How To Have A Happy Heart In A Hurried World

Okay. So sometimes we're going along in life, things happen and we forget that maybe our heart just doesn't feel happy anymore. I don't know. Something about life just can wear us down, you know? And before you realize it, you've forgotten that maybe you don't have the joy, maybe you don't have the happiness. What do you do about your heart when it just doesn't feel happy? That's what we're going to talk about today with Tricia Goyer, who wrote Heart Happy, super excited about her being on today's episode of Crazy Blessed. Tricia, thank you so much for hanging out with us today.

I am so happy to be here. This is super fun. I have kids running around in the other room like always, so they're not going to interrupt us.

Well, I think most of our listeners and our viewers are totally cool with that if they do. Because. Because if you're going to live a crazy, blessed life, it's going to be interrupted. It's going to be crazy. It's going to be fun. It's going to be all that kind of stuff. And most importantly, Tricia, it's going to be happy. And I want to talk about this because why did you write this book? First of all, why did you write Heart Happy? You know, so entered in God's love through chaotic circumstances. Come on, Trisha. We know there's nothing in life that's chaotic.

Come on. I think the chaotic circumstances basically answers the reason why I wrote this book. I was actually going to write another book on hospitality, on an opening your home, connecting with neighbors. And then we had a pandemic. And I'm like, okay, that definitely is not going to work. We're not writing that book. But as I'm searching, like, what have I been going through, what I've been struggling with? It was a lot of unhappiness, being unsettled, because my husband and I, we have three biological kids, and then we adopted seven, which they are all blessings. We are so thankful for them. But it brought a lot of chaos into our lives. And I'm like the oldest kid, oldest grandkid, type A. Everything needs to be a certain way. And suddenly we have all this chaos. And I'm feeling like I can't keep up. I can't keep going. Then there's a pandemic and we can't go anywhere. And we have a house full of kids from past trauma and just that unsettled feeling. And I realized, like, my circumstances aren't going to make me happy. So where am I going to find my happiness? And it came from God. And namely, there's this quote by George Mueller that he talks about. And he cared for George Mueller in his lifetime. He lived about 150 years ago. He cared for children, tens of thousands of orphans during his lifetime. He opened all these orphanages in Bristol, England. And he said, before I get busy with my day, I get my heart happy in the Lord. And I started researching that. Like, what does it mean to get our hearts happy in the Lord? Because if they're not happy and settled in the Lord, there's not the stuff around us that's going to make us happy. Because so many of us live in these chaotic circumstances.

Yeah, that is so true. And we also are trying to find contentment in the circumstances. And this is what happens a lot of times. And this is what I love helping people with, because I think this is great that we are talking about this today, is if we are trying to change our circumstances, very rarely can we successfully accomplish that. However, we can always change what we believe about our circumstances. And here is the crazy thing. When you change what you believe about your circumstances, you actually do change your circumstances.

I love that. I love that.

It is so powerful. And we are waiting on our circumstances to line up to be happy. Like, you know the drill. You know the way people think. Well, as soon as the kid's not being potty trained anymore, I will be happy. As soon as they're back in school, I'll be happy. As soon as summer comes, I'll be happy as soon as my husband starts to help me around the house, I'm going to be happy. As soon as I start making more money, I will be happy. And we put all of these qualifications on our happiness. Instead of choosing, wait, can I just, like you said at the beginning of each day, choose happiness now? Is that possible?

Yeah. And that is what I really had to dig in. And first of all, you know, I have learned that morning routine is more than just like reading devotion and listening to a worship song and going on with my day. It's really how to spend time with God and build that relationship with God. And really, the more I built a relationship with him, he started, like, pointing out things in my heart that brought that unhappiness, the feelings of from being a child, feeling abandoned, feeling like he didn't really love me, like I had to please him, that I had to earn his love, that I had to do all these things right. Because when you add that many children into a household, I can't keep up with the laundry. I missed a book deadline. Like, all these, like, my performance that I thought I had to perform to make God happy, to make people happy. I just went out the roof because I couldn't do that. And so then it's like, what does it mean to have that relationship with God? And he reminded me of an event with our son when we adopted him when he was 2. We went to counseling, and I'm like, this child, he is disobedient. There is no bonding. He will walk off with any stranger at the park. Like, I need this kid to listen to me and to obey me. And I thought the therapist was going to say something like, I want you to, like, give him timeouts. Or, like, get all these discipline things to get him to listen and obey. And she's like, this is what I want you to do. You're going to spend five minutes a day, and you're going to go into a room, just you and him, with a special box of toys, only for this time. And as you play together, you're going to say what he's doing, you're going to repeat what he says, and you're going to praise him. And I'm like, this is the craziest thing. And we even practice it in the office. Like, she's behind the glass, and I'm in there playing toys, and I have a monitor. She's like, okay, repeat what he. And I'm like, blue car. Like, it's just. He's two. He's, like, barely saying anything. But we would practice and practice, and pretty soon I'm like, you're lining up the cars. You have a blue car. And he'd say, red car. And I'd say, red car. And I'm like, great job. You know your colors or whatever. And then he would say, mommy, you're such a kind boy for sharing with Mommy. It was just repeated every day, five minutes a day. And pretty soon, because my voice came with acknowledging him, praising him, repeating him. During the day when I would say something, he paused and listened because before there was no connection. And it just refers to God's Word. When we're in the morning, when we're reading the Bible, when we're repeating what God is saying, when we're stating when he was doing and we're praising him, we are building that relationship. And so when we are listening to God's word and we're repeating it and we're praising him during the day, when we feel those little nudges or we see Something we're going to be reminded of his voice and have that connection. So really that morning time, you know, getting our hearts happy in the Lord in the morning, comes through that connection where we do have that relationship with God and then that carries through the rest of our day.

That is so powerful. Because I was going to ask you, I think some people may feel like their morning routine is kind of not working for them, you know, or if they have a morning routine. Like, I know my morning routine is so important to me. And for the longest time I was like, it needed to be perfect and I had to read this much of the Bible and I had to have a devotion book and I had a church. And then it became almost legalistic, you know what I'm talking about? And there was no happiness there.

Right.

And I stopped all that and I got my Bible in a notebook and just allowed myself to just sit and hang out with God. And I think some people are like, well, I don't know what that looks like. I don't know what that feels like. If we could just go into our day and be open and know that we are loved. Because I think that is where my heart finds its biggest happiness, is knowing that I am loved. He has got me. And starting that day with him. Yeah, it is kind of like almost like taking your. Taking a supplement, you know, so you can stay healthy all day long.

Yeah. And it really can come. I love how you brought this up. It can come in different ways. Like this morning I was able to get up early because I went to bed early enough where I had time to do my Bible study that I'm doing at church. And I read through that and I read through the scripture. I really sat and prayed and thought about the Scriptures. A couple days ago, I did not have that time. So after I dropped my son off from therapy, I was driving home, I put on First Peter on the audio Bible and listened to my car, like, and I was thinking about that during the day that would come to mind. And so I think so many times we think, if it's not, I'm going to read this book or read this book of the Bible or read this many scriptures or write in my prayer journal, because I would feel that too. Like, if I can't do everything, I'm not going to do anything, anything. And that doesn't work. It's like, how am I going to connect with God? And just listening. It was like 15 minutes for me to get from the therapy place back home. I was able to go through the Whole book of First Peter. And, like, two times during that day, I was able to talk to someone. Like, as I was reading First Peter. This is verse perfect for this. And it was just that time. Just listen to the audiobook. We could do it. And we're putting our makeup on. Or afterwards, get out of the shower. Like, anything. It's just figuring out how to listen and really be open to what God has for us in His Word. And then we can see the world as God is with me. We are walking in this together. I'm not alone. He loves me. He has good plans for me. Instead of being completely overwhelmed with the day. And then this kid does this and this happens and this. The car gets a flat tire or whatever unexpected things happen. We know that we have that relationship with God that we can look to and that he's going to be there with us no matter what is happening in our day.

That is so good. We have to start the right way. But I can hear what people are saying right now in their heads. Like, tricia, that works for you. I got it. But my life is way too chaotic. There are people right now waiting for their lives to calm down a bit. I mean, with everything going on in the media and the cultural things, the political stuff, and like, oh, my goodness, it's just coming at us from all sides. And sometimes I know the viewers here and listeners here feel like their lives are just lost in the chaos. Like, I can't even get my footing. So what would you tell that person? Like, they're not finding that place, not finding that space in their life to even, like, take a moment and breathe. What would you say to that person?

Yeah, I think so many times we have to look at what we're listening to and what we're paying attention to. Like, is all the social media, and I don't even turn on the news. Like, if something big is happening, my husband or one of my adult kids will call and tell me about it, and then I'll go look. But so many times I just have to turn off because there's so many.

Negative things that go, are the news. Is the news still a thing? Like, I don't even. Like, I don't even. I'm not kidding with you, Tricia. I do not know how to turn on my television.

Yeah.

And I am perfectly fine with that.

Yeah. I don't either. My kids, I'm like, how do I watch? If I want to watch something, I have to have one of the kids come and bring me the thing. And they're like, you know, you're doing it wrong. And I'm like, I don't even know. Like, I don't even know.

At least your, your kids will help you. Mine are like, okay, mom, hold the remote in your hand, push the button. I'm like, just do it for me. No, because you didn't let us do that. So we're going to teach you.

Like, they will, they know they will do it for me.

But yeah, I mean, oh, your kids are loving.

Yeah. If we're just listening to that all day long, of course we're going to think like, this is the end of the world. And some things I tell the kids, like, there's so much out there. But 100 years ago you might be able to get a newspaper and read like three bad things, like in a week, you know, and now we just like, this has happened in this country and this has happened in this country and this and this. It's just too much, I think, for us to take in. You know, 300 years ago, you heard what was happening two houses down. Like, there is not all this stuff. And I think, I don't think we're made to get that much input going in our minds. And of course we're not going to be happy, we're not going to be content. So first of all, we could turn off part of the chaos. Like there's natural chaos that's going to come in our homes with our families or our immediate circumstances, but we don't have to join in all of that. And I think another thing is really focusing on what our priorities. So for us, one of our priorities is dinner as a family. And so we only do one activity per year per kid for them to do. Because if we do too many things, we're not going to have dinner as a family. And so right now, my 12 year old is in flag football. That is the only thing going on besides church and youth group. Like there's no other activities. So yeah, every night we are sitting there and we're having dinners with family and when we stop adding all these things that we think are necessary, often they aren't necessary and they aren't even beneficial. And we have. And if you have a child that, like, if sports is their thing, you know, for sure, like they're the best in the league and you want to pour into that child, then do that. But for most of our kids, like it's just a thing filling up the space and that knowing I have adult kids, that we never did all the things with them and they're fine. Productive. They love God. You know, they're good lives. And so really, I think a lot of it, we could turn off the chaos, and we could cut out the chaos in our lives, and then we need to feed our souls. So Bible reading is one of them also, like, for me, I just took up watercolor painting during the pandemic because I needed something to feed my soul. I grew up loving to draw, and I'm like, I need to do something for me in my time that can give me some space and peace. And the. In fact, when we were doing the.

Okay, do you have a picture close.

By the COVID of the book?

Wait, you did the COVID Yes. That is beautiful. Trisha, you are so ridiculously talented that.

I didn't even know until I actually took the time to order watercolors. And so when we were talking about this, and one of the things I talk about is, like, feeding our souls. And I discovered, like, if I just need to clear my space and think about God and get some me time, I'll just pull out watercolors and my marketing directors, like, we need the COVID to have your watercolor. I'm like, what? Started doing this? And so, because I posted on Facebook or whatever. And so that was something that I didn't even. I didn't take time for until I was so desperate to have something feed my soul that I actually took the time to do it. But before that, it was like, oh, yeah, when the kids are grown, whatever. I'll take time to watercolor because it just. I'm fascinated by it. And once I needed that. So again, turn off the chaos, Cut down on the chaos, and then find something that feeds your soul. Some friends of mine go on nature walks. Some friend of mine play music, love listening to music. It's like, whatever we have that can really help us so it will settle us instead of our souls and our minds and everything just being this tornado going around us.

Okay, I've got to see your dog.

I know. Is he whining too bad?

No, it's just so cute. We can edit this out, but I've got to see your dog.

Well, he's a big old. I don't know if I gave him a lift. He's a big old corgi on the floor. I'm like, stop whining. Stop whining.

Fine. He's totally fine. Totally fine. Dogs are always welcome on the Crazy Blood show. Yeah, but that's one thing. So I can hear people thinking that, oh, that sounds so great. Like, Turn off the noise. Yes, I can do that. Like, everyone who is watching and listening, think about one thing that you could turn off in your life. Maybe like, set a time limit on social media, turn off the news. Like, turn something off in your life and open up space to turn something on, something you've always wanted to do.

Yeah, absolutely. And, sorry, when we do that, it just changes everything. It changes our outlook. We have more peace, we have more joy because we are nurturing that part of us that God put in us. Like, as a little kid, no one told me to sit there and draw all day or to read books all day. Like, God put that in us. When we look back to those things that we did when we were little, that brought us joy, that brought us happiness, then it just changed everything.

That is so beautiful. So you are watching, you are listening. I want you to think of one thing that you would love to add to your life. Maybe going on more nature walks, maybe watercolor painting. Maybe you want to learn how to roller skate. Maybe there's something out there that you're like, oh, I've been putting that off, or, that's not necessary. God never told us to live a life that was necessary. He told us to enjoy our life. We are supposed to have an abundant life, and I think that is how we have that happy heart. We are allowing it to celebrate everything that life has to offer for us.

Yeah. And I think sometimes people think, like, I shouldn't be happy, like I should be joyful. But happiness is like the new car, the cruise, like we should have pursue those things. But if you look in the Bible, the word blessed is also can be translated as happy. So some of the very same verses and some versions will say, happy is the man. Other ones will say, blessed is the man who walks in the ways of the Lord. It's the same word. So it's not like a bad thing to try to be happy. Let's just put that out there too. Because I think so many times people say, oh, you know, we shouldn't pursue happiness. Or happiness isn't something for Christians or whatever. We just need to find joy in the Lord. Well, the Lord tells us that we will be happy or blessed when we are walking in his way, when we are enjoying the gifts that he has given us, when we are enjoying the family he has given us, when we are walking in peace, those things make us happy and blessed. So I give everyone permission out there to do it, to put those things that you haven't taken time for and just even 10 minutes a day will make a big difference in our souls.

Yeah, like, someone wants to do more gourmet cooking right now. They're like, oh, that's not something I need to do.

Do it.

That's exactly what you need to do. And I don't know about you, Tricia, but going through life with this idea that we have to suffer and we shouldn't be too happy and we need to be content with things. There's. That's not contentment. Like, we think, like, denying yourself is not proving contentment. Okay, you can have.

Yeah. Jesus told he would. He was drinking and partying with all his disciples. Like, I know to be in a glutton. Like, he was enjoying life. He was spending time with people. He was having meals with them. He was not walking around like, the horrible world.

So hard. This is so hard. And I don't know about you, but I've never seen a person who's suffering and having a hard time. And I'm like, I want that kind of life. Like, if we want to bring people into the kingdom of God, we need to represent the kingdom of God with happiness, with blessing, with joy. And I know that life gets chaotic sometimes, but we can add to the chaos or we can take away from it by being intentional with pursuing joy. And, yes, that means happiness, too.

Yeah. I love that so much. I'm gonna wish I would have quoted you for the book. You're just throwing out such good things out there. I need to rewrite this book because there's some quotes I need to put in here.

Yes, let's rewrite that new cover, too, because I have some embellishments I want to put on my work.

There we go.

Well, that is. Is so exciting. So what would you tell someone now if they're like, okay, I do want to pursue happiness. I want to make time for that, but I'm worried that I'll just be disappointed. What would you tell them?

Yeah, that's so good. So I think anytime we're pursuing God and we're pursuing the things that God has given us and put in our hearts that will feed our soul, I don't think there will be disappointment, like, if we spend time just loving God. And it's not like I started watercolor painting because I'm like, a year from now, I want to have my watercolor on the COVID of a book. Like, that did not even cross my mind. It wasn't even there. I enjoyed watercolor for the fact I was being creative, and I threw away more pictures than I Kept like by far, especially at the beginning, it was just a mess, but look at it, it's not. So. If we're just looking at for something that feeds our soul just for joy, just for that connection with God, then we won't be disappointed because God is always there. I've never had a time when I've sat down and prayed and it was like I got up feeling worse afterwards. So many times I lift and give my burdens to him, ask him for peace. And when we're connected with him, he will always be there. He is faithful to be there for us.

Oh, that's so good. He is. He is so faithful. He is so good. So I want to encourage everyone today, like, Tricia, I love that you just said an example. Because if you can raise this many kids and have this much going on and you write a book called Heart Happy, I know there's a way for all of us to achieve that. But I think the strategy is exactly what you said, staying centered in God's love through chaotic circumstances. And that's what I want to encourage everyone who's listening, watching right now. When you're centered in God's love, like for you, what does that mean for you? Staying centered in God's love?

Yeah, it is. And I love how you brought this up because it is good trying to get some type of morning time where I am focusing on him, but also during the day, during this chaotic moments, going back to that place, like remembering that God is there. God is even here in this moment when my child just broke his toe. Or God is here, like he could be here in the moment, whatever chaotic thing is going on in our circumstances, just saying a quick prayer, turning our attention to Him. And so centering is like our minds start looking at this and looking on that and looking every which way besides towards God. It is actually pausing and turning our focus back on God during those times, during those moments in our day and just setting up those quick prayers. There are times even during my day, I'm like, mama needs five minutes with Jesus. And I will come in my room and I will lay down on my bed sometimes, pull the comforter over my head and just let my heart and mind settle like God is in control. I don't have to be overwhelmed right now. He will give me the strength I need. If he called me to be a mom to all these kids, he will equip me for it and take some deep breaths. And that gets me centered again. And it's okay. And they're like, okay, don't knock on the door. Mom is in there right now and trying to. Trying to get the center again. So it really is taking our focus off all the things around us and putting our focus back on God.

Is that so good? It's okay to step out of the ring every once in a while. It is. And just say, I need to take a breath. There's nothing wrong with that. There's no shame in that. Allow yourself to get fueled up, because that's, that's how we can love the people that God gave us the best when we are fully fueled up with God. And so, guys, not only did you get to hang out with Trisha, find out how to get your heart happy, but you also just heard the cool, coolest slogan to put on a T shirt ever. Mama needs five minutes with Jesus. Someone needs to make that T shirt.

That is a good idea.

Send it to the crazy blessed studio. Mama needs five minutes with Jesus. Tricia, thank you so much for hanging out with us.

Thank you so much for letting me be here.

What a blessing. All right. Hearing from Tricia here, from Trisha's dog, and getting all the cool information about how your heart can be happy. Because when your heart is happy, guess what? Your life is going to be blessed like crazy.