Monique ThompsonLicensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor & Infidelity Recovery Specialist

Can you be friends? No.

29 Jun 2025 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

0:34

In this brief YouTube monologue, Dr. Monique Thompson—who works with couples recovering from affairs and adult survivors of sexual trauma—explains why trying to be friends with a partner immediately after discovering infidelity is unwise. She argues that mixed messages (pretending to be friends while still processing the betrayal) stall recovery and can trap both parties in a confusing dynamic. Instead, she emphasizes that the most important ally during this period is oneself; the listener should prioritize self‑care, set clear boundaries, and allow time before transitioning to a genuine friendship. The video offers concise tips for moving forward without getting caught in a cycle of mixed signals.

Chapters

Mixed messages stall recovery. No, you cannot be friends. I know you want to be friends. Oh, we could just be— we thought we would always be friends. You can be friends later. You can be friendly, but you cannot be friends just yet, okay? After you find out your partner's been cheating on you, the friend that you actually need the most is yourself. I'm Dr. Monique Thompson. I help couples recover from affairs and adult survivors of sexual trauma, and these are some tips on how you can move forward without getting caught in a cycle. Your best friend that you need to work it out with the most is you.