380 | Crazy Blessed | Sarah Molitor | Well Said

Welcome back to Crazy Blessed. You know, guys, that I always bring you the coolest people, right? You're going to love today's guest because she's so much like me. I don't even know, Like, I already love her. She has seven kids. You probably know her from her Instagram account, Modern Farmhouse Family. I am super excited because she's got some little strategies, some little tricks up her sleeve that she's going to share with you about how to really build that family unity, that vibe that you want in your home. So excited, excited. Buckle up, because you're gonna be blessed like crazy in today's episode. All right, guys, I've got Sarah Molitor here today, and she is incredible, and I'm so excited that we have, like, sequestered her, and I without even, like. Like, I don't even need to put her through any, like, threats. She's gonna share all her goods with us today, so I'm super excited about that. Sarah, thanks so much for hanging out with me.

Thank you for having me. I'm super excited to be on it with you.

Oh, my goodness. I love following your Instagram account and seeing all your beautiful kids. Like, what even. I love that. And I gotta share something funny with you that. I mean, my kids are grown. Like, I actually. They're all adults, which I can't even get over right now. But I. I'll. I'll, like, scroll through your Instagram account. I've seen, like, this huge family. Like, wait, that was literally what I looked like. I wondered why everyone stared at me in the grocery store when I had a baby in a backpack and a baby in the front swing and five other ones, like, holding on. What are you looking at? Like, this is normal life. I don't get it, but I'm so excited you're going to kind of share, like, what's the magic behind everything? How do you make it all work? Like, what are the strategies? So share a little bit about your story so people can just know you better and let's get the show on the road. Yeah.

I married my husband 14 years ago, and I was laughing as you're saying, like, that's what I looked like, because I still feel like I'm in this mode because my kids are little and we haven't even, like, broached the teen years yet. I'm like, oh, our little family. And I'm like, because they're little. You know, like, because they're all little. But not because I'm sure at some point I'm going To have to, like, switch that and be like, oh, my big family. But for right now, I still feel like it's my little family. And Tim and I, my husband. I don't think we ever set out and said, like, we're going to have a big family. Yeah, that's what we're going to do. It was just. I think we both came from, you know, four and six slightly larger families. So it seemed like, yeah, four, at least the minimum of the. That is like a good number. And then as each one came, you know, one to two, kind of like that shocker transition, but like. Or, like zero to one, I guess. Like, life is great. You have one, you can manage that one to two, you're like, okay, now I have a toddler and a little one. And then you start to wonder, like, maybe, I don't know, is that many kids in the cards for us? But once you kind of, you know, Hannah, like, you kind of encroach upon that, like four or five, you're suddenly.

Or is the crossover. Yes, it is.

I agree with that.

Because, like this I was telling someone, like I said, from two to three is the hardest. Yes. Because now it's no longer you trying to figure out how to handle things. Now you have to institute systems. Yes. Everything. When you go to. When you. When you go to three and then from three to four, it's like, we got this. What's another for you? What's. What's another Three. Three more added into the mix, you know? Yeah, but. Yeah, that would. That's so funny that you say that, because when people are like, oh, my gosh, I don't know how you did it. I have. I only have two. I'm like, girl, that two, two is way harder than having seven. Like, I know.

I agree. Yes, I agree. And it's crazy because you think, you know, little systems that you implement early on, you honestly don't know how much they're actually going to set the stage for what you do later. Like, people will say things like, you know, how do you do xyz? Or like, what's that? That's the most common question.

Right.

And you're like, I just. I guess I just do it. But what you don't realize is, no, you did set something in place early on to make that sustainable, and now you do just do it. But it's because you did the hard work early on and you set that in place. So there is, you know, there is a formula for it, so to speak, that fits for each family. But There is work that has to go in to create that so that when you get to that, 4, 5, 6, things kind of move along like a rolling train. And you're like, all right, now we're chugging along. Now we're going.

Now we're doing this now. Now we just poured gas on the fire. We're good. I got to share with you something so funny that I know you'll appreciate because we're just like minds. I may or may not have been watching the Kardashians the other day. Okay. It's just like, bear with me. And she was talking about making breakfast for our kids and she's like, you know, sometimes I'll want to make breakfast for my kids instead of the chef, which you know how that is. Like, you know, you want to give the chef the day off, right?

Sure, sure.

We'll pretend like I do in another dimension. I'm talking about, okay, we're going to spend reality for a moment. And she like, sometimes I just want to, like, tell the chef now, and I just want to make breakfast for the kids. But then one wants a smoothie and then one wants this. And I'm like, oh, my God, could you imagine?

No.

Like, no, we're having a big butt pot of oatmeal. What you want to put on it? That's up to you. You want some dried coconut, you go with it, girl. Like, yeah, that's. That's our life. And so I just thought, it's funny, but you're right. The hard work that you do to systemize things, it's like, now you just made it easier.

Yes.

Like a well oiled machine.

Yeah. And it doesn't mean, I mean, how many times have we like gone back and be like, okay, that's not working.

That does not work.

And I think that sometimes where, like, people get stuck, it's like, I hated this system. It is a good system. It worked. It worked in the past and maybe it didn't work now. And I'm. I feel like I'm right in the middle of that right now with homeschooling. You know, I was sharing something the other day that we were doing a new organization system and people were like, if I have been doing this for years, I'm like, well, that's wonderful. We are just trying something new that might work for us now because what's been working, although not bad, can be improved upon and better. And so I think there's both mindsets. There's just like, set things in place, try systems now, start Doing things now to see what works. But don't get stuck in that so that when you get later down the road, you're not like, no, I've got to stick with what's working. There's flexibility and grace and growth within that to move into something different for the season you're in.

Absolutely. Like, I remember when the kids were really little and I got these, like, aprons, like these waist aprons with two pockets.

Right.

And so all their chores had little. Like, they each had a little hook, and I would put their chore cards on the hook, and they would put them in one pocket, and when they were done with the chore, put it in another pocket. Worked beautifully for several years. As you're getting into, like, middle school and high school, they're not going to put on a waste. Like, if they did, I'd be like, baby, you got to get out more often. I'm just.

Yeah, but.

But, you know, with little pictures on it, like a little dust rag, you know? Yeah, but I mean, so you have to, like, evolve with your family, and it just takes on different dimensions. But that's. I think it's like thinking two steps ahead of them. Like, you got to stay two steps ahead. But then. Then it all works.

Yeah, it does. Somehow it all comes together. And I'm so thankful, I guess I'm just so thankful for that constant encouragement, even from, like, my own mom that tells me, like, you're doing great, but you don't have to stay stuck. Like, be willing to try new things. And I think as a. As females, as moms, as even a culture, like, somehow change has gotten this really bad rap that, like, oh, change means you were wrong. Like, that means you were wrong. And you can't if you admit to that, like, wow, you know, and so how can we get back to this area where change means I'm willing to not stay stuck and to find what's best for my season? So change isn't wrong. Change isn't bad. Change is saying, like, it's almost like a. A humbling. It's almost like above that. It's almost like that means you're, like, willing to be moldable and pliable. And that's exactly what we're putting into our children and trying to teach them. So if we can model that well, like, how much more for them is that going to help them out in the future to see a mom who can say, hold the bus, we're gonna shift. This obviously didn't work or it worked, but we gotta figure out Something now, like, what a gift. Like, what a gift to our kids, what a gift to our family, and what a gift to other moms who are following along to be encouraged that they don't have to be afraid of change as well and stay stuck.

That is so beautiful. I remember one time asking one of my mentors, he. He was like, I will tell you the number one secret to any type of success you want to achieve. Be teachable.

Yes, yes.

You know, just be like. And that's why I believe what, you know, when God says that, you know, pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit goes before a great fall. That, like, if we can't operate in humility and be teachable, then the other choice is, I'm going to operate in pride and I'm going to stick to this. I'm going to white knuckle this thing. And then that's where it's so destructive. It can be destructive to us personally and as a mom, destructive to our whole family. Because the way the mom goes is the way the whole family goes.

Yeah, it sets the tone. Absolutely.

Yeah.

I. And I think, I mean, you're talking about Jesus modeling that for us, right? Like, he walked with his disciples all these years, and every time he's telling a parable, he's telling a story, they're saying, like, so you're saying this. He's like, aren't you hearing me? Like, aren't you understanding? Because it's not just a heart to do X, Y, Z. It's a heart after change. And to say, like, I'm hearing and I'm understanding. My son and I were just having this conversation. He had, like, a test, like a quarter exam test, right? And he is my firstborn, my type A. Like, I'm going to do everything right, Mom. I'm going to get it right. I'm going to make it look good. Like, I'm going to do all these things. He did not do so hard on this test. And he was like, I don't like this. And I, we, you know, we went over everything and I said, do you understand why you missed this? And he's like, well, yes, I understand it. Like, I understand that. And I'm like, well, then great. Like, I am not out here to pump out numbers and figures that make you look good, and neither are you. Like, I'm out here to make sure your heart and your head are working together to understand things and so you can be a critical thinker and think outside the box and not just be a box checker. Right? And, like, that's the type of child, you know, that God's called you to be is not someone that just follows the rules. And it's hard for him, but he's getting it, you know, And I know he'll get it. But it's these types of conversations that are a good reminder of me that, oh, yeah, I'm called to not be a box checker either. Like, I'm called.

Absolutely. That's so good. I remember telling my kids, I mean, I homeschooled them all too. And I remember telling them when they started going into, like, co ops and doing some of the classes at local colleges, I was like, I don't care what grade you make. Like, I know that sounds like the most, like, preposterous mom statement in the world, but I really don't care what kind of grades you make. I care about your heart. I care about you being teachable. I care about you learning how to communicate what you learn and making an impact and staying in God's purpose. Like, I don't make an A. Make a B. Make it okay. Make enough. You got to do it over. But if you made a hundred, it just shows me you. I mean, it's good. Yay.

Yay.

You got 100. But I know you, like, where did. Where do you need to learn? Where do you need to grow? And it's important that we do reward their performance. But it can't stay in the performance because. Because God is not looking at our grade. Thank you, Jesus. He is looking at us. Oh, my God, so short. But he's looking at us through the filter of his son. And, like, that's where we can. We can even make our Christian walk into works of the flesh where we're like, oh, I gotta pray this amount and I gotta read my.

Absolutely.

Yeah, I checked it off. God, aren't you happy with me? He's like, wait, where's your heart? Do you want me?

Yeah.

Or do you just want the grade? And to teach our children that it's so critical that we teach them what it means to walk in humility, what it means to seek the kingdom first, then had all the. All these things added to it. And I think it's really important that we show them our humanity as well, that we don't get everything right. And when we don't get everything right, say we didn't get it right. Yeah, we can't be perfect.

You know, I was reading. I was reading my Bible the other day, and as most people do at the beginning of the year. We're like, all right, new year, new me, new Bible reading plan. Like, I'm gonna get through it. And, like, all these things. And I was reading through, and I. I bought a book to go along with that that I've been reading and really enjoying. And one of the things she says in her book is. She says, like, as you read, I want you to ask this one question. Like, what was the character of God in what you read today? And I was like, all right, I'm gonna do that. And it's something I had never done. And I kind of just broached it, like, you're saying, like, checking the box, right? And I quickly found I. I was reading. And I mean, just even in the beginning, I said, okay, Sarah, we're gonna figure out, like, what character of God do we see in this. In this chapter? And so I'm reading, and as I'm reading, I'm starting to ask questions that I realized I've never asked before. And I'm starting to look at things that I've never asked. I mean, I'm. I'm 37. I just turned 37, so I had to think about that for a minute.

I think I totally forgot. So, okay.

And I'm looking at this, thinking, gosh, like, I'm at 37 even. How much have I missed along the way just by not asking certain questions? Just because I'm not willing. Because I'm just looking to say, okay, you know, chapter one, two, and three, done for the day. I'm all. I'm all good, right? And my kids saw that. That was good. And I can tell you I'm already, you know, eight days behind on my Bible reading plan. But good gracious, what am I? I am seen so much more than I've even seen. Like, darn it, Genesis 1 through 24. You had a lot more in there than I even gave you credit for when I was just reading over and over, time and time before. And so I'm okay not being, again, that box checker if I'm getting something out of it that I've never gotten before and God's doing something in me because of his character, simply because I'm asking a different question and I'm reading it with a different lens. And, you know, so at 37, how much more, you know, all these things.

We'Re viewing it, you know what, 20 years later, it still operates the same way. So I will tell you that I'll be above it. It's like 20 years ahead of you. And show you, like, what's happening here. But sometimes I'll be, you know, just spending time in my Bible in the morning, and the Holy Spirit just stops me and just says, just wait. One verse. One verse can, like, totally do a transformative work. And you see it a different way and you hear it a different way, and all of a sudden it's like, now my life has to change in accordance to that because, you know, the Bible talks about how the word of God is like a mirror, and if we just look into the mirror and walk away, we don't change. What effect does it have in our life? It's supposed to be an effective tool in our life. It's not supposed to be. Look, I'm. I'm religious, I'm holy, I'm doing the right thing. It's supposed. Supposed to be, no am I changed as a result. It'd be like me looking in a mirror and I have this, like, huge booger hanging on my nose. I just leave it there for the rest of the day because I don't care. Yeah, it has a purpose. It's like, look, your lipstick is on your teeth. You got a big booger in your nose. Yeah, like, you really need to fix your hair. And so when we look at the word of God, say, God, show me more about this. Where do, like, his goal is to bless you. And so what if we read his word through that lens of, like, show me your character. Show me where I could be off track. Show me how to transform my heart so I can be more of that. Chase after you and not after what you offer. You know, I'll just chase after you, that intimacy. And so I think it's so powerful to be humble enough to do that. And we have to understand as moms how critical it is that we do that. Yeah, I don't want to get off kilter. I don't want to get out of the plan when I know I'm taking, like, seven other kids with me, you know, Exactly.

Oh, what a heavy. Like, what a heavy. But, like, what a heavy gift. But I'm with you. I. And I love that you're ahead of me. And I think we need people, and I think people mistake that. Like, we. We do need people. We think we get to, like, age 37, seven kids. Like, almost, like, not I have arrived. But, like, I've got to know something. You know, I've got to be at this point. And, yeah, maybe I do have a trick or two up my sleeve and. And a testimony to go along with that. But, like, what a gift to have people like you ahead. And other moms that are walking that and can say, like, hey, I can tell you that, like, this is worthy work.

Yes, Worthy work.

And, like, this is what helped me. Maybe that'll help you. I don't know. But, like, keep going like a cheerleader. And try this. Keep going.

Yeah. I'll never get one time I was checking out the grocery store, and this. There's this older couple and the line, and they're just watching me, you know, I'm talking with the kids, I'm hanging out with them, and. And she comes over. She's like, just treasure every moment. And I remember looking at her and I said, I do. Yeah, I really do. Like, I remembered that moment, and I was told by someone I very much respect, you have got to. Now, I'm not judging. No judging whether you work. You know, we all are working moms, whether you work outside the home, inside home, whatever. We're all working moms. We all do what we have to do. And I remember he's like, you can't stay home with them. You cannot stop working. Like, there's no way you can pay the bills. And I'm thinking, okay, I'm going to have to figure this out. But then I just felt it. Me, personally, I felt the calling that I wanted to have that time at home. I didn't know how it was going to happen, honestly, back then. I mean, we couldn't. We were so broke, we couldn't, like, pay attention. We were. Well, I still can't, but pay attention, that is. But it was that moment that I was like, you know what? If I am going to regret something, I don't want it to be this short little chapter that I get to be with my kids. And I didn't know it was going to turn into homeschooling and I'll stay home. And I mean, I didn't know every year. We just took it that year. But I remember thinking, my husband and I are like, we're not willing to pay that price of regret.

Yeah.

And there were hard days. Like, hard days.

Tell me about them. I'm just kidding.

Literally, call my husband. Like, I am walking this kid to the bus stop right now. There goes. I don't know what they have to do. You might have to come home. And I get them registered for school. Come walking their butt to the school bus stop. Now, 20 minutes later. I'm good. I'm cool. Holy Spirit did a mighty transformative work. No one was damaged in the process, we're okay, but just like knowing that God will not forsake us. He's got our back. There's going to be hard times, but he will always give you that insight. To live a life where you don't have to look back and regret your decisions.

Yeah, I, you're, you're, you're telling me about my day two days ago.

See, that's before you had me on speed dial.

Yeah. Seriously, where, where is this been? And I, you know, well, I called the next best person on speed dial. I called Nana, my mom. That's always like my go to. And it was so funny. She actually, she FaceTimed me and she's actually really like cognizant. She always tells me like, I try to think of whatever point in your day that you might not be sitting and doing something. I just want to say hi and visit with you because I miss you because we don't live in the same town. And, and so she called and it was a normal time when I would have been, but you know, we were in the grind in school and having a day. So, so here we are at 3:30, still sitting in the schoolroom, trying to like work through a phonics test. And she called me and I clicked on the FaceTime and I said, she said, hi is a good time. I said, we're having a tough day. I'm trying to like speak kindly in front of my children, you know, not pin it on anyone. And I said, I said, so we're still working through some things. And then I started feeling like the tears, you know, coming down me. And she said, I'm gonna let you go. She said, but I'm gonna tell you this, she said, this one day does not define you. It is a, it is a tiny pin out of all the days you're doing, Sarah. And she said, okay, I love you, bye. And I was like, you know, got me like joking back. Te trying to hold it on, you know, But I mean, a million people could have said the same thing. I feel like we all actually know that encouragement. But just hearing it said to me again was like this one day and I started thinking about that. I thought, Sarah, you've been at school, you know, whatever, 100 days and you're, you're not going to let one.

Yeah.

Make your decisions for the rest of your life. Like, you're not going to let them define you as a mom, you as a teacher, you, you know, you as whoever. You're not like going to, you're not going to define your kids by that. You're not going to call them things out of one day. You know, when I want to say, why would you. You know, I can say, you are so smart. We need to find a way to help you understand this problem better. You know, gritting my teeth, saying that, knowing that these days. And then I walked away from that, and I was sharing this encouragement with people online, and I had a couple, like, well seasoned mothers like yourself who, like, had a lot more wisdom me. And they were like, sarah, this day, like, I've asked my kids before, like, what days do you remember? Do you remember that? You know, and they don't remember those. Those days. What they remember is like, I just remember on this really hard day, you took a break and sat with me. Or I remember on this really hard day, we stopped. We. We. We switched gears, you know, and I just remember that you cuddled up and read a book, and I was talking about the tears flowing again. I'm like, okay, like, you know, lord, help me in these days to know that the foundations are. Are being laid almost, like, even heavier than they are. The days that we just breeze through our schoolwork and get through another day.

Yeah. Because he's always molding our character.

Yeah.

Ways. And I just. I think moms need to remember that how we show up is a thousand times more important than what we get done, you know, because it's easy to check the boxes. Yeah.

Yeah.

And there are going to be those days when you're, like, hanging on by a thread and then the thread snaps. Okay, how am I going to show up right now when. When I literally want to, like, throw dishes and do some kind of dramatic scene from a movie, you know, And. And that's where, like, the grace of God, it's like, okay, all right, we got this. I'm going to take some deep breaths. The kids used to joke all the time, Actually, they still do. About my flight attendant voice. So when. When it would. When the poop would hit the fan and mom's gonna blow. Yeah, I remember, like, you know, harsh word. Like a software turns away wrath. Right. And I would go into this flight attendant mode, and I would say, you know what? I noticed that you didn't do the chores that were listed that you had to get done today. Why don't you think? And they're like, mom, just stop. Just stop, please. Oh, God, just don't use that voice with me. Oh, my God, please, Anything.

That is a riot.

I'm like, we were supposed to pick up 20 toys and I don't think Mom. Just don't.

I never knew I had a flight attendant voice until now. Now I can put a name to it.

See? See all of the gyms that I have to offer, like that flight attendant seriously strikes fear. They are now like, my oldest is in their 30s.

Fear with a smile.

It's like kind of the joker, you know, where you have that. Like, I'm. Mom's gonna blow in just a minute if you don't do that.

Okay.

Okay. Thank you.

Goodbye.

Goodbye. But is that. Is that voice? And it's funny because there's always. I tell moms, there's always another level. You can dig down deep. There's always another level. Because if greater is he that is in us and he that's in the world, then he's greater than whatever the turmoil is, whatever the crisis is, whatever the thing is that's going wrong. And we carry that spirit of God, so we can always reach down there. Maybe it sounds like a flight attendant voice. I don't. There's always some more grace that we can reach down and pull from. But I want you to share. I know time has been flying, but I just love hanging out with you. This is fun.

I know.

It's so much fun. So, okay, you just. You just have a book that came out, and I saw the title, and I was like, yes, ma'.

Am.

Let's go. So I want you to tell. Tell everyone about that.

Well, as all good stories stem from a moment of who you know, like, that's. Like, that's where the story began. You pre. Well, I don't pre. Kids. I get married and let's go back, and my husband's like, we're gonna move to my hometown. You know, I thought in my mind, like, this will just be temporary. Surely I'll move back to my family after all, you know, like all good wives think. Turns out that wasn't the case. But the problem with that was that the. The more I sat in my misery, the more I kept digging in it. And I decided that misery loves company. And if I'm going to be miserable, I'm gonna make it miserable for everyone because I don't have what I want. I don't even know that I know what I want. I mean, I know I have some, like, tangible things I want to live by my family. I don't want to leave what I know. I. Blah, blah, blah. But I. I wanted what I thought sounded good in a marriage or what I had created. And because I didn't have That I began to dig a pit. And that pit, for me started with words. And I began to just chip away at my husband. It'd be little things. I mean, like, Hannah, if you were my buddy back then, like, you wouldn't have even known, right? Like, I did it in such a way that I could just kind of chip away little by little. But what happens when you start chipping away is eventually those chips get a little bit bigger and they get a little bit heavier, and words get a little bit harsher. And I started saying things and doing things, even into, like, having one, two children that weren't one, honoring of the Lord at all, two weren't honoring of my spouse at all. And three really, I mean, just were trash coming out of my mouth. It was just word vomit, junk. And that put me in a pretty deep pit that I knew I was in. I knew I was there. I. I wanted to get out. There wasn't any way that I was like, I like who I am. I didn't like that. I just didn't see a different way because I didn't want to see a different way because I thought this way would work. And I thought keeping doing it will eventually get my way if I just keep hounding. And it got to a point where Tim and I's marriage, you know, I would never say, like, there were options, like, getting out, you know, that wasn't on the table.

Right.

But it wasn't in a good place, and it wasn't going to stay in a good place, and I needed to get out. And so there was this kind of culmination where one day we had a big blowout. And I talk about this in the book. And I talk about it pretty rawly in the book. Like, I think people, like, will read chapter one and be like, I do not like her. I like Tim. And like, you probably will. But just if you stick with me to chapter two, it gets a little bit better. And. And it got to this point where I called my parents, because that's apparently what I do when I. When I need help. And I really thought, they're going to back me up and their daughter, they're going to hear me. They're going to say, yeah, you go get him. And that's not what they did. Thank the Lord. Thank goodness for wise parents. Like, thank goodness that they had some wisdom and could see some perspective and say, you know what, Sarah, you're not in the right. And what you've been doing, like, we've seen some of it, and it's not okay. And you can stay there. Like, surely you can. It's not going to go well with you. Or you can find a way out. And my dad gave me a verse out of Jeremiah 29, and people always want to, you know, quote Jeremiah 29:11. For, like, I know the plans I have for you, said the Lord, and they're like, hallelujah. Like, Lord's got good plans for me. Like, even if I'm not serving him. No back up. And if you go earlier in that, the Lord's talking to them, and he's saying, like, I know I've exiled you to this place. And he says, but build homes, plant vineyards, multiply, make a family. Like, basically dig deep in the roots. And he says, because the wealth of that city determines your welfare. My dad says this to me, and he's like, you may not be in a city you want to be in, but the welfare of that city determines your welfare. So are you going to sit back and are you going to complain and be bitter? Are you going to say, I'm gonna pray? Not, like, for the city necessarily. Yes. Like, I've gotten to that point too. But I'm gonna pray for my husband because his welfare determines my welfare. And I'm gonna pray for our family, and I'm gonna pray for our situation, and I'm gonna pray for the different things that I am, because those will determine, like, I can determine my own atmosphere. Right? And so that was a slow process. I don't just say, like, it wasn't a one in Denver. That was a very slow process that pulled us out. And out of that really came this testimony that, like, oh, hey, I can choose what I say. Like, that's a choice in my day. And when I feel like being like you, like, I can. I can flip that. And I can say, okay, Sarah, you know, the result of that, like, you've seen it. And not that I want everyone to, like, see the result of their words, but I knew that. And so my question became, what's the alternative? Like, what? Like, if I don't want that, what do I want? And how can I use my words in an honoring way to get there? And so it just became kind of this life message. It built up very slowly. And like I mentioned to you, you know, we had a hard day the other day. It's not always perfect. It doesn't always come out joyfully and beautifully.

Right.

Beautiful thing is, going back to the beginning of what we were talking about. I'm no longer a box checker. I'M now thinking, like, how does that change my heart, Lord? How can you mold me? How can you make me teachable? To say the thing that's honoring to you, that's honoring to my husband, and that will create an atmosphere where my heart can be changed over and over and over again. And that's been really my testimony. It's been a really neat thing to see walk out. I would say I'm in a sweeter season than I was in in those early years of marriage, which is really fun. Doesn't mean I don't have bad days and hard days, but it means I can tell you I've seen the alternative. You don't want to go there. Don't do that. There is another way, and there's a.

Way out that is beautiful and absolutely, we're going to put links so people can find your book and know more about you. But you have just so blessed this show today. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for having me. You are an amazing, like, setting the stage, being a conversationalist. Thank you so much. It's been fun.

You're awesome, guys. Remember, your words matter. When you get control and make those choices, the right choices, you're going to be blessed like crazy.