Femi LazarusCEO at Femi Lazarus Consulting

This episode of Declassified explores the conversations many couples need to have.

20 Jun 2026 · 2 min

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1:39

In this excerpt from the Declassified podcast, the hosts discuss the fundamental principles that keep a marriage healthy. They argue that sustained effort and deliberate intentionality are the two non‑negotiable laws for a lasting partnership. The conversation highlights how, after the wedding, many men may mentally check the marriage off as "done" and shift focus to career or other pursuits, which can lead to neglect if not consciously countered. The speakers illustrate practical ways to maintain effort—such as holding hands, offering compliments, and paying attention to a partner’s appearance—emphasizing that without ongoing intentional actions, marital decline becomes a matter of when, not if. The tone is conversational and cautionary, urging listeners to actively nurture their relationship.

Early enough, I mastered that there are things that make marriage work.
Yeah.
Now, one of them is effort. Now, and you know, we have taught this at, you know, several conferences, that when effort ends, marriage is about to end.
Yeah, it's a matter of time.
In fact, the demise of such home is a matter of when, not a matter of if. Effort. Wow. That's— see, and I will try and explain this the best way I can. For a man, after a man is married, something in his head sees it as done, ticks it done. Oh, true. And then he's about to move on to, you know, something else. The next thing, okay, you know, what, what are we building? Is he business. Okay, do we need to expand to, you know, SA? Do we need to, you know, you, you, you, you are thinking. And then somehow, if care is not taken, you can almost become neglecting. Because when we're cutting, you know, I will hold her hands and all those things, help her with her, you know, bag and all those things, you know, look at her face. Ah, baby, you know, this your face, you know, I like this lipstick, you know, good, this your gown, lovely. I would take time to compliment all of those things. But there's a way marriage can be that if we don't maintain intentionality— we have two laws we can't get for making marriage work. The first is intentionality. The second is effort.
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