Monique ThompsonLicensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor & Infidelity Recovery Specialist

I found out my partner cheated. THEY don't want to talk about it. I can't stop thinking about it.

18 Dec 2025 · 1 min

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In this brief therapeutic monologue, Dr. Monique Thompson explains the dynamics of betrayal trauma that follow an infidelity discovery. She describes how avoidance creates a circular pattern where not thinking about the trauma prevents processing, yet thinking about it triggers intense distress. She emphasizes the desire for a partner to become a better listener—more sensitive, accommodating, apologetic—and to make amends, but clarifies that true healing requires treating the trauma itself. Dr. Thompson outlines that clearing the trauma, particularly through EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), enables the individual to think clearly and make a calm, informed decision about whether to stay in or leave the relationship. The video serves as an invitation to couples to begin trauma work so they can move forward with clarity.

Chapters

A lot of people, when they experience betrayal trauma, try not to think about it. And because you're not thinking about it, you can't think about it. And when you think about it, you feel traumatized. It's just a circle, right? So then you want your partner to be a better listener. You want your partner to be more sensitive, more accommodating, more understanding, apologetic. You want them to change, make amends. Really, what you want to do is treat the trauma so that you can think. The cleared trauma means that you can think and you can make a decision, a solid decision, to stay or to leave. I'm Dr. Monique Thompson. I help couples All the time, people kick their shoes off and get started working on cleaning up the trauma so that they can quickly move forward and make a decision—a calm, clear decision—to stay or to go. EMDR helps you to clean things up so that you can clear things up on which way you want to go. See you soon.