367 | Amanda Jenkins | Perseverance As A Mom In The Kingdom Of God

All right. I know by now that you have seen the Chosen. You probably love it maybe as much as I do, I don't know. But I'm super excited because we're going to get a little peek behind what all goes into that. Like, behind every great event, every great production, every great creation, there's a family mom. And today we're going to talk with Amanda Jenkins and find out how. How she's doing it all and what's up next. Amanda, I'm so happy we get to hang out today.

I am, too. Thanks for having me.

Yeah. This is so cool. I got to share with people who are listening, watching. We're like, okay, what are we going to cover? Amanda is as totally chill as I am. She's like, I don't care. Cover whatever. So no holds barred here. And of course, I know, like, you know, you're watching, listening to that. You've seen the Chosen. And we had Dallas on, and he was sharing about that as well and how that came about and his beautiful story. And the cool thing is, Amanda, it came up last night. We were talking. My husband. I were talking, and, you know, we. There's ups and downs, there's valleys, you know, in everything that we're creating and producing. And we were just in a tight spot, and I was like, oh, my goodness. Like, this is so frustrating. You know, just speaking out circumstances. And my husband's like, yeah, remember how frustrating it was for. For Dallas and for me, I'm like, you're right. You. You're right. You're right. And so you've got a lot of things coming out. Tell us first, like, what is your latest thing that you're working on?

Well, we do Bible studies and devotional books for every season that coincide with every season. I'm always writing a season ahead, so it always takes me a second to go, okay, what is. What is actually available? And then we do. We do have this great harmony of the Gospels, is what we call it the Chosen Presents. The harmony of the Gospels. That is the. One of the coolest. It's. It's. It's. You know, there's scripture that is put alongside, you know, different translations put alongside one another, or the Gospels put alongside. This is actually merged into, like, a story. So all of the gospels merged into one story. That reads more like a story because we're storytellers. So it's just. It's a. It's a great read. And so this. We've got that out, too. So we're always doing something that we hope in between seasons points people back to Scripture. That's our. Our heart behind that.

That is so beautiful. And there's no better story in the world than that redemption story. You know, it's. It's so good. And one thing that I noticed, and I'm sure this comes a lot from you, is I feel like the chosen is so. For so many people, Jesus has become relatable. You know, he's accessible. And I just see so much of real life and real experience in the telling of the story of Jesus and telling of the disciples and those people who were so greatly affected by his life, as we are affected by his life and his death and his resurrection. But tell us, like, give us a little backstory if we can go, like, behind the scenes. And you're a mom, you're your wife. You're going through this whole roller coaster ride. Like, tell us how this all began. Like, I know, you know, when Dallas was on, he shared a lot about, you know, he's like, this is my last effort. This is. I'm just put, like, you know, sometimes we're just led by the spirit. We're like, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm just putting it out there.

So.

But tell us about your. Your part in this. What. What. How are you doing with, like, being the mom, being the wife, being. Doing everything there as well?

Yeah, well, watching him fail in his career was. Was brutal just because, you know, we're their biggest cheerleader. And everything that he had worked for fell apart and really irrevocably, like, it was. It was really not something he could put back together. When he had a movie fail and then the phone stopped ringing, it was. It was literally that. And he just didn't think he'd ever make anything again. And yet God had put on his heart this idea, which was beautiful and. But no way forward, except the one way that ended up presenting itself, which was this weird crowdfund. So it wasn't even like there was choice in it. It was, this is all there is to do. And so we're doing it. But. But for me, I am the one who is in the house. I'm the one who pays the bills. I'm the one who's making the practical stuff work. And this. None of it was practical. None of the. None of this new plan was practical to the point of I really had to totally wrestle with the Lord. I mean, like, months of wrestling with the Lord over this notion that we were going to step out in faith and crowdfund and depend on finances that we had no reason to believe would come in and. And really just the Lord asking me to go without a plan. And I'm someone who plans. You can't not plan when you're a mom and when you're taking care of the kids and when you're dealing with. We even have chronic health issues in our house. And so it was. There were real practical problems that. That had to. The needs that had to be met. And so for me, I feel like I was the one churning under the surface, to be honest. And the Lord kind of had to deal with me first in order to get to a place where I was like, okay, we'll step out in faith. Because without me agreeing to go, he. It would. It would have made Dallas's job a lot harder. He was quicker to it than I was, I would say. But, yeah, and then watching God, you step out in faith and you don't see how on earth is this going to work. But then God is so kind. He made the steps very, very small.

Where.

Okay, trust me with this, okay? That bill is paid. Okay, trust me with this, okay? That need is provided for and. And all of a sudden you're walking this road and you're like, this is the coolest thing ever that I never would have agreed to do. I never would have agreed to go if it weren't for desperation. Yeah, that's what got me there.

Like, the desperation. Like, people don't. Sometimes people see the finished work. I remember one time I was watching an interview with. Oh, my gosh, what's his name? The. The cartoonist with Marvel. Oh, I cannot think of his name. Okay, someone there's got to think of his name. Who. Who on set can think of his name? Please, somebody help me here. Oh, this is driving me crazy. No one else. I can think of his name.

No one. No one knows the name.

The Marvel guy, something. Lee. Stanley. Stanley.

The main guy.

Okay, the main guy.

The main guy. Okay.

I wonder if we're going to keep that in the podcast or not. So anyway, I'm watching this documentary on Stanley, right? And they were interviewing him, and they. And this was all after, like, the big, you know, Marvel explosion that happened, like, several years ago. And. And they're like, what do you think about this overnight success? And I'll never forget his reply was, if that was an overnight success, that was the longest night of my life.

Sure. Yeah.

People are seeing the chosen. Like, wow, what a. What a slam head. What a great story. Like, wow, this just came out of nowhere. And. And that's not the perspective from you. Like, you were there when you're wondering, what on earth are we doing?

Yeah, well, yeah. And I would say it's not even. I. I don't know that we could even put it into the category of this goal that Dallas had that he just worked for. And it took so many years. I mean, I know that would be a Stan Lee's approach, but I feel like what the Lord did in us in that time is that he. He demolished it ever being about us.

Like, he.

That's what he took away. It wasn't that, you know, you just have to work a little harder or trust me with your dream, it was like, no, your dreams suck. That's what. That's what was the lesson. And my dream is the one. My dream for you is the one I'm planting in your heart. So when God says, I'll give you the desires of your heart, most of the time, if you're reading that in the context of the whole of scripture, it's not a desire you came up with. It's something he actually, if you're walking with him and following him, he actually is placing there. So first for us, he had to demolish. He had. We had to have empty ground, I would say, where we were laying on the ground. And then God was like, great, now you're ready to do something I want you to do. And so it was a very different. It's a very different experience after that to this. Dallas loves making tv. Don't get me wrong. He. He. He always wanted to do that, but he didn't want to do it this way. This. This content, these stories. This was a God thing planted on his heart. So that was different too. It was. It wasn't our. It wasn't our dream necessarily. It became our dream.

That's so powerful because it was God's dream.

Yeah. And those work a lot better.

It does seem to have a better, Better success rate. Like God. Yeah. When it's like, we' forcing enforcing, it's got to be this way. And. But, but how do we know? Like, I think sometimes people are like, but I know God gave me this vision and let me go after it. And then when it's not working, I think sometimes we can get almost disgruntled at God and get that disappointment set in. And we forget to operate by faith and really lean in and say, God, what? I don't have to marry this dream, Right? I want to.

Yeah. I feel like I'm learning that as we go because not only. Even if we start with open hands, we take. We take it back pretty quick.

You're right.

We take ownership of success pretty quick. We take. Okay, now that this is working, now we'll do this other thing. We have a lot of people asking us all the time, what's next? And it's not that we're never having those conversations. We have those conversations because they're organic conversations. But I'm like, oh, my gosh. Well, we haven't exactly been led in that direction yet, because we're not there yet. God tends to be a God of the day. God, you know, he's worried. Worry about today. Tomorrow has enough trouble of its own. And when you're planning three years out, five years out, vision board, whatever, you're probably going to end up disgruntled because I think you've run. You've probably run ahead of the Lord. So I actually think it's a better thing. Even if you have something that you really want to do and you really care about. I think. I think our passions are good as long as they're under submission to the Lord. But I think a better thing is to go, what do you want me to do today?

What.

What can I work on today? How can I serve you today? How can I put myself aside today? And I just think we have wrong priorities sometimes when it comes to those dreams. And so instead of it being the main thing, it needs to really fall under submission to, like, okay, God's thing and open hands. And I think if we keep open hands and we don't run ahead, we don't get as disgruntled.

Well, you know, I think there's some people who are watching, listening, interviewing. Who? Oh, me. Like, sometimes I know that it's hard to discriminate. Like, what. What is my dream? What is yours? Like, when. When those lines are kind of blurry. And I know, you know, we always hear, like, keep. Keep moving toward it. Keep doing the thing. Keep that goal in place. Keep that dream alive. Um, how did you know? Like, when you and Dallas are looking at each other and you're thinking, do we. Is every. Do we just, like, stop doing this? Do we just, like, let this go? What was that like?

Yeah, I. I am practicing currently, daily. What I'm. What I'm about to say. But I. I've learned to say, okay, Lord, this seems like the step in front of us. Close the door if it's the wrong thing. Like, just that constant laying on the altar of, like. I feel like this is the direction we're supposed to go. And it seems like we're working, but close that. Do I only want to go where you're going? So that practice of that being our daily offering, Right. Putting the dream on the altar daily, maybe hourly for some people.

Yeah.

I don't think you necessarily have to discern is this the right thing or the wrong thing. It can be just a. I'm going to take my steps today, and I'm going to trust you to close the door. I'm going to be okay with it if it closes?

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I remember hearing Joyce Meyer say, step out and find out. And I remember that just. I really, really spoke to me. Because we can get frozen in thinking there's a right move, right? Like God, I'm not going to move till the right move. Well, there's. There's wisdom there. However, if we make no move, like God can't steer a parked car, and if he's faithful to. To tell us the next step, he's faithful to tell us the step after that as well. I think sometimes we want to step. See the whole path before we make a move forward. I mean, of course, all of us do.

Like, we want that all the time. Yeah, we want it all the time.

Right. I want to read the last chapter. No, it turns out great, then I'll read the book. But, you know, God always just says, trust me in this moment. Just like you said that moment by moment, almost like resigning, you know, our will to place that under God's will. Just like, you know, I always think about Jesus, that excruciating moment when he didn't want to go to the cross. And he said, if it's. If there's any way I can get out of this. But then those beautiful words, not my will, but dine be done. And I think every day it's like, God, this is really what I want. This is. This is what I'm thinking would be awesome. This is what I don't want. But God, not my will. But, Dinah, that's the beauty of saying, I want to yield to what you have me to do, because I know that that will bring out the desire in my heart that will even know what that desire is.

Right?

Like, we don't have to know. Like, we think. Here's the deal. We think we know.

I know it's hard to know. And the heart is deceitful above all things. Bible says, too, right? And so it's one thing to say, I feel this thing, but I. I'm going to constantly bring it under submission to you. Because I could be. I could get it wrong or I could take something that was right today and I could corrupt it, because that's what I tend to do as well. I. There's how we measure, you know, God allowing us to do something, something working isn't necessarily measured in financial success, right? I think that's a thing we do too. We go, this thing I'm wanting to do or that's on my heart, not only is am I supposed to be doing this, but if successful, it will look this way. This is, this is the measure of its success. And I think that's a mistake too. And I know that's easy for me to say in this moment because the chosen is doing well. But we truly, behind closed doors, we don't assume we even have a next season. We really are working hard to stay on the short leash with the Lord because I. We have done the thing where we've run ahead. We have done that thing where, you know, if you've ever seen a dog on a short leash by its owner walking, and you might get a little yank, right? Of like, nope, stay by me. That and that, that's not a good feeling, that little yank. But worse than that is the dog that's on a leash and doesn't really even remember it and runs full speed to the end of it and gets taken off its feet, you know, and it's. I've done that and I don't want to do that. I want, I want the daily yank. I want to be on the short lease. I do not want to get ahead of the Lord. And so I think there's this, you know, it all coming under submission to the Lord with our dreams and our desires and what success looks like. It all has to live under his plan. And I, we've gotten really, really excited about doing God's thing to the point where not doing God's thing sounds a little boring to me, which is so crazy because this is, and this is a true story probably, I don't know, 15, 18, 20 years ago, something like that. I remember we were in California, we were young, we had young kids, we were going to the social parties, we were doing all the LA industry things. And Dallas's dream was to make films with a Christian worldview, but weren't necessarily Christian. And, and just, you know, like, that was a. It's a kid's dream. It's a. It was a selfish dream, but it was what he was doing and I was excited about it and Then he. He's mowing the lawn one day and he comes inside for mowing the lawn and he goes, I think God wants me to make Christian content, like explicitly Christian content. And I am not kidding. I was like, ew. No, That seemed boring to me. The only Christian content I was familiar with, I didn't think was. Was all that great. I was not excited about that dream at all. I did not encourage that dream at all.

Go back out, mow the lawn some more, talk to him. Yeah, sure.

Okay.

I'm sure that's like jiving with me really.

Well, let's keep that as a theory or a good thought.

Yeah. You're dehydrated. Yeah.

So then fast forward to God actually demolishing his dream and us having to grieve that and then rebirthed in us this thing where we're not excited about anything else. Like the idea of if someone came to him tomorrow, which they wouldn't, but if someone came to him, said, you can direct the next Marvel film, that would not. That would hold no interest because it's. No, we just want to tell the stories of Jesus. That's what we are.

We.

We are on that train because furthering the kingdom is the new dream. So I, I think when, when we come under that submission, he actually blesses us by putting our passions in line with his so that what we're doing is actually more enjoyable than if we're like, trying to make him the means to our ends.

That is so good. It's like, here's my dream. God bless it, right?

Yeah. Yeah. That never works.

We always want to think it will, but it never really has. And I love that idea where it's. That's. That's the new dream. Like that, like anything apart from that has lost its luster. It doesn't even, it's just, it's not even like tempting at all.

No, it's not a fight anymore. But, but there was a lot of pain to get there. I would suggest disciplining yourself before the Lord disciplines you.

That's what I would say.

Like, to be, to be pushed down to the ground is more painful than to like get down, you know? So if, if you've got that in you, I would do that first.

Always, always goes before destruction and a hottest spirit goes before a great fall. Like, you can't not live by that law. If you operate in pride and saying, I'm going to trust this dream and it's me and let me run ahead, it will have a downfall to it, and so do do we want that? That, just like you said, the long leash or the shortlist, do we, do we want to run ahead or can we just feel the shepherd with that crook saying, hey, stick with me, stick with me. It's so much more gentle and loving and fulfilling, which is we forget about that. We always think, but we are so sad. And like, this is what I want. Like, I hear people talk about I want to get married to this kind of person, or I want this career or I'm going to have this kind of family. I want to live here. It's like when we marry, that dream, we. We have imagined some reality there that will fulfill us. Yeah.

When.

And I've seen it so many times, you get there and there's something that's not fulfilling, but everything. When we can align ourselves with God and his dream, then it always is fulfilling. That's. That's the perplexing thing, that if we could just resign ourselves to know that he. His ways are higher than our ways, it would be so much easier.

Yeah.

It would be so much easier. Yeah.

We avoid a lot of the pain that way.

Yeah, that's. That's so true. So what about if, you know, someone's listening or watching right now and they're like, oh, Amanda, you're. You're preaching to me. I feel like I've kind of gotten out of that. I feel like I've run ahead. Like, we don't want the destruction that can come before the reconstruction. We kind of want to avoid that. But what about that person who's like, what do I do, Amanda? Like, I really do feel like I've kind of created something that now is kind of self destructing.

Well, yeah, I think God is really kind. I think the moment that we turn back and we go, oh, gosh, I've. I've run ahead of you and I'm. Open up. I'm opening up my hands and I'm coming to you and asking. He. He puts those pieces together. You know, he walks us out of our own mess that we've created for ourselves. Whether it's physically or spiritually or financially or whatever it is. He. He walks us out and he. And he promises to. He promises to be faithful in that if we come to him and get low and ask for help.

He's.

He's. That's like his favorite thing. I'll lead you if you let me lead you. Yeah.

Never stopped redeeming.

Right.

Like, he redeems. He restores us, his character. I always think about. It's so Beautiful. When he could have, you know, by abiding by the law, he could have condemned that woman who was caught in adultery. But the first thing he showed her was, I'm not accusing you right now out of that love. You bring all the, all the sin to me. You bring all the trash, but you bring the failure, you bring the heartache to me. Now this is going to be met in a place of love. Now you can go and be equipped to do your next calling. And so I think sometimes if we could just understand more of the nature of Jesus, which is what you guys are doing, and the chosen is revealing that nature of Jesus. If we can know more about his love, then we would trust right in align with it.

Right? It would be a lot easier. And that's what it comes down to is, do I believe that his way is the better way for me personally and for the world, Do I actually believe that? And I think that's the. I think that's the growth point that everybody has to kind of get to that place of what do I actually believe about who God is? Do I actually believe he's good? Do I actually believe he's faithful and that he'll meet me in this place? And I think a really great prayer is, no, right now I don't. So help me to believe that you're good. Help me in my unbelief, I think is such an. It's. It's a prayer I frequently go back to because, you know, where our unbelief is churned up constantly. At every new phase we're finding, we keep thinking we'll get to a place where we have our arms around this new thing or we'll get to a place where we have enough systems in, in, in place that make us feel like we can keep our head above water or if we'll just get around the corner. And, and I think God intentionally is not ever letting us get to that place so that we never stop depending on that daily. Like, okay, let me realign my heart. Let me show us how to manage this. We're out of our depth. You know, it's a do. What do we believe about him? Do we believe that he'll meet us in that place? Or do we believe that he portions out help and then we're done for a little bit? Oh, I got the help. Now I go forward. What do we actually believe about the nature of God? And I think the more, you know, I think wisdom comes from age. And the older I get, the more I'm realizing that It's a constant dependence, and that's the goal. It's not. It's not a greater independence based on my spiritual maturity. It's a realization of how unable I am to maintain anything good apart from the daily with him.

That's so true. It's like Paul saying all of this accomplishment, it's nothing with filthy rags compared to the glory. And. And he even tells us, like, unless you can become like a child, you can enter into this kingdom, this kingdom of how we operate and how we live and how God pours his power through us. Right. And it's almost that childlike dependency of, I don't know, but you do. So I'm open.

Yeah.

And it's funny, the older we get, the more childlike we need to become, right? Because we always think, you know, when we're in our 20s, 30s, it's just like, I could do anything and let me go after. I mean, I'm just speaking for myself, maybe.

Oh, 100.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Older I get, the more I'm like, oh, wow. It really does come. Come down to the simplicity of trust. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, ma'. Am. Hard.

It's simple. It's just really super hard.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's super hard to yield. It is. It is. Absolutely. So how. I just. I just want to ask you. I know we're closing up on our time together, but how has this, you know, you've kind of been placed in the spotlight over the past few years. How has this affected you as a mom and. And raising your kids and all the family dynamics? I mean, it's.

It can be weird at times, but it. It's. Again, I just feel like it goes back to that place of God so appropriately squashed us that I don't. We're not that impacted by it. Yeah. Like, you know, in the ground. We're not that impacted by it.

Far too well.

He's appropriately squashed us. So that on the. On the coming up, it's like, you know, the. I think both on. On. On both ends, the. The. The praise and the. The. The popularity of it and whatever is. It doesn't actually have that great of an impact, and neither does the criticism. So it's. If you hate what we're doing, if you love what we're doing, it doesn't. It doesn't really impact that much. I mean, there. There are some things that are hilarious. Like, I don't. I'm actually not on social media a ton. And the other night I got on and the chosen had posted another Podcast, and I actually was just kind of scrolling through and there was a comment.

Tell me you did not scroll.

I did the scroll. I shouldn't have done the scroll. But I'm so glad that I did because it gave me the giggles in such a. This woman just said she makes me sick.

Well, that's so.

And hilarious.

I just.

But that. I don't know why that stuff doesn't impact us. It is more just kind of like, people are crazy.

People are crazy also. That is. That is basically the. The one. One truth we can get to in this podcast interview is people are cream.

Yeah. Yeah. So on. On both ends. I know the pre. The. The popularity and the fame of it all, honestly, isn't impacting us all that much. May it ever be so. And neither does the criticism all that much. So it's. Sometimes it's weird when you're stopped in the airport or you're trying to get somewhere, or every so often it bugs my kids because, you know, we'll be doing something and it'll be interrupted or whatever, but. But it's always like, the people are. There are a lot of wonderful people, too. And so it's been great to hear the stories. And. And so it's. It's a little weird, it's a little silly, and it's a little. Who cares? It's all those things.

Yeah. It's funny because in. In that squashing, you kind of developed an immunity. None of this really matters.

Yeah. Let me tell you where I've been. None of this really matters. Yeah.

Yeah. That's so true. Oh, my goodness. Amanda, thank you so much. Before you. Before we cut this off, I would love for you to share, just for that person who is feeling like I'm just like. I'm just like this person was watching or listening. They're like, I just want to see it happen. For me, it's been so long, or maybe I've, like, run ahead of God or, you know, I know his kindness, but how do I really align myself? What would you say to that person right now who's listening that hope?

Well, there's no formula. I'll share what I'm personally learning up to the present moment through a different thing. I have a kid that is chronically ill, and it's been a really rough season for her, and I kept on praying. What I felt like was a really good prayer was for her healing and her deliverance and that God would ease her suffering. So I'm praying this, and I'm praying this, and I'm praying this, and it's not working. And I'm. And I'm poured out, and she's poured out, and it's. It's difficult. And God finally was like, how about you ask me how to pray? Ask me how to pray. And so I was like, how did I not think of that sooner? But I opened up a journal and I got a pen, and I was like, all right, tell me how to pray. And it was so different than how I'd been praying for her. And one of the main things she wouldn't mind me sharing was he said, pray that her faith and my goodness will increase in spite of her circumstances. And, And. And so now I. I just. I'm a little on repeat with that prayer, but wouldn't you know, I'm seeing her faith in his goodness increase in spite of her circumstances. And so I would say, no matter what, the thing is that you're straining for or grieving or feeling unseen in. Maybe. Maybe just take a minute to go, okay, Lord, what. What say you? What do you want? What do I ask for? How do I even ask for my own help? How do I ask for my way forward? I don't think God speaks to us all the same way, necessarily. So it could be searching the Scriptures. It could be that he gives you an encouraging word from someone else. But God loves that kind of prayer. And that is the kind of prayer he answers every time when we're saying, what do you want? Show me how do I pray those kinds of prayers? He's. He's faithful to answer. So I would say that because otherwise you're very likely asking for something that is outside the true, even desire of your heart that you don't even know yet.

You don't even know. You don't even know. Amanda, that is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing that. I know that's very personal with you, but I know it has blessed so many people. Thank you so much.

Thanks for having me.

Oh, my gosh, it's been amazing. Thank you for your faith. Thank you for what you're doing and allowing God to just shine through. Through you in this time for all these people.

Thanks. Thanks, you too. Ditto. I've seen your stuff.

Oh, thank you. Thank you so.

Much.