Why Change is So Difficult

Deep down, you know you should make changes in your restaurant. So why don't you stick around? In this episode, I'm going to show you exactly why you're stuck and how to fix it for good. Hey, welcome to the Restaurant Coach podcast. It is the cure for the common restaurant. I am Donald Burns, the restaurant coach, author of the youe Restaurant Sucks trilogy and Savage Restaurant Success, and the creator of the T or C method. Change is a fickle thing. While it costs to us to embrace it, it also is quite resistant to being caught. Change is a hypocrite. And when you try to make changes in your life, and especially in your restaurant, it is going to push back. Why? Negative habits are resistant to change. Those habits that you and your team have, they run really, really deep. It's going to take more than a memo or a one hour workshop to evict them. Habits are the foundation of change theory. To be able to conquer them, you first have to understand why change is so hard to achieve. Which I'm going to take you into. A story about monkeys and food. Seriously. So some of the Pararescue men stationed in the Philippines tell a story about how hunters catch a monkey. They use a strategy that understands the monkey's behavioral patterns. And here's the thing. These. These patterns sometimes work against the monkey's best interest. Of course, you've never worked against your own best interest before, have you? I see you nodding yes. A hunter takes a jar with an opening slightly larger than the monkey's hand. He ties a rope around the neck of it using a knot called a monkey's knot. I know, quite original. Which is a cradle of rope around the jar. And then the hunter places some food in the glass jar, like maybe some rice or, or a banana. And the monkey reaches his hand into the jar, grabs the food, making a fist with his paw. Now, here's the monkey's dilemma. The monkey cannot get his hand out of the jar unless he decides he wants to drop the food. The neck of the jar is not wide enough. Of course, the monkey could easily drop the food and get his hand out. But he won't see his monkey mindset won't let him. Despite having the ability to escape, he doesn't. He holds his hand tight around the food, screaming, until the hunter throws a net over the monkey and captures him. So let me ask you a question. Have you ever held onto something that you know you should have let go of? Many people don't know that they can let go and move on. This happens a lot in restaurants when one holds onto something beyond when they should let go and move on. Perhaps you have some staff that you feel deep down that you should let go of, but yet you still hold on to them like that monkey with his hand around a banana, screaming at the top of your lungs about the problems they cause and the drama they create when all you have to do is open your hand and free yourself. Here's the thing. Do you also have some personal habits that you are holding on to that you should let go of? Come on, be honest with yourself. Is it hard to let them go? Yes. But it is required if you're ever going to grow yourself and your business. So here are three obstacles sabotaging your efforts and the real reasons why you don't change. Number one, fear. Now, fear, real or imaginary, is a powerful enemy to change. Fear keeps us immobilized and stuck in situations we know deep down that we should change. Marketers know that and they use fear as a tool to get us to buy all kinds of things that we don't need. Do not allow fear to use you. Right, here's the question. Do you allow fear to use you or do you use fear to move into action? Fear of the unknown is ever present and it can be paralyzing if we allow it. So why don't you train your team more? Fear says if I invest in training them more, then they're going to get better skills and they're going to take those skills and go to another restaurant. That's a bunch of bs. The real fear you must have is that if you do not invest in training your team to elevate your food, your service, your marketing and your leadership, then you will not improve and you will be stuck in complacency. Your competition will be the one who adapts, outperforms, outsells, out out markets and out trains you. Fear is natural and hardwired into our brains as a survival mechanism. Fear needs to be acknowledged and respected. It does not have to be obeyed. Face your fears, address them, and then do the opposite of what fear suggests. You might sound like this. Okay, I can see where investing in training my team is risky and there is a chance that some might take those skills and leave to another restaurant. Those that stay, ooh, they will become better and that will elevate the entire brand. Number two, your comfort zone. Being comfortable is dangerous. When you are in your comfortable, you are very, very vulnerable. If you're not adapting to keep pace or better yet, stay innovative and stay ahead of the pack, you're Quickly going to find yourself displaced in your very own market. Your comfort zone is a place where bad habits love to hang out. They're kind of like old friends and no one wants to get rid of an old friend. Especially if you've known them since childhood. Yeah, some of those habits have been living in your head for a long time. Rent free. It's time to start writing some eviction notices. Number three, false expectations. So many of us, you and I, we have what's known as fortune Teller syndrome. You already have a preconceived notion that it's not going to work out. This is also known as being a pessimist. You can usually tell if someone suffers from this by the language they use. Do any of these statements sound vaguely familiar? We've tried that before. Yeah. Really? How many times? Oh, you know, that won't work in our market. And I would just ask, do you have data and research to back that up? You know, we've always done it like this. Well, that might be the problem. This Fortune Teller syndrome is what psychologists call negativity bias. Our minds are wired to help us survive and adapt. Unfortunately, some of that wiring is not conducive to helping us grow our restaurants. Negativity bias is when your mind reacts to bad things stronger than it does towards good things. Here's a little secret. It takes five positive comments to override every negative one. Now, here's the good news. The good news is that now you know having inside information on how your brain is wired helps create change. When you are aware of something like negativity bias, you have a choice. You can either choose to accept it, or you can choose a different path. That's the amazing thing about free will. You always have a choice. So now that you understand some of the things holding you back from making the changes you need, let's explore how to implement change into your restaurant and also into your life. There are three Ps to making change happen. Number one, purpose. Knowing your purpose, your vision, your mission, or why you do what you do is so, so powerful. If you know your why, the how is easy. The biggest obstacle is not connecting to a powerful enough why. Your purpose has to be connected to emotions. I mean, you can think of lots of logical reasons why you should change. But here's the thing. Logic doesn't move us to taking action. Let's look at a common change most people struggle with going to the gym. Now, on the surface, you can think of a dozen reasons why you should go. I mean, you'll feel better you'll have a lot more energy. You'll be probably a lot healthier. But here's the thing. Why do most people not commit and take action? Because many people have not tapped into emotions of what they get as a result of going to the gym. Think about the feelings you get after a workout. I mean, strong emotions. Confidence, happy, calm. Love. I mean, yes, love. Because taking time to take care of yourself is love. And when you tap into emotions, you tap into your ultimate power. Source number two Persistence. Change will push back. That sweet, soft voice of your comfort zone will come calling, and you have to be committed to staying the course. This is especially difficult for restaurants because while you might be extremely committed and dedicated to seeing these changes take place in your restaurant, sadly the other people on your team might not share the same enthusiasm. If you tapped into a strong why, you're going to be able to weather the storm of negativity and doubt from your team. Persistence also means being adaptable and making adjustments as needed. You and I both know not everything goes as planned, so be ready for obstacles to rise and challenge you. Thinking ahead and having contingency plans are the best way to circumvent these occurrences. In neuro linguistic programming, nlp, there is a preposition, a guiding principle that we follow that states, if something doesn't work, try something else. If that doesn't work, try something else. If that doesn't work, try something else. Get the hint. Too many times we try to implement change and we give up way too easily. And the third p? Patience. Back in the 1950s, there was a plastic surgeon named Maxwell Maltz, and he was fascinated by human behavior. Maltz discovered that it took a patient 21 days to get used to seeing their new face. After plastic surgery, this is where the famous, you know, 21 days to break a habit myth started. Now, the truth is, on average, it takes actually around two months before a new habit or a change really becomes automatic. In most cases, it's going to take you 66 days, to be exact. Can you see where a lot of people give up way too easily when they don't see their new behavior taking effect after only 21 days. Now, for some people, it might even take even longer. Dr. Layli is a health psychology researcher at the University College London. She did a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology that showed it took anywhere from 18 days to 254 days for people to form a new habit. Habits truly do make and break restaurants. Habits are a reflection of the standards we set for the brand. It's in the things we do on a daily basis, like the way we answer the phone, the way we greet a guest, serve a drink, plate an entree, treat each other, clean the bathroom, present a check, and even how we say goodbye. It's also in the things that we might not notice, like updating food cost, managing budgets, training, team communications, hiring, and employee appreciation. Some habits are very, very easy to start, like showing appreciation daily. It's as simple as walking up to someone on your team or a guest and saying just two magical words, thank you. If you want your restaurant to stand out and excel, then developing positive habits is a necessity. Aristotle said it best. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit. Hey, make sure to hit that like and subscribe button before you leave and please share this video with someone that you feel like could really use this message now. For those that really want to fix their habits for good, then grab a seat at my free 2 hour TRC method master class. It is a live training so sorry, no replays. Just head over to www.restaurantcoachmasterclass.com to save your seat.