Monique ThompsonLicensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor & Infidelity Recovery Specialist

Interpersonal Synchrony - EMDR for Couples

14 Oct 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

1:15

In this brief talk, Dr. Monique Thompson explains interpersonal synchrony as the rhythmic, cue‑based connection between partners, extending beyond mere brain or heart sync to include facial expressions and subtle signals. She describes how infidelity disrupts this synchrony, causing previously benign cues to be perceived as threats, which creates a need for constant reassurance. Thompson emphasizes that the aftermath of betrayal often involves trauma that produces a "biological injury" in addition to emotional hurt. She argues that when extreme symptoms arise, traditional talk therapy may be insufficient and recommends Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) or other trauma‑informed approaches to help couples re‑establish safety, restore synchrony, and heal both emotional and biological wounds.

Chapters

Interpersonal synchrony is when you and your partner are connected. And it's not just like brain synchrony, which you think about when we— our brains get in sync, or our hearts are being as one, something like that. It really means that you're picking up on cues, facial expressions, in a way that's really rhythmic, and the pattern is beautiful when things are going well. But after infidelity, Those same cues can be read as signals of feeling unsafe. So repeated cues are needed, constant, constant reassurance that people are safe. Now, when you're in a real-life relationship, this can be exhausting, especially if one or both of you are experiencing trauma because of the infidelity. Ready for EMDR. That's exactly what we're going to do whenever you're experiencing extreme symptoms, think to yourself, I probably need something more than talk therapy. EMDR or trauma-informed approach might help because if you're trying to get back in sync, it's not just your feelings that have been hurt. There's a biological injury as well. All right. I'm Dr. Monique Thompson. I help couples recover from infidelity and I use EMDR as one of my tools and approach. I'll see you soon.