Monique ThompsonLicensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor & Infidelity Recovery Specialist

#2 reason - too quick to forgive - reasons why you are failing to recover after cheating

29 May 2025 · 1 min

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In this solo commentary, Dr. Monique Thompson, a 24‑year infidelity recovery coach, identifies the second major reason infidelity counseling often fails: many inexperienced therapists push forgiveness as a primary goal. She argues that forgiveness is not a therapeutic strategy but a natural outcome that follows proper trauma treatment and mutual healing of both partners. Thompson stresses that couples should prioritize the healing process—addressing trauma and fostering recovery for each partner—before seeking forgiveness, positioning forgiveness as a result of that work rather than a starting point.

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Hi, I'm Dr. Monique Thompson, an infidelity recovery coach and mental health expert. I've been in practice for 24 years, and I'm going to share with you the number 2 reason. In a previous video, I talked about the number 1 reason why infidelity counseling does not work for some— for most couples, the reason why your infidelity counseling is failing. I mean, here's the number 2 reason. The number 2 reason is many inexperienced therapists jump into forgiveness as a primary goal. Forgiveness is a result. It is not a strategy. The forgiveness comes after you have gone through, gotten the trauma treated, and after both partners have experienced healing. Both, not just one. You've got this. You can do this. But don't jump right into forgiveness. Work on the healing process first. Forgiveness is a result, not a strategy. You can do this.