In this solo video, the presenter (Day 12, Step 11) walks listeners through the eleventh step of a codependency 12‑step recovery program, which calls for conscious contact with a higher power through prayer and meditation. She defines Step 11, acknowledges its religious language while encouraging personal wording, and frames it as an ongoing spiritual awakening that counters the human urge to control the uncontrollable. The speaker highlights the Insight Timer app as a central practical tool, citing its guided meditations, yoga nidra, and philosophical tracks. She shares personal routines—morning pauses, evening reflections, and throughout‑day check‑ins—and asks viewers to consider their own practices. A short guided breathing and body‑awareness exercise is delivered live, illustrating how to sit in stillness, notice sensations, and return gently to the breath. The video recommends deeper study resources: teacher Charles Friedli’s courses on the Tao Te Ching and Zen Buddhism, as well as the practice of zazen. An ethical note warns against “selfish prayer,” urging listeners to ask for alignment with natural flow rather than personal gain. The presenter concludes by inviting listeners to journal or meditate after the session and previews the final step (Step 12).
Chapters
Hey everyone, and welcome back for Day 12, Step 11. I realized that my microphone may not have been on, or it probably died in the last couple of sessions. Hopefully it's back on and it's working. But again, do I know what I'm doing per se? No. But does anyone know what they're doing? Also no. And that is comforting. So, step 11, sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out. That's a mouthful. Again, there is some religious connotation here, but I invite you to use whatever wording works for you. So for me, step 11 is all about Prayer and meditation. Prayer can be intention setting, manifestation, whatever works for you. And meditation, I don't even have to convince you of anything because you're on this app. You're on Insight Timer. Insight Timer has been an incredible tool for me to practice step 11 because it's provided me with this endless resource of guided meditation, silent meditation, yoga nidra, What else? Eastern philosophy, courses and courses and tracks and videos, and it's been a game changer for my 11th step. And so the 11th step truly is about continuing to enlarge your spiritual life. The 12 steps are fundamentally about having had a spiritual awakening and a spiritual experience and realizing that so much of our human suffering is rooted in our attempts to control That which is uncontrollable. So step 11 is really where those pages 88 and 89 in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book are, and— or 86 to 88. It doesn't matter. It's somewhere in the 80s. And that track that I alluded to in step 10, which is called On Awakening: A Secular Adaptation, I highly recommend listening to that. That is how I try to start my day, is Pausing, asking the universe for guidance, noticing where I'm gripping control. And so step 11 is just continuing to seek spiritually. And so my question for you is, what does your morning practice look like, if you have one? What does your evening practice look like? What do you do throughout your day to remember to turn it over, to remember to connect with whatever it is you may believe in spiritually? And so some of the questions in the codependent 12 steps are exactly that. Have you begun with prayer and meditation? What are your feelings and fears about prayer? What time of day works best for you? Do you have a favorite place? How do you meditate? Do you like meditation books? Which are your favorite? It's just asking you to get curious. But this is the one I really love in the 11th step. The next time you get stressed, instead of pushing harder, you might want to walk away from what you are doing and find a way to get quiet and centered. This has been so impactful for me. If you are at work, you may want to retreat into a private area. Breathe deeply, then let go of your thoughts, worries, and chaos. Allow peace and healing to enter your body. Stay with it as long as you can or as long as you need to. Is it easier said than done to just let go of your stress and the chaos you may be feeling? Yes, but this is where a meditation practice comes into play. For me, there are a few courses that have been incredibly impactful. They're the teacher that I've mentioned a couple of times now, but Charles Friedli. His courses on the Tao Te Ching and on Zen Buddhism have been instrumental for me in terms of experiencing my spirituality on a deeper level, and for the first time really ever practicing sitting still. No guided meditation, no book, no anything, just breathing. Now you may have the thought, oh, I'm bad at meditation. I can't sit still. Excuse me. No one is good at meditation when they start, and the point of meditation in any capacity is not to just sit and immediately have no thoughts. I'd like to do a course about the barriers to seated meditation because often it's, I'm too busy, I don't have the time, or I don't like it. Valid. Or, oh, I'm bad at, you know, clearing my head of thoughts. And we all are addicted to our thoughts. Try not thinking. Let's do it right now, actually. Let's do this. I invite you to clear your head of all thoughts right now. Don't think anything at all. Go. Interestingly, I was able to stop thinking. Maybe that's reverse psychology. How, how was that for you? It was a very short amount of time, but there are so many resources on this app. For me, what has been most impactful are those which lead me towards silence and sitting with silence. In the Tao Te Ching, it says something like, do you have the patience to sit in stillness until the waters of your mind clear? Or something like that. Until the mud settles and the water of your mind is clear. And I do think step 11 is very much the fire of continued self-discovery. The fire. See what I did there? Step 11 is everything. It's just continuing to explore spiritually. And so in this, I'm gonna invite you for the first time in this course To get comfortable, if you're seated, and even if you're doing something, just bringing attention to your body. What part of your body is touching the ground right now? Feel into that. You can keep your eyes open. You can close them. And we're just gonna take some deep breaths together. Noticing any sounds in your environment. Noticing your physical body, any tension or tightness. And noticing when you're caught in thought and gently coming back to the sensation of the breath. Just noticing what's here without judgment. Without bringing a story to your experience. And gently opening your eyes if they were closed. Just noticing what's there. And if you want more of that, there's so much of that on this app, but there's also endless opportunity to just be wherever you are. Interestingly, I want more of that. I might wrap up this course and then just practice zazen, just seated awareness with no distractions. Step 11 is about continuing to seek spiritually, mindfully, meditatively. And it encourages us to watch out for selfish prayer, which means asking the universe for things for you that would only impact you. So if I'm feeling financially fearful, I don't say, okay, universe, please, please help bring money into my life. I personally don't do that. In the step, it says we're careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. So rather, help me trust the natural flow of things. Help me know what step to take next, but not, you know, give me more money. Not let me find my partner if you are single and looking, right? It's help me to meet reality where it is and meet myself where I'm at and just trust that I'm taken care of. I think step 11 is a topic I could sit with and talk about forever, but I'm gonna leave you here to maybe meditate a bit or journal. See what comes up for you. And I will see you tomorrow for the last step, step 12. I'll see you there.
