Monique ThompsonLicensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor & Infidelity Recovery Specialist

My partner said: I cheated because we weren't having sex. The "Why Did They Cheat?" Loop

1 Sept 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

1:04

In this YouTube video, Dr. Monique Thompson summarizes her recent blog article that explores why people cheat, focusing on the motives partners often cite—such as lack of sex—and the obsessive‑compulsive mental loop survivors experience while trying to make sense of the infidelity. She emphasizes that metaphors used to explain cheating often break down, and she invites viewers to share their own coping narratives. Dr. Thompson stresses that reconciliation is possible whether the relationship endures or not, and encourages outreach for further discussion.

Chapters

In my latest blog article, I talk about looking at the motives behind why some people choose to cheat and looking at how a person can cope with the constant obsessive-compulsive loop that they may get in while they're trying to figure out why did this happen, especially, especially if your partner's giving you some things that they believe contributed to their reasons for cheating. After you've taken a look at the article and you think, oh, I think I want to talk about this further, please feel free to reach out to me and consider that there are a lot of metaphors in this article. and all metaphors fall apart. But I'd also be curious to know how you're making sense of what's been going on with you in this excruciatingly painful experience for most people when you find out that your partner has cheated. I'm Dr. Monique Thompson, and I am excited to see the outcomes, no matter whether they belong with the one who cheated or the one who was cheated on. And please know that I believe that reconciliation can happen whether the relationship survives or not.