Biblically Alpha Women

Like, he kind of sometimes waited for me to make decisions. And for me at this point in my life, like, I don't jump into that and make the decision. I'll literally sit there and I'll be like, I'm not doing this with you.

Because you're a feminine woman.

Still created a problem. I still got frustrated, and I still got fiery. And then, you know, frustration in the wrong relationship, it'll just turn into something not good.

But the frustration came was because you were trying to be water, but you had to be fire and you didn't want to be fired. It was just the dude was not showing up.

Yeah.

And I think all she's asking is for him to make decisions.

Yeah.

She said earlier, like, just be chill. Don't get worked up.

Like, just, hey, babe. Sorry. Let me figure out where we're going to go.

Right.

I got to be honest with you. I dropped the ball on this, but I'm going to get us some. I'm going to put some caffeine in you today.

Yeah.

Is it chill?

Here's another thing I encounter in the dating world, especially Christian men. This has been one of the most frustrating and, like, disappointing things for me. I will meet someone, you know, and there might be some interest there, and they'll. They'll start to show themselves, but they won't show the real them. They'll show, like, a peacocked version or like a slightly elevated version, and they'll say things to me that they think I want to hear.

I love the Lord, and I love people that need the Lord.

I'm just tired of being fake. And if I gotta be fake and I can't be real, the Bible says, confess your sin to one another. I love you. I honor you, man. You are like your fruit of the ministry, man.

My favorite. One of my favorite Bible verses right now is First Corinthians 24, 27. I believe that's exactly it. Or 29. And it says, no, I discipline my body as to make it my slave so that after I have preached, I myself might not be disqualified from the prize. And the reason why I like that is because what I've noticed is after I do any sort of ministry is whenever I struggle. The worst is like, when I'm, like, getting hit the hardest. And so it literally says, no, I discipline my body as to make it my slave so that after I have preached, I don't get disqualified. I feel like taking dominion over my flesh has been something that's been so important so that I stop missing out on what God's calling me to do. Especially because in my past with the ministry getting like booted because of like, you know, sexual sin or whatever. Right. So that's why it means a lot to me.

Yeah, that's good. What about you, Lauren?

I like that. I like Matthew 10:20. And in the new living translation, it is for it is not you who will be speaking, it will be the spirit of your father speaking through you.

Timely tonight. Yeah, that's good.

Why, why do I like that?

It takes pressure off.

Yeah, takes the pressure off. It allows me to just accept any feelings of nervousness in the moment and remember that I've done this a thousand times.

And I will, I'll say for myself, like, just talking about what you were hitting on was like, anytime I've ever felt nervous energy or I've ever felt like tense, it's because something great is about to happen. And, and even when, like, I've like, screwed it up, like I went to Lake City one time and talked about my business right when I started my business and I like totally ate crap. It was terrible. There's the worst speech I've ever given my life. And it was in front of like a rotary Club, like 500 high functioning members in the community. And it was terrible. I felt so, so embarrassed.

And they probably should.

But after it, the same day, a dude called me, a doctor called me and like hired me for a big job. And he called me like three or four times. So even though I failed or what I see what it seemed like was a fail, I still got business from it. I still got blessed from it. Yeah. And then I've never, like every time after that that I've ever talked about my business. I've just learned to mix my, my ministry and my faith because there's power in talking about or being Holy Spirit led. So when I talk about my vision for my business now, it's, it's bigger than just making money. And back then it was probably just surviving, you know, making money.

So, bro, that's how it was at your ribbon cutting in. It was awesome, bro. This. The. The radio people literally came into his office and we were sitting there talking and they were like, hey, can we talk to you for a second? And I don't know if I'm making this up, but did you say, well, whatever you got to say to me, you can say in front of them?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he said that. So then the radio people are just like, yeah, yeah, no, we just want to, we want to do your story we feel like it aligns with, like, our CEO's vision of everything and whatever. And it was because you put ministry before the business or mixed it together.

And I think my story at their, like, radio station, I brought Suzanne Rossignol with me.

Let's go, man. That's so sick. Isn't that awesome?

Yeah, that's cool.

I feel like this needs to be in the podcast, bro.

We can put this in the podcast.

Yeah, it's already been recording, which is. All right. We're in the podcast.

All right. Well, my. My verse is cast your cares upon me because I care for you. So, you know, life is adversity and a struggle, but the. But working through adversity and struggle and persevering builds character. And we were talking about character today, and, like, man, I really judge somebody off their character. And you can see somebody's character and just dealing with them, especially when it's not favorable for them to be dealing with you at that moment. You can just see somebody's character when you know it hurts them to do the right thing, but they still do the right thing. But. But God says, like, this per. This. These trials and this adversity is what builds perseverance. And this perseverance builds character, and your character cannot be shaken. So when we're going through things, we're instead of internalizing it like we do, casting your cares upon God in the adversity and. And counting it all joy, because you know that it's building perseverance, which is building character. But you got to cast your cares first. You got to let them go.

And you know what I love about that, bro? Is that you have to actually know God to be able to do that. Because you don't give something that you care about. That's why it says cast your cares. Because even though you're worried about it.

It'S because you care.

You don't give that to just anybody. I love that because it means you have to, like, really love the Lord.

That is good.

Which means you really love the Lord, bro.

Oh, I know. I love the Lord so despite myself.

Well, cool. I'm happy to be here.

Yeah, we didn't. So since we're rolling, we should probably introduce.

Absolutely.

Lauren. Lauren, introduce yourself. What do you do, who you are? Where are you from?

Yeah, so I'm Lauren Peters. Lauren Nicole Peters, Feminine Devotion on Instagram and found you guys through an awesome podcast and became obsessed immediately. I have been teaching femininity work for quite some time, and I've done one on one coaching Courses. I have a big creative background as well. And, yeah, I'm here, you guys.

I'm curious because I want to know, because I never really asked. How was. What was it that really worried you about being on our podcast at first, actually, when you gave. When you gave us some pushback.

I said, I like you guys, but your name has the word horny in it, and I don't want to be associated with that word. I go, and. But. And I know you guys are going to talk about good stuff. I just didn't know what we were going to talk about. You know, since then, I've got to know each of you, like, a little more. I've been listening to some of the episodes, and I've just gotten to the point where, you know, I really love what you guys are talking about. I love what you're doing outside of the podcast, both of you. And I'm like, yeah, let's do this.

And it's funny that that word triggers. Yeah, that. Because it's, like, not a curse. Yeah. Matter of fact, it's a. Like a gift from God, you know, and there's a whole chapter of the Bible dedicated to that. A book of the Bible.

Yeah.

So that's interesting in and of itself, too, because if you open the Bible. Yeah. It said in the beginning, there is God, there was God. And if you believe that there was God and God created everything and you're not formed out of, you know, a big bang. Yeah. Or snot bubble or whatever, you believe that everything in the Bible.

Snot bubble.

Hold on.

I used to hear my dad say that you're not going for this. So that's G, Rob. That's G Rob right there.

That was good, bro.

So if you believe that the Bible is 100% legitimate, and why wouldn't you believe it if you really studied it? For those that have eyes to see and ears to hear, you believe everything in that Bible. So, man, there's a lot of stuff in there we don't talk about.

Oh, Yeah.

I say 95% of the stuff in the Bible we don't talk about because it. I don't know. Why. Why don't we talk about? I think.

I think it's interesting, bro, that the word horny triggers a lot of Christians, because you're not the first one.

Yeah.

Not the only one.

It didn't trigger me. Okay. At the time, I was in a church community. I'm still kind of in the community. Love that community. But I had. I've had to temporarily move away for Family reasons at the time. It's just you got to consider, depending on the community you're in, what, what you're doing online, you got to consider who's watching. And not necessarily from a fear based place. I'm not about that. But from a place of like, you know, who is around me, who am I influencing? If I've got children around me and their parents are watching and, you know, something like the word horny pops up. It's just something that I had to consider. I wasn't like, you know, oh, that's, that's gonna be a, a podcast about things I shouldn't be talking about. No, it's just one more of a consideration point.

Yeah.

How old are the kids?

You're talking about high school, junior high.

Wouldn't it be good for a Christian to lead them to that conversation before the world does?

Oh, 100. And I imagine, you know, the church, friends, family has already done that at that point.

Yeah, See that? Yeah, exactly.

That's in our church. They 100 have.

Yeah, that's awesome. Because I feel like the word horny is, let's just not say triggered, let's say frowned upon. Because I feel like that's a more accurate statement. Wouldn't you agree? Like, it's more frowned upon. People hear that word and they're like.

Oh, yeah, I'd say a lot as Christians. I don't want to touch that.

So I want. And it's interesting that they are like, that word is so frowned upon in the church. But the church has not a better marriage success rate than like the world. So it's like, maybe we need to stop getting triggered by that word and start figuring out maybe we need to be implementing it into relationships and teaching it out of like a. Not a fear based. Because I feel like sex is taught out of fear. I don't know. What do you think? I feel like, I feel like when you get taught about sex in church, first and foremost is taught in fear. And I almost feel like we begin to associate it. Like when you smack a dog with your hand, they associate it with pain without you even trying. You go to like pet them and love them, but they're like, so I almost feel like that's why we grow up feeling what we feel about, like being intimate.

Yeah. Yeah. I love history. I'm not a historian, I'm not a pastor or a theologian. But what I do know is that when the church came to America, it was out of a protest of what was happening in Europe. Right. And Protestants at the Time it was just a part of society and the religion to sort of like ignore the body, consider the body as flesh, fleshly desires, fleshly thoughts. A lot of people taking certain parts of the Bible really literal and applying the word, the flesh to everything about the body. And so what started to develop in America, from what I've seen, is this over emphasis on the mind and a de. Emphasis and, and making the body less important and actually demonizing the body, the human body. And you know, we've got other scriptures that say the body is the temple that we need to take care of. We've got scriptures that say that Holy Spirit just full operates through our heart. In our heart is our body. It's part of our body. And so what I see in a lot of Christians is a separation and a disassociation from their body. The temple, it is the intelligence that exists inside of it. And so you are going to get people that are afraid of the body, that are afraid of. Of, you know, of these, I guess, more primal parts of being a human. Right?

Like I'm the horny side. That's what you're trying to say, the horny side.

Well, no, there's two. There's primal, right? There's like the killer side, right? Like, I don't even demonize the killer side. So what in my work, what I have loved, is to look at this entire spectrum of what it means to be a human and not necessarily going right to demonizing it just because there's something in the Bible that says it's not good. But I was like, I'm in a constant inquiry about these parts that most Christians are afraid to talk about, like horniness, sexual desires, the primary primality. Is that. Is that what I'm supposed to say? The more animalistic parts of us and just being an inquiry. And I'm like, okay, what's good about this? What could we do with this?

I think even secularly, like, people are starting to talk about just.

The more.

Primal parts of, especially in men. Like a lot of men are speaking to men about. And I hear Jordan Peterson recently, he's talking about man being a dangerous man. And you should be a dangerous man. You should be able to defend your family and you should have the ability to do harm to another human being. And like Solomon, the wisest king, wisest leader, talked a lot about just a season. There's a season to kill, there's a season to heal. So there's a season for everything. But how can you kill if you don't have or if you demonize that part of your soul, if you watered.

It down so hard.

Right. And I think a lot of that, what we hear is just these soft Christians who are physically soft, who are like, they want a scripture to back up why they keep. Can't get off the couch or why they can't put down a donut. And it's like, man, how are you going to lead your family well if you can't lead yourself? Well, I don't want to follow somebody that can't lead themselves well, that doesn't have any discipline at the dinner table. And, you know, that might hurt as people are sensitive to that. You know, even me saying, I'm like.

Oh, I'm gonna get flack for.

Oh, I'm catch flack for it. I don't care.

Yeah.

It's just interesting that you say that as I'm eating a cookie. And it's a healthy cookie, though. The healthy cookies.

I don't know how healthy that really is.

No, but, bro, I agree with you, man. I feel like that's what's happening right now. It's like, because even this podcast, Holy and Horny, we could make it to. We could direct it to a place where it's, like, making an excuse for it almost. But we're not choosing to do that. Just like people make an excuse for, well, I'm just lazy. I don't want to try and, like, grow. It's like, no, no, let's just have an open dialog of, like, what it actually looks like. An open mind. Maybe, like, there is some truth to this. Maybe some of the things that I feel, God didn't put them in me to curse me, you know, like, even depression. It's like, if God's allowing you to experience depression, it's because he's trying to tell you that something is not lined up right now in your life. So it's not to, like, kill you. It's to help you move out of misalignment into alignment. Right. So it's like, everything that God's given us is good, and he will use it for our good. It's the enemy that tries to shift the narrative and then make us, like, use all these things as, like, something terribly bad, like ADHD or add, whatever it is that, like, Steve has. It's like. It's like his superpower because he gets to do so many different things now while so many people are in bondage mentally because they feel like, well, this is what's wrong with me, not my gift. I think everything Is gift, right?

And I think people just utilize. Use words like that to curse themselves to get sympathy a lot of times, like, you know, I got this French bulldog. Where's Doke at? This is. This is an interesting story. So I got this beautiful French bulldog. Matter of fact, I didn't even. I wasn't really fond of French bulldogs because I never experienced them until I started spending a lot of time in Texas. And Frank has a black French bulldog who's a little undersized in my big Malinois.

Okay, bro, A little undersized.

But Doug's a puppy, so. And I got a big, athletic Belgian Malinois who's the best dog I've ever had. Runs how many ever miles I want to run just super rides in the bed of the truck. Just wants to just down for whatever. And then I'm like, but Frank's little French bulldog is tough. It's out in the snow in the winter. It's high energy. It's. It wrestles with other dogs. Just a tough has a lot of personality. So I'm like, and I really want a French bulldog just to have kind of a lap dog that I can kind of handle differently with a different personality. And so I was praying about one, but then. And then I was looking for them, but they're like 5,000 bucks. I'm like, man, I do not want to spend $5,000 for a dog. And so last Saturday, I was working in Lake City doing a big pressure washing job, and I went to lunch late, and right by the place I was eating lunch, there was a truck that said french bulldogs for sale. I'm like, man, I'm. I'm not gonna buy a bulldog out of the back of some dude's truck and not know what I'm getting. And the dude's like, man, I got papers and sold them to me for, like, a really good price with papers. And since I've had him, I've had so many women tell me, oh, they're. They're allergic to grass. You can't put them in the grass. You can't do this. They can't swim. They can't do all these things. And so, like, I'm testing all these things because I see tanks, dogs. Frank's dog Tank.

My dog became a running dog. Man, that thing puts. He puts some miles in. He's not. He's not crippled to a label. And that's. That's what you're getting at, right?

Right? Yeah, they're. They're trying to put labels on my Dog. So. And they were trying to do this at my, you know, party that I was having at my house, my new house that I just bought. They were trying to give me a hard time about the way I, like, train my dogs. And the girl that was trying to give me a hard time has already told me in the past that her dog chews the door down, beats the door down. Her French bulldogs are terrible. You come train my dogs? And she's trying to say, oh, like, you're too rough with your dog. Like, I'm like, what do you mean? I'm too. Like, well, you shouldn't have him outside wrestling around with other dog. I'm like, you shouldn't tell me how to raise my dog. Like, look at girl Jones owns my mali wall. That's fruit. You see the fruit in her? Like, she'll sit, stay plots. Like she knows all German command. She's on point. I'm like, my dog loves to swim. And she's like, nah, they can't swim. I'm like, watch him. He went for a swim, and he loved it. Matter of fact, he swims every day.

He swims every day?

For real? Not always due to his own will.

Yeah.

Oh, my God. Whenever I got to Florida, the first thing he did whenever I saw his dog, he was like, bro, you want to see his favorite trick? Like, yeah, bro. Next, you know, Duke is out there swimming or doke.

Hey, it's like an ice bath. Like, it really is not comfortable while you're doing it, but you feel so much better after you get an ice bath.

Yeah.

That's how Doug feels about the swimming pool.

Yeah.

You guys need to do an episode on training dogs.

Oh, we should.

And how it's similar to relating with people.

Yeah.

Oof.

Positive reinforcement.

That's so true, bro. And then send it to that person that was trying to teach you how to raise your dog, bro.

Right. You ain't lying.

What was. I know there was a point where you brought up that story to. To wrap up what Something that she was saying and to highlight it. I know there was.

Yeah. There's definitely a reason why I went down that rabbit hole.

It's a great story, but there was a reason for it.

How do we get back to that, Frank?

Oh, man.

There was something I did want to say.

Yeah, Labels. That's what it was. Oh, yeah, yeah. That we. We start labeling things bad, and then we treat it as such.

Yeah. Yeah. I love that you said that, because at some point, Frank, you mentioned bunch of Christians just, like, stuck and I listened to your podcast episode with Steve yesterday, and one thing that was so awesome and what your testimony highlighted for me was millions of Christians being so ripe for this opportunity to awaken even more. So there's like an awakening happening for non Christians, but also actual Christians, right, who've been really shut down, who were never educated on their gifts, who were never educated on, you know, the body Temple. And so, like, when I think about this awakening, it has me thinking about as we are awakening together as a church, we have to take this mindset of not automatically demonizing something that we don't know anything about. And one of those things, and you guys bring this to your podcast, is the word horny, the experience of your desires, the, the more animalistic or, you know, amygdala, part of the brain based behaviors, mammalian parts of the brain based behaviors, and just being an inquiry, being curious about those things rather than saying, nope, I'm not, I'm not going to look into that. I'm not going to learn that about myself. And then the last thing I want to say, I love that you mentioned Jordan Peterson, because when he started talking about the most dangerous man in the room, knows that he could go all the way, but he chooses not to because he's been there before and he knows the destruction that could, could be created, but he always chooses love.

Meekness.

That's really good. Yeah, that's, that's what we talked about last episode. Biblical Alpha. That sounds like a biblical alpha. It's like, you know what the outcome could be, but you know the consequences of it too. And you know that your desires are leading you there, but you're so in control and empowered that you're able to make a choice based off of your commitments, not your feelings.

I, I know what going to the edge looks like for a woman, but I'm really curious, what, what does that journey look like for a guy to.

Find the edge, going to the edge?

Well, like knowing how dangerous you could be, but having being taught your whole life that you're not supposed to go over there. Right. Like we talked about.

I was gonna say, yeah, you probably got some.

Well, my answer might be different than yours, but I live beyond the edge. Like growing up and, and I got three older brothers and my dad played professional baseball. He's a coach. And we had a bunch of kids in our neighborhood and, and we were in a small town in Florida, Wakulla county, where, man, kids weren't kids, weren't afraid to fist fight and, and wrestle and we played tackle football. Every day. So just the aggressive. The way we played was aggressive and physical, and it made, you know, us better and it also made us bond more. And then, you know, we. We were in wrestling in middle school, and my son's in wrestling now, and. And I think wrestling and physical athletics are like, a great way to teach you how to be physical under a whistle and do it, like, properly. And also it's humbling because you realize if you never fought and you have one fight against somebody that you should beat easily. Men like to think that they're Mike Tyson. Like, they don't see themselves throwing the punch as they threw a punch. They see themselves as like, man, I'm Mike Tight, I'm Floyd Mayweather, I'm. I'm bad. Until you get in there with somebody badder and you realize, man, I'm not as bad as I thought I was. There's always someone badder out there. But as you hone that skill in, you get a respect for that skill and you get a respect for other men. And, you know, that's a good way to teach young men athletics. Yeah. And now we just cuddle and baby our kids so much and shelter them that they're not doing these physical things. A lot of them aren't. And it just puts them in a bad, like, bad predicament down the road because they're easily foreseen as a target, especially if they walk the path that I've walked in some really, you know, terrible places. They're a victim. Yeah. And, you know, their parents are to blame for that. And a lot of it's out of their own good. Their parents, like, have a good agenda and protecting, it's out of love, but they're doing more harm than they are good. That's, like, why I'm like, like my dogs. I'm tough on my dogs, but out of love, like, I want them to be well rounded because I train, I train them to do so. They're one of my dogs, a working dog. So it's like, if she saw, how's she gonna protect me? Or. Or her next owner or what? How's she gonna protect that if she has never been.

Yeah.

Under the gun in a. In that kind of tent situation. So same thing with kids.

Like, I feel like protection doesn't create power, but power creates protection because when you protect someone so much, it. It kills any ability to create any level of power, like, any of it in any area. Like, if you never step out and you protect yourself from, like, rejection in relationships, you've Got no power in relationships, if you never step out to pray for an individual on the streets, you'll never operate in prophetic or healing power. Like, protection doesn't. Doesn't give you power, and that's what a lot of people do. But I think as an adult, you do have a choice to make, right? Because my story is different than yours. But at, like, 19 years old, 20, maybe 21, that's when I chose that I wanted to, like, become powerful. So I joined. I joined an MMA gym, and I started doing Muay Thai, and I started doing Jiu jitsu. And what you said was a rude awakening, and it was true. Like, I thought I was like. Because I had one, like, a couple little, like, scuffles here and there due to sports or whatever, right? I thought I was a bad dude. I knew that I felt like I could be bad if I needed to be. And this is what the problem is, is that most men walk around thinking that, like, that, man, I could really do some damage if I needed to. If, like, push came to shove, I know I'd show up. No, no, you won't know. You won't. Especially against somebody who knows what the heck they're doing. Because there was this young little Asian kid that. That just destroyed me, right? And I was like, what the crap? And then next thing you know, I start sharpening and honing in that skill for two, three years. And then dudes start walking into the gym that if I ran into the street, I'd be afraid of. But then it's like I start piecing them apart. Not together, piecing them apart real fast. That it's like, okay, there's a skill to this. And so what started to happen was I remember there was a dude that I was, like, choking out, and he just started, like, convulsing. And that's when I realized, like, dude, this stuff is, like, really, really dangerous. Because at first it was just like, a sport. And when you go out into, like, the world, you have, like, Guy was saying, you have a sense of respect for everyone because you just don't know. You don't. You're not scared of them, but you respect them, right? And you also don't ever, like, look for it. I feel like, I don't know, you just move differently. Like, I. I remember always being like, man, if something goes down, whatever, before I started fighting. And then when I learned how to become a dangerous man, what ended up happening was I'm, like, going out looking how to, like, if something happens, how can I just Diffuse it. Like, I don't want to. I don't want to. So it's an interesting experience for sure.

But and, and we are an anomaly where we're different than most men today. Like, most men are just, they, you know, it's a lot of talk, but it's not a lot of action.

Yeah.

And it's a lot like what we experience at the gym.

Yeah.

You know, today. And it's a lot of men's talk comes from a place of insecurity and it's like trying to like portray themselves as dangerous or, or something. And it's because they're really not. And it's like cheesy and it's like, you know, as like men that are dangerous happened have been in some bad situations, lived in just, you know, violence.

You especially, bro.

We. I still like my number one love is completing men, helping men become a better version of themselves than competing. I can't stand like competitive dudes and I can compete with the best of them at everything. And, and if it's, if we're on an even playing playing field and they can really play whatever they're playing really well, it's a good. Then I love the competition if it comes from a fun place. But I hate dudes that just want to like one up, one up somebody or something like that because yeah, it goes back to man. There's always someone batter. Be humble, man. Humble gets you a lot. People love a big.

Yeah.

Soft teddy bear. People love a physical person that makes people around them better and is humble and, you know, that's a beautiful thing.

They can experience because I mean, what good is power if people are like, just afraid of you all the time.

Right.

That's what you're saying is like they can experience that teddy bear or they can experience like the class clown because you can crack jokes and it's just like, I don't know, I. It almost just feels like you own the room. Like, if I want everyone to laugh, we're going to laugh. If I want everyone to feel safe, you're going to feel safe. If I want to take this deep, we're going to go deep.

Like. But Lauren, I'm more interested in hearing what your experience is dating these men out here and what, what you've run into. Because I know that you're high quality.

Yeah.

And you're, you know, beautiful. Obviously you're beautiful. And you've, you're single, which blows my mind because of the level of nurturing that I know you have just from just the Way I see you, honestly, I put you on a pedestal for the way that you carry yourself. And what comes out of your mouth is measured. You're a rib. You're a rib. And explain what a rib is real quick.

Yeah, well, you explain what a rib is, Lauren.

Well, thank you. I feel so. I feel so warm inside a rib. You know, in the Bible, Eve was taken from Adam's rib and she was considered the completion of creation. At that point, she was his help meet, which, you know, we can go and look up some definitions of that. I think some people say help mate, but I don't think that's the actual word. I think it's helped meet. Maybe we do have to look that up. But she was Adam's helper. She was specifically made for him. She appeared after he had done the work that God gave him to name all the things and care for the animals. And then, yeah, she carried out the rest of the plans. As we know.

There's a whole sermon and podcast episode on what you just said on God gave her to Adam after he accomplished the work that he was given.

So I spent their year in the book of Genesis 20:22, and I kept going over that story, like, so many times. I love the book of Genesis. Like, if you don't read any other book in the Bible, which it's recommended, you do read all the other ones. The book of Genesis has, to me, literally every spiritual principle that you would ever read throughout the rest of the Bible. It's so good.

That's the first time I've heard that, like, of Adam. I. I always hear, like a proverb. Read a proverb a day because that's the easy route out because there's 31 proverbs. Let's just read one a day. And it's wisdom and it's applicable.

It's dumbed down for you. Yeah, it's like our language.

Yeah, yeah. It's kind of stoic. Yeah.

You don't have to really analyze, like, what do you mean by that? It's just direct.

Right.

So it's easy.

So I love. And a lot of people, like, New Testament read, you know, stay in the New, stay in the Gospels. And that's great. But now people just watch Chosen because they never actually read the Bible. So they're like, man, I've learned it.

From, you know, so from abc, the book of Netflix.

But that's the first time I've heard Genesis pointed out. And I really love Genesis too. And I love the Old Testament, man, I gleam a lot of inspiration from stories in the Old Testament, the prophets.

I love the prophets. I love Genesis, too, though. I actually. I have a YouTube video of me sitting down and reading all of Genesis in one sitting. It was like, five hours. It was during. COVID was really bored.

Wow.

But I loved what you said, though, because you're pulling so many, like, really good truths, even just from Genesis. But a rib, I love how even just practically speaking, a rib protects, like, the vital organs. And so I think that that speaks to, like, what a woman's supposed to be for a man or not supposed to be. You know, you can all make your own choices, but what we should strive to be at the end of the day. Right. What are your thoughts on actually protecting, like, a man? Can a woman do that?

Yeah, 100%.

And how.

We'll point out right now the obvious. I'm not married, so I'm going to give what I have so far. But Guy, you asked me a question about dating, and Frank, you just asked me another question, so I'll answer Frank's first. So how can a woman protect. Where I have learned this from is from the Bible. I've learned it from what God has placed in my heart for what I know I want to do for my husband one day. I've been taught through mentors in my church community. I've been taught through, you know, reading other books about this and friends and family who are around me. Amazing married people. So to protect a man, to protect a husband, to protect Adam, you can start with prayer. You can start with your own personal relationship with God, because God will tell you things sometimes that he didn't yet tell your husband. Or maybe he'll tell you things he did tell your husband and he wants you guys to talk about that. There are certain things about a woman that are more sensitive in a man, like our awareness of more details in the environment. We pay attention to more details. We. Our nervous systems are much more sensitive than a man's is. We have this sense of awareness called diffuse awareness. Right? Like, men have that single focus awareness. They've got to go and kill the thing. They got to go do that task. They got to go get their purpose. And women, diffuse awareness. We are naturally paying attention to so much information because if we take this back to ancient times when we're all sitting in a field together, the man is going to find the thing and go and get it, and the woman is going to be gathering all of the resources in the field, and she has to remember where all the resources are. She Also has to remember where her seven children are without having to see them.

Can she remember where my keys are at, please?

Always remember where your keys are at.

Amen.

That's how you know that's your wife. When she knows that's how you know.

She'S a rib bro. If she knows where your keys are at, rib her up.

Well, the girl that cleans my house normally knows where my keys are at. And she's sure.

That is actually one thing that a man looks for in a wife. A woman who pays attention to details like that, who can help him find things like. It sounds funny, but it's true. I'm getting into, like, several different topics, but, yeah, those are some ways I know. And spiritually.

Right.

Like, in my experience, I've seen women around me being much more sensitive to the spiritual realm as well. Whether that's, you know, and I know a lot of men.

I want you. I'm gonna interrupt you real quick because I want you to go on this, but then I also want you to really hit on the practical. How can a woman protect a man, practically speaking? Because I feel like the church does a great time, great job of, like, the women praying for their future husband, praying for the man. But then not a not. There's not. And this is on both ends, men and women. There's not practical steps that they're taking to. Actually, I would say even, like, nowadays, protecting the male figure. Does that make sense?

Yeah. Okay. Okay.

So keep going.

Let's do this. So y' all know what I'm gonna say to finish that out. So I'll go to the practical. Practical. Give me an example. What you think about practical.

Yeah, the other way around.

Yeah. So I would say, for example, I would say, like, speaking life into a man practically. It's okay to pray for him at your quiet time, but are you speaking life into the man?

That's good.

Like, I think that's a very practical thing that. Because, you know, I have coached people to help save their marriages, and they've prayed like crazy for them, but they've never said, I'm proud of you, ma'.

Am.

All your prayers are waiting to be answered. And that I'm proud of you, is going to carry all the power of all your prayers with a practical action. Right? And so that's, like, one thing that I can think of is like, speaking life into a man will protect him vitally. Because I know, you know, what this feels like, and I know what this feels like. It's like, if you love a woman and you're like, man, this woman is awesome. And she says something like, dude, you're incredible, or she compliments you or something. I mean, it boosts you up real quick. And you'll. You'll take on whatever you just took on that week again, just because of that breath of fresh air.

Even as a. Even as a employer, if you tell, like, you catch an employee doing something right, and you're like, man, bro, you get good reviews every time you go out. People love you. Like, man, you're better than I am. Yeah, you're the man, Houston. And Houston goes out on the next job just knowing who he is. And you're gonna get more reviews just by pointing out the good things. Just like we pointed out how beautiful you were. Because, like, some of these, like, red pill things that'll be like, man, don't tell girl.

Don't.

Don't blow her. Blow her head up. Because every other man is. And they get so used to hearing that. But from us, it's a little bit different because we have no agenda. We're just like, man, genuinely beautiful. Yeah. And I'll tell a girl, like, I don't mind even girls I'm trying to. That I'm thinking about dating and seeing if they qualify to date me. I'll tell them, like, you're beautiful. And I'll tell them the strengths, that I'll build them up. Once they earn that. Once they earn that level of me being able to speak into them, how.

Do they earn it?

By being a rib in an early relationship. Yeah. And when I say, just helping guide me, making me better. Yeah.

Yeah. Essentially.

Yeah. Well, that's one of them. Speak life. But sometimes, you know, it's not just speaking life, but you've got to do it from a place in your heart where you're, like, really genuine about it.

Absolutely.

For some people, you might have to fake it till you make it right. Because when you think about marriages that are on the rocks, to say something genuinely kind to the other person can sometimes feel like death or, like. Like you're just so hardened that to say something like that, it almost feels impossible.

That makes sense.

Yeah. Unless you get, like, really practical. Because I feel like you could just find one thing. Because that's what I tell them to do. Like, just, dude, find the smallest thing.

Yeah.

And sometimes it's. Well, without them helping me financially, I would not be living where I'm living, or without them, I would not have kids. And so it's like. Yeah, but you're right. Sometimes it can Be deathly hard. Keep going.

That's good. Another one, I would say for women is to take care of yourself. And if there's a part of a woman that has kind of given up on exercising and making sure that she's healthy eating right, I know that, you know, when a woman is taking care of herself, there's a new type of inspiration that just comes out of her and it falls onto the man and the man just feels inspired in a new way. So, you know, exercising, getting your nails done if you want. That's not all women. I haven't gotten my nails done in two years, so. And I feel amazing. But, you know, it's these little things that. That make you kind of fall in love with yourself again as a woman. I would say that that would be one of them. Another practical thing could be this. Like, it's funny because, like, nobody's ever asked me this before, but I do these things. So I'm. I've never had to like, write it down.

You know, I'll say another one that I think is huge and then I think it'd be cool if you said one and then we can all share one.

Yeah.

I think believing in him would be protecting his vital organs.

Well, so all the things you're mentioning, they're coming from a place in the heart that there has to be a heart posture and a heart readiness, and then these things will naturally happen. So totally. Like believing in someone, you can't do that until your heart is right. But. Yeah, I agree totally.

Yeah. No, I. You're. You're 100, right? Like, that's why they never teach. Well, some people teach you how to find the one, but usually it's how to become the one. And that's what it needs to be focused on. Like, the Bible also gives like very few verses on finding a spouse, but it gives you a ton on becoming like the greatest version of yourself. And so it's like even God is saying, like, bro, focus on you becoming you, because if I don't believe in myself, I can't believe in you. That's what projection is. That's how people project.

Yeah.

So it's like if a woman's heart isn't healthy and she doesn't even believe in herself, bro. And that's where women need to look for this in men and men need to look for this in women. Like, if she doesn't have self belief, I can't expect it out of her for me ever, because there's going to.

Be no overflow and it's not attractive.

It's not attractive at all.

No. And that's what I said earlier, is like a woman that helps me become better. And how do you help somebody become, become better? Become who they're called to be. You hold them accountable. But you got to be tactful when holding somebody accountable. Because there's a lot of ways, and I'm bad about this with my guys is I just let it fly. Like, bro, you know, I can reward well, but I can also tell you about yourself and not the best manner. And I'm not tactful about that. But I believe when I believe to become the best version of myself. I pay money for people to hold me accountable. So like I go to masterminds and I get naked. Not physically, but I lay everything out there and I say, give me the smoke. Yeah, as long as, as long as you're willing to accept it too. Like, go ahead and let me like, know where I'm not showing up. Let me know my blind spots. And that's what, that's my like defense to my guys when I'm getting on their tail. I'm like, I pay money for this and I'm paying you to catch his smoke. So take it, take it, take it with value.

Yeah. To give, to give a loving feedback about your blind spots. Like, you also have to have a certain level of confidence even to communicate something like that. Right. Like, you cannot be in people pleasing.

Yeah.

You can't be putting Guy Jones on a pedestal. Like, you just got to know who you are. You got to feel safe with your person. And then you've got to know that you can say stuff like that and timing is right. Right. You got to know the timing, you got to know the approach. Because as strong as you guys are, like sometimes you get your feelings hurt, you know, we gotta approach you, right? And that's a whole thing in, in and of itself, right? Like you can usually say anything to a man, but you gotta approach them right? And at the right time.

Yeah, it's. It's not what you say, it's how you say it. It's. It's like a lot of dudes aren't pissed off that women are independent women, but what really pisses them off is the attitude that you say, I'm an independent woman. Right? Like, it's like, dude, that's just a turn off. It doesn't even piss me off. It's just annoying. It's just like, why are you even doing that?

It's just unattractive.

It's very unattractive.

And if you act like that, like around me, like you know it all. And I got Pete, you know, awesome women that are professional, that you know are good at their jobs, that if I need them to do something, like sell a house or something, I'm gonna hit you up because I know you know that market and you can provide value and, and, but sometimes in other areas of their life that comes off kind of masculine and so unattractive.

I got a couple.

Go ahead.

I'm sorry I've cut you off, but I got a couple. One of them. To protect your man is to bring a lightness and a playfulness. Because like a lot of times I, I think about you guys going out into the world and being in war and like battle you, like came here to do. And then when you get home, it's like something gets to break. That kind of like energy.

Amen.

That's good.

Amen.

Yeah, it's like playfulness, lightness, touch, right? Like, like when your man walks in from a day at work, he's gotta have his time to decompress, greet him. And then when you get a chance to connect, like, just like bring that, bring that oasis, that, like peace, that play, that radiance, energy. And you know, nobody can be perfect, but that's essentially. I know, I know that melting a man is like one of the easiest things to do when you just know how to do it.

Amen.

Amen.

You got me and Frank ready to bust out some of our one liners.

You got men melting, Melting. Yeah. No, it's true, it's true. I think when most men say, like, man, I just want to come home and I want her to be my piece, I think that's what they're talking about right there. It's like, man, if I come home and I've been dealing with a whole bunch of stuff and then I got to deal with like nothing but problems at the door again. And a frustrated wife that gets frustrated with anything and everything and that is always annoyed. And that is all like, no, thank you. And then if, especially if you're touched out, you're just saying, now I can't even like, grab your ass.

I've never dealt with that. I won't deal with that. So, yeah, it's like. And I've dated girls that are like, high energy before. I've dated a girl that's high energy. And like, I'd be worn out and get home and she'd have, like, want me to do this, this, this. I'm like, just give me a minute too. Like, yeah, you're doing too much. And she would be doing a lot. And I'm appreciative you're cleaning, you're doing my laundry, or get. You're like, I love you for that, but don't require me to do all this because I have no problem doing that stuff if you catch me on a Saturday or Sunday or. But right now I'm trying to catch my second wind and trying to find some. Like, right now I need a nurturing spirit. I don't need more energy, you know, wired up energy around me.

Yeah, I love the nurturing part. And for any women that might be listening, there's a line between nurturing and mothering. And I think a lot of women will default to the mothering. And there's nothing that will turn a man off so quickly or get him to be more defensive than when we're in mothering mode. So, like, if you're with a man, like a man man, he will never want to be mothered. And so for a woman, for the practicality of how to protect your man, remember your role as his partner and his love and his nurturer and not his mom. Because most men already have a mom or have had one at some point, and that's just not your role.

And that's like, this is some of the best. And we've done probably 10 podcasts now or close to it, and this is some of the best feedback.

Yeah.

That we've gotten so far. Just best practical.

And it's cool that it's like, it's a beautiful woman that's intelligent, that is like, independent, loves the Lord.

And why do you have to say that, though?

Because a fresh and fit podcast that they just bring on only fan girls.

Is that the only one? I feel like every.

Whatever. Podcast only fan girls.

Like, if you mix like some a man's podcast and you bring in a guest female, it's like, she is never quality. Somebody qualified. Good word.

She's not. So this is like, really, really refreshing. And I think that. And you probably realize this, but even you just being who you are right now is probably helping a lot of men's hearts healing and have some level of hope that, oh, wow, not all women are the same. There are women that operate this way, that think this way, that believe this way. Doesn't mean that there's women that are perfect, just like there's no men that are perfect. But as long as you're walking in, like this level of a mindset and this kind of a mindset, I just feel like you're going to be okay.

And man, this is biblical. So if you look at the churches and I go to awesome church, it's probably 10,000 people that go there and 8,000 of them are women. And a lot of, you know, there's some older, but there's also a lot of young, single, beautiful women that probably think a lot like Lauren does.

Yeah.

So it's like, brother, focus on your relationship with God.

Yeah.

And your relationship with other men. So iron can sharpen iron and hold you accountable. And it's Frank can hold me accountable by being in Texas. And I see him post a story about getting an ice bath at five in the morning. I'm like, ooh, Frank's paying his price. And I'm kind of being lazy this week, man. I hadn't gotten off in the ice bath and you know, and it's not him challenging me, it's not him just being, it's just who he's being. And he's showing me, man, it's possible to work a full time job, take care of your daughter, be a great dad, be present and get in the ice bath at five in the morning. So thanks. And that's just one example. But it's like, that's what men need is good friendship without agenda, without the competition. But man, that I want to see Frank at his very best. I want to see Frank this year make more money than he's ever made because I know he's a good steward. I want him see him in the best relationship that he's ever been because I want to be an uncle, an uncle again. I want to see him, I just want to see him explode because I love Frank and I want the best for Frank. And when Frank gets better, it makes Guy Jones better.

And when Guy Jones gets better, it makes Frank better, bro.

And when we get better Tomorrow we got 40 men over here that are about to get again better. So. And then Friday we got a thousand kids at a stadium after we go into a prison and bring hope to the hopeless.

Amen.

You want to know what we're doing with our business money and our time and treasures. We're out here seeking life change in other men salvations in high school students. We're bringing hope into prisons and we're not doing that for any kind of glory. We're doing it because, man, there's a purpose and a passion that comes with it that's outside of feeding your flesh.

Amen. You know why we're doing it because of what you said earlier in Genesis, after Adam was done doing the work that God gave him, that's when Eve came. We're focused on doing what God's given us. Like, that's what we're focused on doing. And God gives it to you in burdens, man. Like, you carry a burden for something. Like, you know, you're doing kingdom. When you carry a burden, you don't got a burden, bro. You're not doing anything for the kingdom. Even if you're tithing, you're just like, okay, you're just tithing, but you're not really doing kingdom. That's an easy cop out. You make good money, you tithe. It's like, where's your burden, bro? Like, what's the burden that you carry? Right. So, yeah, I just think it's really interesting that people are scared of a podcast called Holy and Horny. And there's probably more fire in this one episode. And I mean, holy spirit fire.

But they're not scared of these only fan chicks and. And God, and they're not scared of their kids.

And they're all subscribed to it too.

Right?

That's good. That's. That's what kind of world we live in.

Yeah. Yeah, it's wild. So that was really. That was really refreshing.

Yeah. Yeah. And there's something I heard the other day that there's hot women and there's beautiful women, and men know what to do with a hot woman, but not a man knows what to do with a beautiful woman. So to answer your question, guy, I am still single. I. I told you a while back, I can. The only reason I can assume I'm single is because it's just not time yet. Haven't met the right person, and God has a specific person set aside for me. That's just what I choose to believe. You know what it's been like dating. I'm not like a dater. I'm not on dating apps. I was in that church. I dated a couple. One Couple people in the church. And they just. They were great guys, but they just weren't a fit. Right. Like, we would get together the last one in month three. It was just like. Stuff just started to get like. I know you guys know what I'm talking about.

It wasn't light. It wasn't fun.

It wasn't. It was just weird. And it was like personality clashes and like, I don't. I learned that we didn't even really like each other as people. Right? Like, I'm Fiery. I'm. I'm spicy. Like, I'm really watery right now because I'm in the presence of two masculine men. But, like, there's a lot of days where I'm made of fire, too. And I've had to learn. I've had to learn what you say.

That's a good topic to cover. Like, the elements on how you can be fire one moment and you can be water the next.

Yeah, I've learned how. I've had to learn, and I'm still learning how to turn that fire into, like, grace. So.

Okay, you got Jones.

Okay. Suzanne, Remember? Yeah, that's. Yeah.

Stop saying names.

That's a good. That's a good. That's a good.

Oh, that's a compliment.

Yeah, that's a compliment.

Beautiful.

Yeah, I was really fiery, and my more fiery arts just. I could. I would see him, like, literally, like, twitch sometimes. He's. And then some parts about him were just, like, a little too high strung for me. Like, I like dudes who are chill. Like, just chill. Like, and if a problem arises, they're just like, yeah, we'll deal with it. You know, like, that's the kind of person that I need to end up with because that's, you know, like, that's just what I value. And so these. These guys, just not a fit. And then at the same time, a lot of them.

Could you tell in the beginning of dating them, though? Like, before you guys even went out on a date, just from observing them in church?

Oh, well, so this guy, he. I went to church for two years, and so did he. And we never saw each other in that two years. And then one day, I was singing on stage, Worship. And he just saw me for the first time, and he's like, what is that? He went and found me on Instagram, said hi, and I was like, oh, that was sweet. And then ran into him at an event. A week later, he asked me out, which I really appreciated because you guys say I'm beautiful. I think I'm beautiful. But specifically me. My whole life, I have not experienced men approaching me or asking me out. Like, for real. Like, my whole life.

Because these dudes are scary, maybe.

And I. I know there's nothing wrong with me.

For sure.

Where's your beta button? Beta.

We need one. We're. We're actually in the Florida studio right now. This is the first time that Frank's come here and we've shot together.

Yeah. This is sick.

This isn't the first time he's come to Florida, but This is the first time we've had this set up and shot, period. Together.

Together.

Yeah, I like it too, bro.

Me too. I can't wait to shoot out by the pool.

That's gonna be sick, bro.

Well, I forgot what I was talking about.

But he approached you?

Yeah, he approached me. I was like, that is cool. Like, that makes it so easy for me.

What was the what? How do you approach you?

So my friends were all texting me, like, oh, he's here. It was the event. He's here. And I'm like, okay, cool. And I'm like, what are you guys talking about? You know, I'm like driving there on my way. And they're like, oh, we're just chilling. We're gonna have him sit next to us. And I'm like, oh, okay. And I get there and they're all like, rallying him around. And I'm like, you guys, I'm not a teenager. Like, you need to stop doing this. And then I turn around and they're all whispering, like, all 15 of them. They put him next to me. It's so embarrassing. And I'm like, hi. And he's like, hey. Hi. And we sit next to each other. It's our church. Like super awesome sermons. Like, this was a business event, a biblical business event. And so they were just spitting fire on stage the whole time. And, you know, we'd look at each other. Haha. That was so funny, wasn't it? Huh? And then at the end, he followed me out. We were around all my friends again, and he pretty much asked in front of my friends, like, hey, can I walk you to your car? And I'm like, yeah. He walked me in my car and he asked me out to dinner that night. And I was like, yeah, sounds good. And it made it easy because he knew my friends and he'd already said hi on Instagram and like, complimented me. Yeah. So I said, yeah, I'll go out to dinner with you. And then first date. I kind of figured it out, first date, that we might not have been a fit. But like, I do this. This is one of my downfalls. I do this thing, I'll be dating a guy. And like, in the beginning, I just. I'm so appreciative. So appreciative that, like, I'll appreciate everything. And he's sitting there, God bless his heart, he's sitting there trying to find like a coffee shop for us to go to. And he's like holding his phone. He's like, shake.

Oh no.

He's so nervous. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, he cares so much. That's so cute. I'm like, wow. I actually like, this is a good dude. And then from then on out, it's just that energy just ended up being one of the reasons why it didn't work out.

Yeah.

And that goes back to us talking about parents coddling their kids too much right there. They're never, ever outside their comfort zone. Yeah. So him being in the presence of a beautiful woman and having a lead, he's not equipped. He's never been. He's never had to be a leader.

He's never had to, like, be prepared. That's just preparation, honestly.

But you should be able to punt and move in a different direction. Yeah. And have fun.

There's a 20 minute way.

Create experience.

Exactly. There's a 20 minute wait. Hey, where do you want to go?

Right?

Hey, there's a 20 minute wait. Hey, sweetheart, let's go sit over here at this bar real quick. Or hey, I just found this other place over here. They're gonna text us anyways. Let's go. Direct. Direct lead. Yeah. He just didn't know that. That's what. That's why you figured it out first date.

Well, so I also learned that he was a middle child and he grew up with a mom and a sister who were very like, like, like making decisions. And then when I learned that, I was like, oh, that makes a lot of sense. Like, he kind of sometimes waited for me to make decisions. And for me at this point in my life, like, I don't jump into that and make the decision. I'll literally sit there and I'll be like, I'm not doing this with you.

Because you're a feminine woman.

Yeah. And then that still created a problem. I still got frustrated and I still got fiery. And then, you know, frustration in the wrong relationship, it'll just turn into something not good. And that's what happened.

But the frustration came was because you were trying to be water, but you had to be fire and you didn't want to be fired. It was just the dude was not showing up. So you're like, yeah, bro, can you just, like, show up?

Right. I would get frustrated.

I don't even think that's that much to ask.

And I think all she's asking is for him to make decisions. Yeah. And she said earlier, like, just be chill. Don't get worked up.

Yeah, babe. Sorry. Let me figure out where we're going to go.

Right.

I gotta be honest with you. I Dropped the ball on this, but I'm going to get us some. I'm going to put some caffeine in you today.

Yeah, chill.

Here's another thing I encounter in the dating world, especially Christian men. This has been one of the most frustrating and, like, disappointing things for me. I will meet someone, you know, and there might be some interest there, and they'll. They'll start to shift, show themselves, but they won't show the real them. They'll show, like, a peacocked version or, like a slightly elevated version. And they'll say things to me that they think I want to hear. And at first, I'm so chill. I give people the benefit of the doubt. I'm like, yeah, that's awesome, whatever. And then, like, just signs start showing, like, that they weren't who they said they were. And so, unfortunately, I've experienced more of that from Christian men than I have when I was dating prior to being Christian. Yeah.

It's because they're trying to be a King David that doesn't exist.

They're trying to be a savage animal.

He was a savage animal, bro.

They're in. In my circles, and you guys say this and I don't. I don't judge anyone who says it, but if I could tell you how many times I've heard a guy say, I'm a man of God, but it covering so much stuff they're not willing to show me. Like, it's so sad. It's. It's. My experience has been so sad.

I like that you said it covers up so many things they're not willing to show me. Does it change the game if they're willing to show you 100?

Right. Like, for me specifically, I'm not looking for a perfect man. Doesn't exist, number one. Number two, I know I'm not perfect. It's just reality. Right. Like, and I know the love of my life, whatever they've got to show. One of the ways to protect is that, like, babe, you. You show me all of it, and I'm gonna love it. And I don't know how I'm gonna love it yet, but, like, I vow to love that. And if you don't show me these things, you didn't give me an opportunity to show you, you know, that level of depth of love, courage.

It's not courage as a man.

Yeah. Like, there are women out there, and I have a lot of amazing, beautiful, single friends who are the same. And they're like, dude, just. Just tell me the truth. Like, give me a chance To. To just see it. And if it's not a fit after that, fine. You know, like, you might see stuff about me where you're like, nah, I can't do that. And I'm okay with that, but let's just be honest with each other, put it out on the table and not on the second date. Obviously, like, do it in a healthy way. But, yeah, I've. I've. I've been. One of my prayers this season has been, God, give me hope for a Christian man again. And he has been. It's been great. And I, you know, again, not looking for a perfect dude, but just, like, show me these little pieces of hope. Because right now, like, to be honest with you guys, like, I'm not looking, like, not. Not interested. I. You know, I want to actually push all of that away right now with just where I am in life, but I'm in, like, a little cocoon. I'm like, God, just show me. Just, like, reveal to me. Give me hope in Christian men again.

That's good.

That's really good. I feel like, you know, what got her, like, a little bit of hope was the Holy and Horny podcast.

100%.

She finally heard two.

I think it was Steve Weatherford's podcast which opened her up to the Holy and Horny podcast. Yeah. Which if somebody gives the time of day when someone. When someone gives the time of day.

Yeah, because this is. I don't know, I just feel like it's one of the first podcasts where, like, you got two dudes saying, I love the Lord, but I'm also a mess. And here's actually some of my messages.

Yeah, there. There are a lot of women out there who. Who would not only love your mess, but want all of it and want more of it and want to shower the love that God anointed them to give to you.

Well, we see. We see a lot of good Christian dude. Like, we got some dogs. And I don't even like saying Christian men, because when I think Christian men, I think weakness now. Soft af. That's what I literally. But then when I think about the men I roll with, the tribe I roll with, I'm like, these are not Christian men. These are men of God. Like, these are. They go out and make it happen, and they're not wanting to get paid for. They're. They're just going out because that's their calling to do those things. And they're so on fire, and. But they're not afraid to say, man, I struggle with this. I struggle with this or show you those things or talk about the worst moments of their life, their marriage.

A lot of times when two people are, like, about to kill each other in relationship, it's not that they don't love each other. It's that they just don't know how Right now. They never learned. They were never modeled. They were never taught.

They were never.

And so, like, when. When you say whether it's a wife or a husband that doesn't deserve the other one, it's just they're freaking ignorant. They're ignorant, they're mad, and they're prideful.

That is true.

And maybe we're leading ourselves so well within this tribe, and we hold ourselves to dating our wives, dating our daughters, showing up, grow in all these areas, and these women are not holding themselves to the same standard. Yeah. In these relationships, there's.

I mean, let's. Let's be honest. Like, there's a huge message nowadays that's going crazy viral for women that it's like, they love it, where it's like, hey, dude, you're accountable for all of it. And you just don't see a lot of women, like, owning their stuff, which is why I love this one.

Coach.

It's actually Steven Lors coach, and she talks about how, like, she'll talk to these women that are just like, well, maybe if he would, like, show up as an actual husband, then I could. Da, da, da. Maybe if he would show up as a leader, then I could X, y, Z. Right. And that she says, do you think when you get to heaven, God's going to be like, hey, how did he show up for you? Or is he going to be like, hey, I gave you this responsibility to be a rib. How did you. He's going to be accountable to his piece. But, sweetheart, how did you respond? How did you respond?

So good. I don't know if you guys heard this yet, but one of my pastors is Pastor Jurgen Matissius. One of his stories that he tells is of how he used to be a terrible husband through Pastor Leanne. It's actually one of my favorite, favorite stories. And the humility that he tells it with and the comedy, because I love him. He gets to the point where he is complaining to God about the wife that God gave him, saying, I don't think this is the right one. I think you gave me the wrong one. La, la, la, la, la. And he gets to the point where he hears God say to him, your wife is. And I'm not going to say this word for Word. Your wife is a product of your husbandry. And he was like, excuse me. Like, he had to take a step back and really reflect on that. And that's not to 100 agree with this whole, you know, worldly man takes 100% responsibility. But there are ways that men have spoken into me that have instantly changed me because of what they said, no matter what kind of state I was in. So. Right. Like, if you take a husband whose wives just completely resigned, she's just nasty every day. She's not working out. She just doesn't care anymore. There's something in her, I imagine, where her feminine spirit has been broken and trampled over, whether it was by the husband or by her life. And it doesn't actually matter what it is, but there's something that has gotten a hold of her that has turned her off in a way where if the husband can work with Holy Spirit, partner with Holy Spirit, say, holy Spirit, teach me how to love this woman so that we can walk together in Jesus Christ. And I imagine Holy Spirit would give him that strategy. Something. Seeing right now is like, you know, you're a husband walking around your house, you're being productive in your house, and your wife is just, like, sitting at the kitchen table, just literally, like, looking catatonic. Like, that's what I'm seeing right now. And then the husband just kind of walking in, the wife getting up and the husband saying, you are the sexiest effing woman I've ever seen in my entire life. And walking away and going about his day and her being so confused and so angry that he just said that, but that he. That he would do that once a day for, like, 90 days straight. What do you think would happen to her?

Yeah, that's. That's humans. I really do believe that, like, whenever. Because you see that with men and women vice versa. It's like, dude, if you actually said that, man, dude, you are an incredible. The most incredible man I could ever imagine. What would that do to a man? Because our words carry power, right? Like, literally. They did a whole study on it, and it shows how words make water molecules shift. Positive ones create beautiful crystallized images. Negative ones create, like, distortion. So then we wonder why when someone says some to you, you're like. Your body goes. Is because you're wired to respond. Like, there's literally. We're like, how much percent water? Our whole body.

70%.

70%.

70 plus.

Yeah. Something crazy. So 70 plus percent of you just shifted in that moment automatically, right? And so that's why I feel like it's so important to, like, yeah, bro, you carry the responsibility, but, sweetie, you carry your responsibility too.

Both do.

Like, you both carry your responsibility at the end of the day, because we're gonna have to answer to how we led the family. Right? But that doesn't mean that God's just gonna go up there and be like, well, he didn't lead well, so you were justified in xyz. I don't think that's what. I don't think that's the case. If not, then all the people who've, like, cheated because they didn't feel desired, then it's like, you're gonna go to heaven, just not have to answer for that. No, like, you're gonna have to be held accountable. And men should hold themselves accountable to show up as a godly man of God that is doing his best to lead. And so should women. Because then when the man starts not showing up in a season, it's almost like there's a front door wide open to just be like, well, then you're allowed to be the nagging wife that Proverbs says, don't be. You're not. You're allowed to, like, freak out a little bit extra more. But the dude just lost his. And the reason why I say this, because I. I work. I've worked with so many people. I've seen so many things. But the dude just lost his mom and his dad in one year and doesn't know how to handle it and navigate it. And now he's getting served papers because he's not leading. Right. So it's kind of like there has to be accountability on both ends.

I'm not.

I'm not trying to say women, y' all take. Y' all take. I'm saying, like, we need to. But I'm saying, before I point out your thorn in your eye, I'm gonna pluck the log out of mine.

Yeah, well, you. You're talking a lot about strategy, but there's a higher level of operating, which is through the spirit, too. Right? Like, coupled with the strategy. And so what I'm seeing when you say that is, like, in a relationship, a certain part of leadership is creating a culture of being led by the spirit. In. In a culture like that, I can see that if one person is failing their side, whether it's the man or the woman, when spirit is the one leading all of that, the person who has more of the spirit makes the decision to love the other person even harder.

No matter what, they break that cycle of Fleshly response.

Yeah, completely. Right. So, like, on the flip side, I watched a podcast maybe a year ago. It was with this woman and man, and they had this incredible love story. And then they got to the point where they just, like, four years in, were, like, this close to a divorce. I think papers were served. But then she. Spirit spoke to her. She didn't know what to do. She started journaling and spending time with God every morning. And she started. Even though he was verbally abusing her. That is completely not okay, obviously, but this was their story. She started treating him as if he was the biggest treasure she's ever been gifted with, to where over the course of the next four months to a year, he had softened. Because she never broke that love that Holy Spirit told her to do. For her, it was an act of obedience at that point, because she didn't want. She didn't know why. She didn't know if he would ever come back to love her. But in that podcast, I saw that they were just, like, the happiest couple. They were more wise as a result, and they had incorporated a culture of being with Holy Spirit.

That's a good word.

It's a really good word.

So how's that. How practically can you.

I feel like, apply.

Having the Holy Spirit operate in your relationship?

Yeah, I feel like what you were saying, Lauren, because I want. I want to hear your response to that also. But I feel like what you were saying is that the way to win is to have the super on the natural. The natural is the strategy. The super is the spirit. The natural is speaking life into them. But if you're trying to do that out of your natural strength, good effing luck.

Right.

When you're all. Exactly. But when you have a word from God, when there's conviction. Right. Then you can move and operate that way.

Right.

Ask your question again, bro.

And then it's like, you know, how do you. A lot of people don't move. And the Holy Spirit. We see that a lot.

And.

But our. Our tribe does.

But they didn't always.

But they didn't always. And it's new to them. A lot of them. But we. It's practical for us.

Like, their marriages had all started before they were Holy Spirit led.

Right.

So now it's like. I guess. I guess that's where it gets interesting, is like, transitioning.

Right.

To go spirit led.

Yeah.

And then I see a lot of these relationships, like, man, I don't want to be in any relationship like that.

That's true. There's so many of those out there right now.

Like, man, I. I love my life.

Me too. Minus the being alone part. I love it sometimes, but sometimes it sucks.

Yeah, well, so is life. But, yeah, I desire. And one of my greatest desires is to have a wife that helps complete me, makes me better. And that also I can serve and do what I'm called to do, which is be fruitful and multiply and take dominion and be a king, priest, prophet, and warrior. So, that being said, I'm not settling for these.

Me either, bro. Me either, bro. And you shouldn't either, Lorna. You're not.

You're not. You're not. You're like us.

Yeah, I'm like, bro, I'm not about to sell. Especially after meeting women that think this way.

And if King David would have seen you in the. The gym, you'd have got the smoke, Lauren.

He would have smoked you down.

And you. You'd want the smoke.

Yeah.

Because King David was a savage animal is a seven animal.

Yeah. No, I'm. I'm at the point where I'm done. I don't care. Don't talk to me like my person is going to come in eventually and. And anything else, just don't.

How is your person going to come in if you don't allow them to.

Talk to you supernaturally? It'll happen. Trust me.

That's what's going to happen. He's going to have super on his natural. He's going to come talk to you, and you're going to be like, no, but he has a word from the Lord, and. And then he's going to be like, all right, you don't want to talk to me right now. I'll come back tomorrow. And he's going to come back tomorrow. You don't want to talk today. I'll see you the next day then.

No, you. You got a good word right now. I am a strong. I'm a tender loving, but I'm a strong woman. Nothing breaks my walls more than a persistent man. So for all the men who are like, I don't want to bother her. Oh, she already said no. Yeah, she did. But you just keep on like, you.

Just gotta wear her down, boy.

Like a good salesman that I can't stand that's been trying to do commercials with me forever. And I'm like, man, I do not like you, bro. But he keeps after me, and he keeps after me. Now I'll take his phone calls a little bit. Yeah. And like, by the end of the year, if he stays persistent he's got me.

Oh, bro. Dude. There was a. There was a guest that we wanted to have that did not want to be on the podcast, but because of our persistence, she's on the podcast right now.

Oh, true.

Like, four times.

And, and strategy, because. Yeah, and this wasn't really natural strategy because I came at her at first about being on the podcast or just, you know, just understanding her message.

How'd y' all even meet?

She listened to our. She listened to the Steve Weatherford podcast.

Oh, that's.

Yeah, I, I, I'm reaching out to people on Instagram quite a bit. Like, if I, like, one thing God put in me, that.

Or sliding into dms.

Sliding in all of them. God. God made me a gardener of his kingdom. So what. What I do is he'll highlight people to me and hope. This is a seed of mine. I want you to go in, and I want you to study that seed, and I want you to help water it, and I want you to speak life into it in a way where the seed can understand how it can grow in my kingdom. And not that I'm, like, special or anything, but this applies to branding, marketing. This applies to, like, people's inner giftings. Like, I just see it. I just see that stuff. And, like, I'm driven by speaking life into people in that way. So when I say that, like, I found the both of you, and I was, like, instantly obsessed. Like, you guys obsessed. I'm like, these two are going to be my. My best friends. And I watched that podcast. I read Guy's book. I was like, frank, when is your episode coming out? I watched that yesterday. Like, God just makes me so excited about people and, like, who they are. So, yes, I slid into Guy Jones, DM and then.

Different kind of way.

Yeah, yeah, for real. For holy spirit led sliding right there.

Yeah.

Come on.

And we got a beautiful woman on here to talk about seed on the holy.

She just kept talking about seed on the holy and horny podcast.

Sorry.

Holy seed.

It's all holy seed.

It's all holy seed. No, that was great.

Yeah, dude.

I honestly feel like, right. Right now, the message here has been so beautiful.

Yeah.

For single people, men and women.

I think it's been healing, bro.

So I think eye opening. I think we should pray, finish this in prayer. And I think Lauren should lead this prayer and just pray for guidance, wisdom, and seeking. Seeking relationship. Why? Why Frank slides out and. And then also, man, if you don't have a relationship with God and you want, like, I'm just going to go ahead and be real with y' all right now. I've never seen more beauty in my life than I see, like, daily, like, the sun sets at my dream house, working my dream job with my dream group of men, working for me with a dream best friend that doesn't have an agenda outside of helping me become better and just out of love. So I'm so blessed. But it's not out of my own strength. My own strength led me to prison for 12 years. My own strength has failed me a thousand times. So I also want to say, man, if you're listening to this, and this is the only episode you listen to, and you want real life change, and you're. You're feeling empty inside, no matter. And you're getting the same things I got, but you're not feeling the same thankfulness or gratefulness or you're not seeing the same sunset that I'm seeing. And you may be in the more beautiful place, but it's a heart thing. Well, we might not be married yet. We might not be bearing fruit in that part of our life, but one thing we know is, man, we know who to turn to when we need help. We know where our satisfaction and our gifts and blessings come from. And I think there's other people that probably want to operate in some of that same power, want just God to heal their heart. You got anything to add to that before we pray?

I think if you want everything that Guy Jones just said, I think you repeat this prayer after us. Let's go pray this. You want to pray, brother?

I want Lauren to pray it.

I've never done a salvation prayer.

I think first pray. Just pray wherever the spirit leads. Yeah.

Just respect Jesus's name as a son of the living God. Repent of our sins, receive them into.

Our heart, and repent simply means man. God, I'm a savage animal that doesn't live right, and I'm savage in areas that I really shouldn't be savage in, and. But I want the best. I want to serve you, and I want to operate in something fulfilling. I want adventure in my life, and I want to know that my short time on earth meant something. I want to move in a different direction because I know you got better, and I know I can trade good for great.

Amen.

That's repent. Repent sounds so terrible, but it just means rethink, shift, and think, and that's it. Man, it's so practical. It's like, man, I'm not thinking clearly about this. So, man, I shouldn't Be drinking this much. Maybe I need to go hit the gym. That's repenting. That's saying, man, I shouldn't, or, you know, I'm really not good in this relationship. I'm not showing up as my best and. And I'm taking this relationship for granted. Maybe I need to date this girl, and maybe I need to, you know, show up at her work with some flowers and show her who she is to me. New really being just a new way of showing up, a new way of thinking.

Hey, I've been trying to do this life on my own, with my own strength, without even asking God for help. I'mma change that today, right? I'm going start asking for some help now for some insight. So, Lauren, I would love if you let us in that prayer.

Okay.

So anyone listening just repeat after me can add anything that you. That you desire as well. Father in heaven, I come honoring your name. I ask that you forgive me for my sins, for the ways that I've been thinking and living. I repent for those things, and I want Jesus in my life. I pray, God, that you bring Jesus. I ask you, Jesus, to come into my heart. I pray that you become Lord of my life in every area of my life. I give over to you, God. I ask that Holy Spirit, you come and breathe life into me, and I will live for you for the rest of my days. And may the rest of my life be the best of my life. In Jesus's mighty name, Amen.

Amen.

And you lit that up, girl, for never praying that. And I'm not saying that that's your calling to pray that prayer, but I've never heard a more beautiful prayer.

That was powerful. I think. I think this is. This was the first time that you've prayed it, but I think you're gonna pray it a whole lot more this year with people personally and even on air. So I think.

Thank you for the opportunity. I do want to pray regarding, you know, what? We talked about relationship and masculinity and femininity today. Can I do that?

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Okay. All right. Father in heaven, thank you so much for this opportunity to bring the three of us together. Every single person that was able to listen to this full episode, God, I just bless them right now. Every person, no matter where they're at, what they're experiencing, especially the ones that have been silently crying out your name, especially the ones who have been crying out your name and haven't even known that that's what they've been doing. The ones who want to hear from you. The ones that don't know, they want to hear from you, God, let it be known to them that you hear them and that you love them. God, I pray that you take this opportunity tonight, tomorrow, the rest of the week to just show them your love, the love of the Father, God, and not just in the mind, but in their heart. I ask that Holy Spirit, you come into their heart and just show them new things about who they are, about who you've called them to be, and even who you've called them to be in relationship as kings and queens of your kingdom. God, I pray that for every man who has felt disappointed and hurt and betrayed in relationship, that, God, you just cover their hearts in this moment. For every man who has experienced hardship with women, God, I pray for a supernatural covering over their back, over their heart, and over every memory that they may have that was negative. God, I pray that you heal that right now in Jesus's mighty name. And I pray for every man that has always needed to hear an apology from a woman, that they know that just collectively, women are still learning how to respect men. Women are still learning how to love themselves. So for every, every man that has ever wanted or needed an apology from. From a woman for betrayal, for her not trusting his leadership, God, may he have that right now, with the power of your Holy Spirit, just show them and show them the leader that you. You made them to be, no matter what anyone, especially a woman, has said to them. God, I pray for the healing between women and men in this moment. And I pray a covering over this podcast. I pray a covering over Frank and Guy that they bring your message to every single episode from here on out and that the power of your son and your Holy Spirit is felt through every word and every episode in Jesus's mighty name.

A.m. dear Lord, thank you for this day, Lord. Thank you for Lauren. Thank you for her heart, Lord. Thank you for her ability to just be present and to be open and to be honest, Lord, and to make room for the Holy Spirit to move in her life, Lord, in her words, Lord. And I ask that women and men listening, Lord, that they would hear the message clearly and take away what you. The each individual message you'd have for them to take away. Lord, I pray for the. The couples on here, the married couples that are feeling like their relationship is monotony, that there's no real fire in their relationship, there's no joy, peace, there's no lust, there's no righteous sexual energy. Lord, I pray that you would fulfill them, Lord, and that you would give them a new fire in their relationship, Lord, that their kids would respect. And that their kids would look at their relationship and be like, man, my dad treated my mom like a queen. And they would know when they were in a relationship, they would just know to default to showing up for their wife, Lord, and showing up for their children, Lord, and that they would learn how to lead themselves well so they could lead others well, Lord, I ask that you continue just to do a work on our hearts, Lord, and put us in the path of men that we can help complete, Lord, with the right words at the right time. And just continue to do your work on this podcast, Lord. Remove intentions that are not of you. Remove. Remove us if we're not clearly conveying your message, Lord, because the ultimate desire of our heart is to do your will, Lord. And though we're not perfect, Lord, we desire to serve you and leave an impact and a legacy on this earth and in heaven. In Jesus name I pray, man.

Amen.

Amen.

Let's go. Thanks for tuning into the Holy and Horny podcast. Make sure that you guys follow. And we're gonna put Lauren's information in the show notes. The about section.

And our DMS are gonna blow up.

They're gonna blow. Everyone's gonna be sliding into those dms in a good way. The way you slid into guy's DMs. I feel like God stories are going to happen. God connections are going to happen. I just feel like this was a real fruitful podcast, bro.

Oh, my goodness.

Probably one of the best ones we've had. And if not the best one, and I'm not.

We.

We have the most beautiful woman on our podcast, mind, heart, and body. So we did well.

We did very well.

Let's go.

Thank you for tuning in, Lauren. Make sure you guys subscribe to the podcast. Send it to anybody you feel needs it.

We're.

We'll catch you on the next episode.

Man, that was good. That was.

I want to keep doing these.

I love the Lord and I love people that need the Lord.

I'm just tired of being fake. And if I got a thief fake and I can't be real. The Bible says, confess your sin to one another. I love you. I honor you, man. You are like your fruit of the ministry, man.