Lets talk About AI and Life!
Mary Ellen used AI to navigate her father's hospitalization, surgery, and funeral planning, asking it to formulate doctor questions and interpret lab results. She rotated between ChatGPT, Claude, and Gemini to exploit each model's strengths, treating AI as a trusted mentor while staying present for her family during crisis.
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Sam.
Good morning. LinkedIn friends, Value First Nation. Welcome to another episode of Value First AI Daily, your collaborative intelligence reports. I got more friends today here with George. Nico and Mary Ellen is joining us. How's everybody doing today?
Doing great.
How are you doing? Fantastic. It's been, been taken a few days off here and there. I've been moving. It feels like more and more is going on every day. And it's something we're gonna, we're gonna talk about that, you know, AI, while it can do all of the, you know, cost savings and time savings and, and stuff like that, it also enables a ton more work to be done too. And you're, you're joining us today to talk about your journey recently, about how AI has helped you through some stuff. And when Nico shared your post, the thing that I immediately keyed in on was your mention of the help with the cognitive load. And something I've been seeing, I feel like more and more recently is it's not being measured as such. Right. So hard to measure. But like people just saying, like, you can feel the excitement, the fun, the empowerment and just this weight, like the weight that gets lifted in this space where we just don't have to do anything alone anymore, really. Thanks to AI. So I'd love to just put that out there and you guys can take it wherever you want to go.
Well, let me set the stage a little bit for those out there. My father passed, unfortunately, at the end of the year, right before Christmas. And I had been using AI before that as well while we were navigating the hospital and surgeries and things like that, because we don't know until we need to know it. And I had to, I leveraged AI a lot to help me ask the right question, navigating through that. But then when he passed, it was so crushing. I'm an only child, so kind of navigating that on my own and supporting my mom. But both mom and dad were, are in their 80s. My mom is still around, she's 83, but it's such a technology heavy world today. She didn't know how to navigate a lot of things as well. But after he passed, I leveraged AI so much to act as my personal funeral director and help me to navigate that next stage of planning the funeral, which, by the way, is like planning a wedding but under more duress. Right. And under more stress and emotions. So that that's what I leveraged it very heavily on. And that's where I got the value. Because it was able, it enabled me to be there for my mother in a way that if I was super focused on everything else, I wouldn't have been able to be.
Yeah, I remember reading your post and the, that's what, that's what had grabbed me because it really struck me in the same way that, I mean, I, I can't think of how many people on a, on a countless basis. And I remember hearing from Sam Altman when he was saying that when him and his wife had their Kid, how having ChatGPT to help them raise their kid, how he couldn't imagine having done it without that. And then, and think, you know, in reading about your scenario, it's like, wow, this whole new wave of these scenarios that are now like, not necessarily like mitigated, but even through your own use case, it's like now everybody has this extra hand that can, you know, they can hold on to sort of, that can guide them through this process. That doesn't make it as daunting that at least takes that out of the way so that you're not. Because, you know, I'm sure, you know, I know, I know from experience that going through all those choices and having to figure all that stuff out on your own definitely is just taxing.
It's crushing, right? It's, it's, it's almost soul crushing because you, you don't know what to do next and you don't, you know, you get help here and there. But like, even when I did meet with the funeral director in person, it was, you know, they're empathetic to a degree. But I also think that they're hardened, right? They're desensitized because they do it all the time. And you know, they talk about things like so passively, oh, the death certificates. And you're, and you're thinking, oh my God, I have to get death certificates and how many. And you know, and then navigating. Now my, the last few weeks I've been trying to navigate the health insurance system or the life insurance system and trying to get the life insurance and, and running into problems there. And so it, if, if people aren't already thinking about AI first or thinking about where AI can help it, it definitely goes beyond that productivity aspect of it and do more with less aspect. It is that, that guiding light? Of course, Trust but verify. I mean it doesn't know everything about everything yet. You know, it's going to make mistakes and, But I think we're all intelligent enough to know like, oh, that sounds a little off. Let me verify that. Right. But as far as knowing what questions to ask and, you know, who to call next or just. It relieves that burden so much. So much so that you can do and do the things that you need to do and be present for the people you need to be present for. You know, I had to be present not only for my mom, but for my children as well. They lost their grandpa. Right. So, you know, that was very difficult for. For them. And me, me being caught in the middle, I needed just that little bit of, you know, weight lifted off of me.
So there's. There's so much that I. I need to unpack right now. And. And Mary Ellen, I'll give you some context for me as a human on this episode of this chat we're having today. People know me as the HubSpot Nerd, the AI guy, but historically, I was a pastor, and so I've buried people. I've done funerals. When you say they get catalysts to the process, you hit a nerve, because I understand when that is your occupation, when that is your ministry, and you're so close to it so often, it can become another day. And it's not your another day, but it's there another day. I want to go clear back to the beginning, though, when you said, even before this, when I was in, you know, talking to the doctors, and I think there's a powerful piece that you mentioned about being able to ask the right questions. Like, listen, I have heart medication that I can't even pronounce when I go to ask them the question. Right? It's like, I don't. I don't know. And so you feel intimidated, but when you can ask the right questions, you no longer feel intimidated because you now are part of the conversation and you're headed in the right direction. You said a couple words, a couple times. You said, navigate. If we go back, if this was a drinking game, we would be done with the podcast right now, with the amount of times that you said navigate. And where my brain's going is it's like a human trying to make it from point A to point B. And there's all of these things that are taking your attention, but at least there's this one thing. As an only child not feeling alone because I can now navigate with the right questions. And then you gave me the magic word because it's enabling me to make it to the other side. And I just hope that people listen to that because so many times in our industry, it's like, I use AI for SEO or I wrote a blog Article and like, the deep trenches that AI had to journey with you through, the conversation we're having today, I hope opens people's eyes to, like, what they may have not been thinking about so far.
Exactly. And during that period of time, what was great and. And kudos to the hospital because they had the technology where anytime my father had any kind of test done, I got the results on my phone. So I was able to take screenshots, you know, the person personalize it, and take out all of the identifying information, just upload the data and have it interpret it for me so that I can either verify with the doctor that's what was going on, or maybe they didn't see something that was going on. And. But you have to have a lot louder voice also. So, unfortunately, there were things that were missed by the doctors.
Oh, no.
Brought into the situation way earlier in the process. Right. You know, to get more data of the patterns that were going on. So, I mean, I used it AI every step of the way because, again, you know, that's not my specialty. Again. It's like when I go to the hairdresser and she asked me what I want, I go, I don't care. You're. You know, you went to school for hair. I went to school for computers. I'll fix your computer. You fix my hair. Right. Same thing with doctors. Right. So I. I don't know, like you said, George, the terminology and things like that, it's like, what am I. What am I looking at? What's the. What's really going on here?
Yeah, you just gave me a tip, by the way, that I hadn't really thought of, but now I'm gonna hack the crap out of it. Moving forward, whenever I go to the doctor and they do, like, blood work and things like that, you know, you get the results back, and it's like these dumb yellow and green lines and these numbers, and you're like, sweet. It looks like I'm good. I don't know. But what would be interesting is to take those screenshots and be like, hey, if a human, like, give me the lowdown. Because it's just so. It's like this black hole of, like, I don't know.
Right. I just did that last week with my own blood work. I'm like, okay, this is. This is the blood work that my. My endocrinologist ordered. Here's the. Here are the results. You know, because they. But they actually. The endocrinologist had an issue with the lab and getting the results. So when I finally Got the results. She didn't. The doctor didn't call me. I'm like, okay, I guess I, you know, got to figure this out on my own and.
Yeah, but I'm curious. When you were navigating this and. And engaging with these other humans, how much did you disclose that you were using AI to help you ask the right questions and, you know, help you through this?
100%. I. I told every. And they didn't balk at it. They. Some of them were actually kind of curious because they're like, oh, you know, I've used it before. I remember even at one period when my father was between issues and I was telling his. His general practitioner about what I had been using it for, and he's like, that is a great idea. Like, he hadn't even thought about it. And then there was one instance. I think we were at the hot. It was at the hospital, and they were having a. The nurses were having a problem removing, you know, a port, I think it was. And then they were like, okay, we'll be right back. And they go outside, and I went outside, and they are literally looking up on their AI and on the AI that that hospital was using. I was like, are you kidding me? I was like, are you chatgpt this? And they're kind of like, hiding it from me. I was like, it's all good. I was like, but, you know, just tell me what you're doing, but make sure you verify what you're looking at. So I used it 100% of the time and was very open about it. And then when my father was going in for the surgery, I literally handed the doctor the list of questions, and he was very good about, because I was going to be out of town. And so over the phone, he went through every question and answered every question that I had, and he knew that it was generated from AI and he was, you know, everybody was okay with it. You know, like I said, some were curious, some were. You know, none of them were like, oh, my God, you know, that's B.S.
Yeah.
Which is good.
And did this. Well, I'm curious what your experience level was before you got to this point. And we're having to deal with this situation where you're like, a daily user already.
Yeah, I've been a daily user. Well, I would say I've been a daily user for about probably a year and a half to two years. But I started with, you know, the. The dabbling with ChatGPT, like, you know, early 2023. So when it came out you know, I'm always about continuous learning, and my background is computer science, and my whole career I've been in that industry. So it's. It was a natural movement for me. So like I said, I named them and all that stuff. Although the personality, I've noticed, has changed over the years. Right. With each model that comes out a little weirder. So now, like, I have a very more clinical relationship with him now. Yes, it's a him. Claude's a girl. My Axel is a boy.
Yeah, that's funny.
So, but no, I use. I literally use, like, I use Chachi, pt, Anthropics, Claude and Google, Gemini almost on a daily basis because they all have their strengths and weak weaknesses. Right. So, yeah, don't use it. Yeah.
Was there anything like, I guess, as a daily user, was there anything about, I guess, the process that you want to dig into specifically or maybe surprised you or you learned even more about, like, your relationship with, with AI and, and how it helped through the situation?
I want to know what you thought.
But my mom, My mom doesn't even understand AI.
I kind of want to know because.
Like, I'm, you know, when I, when I was going through it with my mom, like, thankfully I have my wife and I had wife gbt, if you will. And, you know, so I'm wondering, like, was your mom at all surprised that you were able to sort of like, either answer questions or like, facilitator with stuff, like, basically wondering if, if there was this like, hey, how. How come you already know how to do that type moment.
In all honesty, both my parents were annoyed with me. You know, they were that, like, why do I have to ask so many questions? And, you know, they, they would call me out on it and I'm like, I'm just trying to help. But they, they didn't see it that way, unfortunately, all the time. I mean, they did say at one point this was while the, you know, dad, before he actually even went in the hospital were like, you know, if it weren't for me, they, they wouldn't have survived because it all started with my mom being in the hospital and wound up having gallbladder surgery. And again, like I said, 83 years old, any kind of surgery is kind of, you know, very sketchy. Not sketchy, but risky. And, you know, so she wound up in the hospital first, and that was kind of the trigger for my dad and what started launching some of his issues. Right. So when at one point they were both in the hospital at the same time, and like I said, I Would ask questions and they more wanted, you know, they're from that generation of just the doctors. Right. Just shut up and just move along. So then they're New Yorkers. Right. So they very vocal about it as well. So it was, it was interesting. My father, he retired when he was 55, so he'd been retired almost 30 years. Right. So he's still living in 19, you know, 95, 96. And he even then didn't like technology. I mean, I'm surprised he put me through college for a comp Sci degree because he wanted nothing to do with computers and to technology, not even a phone. So they didn't have any of that. So here I am trying to get answers from a computer. My father wanted nothing to do with that. Nothing. So. So there was that challenge as well.
How do you. So I imagine you have some tips for those out there that might be challenged with like translating or explaining AI to those close to them. Trying to help people understand, you know, the, the impact of what could be if you just kind of learn how to ask. Ask. Ask for help.
Yeah, I mean, like I said, my parents didn't really want to hear about it. Again, technology, not their strong. You know, they just hand it over to me. Just let me do my thing. When I would ask the questions, they would get annoyed. But, you know, use it for anything that, that you struggle with. Right. I mean, I wish I had it up right now to help me answer some of your questions because it just comes in handy for anything and everything. Right. You're not. It's not taking over for you. It's enhancing the person that you already are. Right. If you have difficulty doing research or if you have difficulty asking questions or speaking up, this definitely helps. Like I said, even being uncomfortable with the doctors because you don't want to make it seem like you're belittling them in their education. But I would tell them, hey, I don't know what I don't know. Here's a list of questions that my AI and I came up with. You know, would you mind looking this over and helping me to understand? And then with the opposite side, when I'm feeding AI information, I would say, to talk to me like I'm. I at one point went back as far as like fifth grade, and I was like, okay, they dumbed it down too much. Like, they, they were using examples that I couldn't relate to anymore. So I went to like. And yes, I'm a college graduate, but I'm still, you know, I want medical to me Simply right. So I would say high school graduate. Explain this to me like I'm a high school graduate or like a freshman. Like it depended on the level that it also depended on my mood and you know, what state of mind I was in that day. If I was like an emotional wreck that day. Okay, expect, explain it to me like, you know, like I am a freshman in high school so that I, and give me, but give me examples like I'm a 56 year old woman so that it could at least give me real life examples that I can still relate to versus, okay, I'm, you know, because I'm not a high schooler anymore. So definitely, I mean you'll, you hear about prompting and context engineering and all that stuff. Just talk to it again like it's your best friend or like it's your, your mentor or whatever, you know, so that it, it has the right context to be able to answer you the way that it needs to answer.
So I, I gotta, I gotta do this because you said a 56 year old woman. I'm. Thanks, by the way, for being transparent, sharing who you are and age and all that as a 54 year old male. I think it's fun that you're on this episode, I'm on this episode and we're like, embrace technology and use the thing and talk to it like it's, you know, your best friend. And because I think some people find a gap in what Mary Ellen, I see you doing very easily and I do very easily. Like it's funny you said, I wish I had it up now so I could help answer some of the questions that you're asking me. I've been on podcast episodes with Chris where in the moment he's seen me go, well, my assistant says this and this is what I think about that. And it will just, just launch an entire rest of a conversation or piece of a conversation that we're having on episodes. And so to think of this, and you said this as well, like augmenting you as a human, assisting you as a human. And I think these are just some core principles that people need to like, think about, pay attention to and how, how do they enable them in their life of talking to it like it's a best friend so that it can augment you, so that you can use it in the moment so that you can ask the right questions. Like, it's just very powerful. We start to stack these layers that you're talking about together of what could be happening in people's lives. I also want to kick back to one last thing that you said too, that I'm impressed about, and that is I use you, Gemini, Claude, chatgpt on a daily basis because they're all, they all have their own strengths. I look around in the industry and there are so many people who are picking a base and they're staying in the base and they're not spreading themselves throughout the tools when they need to spread themselves out throughout the tools. And I think that in the future that puts people in a very interesting place if all of a sudden their base blows up.
That.
So I love that you're like across the board using in different areas for different reasons. Chris.
Yeah, One of them will typically. Am I allowed to say pissed off on this? But one of them will piss me off, right? And that's when I go to the other and you know, so that's why I'm constant be going between them and you. You find out by using them all. And, and I get it, you know, some people don't want to either spend the money on the $20 a month for each one. And that's fine. You can still pick your core one. Like Chat GPT. I started with Chat GPT so early on. It knows me, my personality, my writing, my, you know, it knows me best. But that doesn't make it always right or always produce the thing that I'm looking for, especially when it comes to images and, and things like that. Okay, I will throw the same exact prompt into all three and then be like, okay, I'll pick, you know, the one that came closest to what I'm looking for and go from there. Or for writing, you know, I was, I poo pooed Claude for a long time and, and then I was working with a company that. That was the only one that we could use it. And that's when you find out, okay, Claude is phenomenal at the coding. Right. And I'm, you know, Yes, I quoted 30 years ago, but not anymore. But when you see it build a beautiful web page and you're like, oh my gosh, I just did that by telling it what I wanted. Right? So it. They each play around with it, right? I mean, that's, that's we're super intelligent, right? As a, as a whole. Just use it. Use it. Yes.
Yeah. That oh my gosh moment right now, I think is the part that everybody's underestimating and we're seeing more and more people share those stories right now to where like literally you said, oh my gosh, I asked it for the thing and it did what I wanted, right? The amount of times in our life on the daily that that actually happens like around us has been, you know, rare at times depending on your, your work and life environment. And now to just to have that, that like capability, access. I think especially in the workplace, I think back to how leaders really underestimate the stress, the anxiety, the cognitive load issue in a work environment to where, hey, you've got to get your job done, the customer is asking for the thing, it doesn't matter if you've never done it before, you've got to figure it out in that moment. And you're calling different departments, you're doing whatever you can now we're all enabled to just solve in that moment. And it goes from like, you watch people go from like not looking forward to the daily moments to like, let's go like we can't wait, right. And the amount of value being created in those moments is just so, so powerful to see. And I can only imagine this is the one part like I would love to be in an office right now because there'd be no way that I'd leave the end of the week without, without everybody in the office like understanding how to use these tools and having somebody have built an app. And it's just that, that access to capability in a way that you know, I've never seen it before, I've never heard about it before, never experienced it before. And you, you mentioned Nico about the, the kids and that something I had always heard like, and I don't have kids, but the concept of like you can read as many books as you want and do all this, you're never ready, like you can't ever be ready. And you know, it doesn't sound like that's necessarily like true anymore now that we have access.
And I think I what's great. So for example, I, I literally just had it create a five week course for me to learn how to do agentic AI, right? So, so it'll be in my language that I can understand. It'll be at a pace that I want to go at and I don't have to pay a third party company, you know, for a five week certification class to learn how to, you know, build agents and you know, how agents work. And so I, I built that, I, you know, build it to what you need, right? It's, it's at your pace. I mean AI is going so fast, it's hard to keep up, right? That's the really the biggest struggle. But learn the things at your own pace and you'll get good at it. And I don't think anybody's an expert. I think I said at the beginning, you know, it's, it's just about continuing continuous improvement and learning all the time and doing it at your own pace. And you'll be your, your own expert.
I, I like, I think you've reached the magic number of saying something about three times. So I'll bring it back up. And that is this idea of simplifying the complex. Again, you've mentioned it multiple times, but I think it is a very interesting world where you can take something down to the level that you understand it and then extrapolate it out into like a course style form. Talk about personalization at scale. I need to learn this content. I want it to talk to me at this level. You might get through module one and two and be like, you know what? Amp it up. Let's go 10th grade. Let's go 11th grade. Okay, now let's try module three and four. Right. And so I hear flexibility, right? Flexibility in growth, but being able to simplify the complex to get started. And I think that is amazing if people can embrace that.
Yeah, for sure. Well, unfortunately, we're at time. We thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your story today. Thank you.
This was awesome.
You are welcome back anytime. And until tomorrow, or you can find us again at 7am Central. We hope everybody has a great Tuesday. Thanks so much, everybody.
Thank you. Bye.
