More Than a Feeling: Love as the Fuel for Growth + Connection

When you lead with love, you're not just walking a path, you're building one where passion, purpose, and persistence have the ability to thrive and be enabled to do the things that you're trying to do and go the places that you're trying to go. Purpose is rooted in love. Think about like, for a hot second most meaningful goals that you've had come from a place of empathy, from wanting to connect or contribute to something bigger than yourself or even even if it's personal goals, there's like self empathy for the place that you're at versus the place that you want to be. Love aligns your actions with your values, keeping your purpose grounded and real. And when you approach your purpose with love, it deepens your commitment. It's no longer just about I'm chasing a goal, but it's about honoring what truly matters to you.

Welcome back to Beyond. You'd default. I'm your host, Liz Morehead, and as always, I'm joined by one of my absolute favorite, favorite humans on the planet, friends, mentor, collaborator, George B. Thomas. How are you this morning?

Ah, Liz, I'm doing good, thanks. I like hanging out with you and appreciate you as well. And I'm super excited to be here today just to kind of have this second level conversation around a what I'll call a very interesting topic or the relationship that people have with this topic, but doing good. Glad to be here.

You know what's interesting? I've been doing a lot of reflecting, you know, as you and I both do, and I'm gonna be honest, I'm about to go a little off script from what we have in the outline. So today we're revisiting the topic of love. We've been going through all of the cornerstones of the superhuman framework. We've talked about purpose, we've talked about passion, we've talked about persistence. And now we are back full circle talking about love, which is something that you and I talked about a couple of months ago because, you know, love you and I discussed at the time is, is kind of the core of everything. It is the reason. And yet there's a little bit of uncoolness and about it. Right. But as I was reflecting this morning, coming to this episode, I'm thinking about the fact that Thanksgiving is right behind us. And this time last year, you and I recorded an episode about feeling funky about the holidays. And this year we're not sidestepping the fact that, you know, and if I would encourage our listeners, if you're new to this podcast, we have an episode called Dealing with the Holiday Blues. I would highly recommend you go listen back to that because we're not sidestepping that. We're not sidestepping that and suddenly saying, everything's great, everything's fine. But we're definitely in a different mindset this year than we were this time last year, aren't we?

I mean, without a doubt. I don't know how anybody could get to a year later and not say that they're in a different. If you are, then you're stuck. Which, thank God you're listening to this podcast then, because that's one of the fundamental things is like, how do we help people who feel like they're stuck in the same situations over and over again? Life's insanity, if you will. But yeah, no, we're definitely like, listen, I quite enjoyed. It was a different kind of Thanksgiving, but I quite enjoyed Thanksgiving and my firehouse turkey stuffing sub because the wife and daughters were out and I enjoyed the going to the movie, which you would think that they would be closed, but they're not. They're open for people just like me and Noah. So, like. But the son. Yeah, no, I'm my son, you know, making the best of it and actually enjoying it, dare I say, loving it. So definitely a different headspace.

So here's what I want us to do before I get into laying the foundation for today's topic. You know, you and I, we weren't necessarily apologetic about our love for love in the last time we talked about this a couple months ago, but we did lean into the fact that people think it's uncool. People don't like to say, you know, oh, love is great. Love is the reason I do things. Love is the root of all. No apologies. This is an apology free zone for both you and me, George, and I think for all of our listeners. Because there's a reason why love is a cornerstone of the superhuman framework, and it is the one that we land on. It is the energy and connection that infuses everything else that we do with meaning and purpose. I like to think of love because I've listened to you talk about love quite a bit, Right. For me, here's how I think about it. Passion is the ignition. It's the spark. Purpose is the compass. It gives us the direction. Persistence keeps us moving forward. But love, it's not just about sustaining. It's not just the amplification. It's not the warmth, just the warmth from the heart. It is the connective tissue. It's what Brings everything all together, grounding us in what truly matters. But we have to acknowledge the fact that when you say the word love, people kind of, like, immediately were thinking like rom coms and Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks and bold I love you proclamations while standing in someone's backyard with a boombox over your head. But in the context of this, and to be fair, I love that movie. I'm a big say anything fan. I can quote Sleepless in Seattle from Here to Eternity, but when we're talking about today, love is much more expansive. It's about self love. It's about love for others. Yes. Romantic love and love for the journey of becoming the best version of yourself. Does it have a cheesy reputation? Yes. But I think being uncool is way cooler than being cool. I'm just going to say that. That's what I'm saying out loud. In this episode, we're pulling back the curtain on love. We're going one level deeper. Not the Hollywood version, but the real, the messy, the transformative kind that powers your personal growth. We're going to talk about what it means to practice love as an act of choice, because it is a choice. In fact, I was talking with a girlfriend of mine this week, and she said, you know, I don't believe in soulmates, and she has an incredible boyfriend. They're desperately in love. But you know what she said to me? She said when I first told my boyfriend that I loved him, I said, I have made the choice to love you, and I choose it every day.

It's actually very wise.

Oh, yeah, Absolutely. So if you've ever wondered how love fits into your journey of becoming your best self, well, guess what, cupcakes? You're about to freaking find out. George, are you ready to dig in?

I'm ready to dig in. Yeah. I'm. I'm excited about this one.

I've already alluded to this, but you've literally said that love is, quote, the reason for everything. I'm curious if there was a particular moment in your life when this realization clicked for you, or has it always kind of been a guiding principle?

Yeah, no, not always been a guiding principle. I mean, love as the reason for everything. Air quotes. For those of you listening, watching you saw me do it. It wasn't always something, Liz, that I, like, consciously lived by or even, maybe even thought about it. It was a realization that I would say grew over time as. As these kind of dominoes of life started to fall and kind of shaped by moments of what I'll call clarity and transformation. But. But I had actually thought about this for, like, a long time, and I'm like, but. But I want to pinpoint what's a moment. And honestly, if I had to pinpoint a moment, Liz, it would be a conversation that changed the trajectory of my life, probably more than I even knew at the time, or maybe even to this day, have put weight into it. And I've told the story of the mission trip at the Crow Indian Reservation and about Prophetess Juanita and. And the day that I heard the words, when are you going to realize you're the blessing? And that statement or that question, like, it hit me hard because I realized I'd been searching for validation. I'd been searching for success, like both of these externally, rather than grounding it in something deeper, which in this case is. Is love. From that moment when I heard those words, love started to shift from the feeling, right to what I'll call, like, in my life, definitely in my life, a guiding principle. Everything else in my life around love became a setup for the, I guess, cataclysmic jump in a new direction. Because, like I said, these life dominoes had been happening, but it was like that statement was the. And all of a sudden, like, they're okay. It's. It's time to change. Because love became the lens through which I approached, and still do approach every part of my life. Love for myself meant forgiving past mistakes. And trust me, there are plenty of them to forgive, right? But. But to choose to. To grow, to grow out of and past them. Love at that point, and where I'm at now is love for others means building authentic and purposeful, purposeful relationships. So many times we have relationships just because we think we need to have people around us. What we need to have is the right people around us. But love for the journey meant embracing setbacks as opportunities to become better, not bitter. And there's a large part of my life where I was focused on being bitter, not being better, and with love, that transforms that change. The truth is that without love, we lose our humanity. And so that realization has really reshaped everything for me. And I know that I said, liz, lead with love in a previous podcast and in different conversations, but maybe what I should have said is, start with, or maybe better yet, even be rooted in love. Because I think as I've had time to kind of think about this podcast episode that we're going through and really dive into this, it's not just about leading with love. It's about recognizing that love is why we lead, love is why we care, Love is why we grow. I think that most people, when they hear the word love, they think about again. And you, you alluded to it at the beginning of this podcast, but romance and the roses and the happily ever afters, but that's not it.

Again, I think this is going to be an unexpected recurring theme. This idea of there is a choice you make. Right. I'll be honest, love actually is probably one of my least favorite Christmas movies. I find it to be incredibly problematic and in a lot of ways very sad, and people make a lot of questionable decisions. But one of the things I do love is at the beginning. Hugh Grant is talking about being at an airport and how it is a reminder that love actually is all around. But it, the thing that he doesn't say is it is a choice to see it. So what you said there about the choice of being better rather than bitter, sometimes we choose the mechanism of being bitter because there is a safety to it. There's a level of exposure that we do not want to accept the vulnerability for. Or maybe we don't want to acknowledge or hold ourselves accountable for why we are where we are to begin with, but it begins with that choice. Now, you already mentioned this, but let's dig into this a little further. You know, when they hear the word love, they think about romance, they think about roses. Happily, happily ever after. Which is so funny because that's when the actual love story begins. But that's where almost all of them end in Hollywood. Right. But when you say love in the context of the superhuman framework, what are we really talking about?

Yeah, it's not the perfect Instagram worthy moments that come shooting to everybody's minds. And I get it, why that would be. We're conditioned to, to think this way. But when I think about the superhuman framework and the word love, I go to a level where, and I'm, I gotta be careful how I say this, but like, I'm gonna even. I just say it. Real love, like, real love isn't about roses or happily ever afters. Love is, is the most powerful tool you have for personal growth and transformation. And it's not the kind of love you see again in, like, what Hollywood or the world wants to portray. It's something much deeper. And, and I alluded to it and it talked about it a little bit last time we had this conversation. But I just hope people understand the different types of love there are. And today I'm going to just drill down into and talk about When I talk about the superhuman framework and love, I'm talking about agape love. And I have to be real transparent. While we're on a podcast talking about personal growth, when I think of the superhuman framework, we could just as easily be talking about team dynamics, leadership, company cultures, but that's a totally different podcast probably for in the future because this is beyond your default and we're talking about personal growth. This is. I just want everybody to understand the power of love and how it transcends into different areas than where we might just think. So, but today I'm going to stick with the superhuman framework, personal growth and agape style love. Because agape love is. It's not about the fireworks or the butterflies. It's selfless and unconditional. It's the love that says, I see you for who you are, not just what you do. It's the kind of love that goes beyond surface level connections and straight into the heart of what it means to truly live and grow, to be human. In personal growth, this love is not about what you kind of get from others. It's about how you show up for yourself, how you show up for the world around you and, you know, being able to show up. Liz, I'll just steal your line. Being able to show up as a whole ass human. Agape love is selfless and unconditional. Like, you need to imagine a world where you can care for yourself and others with strings attached. Like, you know, how many of us live life with so many strings attached? Like I. Sometimes I envision like just the. The marionettes and the people and the strings and the. It's just. What I'm trying to say is this like means that we're showing up for the people we love and for ourselves. Even when it's hard, even when it's messy. It. Agape love recognizes that your worth isn't tied to your productivity or your achievements. Agape love is empathy driven. Like you. You see, agape love starts with understanding both of others and yourself. It's. It's about listening to the inner voice, offering yourself grace, extending the same to the people in your life. Like, there's Agape love is action oriented. It's not just the warm fuzzy feeling. It. It's. It's what you do, right? And if it's what you do, love is a choice you and it's an action. It's choosing kindness over judgment or action over apathy. It's being there for someone else or taking that uncomfortable step to care for yourself in a way that Actually fricking matters. Agape love. And I think this is like why I. Well, all of the reasons, but this one to me is like, agape love is inclusive and it's universal. It doesn't stop with the people closest to you. It reaches everyone, including those humans out there that challenge us. That's the nice way that I'll put this. It reminds us that we're all connected and that when we show love to others, we're creating ripples far beyond what we can see. And Liz, here's the thing. Growth doesn't happen in isolation. So whether you're working on building confidence, finding your purpose, breaking free from old patterns, you need a foundation and an agape love. That style of love is that foundation, like the superhuman framework type of love that we're talking about, fuels compassion so that you can forgive yourself when you fall short. The superhuman framework type of love builds trust in your relationship so that you can have the support you need to go further. The superhuman framework type of love creates a sense of belonging so that you're not navigating life from a place of fear or scarcity. And I'll be honest, when I first started thinking about love in this way, it felt awkward and, and difficult and. But definitely not soft and squishy. It felt more firm and foundational. Listen, love is the most resilient force there is. It's not about being weak or overly sentimental. It's about standing firm in your values, making choices that honor you, your humanity and the humanity of others around you and, and being, dare I say, brave enough. Because this does take bravery, but being brave enough to embrace life fully. So many of us spend so much time living life half assed, but if we can embrace it fully, this type of love, and I promise I'm almost done, this type of love breaks the cycle of self doubt. It fuels the courage for us to try again and it helps us see the beauty in the journey that we're on, even in the messy, imperfected moments that we all have. So, like, it's a big deal. But when we're looking through it at the agape love style lens, hearing you.

Talk about it, it reminds me of this thing I've seen a lot where people say balance isn't a noun, it's a verb. It's very similar. You know, people talk about finding love, discovering love, experiencing love, as if it's a thing that we either like, you know, uncover like a really cool rock on a hike, or like you go to Starbucks that somebody gives you a delightful cold Brew, like, something that's, like, given to you when in reality, love. And this includes romantic love. Right. I think we've done a lot of scaffolding here to try to not necessarily distance ourselves from romantic love, but it is a part of this narrative. It's this idea that, like, love is something you do, it is something you choose, it is something you cultivate. And we really focus on this idea of how can we create it for ourselves. I remember writing about this in the newsletter once where I was talking about the fact that there's this opposition in the world. Right. If you want something to happen, you should probably do the opposite because it's a natural physical thing in the universe. Right. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Right. So if you want to make a dessert, a sweet dessert, really sing. Don't add more sugar, add salt. Want to find proof of God? Study science. Like, for example, Carl Sagan. People often think he's a profound atheist. He's not. He's written extensively, or he had written extensively about that. But one of my favorite ones is, if you want to find the love, the true love that you desperately seek, don't try to love somebody else first. Love yourself. Fascinating. So here's where I want to take this conversation. We've talked a bit about love in a vacuum. By itself. We've alluded to where it fit in the framework. But I'd love you to take us on a journey a little bit deeper. When you think about love and how it is a servant of the foundation that amplifies the other three, which are purpose, passion, and persistence, where do you see it taking us? What is its role? What does it do? Because I think you could look on paper and see passion and love. You might artificially conflate those. Purpose. That's supposed to be the thing that gives you direction. It's the thing that wakes you up. It's your why. So how does love fit in? How is it different?

Yeah, Liz, I love this question. Because it's not just another cornerstone of the suprema framework. Again, air quotes for those of you listening on just another. It really is a force that breathes life into everything that we do and every piece of the framework. When you lead with love, you're not just walking a path, you're building one where passion, purpose, and persistence have the ability to thrive and be enabled to do the things that you're trying to do and go the places that you're trying to go. Purpose is rooted in love. Think about, like, for a hot Second most meaningful goals that you've had come from a place of empathy, from wanting to connect or contribute to something bigger than yourself. Or even if it's personal goals, there's like, self empathy for the place that you're at versus the place that you want to be. Love aligns your actions with your values, keeping your purpose grounded and real. And when you approach your purpose with love, it deepens your commitment. It's no longer just about I'm chasing a goal, but it's about honoring what truly matters to you. Now, when I think about passion, passion starts with love. Because love creates a space where you can be your true self. No fear, no judgment, just authenticity. And when you're truly yourself, it's easier to find what excites you, what lights you up like that fire in your belly, if you will. Love also fuels the passion through connection. It's the support of others that keeps the fire burning. And most importantly, love protects you from burnout. And again, had plenty of times in my life where I'm like super passionate and oh my gosh, I feel like I need to take a nap. But when it's rooted in love, it reminds you to care for yourself, to set boundaries so that your passion stays sustainable. Persistence, right? The one we always talk about last but dang on it. Without love, persistence can feel just like a grind. But when it's rooted in love, it actually transforms love.

Love can be perfectly honest.

Yes.

If I don't love something, I'm not persistent. I am making the choice to not be persistent. I had to jump in there, like, just because I was thinking about this yesterday and the past couple of days when you and I've been working on this project. There's a project we are working on that we are so excited to bring to you guys. I don't want to talk about it too much or give too much away, but it was only working those late nights doing those things because it's. It's an act of love. There is no persistence without love. I'm just sad and angry. It's not persistent.

Yeah, in this case, love, what it's doing is it's strengthening. And again, I can't wait to get to this episode. But it's strengthening your resilience. It gives you the self compassion to rise after a fall and then the perspective to actually see the failures as growth. And there are a lot of failures in my life where when I was going through them, I did not see it as growth at all. But in hindsight, there was massive amounts of Growth happening at these failure points. And so love, in this instance, it also connects you to others. You're not. Not persisting alone. You're leaning on a community. It's about giving and receiving the support. And again, that's a lot of why we're doing what we're doing with this podcast in the Superhuman framework and things in the future is creating that community, creating that support. But love also reminds you why you're doing it, which, when you remember the why of why you're doing it, it's very much easier, or it's easy to be persistent. It's not just about the goal, by the way. It's about caring, right? Caring for the journey, the people, the impact. Or as I like to say, you listen for any length of time, the ripples that you're actually creating. And listen, listeners, I want you to think of love as the soil in which passion, purpose, and persistence can grow. Without love, passion can burn out or become misdirected. Purpose can feel hollow or disconnected for humanity and. And persistence can become, well, frankly exhausting, leading to burnout rather than sustained progress. But when I think of the Superhuman framework and agape love is present. Passion becomes contagious, inspiring both yourself and others. Purpose becomes a shared journey deeply connected to something bigger than yourself. And persistence feels natural because it's driven by care, not just sheer willpower. Listen, love is the foundation because it amplifies the humanity within the other cornerstones. It reminds us why we care in the first place, why we pursue our passions, why we dedicate ourselves to our purpose, and why we find the strength to persist along the way. Love keeps us connected to the heart of our journey. When you lead with love, everything else aligns. It's the force that makes being superhuman both possible and powerful. But, Liz, what are your thoughts?

Mine are simple. I just don't see the point of anything without love. I'll even admit, you know, going into this episode, I think it is very easy for someone listening who may be in a dark place to feel like, well, George and Liz are sitting there and they've kind of got it all together right? Well, first of all, no news flash, kiddos. I am 17 traumatized gerbils in a trench coat just trying to make this work. So that's number one. Number two, I can acknowledge, you know, I. I'm very lucky that I get to do work that I love. I'm in a happy relationship. I am in a very different place than I was maybe a year and a half ago. But I will say, even Then. And if you've been with us for a long time, you know, I was a very different Liz even then. Love was the reason I still got up. Now, granted, some of those mornings were like, well, what are you going to do? Stop breathing? Are you going to explode? You gotta, you gotta keep going. And in those dark moments, it wasn't that I was able to grasp on love everywhere, all around. It would be little things like I love George and I love the work that we are doing. So I'm just going to focus on that micro pocket of love today and I don't need to find it anywhere else or I'm going to go out on a weekend and sit in the woods and just love that little bit of sunshine on my face. That's what I think we mean when we say it is a choice, is that sometimes when it is very dark, it is very easy to become catastrophic in your thinking and you just have to make the choice to find it. There were days last year I did not want to wake up and I would have to say, well, I love the fact that George and I are going to go help someone today. Or I love how George has shown up for me, so I'm going to pay it back even though I don't want to, and show up and it's those little things. So when I say, where do I see it fitting into the framework? I'm not. There is no persistence if I don't love what I'm doing, it feels like punishment, you know? Now granted, like it's called, it's called work. It's not called happy fun, recess, explosion, parade time. But there are times where it's like, am I enjoying this task? No. Do I love what is it in, what it is in service of? Yes. Do I love the people I'm working with? Do I respect them? Right. Or when I think about passion, passion is explosive. It's fiery, but it's gotta be like a controlled burn, right? Passion are those big bursts of energy. It's the thing that like lights you up, but you can't be on fire all the time, right? We were talking about how love stories in Hollywood end, right? When the real story of love begins. Love is what keeps you going in those moments where it's like, man, if I did not choose to love this person, these would be really difficult decisions to make. To have the tough conversations to show up when you would really rather just be taking a nap or doing anything else. When I think about purpose, my purpose and my why is because I genuinely love Other people, even though I act like an anti social potato, you know, my purpose of being a catalyst for catalysts changing the world for people who are meant to change the world is because I have a genuine love of humanity. And so I look at the gifts that I have been given by God and say, this is the way I am meant to show up and help. And it's very challenging because it's actually an act where I thought it was my love of other people. And it's made me realize I've had to cultivate a love of myself in order to do it well in any sort of sustainable way. And I'm not quite there yet. We're working on it. We're baby stepping, we're trying. But you know, when I think about the superhuman framework, that's how it comes together.

Small steps in the right direction eventually get you to the place you're trying to go.

Exactly. So you shared that love isn't just a feeling, it's an action. We've talked a lot about this, but we've talked a lot about it in the abstract. Like, I think I could hear some chucklehead listening to us right now. But it's great that you call it a choice, guys. What does it actually look like? So take me through what an active practice of love looks like in your daily life.

Yeah, so I mean, listen, we've got to embody love as an active practice. And the easiest way is to start small, like intentional. And I literally, I was like, small steps will get you to your destination. Like intentional, actionable steps. Now, with that said, some things that I've talked about on this podcast before, but I inherently try to do in life and I think that are tied to this is things that, you know, again, they might sound easy when I say them, but they might be difficult in practice. But the place I want to begin is like by listening fully, but to yourself and others. And when I say listen fully, what I mean is listen fully with empathy. Listen fully without judgment. Now, again, you're going to need to turn off devices and find space and time and ways to quiet the noise to truly do the thing that I just said. And it might sound easy as I'm like, yeah, listen fully. Oh, okay, George, Check. Got it. I listen, it's not that easy for most of us. The other thing, and I remember when I was a kid, this was more prevalent and I don't know if it was because I was growing up in Montana or if it was just the time that we lived in, but like, dang Gone it show some kindness, like, even when it's inconvenient, and try to like, care deeply in every interaction. Whether it's just that you're offering somebody encouragement or you're literally setting boundaries for yourself that need to be set, or you're simply just trying to be present, like kindness and caring. I don't know what the last time anybody opened a door for me or I saw somebody open a door for somebody else is so few and far between. And like, let's just talk about for a second. How do you do that in a digital world? And are we even thinking about how to do it in a digital world again? It may sound easy, but I can quickly, quickly recall times that I've failed astronomically when these life opportunities to be kind and care came my way. If I had a rewind button, I would rewind and I'd be like, oh dang, I should have done it this way. I literally had one of these last night, by the way. My wife got back from a trip and when I was growing up, my parents had this board that they would put a wheel of Swiss cheese on and there was a glass topper that would go on it. And we have the glass topper, but we don't have the wooden board. And my wife was like, hey, I got this while I was in Amishtown. And immediately my brain was like, oh, well, there's no ring around it where the glass will sit in, the glass will fall off. And then I walked away to do something and I was like, well, shit, I rewound. And I walked back over to my wife and I literally said, hey, I'd like to rewind that moment. And I looked at her and I just said, thank you. And I gave her a kiss because she was thinking about me. She did this thing for me and here I was like, but there's no ring around the Just be kind and care that somebody cared. The main thing is to remember that these love, by the way, that was a small gesture. I rewound, I was purposeful, I came back, I re engaged in the way that I felt like I should initially instead of my knee jerk response. So the main thing is to remember that love isn't about these grand gestures. It's about consistently showing up with compassion, showing up with integrity, showing up with the willingness to connect, and also seeing when you're actually doing the exact opposite of thing that you should be doing based on that it's rooted and you're rooted in love. Listen, just start with small acts of love. Today, just small. Find small ways, rewind a conversation, open a door for somebody. Care, set, care about yourself, set a goal, set up, whatever, whatever. Just. But start with small acts of love today. And I would beg you to watch. Maybe you'll document, maybe put it in your notes app. I don't care what you do, but watch how the ripples, it just ripples through your entire life. Because, ladies and gentlemen, for every curse, I should probably do some type of biblical thing. So for what you reap, you sow. Or for what you sow, you reap. Anyway, you get my point.

What I love about what you said is that these are the types of things where people have been told, given this advice before, right? Say something nice to someone else. Say something nice about yourself. Go out of your way when you're feeling like a trash can to say, I'm going to take a moment and just say what I love right now or what makes me happy. That's what's so hilarious about some of these things, right? It's not these grand gestures, these grand moments of lightning.

Yeah. It's nothing earth shattering. It's just simple reminders of being like a good human.

Oh, yeah. Like, I'll be honest, I was just talking about how one of the reasons I was able to be persistent in this project we're working on is because there is love flowing through every ounce of my body when I'm working on it. And then there were times earlier this week when I was chugging dayquil like it was my job. I could not breathe. I just wanted to nap. But I knew I needed to keep going. And for our listeners at home, George is not a slave driver. I was doing this by choice. He probably would have told me to take a nap. There was a moment where I'm like, I would literally rather be doing anything right now. I would. I would love to become one with the carpet on the floor. I would love to not be doing this. And I'm like, just name one thing you love right now about what you're doing. And ladies and gentlemen, this is the dumbest thing. But I'm like, when I type on my keyboard, my words feel important because of the sound it makes and how it feels under my fingertips. But I also really like or love that the words I'm typing are ones that actually matter. And that was a big thing for me because it rooted me not only back into my purpose, it started with something silly, right? Like, I just like the way the keyboard feels. It feels good. My words are important, right?

Yeah, it's not silly, by the way.

But yes, it rooted me back, though, because I said, well, why does it matter now than other times when I write? And I was thinking, like, you know, five years ago I was still doing work that I really enjoyed and really loved. But these words matter. They're rooted. And I'm like, okay, just take another swig and keep going. Blow your nose, move on.

Let's go. Nyquil.

Yeah, no, well, no Dayquil, because otherwise you're just getting gibberish from me. Nyquil. Nyquil. You're getting sonnets that make no sense, like love letters to popcorn. But it reminds me, you know, let's get biblical for a moment because we need to balance the S word. It reminds me of my favorite proverb. This is a proverb that has actually haunted me. It keeps showing up actually in front of me all the time. It's one of those things where it's not once, not twice, not thrice. It is constant. It has been stalking me for years. Started when I bought a necklace on Amazon that I just thought was pretty. And then on the back it just said Proverbs 4. 23. And then it just kind of started showing up everywhere. And it says, above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. And that's why love is a choice. You know, you don't have to suddenly walk out the door and in order to achieve a daily practice, become a kindness machine where you become a servant to the point of self sacrifice. It is being purposeful, it is being intentional. It is about cultivating the right communities, entering the right spaces, and then letting your love flow. So that's what I love about it. Self love often, though, feels like the foundation for all other kinds of love. I mentioned that. Like, I'm so I'm asking this question for a friend, and by friend, I mean me. Yet it is. It is the most difficult for, quote, unquote, many Liz to embrace. I would be curious to hear how your journey with self love has evolved and how does it empower the pursuit of these other cornerstones? Right? Because it's not just the act of love. It carries through everything else like we've talked about.

I mean, listen, when we started to work together two more than two years ago.

It's like two and a half years ago.

Yeah, two and a half years ago. I was having an identity crisis where I was continually trying to run away from the old George, right? This is where the show up as a whole ass human conversation happened and how we've kind of repurposed and retalked about and bring that up over and over again. But my, my journey with self love has been probably one of the most transformative aspects of my personal growth. Like and that's saying a lot because I focus on a lot of things when it comes to like who I'm growing, who I'm trying to be. But for the longest time I didn't even realize. This is going to sound sad to hopefully everybody but I know as I'm getting ready to say it, like I didn't realize that self love was something I had to intentionally cultivate like intentionally pay attention to intentionally like listen, I had this belief that love for others, family, work, purpose, you know, should, should always come first. But there was kind of a lesson that I learned that you, you can't truly give what you don't already possess. If I don't have five bucks, I can't give you five bucks. If I don't have love for myself, how am I really giving you love? I can't borrow it from somebody else to give to you. And so listen, trust me when, when I tell you there was a time where, where I most had zero love for myself. Like I did not like the human that I was or where I was going. But self love began for me as this realization that I as flawed, as screwed up, as crazy of background of where I came, that I'm worthy not just of what I have accomplished but of and for who I am. Imperfections and all this shift, this understanding empowers now everything else in my life. This understanding of how important self love is and making sure that my cup is full so that I can and fill others. It amplifies my passion by allowing me to pursue as you've seen in starting multiple businesses along the way, to truly pursue what lights me up. And by the way the beautiful part of that is it's free from the fear of judgment, free from the like failure or perceived what would be failure. It grounds my purpose because I see myself as someone capable of meaningful contribution. Now I know that sounds like a simple sentence but again historically I didn't know if I had anything to contribute to the world. I was a high school dropout, I couldn't even stay in the Navy because of a medical honorable discharge. Like I was homeless for a while. Like I mean who am I to say I'm going to contribute anything. But this idea of self love and making sure that again filling and paying attention to self to then help others. It also fuels my persistence because I can now Meet failure with grace, knowing that my worth isn't tied to the outcomes of the actions that I'm taking. Here's the thing that I hope everybody can realize is self love. It is just like we're talking about love in general. It's a practice. Self love is a practice. Self love is a choice. And it's a choice and a practice that we all need to make and do daily. It's a choice to treat ourselves with the same kindness, patience, and respect that we would for a dear friend, or in many of our cases, a perfect fricking stranger. But we won't for ourselves. But anyway, when we do, it becomes the foundation that supports not only your growth, but your ability to amplify the lives of others, the humans that matter, the. The circle that you have brought around you. Anyway, Liz, what. What are your thoughts?

You know, you. You often remark in these episodes, oh, this is the question that got me. This is the question where it kind of caught in my throat. One of the things I've never said out loud is I often will have the same response. And I have this with my writing and I have this with all of the pod prep that we do is that occasionally. And I joked about this like, I will write a newsletter that I don't realize I will need three months from now. I've been reevaluating our newsletter strategy. I know I have some of our subscribers listening. Don't you worry, I'm coming back to your inboxes. But I went back and I reviewed and I'm like, it's like a little time capsule where I was writing exactly what I needed for myself later on. I don't always know who I'm writing to. Sometimes it's to me. And it's the same thing with these questions. I will be honest. Self love is the place where I always struggle. I grew up in a very critical, critical household, and in many ways it shaped the precision I use for my words. It is both the thing that gave me my greatest gifts and the thing that caused me the most pain there. And what I. What I still struggle with sometimes is it. And I would recommend if anybody resonates with this, we have an episode that's dedicated to it. Self love is so, so deeply tied to self forgiveness because often where I fall down is that like, I know I'm leaps and bounds better than I used to be. And I also know sometimes I don't make choices I completely love. And those, those bad choices don't come from malicious places. Sometimes they come from Fear, sometimes it just comes from being a dumb human and we're dumb humans who something sometimes. And it's that getting back up that's so hard because the self love will feel so fragile. Like I'll finally get to a point where I feel like I'm killing it, I'm crushing it. And then something happens and it's just like you look in the mirror and go, am I ever going to outrun that? But then it becomes a catch 22. Right. Because the whole point is to realize you were always lovable to begin with. And it's this merging where, I mean, I preach the gospel of whole ass human while barely holding myself together with scotch tape. And it's really challenging for me sometimes to feel that self love because then you wake up and go, well, what's the point if I'm just going to end up back in this spot always making the wrong decision? And it, it's hard. But that's again where it becomes a choice. And I'm forcing myself to make the choice. But I'll be damned if it doesn't hurt like hell sometimes. And I just wanted to throw that out there. If anybody has feelings like that, you know, self love is this, this beautiful ideal. And sometimes it can feel so, like frustratingly like fractions of an inch out of reach and it makes you feel different and broken.

And those forgiveness episodes are a amazing pairing with the conversation that we're having right now around self love. Because that was literally one of the biggest keys, was like, all right, dude, you were a dummy. But it's okay. Move forward, don't forget. Otherwise you make the same mistake, but go ahead and forgive yourself. It's a super powerful moment in one's life.

Yeah. And I mean, worst case scenario, if you really feel like you screwed up, go both sides of the coin. If somebody else was involved, apologize. And then if, if you have the, this is a dumb thing, but if you have the data point and the evidence that someone else is willing to forgive you for a mistake, then like, maybe it's okay to forgive yourself too.

Yeah.

But that's, I think where I often struggle the most is that weird thing where it's like, I know I'm. And you've been on this journey too. Like, you know, you're making better choices. You're, you know, you're doing better, you're getting that 1% better each and every day. But then there are these like, fragments of our past selves that will sometimes just show up. Like these unhealed versions of Ourselves will just kind of. Hello. Remember being afraid? Do you remember hiding? Do you remember self sabotage? Because you're too scared of. Of actually seeing the light and scary.

Self sabotage, by the way, could be like a future episode. But anyway.

Oh, it's coming after resilience. Resilience is next. Self sabotage.

Oh, well, that one moved right up the line, didn't it? But.

Oh, heck yeah, let's move on, because this vulnerability is making me itchy. So this actually kind of taps into the same thing a little bit. You know, people struggle with fear, past disappointments, or sometimes even societal expectations that cloud their ability to embrace love fully. Whether that's for ourselves, whether that's for others or their purpose. What are ways in which people who may be struggling right now can begin to shift their mindset and approach love as a tool for growth? And our favorite word, resilience.

It's funny, because nobody said love would be easy, but sometimes we want it to be. Listen, if. If love feels out of reach, you know, or maybe it's because we see it as like this soft, distant ideal that's for those other folks who've got their ish together. They've got it all figured out. First of all, they don't, so I'll personally say I don't. Here's the thing. Love doesn't magically erase fear or pain. It doesn't mean everything's going to be perfect or easy. Love makes you adaptable. Love makes you open. Love is the thing that will enable you to be connected. But to use it as a tool, we might have to shift how we see it. And I think that begins with our mindset choosing to approach love differently as an action. And we've alluded to this, by the way, the entire podcast, but it's like taking it from that, like Hollywood Roses, Instagram, love and the mindset of choosing to approach love differently as an action and even a way of being. All right, we're human beings and love as a way of being. I want you to put that in your brain for a little bit, because there's three things that I want the listeners to think about. Acknowledge and name your barriers. Reframe love as a daily practice and choose connection over perfection. Now, the first step is awareness. So that's why I want to talk about, acknowledge and name your barriers. Fear, past disappointments. You mentioned societal expectations list, so we'll even throw that in there. Can create walls that block love. They block love for yourself. They block love for others. They block love for you to tap into Your purpose as a human. You have to dismantle those walls. To dismantle those walls, you need to name them, you need to see them, you need to understand them. You need to take time to reflect or journal and try to answer questions to give you the visibility of those walls that are blocking. And so you might ask the question, think about journal. What's stopping me from fully embracing love? Is it the fear of vulnerability? Which, by the way, we've done an episode on vulnerability. Is it the weight of past failures? You see, by taking time to name these barriers, you take away their power and you, as the human, start to lay the foundation for real change. So make sure you've written those questions down. Rewind if you need to, and think about those. Next up, I want to talk about Reframe love as a daily practice Again. It's a. It's a constant theme in this episode. Many of us humans view love as something external, earned, conditional, or even transactional. Well, I'll do this for you if you do this for me. That's love. No, you have to shift that mindset by embracing love as again, a daily active practice. Love isn't just a feeling. Love is your actions. Love is the small intentional steps of self care. Love is the steps of forgiveness for yourself and others. Love is the showing of kindness. Maybe ask yourself daily, what's one small way that I can show love today? Kind of rhymes, but not really. But what's the way? Does something immediately when I asked that question pop into your brain? What's one small way I can show love today? It might be as simple as giving yourself grace, something that is hard for many of us to do when we stumble. Or maybe it would even be just the fact that you can express gratitude to someone who's supporting you or have done something for you. But over time, these actions build resilience and deepen your ability, your capacity for growth. Last thing I want to talk about here is, and definitely not the least of three, by the way, but choose connection over perfection. Society, this world that we live in, this digital AI driven man, there's. There's just so much pressure for us to perform, pressure for us to be perfect. But the funny thing is, love flourishes in imperfection. Like, that's when it is its best. True connection, whether with yourself, with others, or your purpose, comes when you let go of needing to have it all figured out. For me, I have this little statement I lean on a lot and, and I say it to myself, but it's just like let go and Let God, meaning I don't need to be in control. And here's a tip I've learned, and I think it'll help you. Hopefully, instead of asking, am I doing this perfectly? Ask am showing up authentically. It's a completely different direction that we need to force our brain in more authenticity over perfection. Like this shift frees you to embrace love as it is, by the way, not a dozen perfect colored roses or a Hallmark card or movie. It shifts and frees us up to embrace love as messy, as human, and as transformative, because that's what love can do for us. Liz, I know you leaned in there. What. What are your thoughts?

I think what it really comes down to is a kind of quippy sentiment I hear people say a lot, at least for me, which is say. Is to say the quiet part out loud. I think sometimes what can happen is these past disappointments, these fears, these societal expectations, or even what I was talking about earlier, where you have these moments of just. Just feeling like a. Like a freaking failure. You know, there's even a part of me right now, George, as I'm sitting here, where I'm like, I'm loving the work that I'm doing, and I could point to a thousand little things that I wish I was already doing better that remind me of where I've come from rather than where I'm going. And I think this is where connection comes in. This is where we have to understand that often it's not that our fears are imagined or the feelings we have around disappointments are invalid because that's toxic positivity. That's. Well, just smile your way through it, cookie. Like, that's not. No, but they do get smaller and more manageable and more contextualized in reality when you talk to somebody else, when you just say the quiet part out loud. I'm afraid I messed up. I did this thing. I don't know if I can get over this. I don't know if I can move forward. And sometimes all it takes is literally a person looking across from you and saying, you got this. Oh, shit. I've been there. I've seen you stand up before. You know, some of my greatest moments over the past year is when George is verbally giving me a little kick in the pants going, you can do better. I know you can do better. What? No, it's not. Well, sometimes it's. You've got this. And sometimes it's like, ma', am. Ma'. Am.

Yeah, What?

I know you can do better. What are you doing? You Know, and sometimes somebody's gonna meet you with a verbal kick in the pants. But even that is a reminder of who the flip you are.

Usually the verbal kick in the pants is coming from a place of love.

It always is. Because otherwise, if you didn't care, if you didn't say anything, if you didn't see potential, if you hadn't seen proof, like, and I think that's. So when I think about the one thing you can do differently is, like, just talk to somebody. Just say one little thing out loud and you will be surprised. Like, you're not going to suddenly, like, oh, now I'm not afraid of falling downstairs anymore. Like, it's not all of a sudden everything's going to be better, but it's going to feel more manageable. Like, think about all the brave people in the original Jurassic park, right? They weren't fighting dinosaurs and they weren't able to do all of those crazy things because they weren't scared. They were pissing their pants with fear throughout the entire movie. But they did it scared.

That's funny. I'm not sure how we got a Jurassic park theme in here, but this.

Is like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. I, too, find a way. No, but I think we have this idea that, like, people are able to take action. Whether it's acts of love, acts of purpose, acts of persistence, acts, acts of passion without fear, you just don't let it consume you or you understand that my purpose, my love, my passion, my persistence is greater than the fear that's in front of me. And sometimes all it takes to get to that point is to just talk to somebody else and realize, oh, I am also a fellow human on this planet. The world is not attacking me. Take some solace in the fact that in many ways you are not unique at all. We're all just white knuckling it through this thing called life sometimes. And I will have to listen to this episode later for myself.

Well, and I don't even know if I can move forward because I literally want to ask the listeners, if you could be any dinosaur, what dinosaur dinosaur would you be? But that's not why we're here.

Anyway, 100. Do you have an answer?

Well, Tyrannosaurus rex, but same. Interesting. Wow.

Yeah. Oh, heck yeah. I like her. She's great. She comes and kicks butt in Jurassic World. Although she has very big Danny Glover. I'm getting too old for this s energy. The woman runs out, opens the door, and she's like, I'm trying to watch my stories. I'M trying to watch Days of Our Lives. You need me to save the day again? Like, I love her. She's great. If someone is feeling disconnected from love, whether it's self love or love for others, or even love for their purpose, what is one tiny first step? We talked about daily practices. We talked about actions. But if you give us one tiny homework assignment that anybody can do today, what is it?

Yeah, begin with gratitude. I mean, I could end. I could end right there. Like, begin with gratitude. Take five minutes each and every day. I don't care if it's in the morning, if it's an evening, like it's your schedule. But write down three things that you're grateful for. That's it. Three things. What are you grateful? They can be simple, kind gesture from a friend, a moment of peace and quiet, which is few and far between in some houses. And maybe it's the fact that you're still just trying to do the thing that you're doing and showing up. I don't know what your three things are, but start with gratitude and list three things. Five minutes a day. It's so freaking simple. But we don't do it. The reason.

Why don't you do it right now for us? Model it for us. What are your three things that you're grateful for?

I have so many things that I'm grateful for now. Here's the thing. If I was gonna do this for me, I would probably break it down into a couple pillars. I would do personal, professional, right? Anyway. But if I said three things that I'm grateful for right now. One, I'm grateful for this podcast because we have the ability to actually do something that matters and get into the ears of the people who need to or want to hear it. I don't need it to be huge. I just want it to be impactful for those that actually take time to listen. I'm super grateful for the wife that I have because she allows me to live the dreams, build the businesses, and do the dreaming and scheming that. That only she can allow me to do. And I'm super grateful for this office. Not everybody can step in and have, you know, Mike and a rodecaster. Anyway, soundboard, right? Like monitors and all the stuff that, like, I take for granted on most days right now. I want to take a moment and be grateful for it because it enables to do things that I might not be able to do. Heck, I'm even. I'll just go out on limb here. I'm even grateful for AI because AI is amazing. And some of the stuff that we've been able to do with artificial intelligence. But my point is, like, I could keep going. I'm grateful I woke up this morning because the alternative really sucks. I'm actually really grateful because I haven't been in a lot of pain lately with my arthritis, which is amazing because it makes the day a little bit more like I could keep going, right? But five minutes, three things. Keep it simple. Because gratitude shifts your focus from what's missing, which is what many of us focus on, to what's actually present in your life. And when you're focused on what's present in your life, that's what creates the foundation where love, the thing that we're talking about today, can grow. When you focus on what you're thankful for, you naturally open yourself up to love in all of its forms. Like, and by the way, that's one thing, if you want to get nerdy, just go Google how many different types of love there are. We're. I'm literally talking about like agape love for most of this episode. But there are so many gratitude though. And again, the reason I'm bringing this up is because it softens those walls of fear, softens the disappointment. You may have even built in disconnection into your life by focusing in on gratitude. It reminds you how much good already exists. It just gives us a better place to focus in. So that, that's. Take the first step. Grab a pen, paper, Ask yourself, what's good in my life right now? What am I grateful for? It's just an amazingly quick, small moment of time that is going to make a huge impact, especially if you make it a daily practice. You'll see how full your cup is and how much you have to actually give back. So, Liz, amazingly, we've reached our destination. The end of this episode. But before we go, like, I'm, I'm curious like, like, what's your one thing.

From this episode you're not missing? Love. It's all around you, if you choose to see it. But you have to choose. You have to choose. The thing is, is that when you choose, let's just look at self love, for example. Sometimes self love is going to hurt because it is going to require you to look at yourself wholly in the mirror, the sum of who you are, where you've come from, the choices you've made, and say, I still love you. And I'm going to choose today to wake up and start acting from a place of love. It's interesting. I've Noticed as I've gotten older, when I've experienced moments of feeling genuinely hurt by someone, I've noticed the greater the pain inflicted upon me, the less it usually has to do with me. And I think about, because I, I know there were moments in my life where I've really hurt people. And it very rarely had to do with the person who was in front of me. It was. There was a part of myself I did not love enough to act differently. And so it's going to be hard to make these choices every day. And you can't expect to look around and always be totally in love with yourself or totally in love with your life. There were some mornings last year where the only thing I loved was, you know what? This is really good leftover pizza. And I love it. And that's just what we're gonna run with today. That's just what we're gonna run with today.

That's funny. There's something, there's something about cold pizza and warm beer the next day. I'm just gonna throw that out there.

I gotta be honest. It's a, it's a power combo. I'm not gonna deny it. But, yeah, that's my one thing is that, you know, no one is hid, no one is keeping it from you. You might be the one keeping it from yourself by not loving yourself enough to make choices that align with who you really are. You might be loving yourself not enough by staying in relationships, in communities, in spaces and in rooms where you will always feel like the odd one out because it is not where you belong. But that means there is a community and other people waiting for you. At some point, you have to understand that the one hurting you the most is yourself. But you are worthy of love. And that doesn't make you a bad person. Now, will I take this advice for myself? No, I. I still have a thousand things in my head this morning where I'm literally like, and you did this, and you did this and you did this. And you know what? There's a cheese pizza in my future that I'll throw my love at. And that's fine. But George, what about pepperoni? Sometimes I'm in a pepperoni mood. You know what's good? Pepperoni, Sausage, onions, mushrooms, Pepperoni.

Banana pepper.

But anyway, banana pepper is iconic. Iconic. It's the Tyrannosaurus rex. A pizza topping, things, just saying, bringing it all together. What about you? What's your one thing? What do you want to leave our listeners with today?

You know, I think for me, the. My one thing is that love is not just a feeling, because that's where I lived and where I think so many people live, is that it's like this. It's something that just comes and goes. It's has its fleeting moments. It's not just a feeling, it's a practice. It's a series of small, intentional actions that connect you to you, that connect you to others. And for sure, based on this is around the superhuman framework. Conversation to your purpose, to your passion, to your persistence that will keep you going. And so, listeners, I would start by showing gratitude, embracing imperfection, and choosing connection over fear. I think it's these three simple steps, taking consistent show gratitude, embrace perfection, connection over fear. I think if you do that consistently, that will lead you to a journey, to a life beyond your default.