I Bet You Think This Book Is About You with special guest Chad Veach

All right, guys, I don't know if you have noticed, but we live in a world where we're pretty much the center of our universe, you know, and. And the more we see culture, the more we see what's trending, the more we see a focus on ourselves, which isn't always healthy, you know, especially as you're growing. The kingdom of God, it operates outside of you. So I've got a guest on today that you are going to absolutely go ape crazy for, and he has a new book out called I bet you think this book is about you. And I can't. And it's hard to even say that title without singing that title. But I've got Chad beach on, so he's going to talk about this cultural trend and also the power and beauty of operating in humility. So stick around, Chad. Thank you so much. I can't. I can't even tell you. Every time I open your book, I look at your book, I have to sing. I bet. Think this book is about you. You're so vain.

You. Oh, you got it going. I like that. Yours? I. I like to scoop into it. You're so vain.

So vain. I'll do the backgrounds for you.

I bet you think this book is about. You don't.

You don't. But it's true. That's. We live in such a myopic culture. And is what spurred you to write this book? Like, why now? Why this?

Well, I think I'm always just trying to write out of what I'm learning about, you know, kind of what God's dealing with me about. So I've written on hope and faith and people and prayer, all in seasons of my life where I needed those things. And right now, I clearly am trying to recover from and deal with my own ego, my own motives, the own intentions of my heart. So I just felt like I was really having to address this in my life. So I figured if I'm going to learn about it, y' all are going to learn about it.

There you go. Take everyone along for the ride.

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But how did this. Okay, so this seems so counterintuitive, honestly, because the last thing someone who is, you know, driven by ego or, you know, you talked about narcissistic, the last thing they're going to want to even move to is let me work on myself. Like, let, like, how do you even get to that revelation where maybe I'm operating in pride, Maybe I'm up, maybe my ego has, you know, hijacked this bus.

Well, I, I like to look at it this way. You know, pride, there's no workshop or message or book or seminar you can go to and get over it. It is not even a day to day battle or an hour to hour battle. It is a minute by minute battle because really it comes down to a sinful nature, flesh verse, spirit. So I think just putting a flashlight on this thing of going like, okay, what are you really about? Are you trying to build your kingdom or God's kingdom? Are you about his name or your name and being honest? I think that we struggle with being honest with others because most of us are so afraid to be honest with ourselves. And that gets us down a bad trail, a bad road. So I think I'm just trying my best to really, in this, you know, I, I turned 45 today. I'm halfway to 90 today. And after 45 years, you start to look back on your 30s or even 20s and go, hey, some of that was really for you. And you got to learn from those mistakes. And your ego cost you there, and your pride cost you there. And now as you get older, are you going to learn from that? Because when pride comes, we have to just get ready for what's on the backside of it. And that is destruction always. And so I, I've faced enough destruction in my old age now to go, let's really be honest about what drives you, what motivates you, what are you trying to go for? And really trying to rest those things in my life.

All right, well, first of all, you're not allowed to refer to 45 is old age, especially to a 56 year old woman, like not allowed to do that. But I want to touch on this because we know pride goes before destruction, the haughty spirit goes before a great fall. But the realization that oh, I could be operating in pride is so hard to come by. Because if you are someone who's operating in pride, that's the last thing you're going to see. So, um, would this be something like if, if someone could be like needing to address their ego or needing to address pride, what would they be looking for? Would they be looking for, wow, I'm hearing this from my friends or I'm hearing this from my family, or this is costing me something. Like, you don't want them to get 20 years down the road and realize, oh man, I have, I have ruined so many things and just because I was so self centered. How do you know this now? Like what? Like if someone's listening to this, are watching this, and God is speaking to them about their ego, how do they know?

Well, I think the first way that you know you're dealing with pride is when you don't think that you have that much pride, when you can kind of gloss over it, skimp over it and go, well, I'm fine. Well that's probably a sign that you're not fine. Because humble people admit, they repent, they confess. Pride will convince you to not say you're sorry, to not say I love you, to not admit that you need others. So you just watch the characteristics of humility. It's so dependent on God and others. It's so remorseful about actions and the desire to change. And so I would say to anybody that's struggling with pride, if you see some of those key red flags, let's do our best to put a flashlight on it. And like me, I went through a process of just trying to like arrest this and be honest and catch it. And I think Acts 2:42 to me has so much of the ingredients that we need for humility. What was it? What were they doing in Acts 2:42? They were in house to house breaking bread. That sounds awesome, but that means they were in community. And you can't be narcissistic and prideful in community because People will call you out and they get exhausted of you. Yeah, okay, so you. So you watch. Prideful people are always isolated because they only seek their own desire. When I'm in community, I care about and I'm concerned about the welfare of others. So I got to get in community prayer. Prayer is basically going, your name is the big name, and your kingdom come and your will be. I gotta pray. Bible reading. The Bible's so good. The Bible will cut you up.

It sure will bone from marrow.

I'm just telling you. There you go. Hebrews 4:12. But one of my favorite ones is 2nd Timothy 3:16. All scriptures, God breathed. And it's useful for what? Training, rebuking, correcting, training in righteousness. So the man of God may be fully equipped to do every work. So what is it saying? God's word will tell you what to do. It would tell you what not to do. And it will tell you what to do when you haven't been doing what you're supposed to be doing.

Oh, it's so good calling you out.

It'll call you out. You think you're studying it. It's studying you. It's your true mirror. So I just think we got to get back to some of the fundamentals that put a flashlight on our pride and get us into the things that's going to be a cocktail of health and growth and momentum.

Yeah. So powerful because we're here to expand the kingdom of God. And just like you said, you can be concerned about your kingdom or God's kingdom. And I remember this one very good friend of mine. And you know, you have good friends when they call you out on your junk, like, when they'll just, like, say it. And I remember one time, I'm like, I'm trying to do this and this in my ministry and my ministry, and. And she's just said, hannah, you get busy building God's kingdom, and he'll build yours and that. Like, thank you. Thank you. Like, I want those. Those wounds from a friend are blessings. Right? When. When. And that's so true about a prideful person. Always seeks isolation because they don't have to answer to anyone.

That's exactly right. And I don't want to answer anybody. I'm building my own kingdom. I'm not concerned about you. I'm only concerned about me. And I think we got to be careful because, you know, in a narcissistic society, narcissism wins. So if in the kingdom of this world, whoever flaunts the most, whoever promotes themselves, the Best, wears the nicest stuff, drives the nicest car. That's who wins. But in the kingdom of God, we live counterculture, or I like to call it. If everybody's going downstream, I'm trying to live upstream. So what does Jesus said? He goes, the greatest of them all is the servant of them all. There you go, my kingdom. I flip it on its head. The first are going to be in the last, cowboy fans, and the last are going to be first. So what's the problem today is that we see a lot of the kingdom of this world creep in to some of the Kingdom of God people, and we don't know what's what. We got to get back to what Jesus said is what he values.

And, you know, he was always so transparent. He wasn't glorifying himself. He said, the Father's glorified through me, right? And so it was always about. He didn't even really, if you think about it, tried to build his kingdom. He was just doing what the Father was doing and. And saying what the Father was saying. And in that, he was operating in that power of God. Like, he even told his disciples, look, if this is too big for you, just go. Like, he wasn't so concerned about, I got to please everyone. I got to make them happy. He was just merely, like, going about doing his work, which the Father's given him. But so I love this revelation of, you know, I need to. I need to check my ego. I think we always need to have an ego check. But the idea of humility, I want to talk a little bit about that because I think some people have the idea of humility kind of twisted, and it's almost like a false humility. Like, oh, I'm nothing. Like, let me lower myself. And that's not what humility really is.

Not at all. No humility. One of my favorite parts of the book is just we talk about it so much throughout this, you know, every. Every chapter, almost. Humility is having a accurate view of self. So it's not thinking less of myself. It's thinking less about myself. So humility has the ability to go, I can see I'm talented, and I'm really graced at this, and I'm favored, and I'm blessed, I'm strong, I'm resourced, I'm loved. And out of strength it serves. Remember, pride walks in the door and goes, here I am. Humility walks in the door and goes, there you are. So it has the ability as the strength to give, bless, encourage, love, help, aid. Where pride is just a vampire. Pride just takes. I need it for my ego. I need it for my. I need attention. I need validation. It's all about me. But humility, the most humble person ever walked the face of the earth is Jesus. And he didn't ever lessen. I'm. I think I'm the lion of the tribe of Judah. Maybe I'm the alpha, omega. I don't know what he. He. He was like, you know, I could call down angels right now, right? He. He looks upon his pilot and he goes, yeah, I am the son of God. Like, there. There's moxie, there's backbone, there's. Yeah, confidence. So humility is not. It's, it's. It's being confident and strong in who I am so that I could live as a servant and as a helper.

When you know that, you know that you know who you are. Like, that does come through as confidence. Like God, confidence changes the atmosphere in a room. When you walk into, oh, my gosh, it is so powerful. And when you say, like, pride is a vacuum, one thing that I think about, Chad, is a vacuum is never full. Like, it's never filled. It's always got that pressure, pull in, pull in, pull in. And when you think about pride does cause us to always be seeking more and more and more. Nothing's ever enough. But when you're operating in humility, it's almost like we're operating in the abundance, in the overflow, in the more than enough. Which I think, and I will. I'm just going to go out on a limb and say this, that one solution to the stress level that most people are feeling today is to put their ego in check and operate in humility. Like, think about it. You're not so. You're not so caught up in your.

Own story, but I think because most people are dealing with so much brokenness and so much pain, you know, all of us have been raised by trauma drama, Daddy and mama, and because of those issues, we didn't even realize we're walking in so much pain.

Wow.

That's where pride manifests. If I get God's healing in my life, then I. How could I not walk in humility? I'm in relationship with God. I've already got everything I need. So that's where, you know, freely you have received freely you should give. The. The work of a believer is receiving. So if I receive his joy today, I could give joy. If I receive his peace today, well, I can give somebody peace if I receive comfort of the Holy Spirit. I could be a comfort to somebody, but how could I give away what I don't have? So I think the requirement for us is to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God so that I get something. And then he will, he, he will.

He always will. He's faithful.

Yeah. So everybody goes, hey, just a heads up, if you exalt yourself, I don't. I love you so much. I will not allow you to do it. I will humble you.

Right.

Because then once you get humble, I will. And what I'm just telling you, when God exalts you, no man can stop that. No get in the way of what God signed off on. And so I'd rather go low and be a servant than try and promote myself and get somewhere.

That is so true. And in that passage, in due time, like there is a due time, right? God's timing. And so even when you're trying to rush it, God's like, you still don't get it, man. Like, come on, we're doing a work here. And he is patient enough with, with us to help us move out of that because he knows that pride is going to stop us from achieving what he's designed us to do. So there's a due time. And we got to go through that period of being humbled and understand. And the thing is, it's so beautiful and joyful as a result. We missed out on so much by operating in pride.

Yeah. You know, it's so funny. When I was in college, I went to Bible college here in LA and I had a friend that was about 45 minutes away at Biola University. And so I went my freshman year. There's only 300 kids in my college, so I wanted to go to another college where there was other humans, wanted to go visit my friend. And when I walked into his quad, I saw this huge poster, like humongous. But it only has two words on it. And it said pride sucks. And when I saw that, I thought, man doesn't sucks the life out of relationships. It sucks the romance out of marriage. It's, it sucks the, the, the reputation that you've built and established. Now it's, now it's in the drain. It just sucks everything. And I just think, why would we walk? Pride promises to deliver everything that only humility can. Pride promises you notoriety. Only humility can build your name. Pride promises you success only. Only humility could bring success. Pride promises you great wealth. Only humility could bring riches and honor from the Lord. So everything we want is in humility. But the world Is pulling us saying, be prideful. We will celebrate it, we will honor it, we will go nuts for it. We will call you the best. And all the time God's going. Do you realize that I give grace to the humble and I am opposition. I am opposed to the proud.

So good, so good. That is so powerful. God's grace like that, power to do what we cannot do on our own. And we will try and try and try and keep bumping our head up against the wall until we get a hold of this book and we understand. All right, I gotta, I gotta check this out. My ego, I gotta put this in check. I want to ask you one question. And I know that a lot of my listener, a lot of people who watch this, they've, they've asked about this because a lot of them are moms and they deal with people in their lives, sometimes their husbands who are very much pride motivated or, you know, narcissistic, if you want to use that. And you've even considered yourself like, I'm a recovered narcissist. What is something that people, moms, especially women who are listening to this or watching this right now? What is something other than like getting the book and underlying things and putting those little post it notes on it and putting it on their pillow? What is something that they could do or say now to help their husbands?

Well, I think never shy away from, you know, confronting reality. Never shy away from speaking the truth. One of my favorite scriptures that says God's word will not return void, but it will always accomplish the task it was sent out to accomplish. So I would just encourage anybody, listen, keep speaking the truth. Now, Jesus came full of grace and truth. So he had grace, but he had truth. And so I don't think you need one or the other. I need to be gracious, but I need to be truthful. Well, if Jesus had both, I think you could have both. So I've got to be gracious, which is loving to me, accepting there for somebody truthful, which is honesty. And you already said it. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Well, let's talk about a marriage. Nobody can cut me up and call me out like my wife. So how did I learn I was egotistic and prideful? Well, my wife was a real help. You know how the Holy Spirit sounds in my life. It sounds like my wife going, and it's so funny now because now we'll get into a, an argument. She'll go in that interesting. The guy that wrote a book on pride is being prideful. I mean, you would not understand what I'm under here.

Dude, you should have known that was coming.

Yeah, she's like, you wrote a whole book on this and you're walking. That's what I'm saying is like, thank God she calls me out. So I think that we need to continue to be honest with each other. We need to be transparent. Ruth Graham, you know, the. The wife of the famous evangelist Billy Graham, she has a great line. She said, a great marriage is made up of two great givers and forgivers. You think about that. Great marriage is made up of two, not one, two great givers and forgivers. And I think, you know, how can a nar. How can we be ego centered and be generous? How can we do really well being filled with pride and forgiving at the same time? Those two words don't go together. Pride and forgiveness. So I've got to. I've got to massage into. I've got to bake into my marriage humility because we don't have a shot unless we are generous givers and good at forgiving quickly.

I love it. I love it. Chad, thank you so, so much for this time and just for sharing so much of. I mean, your story. Just being vulnerable and transparent has blessed so many people. So thank you so much for this. And pick up the book anywhere, right? Amazon, anywhere, anywhere.

It's that I like to say it's at Target, it's at Barnes and Nobles, at Amazon, it's at all the places.

All the places. All the places. Thank you so much, Chad. I really appreciate your time. And I know this, this episode, this book is going to bless people like crazy.