This content was created by Monique Thompson. This content was uploaded by Monique Thompson. This is a YouTube video titled "I’m a therapist and this is what I’d do if my husband cheated!" (published 2026-05-19). It features Monique Thompson speaking in first-person — a licensed therapist with 25 years in private practice and 23 years of marriage — describing how she would respond to discovering a spouse’s infidelity. She outlines immediate steps and supports: first calling a trusted, nonjudgmental friend to process emotions; assembling a care team including a trauma-informed life coach, a trauma-certified therapist (e.g., EMDR, ART, polyvagal, brainspotting), and an OB-GYN; and managing emotional breakdowns while protecting family stability. The excerpt is a single-speaker personal/professional reflection on responding to infidelity.
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I posted the other day about what to do if you find out your partner's cheating, and I said make sure that you talk to somebody, talk to a therapist, because you just don't need to trust yourself until you calm down. And I got to thinking, that probably came across as not that compassionate and genuine. And I'm married, I've been married for 23 years, I've been in private counseling practice for 25 of those years. And so let me be clear, if I found out That my husband was cheating on me, as a professional in this field, my specialty is infidelity, I can tell you exactly what I would do. Number one, I have a friend. She's one of the most non-judgmental people I know besides myself. That's who I'm talking to first because I know she can keep her mouth shut and she's going to listen without judgment. And I'm going to have a full breakdown, the— a full, complete Idiot breakdown. That's number one. So I'm gonna fully break down, but I'm gonna break down talking to her. I've been telling people for years that if it ever happened, you know, because I love that man. I love my husband. Oh my God! Big Daddy Wonderfulness, the unconquerable. Yes, I love him. If it ever happened that we were facing such a situation and it wasn't gonna work out, we're gonna get a divorce. I'm having a beautiful divorce. I'm not wrecking up my house. My kids are gonna be fine. I'm gonna slow us down until we— I can have a beautiful divorce. But see, this is in the pretend state of my mind, having not found out. If I did, I believe I'd be able to hang in there until I have a beautiful divorce. But because I know better, here's the team I would quickly assemble. Number 1, a trauma-informed life coach. Not a regular life coach, not somebody hollering and screaming and doing motivational talks. I need a trauma-informed life coach. I need a therapist who is certified in one of the trauma families. It don't matter which one. It could be ART, EMDR, polyvagal theory, brain spotting, something. Why? Because that group of therapists in all of behavioral science, they're interested in your brain and nervous system, and they study it all the time. And I know if they came across something they couldn't figure out with me, they would go find somebody and do a consult because they just kind of tend to be that type. So that's who I would go see. The third person I would need to go see is my OB-GYN. Sit on that for a minute. If he been cheating, I gotta go get checked out, okay? And I'm gonna find somebody, somebody somewhere to keep me right here because I might be on the brink of losing it every 5 minutes. I happen to know which one of my friends can keep me right here, and I am so grateful to her. I am so grateful to her because she's been on her job for a long time.
