In this video Dr. Monique Thompson, an infidelity therapist, explains why searching for a therapist based on geographic proximity is ineffective. She argues that closeness does not guarantee expertise in handling affairs and advises viewers to seek referrals from trusted sources instead. The recommended referral network includes marriage counselors, personal acquaintances, and healthcare professionals such as family doctors or OB‑GYNs, emphasizing that seasoned therapists often operate offline and are not found through Google, Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook. Dr. Thompson cautions against relying on online reviews, describing them as a "toss‑up" for such intimate services. She suggests a practical evaluation method: after securing a referral, attend a short trial of three to four sessions to assess fit and therapeutic approach. The video also touches on privacy and insurance considerations, noting that approaching a medical professional can keep the search confidential while also addressing coverage questions. The overall message is to prioritize expertise and personal referrals over convenient online searches when looking for an infidelity therapist.
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Hi, I'm Dr. Monique Thompson, and I help couples recover from infidelity. A common search term for people is find an infidelity therapist near me. I'm going to show you in this video why you should not worry about finding a therapist near you. Instead, what you want is a therapist who has a lot of expertise doing what you need. So number one, when you search find an infidelity therapist near me, that assumes that just because someone is close to you geographically, they are really good and have a lot of expertise in what you're needing. Well, obviously that doesn't make a lot of sense, but it's a common search term. It's what people usually start with is where can I go locally? Where can I go close by? Well, instead, here's what I want you to do. Think about who Who can I ask? Who personally can I ask? Who do you know who's a good marriage counselor? You don't need to tell them what's going on. You just need to maybe say, who do you know that's good with couples? Who do you know that's a good marriage couples counselor? Now, when you find that person, here are the questions you want to ask that person. Do you know any great infidelity counselors? Anybody with expertise dealing with infidelity? That's what you want to ask a person who's in the industry Not necessarily your best friend. But let's say you do ask your best friend. One, I take it with a grain of salt, and two, I take that lead as the person to ask, do you know anybody who's really good at helping couples recover from affairs? So those are two ways for you to go about it. One, you find the marriage counselor yourself and ask them, what do you know that's really good at helping couples recover? from affairs, can you give me a few referrals? Now they may say, well, I offer that. And you might say, sure, thank you so much, but would you mind also giving me the names of a few colleagues that you trust? If they are a therapist worth their salt, they know a couple of people who are good at what they do, and they should give you those extra names. Ethically, we have to give you those names. Okay? Now you're also going to ask your best friend. Your best friend is going to say, oh yeah, such and such went to this person or that person. I'm not necessarily saying don't go to that person. But I'm definitely not saying for sure go to them. What you want to do is ask that person, who do you know who's a good person at helping couples get over affairs? And they may say likewise, well, I do. And you say, great, no problem. Would you mind giving me a couple of names of other colleagues who also are very good at finding, um, helping people find their way through this situation? Okay. Person number 3 that you can ask for help when it comes to finding a therapist to help you with infidelity. Your doctor, your regular family doctor. Kid you not, your regular family doctor or your OB-GYN. People in the healthcare professions, you tend to know each other. And I'll give you this little insider secret: my colleagues who've been practicing over 25, 30 years are typically not on the internet. They're anywhere but on the internet. I even have a couple of colleagues who literally still have a human being answering the phone, who's a secretary sitting right outside their office. Literally doing it the old-fashioned way, if you will. But they are definitely the salt of the earth when it comes to therapists. You're just not going to find them on Google, on Instagram, definitely not on TikTok, and not on Facebook because those people came into the field pre-internet and they just kind of do things the way they always done. But a lot of them are really your go-to gold mines for expertise. The last person that I would ask ever on earth, Honestly, it's Google. When it comes to therapists, trusting the reviews that you find on Google are a toss-up. One reason is because it's such an intimate relationship. When you find the review, you've got to take it with a grain of salt. So the best thing is for you to find out yourself. When you go to someone for couples counseling for infidelity, this is not the time to interview them to the core of their bones. What you want to do is instead follow their procedure, follow their whatever their guidelines are for becoming a client, try it out. Take a test drive and see what you think after maybe 3 to 4 sessions. I genuinely mean after 3 to 4 sessions. All right, so now let's erase the board and let's recap. You need a counselor for infidelity. You went and you Googled infidelity therapist near me. They gave you a ton of listings, and then you went to see if it's covered under your insurance. Then you saw that you saw some names, but you don't know if any of them any good. See how you're really back at square one? Instead, remember, we're going back to the beginning of this video. You're going to start. You're going to start with someone who actually is a counselor. You're going to ask them, "Who do you know that's really good at helping couples recover from affairs, helping couples with infidelity?" You're going to maybe go to your best friend, but whoever your best friend suggests, you're going to ask them that same question: Who do you know that's really good at helping couples? And you're going to go to the doctor, to your family doctor, your OB-GYN, whoever you're going to see for family, any kind of healthcare professional. And you're going to say, hey, do you have any colleagues that are good at helping couples deal with things, maybe infidelity, cheating, affairs, things like that? If you're already in a confidential healthcare provider's office, you've killed 2 birds with one stone, keeping your information private and near to heart so that you can have the emotional and psychological space you need to work things out. Or not. But the space to figure that out requires a professional, right? All right, good luck on finding your best therapist. I'm rooting for everybody. Thank you.
