In this solo instructional video, therapist Hannah Rose, LCPC, walks viewers through Step 5 of her 12‑step framework for caretakers, rescuers, and people‑pleasers. Step 5 requires admitting to a higher power, to oneself, and to another trusted human being the exact nature of one’s shortcomings, essentially reading aloud the Step 4 inventory. Rose explains why this act of vulnerability dissolves shame, which thrives in secrecy, and how it enables a spiritual shift—a “significant alteration in reaction to life.” She clarifies that the inventory should focus on one’s own patterns, resentments, and fears, not on others’ faults, and that sharing it with a therapist, coach, sponsor, clergy member, or even aloud to oneself or the universe can be healing. The video also offers practical guidance for those without a 12‑step sponsor, suggesting Insight Timer teachers, Al‑Anon, CODA, and other fellowship resources. Throughout, Rose adopts a candid, supportive tone, encouraging authenticity, honesty, and connection as pathways to lasting change.
Chapters
Hey everyone, and welcome back to this course that I still have not named. I'm thinking the 12 Steps for Caretakers, Rescuers, People Pleasers. I'm not sure. I'm just going to be honest with you about where I'm at in this journey. I'm recording a full course in one day, so I've had to change positions as the lighting in my home is moving around. So welcome to this side of my house. So we are on step 5, which is admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our shortcomings. Basically, we take our 4th step and we read it to someone else. This is huge because shame festers in secrecy. And so whether you have things on there that you've never told another person, or you are someone who typically overshares and everyone knows everything, this is still a very vulnerable experience because your 4th step written inventory should have all of your resentments in depth, all of your fears in depth, relationship dynamics and patterns. I mean, the main question is, What patterns continue to show up in your life? Well, friends, it happened. My phone ran out of space, but we're back. So what are my patterns of behavior that contribute to the dysfunction in my relationships? What are my patterns of behavior that are contributing to my suffering? And the sun is coming out in a really beautiful way right now. Wow. So step 5 is about admitting to God. So can I concede to my innermost self, my intuition, my alignment with the universe, whatever it is I believe in, and am demonstrating that belief through faith because I'm going through this process, right? Admitted to God, to ourselves, conceding to our innermost self, and to another human being. Therapist, coach, confidant, sponsor if you're in a 12-step program, member of the clergy. I mean, just, it's kind of like pulling from confessional, but it's also not meant to be punitive or shaming. It's like, it's incredibly healing sitting down with another person and saying You know, these are the things I'm the most ashamed of, and these are my resentments, and these are my fears. And another person just hearing you and seeing you and holding space for all of you and helping you to look at your patterns of behavior, but in a way that feels supportive. Because again, that 4th step inventory is your inventory. It's not an inventory about everyone else and all of their shortcomings. It's about Hey, if I'm able to take a solid inventory of my part in things, I get to make changes. I get to release the things I'm holding on to, and I get to fundamentally change how I react and respond to life. And that is what a spiritual experience is defined as towards the end of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous: a significant alteration in my reaction to life. I mean, I relate to that. How I react to life today is not how I used to react to life a month, a year, 15 years ago. And so step 5 is about connection. It's about dissipating shame, because shame lives in the secrets, right? Shame lives in our isolation. And so this is about vulnerability, authenticity, honesty, and really bearing our souls to another person, to ourselves, and to whatever it is that we believe in. So step 5 is pretty simple in my opinion. You just take step 4 and you go through it with someone that you trust. And if you're not in a 12-step program, that may feel like a tall order. And so for now, maybe Read it out loud when you're alone. Read it to the universe. Read it to whoever it is or whatever it is that you might believe in, right? Coming back to step 2 and 3, or reach out to someone. I can't stress enough, there are so many teachers on Insight Timer who provide one-on-one meetings. I meet with a teacher on Insight Timer and it's been so profoundly impactful. So there are also local Al-Anon meetings, CODA meetings, and you can look online and connect with these 12-step fellowships if you're interested in it. But for now, know that the 5th step is essentially sharing your 4th step with another person, with yourself, and with your higher power.
