HOW TO DEAL WITH PAIN 2

The word of God is the ultimate agent of transformation. It breaks barriers, renews minds, awakens destinies. It reshapes, realigns, rebuilds. Apostle Femi Lazarus has been given a divine mandate to raise a generation of kingdom-minded culture shapers, leaders equipped to infiltrate every sphere of influence to inspire, to transform societies, and to leave a lasting mark on generations to come. The word of God dominates my spirit. His life is at work in me. My body is not susceptible to sickness. His sermons knows no boundaries. It speaks to every race, every tongue, every culture. Every sermon, every insight, every counsel carries the power to ignite transformation, bring healing, and unlock divine purpose. Get set for a journey beyond the ordinary, a journey of transformation, of restoration, empowerment through the power of God's word. Quickly, I want to show you something. I'm going to tell you just one story, um, and this story is— I want to help you see another perspective. Is it— it's a story you are familiar with. But see another perspective to it and then see how it relates to you. Is that okay? But let's first read the scripture. Hebrews chapter number 12. I pray I'm correct. Yes, I think I am. Hebrews 12, we'll start the reading from verse, um, 14. If you're in Hebrews 12, say a big amen. All right, look at this. From verse 14 says what? Follow peace with all men, um, and what? Holiness, without which no man will what? See God. Look at verse 15, which is where I'm going to. He said, looking diligently, lest any man fail of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you and thereby many be defiled. So it tells us that anywhere there's bitterness, there's defilement. Um, nothing punctures people's wits in the spirit like bitterness. There are many homes and many individuals that are struggling to fly because somebody is nursing something that a person will never talk about and will never forgive. There are women who have things against their husbands. They won't tell the man because they feel you won't listen. They have made up their mind they are in the marriage for the sake of the children, but they are not connected to him. Even if they offer their body, it is— there's no connection. And there are children that the only reason they call Daddy and Mommy is out of honor. They have things in their mind and they are struggling to let go. When matters pile up and issues are not addressed, it leads to bitterness. And once bitterness is there, it defiles. Your internal environment. It contaminates the cloud. Your relationship with God becomes contaminated. You, you are not able to flow freely. We forgive as we have been forgiven. Now look at this. So let me just get quickly to this. The word translated to bitterness here means sharp or pointed. It's like an arrow. That's the word there. To not forgive is to be imprisoned and thinking someone else is suffering. Let me tell you something, it may be difficult, but one of the decisions you will make in your life is that there will be no one that is powerful enough for me not to forgive. Okay, now look at this. Bitterness has sharpness to it. When a person is bitter, they are not sweet. You lose your sweetness once you become bitter. When I was serving, there was a lady there in the family house. Everybody had something negative to say about her. So I'm like, well, I don't deal with people based on impressions of others. Everyone has something bad. So, and truth be told, if you meet this sister She wasn't sweet, so everyone were running different kind of propaganda against her. But over time, I was able to break her wall and then get to meet her in person and discover how sweet she is in person. Anyone who nurses grudge is not strategic. The real wicked people will earn public approval and you will be thrown away. Listen, don't just have a good heart, you must have a strategy. Your family members can hate you because you are the one who can't express yourself. Only God rewards you for the quality of your heart. Men will honor you for your sweetness. I can tell you things. Do you understand what I'm saying? All right. And some of the people you meet in your life, and you must learn how to beat them at their own game, are narcissists. They will afflict you and report you as to why you are crying. In all your battles, maintain your sweetness. All right, once you become bitter, you lose sweetness. I need to be quiet. And you have to note this in capital letter: that you are anointed doesn't mean you can't be bitter. You can communicate what look like burden at all because you are angry, and you'll be injuring people with tongues. Once you don't deal with bitterness, the puppet becomes the place of slaughter. You come to the altar with the aim of fighting personal battles. Um, okay, this is going to be the first place I will say this. It's a million-dollar secret. God taught me personally that the only message he can back up is the one that contains him. Not you. If it is him, it will fly. If it is you, it is too heavy to fly. Let me look— let me teach you how deception works. You have billions of people across the world that you can bless with your sermon. Then you decide to focus that sermon on one person who is being stupid. Maybe this would be like a side lesson for pastors that, hey, there are people that the devil will send to your ministries. Their goal is to hijack your message and turn it towards them. Don't be bitter. It is wisdom to forgive and let go. All right. So let me quickly share a story with you in the Bible, and let's remove certain myths. 2 Samuel chapter number 13 from verse 1. 2 Samuel chapter number 13 from verse 1. This is a very interesting story. Let's read this together, is that okay? Let's start from verse 1. And it came to pass After this, Absalom the son of David had a fair sister whose name was what? Tamar. And Amnon, who again the son of David, loved her. Absalom was son of David by another woman. Tamar was the youngest of Absalom by the same mother. Then there's this other guy there. What's his name again? Amnon. All of them the same father. So Amnon fell in love with his own stepsister, and Amnon was so vexed that he fell sick for his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her. And Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab. You need to be careful of Jonadabs, the son of Shimeah, David's brother. And Jonadab was a very subtle man, and he said to him, why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? Will thou not tell me? And Amnon said, I love Tama. Let me give you a bit of background of that story. One of the things David did that brought pain into his home was that he married multiple wives. You see, people will make it look like fun, that it's a thing of fun to pack many women. Till you see the back end and the pain behind it, that you have siblings you can't really call siblings. That's one of the things that destroyed the lives of David— multiple women. But there's nothing sweet about polygamy. So this guy, you know the story, he called his sister Tamar in, he raped her. The moment he was done raping her, look at what happened. That same 2 Samuel 13, let's start from Verse 12. And she said unto him, Nay, my brother. Nay is no. Do not force me, for no such ought to be done in Israel. Do not thou this folly. And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? And as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king. Come to me, for he will not withhold me from you. Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice, but being stronger than she, forced her, lay with her. Look at the moment he was done sleeping with her, what's the next thing? And Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred, all right, wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he, what, loved her. And Amnon said unto her, arise and be gone. Let me tell you ladies something, take this as a bit of truth. The moment you give your body to a man you are not married to because you love him, the next thing that comes to the head of a man is maybe this is how she gives it to all others. But men won't tell you. They won't tell you. You just start thinking, ah, sorry guys. Now look at, look at this devastating story. When it was not even a centerway, so that the girl now put on ashes and sackcloth, and the daughter of the king was on the street. Look at verse 20. And Absalom her brother said unto her, Amnon thy brother— so, has Amnon thy brother been with thee? That's, has he slept with you? But now hold your peace, my sister, he's your brother. Don't take this to heart. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's heart. And when the king heard all these things, He was very hot. And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon because he had forced his sister. The king heard it, he was angry, but he didn't rebuke Amnon. Absalom heard it. He was angry. He didn't talk. What's the next verse? 2 years passed. It was swept under the carpet as a matter that must not bring shame in the king's palace. Have you seen families where a family member will rape a girl and say, don't talk, and say, it's your uncle? If we talk now, it's public shame for the family. That's how bitterness is being sown. 2 years. It's a very interesting story, pay attention. Now look at verse 23. And it came to pass after 2 full years that Absalom had his sheep shearers in Baal-Azo. Which is beside Ephraim. And Absalom invited all the king's sons. And Absalom said, behold now thy servants as sheep shearers. Let the king, I beseech you, and his servants go with his servant. Now he want their father to be there. He has a plan. Well, I want Daddy to be there also. Now let's look at that plan. And the king said unto Absalom, Nay, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be what? Chargeable unto thee. And he pressed him, albeit he would not go, but blessed him. And Absalom said, If not, I pray thee, let my brother Amnon go with us. And the king said unto him, Why should he go with thee? And Absalom pressed him, and he let Amnon Is that in your Bible? Okay. And he lets Amnon and all the king's sons go with him. And Absalom now commanded, he said, Mark the moment Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, smite Amnon, then kill him. Fear not. For I have commanded— have I not commanded you, be courageous and be what? Valiant. He wanted to kill that boy, but my father, who has refused to address the evil in this house, I want him to be there too when his blood will be spilled. Just write it in capital letter in your notes: the culture of silence. I'm going to deal with that. 2 years. When I'm— and look at it, what kind of a person is Amnon? You raped somebody's sister, the father didn't call you, you are not shivering. She has an elder brother who is a man of war, he didn't ask you and you are not afraid. And now he called you to a party. And you have the audacity not just to attend the party but to be drunk. Talk about impudence. What, what kind of impudence is that? I've seen people who are sleeping with somebody's wife and will still go to the house and eat. The kind of a risk people take. Absalom had kept it in his heart, I will kill you. To where they were eating and all those things. In verse 29, and the servant of Absalom And they did unto Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons arose, and every man gat him upon his mule and fled. And it came to pass, while they were in the way, that the tidings came to David, saying, Absalom hath slain all the king's sons, and there is none of them left. Then the king arose and tore his garments and lay in the earth, and all his servants stood by him with his clothes rent. Okay. They came and then tell him the correct truth in verse 33. All the king's sons are not dead. But in verse 34, Absalom run away, and they were looking for Absalom for several years. He escaped. But look at this. So in verse 38, Absalom ran for many years, 3 years. And in verse 39, the soul of King David longed to go forth unto Absalom, for he was comforted concerning Amnon, seeing he was there. He won't address it again. There were many— see, we read about the sweet Psalmist of Israel, the beautiful, the amazing King David, the anointed of the Most High, the one who killed Goliath. But I'm showing you his family now. It was a home of pain and what? Bitterness. Now, years later, something happened in 2 Samuel chapter number 14. Um, if I'm going to be able to jump— Absalom, you know, came back home. And, um, David asked them, he said, I want you, my army, make sure when you catch Absalom, catch him alive for me, because he went in full-on defiance against the throne. In fact, he became so bitter that he went to get some of David's— so this was what happened. The moment they saw that this guy is angry against David, some men who also have bitterness against David now joined league with him. Bitterness recruits bitterness. And that's why in every ministry, the bitter will always look for anyone who is bitter to make friends with, and they will now begin to collide and share their opinions of bitterness to bring down the ministry. Bitter people recruit bitter people. That's the science. Among those that Absalom was able to recruit to his side was the most trusted and the wisest advisor of David. A man called Ahithophel. I'm trying to sum my story now. One time they sat down and they were scheming what to do to bring down David. Ahithophel told them, this is what you can do that will hurt David your father. I want you to sleep with his wives. On the top of his palace. And that seemed good to the child, that yes, let's rape his wives there. In fact, when David heard that Ithophel had joined Absalom, his fear increased. But why did Aitofel say that David should sleep with the father's wife on top of a particular house? Let me see if I can show you. You want to know? Okay, look at 2 Samuel 16, verse 20. 2 Samuel 16: And then said Absalom to himself, Give counsel among you what we shall do. Yes. And Ahithophel said unto Absalom, Go in unto thy father's concubines. With— how can your best friend be giving your son this counsel? All right, keep all this house and all that. Look at it. Go to your father's concubines which are left to keep the house, and all Israel shall hear that thou art about thy father, and at the hands of all that are with thee shall be strong and all that. Look at verse 22. And they spread Absalom a tent on top, upon the top of his house, and Absalom went into his father's concubines in the sight of all Israel. There's a sign for that. There was a reason why he was doing that. Now, um, this is the plot twist. You want to see it? Um, we just read 2 Samuel, what now? Okay, look at 2 Samuel 23:34. 2 Samuel 23 Eli Philet. So many of you, the reason why you don't understand the Bible the way you should is because when you read this begat this begat, you say it's too long, I can't read. You need to understand genealogies. Look at this: Eli Philet, the son of Ahashbai, the son of whatever the name is, Eliam, the son of Ahitophel. Mark that word in your Bible. Eliam, the son of who? Ahithophel. So Ahithophel has a son called who? Eliam. Okay, let's now look into the life of Eliam. 2 Samuel chapter number, um, 11. 2 Samuel 11, verse 3. When David stood on his house in the year that kings went to battle, he saw a very fine woman. You remember that story? Okay, where did he stand? That place where Ahithophel said, that's where you should sleep with the wives. So he stood there, saw a very fine woman, and in verse 3, David sent and inquired after the woman, and one said, is this not Bathsheba, the son of who? Eliam. So Bathsheba was the son of Eliam, mean that she was the granddaughter of Ahithophel, David's best friend. Look at this. Are you seeing the narrative now? David slept with the granddaughter of his best friend, and Ahithophel too didn't speak. He never said a word. Ah, he kept advising him. You slept with your most trusted advisors grandchild and killed her husband. So when Aitofela had the opportunity, he remembered few years ago, the same place where he stood and slept with my daughter, stand there too and sleep with his wife's. What was betting all this culture of silence, all this pain? Silence, leaving issues unaddressed, injustice. Ah, we can take and copy and paste the House of David as the Body of Christ. Okay, now you understand that many of those that arose and we call monsters against the body, they are monsters with made. Okay, we leave issues unaddressed in the name of Touch Not My Anointed. Sorry. God, everywhere the church is bleeding, help us. Anywhere there's injustice, people don't thrive. Aitofel's family must have sat down. Every day he will sit at the table to counsel the king, and he will watch his grandchild that he gave over to another man walking as a queen that was forcefully taken, and that man slaughtered. And Aitofel kept on doing his duties and waiting for a perfect time to strike. Now, David was used to getting away with matters unsolved. Nothing is really swept under any carpet. It grows. It is just a matter of when. There's nothing hidden that will not be revealed. We are very quick to call people monsters, Antichrist. I've said it in parable. Sometimes your heroes and villains are villains who are smooth talking, and sometimes your villains are heroes who are just quiet. If you grow in knowledge and wisdom and you mature— if, if— let me tell you how the story will end. Ah, okay, it's in parables anyway. Have you ever imagined fighting for a part of the military and they will tell you to go after other soldiers and kill them because they say they are rebellious soldiers, only to discover that the organization you are fighting for is actually the rebellious organization? The two similarities between Absalom and Aitofel was that they were both not seen deep level of pain, hatred, and resentment, but they chose to be quiet. Now, do you know the unfortunate thing? And this is the plot twist. One time Ahithophel gave Absalom a counsel. I think 2 Samuel 17: 23. Aitofel gave Absalom a counsel, and David already prayed. And Aitofel saw that his counsel was not followed. He saddled his ass and arose and got him home to his house, to his city, and put his household in order. Very wise guy. And and hanged himself. Now, what David did to Absalom, to Ahithophel, was he good? Talk to me now. Was he good? In all honesty, was he good? What he did— what Amnon did to Absalom and to Tamar, was he good? The silence of David about it, was he good? Oh, okay. You know how Solomon also died? Yes, Joab killed him. He struck him with a javelin, busted out his intestines. But look at this shocking story. At the end of David's life, look at God's remark. 2 Samuel 23, from verse 1. This is the reason why you must be wise. Now these be the last words of David, the son of Jesse, said the man who was raised up on high, the anointed of God. This is summary of his life. The anointed of God of Jacob, the sweet psalmist of Israel, said The Spirit of the Lord spake by me, and his word was in my tongue. In fact, in the lifetime of Jesus, one blind guy will still call him, thou son of David, and Jesus will answer. But David You wronged people. Painfully enough, this God that is all-wise still brought the next king from a stolen wife. Can I beg you, people can hurt you badly., and God will still use them. God will still honor them. They will still make heaven. They may finish well. In fact, in heaven they may have a bigger seat than you. Don't kill yourself. What is the biggest wisdom when dealing with pain? Remove yourself from the equation by forgiving. There are things I can say. David, was he not the man after God's heart? One day, so in heaven, there will be trumpet. Pah, pah, pah! All hail David, the anointed of the Most High! And will be like, don't die, oh, somebody break my heart. I feel like dying. I feel like drinking shaving powder. I can't take it. Don't die, don't die for anybody. Stay alive. In Ezekiel, um, Ezekiel 34, that's a, that's a passage for pastors talking about the Shepherd of Israel. David was still referenced as the typology of what a shepherd should look like. God, what about all those things he did? You that they are wronging, you are the one who is under attack. Let me tell you my story and how God helped me. I've seen things happen in the body of Christ. How I choose to respond is my business. I'm never— Femi Lazarus, you're an idiot, you're an ego. Go on. I will keep showing up. You think I'll go and sit down and say, hey, I'm angry? There are people who are not even happy you're occupying your space. They need your vacancy so they can thrive. I will keep showing up. I will keep being a sweet blessing. Then I'm going to come out and start preaching out of anger and bitter— see, I will tell you how much I love you and still use your songs to dance. Look at you. It is not strategic. To be bitter. It is not. If you have a father who is not— maybe your biological father who is not guided, but something ought to move from you into you, honor him. Apostle Femi Lazarus will be right back with the concluding part of this message, so stay tuned. And as you ponder on these words that that you are listening to. Remember, this moment is not a pause, but an invitation. Every revelation you are hearing is meant to shape your conviction, refine your perspective, and draw you deeper into the life God is calling you to live. So let your heart stay open, and let your spirit stay attentive. There is more to receive. And the next part of this message carries even greater light. Welcome back. Um, can I quickly give you an illustration? Um, can I have 3 brothers quickly? 3 quickly. 3 brothers, come, come quickly, come, come. How many are coming? Okay, so look at it. This is what— come, come, you come here, and then you come here. This is the 3 seasons of your life. The word man, M for morning, A for afternoon, N for night. Listen, these are the 3 phases you have in your life. Your morning phase is the phase of beauty and radiance, is the phase of dream. When you give birth to a child, Linda, you say, what do you want to become? I want to become a pilot. I want to become this. Later you can study both, is your business. But you start by saying, I want to be pilot, I want to be a medical doctor, I want to— you are, you are free to dream of anything in the morning. The afternoon phase is the phase of actualization. If you dream wrong dreams in the afternoon, you will have bad job in the afternoon. Then you will have no rest at night because the night face is the face of rest. The morning and the afternoon face, they are both the face of beauty. It's the face where your light is shining. You look at these two face, you call it day. So if you combine these two, you have day and what? Night. Now, plot twist: it is not your age that determines which phase you are. You can be born and you are born at night because you were born into struggles, and you can be 80 and still be in the day. This is what God promised you. Your day is the season of beauty. When you are seen, you are heard, you have everything you need for life and godliness. You can be in the morning and one medical report shows you at night, oh, you have 2 months to live. This is what God promised you. Honor your father and your mother so that your day will be long. Not your life, your day. It necessarily means also that your life will be long, but your life can be long in the night. It means at nighty you are still in the day. Still producing fruit, still giving result. That's the result of honor. I want to beg all of you, there are many of you here who legitimately you've been offended, but your day might be short because you are not handling it well. Now you are letting them teach you twice. You already started saying you hate church. It was not church that offended, it was a person. You already started— you are becoming irrational. You are leaving your own purpose untouched because you are angry. Everything your life is about is being killed. Don't you see that that injury was the attack? Don't react, respond. One time in my life— no, yesterday I spoke about suicide. I had a woman who promised me, when I'm done dealing with you, you will kill yourself. And several times I was in pain. Other children will eat bread and tea. You know, I grew up in Kano. I will be given the back of the bread, the hard part, with water. I couldn't sit on chair, I look like a houseboy. She will curse me, say, if God is God in your life, where is your mother? And I will sit down and I will keep making plans. I will leave this world for all of you. Would they not be happy? One time she called me and was raining curses. I know what pain looks like. Rain curses. And I removed the phone from my ears and dropped it on the bed. And later when I checked, I saw that she was raining curses for over 18 minutes. So I called her back. I picked my phone and I called her and I said, I know why you are doing what you're doing. To what? I said, please calm down. I said, you are afraid of me. I said, you know that God is going to lift me and you think I will attack your children. They are my siblings and I love you and I love them too. Then she broke down in tears. Then I now understood that she was not practically even doing what she was doing because she's wicked. The injured will injure. You can't touch my siblings where I am. I knew if I didn't forgive, I will not be here today. I'll be grounded. I want to beg you in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. You are here, it's been painful, you've held it and you know you have to let go. God has placed that grace on my life. Come, let me agree with you in prayer. This is not the time to be afraid. No, no, no, no, come, come, let's, let's pray. Church, rise to your feet. We will stand in the Golden City, on the key, in the New Jerusalem. All our fields and all our tears will be no more. We will stand with the host of heaven and cry, holy is the Lamb. Turn it down. Holy, holy, holy is the Lamb. Lift your hands, everyone here, and say, Jesus, I receive grace this morning to let go. I receive grace. Mention the name of those people, imagine them, picture them. I say, Lord, I forgive. It might be somebody who took advantage of you and left you stranded. Maybe somebody who promised you marriage took advantage of you and absconded, maybe to even marry a friend. It might be a husband that cheated on you, maybe brought sickness home. You made me whole, you showed me grace. Where's that lady yesterday? At the cross where you died for me, and his glory appears like a light from the sun. Edge to edge, you shine Oh, look to the sky, hear the angels cry, singing, oh, please the Lord. Now look up, every one of you. I believe the Lord has shown you one or two things this morning. You forgive those you can call amongst them. There are those who are not callable, just let them go. But those you can call, you call and say, 'I let go.' And now you can now enter into an aspect of destiny you've not been able to enter because of bitterness. Father, I decree grace over your children. Some of them are here struggling with every family oath, some of them every church oath. Heal their hearts, restore them, restore them to the right tone of mind. Let your hand rest upon them, heal them completely. Every source of pain, anger, and bitterness, it is out of the way now. You will not be stagnated. Those wounds are healed and healed forever. We give you all the praise, Lord. In Jesus' mighty name we have prayed. If this message blessed your life, there's so much more waiting for you. The Femi Lazarus Digital Library gives you access to powerful teachings, messages, and resources from Apostle Femi Lazarus, all in one place. Download the app today on the App Store and Play Store and keep growing in the word.