387 | Real Talk Kim | Unstuck

All right, guys, if you have been with me for any amount of time, you know that I've got some friends in some high places that are rocking their life. And every now and then, I want to bring them on so they can pour their wisdom into you. And one of my total. I just love this woman. I love her. You can call it a girl crush if you want to, but I think this woman is phenomenal, and she's here to tell you how to. Are you ready for this? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Get unstuck. All right? So make sure you stop what you're doing. If you're driving down the road, don't stop. Just keep driving. But tune in and listen, because I got real talk. Kim, and she's going to be bringing the heat.

I am so excited to be here with you.

Oh, I love hanging out with you. It is like a shot of adrenaline and a shot of tequila all in one. So you guys hang out with him and not even have to go to the bar.

I am so, like, drawn to all that fun stuff behind you. Listen, your background's not good for people like me that are butterfly tasers. No, but crazy blessed. Is that not awesome?

Yes, we are. And you got this last night. I love it, y'. All. Before we even started. Started. We were talking before. Okay. And we were sharing. Kim said these beautiful words. I can't even believe I get to live this life. I. I don't care where you are right now. I do care, but I'll. But wherever you are right now, know that as bad as it is, it can get good. As good as it is, it can get better. Because we get to live this life in God's favor. So, Kim, you wrote a book called Unstuck, and I just. The title just, bam. Like, stop with the drama. It's time to get unstuck. Why did you. Why did you write this?

Because I was stuck. I'm going to tell you something, Hannah. We live in a world where culture, social media will have us literally believing that we are so behind, that we are failures. Religion will tell us we've been divorced. You can't never be used of God. You think you're not worthy of a good spouse. You think you're not worthy of good friends. You start questioning your identity. And I did all of that, and I literally found myself, girl, I'm preaching on platforms of thousands of people, and I'm going back to my hotel room and beating myself up because of.

This.

Thing in my head of comparison and where I should Be at my age, where I should, where I shouldn't be. People judging me. They. The enemy does. Cannot wear, cannot take you out. So he wears you out. And he does it through people. He does it through your own thoughts. He does it through word curses. And so I wrote this book because I got myself unstuck. I realized nobody was coming to get me. Like I don't your. It ain't your mama's job, it ain't your daddy's job, it ain't your ex's job. It ain't your spouse's job. It ain't your kid's job, it ain't your friend's job. You have to all day long, long in that 24 hour period, talk to yourself. Wow. You gotta be intentional. Hannah, what happens when you walk through? I mean, you talked about death and families the last time, how hard it is and how people will put this, this. You need to grieve and get over it. People will be feeling sorry for you. You lost your mama, you lost your daddy, you lost your spouse. They will, they will check on you. But buddy, in about two weeks, everybody done forgotten.

Yeah.

And so in those moments, you got to know how to realize that where you are is exactly where you're supposed to be or you wouldn't be there. And know that God has given you the grace to talk yourself out of the pit.

Yes.

Like, like Hannah. I think about Joseph all the time. And I think about David. I think about Rahab the harlot. I think about the woman with the issue of blood. I think about the woman at the well. I think about the woman caught in the act of adultery. Every. The man laying at the bull of Bethesda. 38 years. 38 years.

Do you want to get well? Right.

All of these people were in their circumstances because of people. They put them there, they told them, you can't do this. And that's how we roll in life. And so we have to be intentional to realize. When my dad died, I got his legacy to carry. When I walked through that divorce, it was free life, college. I don't have to sit and blame nobody else. I can look at myself and say, this is what we're going to do differently the next time. So I think I just have this innate healing part of me that God has done inside of me to help people get unstuck and realize they're not stuck because they're not a tree.

Oh, man, that is so good. And you're right as people, but our thoughts. So I know as a, as a You know, as a coach, I'm always working with my clients around their thoughts. And I was talking with my daughter this morning, she was feeling overwhelmed about the situation. And I said, girl, truth is you can choose to believe whatever you want. There's always going to be something that can make you scared and you can go down that route. And that is your brain saying, we're going to die if this doesn't work out. If this. I need this person, I need the situation, I need this, I need confirmation on this. I need evidence. But I said, that's why we are called to think on higher things. That's why we are called to take all of those thoughts into captivity and think higher. And we have to set our mind and we have to keep it set and go back and reset. And it's like in this moment, can I choose to believe, honestly, what it comes down to, the worst case scenario or the best case scenario, like what I want to put my energy toward?

And guess what? You're gonna make it.

You made it this far.

You're not gonna die there, right? I think of the children of Egypt whenever they had 11 day journey and it turned into 40 years. It was all their fault.

Yeah, they got him out of Egypt, but he couldn't get Egypt out of them because they were just thinking, oh, I just need to see some garlic and leeks. I just need to see some evidence. Say, no, no, God has to be your evidence. His word has to be your evidence, period.

When I wrote this book, Hannah Unstuck, I wrote it because I remembered when I felt like I was stuck. The last thing I wanted to do was read.

Oh, no, you don't want to. Do you want to just stay in that stuck feel? It's like getting lost in the cushions in the sofa, you know, in that dark place. And it's like tight in there and it's kind of warm and you can like sit yourself in there. It's like sometimes when you're stuck, it feels indulgent to. It's indulgent to stay there because you're like, I don't want to get out of this. I don't know what it's like out there. I could get hurt again. People could talk again. I could have grief again. I could have pain. I could have failure. Right here. It's dark, it's. It's. I've made it cozy. Even though I can't disappoint anybody else, disappoint anyone. I can hide here. And what happens, that pit we're in all of a sudden becomes a grave. And we just stay there.

And it sucks.

And it sucks. And we know it sucks. And we know it sucks. And we're like, but I just don't want to try. I just kind. I will stay in the suck instead of embracing the suck of getting out. We stay in the suck of being stuck. The suck of being stuck.

It is crazy, Hannah. And the more me and you're sitting here talking about, the more crazy it seems.

Yeah.

We literally will allow ourselves. It's like eating a piece of cheesecake. You love it, it tastes so good. But in five minutes, it's gone.

Yeah.

And you got £2 on you.

Yep.

And instead of just saying no, I'm not going to allow this thought to take. Take residency here. I'm going to tell that worrying stress committee to sit down and shut up. I'm going to. It's like every day you plan, but we don't plan. We get lost in the hustle and the bustle. We get lost in comparison. We get lost in strolling. We forget the promises of God over our life. We forget that God never leaves us or forsakes us. We forget that we were built to handle this. We are ninj in the Holy Ghost. And that's why I wrote this journal every y'. All. I put a day for three months because I believe in three months, you can break anything off.

You can.

And it's one day you read a page, and one day I help you revamp your thinking so that you become. Can become a winner out of your circumstances. How you can use that hell and make it a message. How you can turn those scars into stars. How you can be the first one in your family to break generational curses.

Wow.

I think sometimes that's why instead of looking at social media as bad, we need to look at it like, man, there are voices. Hannah. I get more people telling me, I found you from Hannah. I found you from Hannah's my coach. Hannah. There are people that finally said, I'm gonna stop just watching Hannah's podcast, and I'm gonna invest in one of her programs. I'm gonna go to one of her conferences. I'm gonna get into a room that makes me uncomfortable so that they can stretch me. That's what this season is for all of you. Watching that. Don't like your life. If you don't like your life, it's your fault. Yes, like, you can change it, but.

How hard is it to read one page a day? How hard is it? You know what? Some Sometimes I think when you're not ready to get up out of that place and shake it off, this may sound really hard, but you just haven't had enough pain yet. Do you want to really? I believe we do things for two reasons. We're inspiration or desperation. You haven't gotten desperate enough. Do you really want to get desperate enough or can you just, like, spend a minute every day? Can you just sit every day and be intentional? What am I going to feed my mind? What am I going to choose to believe? What am I going to feed my body? What am I going to choose to do with my life? Today.

I laid in my bed after my 18 year marriage ended. I laid in my bed for probably a good eight months. I would go to work, come home, get my bed. My room was gross. Clothes were all over the floor. I was so depressed because I could not see myself out of the pit. I couldn't see myself out of that hard, dark room, dirty, because I only could see. I've lost 18 years, and in my head, I wasted 18 years. And it was one day, Hannah. I'm laying in that bed and I said, God, take this pain away. Because we think God's a Jenny in a bottle. Like, we get mad at God because he don't do certain things in our lives, but it all. He's always. In Romans 8, 28, it says that God is working all things together for your good baby. If you're not walking in the overflow, it's because you're not moving. Because God don't lie. Finally, that moment was where, I promise you, it was like something knocked me over and it was like, I can't take the pain away. You gotta get up and walk away.

Yes.

I was like, what? Get up and walk away. This thing is staring at me. I'm walking through divorce. People are talking about me. I'm the only one in my family that can't keep a marriage. Get up and walk away. I got two little boys in their bedrooms downstairs dealing with anger issues because their mom and dad couldn't make it work. And I got to get up and walk away. I don't even know what that looks like.

Like.

But you know what it did? It made me realize I can stay in the season and let it define me, or I can get up kicking and screaming and let the devil know. You should have taken me out when you could have, because I'm about to get my bounce back. And this time I'm coming out with something to talk about healing. I'm gonna talk about recovery. I'm gonna talk about redemption. I'm going to talk about people that. That other people say ain't qualified, that you qualify them. I'm going to this curtain that I thought had closed in my life. I am going to think and realize that you had to close that curtain to set up for another scene. So it was a shift, just like you said. Desperation or inspiration.

Yeah.

So I turned a desperate situation into inspiration. And I've had to do it, Hannah. I've had to do it 100 more times since 2006.

Yeah. There is not a one and done. It is not a one.

And you're gonna have trials. It's. Life is gonna.

Like. I. I see so much. I don't know if it's like social media or what, but we. We put out this impression that it. It's like a one and done, quick fix. And then life's all good and rosy, and I think people need to see. No, everybody's got. Everyone in the house has an issue. Everybody's got something. Everyone wakes up to something. And so if you understand, like, no one's gonna save me. This is me. I'm not, like, a weird case.

I'm not victim.

Human experiences, and so I can choose. Jesus had to get to that point. If Jesus got to a point where he's like, please, if you can just take this cup from me. That's where we get. We're like, I don't want to do this. This is scary. I. I'm. I want to get nestled in this, Ruth. But he shifted. He said, but not my will. But then, like, if we can just. In that place of pain, fear, anguish, grief, whatever it is, we, like, take a breath and say, all right, I will get through this. First of all, how will I get through this? It's got to start here. It can't be what I want to do, period. Because our flesh just wants to be gratified, period. You got to think higher. We got to think with the mind of Christ and say what can. What is possible for me right now? What thought could I hold right now? And sometimes it's right now I am okay. I can move forward.

I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be. Right.

Right.

It's finding that place in the middle of that divorce where you realize, if this was for me, then they would have never left.

That's a hard place, Kim.

But if we can see ourselves in that place of God, I'm exactly where I'm Supposed to be. And you're going to bless my life. Then we open up a place of forgiveness inside of us that allows God to bless us.

Yeah.

This is not the way your story is going to end. Like God says in Ephesians 3:20, he's going to do exceedingly, abundantly, more than you could ever ask or think. He also says in Psalms 46 and 10, to be steel and know that I'm God.

Yeah. Yeah.

But it's hard to see that.

It is hard to see it. And sometimes we can't hustle our way out of it. We're always looking for, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? I remember one time I was on a walk and the Holy Spirit stopped me out of the blue and said, hannah, there is a demon in hell whose name is. Figure it out. I just stopped in my walk. I was like, whoa. That hit me. Because we always go to whenever we're feeling pain. Like, I gotta figure this out. A situation we don't know how to solve. I gotta figure this out. We go to Google before we go to God. And he said, there's a demon who's like, better figure it out. You better resort to your own flesh, your own power. You better do some more works of the flesh instead of the fruit of the spirit. But he says, if you just yield, God's got a hundred and one ways to solve this problem. Yield from the flesh, quiet the flesh. And just in that moment, we might not need to figure it out. We may just need to take a breath and walk forward in faith.

It's almost like ways we'll put in our phones. I put him. I put in ways to go to my church. I could go to my church from Buckhead back blind. But I always put in ways because ways will tell me when there's a wreck. Ways will tell me when there's a cop. Ways will tell me the back roads to get to the place quicker. We will trust Ways, but we won't trust God to do the same. And I think it's an app. I think it's because. I think, though. You think it's because he's an invisible God.

Oh, yeah.

And we're like.

It wouldn't be faith if we could see it and touch it and feel it and load it up on our phone. We just want to be gratified. I was thinking about this the other day. I was like, you know, we will freaking step on an elevator and go up to the 42nd floor before we'll operate in Obedience to God and trust that he's got something for us.

Listen, knowing that God's holding that elevator up, right?

Right. God was. God was there when it was built, baby. Like, do you really want to put your faith in this world? Because last time I looked, and that's can disappoint you big time, man, that's good. But, man, all things work together, and it may not the situation you may not be in. Sure, it's not ideal. We all go through a whole bunch of poop in our life, but, I mean, that's also fertilizer.

Come on, Hannah.

So, like, I remember the story in the Bible where it's like, hope, don't chop down the tree yet. Don't uproot the fig tree. Let's just put a bunch of manure around it and give it a year. What if this is the manure year? What if this is the poop moment, right? And God's trying to fertilize your growth and you're resisting. You're saying, no, I don't like this. No one likes poop.

Right?

But God is fertilized. He's like, girl, I got something for you. Yeah, it sucks, but I got something for you. I'm working on something here, and all of a sudden, it's like something's growing in my life.

Oh, my gosh. Like, I just look back, like a while ago, you were saying, are you living your best life? And I just was like, I just can't even believe that I get to live this life at 51.

Wow.

You know, and that's how it is. I look back, and it was those menorah years that made me get to the bottom of me so that I could get out of my own way. Lost everything at 36. Couldn't even buy cheese with my credit. And yet in 11 years, God could take this girl that still don't know where commas go in a sentence. And I could write six books that are changed, changing people's lives because I decided to get up out of the messy middle and move, not even knowing where I was going. I think you and I both could attest to this. Everything that we've ever done, every accomplishments that ever been made in our life, every book we've ever written, every conference we've ever done, is with our knees knocking.

Yeah.

We did not have a blueprint.

Totally with. With butterflies in our stomach, stress, white knuckle, not know what we're doing. And we just take a breath and move into it. And all of a sudden, guess What? God was there the whole time securing everything for us. He's working backstage. You think you're on the stage by yourself. You think it's a one woman show? God's been working in the props, he's been working in the script, he's been working in the production, he's been working bringing people in the theater. And you think that you did this? Trust him. He has got something so big for you. And I think about this, Kim. What if you hadn't?

What if I had?

Think about all the books you didn't write, the people's lives. You've changed. People even coming and saying yes to Jesus. Like salvations that have happened, transformation that has happened. What if you decided not to move out of that? And I think about people who are listening or watching right now. More is at stake than you. What if you have a mandate to fulfill and that's why you're breathing, that's why blood is coursing through your body.

And you think it you do have a mandate. Not what if you do.

Oh, that's true. That's true. And what if it's to change the world? What if someone's life depends upon you getting up out of this world?

It does. It's not. What if it does? Like God would never let you be where you are today. Even if you caused that divorce, even if you had infidelity and you caused that divorce, even if you were an addict and lost your whole family. God knew that before you were ever even a thought in your mother's womb. He knew that you were going to feel like a failure. He knew that you were going to feel like you got. I spent 38 years with this person only for them to trade me in for the babysitter. He knew all of this and he said if you could only see what's going to be on the other side of your brokenness. It's like a disco ball. You are a disco ball. You can put you. Once you have healed and forgiven and gotten up and allowed God to bring joy back into your circumstance, bring peace back into your circumstance when you stop saying I would die for my kids and start living for your kids. Every single time you get dropped, another piece is formed in your. In your disco ball. And when God presents you in this place called the world, you can be in this world and shine your little disco ball and prisms of sunshine masterpiece reflections shine off of you because of that pain you're in.

It's for a purpose. Yes.

And it ain't. I know you. I Know, you think that you're so big and bad that you can change God's promise for your life, but you can't. God is still so proud of you. God is more proud of you today than he was before that. That incident, before that addiction or that failure. He's so proud of you that you got up again, that you pulled your leg and you didn't know where you were going. And you were like, God, you're a lamp into my feet, a line into my path. I hate where I'm at right now. I hate this food stamp season. I hate having more degrees than a thermometer, and I can't even get a job in my field. I. All the things you hate. He keeps saying but, but. God puts a but there.

Yeah.

He says, I'm working it out and I'm gonna use you. What you're going through ain't even for you.

Not even.

It's for somebody else.

Yes.

Your story is gonna help somebody else.

Yes.

Bypass what you went through or get up after going through what you went through. So that's why you got to do it. I mean, baby, you ain't that good that you can root so good. The plans of God for your life.

Literally read it this morning in my devotion. That's why I. I smiled so big when you said that. Because literally, I was camping out in Romans and I read that this morning. That there's nothing that will change God's plans for you.

They.

Are you ready for this? They are irrevocable.

Come on.

His plans for your ear. You think he's going to pass you over just because you had a hard day? Sometimes we hold so much fear that. That we're messing up things and that. That God's going to leave us. And we're disappointed. You can't do enough to disappoint God. His grace, his favor. Nothing can put that in the shelf. He's got it for you. And so if we know. All right, I. I can't screw this up. The only way I can screw it up is to stay stuck and be scared to move forward.

And the devil laughs his butt off. He's like, yes, God knows. I told my church yesterday. I said, I hear this all the time. Well, I didn't feel like I was fought until I got saved. Once I accepted Jesus into my heart, now I feel like I just got all hell coming at me. And I said, yeah.

Yeah, you do.

Because when you didn't have Jesus, you were your own worst enemy. You. You. You were crushed.

You were. You were killing your own self.

But now that you've got Jesus, it says, once you come to know me, all old things are passed away, and I've made things new. And then he says, the same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives on the inside of us.

Come on.

And so he says. He says, I got the enemy knows that you got that power to talk to that dead situation and live. You got a Lazarus in your life. You can tell to live. And he don't want you to do it. So he fights you tooth and nail so that you get caught up and go back to where God saved you from. You got the same power.

Yeah, yeah.

You who's watching right now, You've got the same power.

Yeah, Same power.

Find your Lazarus and raise it from the dead.

Yes, you got the same power. But you don't have enough power to get up off that sofa and stop eating the cheesecake. Come on. Come on. Give it a minute. Like, come on. You are stronger than you think you are. I hear so many people. This woman came up to me at the gym, and she's like, han, I know you're a prayer warrior, and I just want you to. If you would pray over me right now. And I'm like, well, what are we going to pray about? What do we believe in? Like, I don't. I'm not gonna. We gotta focus to say, what do we pray? She said, just pray that I can have more strength. I said, I'm not praying for you to have more strength.

You have the Earl Menu.

You have the indwelling of God Almighty in you. We gotta pray for just alike.

I'm not wasting my prayer.

I'm not praying more straight. I said, what if we pray for a revelation of how strong you actually are? And she said, I didn't know I was getting all that just by asking her. I said, come on. You have got God Almighty dwelling in you. You don't need strength. You need to know who you are, sister.

Period. We dropped some gems on this one. If y' all ain't free after watching this, you want to stay stuck.

You want to stay stuck.

I think sometimes we like the attention broken gets us so.

We do. We do.

But not none of y'. All. No Bible says that once you get wisdom, you're. You're held accountable.

You are. Now you know.

Now you know.

Guess what you said, Kim, you know too much now.

Pretty behind up. Fix your hair. Take your yoga pants off. Get yourself out there and get your life back.

Yes, ma'. Am. I. Where can they go to get unstuck.

You go to Real Talk, kim.com. real Talk kim.com. or it's anywhere books are sold.

That's true. That's true. You are just hitting this world in a big way. I love you so much. Thank you.

Thank you for letting me come. And I love your hair like that.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you. I appreciate. I love your hair like that, too. You look so. Living your best life. All right, so, guys, it is time to get unstuck. Like Kim said, if you are choosing to stay stuck, that's just what you want to do. Get unstuck. You're going to be blessed like crazy.

And we believe in you.