Did I Marry The Wrong Person?

Okay, I'm just gonna say the tough question here. Have you ever thought, did I marry the wrong person? Well, I'm gonna show you how to turn that question around and make your marriage that much better in today's episode. Here's the big question. How are these average, everyday moms getting radical results in their lives? How are they able to transform their health, money, family, families, homes, and have fun doing it? The trick. Check this out. We're not average. I'm Hannah Keeley, and I'm going to spill our secrets and answer your questions right now in that mom show. Okay? So I'm hiding here in the guest bedroom recording this podcast episode for you without Blair. Oh, my gosh. It's marriage Monday without Blair. My marital partner without Blair. Here's the reason, because usually we record these on Sunday, and Sunday was Father's Day, So I was like, babe, you don't have to record anything with me. Although he would have done it instead. It's me flying solo. But that's a good thing. Okay, why is that a good thing? Because we need to talk deep here. We need to get real. We need to go one on one. Okay? And this may be a better episode that I do by myself. I don't know. My dog is scratching out the door now. Come on in. They're both at the door. Oh, my goodness. And now they're both coming into the bedroom. Okay. All right. Thanks, guys, for joining me. Okay, so here's. Here's the thing. Have you ever thought I married the wrong person? Now, imagine if I was doing this with Blair. He'd be like, oh, my gosh. Have you ever thought that, Hannah? Oh, no. But, no, you're not going to start barking. But it's a tough question because I know we've had those thoughts before. And you think, oh, my gosh, did I? Like, should I have held out? Should I have married a different person? Y', all, this is my life. You hear the dogs in the background, right? You. This is my life. And you know what? I'm not going to record it over, because, you know, this is my life. You wouldn't be listening to this if you weren't a mom. So you know that crazy things happen and you have to hide in a guest bedroom, and even then, you don't get any peace and quiet. Have you ever, like, tried to hide from your kids in the bathroom? Yeah, that works. That works really well. Okay, so I'm not going to record this over. We're doing it for real. We're laying it down. Right now. So this is a tough question. You think, did I marry the wrong person? And then what happens is you harbor discontent and bitterness. You just do. It happens because you're thinking. Now, I'm not going to say whether I've thought that before. This is not like a self incriminating thing. But I know a lot of moms have come to me for coaching and they're like, you know, we just don't get along. Um, he's so opposite from me, or she's so opposite from me. And I've tried everything. Hannah, I just married the wrong person. So that, that's what I want to tackle, this idea that I married the wrong person. Because what it implies is that there is a perfect person out there for you. And here's what I want to say right now. And we're going to turn this whole question, did I marry the wrong person? We're going to turn it around and you're going to get some answers to that. Because my belief is you don't marry the wrong person. You are the wrong person. So a better question would be, how am I behaving like the wrong person? That would be a better question. It's a more powerful question. And here's why. It puts 100% of the power back in your hands. See, when you say, did I marry the wrong person? That's saying that basically you have no power. That you are who you are, that you cannot change, you cannot evolve. And that somewhere out there in the stratosphere, is that a thing like the stratosphere, okay, in the world? Because I don't know, stratosphere might be like a layer above the surface level of the earth. And then that would make no sense at all because then it would imply that your spouse were a flying creature. And that's just really weird. This is how my mind goes. Okay? So somewhere out there in the world that there is a perfect person for you. And we all know there are no perfect people. Like, there was one perfect person. He died on the cross for you. Okay? We are not perfect. We are imperfect. But if we can dig into God's word and be transformed, he can go about perfecting us. See, it's not that there's an end result of being perfect. It's a process of being perfected. And that's what God is doing in your heart, in your soul, in your mind. When you dig into his word and when you are willing to change by saying, did I marry the wrong person? That's also saying that I'm unwilling to Change. It says you have no power, you have no responsibility, and you're unwilling to change. And I don't know about you, but that is not a position I ever want to be in. Because that's not powerful at all. Like, that strips me of all my power and makes me just like, okay, whatever, whatever. There's some perfect path, I hope I stumble upon it. I don't want to be that person. I want to be the kind of person who is proactive, who is evolving, and who is always attaining a new level in life. And I think you wouldn't be listening to this podcast if you weren't the same way. So let's turn that question around and say, how can I become? Well, the question was, did I marry the wrong person? So the question you may want to say is, how am I behaving like the wrong person? How am I acting like the wrong person? How am I being the wrong person? And it gives you back 100% of the responsibility. I want you to be in a position where you take 100% of the responsibility of the results of your life. Absolutely. It's in no one else's hands. It's in your hands. No one cares about your dreams as much as you do. No one cares about your life as much as you do. No one cares about your goals, your vision, your future as much as you do. And by relinquishing that care to somebody else, you are not in a position to do anything about it. So if you want to improve your marriage, start thinking, how am I being the wrong person right now? So instead of he won't act like this or she won't be like this, or he's not loving or she's not compassionate or he's rude or she's lazy, whatever. Let's turn it back and say, how am I behaving the wrong way? Hey, mama. We'll get right back to the podcast, but did you know there is an entire online university just for moms? If you're ready to get radical results in your life, just go to mommastery.com to that's M O M M A S T E R-Y dot com. Make sure you check it out and take your free quiz again. That's mommastery.com M O M M A S T E R-Y.com now back to the podcast. Maybe I could be more compassionate. Maybe I could be kinder. Maybe I'm in the wrong here. Maybe I could evolve. Maybe I could change. And here's what it brings up here's. The box that this whole question opens. Because if you're saying that the person is not in the wrong. Now, I'm not saying they're not in the wrong. Someone can be in the wrong. They can be acting like a total jerk. They can be lazy, they can be disrespectful, they can be. They cannot have. Be compassionate, whatever. I'm not saying that they're right. They can very much be in the wrong. But I want you to be the kind of person who takes 100% of the responsibility and says, what am I doing here? How can I change? How can I evolve? Can I still be kind even if my partner is not? Can I still be hardworking if my partner is not? Can I still chase my dreams and build my future even though my partner is not? The answer is yes, yes, and yes, you can. You can actively build a greater life for yourself whether or not your partner's on board. It would be nice if he or she were, but maybe they're not. It doesn't make them right or wrong. It just makes them who they are. So if you relinquish that responsibility, you'll never change. But if you take back that responsibility and say, you know what? No one has to be a certain way in order for me to be my best. No one has to be supportive and no one has to believe in me. And no one has to be kind or helpful or hardworking in order for me to be the best version of me. I can take 100% of that responsibility. Now, the box that this opens, the big issue that comes up is saying, well, Hannah, if I didn't marry the wrong person and this person is abusive to me and it's not my fault. I'm not in the wrong here. So he was the wrong person because. Or she was the wrong person because of this physical or verbal abuse. But again, let's go back to the other question that we made up. How am I being the wrong person here? Even in a situation of abuse, whether verbal or physical or. Or damaging circumstances like if you're in that kind of relationship, you are still being the wrong person if you tolerate it. So you can still turn this question around and say, how am I being the wrong person in this relationship? Well, evidently I don't have the confidence or self esteem or love for myself to remove myself out of the situation. So you are still taking 100% of the responsibility of your own life. Your partner is not the make it or break it. Your partner is not the one variable that's Standing between you and success. That's not. And it's not your partner's job to make sure you are successful. It's not your partner's job to make sure that he or she supports you. That's not their job. Their job is to be there for you to love. That's it. Their job is to be there for you to love. And if you're in a hard relationship, if you're in an abusive relationship, if you're in a relationship that tears you down, then you have to think, you know what? I am being the wrong person here because I don't respect myself enough to do anything about it. I can remove myself from this. I can have a very hard conversation. I can dive into a deep topic that I've been trying to avoid, but I can't. Either way, I want you to take a hundred percent of that responsibility. See, this is a hard podcast episode. And that's why I'm doing this by myself, because I feel like with just me and you, that is kind of like we're sitting here in my guest bedroom by the window, just talking, and we're having a hard talk. You know, like, you came over to my house, we grabbed a cup of coffee. We're just having a really hard talk here. I don't think this is something that three people need to be in. I think this is just me and you. And so the pipe, the timing is perfect. And for some people, this is going to be very liberating. And for some people, this is going to be very, very hard because you are 100% responsible for the outcome of your life. It's no one's job to financially support your dream emotionally, support your dream physically, support your dream physically to back you up. It would be nice. Yes. But it's not their job. It's your job to take action. So instead of thinking, did I marry the wrong person? Because I just don't believe that. I don't believe that. I think there is so much power in God's word to transform us into being the right people, no matter who we are. You know, so if you. I just say that God wants success for you, whether or not you married this person or this person or whatever that God is, his desire to bring you to a life of fulfillment and joy and abundance, and he can do that any which way he wants. He's not relegated to, oh, my gosh, you have to marry this person. He's not relegated to that. So you can even, what if. What if you do believe this? What if you do believe it's a wrong decision, which I don't. But what if you do believe this is the wrong decision? Can God still redeem? Can God still create your vision? Can God still work with you to bring that dream you have to life? Yes, of course, he's not limited. You only limit yourself by relinquishing the responsibility of your life. You have to take 100% responsibility and say, how am I being the wrong person here? Could I be more compassionate? Could I be more caring? Can I be more supportive? Or am I still waiting on my partner to step into that role that I've imagined for him or her to be supportive and to be like arm in arm with me as we tackle these dreams? Maybe that'll happen, maybe not. But your dreams can still happen when you take responsibility and you ask that tough question. How am I being the wrong person here? How am I being the wrong person here? Am I expecting too much? Do I have unrealistic ideals? Am I putting too much pressure on? Or am I not respecting myself enough to do something about it? Tough questions today. This is a tough podcast episode. But remember, it's just me and you. It's just me and you hanging out right here with a cup of coffee, just talking about some heart issues. Your marriage can be amazing. Your marriage can be everything you hoped and dreamed it would be. But guess what? Your life, your life, girl, can be everything you hoped and dreamed it could be. God's not limited. And therefore, since you have the power of God in you, neither are you. Ask the tough questions and take 100% of the responsibility and see how your marriage and your life can turn around. I love you and I got your back. We'll talk later. Are you ready to get radical results in your life? I can give you the jump start you need for massive success as a mom. In fact, I've got that mom show starter kit right here with your name on it, girl, and I want to give it to you absolutely free. Just go to thatmomshow.com or text the word kit k I t to 345. 345. That's the word kit. To 345. 345. That mom show Starter kit comes with my best selling time management program for moms. Squeeze the day. My guided faith based master mom meditation and a printable copy of the Master Mom Manifesto. Print that baby out. Say it every day. Just watch what happens. That mom show starter kit is valued at over $300, but I want you to have it for free. Just go to thatmomshow.com or text the word kit. That's K I t to 345345. Again, text kit to 345345. I'll talk with you later.