Swapping Lives | Jane Green | Talks at Google

And I have to add that I love questions. That's my most favorite bit of these talks. So please think of questions, because there's nothing worse than having a big silence. And I also have to say actually how lovely it was getting an email inviting me here. I do quite a lot of readings and talks and things when my books come out. I also have a huge amount of email these days and rather more than I can actually respond to. So I don't tend to respond to anything personally anymore, which I read everything. I'm just not able to write back to everyone. But when I got this, I thought, yeah, there's something I'd like to do. So that's why she heard from me so quickly. So if anyone sends me an email after this, I'm really sorry, I'll read it, but I probably won't be able to write back. And also, fantastic being here because one of the things that you don't sort of realize being a writer, and particularly being a writer, you know, being a mother as well and having, you know, four little children, is that my world gets very small. And I haven't been in the workplace for 10 years, over 10 years. And it's just fantastic coming to an office and sort of soaking in the atmosphere, particularly an office like this, which is wonderful. And for anybody here who has read my books, you know, it's going to appear somewhere. It's not going to be as Google, but there are definitely it's going to appear in one of the future books. I'm actually writing something at the moment which is pretty big for me. I always used to write a book a year, and then this past year, the events of my life have got in the way and haven't written for a year. So I'm now halfway through, actually, I can talk about it a little bit if anyone's interested. But it's called Second Chance, and it started off as the story of a group of friends who haven't seen one another since high school, who get back together for a memorial service of the one friend who did keep in touch with all of them, who dies in a terrorist attack, actually. And it's really the story of friendships and rediscovering old friendships and how these huge events can cause your life to go off in very different directions. But actually, as so often happens, when you start writing, you think the book is about one thing. And as you start writing, you find in fact it's about something else entirely. So I, you know, But I'm liking writing about a group of friends Again, I did it with Bookends. I wrote a book called Bookends, which is was this. I followed a group of friends who've known each other since university and I love exploring the dynamics of friendship. So I'm really pleased to be writing. Writing that again. And it's going quite well, which is unusual for me to say. Normally, I hate everything I write until it's validated by someone else, but I have to say I'm quite enjoying the writing of this one. Just to tell you a little bit more about me, I've lived in America for six years, haven't lost my English accent at all, it seems, despite having been married to an American and having these four American children. I have a daughter who's five actually, and she came up to me about two weeks ago, this is absolutely true. And she said, mom, can I have a Baworth tonight? I said, excuse me, can I have a bawth? And I looked at her, I said, tabitha, what are you saying? She went, can I have a bath? I said, what? She said, mom, how do you say bath in English? And I said, darling, it's bath. And she said, oh, yes, bawth. And she still can't say it right, but she's trying very hard. So I'm so Second Chance, the one I'm writing Now is my 10th novel, which is astounding to me. I can't believe I've produced 10 novels. And I do feel enormously blessed because, you know, I've had a lovely success both here and in the uk, where I'm from. One of the things I love about being a writer is that it allows me to do the other things in my life. I feel like I've got the perfect balance between being a mother and raising my family and having a career that really does fulfill me and that allows me to be defined by something other than my children. And actually, this is really where Swapping lives came about. I became fascinated by a type of women that I saw living out in the suburbs who, many of whom seemed to have very high powered jobs before they got married. And then as soon as they had children, they stopped working, but were left with all of this ambition and drive and nowhere to funnel it. And so all of a sudden they. Well, I saw two things. I saw them, first of all, ceoing their children through, you know, preschool and kindergarten. And then when the children were old enough to actually fend for themselves, they start getting involved in charity work and gal. And it's all disguised as being for the greater good. And we're raising money for this thing and for that thing. But in fact, it's all completely about social climbing. And I really wanted to write about these types of women and swapping lives. It came about with that. It also has the theme that I suppose is ever present in my books, which is the story of people finding happiness and our journey to finding happiness, which I think is the key to. The key to life. I mean, we're not here for very long and I think we really have to do what makes us happy. And all of my female characters seem to have a dilemma of some kind and struggle through the book to find out what their path should be. I'm going to read a little bit from here where I should explain a bit of background. I have two protagonists. There is Vicki, who lives. Vicky Townsley is a journalist. She's 35, unable to believe that she's single. At 35, she assumed she'd be married with some kids and thinks that her life won't start until she is married with children. And then on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, because Vicki lives in London, is Amber. And Amber Winslow lives in the McMansion in a wealthy suburb in Connecticut. Not my wealthy suburb, of course. I invented actually a fictional town called Highfield, Connecticut, which has appeared in a couple of the books. And Amber has everything that she needs to be happy. At least if you looked at her, you would think that she has everything. But in fact, she has this vague dissatisfaction with her life. And what happens is Vicki, who works for this magazine, her editor gets so fed up with her holding marriage up as this great, you know, the happy ever after, she does a. They run an article offering to swap lives. We have Vicki single. We come and swap lives. If you're married and you think that the grass is greener on the other side, come and swap lives with Vicki. And of course, the ad is answered by Amber and the two women swap lives for a month. But before we get there, I'm just going to read. I have to say, I feel about 10 years too old to be here and completely overdressed as well. And I have to sort of slightly tailor the readings that I read for my audiences. And I came in, been about to read something all about, you know, suburban mums, and I thought, no, no, this isn't going to work here. So I'm actually doing something about Vicki and her dating life. And Vicky has met. Vicki, has just had a fling with one of the hot young comedians in London called Jamie Donnelly. So she's been waiting for him to call for days, and he has been sitting on her phone. And finally he calls. Vicki abandons the movie altogether and gives herself up to the movie in her head, which stars Vicky Townsley and Jamie Donnelly. He phones. And he doesn't just phone, he phones, whispering that he's desperate to see her. He phones saying that the papers lie, they always do, that he and the celebrity he was seen out with are old friends, that nothing happened, and that they phoned one another the next day and roared with laughter about the ridiculousness of the thought of them sleeping together. Really? Vicki asks hopefully, because although a journalist, she's a magazine journalist, which is quite a different thing from being a gossip journalist. Excuse me. And she says it hopefully because she so wants to believe, she doesn't want to be a cynic, to accuse him of lying, to ask why they aren't suing the paper, or at the very least demanding a retraction if the paper printed lies. Really? Jamie Donnelly confirms in his soft and oh so sexy Irish accent, and I lost your phone number and then I couldn't remember the magazine you worked on on iPhone, Cosmopolitan and company and no one there knew you. I didn't know how to find you. Of course it is perfectly reasonable that he did lose her phone number and possibly he did phone some other magazines if he were that desperate. It's perhaps slightly odd that he didn't just get on the Internet. Surely anyone can find anyone or anything these days. But not everyone is as savvy as Vicki, and perhaps it just didn't occur to him. Well, that's flattering, Vicki says. Flattered. I haven't stopped thinking about you, Vicki. About that night we spent together. And then today when I walked in and saw you sitting with Hugh, I couldn't believe it. It feels like God was listening and he placed you there just for me. And Vicki melts. So, she says, after recovering, do you want to get together? Oh shit, she thinks, shut up. Isn't it up to the man to suggest that you took the words right out of my mouth, he says. What about tonight? What are you doing tonight? Play hard to get, she thinks. Tell him you're busy until next week. Don't do it. Don't say yes. Not much, she says, her eagerness to see him overtaking any sane inclination she may have had. And immediately her imagination starts working overtime. Tonight, the Ivy, perhaps Hakasan, a romantic dinner for the two of them. She imagines them walking into the restaurant, everyone looking over at them, for of course everyone knows who Jamie Donnelly is, and Then looking at her, wondering who the lucky girl is who's holding his hand and who he's gently guiding through the tables. And perhaps the paparazzi will be waiting outside. She's seen them regularly at the restaurant she frequents for work. As she steps outside, they're clustered around the doorway, looking up expectantly. As soon as they hear the door, hoping for Cameron or Jude or Julia to finish eating and step outside, they would undoubtedly snap a picture of her and Jamie. And tomorrow it could be in the paper. Oh, how lovely. If that happened, think who might see it. That bastard Michael, who dumped her for the brainless model. The other bastard, Clive, who professed to have fallen madly in love, then never called her again after she slept with him. And what about the gaggle of bitchy girls from school? Really, at 35, she ought not to have ever given them a second thought, but she recently googled Catherine Enderley just out of curiosity to find out what happened to the queen bitch. And Catherine Enderley now works at a boring old law firm in Brighton. Please God, she thought, let Catherine Enderley see me in the paper with Jamie Donnelly. Please let Kathryn Enderley, Rachel Myerson and Tara Barking all see me looking thin, beautiful and blissfully happy with the new love of my life, Jamie Donnelly. Wonderful. Jamie says I'll come over around nine. I have a meeting at seven in town, so I'll probably make it over to you by nine. Do you remember my address? Vicki quickly covers her disappointment. So, okay, no paparazzi, no public outings tonight, but that will come. Think romantic dinner instead. A roaring fire, although it's not real, but gas, which is almost as good and far less hot, given that it's summer. A wonderful dinner. Oh God, what cook Nigella, come to my rescue. Please help me come up with a meal to make his mouth water. A meal to make him realize I could be a wonderful wife. He would never have to eat McDonald's again. Chocolate covered strawberries, perhaps. For dessert they would feed each other in front of the fire, kiss during the meal, be unable to keep their hands off each other. I've been looking for you my whole life, jamie Donnelly would say. And Vicki would just smile, a secretive smile and not say anything at all. Drive him wild with desire with just a cool gaze. Tonight, she thinks coolly, I will be Angelina Jolie. I'll be sexy, seductive and super cool. I will drive him wild with desire. I'll make him fall in love with me. I remember your address, Jamie says. Should I make dinner? Vicki says in a voice that she imagines Angelina would use. Now don't worry, I'll eat earlier. See you later, Vicki. And he's gone. At nine o' clock Vicki is sitting on her sofa, cradling a glass of red wine. The fire is blazing, Diana Crawl is crooning from the stereo. The lights are dim and she's wearing a short blue linen dress, her favorite and sexiest lacy underwear underneath. At 9:30 she's pacing round the living room worrying about where he might be, whether he might have forgotten, or worse, whether something might have happened to him. At 10:30 she is well and truly pissed off. And when a girl is well and truly pissed off because a man hasn't done what he has said he's going to do, the very best thing is a revenge fuck. Not that the wrongdoer ever needs to know. But Vicki knows that sleep is no longer an option, that her body is so tense she feels ready to snap. And although she's now furious with Jamie Donnelly, she'll phone Daniel because he's around the corner, can be here in a heartbeat, and while he's not and never will be Mr. Right, he's certainly a better candidate for Mr. Right now. Daniel rings the doorbell as a black cab pulls up and a tall man climbs out, paying the driver, then turning to look up at the building outside which Daniel is standing. Jesus Christ, thinks Daniel. It's Jamie Donnelly. For a minute the temptation is to say one of the dodgy catchphrases, or at the very least tell him how much Daniel loves the show. But no, that would be too naff. That's cheesy in American. But he has to say something. Can't let an opportunity like this pass him by. All right, mate, daniel says, nodding amiably, just as Vicki buzzes him In Love the Show. He finds the words involuntarily leaving his mouth. Damn. All right, jamie nods back. Hold the door, will you? And they both walk in at the same time. Have you got a friend who lives here? Daniel says, leading the way up the stairs. Depends on the definition of friend. Jamie grins and winks as Daniel laughs knowingly, walking down the corridor towards Vicky's flat. How bizarre. Jamie Donnelly is following him. Must be the flat opposite Vicki's, for there are only two flats at the end of the corridor. And yet, isn't that a married couple with a baby? Well, maybe they moved. They must have moved and they both come to a stop outside Vicki's door. Oh shit, Daniel says as the light dawns on him. Jamie grins and shrugs Truth has always been stranger than fiction in his experience. May the best man win, he says pleasantly, with the full knowledge that given the choice between himself and pretty much any other man in London, he will win. Vicki opens the door, wrapped in her bathrobe, all makeup off, and her hands fly to her face as she stands in front of Daniel and Jamie Donnelly. Oh my God. She hisses, slamming the door shut again. Wait there. She yells, flying down to the bathroom to retrieve her dress from where it's draped over the bath, pulling on her underwear, slapping on some makeup. Oh no. She keeps whispering, running back down the hall and panting as she opens the door again to find the two men standing there, Jamie with a wide grin on his face and Daniel looking ever so slightly uncomfortable. Jamie, I thought you weren't coming, she says, pulling him in. And Daniel, whatever are you doing here? It's a lovely surprise, but a bit late, isn't it? I'll call you tomorrow. And she leans up to give him a kiss on the cheek, whispering, sorry, Dan, I'll explain tomorrow. And she practically pushes him out the door. She goes back inside to wrap herself around Jamie Donnelly. Thank you. And now I would love to answer questions, if anybody has any. I've got all afternoon. Sadly not, or I'd be sitting here a much richer woman than I am today. No, it's one of those awful coincidences when I think you sort of capture the zeitgeist, you capture a mood. This happens to me quite a lot when I write something and suddenly find that there are three other books that have come out with the same subject. And actually, when I had written this manuscript, it was sent out to all of the Hollywood producers. My film agent sent it out and everybody came back saying, there's a movie that's just going into pre production which is almost exactly the same story. And yes, that's the Cameron Diaz, I think it's called Holiday. Yeah, but actually, the same thing happened with chick lit. You know, when Chiclet didn't exist. When I first started writing, my first book was called Straight Talking, and Helen Fielding had written a book, Bridget Jones Diary, which went on to become a huge phenomenon. And there are a couple of us who, coincidentally, were also writing at the same time about single women in their 30s looking for Mr. Right. And that really was the beginning of chick lit. So thank goodness. Well, I was a journalist, so I did women's features on a newspaper in England. And I'd always loved the words, I'd always loved the writing much more than actually getting the story And I had always read as well. I was a voracious reader from when I was a little girl. I was always happy. It's when I was buried in a book, I was one of those little girls who doesn't really belong. I never felt. I always felt slightly different from everybody else, and my escapism was in a book. So I think that just gave me a love of words. And then actually, when I was about 26 or 27, a girlfriend of mine who I was working as a journalist and she wasn't a writer, but all of a sudden she wrote book. And before you knew it, she signed a publishing deal. And I remember thinking, well, hang on a minute, if she can do it, I can do it. And I cannot believe how naive I was. But I left my job and I gave myself, I think, three months to write a book, which was insane. I mean, it's just impossible. But. And I just thought, yeah, I'm going to get a publishing deal and that's going to be it. And it never occurred to me that I wouldn't get a publishing deal. And actually, the very first letter that I sent out, I sent to a literary agent who was through a friend of a friend. And I got a letter back saying, well, your characters are immature and your situations are unbelievable and frankly, your work is unpublishable. And I sank into a deep depression. And then a few weeks later, a friend of mine said, well, this is ridiculous. You were so passionate about this. You can't just give it up based on one person's opinion. So I then did a mail shot to, I think, 13 literary agents, and within a week, nine of them had come back and said, we want to see more. You know, I sent the standard three chapters, synopsis, biog. So then I was in this position of having these literary agents to choose from. So I was a little bit naughty. I phoned some publishers and whoops, there goes my water. I phoned some publishers and said, hi, this is Jane Green, I'm a journalist, I've written a novel. And you could almost hear them say, oh, another bloody journalist who thinks she's written a best seller. And I said, no, no, no, I don't want to send it to you, but I have nine literary agents who are interested in my book, and I don't know anything about literary age. And I just wondered what you thought of them. And they sort of said, well, nine? Who are the nine? And some of them were teeny tiny and nobody had ever heard of, but some of them were huge literary Agents. So of course as soon as they heard that these people were interesting, they were saying, well, we'd like to see the book. You know, we'd very much like to be on that list. So actually my first straight talking had a bidding war and that was it. Never looked back. I would, I sort of in my dreams, but not really. I mean I, you know, I think that, I think that I do what I do pretty well and I don't. I'm not aspiring to be anything. I'm not. I mean, there have been times when I've been mortified at being described as a chick lit author. You know, when I was much younger, when it first started, there was a huge backlash against chick lit and I was like, I don't want to be a chick lit author. And actually now I've completely embraced it and I'm, I'm fine with being a chick lit author, but I write what I can. I just find that my voice seems to be pretty clear. It's fairly consistent throughout my books. I'm not sure how well I would do with something else. I once wrote a screenplay for Jemima Jay which actually we're in the middle of negotiating a made for TV movie deal. So fingers crossed because it ain't over till it's over. I've learned in the movie business I've sold many, many options over the years, but they've never actually amounted to anything. I did write a screenplay for Jemima Jay and lost it somewhere. I don't love film. I mean, I quite enjoy watching it the once a year I manage to get out from the house and. But I haven't got any burning desire to be a screenwriter. There have been a couple of times, particularly recently, where I've heard stories, true stories, and I thought there's one thing in particular that I can't really talk about. A great unsolved mystery that happened sort of many, many years ago that has never really been written about. And I think someone ought to do a book. And I sort of wish that someone could be me, but I wouldn't have the patience to do that kind of research. So I think I'm going to stick to this for now. Maybe a mystery at some point. I'd quite like to do a mystery. Something a bit more challenging, I think. Ah, the question was if anyone can't hear, have I ever had someone, an encounter with someone who thought they were the basis of characters in my novel? Many, many times. It's extraordinary actually. I had. Do you know, I remember when I wrote Mr. Maybe I don't know whether anyone's read Mr. Maybe, but I was coming out of this relationship with a man who was perfectly fine, but he certainly wasn't anything great. But I remember saying to him, I'm going to write a book about you, and you're going to be called Nick. And of course, Nick turned into this kind of fantastically sexy, wonderful man. And apparently for years, I think he still goes around telling people that he is Nick from Mr. Maybe. And he really wasn't. And I had another. I had another bizarre experience a couple of years ago when I was at this girl's house and she said, oh, yes, you know, my neighbor, she's really unhappy that you wrote about her in your book. And I said, excuse me. And it turned out that I have in to have and to hold, which is the story of a marriage. And it's the story of a marriage where the husband is persistently unfaithful at one point, and it's literally about two pages long, the husband is having a fling with a French girl called Valerie. And so this neighbor's name is Valerie. And so this girl Valerie thinks that I wrote that the Valerie in the book is this Valerie. So she also has enjoyed telling people that she has had cameos in my book. You can never predict how people are going to react. Generally, I don't write about real people. I did perhaps more in the beginning with the first couple of books, but now I would say I never base my characters on real people. And yet I am always stunned at people who think it is real. And in fact, there was. I caused a huge kerfuffle with the Young Women's League in my town who. Because in Swapping Lives, I write about the Highfield League of Young Ladies, and I refer to them throughout the book as the League. Well, of course, whatever it is, the Young Women's League in my town is also referred to as the League. And so apparently they spent months convinced that this was about them and, you know, hating me. I was the object of hatred for a long time, which is just very odd, really, because I know nothing about the League in my town. I'm not a big joiner of groups of women. I mean, if they're groups of women that I have chosen, that's fine, but I'm not very good at this whole kind of leagues and women's things. I don't know exactly what the question is about. A scene of chick lit writers. Funnily, actually, there is. No. No, there is in Eng. In England, everybody is friendly and Mostly. That sounded terrible, doesn't it? I mean, the chick lit authors are all friends, I should say, and mostly very supportive of one another. I haven't had that experience here, but I also don't live in the city, so in England I lived in London. They all lived in London. The ones that didn't would come up to London regularly for publishing things. It's a much smaller industry there, so it's very easy to get to know people and there's a real camaraderie and a real support amongst authors. I haven't found that here, but then, you know, 90% of the time I'm a mum, you know, I'm not an author. I sort of put on my. This, what I'm wearing today. You wouldn't recognize me tomorrow morning. If you saw me tomorrow morning I'd be in my, you know, ripped up old cargo pants and sneakers and not a scrap of makeup. I mean, I spend my day running around with my kids. And so I'm really not involved in the literary scene here at all. I have a couple of friends who are authors. Not in my genre though. I have a lovely, lovely friend who writes very literary books and she's wonderful. And actually last week I had an email, I think I'm allowed to say this from. I don't know whether anyone's ever read Jonathan Tropper. He wrote a wonderful book called the Book of Joe, which I highly recommend. It's one of my all time favorite books. And he sent me an email and said, you know, would you, can I send you my book? Because you know, authors send out advanced copies to get blurbs from other authors. So I wrote back and I said, only if I can meet you for lunch because I'm a fan. And you know, I think he's, he's wonderful. So we have, we've sort of had this nice little email exchange since then, but I don't have a lot of friends who are authors and I sort of miss it. I miss kind of, I miss feeling connected. Writing is very solitary and you have to make a real effort to get out the house and sort of live life and actually experience enough of life that you're able to keep getting inspiration for your books. And of course the wonderful thing about being a writer is that whatever happens to you, whether it's good, bad, awful, it's all material. And my books have very much charted my life. They haven't been about me, not about me at all, but very much about themes that occur in my life or in the lives of My friends. Okay, good questions. I'll probably forget them. So remind me. The first one was who do I read? I mentioned Jonathan Tropper. I've read everything of his, including his advanced manuscript of the new one. I love Ann Patchett. Do you know, I really ought to have better answers for these because I'm asked this everywhere I go and I can never come up with anything. So I'm going to move swiftly onto the do I read Other Chicklet? And the answer is not a huge amount. I have to say. I think that. Well, it also depends on the definition of chick lit. I mean, personally, I think my sadness is that too many people think of chick lit as being a fluffy urban tale of a 20 something single girl living in the city and meeting Mr. Wright, where in fact I've been writing this for 10 years and, and my first two or three books were about that. But I haven't written that for a very long time. I'm writing about families, I'm writing about children, I'm writing about marriages and adultery and just life, you know, what happens in life. I also don't believe any of those articles I read about the death of chick lip because it still seems to be going strong. However, I think there is an awful lot of derivative writing that isn't very good. I get sent a lot of manuscripts and a lot of fluffy urban single girls in their 20s looking for Mr. Right. And I've moved beyond that. I mean, I'm sure there is a market for it, but I'm not particularly interested in that anymore. Do I read some of the older chick lip? Sophie Kinsella? Yes, Alison Pearson. I read. You know, I don't know how she does it. And I love all those Gossiplet books. You know, I love all the, the Nanny Diaries and what was the other one? The one I can't even remember, Devil Wears Prada. I mean, you know, all of those things I love. But oh, Bergdorf Blondes gave a quote for it inside cover, right at the bottom. I think I was like the least important person to give a quote on that book. But yeah, chick lit, not so much, I have to say. And also actually I love reading non fiction. You know, at the moment I read more nonfiction. I also find myself reading tons and tons and tons of books about dealing with difficult daughters. It's my obsession at the moment. You can guess why. So I have, you know, books piled up on my bedside table about how to set boundaries and limits and successful parenting. So that's taking up most of my time. Third, what Was the third one. Oh, about a minute, actually. I'm usually halfway through the book that I'm writing. My mind is already jumping ahead to the next book, and my characters don't stay with me. I always feel like I ought to say, oh, yes, you know, they're my friends and I walk around with them in my head. Actually, I just think that sounds horribly pretentious and it's not true at all. Although the characters that I think were strongest that existed most strongly for me were the ones in bookends, and I loved them and I did sort of feel like they were friends in some ways. It was a very easy book to write because it sort of felt like it played out in my head almost like watching a movie. Which actually was also very similar to Jemima Jay, which has always struck me as being a very filmic book. Welcome. Well, I think that's. I think. I think I understand your point. It is. It is. It looks possibly much fluffier than it is, and it's very hard. The problem is it's hard to discern the good Chiclet from the bad Chicklet. It. I tend to look for longevity. So if somebody is on their third, fourth, fifth novel, then I'm much more inclined to pick it up and look at it. If it's a first novel in a pink fluffy cover, I'm going to say not so much, really, because there's too much. There's just too much. And I can't tell what's good and what's not. But I think if you look at the people who started, the vast majority of them have not had a hugely long career, whereas you look at people like, I mean, certainly from England, Marion Keys, who, in fact, she's Irish, who's wonderful. And I would recommend anything of hers. Lisa Jewell, who, again, you know, anything of hers. And these are girls who have been writing for nine, 10, 11 years. And I think anybody who can sustain a career for that long has something more to them. Well, I used to write at home until actually, sadly, Google was one of Google and ebay. You know, I'm a complete computer addict and I would just sit for hours, just whatever my obsession of the day was, I could easily spend, you know, four or five hours, you know, looking up the obsessions. What's that Google thing where it does Jane Green Ears? You put your name in and it can do. There's a Google. Does anybody know what I'm talking about? There's a web. No, maybe it doesn't exist anymore. There used to Be a thing where it was a. I don't know, a droogle or a bruegel or something. And you could put your name in and it would be Jane Green Ears. And it would come up with a load. It would trawl through and immediately come up with a load of things. Jane Greene is. And I did that for a while, and that was really funny until I came up with Jane Greene is dead. And I thought, all right, that's enough. Now I can deal with Jane Green. You know, Jane Green is rubbish. But Jane Green is dead was a little bit morbid for me. But what I used to find was I used to think that my working day was about nine hours. And then one day I went to the library and I realized my working day was actually about three hours. And the rest of the six hours was spent trawling around the Internet looking at rubbish. So what I do now is I do go to my local library. I take my laptop and, you know, I have my little routine and I go and get my green tea or my coffee, depending on, you know, how much caffeine I need. And I work in one of those little cubbies. It's like a little workstation. And it's great. It's great because it gives me someplace to go because I actually feel like I'm going to work. Whereas at home there are always other things to do and there are always children around. And I'm in a rental house at the moment, and it is the cheapest construction I've ever seen in my entire life. It is. It's paper. I actually have just been hanging pictures and I was completely stunned. And this is absolutely true. I pushed all the picture nails in myself with my thumb. I just went and pushed them in. But it's so. It's basically made of paper. And so my kids can be at the other end of the house and can be saying, mommy, and I can be at the other end going, yes. And so I can't get anything done at home. So the library is where I work now. And I. If I'm there at. I'm usually there by about 9:30 and I'm always done by lunchtime. So the rest of the day is with the kids and, you know, being. Being Jane Green mum and housewife. Oh, there's one. I always get writer's block. I get at every point in every book, Even now, even 10 books in at least twice. I reach a point where I think, I just can't do it anymore. I can't be bothered. I can't do it. I don't know what's happening. I don't know where it's going. I cannot do it. And what I found is the only way to get through that is to do it and discipline. I think the only thing that separates me from the thousands of other people who want to write books, who have started writing a book, who are thinking about writing a book, is that I force myself to sit down and finish it, even when it's the very last thing in the world I want to do. And really, I mean, I think that's the only key. You just. You got to finish it. And actually, you know, I get a lot of letters from people saying, I'm writing a book, and can you recommend how I get an agent, how I get a publisher? And my first. The first thing I always say is, finish it first. Because that's, of course, the first thing that people will want to see. Well, I tend to be quite formulaic. In fact, this was the other. I forgot. I was also going to say this, that because I was a journalist for many years on a national newspaper, so you were bringing out a paper every day. I would have my editor come every day and say, Jane, we need 1500 words on this in an hour. And I couldn't say, oh, but I'm sorry, I have writer's block today, or, but I don't feel inspired. You know, you just had to do it. You just. Whether you felt like it or not, whether you were inspired or not, you just had to sit down and write 1500 words. And I have to say, that's pretty much how I write my books. I split the chapters up into word counts. And I know that I have to fulfill a certain number of words, and sometimes it's a bit less, and sometimes it's a bit more. And I can, you know, adjust accordingly. But basically. Basically, I'm writing to a formula. You will notice that all my books have roughly the same number of pages now. Yeah, I think it can do. I feel very lucky in that I don't do an enormous amount of editing at all. And I'm not quite sure why that is. I tend to get the words on the page, and then I read through it. But I read through it for rhythm. You know, I'm really. It's all about how the words feel to me and whether they feel right in the sentences. And I usually jig them around a little bit and tweak it then. And after that, I don't do a huge amount. But everybody's different. And some People, you know, a first draft is very much a first draft and they will go and rework it and rework it and rework it. And actually, I also think it's very common for people who haven't been published to feel that they have to do tremendous amounts of editing. I've certainly had friends who have been writing books and who have paid for outside editors to come in and edit their books. And it's been a huge amount of work. And then they've paid for, they've shown it to somebody else who said, no, no, but this needs be to, to change and it can go on forever. And I tend to not let anybody read it until I finish. And then my editor at Penguin reads it and that's my agents and that's it. But again, I think writing for some people is tortuous. It isn't for me, sometimes it is. But on the whole, I really enjoy it. I feel like I've got this great life. I mean, I sit there and think, you know, where am I going to go today? I mean, that's what it's like. You know, it's just my imagination. And when I have to do research, I go off and do my research and then go back to telling stories. I knew that was going to be the next question. No, I'm really, really bad at children's stories. Horrible. I mean, and particularly for my 6 year old who is now obsessed with Star Wars. He's demanding. Well, he demands. Not just Star wars stories, but involving biker scouts, Django Fett, Boba Fett. I don't even know who these people are. And so I come up with these really ghastly stories. And he's now actually, he's like, all right, mom, just read something. You know, because they're just so bad. But I think I feel the same way about children's stories as I do about short stories, which is that they are a completely separate craft and something that you have to have a real skill at and you have to learn. And I haven't. And I certainly don't think I can do children's stor. And every time I try and do a short story, I hate doing short stories. It doesn't feel natural to me. I don't enjoy it. And there have been a couple of times where my publicist has said, oh, but they really want to, they really want to publish it. So I write a short story and think, actually it's not bad. And then I never hear from them. I swear to you, this happened last summer. I wrote this great short story for Good Housekeeping. I never heard from them. Oh, well. So I think that's it for the short stories. It. Thank you.