Work In Progress: George + Liz Reflect on Boundaries, Self-Care, + Mindsets #reflection

Side of the beyond, your default swimming pool. So if it gets scary and you need a life vest or floaties at any point in time, just back up to a different episode and then work your way to this one.

Well, yeah, because this episode is different from our usual runs. Right. Periodically, you and I set aside an episode to check in with each other. We ask each other questions about specific topics we've covered over this podcast with you all, we speak honestly about our wins and our struggles and the surprises we've encountered along the way. Now, here's what's crazy. I didn't realize it was so long ago, but the last time we checked in with each other was right before Thanksgiving, which was almost six freaking months ago. Can you believe that?

I can't believe it. And actually, my coffee mug, Liz thinks that that's just crazy.

Oh, my God.

Now, no, listeners, you can't see what I just did, but I literally lifted up my coffee mug, which today I just kind of grabbed it real quick. Didn't realize what it said, but it literally says the word crazy on it. So now you know why Liz was laughing like, I'm an idiot.

You're not an idiot. It's just something I could see. The dad joke purveyor in you.

Yes.

I'm going to pick this mug, and I'm going to wait for that moment.

That moment.

That moment. All right, so I want to take us back in time before. Before we start our conversation today, I want to share a couple of highlights from our check in six months ago. So, George, back then, your big focus, according to you, was continuing to cultivate the close and purposeful circle of friends, family members, and others as a means to stay grounded. You also talked about that while you were excited about the future and what it could hold, you were also looking at it with a little dose of fear. And I quote, I want to be careful not to lose myself in this process. And so I'm always kind of like, am I doing too much? Am I doing too little? And again, that anxiety and the need for deep breaths and meditation shows up, and I'm like, all right, dude, man, just quit freaking overthinking it and just, like, let it be organic. But is it organic enough? And then the cycle starts all over again. Now, I'm not singling you out. I'm now going to share where I was because your girl Liz was in a state. Personally, I was talking about how I was struggling to be more open and trusting with people, but I was getting better at it. I don't know, I read through that whole conversation. I was like, liz, are you sure?

Who is that human?

Maybe self awareness is like possession and that it's 9/10 of the law. I have no idea.

It's interesting though, Liz, but you say self awareness, but I'm sure that we're gonna circle around into where you put me and what you said. I got a smack in the face yesterday when I was hanging out with people. I got a smack in the face late last week when I was on a call with somebody and both rhymed to the tune of we don't think you know who you are anyway, I'll continue on with where you are at.

Oh, that's gonna be interesting. So my particular niche six months ago was centered around that aspect of being opening and trusting, but also really struggling and working through self forgiveness and how that was my primary focus after what was a very challenging year where I made a lot of changes in my life. I made a lot of mistakes, and I was also learning to, quite frankly, get to know a very new version of me who wanted more and who wanted better. And I would say in the right ways. So here's a little quote of where I was. I think one of the things that has been the most illuminating is realizing that sometimes I was holding myself accountable for things that I did not need to hold myself accountable for. That I was making myself responsible for the feelings of other people and not understanding that I am not responsible for everything because that's how I was trained to think growing up. And I've learned that self forgiveness is hard, but you also have to make sure that you are looking at your life. Clearly. Since that conversation, we've grown quite a bit. We've also talked about a lot of new topics since then. Just a scotch. Just a smidge.

Just a tiny bit.

We've talked about imposter syndrome. We've talked about being present. We've talked about finding happiness when all feels lost. We've talked about seasons of life, our relationship with failure, setting healthy boundaries, toxic morning routine, myths, making the choice to embody a victor mentality, anger, growth, mindsets. So much more. So in this episode, our second installment of work in progress, we're gonna curl each other a little bit. I'm gonna ask George some questions about his beyond your default journey. And you get to do the same for me.

I'm excited about that part. The part where I get to ask the questions, not. Not the other.

But yeah. Which is why exactly we're gonna start with you, George. I'm A little curious as you heard me share about where you were six months ago. What do you wish you could go back and tell yourself during that first check in?

I think I would go back and tell myself maybe a couple things. The first thing I would probably tell myself is make sure you're focused on the right things. And what I mean by that is not what you think are the right things, but taking the time to actually figure out what the right things are to be focused on. Because I think sometimes I worry and focus on things that the external world have default states of. Well, of course you wouldn't do that. And of course you would be this way. And of course this is the action that would be taken. And of course you're killing it. Meanwhile, I'm over here focusing on, well, not the right things. That's the first thing that I would probably tell myself is like if you could free yourself from these micro things that you allow yourself to get lost in, this will give you the time to focus on the unlock secrets of your life and other people's lives around you. The other thing that I would probably tell myself at that first check in is just because you're doing good doesn't mean you'll continue to do good. So how about you focus on how to consistently do and be good.

Can you be specific when you say do good? What does that mean?

When we hit that other check in, I was doing my morning meditation, my morning Bible reading, had like this daily regimented. Woke up, took a shower, got dressed, sat down, had these moments and I felt really good. And I had also started back on this and I've done this now about four times. This. Okay, it's time to get back on the healthy George kick. It's time to get back on the let's start doing walks kick. I was right in the mode in that check in of kind of both of these items like happening and going. And then it was shortly after that I think I went on vacation and it was like it all just came crumbling down because of the lack of consistency. And so I feel like since the last check in, in this check in right here, which by the way, I can't believe we're recording episode 37. It's freaking mind blowing to me, I know considering this is a weekly podcast and I think maybe we've missed one or two, maybe one week, but anyway, not why we're here. And so I am fundamentally sick and tired of my own excuses. There is no easy way to put it other than that right there of like dude, just quit being a dick and do the things that you know you're supposed to do in the morning. And so I'm excited because we're sitting here on this check in. And yesterday it's funny because one of the things you talked about is cultivating a group of close friends and people to go on the journey with. And yesterday we literally had a half day where we were at the pool, we were hanging out with friends over at their house, multiple sets of families were together. And one of my buddies was like, hey, what do you guys think about waking up at 7:00'? Clock? And then he paused, he goes, george, when do you wake up? And I said, why wake up at 5:15? He goes, Never mind, let me go with my original thought. He goes, what do you guys think about waking up and meeting at 7 o' clock to go for morning walks? And this is like a group of men. I immediately said, yes. Like, yes, let's do this. Because it's the accountability that I may have been seeking to have the consistency that I need so that I can mentally check off in my brain. I did this thing, I feel good about myself. I am moving in a right and good direction. So that's what I mean by good. And continuing to stay in that vein. Like when we set the patterns, when we set the routines, when we say this is what we want to do and we fall off of that. It isn't just the ramifications of what we've fallen off of. It's the mental battle that can be allowed to happen in our brain because we fell off the thing. Like, will I gain weight because I'm not walking? Yes. But also I'll beat the crap out of myself in my brain. Will I not have the same immediate knee jerk reaction to empathy, love, listening more, talking less, not getting angry as easy because I'm not doing my devotions and meditation? Yes. But there'll also be a war that will ensue inside my brain. That's about as specific as I can get. Liz.

Wow, that's an incredible pivot from where you were.

Yeah.

How does that feel to see how far you've come?

It's really weird where my brain just went, but I don't know if I have the proper measuring stick to actually understand how far I've come. Even though you're sitting here going, wow, that's amazing. From that to this, I'll say it feels good to know that I am willing to say and believe that my own excuses can be the roadblock to who I need to become in the future. And I'll probably talk more about that as we go through this. But I also feel good just being able to have the strength internally, emotionally, to get to the point to be able to. Yeah, that's. No, actually, I'll continue on. Like, one of the conversations I had yesterday was literally about how most humans don't think or do or act. This was not me saying this, by the way, in the way that most people look at me and feel like my default way to think and be and act is. And because it's my default. Not in the negative sense, but it's because it's my default. And I just think it's normal. I have the lack of understanding how for many people, they look at it and think that it's this spectacular thing. Not in, like, a grandiose, like, let's think, oh, Almighty. Not like that, but like, there's just a sliver of life that I think I need to pay attention to more pertaining to who I actually am and how I'm showing up. And to have that insight makes me happy. Liz, I'm tired of talking for a hot minute. So what would you share with yourself if you could go back to that moment, to that first check in and say, hey, girlfriend, guess what?

I need you to take several seats. You know, if I was talking to myself six months ago, I'm the one who wrote this question, and now having it turned back on me, I'm a bit conflicted about it because I have conflicting things. I. I'm so. I'm sure you're so happy. There are conflicting things I want to say to myself. You know, one is that you're. You're on the right track. You know, you're. You're doing the work. You're in the messy middle. You are okay. You are more okay than you realize you are. I think I was starting to realize it, which was part of that excerpt I read from that conversation where I said I had to look at my life clearly and not be as responsible or hold myself as responsible for certain things. On the flip side of that, I think I had really demonized myself for the things I knew I had done. I mean, I was treating myself at some points like a war criminal. You know, I was just holding myself to these completely unrealistic standards and actually not even getting close to forgiving myself for anything. I think the other thing I would realize is that. Or I would tell myself is that you have more people in your corner than you realize. You don't have A bunch of people waiting for you to fail. You have a bunch of people waiting for you to win.

Yes.

And it took me a really long time to see that. And the reason why that switch for me was important is the story I've been telling myself ever since I was a kid is you're not enough. You literally have people in your life telling you that you're not, that you are the disappointment that you are not, that it doesn't matter what you do. You are. You were born the failure and disappointment. You will remain the failure and the disappointment. And that type of programming just got really stuck in my head and it impacted every little decision I was making. Well, of course this is hard. You can't do it. Well, of course you're behind. You're the failure. Why even bother? Why even try? And it was this insidious death by paper cut story that really has lived at the heart of so many things. The decisions I've made, the belief structures I have about the role I play in other people's lives, what people actually think. Like, I want to go back and tell myself, you're so close to breaking through your own Truman show like, barrier to the real world. You're not living in reality. You are not thinking in reality. Now, do I still catch myself dealing with. Yeah, just because I intellectually understand something doesn't mean I'm already perfectly at every moment of the day living in accordance with now what I understand to be true. But that's the big thing that was waiting for me on the other side of this. You are not as alone as you think you are. And since you have done the work of cultivating, like you, George, I got really clear on who I wanted in my life over the past year. And it hurt like hell.

Yeah.

But now that I have the right people around me, they're not waiting for me to lose.

Yeah. And that's the type of people you want around you. Liz, it's crazy. When you were talking about paper cut, you like, it's like death by a thousand paper cuts. I'm like, I don't know about you, but I can deal with a paper cut. Like, okay, it hurts. But like, to me, when you were explaining that the visual in my brain was like emotional, psychological, mental grenades or landmines might even be a better thing. Because as you're going through this journey, it's like you hit this landmine, it just kind of explodes in your brain. Here's the thing, what I want to do before we move on to some of these more poignant questions I would ask the listeners. If you've been with us since the last check in, how would you answer this question? Or even if you just want to think about the last 30 days or 60 days in your life and you could go back to that moment in time if you weren't listening, what would you say to yourself that you're now having these realizations around? Because I think when you put your brain in a direction of vocalizing something to your earlier self, it unlocks something in yourself in the now. And that's really important. So listeners, what would you tell yourself? 30 days, 60 days, or since the last check in? If you are a longtime listener, again, you don't have to tell us. If you want to hit reply to our newsletter. If you want to email us, we're here. But at least do it for yourself.

Yeah, absolutely. Reach out to us at any time. Liz default.com and george@beyondyourdefault.com Yep, yep. George, you're back in the hot seat. Are you ready?

I'll say yes in the most no, I'm not way possible.

But basically, yes, I'm ready because I made the choice to show up to this recording emotionally. This is a cry for help. Okay, got it.

That kind of thing. Without a doubt.

You've talked a lot in previous episodes, not just the check in episode, but we have to talk about this. You've talked about wanting to learn how to exercise more patience and letting go of unfair or what you consider to be unrealistic expectations of yourself or others. And don't worry, I look forward to paying for this question later on in the episode.

I feel like sometimes it goes great and then sometimes it goes horribly wrong. I don't know. It's one of those. So one of the things that I've been really focused on lately is understanding that there's going to be hills and valleys in life. And the only battle that I'm really trying to make sure I'm paying attention to is that it's not peaks and canyons I can deal with. Hills and valleys, peaks and canyons get scary to me. Sharp, abrupt lows. Sharp, abrupt highs. I feel like I'm doing great on some of the expectations that I have of myself. Like I have allowed myself to have a little bit more downtime lately than I historically was. I am starting to open up a room where I actually, you know, Friday and Saturday walked for 45 minutes while I was watching this dope AI course that I purchased because I wanted to learn more about artificial intelligence. Of course, before I can translate it into how to actually use it in a human way and in an optimized and streamlined way. But I was learning something new, something I have had a really hard time with since I started the business. And I was moving my body. Something that I was really having a hard time doing since I started the business. But it was me giving me the frickin freedom to make that a priority, Liz. In other words, it was me allowing myself to be a little bit selfish in the most positive way that I could be. And that's what these walks, by the way, going forward with the guys is. Me, I'm going to be selfish. And you know what? Seven o' clock to eight o' clock in the morning. Which by the way means we might have to talk about when we actually record these on Mondays. But anyway, yeah, 7 to 8 in the morning, like I need to make that. I'm going to be selfish. That's going to be my time to, to spend with them and move my body so I can check off a mental box and disarm the landmine or grenade that would be in my mind if I don't do said thing right. With that said on Friday, I had an individual reach out to me and try to have a conversation about where they're at and how they felt. And boy, did I screw that up. I wanted to talk more than I wanted to listen. I wanted to get frustrated because the way that I felt versus actually empathetic to the way they felt. I was already tired, already burnt out, and can just blatantly say that I didn't show up at my best because I broke my own rule of what I expected, what I thought should happen, how I thought they were. And thank God, I'm sorry, because it was just a shitty experience. But I. But I also will say on that I knew that I needed to give myself the space to mentally go, dude, immediately after it happened, by the way, my brain was screaming from the mountaintops, you're an asshole. But I needed time to unpack in my own brain that I actually wasn't being that kind of human, but I just hadn't equipped myself to show up in the best way that I could. So the answer to your question, Liz, is there are some things where I think I'm doing really good at this. But there are other moments and times and other things that I know that like woo. Okay, bro, you, you still have work to do. You have not reached the end of your journey. You cannot lay down and take a nap. You Must get up and actually walk a couple more miles down the road of this thing right here. So that's how I'll answer that.

Two things I want to point out here.

Sure.

Number one, the walking thing. That is not selfish. Do you know what that is, George?

Self care.

Thank you.

I knew you were gonna go with that. I'm like, thank you.

The episode you didn't want to talk about, the episode where you literally slacked me and said, so how do you feel about this outline? You know, the one that you wrote.

Which I was like, great.

And I said, I feel great, George. Talk to you on Monday?

Yeah. And I was like, oh, me too.

We.

So you said two things. Was there something else you wanted to throw in there?

There's one more. What did you say to the other person when you realized what had happened on that conversation?

We have a meeting later today.

I hope that goes well.

Yeah, me too. Me too. I want it to go well. I needed the weekend.

We've all been there.

Yeah. So I'm actually happy that this is going to sound weird. I'm not happy that it happened, but I am happy about the lessons that I can learn from it happening so that hopefully it doesn't happen in the future because I'm sure there will be other humans that will come to me with the way that they feel, and I need to be at my best for that.

I've been there, and I think we've all been on the giving and receiving end of that conversation. If we've been on this little blue marble in space for any length of time.

Yeah.

You know, I've had experiences where I've been on the receiving end of that. And then somebody came to me after and said, so I didn't handle things that well. And I've also been in the. The other seat. I've been where you are, where I've had to say, you know, it was my responsibility that that conversation didn't go well. I should have said I wasn't in the space to have that conversation. So I think it's really powerful, George, that you recognize that, because there's also the third category where I have been vulnerable enough to share my feelings with someone. It goes horribly, but they don't see anything wrong with what happened. That's an even, huh?

Oh, yeah. That's worst case scenario. Okay, Liz. So I'm, I'm. I'm jumping straight the frick out this hot seat for a hot minute. When we did the episode on Seasons of Life. Yes.

Loved that topic.

Yeah. Episode 33 by the way, accepting, navigating and celebrating the seasons of life. You love that topic. But you could fundamentally tell that there were things churning in your brain as we were actually having that episode, as we are kind of having that conversation. And so I'm super curious. How has the conversation about seasons of life changed your perspective in a daily, weekly or monthly observance or decision making direction in your life?

You gotta go right for the jugular on this.

You knew, hey, that's what I'm here for.

I love how you painted the picture of how much I loved this topic. This was my self Care mountain.

Yes.

This was my. I understand that Seasons of Life sounds beautiful and poetic and to the ding dong who created that label, thank you. Because the passage of time and quote unquote, accepting and celebrating seasons of life when we notice them. It I talked about this. It's jarring, it's scary. It reminds us that things come to an end. It reminds us in some cases that we're aging and we're getting older. And I'm starting to trip that wire into I may have more yesterdays than I do tomorrows, as my dad used to say. Now to your question, how has that impacted me? I can always tell when you're like, I want to know what's going on in Liz's brain. Because I could see it happening during that conversation. Ladies and gentlemen, at home I have a tendency, as George knows, to do some deep processing and then the actual gold doesn't pop out until later. I don't know if what I'm about to share is gold by any stretch of the imagination, but I will tell you at least how that conversation has impacted me because there has been a long tail on it if I want to be super duper honest. So I write our newsletter beyond your default for our readers if you want to check it out beyond your default.com/forward/newsletter. And there was a week I was supposed to write about seasons of life and I couldn't do it. So instead I wrote about a grilled cheese sandwich. Ended up being a really powerful piece of content. It was a great piece where I talked about I didn't realize how far I had come. I had spent a lot of time in darkness last summer and then I turned around and started appreciating the small things. And that was how I ended up realizing through the culmination, the accumulation of small things, that my life had gotten really great. The way Seasons of Life stands out to me right now is the thing I have been a hard ass on myself about, is that a decision of today, Liz? Or is that a decision that yesterday Liz would make? Are you surrounding yourself with people who belong in your past? Are you surrounding yourself with people about where you want to go? Are you walking to into the rooms where you belong? Or are you walking yourself into the rooms where you used to trap yourself? Seasons of Life is a very interesting conversation that I've been having with myself over the past month or so since we had this conversation. Because it was only a few episodes ago when we had. It was about a month, I've gotten better at saying, yeah, this is a, an old chapter that is closed and a new chapter that has opened. And it was fascinating to me that this conversation happened. We had of plenty planned this conversation precisely for the month that I had moved, started a huge new chapter in my life, came back to Annapolis after swearing I was never going to come back. And this new chapter on paper has been vibrant and illuminating and supportive. And it's been the best example of leaning into a Seasons of Life mentality that I could have possibly asked for. Like, I'm not living that part where it's a lot of mourning, it's a lot of sadness, it's a lot of metaphorical death that I have to kind of move through. So I challenged myself to think more deeply on it. Because if I am living out the experience of Seasons of Life that is probably in the most holistic and positive way, then why did I avoid writing about it? Why did it make me so uncomfortable? What was it that I was avoiding? The thing I was avoiding was realizing that Seasons of Life isn't a third party retrospective, detached observance of your own life. Like you're a filmmaker. It's waking up and saying, okay, if I'm in a new space and I'm in a new season, am I acting accordingly? Am I making decisions accordingly? Let's go back to the start of this conversation, right? I was talking about how I had that recent realization that people aren't waiting for me to fail. Okay, Liz, then why are you sometimes still acting like it? That's how it's impacting my decision making right now. I don't have it down to a perfect science. Yeah, but I'm one of those people where it's like, once I see something, I can't unsee it. And sometimes that's positive, and sometimes that is just it's still positive, but it hurts like hell. And this is a positive but hurts like hell moment. Because maybe I need to lighten Up a little bit. Maybe not be so hard on myself, because I always find new, spicy ways to be super hard on myself. But one of the things I'm really challenging myself right now is who's making this decision.

I want to jump in here for a second for you, but also for the listeners. And I love that you just said, if I see something, I can't unsee it. So let me mentally show you something. Oh, you said, is that the Liz of now or is that the Liz of the past? And I think there's great power in saying it's the Liz of the now making the decisions versus the Liz of the past making the decisions. But where my mind skyrocketed to is the most fascinating day is when the Liz of the future is making the decision in the now.

Oh, man.

And I just want the listeners to think about, yes, you can make the decision in the you of the now or, and you can make the decision of you in the past. But when you unlock your brain and it's the future you making the decisions to set you up for the success that you can reach, like that excites me. And again, I'm not there. I mean, I try to be there. Sometimes I get a glimpse of it. But that's where. When we talk about this journey beyond your default, it's being able to transport yourself and tune into that. That human and bring it back to where you're at.

Why you gotta be so stinking smart, man?

No, no, not smart. Just. Well, that's a whole different.

Do you want to go another level up?

Sure.

Let's go back to a conversation you and I had last week. Then you get to that moment where you realize the past version, the present version of you and the future version of you all the same, because one does not exist without the other. But that's, you know, that's a level of therapy. Liz is not ready for today, George. This is a happy one. I tried to be nice. I tried not to come at you with a mallet for every single question.

That's all right. I pick up my own mallet.

Yep, we do that. We do that for ourselves and each other. So in the last episode, we talked about the importance of recognizing your own wins. So I'd love to hear you brag for a moment. What's a win you've accomplished on your own, beyond your default journey since we last checked in? And I don't care if it's something that seems small to others, but it's big to you. However you want to Define it. Tell me about a win.

So my immediate knee jerk response was like, hey, I've launched an agency since. And then I was like, dude, shut the up. Like, that's just stupid.

Like, well, it's not dumb, but you had already launched an agency. You just weren't calling it.

I wasn't calling it that. Right. Sidekickstrategies.com did not exist at the last check in. Me showing up as a, you know, whole ass human agency owner really wasn't Like, I was a solopreneur with part of a team, part of a theme, some contractors, but that's not where I want to go, actually, especially on this podcast. One of the biggest wins that I have had since our last check in is I had the opportunity to celebrate my 23rd wedding anniversary with my wife. And here's why it's a win. A couple months before our anniversary, my wife said to me, sometimes I think life is getting boring. And my wife said to me in so many words like, you don't surprise me with things like. And I said, okay. Like, I could get irritated. I didn't actually. I like openly embraced the words that she was saying. And then I went to work and I got a hotel for the weekend about three hours away, and I made reservations for dinner and I told him it was our anniversary. And so there were rose petals and like little plastic thingies on the table of like, I love you and heart on there. And I bought tickets to a comedy show, which, by the way, this hotel also has a casino. My wife likes to play the games a little bit. So do I. So do I. I like me a good table game and maybe a slot machine every now and then. The win for me is that I surprised my wife. The win for me more than that is that I listened to my wife and I took action. The win for me is just tying back to. I want there to be a stronger relationship. I want to make sure I'm showing up the best that I can. I want to make sure that I'm listening and taking action. And historically, my wife has done really, really good at letting me live my dream and become who I felt like I needed to become. And she has been a great supporter and she deserves to be surprised.

That's amazing.

She deserves to have the best life ever.

Is there a past version of you who might have reacted differently?

Oh, yeah. Without. Yeah, there's a guy who would have got really pissed and his ears would have been shut, but his mouth would have been opened. And I'm just not trying to be that guy anymore. Like, I would rather my ears be open and my mouth be shut more than the other way around. So that's the win I want to talk about is like, it's a relationship that matters. It really wasn't that difficult once I started putting the plans in place. But the difference that it made in the impact in the weekend that we were able to have, it was just. It just felt comfortable. It just felt right. So that's the win that I'll share.

What I love about that too is that, you know, you not only surprised her, you not only did all of that for her. When we respond negatively those situations, we rob ourselves of those opportunities for ourselves because she didn't just have the rose petals and the I love yous and the over. You had that. You got to enjoy that.

Oh, yeah, I got to enjoy her enjoying it. That was what brought me great joy.

You're also allowed to enjoy the rose petals.

Yeah, I did. I did. Trust me. I was like, this is kind of fancy.

That's not selfish. That's self care. Yeah.

Oh, it's everything on this episode going to be about self care. My goodness.

You made me talk about a whole feeling in the last question. You watched me give birth to a, you know, nine pound, nine ounces, whole ass feeling. So, yes, you got.

And I'm not done yet, by the way.

You're not. I know.

Yeah. So you did the greatest of, like, morning routine bits in our morning monologue. The monologue of the morning, like the toxic morning routines. But I'm super curious because you were like an episode or so after that. You're like, yeah, I've realized maybe it's not a morning routine. It's like a daily thing maybe. And. And to me, my brain went to like, I'm not going to say anything right now, but man, that sounds wishy washy.

I know.

And so I'm super curious, like, have you landed on or not landed on your morning routines? Have you changed it from daily to morning? And if so, have you been able to be consistent. Consistent in said whatever it is that you've now decided that you want to do first thing when you wake up and greet the world for a new day?

Okay, so you may recall at the beginning of this episode, you talked about how one of the things you liked about this episode is how honest we are about some of the mistakes that we're making.

Yes, ma'. Am.

So I would also like to say present accounted for. I have arrived at class. Okay, jokes aside, this is a place where I am not doing well and two things are true. I could understand why you heard what I was talking about in terms of daily routines as opposed to morning routines is wishy washy. But I'm going to stand by that. So let's go back in time a little bit, because when we had that conversation, one of the things I talked about was that I noticed my morning routine was shifting drastically over the course of the past 18 months. And if you're new to this journey, let me just do a quick recap. Last year, after turning 40, I said, you know what? 2023 is the year I'm going to keep it cool, not make a lot of big life decisions. I just started a business, gotten remarried, all these different things. So of course I got a divorce, I moved, I blew up my entire life, did it intentionally because I knew that was the only. Go back and listen to the thousands of episodes in which I have talked about this. I don't feel the need to relitigate that part of my personal life right now, but these were the right choices I made for me. So lots of elements in my life began to change. When I started last year, I had a morning routine that was sacred. I Woke up at 5:45 in the morning. I had journaling prompts, I had things that I needed to do. I was very, very regimented as I started going through what was happening last year. It's not necessarily that things went off the rails, but I even got more cagey about that morning time, got more regimented about it. And then sometime last summer, everything kind of broke, which was around the time. Actually, no. We had this conversation in late, late fall, but it was around the time I wanted to start having this conversation because everything was kind of going off the rails. Morning routine was just one of the symptoms of that. Right. I wasn't taking care of myself in a lot of ways. And that all came to a head around my birthday. I got to 41 and I was sitting there going, okay, I get it. The 41st year was not what you expected, but it was the year you need to have get up off the ground. And that's when I implemented a health routine, which, by the way, I have stuck with since then. I've stuck with working out or walking at least five or six times a week. I look wildly different. My clothes are fitting differently. I'm healthier than I've ever been. My cardio fitness is better than it's ever been.

Congratulations.

Thank you. But the morning routine is still an unmitigated Train wreck, disaster. And one of the things I said during that episode though was, was that I came to the realization with the help of a therapist that part of the reason I was so good at the morning routine was because it was the only place I felt safe. I would get up so early in the morning and have all of these regimented things because it was the only part of my life or time of day where I had control. Because the situation I was in was not great. It wasn't great for either of us. It was really bad. So I became hyper regimented in that one area of my life. So I gave myself permission. Last year, I think I told you this to just kind of rest. That was really the morning routine I needed. But I will tell you, sitting here today and the reason I share all of that and why I say this is me not doing well, is that I'm out of that period now.

Good.

This is where new and or future Liz is sitting here going like old Liz has had enough naps. What do you want your new morning to look like? Yes, and this is the question that I'm still challenging myself with because rest is super important to me. But I'm not sleeping as well as I used to, even though I'm feeling more calm and less stressed. It's almost like I was living in a house where once a day something would fall off the wall and smash and break. And it did that for, let's say 175 days in a row. And then one day stuff stopped falling off the wall and it hasn't fallen off the wall since. Now, logically, I never wanted things to fall off the wall to begin with. But now the silence is more terrifying than the falling because now I'm waiting for something to fall again. So it's this weird kind of like stress vacuum where it's like I've gotten what I wanted and now my body is regulating itself back to a place of safety. So when I think about my morning routine, the answer, George, no, I have not landed on anything. What I have landed on is that I want to do something as simple as I need to have a stable wake up time. Because I'm doing crazy things like, well, what about 5:00am Liz, do you actually need to get up at 5:00 clock in the morning? Like, what do you actually need to accomplish in the morning? What do you actually want to do in the morning? What is important to you about that? I will say I miss having that me time. You know, as I've integrated myself back into work and back into my life from a healthy perspective. Now I want that sacred me time again. But the answer is no. This is an area that is very, let's just call it under construction. You know, we're marketers. Let's brand it that way. It's under construction. So there's your answer.

It's interesting to hear you because my brain is screaming right now. When chaos becomes comfortable, comfort becomes chaotic.

Uh huh. And I need to be uncomfortable with that.

Yeah, it's just. It's crazy. And Liz, just so you know, the next check in that we have, I'm gonna ask this same exact question again.

I know. Here's what I will say to you though. In light of what you just said. I do not want to be comfortable with chaos.

Yep.

Like that is how I ended up exactly where I was. Thank you for that thinly veiled threat because that will definitely get me off my ass to work on this. It's not that I haven't been trying, but I'll stand by what I said. The reason why I said I don't think the daily routine thing is necessarily wishy washy is because I was trying to cram too much in. I was basically living. I would encourage everybody to go back and listen to that episode of morning routine routines because I basically give this monologue where I pulled together legitimate actual advice about what people say should be in these perfect morning routines. And it ranged from forest bathing, ice bath plunges, eating breakfast, but naughtying, you're fasting, working on work, not working on work, meditating, prayer, mornings, pages. Like it's all these different things. Like we are set up for failure depending on if you're listening to everyone or no one. It does not matter.

Go listen to episode 24. That's the one on toxic morning routines. It's. It's amazing.

Yeah. So one of the reasons why I've been sticking with my health routine so well is because I stopped forcing it to be in the mornings. I allowed myself to look at my weeks and say on Mondays and Wednesdays it makes the most sense to have it early in the day. But based on my meetings and the way they work on the other days, it makes it more sense to have it in the evenings. So as I've done that, I have a duolingo streak. That's 108 days. Right.

Your girls German.

Why? I'm not going to Germany. I pick German because I'm Italian, but I can't roll my Rs. I've accepted about myself. I have moved on I'm reading every day and I am meditating every day. But it works better for me during the middle of the workday when I tend to feel my. My most anxiety arise. Yeah, so that's what I mean when I said, am I putting the right routines in the morning? So by shifting those into the afternoon or other parts of the day, now I can think about things like, you know, what I used to love doing in the morning that really helped. Journaling, you know, not everything has to be in the morning. All right, George, you caught me. Now your turn. Because this is the one I've been waiting for. I'm sure you saw it in the outline. It's the biggest one. Listeners at home, he already has his head on his mic and he's shaking his head. I've never been more proud.

All right, George, I don't want to do this anymore.

Yeah, well, in the past couple of months, George, actually note before I ask this question, this isn't a trap. This is an honest question. Because I've watched you for the past couple of months. You've been racing around with deadlines and big projects and family vacations, Unexpected happenings, both personal and professional, in your life, more so than usual. And I know you've been working hard to set better boundaries for yourself. Time where you're taking meaningful rest. And I want to know how setting those boundaries for yourself is going. And what has been a wild spring for you, what's going well, what needs to improve?

Boundaries. We don't need those stinking boundaries. Nah. Like, this is gonna be the shortest answer ever. Like, I have sucked the big kahuna on setting boundaries. Like, don't get me wrong. Like, for instance, Saturday, I made sure to carve some time out to just sit on my back porch, play with the dog, talk to the wife. Sunday, you know, hung out with friends. But that's this weekend before that. Oh, my God. Like, it was just horrible. Loving every minute of what I was doing, by the way. So don't get me wrong there. But there was, you know, other than the occasional, I'm going to escape for a episode of Star Trek, because I'm trying to go through it in chronological order because I was never a Trekkie. I was always more of like a Star Wars Marvel. But I've decided to give it its due, other than escaping for, like, a little bit of that. Like, listen, earlier on the podcast, I literally said, hey, Friday and Saturday, I did a 45 minute walk and actually taught myself something, for which, by the way, I've Been learning things along the way through all of this, so don't get that wrong either. But, Liz, boundaries. We don't need no stinking. I need to get better at it.

Do you want to know something funny, George?

What?

Do you know how sometimes I make no secret of the fact that I ask you trick questions?

Yeah.

So what's funny is this is a trick question, but in a good way. I'm giving you a present. So I knew you were going to be actively hard on yourself in the answer to this question. So I am here to tell you you are doing better than you think you are.

Here we go. This is like the third time people are gonna go against what my brain says. Okay, I'm so sorry.

I'm about to tell you something nice. Oh, my God.

I'm the worst. No, thank you. It's funny because, listen, I look for patterns in life, and I already alluded to that there was like, twice in the past, like, four to five days where I'm like. But go ahead, go ahead, be nice. Because I kind of like when people are nice to me.

So, George, I would say it's pretty fair to say that we rank in each other's, like, maybe top five people of who we talk to on a daily basis. Oh, without a doubt, seven days.

Yeah. Yeah, without a doubt.

Do you know what I've noticed? You have gotten a lot better about when you are off. And I found it fascinating that it was even more apparent over this past month and a half or so when we were working on this website project. You and I would say things to each other, like, we are purposefully going to be online on Saturday.

Yeah.

We are purposely going to be here. Whatever. And do you know what you didn't do? Sure, you were showing up six days a week instead of seven, but we were in the middle of a massive website launch.

Yeah.

You had family unexpectedly out. And that's important because you operate with a theme, which is your family team with the company.

Yeah, Right.

We had lots of stuff going on. But you know what I've noticed? I am having less and less nighttime outreach.

Yeah.

Or outreach when you are off.

Yeah.

So you're getting better at drawing the lines. You not only are not available when you are, you vanish off the face of the earth.

Yeah.

Not in a bad way. Like, I knew if I needed something, like, if I really needed you, I could reach out to you.

Yeah. There's a bat phone.

No. But I will tell you, there is a distinct difference. Now, I know some of that has to do with, like, we've gotten better at communicating. There's a lot of other stuff going on. But I want to be clear. I am seeing more of a delineation also. When was that? 23rd anniversary march.

Yeah.

Yeah. So right in the middle of the big website launch.

Oh, yeah. My wife even asked me. She said, oh, I forgot about this part. She goes, do we need to cancel our trip so that you can get the website launched? And I said, no, you are more important than any website I will ever build.

And we still got that website launched.

And we still got the website launched. Yes.

So I'm going to ask you this question again.

Oh, God.

How's it going?

It's going great, Liz. Like, I'm getting really good at, like, when I'm off, I'm off. And I don't. No, I'm just kidding. I'm not gonna take away my answer.

You're doing better. You're doing better.

I am doing better. And I will say that you are leaning into, or at least vocalizing when I won't vocalize it. That there is this thing that I am attempting to do, and I mean it in the nicest way possible. My job deals with being online. My job deals with digital marketing, sales operations, business coaching. I'm on Zoom calls. I'm building websites. I'm doing automated workflows. We're creating podcasts. When I'm off, I want to be, like, the most farmer hermit. No technology human possible, George.

I relate to that deeply when I'm offline. I'm a professional writer, and I want to be functionally illiterate, and I tell people that I look forward to doing nothing for you. I've said that to clients. What are you doing this weekend? Well, number one, looking forward to doing nothing for you tomorrow. Like, absolutely nothing. Zero.

And so I. I am almost, like, ghosting the Internet, ghosting like Slack, ghosting email as much as humanly possible. I am actively trying to get better at that. I think it's just a lot healthier, to be honest with you.

I love that.

Okay. Thank God it's not my turn anymore. All right.

Oh, good. Yay.

I really was a butthead when I put these questions together, but I didn't think I was actually being a butthead when I put these questions together. So, Liz, we had an episode on episode 22. It was on victim versus Victor mentality. Knowing and living the difference. So if you were me right now, you would, by the way, be leaning your forehead on your microphone, like, saying, I don't want to do this anymore.

I'm currently organizing post it notes on my desk in a way that nobody needs to organize.

You can't see this, but I'm like, she does not want to be in the room right now.

I don't know why you're asking this question. This is hurtful.

So, Liz, here's the thing. How do you think the victim versus Victor conversation has shaped the new Liz that you're starting to talk about? How's it impacted her showing up on a daily basis?

Damn it, George. She's doing great. She's thriving. Can't you tell? Can't you tell she's doing great?

Love it if that's your answer.

No. All jokes aside, this makes me uncomfortable. Similar to the seasons of life conversation in that it is uncomfortable because it is the thing that I'm putting a lot of focus on. It's probably an area where I am feeling the most growth, but that's because it's an uncomfortable area of growth for me. So I've already talked a bit on this episode about what that this past year has looked like and what the years preceding it looks like and da, da, da, da da. And you know how I struggled to feel like someone who was a meaningful contributor to the lives of. Of others, a person of value. When we had that conversation of victim versus victim mentality, the not superficial way, but the top level, surface level way that manifests is usually either someone saying, I am the architect of my own destiny. I accept an own with accountability and responsibility. All the things that happen in my life with the clear exceptions of if somebody is an actual a hole to you, like you hold them accountable and responsible, whereas a victim is in the posture of my life is happening to me, things are happening to me. Everything is evidence of the fact that something is happening within me. Yeah, my victim versus Victor is a little bit different. It took me a while to realize that I had a victim mentality, but in a different kind of way. In many ways, I was both the victim and the victor at the same time.

Oh, go on.

I was a victor in a very distorted and self destructive way because I was taking too much accountability and responsibility for things I shouldn't have owned. And I was a victim in that. It's not that I was sitting here saying everything is happening to me. I was acting as if, well, I'm just a bringer of doom and gloom and failure and everything I touch turns to crap. So it was this weird thing where I'm like, there is a different way to look at Victim and Victor. That has helped me actually quite a bit in that when you're taking responsibility for everything in the wrong things, it means when you're actually fucking up or not doing something correctly, you're not actually being accountable and responsible for it because it just goes into the symphony of crap that is your life. It makes it really hard for you to actually be present and show up in the accountable and responsible way that you. You need to. And I also just had to get over the fact, I think for a while I felt like the victim perpetrating my own crimes because I deserved to be the victim and I didn't. That's how that's shaped the way I'm viewing the world right now. Right. You know, it wasn't a healthy way for me to live. I'm still working through a lot of it.

Yeah.

Because the micro moments is where this is going to matter the most. Right. Like you can have these big profound realizations. And I'm walking this fine line right now where I don't want to end up back in the scenario where I was hyper regimented, you know, taking myself to court as judge, jury and executioner over every micro decision I'm making. But it's making sure that like, to the best of my ability, I'm. I'm trying to manifest this in the small decisions I'm making in my life. It's not perfect, but it's like there's this cloud and I've been walking through this fog of just like not so seeing myself clearly, not seeing how I'm showing up clearly. You know, when we had that conversation, victim versus Victor, it was such a strange conversation because I could, I could feel in my, my inner cupcake, my intuition, I'm like, I'm not nailing this. But part of it just wasn't resonating for me because I wasn't walking around acting like the world did this to me. But I also knew I wasn't showing up accountability wise and responsibility wise the way I needed to. And so it really forced me to sit with the understanding of Victim and Victor can come in different shades. I was a victim because I was just walking around like a Cassandra in the Greek tragedy who was just the harbinger of all things terrible because I allowed to believe those stories about myself. And so I acted accordingly. There you go. There's your honest answer. That's why I was organizing the post it notes on my desk.

So good stuff though.

Good stuff.

That's good stuff. I feel like there's 100,000 million people that will hear that and resonate with their own lives and the journey that they're on. Yeah, it's good stuff.

I love that. I've already brought it up a couple times, but yeah, guess who's back. Back again. Self care is back. Tell a friend, because I still cannot get over how initially resistant you were to this topic, how you were initially resistant to having the conversation. Because I knew that you were like, a little bit weird about it when you sent me that slack saying, so how do you feel about the outline? I'm like, feel great, George. Talk to you Monday. But it wasn't until we actually had the conversation that you. You told me, I don't get why we're talking about it, how meaningful it will actually be. What I will give you credit for is you really threw yourself into the journey.

Yeah.

You didn't push back when I said, hey, I think this is great. Talk to you Monday. Like, you really threw yourself into it. And you actually talked about how that topic ended up having a much greater impact on you than accept expected.

Yeah.

So I'm curious. It's been a couple months since we had that conversation. How has your relationship with self care shifted since then, if at all? Are you making different choices? Is it still something you're struggling to wrap your head around? Where are you at with it?

Yeah, I mean, I'm bathing and brushing my teeth. So, you know.

Oh, God. Okay, that's revival. That's good.

We're winning.

I mean, your dentist is happy.

But let's back up for a second because I want people to understand. My hesitation in the topic was that when doing initial research, it was the wrong effing conversation that almost everybody on the Internet was having. Like, it was so fake and surface level and hype you up for just a line of BS of products that you want to buy or sell. And I was like, why in God's name are we talking about this? This is not a root fundamental thing. And then it hit me. That's why we need to talk about it in the way that we'll talk about it. That's why we need to unpack it from our brain in the way that we'll think about it or are choosing to at least start the journey to think about it. And Liz, the biggest thing is that I have started to use a word that I historically had demonized of. This word is not allowed in my life, but I have allowed that word to be used in a positive way ever since that episode, because you asked me in that episode or said something in that episode about self care and selfishness. And again, the word selfishness for me has always been like, nope, it's about servanthood, it's about helping others, it's about showing up with love and empathy. But wow, are you being selfish enough in a positive way to do that for yourself? Are you showing up for yourself? Are you giving yourself love? Are you being empathetic to who you are as a human? Are you being selfish enough to block out the time in the day to learn something new? Are you selfish enough to take the time to actually do your meditation and your Bible reading? Are you being selfish enough because the world will take all of your time, the family will take all of your time, friends will take all of your time, and therefore you don't have any ability to say, I need these things in my life so that my cranium is not a path of mental landmines that when I'm trying to walk through it are going to explode. I have literally been on this journey of what are the places in my life that I need to insert selfishness as a positive term to the things that I need to make sure happen on a daily, weekly or monthly basis so that I wake up in the morning and go, you're freaking killing it, bro. You are a good human. Like, you are doing good things and you treat yourself well too. And you've done this and you've done that and like, so for me, it's just been this really unique new journey with self awareness and being selfish to give myself the things that I so freely give to others along this journey.

I'm on that makes me so happy.

It's a difficult journey. I mean, I'm happy too, don't get me wrong. But it is a very unique journey. And if you're listening to this and you struggle with this idea of self care, you don't even believe or agree what you've seen on the Internet. Then you need to go into your own brain or go into the episode that we did and really unpack what it, what that term means for you and how you can implement it. Because it really is a mental game changer to this word right here. The priority in which you give the things that come down the stream of your life.

I love that.

I'm glad you love that. You know what I love?

What? Asking me questions that make me.

I do. I love, I love asking questions that make you uncomfortable. Okay, this one was because I know historically I have had my own journey where I broke my brain based on the topic that I'm going to ask you the question around where I much like earlier when you're like, I had to just back off of like daily morning rituals because it was so like I growth minded myself to like where I broke my cranium. I was like, I need to see how Liz is doing on this journey that she's been on. So how are you fostering a growth mindset? And here's the important part. In a healthy way, are there tools that you've put into place? Mindsets, best practices, methodologies, like how is Liz and the fostering a growth mindset journey going?

You know, the funny thing is when I first saw that question, it was patented. Good job. This is a Liz grenade. Because at first I'm like, what? What is this question? Okay, we only have a few questions we get to ask each other. And this is one you're choosing. Okay. All right, whatever. Whatever.

Oh yeah.

And then I sat with it.

Oh, I love that sound right there. Oh, that means we're going somewhere. Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to go somewhere, so buckle up.

Well, because originally I was like, George, it's not like I'm someone who's ever been needed to be convinced that I needed a growth mindset. You know, one of the things that bonded us together is that I wouldn't call a self improvement junkies by any stretch of the imagination. But like, we've always been growth minded. You know, we are always in pursuit of newer ideas, ways to improve ourselves. You know, the whole reason last year even happened was because the pain were the direct symptoms of me choosing the right things. It was doing what was right, even if it was hard. And especially if it was hard. But to your point, a growth mindset can easily become a toxic wasteland if you are not careful. And I've already alluded to this somewhat throughout my answers to the other questions. How am I fostering a growth mindset in a healthy way? By realizing it actually needs to be healthy. Because I was leaning into growth oriented topics for so long because I absolutely despised myself and I was trying to erase who I was and become someone wholly new. And that is not healthy. I am not someone who needs to be loathed. The sad part, at least for me, and I say it's sad because I look back at how mean to myself I've been over the years, is that I was growing as a means to erase the failure I thought I had to become someone wholly different in order to grow and to be of value. So how have I fostered a growth mindset in a healthy way by making it healthy by focusing on the conversations we've had today around my version of Victim versus Victoria. By thinking about what my morning routines actually were and not being so damn hard on myself. I did not realize how much I disliked myself. I had trained myself to think. I mean, I spent most of last year really thinking, like, is there anything worth saving here? It went to some pretty dark places. And then I got to the point where I'm like, well, if there's nothing worth saving, then I just have to start over from scratch and become someone different. I can't go back to where I was. I can't be the person who was so afraid of hurting myself that I hurt myself and I hurt other people. Like, I was in a tremendous place of a lot of pain. I was very afraid. How am I fostering it? By actually making the healthy part a priority. By taking time to honor the parts of myself that I do like by focusing on the wins that I have and not looking at every mistake as some sort of indictment of my character, which is something I used to do a lot. I would have this weird kind of, like, checks and balances system where I would say, man, I did really well at this one thing. But then immediately my brain went, well, you didn't do this, and you didn't do that, and you didn't do this and you didn't do that. So, really, did you actually win? And at what cost? What's going to happen when people find out? It's not like I was hiding anything significant. That was where my growth mindset was. I didn't have a growth mindset. I had a Liz erasure mindset. And that is not healthy. That is not healthy. And if you're sitting here listening to this right now and any part of that is resonating with you, you got to get good with yourself first. You can't grow scorched, parched earth with no water. Oh, there's nothing to grow. Pouring water on cement will get you nowhere. You'll just become a bigger rock.

Oh, man. First of all, I'm proud of you. Second of all, my brain goes to episode 15, the power of forgiveness, and episode 14, the power of Forgiveness. What's the difference, George, why were there two episodes? The first one is what it means to forgive others. Maybe the most important one, though, is, like, forgiving ourselves. Anyway, I'm proud of you.

Thanks for that question, Monster. All right, last question.

Yes.

I'm gonna go first on this one. Oh, okay, whatever.

Because you can.

Because they can. I write the outlines.

Yep, you do.

If we could each only pick one thing to focus on until our next check in, that is the most important thing or has the potential to have the greatest impact in our lives, were we to make that change, no matter how small, what would we choose? I'm not picking this one because you said you're going to ask me this question exactly the same again when we do this check in again in six months, but because I genuinely believe it has the potential for the greatest impact. And that's my morning routine. And it's not because the morning routine is necessarily so important. It's what it represents. I'm a firm believer that when you start your day off the right way, things tend to just kind of. I mean, it's not always going to be perfect, but when you feel more in control of your mornings and how you begin your days, you don't spend your life in a day where you feel like you're constantly chasing it. I want to set the tone for my own days again, which sets the tone for my own life again. I think that's really important. And as we had the conversations around self care and taking care of myself and honoring myself and doing my best not to water cement and to water actual fertile earth. Right. What are the ways that I can honor and cultivate myself in the morning? What are the ways in which I can feel more enriched in the mornings? Because I think sometimes when we talk about the morning routine, it can feel like homework. I don't want to look back six months from now and say that was the easy throwaway answer I could have given based on what the conversation was. But it's really important to me because when I think about my beyond your default journey, I spend so much time worrying how I'm letting down other people, all the time crying. And it's time I stopped letting myself down. And I'm not saying that in the victim way that I was talking about earlier. I am someone worthy of having space.

Yes.

And time to honor myself. So that's where I am.

I love that.

Yeah. Well, we'll see how it goes in six months.

I can't wait to ask that question again. Yay.

The fact that you said that, by the way, like three times. I'm like, get. Get it together. You have homework.

You know it's coming. Yeah. It's interesting. Like, Liz, you know how usually you ask me, like, what's the one thing you want to share with? And I'm like, here Are the five things that I wanna. I don't have that problem this time.

What?

I don't have that problem this time.

Yay. It only took me almost a year or more to get you to say one thing.

Yeah, my one thing that I need to focus on more than anything else till our next check in. And beyond that, by the way. But I'll use our next check in to be the catalyst for me to be like, oh, I know this question is coming. I need to focus on my health. I've been on a real interesting journey where a couple years ago I weighed 320 pounds and I got diagnosed with RA and I started walking and I started eating right and I went down to 254 pounds, which for me was like amazing. 79 pounds in like nine months. I need to focus on my health. The reason why is I know that it affects my mental health. I know it affects the way that I am interacting with the world. I know it is the demon that I historically have not been able to slay, but know I have been able to slay it because of the journey that I had with the 79 pounds that I lost. I know I need to be selfish and go for the walks. I need to be selfish with the time and prep the food. I need to be selfish and slap myself across the face when I go to grab a bowl of chips or ice cream. Oh God, I love ice cream. I'm sorry. Ice cream. The jam ice cream. We're gonna have to break up. I'm sorry. But in all seriousness, I need to focus on my health. I now weigh 311 pounds, so I have not reached my top weight that I was. I don't want to reach my top weight. I don't want to show up at inbound in five months and be the guy that I am right now. Hell, I don't want to get five years down the road and physically be the guy that I am right now or a guy that's worse than I am right now. And so I have to put a stake in the ground. And again, I know this rhymes with what I talked about earlier and now you'll understand why I was so freaking excited when a friend said, what do you guys think about meeting at 7 o' clock in the morning and going on walks? Because for me this was a physical hand up. And my friend didn't even know that it was a hand up that he was giving me in that moment. And so between now and our next check in my journey, my beyond the default will be around my health and around the amount of weight that I can lose in a healthy way. By the way, I'm not gonna go get a medication or starve myself or do a seven point plan to summer body fat, but in a healthy way. Health. That's my journey beyond the default.

Sam.