Femi LazarusCEO at Femi Lazarus Consulting

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17 Feb 2026 · 2 min

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1:43

In this monologue, the speaker argues that adultery can be committed without sexual intercourse, challenging common assumptions about sexual purity. He then explores how individuals raised in hardship or broken families often view the bare minimum of achievement as a significant accomplishment, leading them to seek public validation of their recovery. The speaker highlights a pattern where people who experienced public shame during childhood feel compelled to broadcast their success, especially in social media groups, to prove they have transcended their past. This need for external validation is presented as a sign of being "broken," suggesting that reliance on others' approval can undermine genuine personal fulfillment.

Chapters

You can commit adultery even if you never committed fornication. Yes. I think this is something people don't realize. In fact, if care is not taken, from my place as one who counsels often, that is very— the propensity is very high. Many people just think that the reward for sexual purity is sexual satisfaction. God never said that. There is a way you grow up in hardship that you believe life is hard, and because you survived hardship, you believe everybody should survive hardship. So you're not even aware. Have you seen some of these fathers that will say, at my age, I walked how many kilometers to go to school? That's wrong, sir. But I found myself looking at my son and telling my son that you don't know how easy your life is. And I'm like, you're not doing anything special. That it wasn't done to you does not mean it is special. And some men have that challenge. You are bringing barest minimum to the table. But because you never had barest minimum, barest minimum looks like a big deal. If you come from a broken family, if you come from a broken background, and you feel that you're doing better than maybe your father, you want the world to see because your shame was visible when you were growing up. And your father and mother used to fight, your father used to beat your mom, and the neighbors used to be aware. Your shame was public, so your recovery, you also want it to be public. That's why you see some people in their secondary school WhatsApp groups, you see them just flaunting because they were the poor kid in secondary school. Now that they've made it, they want everybody to know that that poor kid is no longer that poor kid. Hmm. Why do you need to prove a point? These are things that happen almost every day. If you can't enjoy a moment without making it public, you are broken. Because whoever can validate you can break you.