Femi Lazarus explains how low self-esteem pushes people to marry partners they'll later regret. You settle for a cheaper version of what you actually want, choose based on what others expect, or stay for surface reasons like looks or kids. Recognizing fear-driven choices matters.
There was someone I was going to date that I was going to ask out, but I just felt like, nah, not my class, man. Looking back and now I'm thinking, I'm saying there's absolutely nothing that should have stopped me from—
Low self-esteem can give you a spouse you celebrate today and regret tomorrow. Low self-esteem can put you in the place where you marry the low-budget version of your desire. Low self-esteem can put you in the place where you marry somebody because they look like who you should have married. Low self-esteem can put you in a place where you marry somebody knowing that things are not going to be well because you have to leave home. Wow. Low self-esteem can put you in a place where you marry somebody because at least your children will look fine. We call it everything else but low self-esteem because an average person have not been able to diagnose it properly.
You see, we must understand that this is one of the things I'm trying to pass across.
There's a concept called the concept of fatality. It's the concept of what will be will be, that God is the one who determines everything ultimately. Freedom? Yes, it's a very dangerous concept. And sometimes we share a bit of that perspective where we believe that whatever becomes my life of blah blah blah, it was God's design. I can tell you for a fact that you can know deep in your heart that it was not God's design. You've got what you want, God, where life has positioned you. But this is the advice: if you have done that, you just have to stay with your choice. But you can know it for the rest of your life that I could have pursued this dream, I could have gotten better at this. Yeah. I could have knocked this door. I could have built this relationship. I could have followed after this. I could have— but because I felt it's not for my kind.
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