Monique ThompsonLicensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor & Infidelity Recovery Specialist

You find out someone is cheating: How do you know they are sorry?

27 Jun 2024 · 3 min

Watch on YouTube

2:30

In this solo advice video, Monique Thompson addresses the common dilemma of determining whether a cheating partner is truly remorseful. She argues that the pivotal question isn’t whether the partner is sorry, but whether the individual can trust their own judgment. Monique explains that self‑trust is essential for navigating the uncertainty of the partner’s future behavior and for deciding whether to stay or leave. She offers a practical tip: give yourself permission to be wrong and avoid demanding perfection from yourself, which enables clearer decision‑making. Throughout, she emphasizes evaluating personal confidence in handling potential lies, healing, or continued relationship, rather than trying to read the partner’s sincerity. The video concludes with an invitation to contact her office for personalized guidance, highlighting her 23 years of experience and a phone number for appointments.

Chapters

Are they really sorry? So you find out somebody is cheating or that they had cheated, and you're wanting to know, are they really sorry? Are they sorry for what they did? And I'm gonna volley this question back to you. Question is not, are they really sorry? The question is, can you trust your own judgment? They may or may not be really sorry. They actually could be really, really sorry right now. And if we fast forward time, they're not going to be sorry later. We don't know the future, but you do know one person who you have to trust, and it is not the person who cheated. The person you have to trust is you. You, you're the person that you have to trust. So this is actually about you trusting your own judgment. And here's a tip from me. Give yourself permission to not be judged by you. Let me say that again. If you demand of yourself that you cannot be wrong, you cannot make this decision because there's a chance that you're wrong. So you go into this decision and you do the best you can to trust yourself. Which means you say, can I trust me? Not can I trust you? Can I trust me? Can I trust me that if it turns out you're lying to me, can I trust me that I will figure out a way to be okay? Can I trust me that if you are telling me the truth, I can trust myself that I'll work through a healing process so that we can work things out? Can I trust me that even if you are sincere, You are never gonna do this again. You are sincere that you're sorry it ever happened. Can I trust me that even if that's true, I trust me that I still may not want to be in this relationship? So you see, the question is not, how do I know if this person will or won't cheat on me, or are they telling the truth? The question is, can you trust yourself? I'd love to work with you if you need somebody to walk through this with you, right? Sometimes you gotta play out these ideas, work through the pain. Reach out to my office. I'm Monique Thompson, 972-820-9965. 23 years doing this and I have not lost anybody yet. Take care. Thank you.