Making The Cut: Part 2

All right, welcome to part two of this amazing decluttering series. If I must say so myself. You're gonna really love this because, yeah, we did the head. Now it's time to move to the heart. Welcome to Mom Mastery University. The education every mom should have had but didn't. I'm Hannah Keeley, America's number one mom coach, and class is now in se. Welcome back to Making the Cut. We're here for part two and I'm your coach, Hannah Keeley, and I'll be your coach throughout this entire coaching series. And today in this part, we're talking about making the cut in your heart. Now part one, we talked about making the cut in your head. How you think about clutter. We talked about time, space and matter. Basically, it's like the Newtonian physics of clutter. So that's what we talked about in part. But now this is part two and we're going to go into the heart, the feeling part, and we're going to talk about those heart issues around clutter. So basically we're going from Newtonian physics to quantum physics, all right? From the head to the heart. We want those joined together so that when you get those lined up, you can actually get some massive results in your life. That's what we do here inside Mom Master University. We get radical results in record time because we do the real work. And I'm talking about the inside out work. So that's why so many moms get such, you know, they're in for a couple of months, all of a sudden their life looks totally different. Because we work the way God works. He works from the heart out. And that's how we do it inside too. So I want to encourage you, if you are not already inside Mom Master University, maybe you're watching this on YouTube or podcast, make sure you get inside because this is just a fraction what you're watching here, what you're listening to, this is just a fraction of what's available to you. Because what we do inside Mommass University is we do the extended work. This is just the information. When you get inside, you really get down and dirty and get the results. Because you're taking action, you're doing the work. I promise you, you're going to get some amazing results when you step inside and really get the work done. The Bible tells us that faith without works is dead, right? So you can watch this, you can listen to this, but sometimes it just doesn't take root. That's because it's not accompanied by the action. So it's one thing to do something, it's another to take what you know, that knowledge and put it to work in your life. That's what we do Inside Mom Master University So if you're not inside, get inside. Okay. All right, so let's dive into this because we're talking about making the cut in, in your heart. Now this is important because the heart, like the head, is a logical side and we talked about that in part one. But the heart is the emotional side. And as moms, as women, we're often led more by emotion than we are logic, not across the board, but predominantly we are very emotional people because it helps us connect with our children more as moms. So emotion is very strong for us. It's not there to dictate what we do. It's there to offer feedback and data so, so that we can make better decisions. So that's why we're going to climb into this, this heart issue. And I want to share with you something I read that's pretty fascinating. It's actually about the heart. And the heart is considered the second brain. So it's, you know, research shows we have three brains, okay. We have our head brain, which is our brain. We have our heart brain, and then we have our gut brain, which all three of those areas, when they're working in alignment, that's when you feel like you're really in the zone, like you're in the flow, you're getting things done. So we want to all this in alignment, but I want to encourage you about working with that emotional side. You know, as our second brain, the heart actually has this surprised me, over 40,000 neurons in it. Now, neurons, we call, we call them brain cells, right, because they're there to provide information. So your heart actually has 40,000 neurons. Why is this important? Because it's actually thinking for you. Isn't that amazing? It's doing some that emotional, that feeling thought. That's why I'm sure you've hear like, you know, follow your heart or listen to your heart. Now as believers, as Bible believers, we understand that that's not always good advice because the heart is deceitfully wicked if it's not lined up with the will of God and with, you know, what, what he shares with us in his word. So we never want to just follow the feeling. What we want to look at the feeling, analyze the feeling, get curious about that feeling, because it will lead us to make better choices. So we're going to dive into that second brain, which is your heart, and we're going to talk about your core needs. Now, if you've gone through Covenant Coach Academy, you know these core needs like the back of your hand, like they're, they just roll off your tongue. We, we practice these, we work on these, we become experts in understanding and reading core needs. But I want to share with you because that feeling that you often feel, feel around situations and people and, and even the feelings you have around clutter, it's not just revealing something about what you think. It's revealing something about a deep felt core need. Now here's the thing about core needs. We all have them, okay? And I'm going to talk about what those are. But we all have these core needs. It's not wrong. It's just how we're wired. We all have these needs and we can meet these needs and very productive ways. So for example, I have a need for connection, right? Just like you have a need for a connection. So I love to seek out time with my husband and connect with Blair. I love that. And that's a healthy way to meet that need. Now, an unhealthy way to meet that need of connection would be for me to like, reach out to people to need them or manipulate them. Like, that's not a good use. I mean, that's not a good way to meet that need. So I'm sharing this with you because we all have the core needs. And how we meet those needs can either enrich our lives or it can make our lives more problematic. Now what we're after, you know it inside Mom Master University, is to create an abundant life. God wants you to live a life that's characterized by these three things, by joy, freedom and abundance. That's another thing that we practice inside Covenant Coach Academy, helping our clients live with joy, freedom and abundance. So I believe that is your birthright as a child of God. That is your birthright to have a life characterized by joy, freedom and abundance. Now where does clutter fit into that? I can't see it fitting in at all. Right, so what we're going to do now, diving into the hard issues around clutter, we're going to look at each one of those core needs and how clutter is used to fill that core need. This is going to be fascinating. I'm so excited about this. So these core needs are basically based on neuro linguistic programming psychology, because this is a great way to understand human behavior. We're all after meeting the core needs and if we can understand the core need, maybe we can meet that more effectively. So needs can help us lead to decisions to meet those needs. They can be good decisions or bad decisions. So let's talk about those core needs. The first one is certainty. Now, certainty, that core need of certainty comes from the need to feel safe. So think about this as a mom. What do you do in your life to feel safe? Maybe you're making sure, okay, we have enough money in the account, right? I know we have enough groceries. Like, we'll have dinner tonight. A lot of things we do come from that need of certainty to feel safe. I know I'm okay like that. That's that driving force. I'm going to be okay. The kids are okay. We're all okay. That's the need for certainty. Now think about this in terms of clutter. Does clutter make you feel safe? Well, I want you to think about it because your first instinct might be like, no, it doesn't. But wait a minute. Do you keep clutter to make you feel safe so you'll have something just in case? Like, why do you have so many coats or so many jackets? Is it because you're not really sure if one's going to be enough? You might need two. One rain jacket might not be enough. I might get a tear. I might need two. Why do we have five hammers? Are we afraid that we're not going to be able to locate one, so we need to keep another one just in case. Now, when you have this core need for certainty, how it shows up in clutter is we keep a lot of things, a lot of stuff, quote, just in case, unquote. So why do we. You know what? I'm keeping all of my son's things in his closet just in case he needs them later on. It's funny because I have so many kids who have gone on, gone to college, gone and started their own families, gone and started their own homes. I get rid of that stuff. It's like, if you didn't take it with you, you don't need it. I'm not going to keep it. Sometimes I even take it as my own. I was wearing a sweatshirt the other day, and my son came home for college. He's like, mom, that's my sweatshirt. I'm like, son, it's my sweatshirt. You left it here. So sorry. Sorry. It's not clutter. I'm taking it. I like it. I'm taking it. So I want to share with you some strategies around this, because if you think you're feeling filling that core need of certainty by holding on to clutter, then there's some strategies because this usually comes from a, from a sense of a fear of scarcity. We're afraid we're not going to have enough. Right. And some of us, you know, I've heard from a lot of moms and sometimes that scarcity, I call it scare city. Like when you're living in scarcity, it feels bad. It just never feels good. You always feel like there's never enough. And that can cause you to hold on to a lot of stuff and which becomes clutter, which fills up your home, which depletes your energy. Right? So how can this need serve us around clutter? So let's remember, if we can take this need, we can serve it in a negative way and it can distract from our life. We can serve it, we can fill this need in a positive way and it can enrich our lives. So think about how we can leverage this need for certainty to enrich our lives. Well, what if that certainty. Okay, ready for this? What if that feeling of certainty can come from the idea that there's a place for everything and everything is in its place? Doesn't that feel good? Instead of thinking, I need to keep a lot of stuff just in case. Now I know there's a place for everything. Everything's in its place. I know where the first aid kit is. I know where the, the tax file files are. I know where the sweaters are located. I know where all the shoes are stored. I know where the, the power tools are. Like, think about it, that if you have that need for certainty, if it is a strong need in your life, you can fill it through decluttering to give yourself that sense of certainty that everything in my home has a place. There's a place for everything. Everything's in its place. Doesn't it just feel safe? Doesn't it feel certain? So why don't you channel that need for certainty into decluttering to give you that feeling that everything has a place. It just feels good. So take that. Instead of I need a lot of stuff, I'm going to give everything a place. So simple. So let's go to a thought that you can think around, like a heart thought, a deeper thought. You can think around certainty. So I want to give you this thought that you can hold on to. God is my source. And if I don't have it, it's on its way. How does that serve you? Like, I want to go deeper into the heart thoughts because those become more beliefs that help you navigate decluttering. So if God is your source and if you don't have it. It's on its way. Won't that enable you to now let go of things, Give more stuff away, throw away the things that you don't need, and now you can empty out space. And there's a place for everything. And everything has a place. And if I don't have it, it's on its way. Why? Because God is my source. I don't have to be my source. God is my source. What feels safer than knowing God has your back? Now let's move on to the second core need, and that is variety. That is the need to feel excited. Yes. That is a real need. Right? The need for, like, a lot of people just get bored with monotony. Same old, same old. Sometimes people like, I like the same things all the time, no matter what. They tend to be more on the certainty side. But there's some people who have a strong need for variety. I get bored easily. Got to mix things up, right? So that is a core need. Now, how does clutter fill that core need? Well, think about it. Clutter. It gives you stuff to do, right? Clutter actually, like, makes your life a little more variety, a little more exciting, because you never know where something's going to be. You never know what the day is going to hold. You might be running late because you can't find something. Now, a mom will easily say, but, Hannah, I don't like that. That doesn't matter. Your brain needs variety. So it will create variety by creating disruptions in your day around clutter. Really, it's. It's something you do even if it hurts us, even if it's dragging us down. Right? Even if it's detrimental. It's a need that we have, and it will surface in clutter. Clutter keeps us on our toes. It keeps us looking for stuff. It keeps us running late and operating with urgency. We never know, like, what are we going to wear today, because we haven't laid it out and I don't know what's clean. And now I got to go through the laundry and smell it and see if I can wear it again. Right? And also, we just have no idea what the day is going to look like because we might get distracted by trying to find something. And. And that's going to lead to more disruptions in our day. Even though you don't like it, your brain is doing that to fill the need for variety. Now, this distorted filling of the need for variety comes usually from a fear of stillness. Think about it. There's a lot of people who we. You know, you just have a fear of stillness, of things being still, because what will you discover in the stillness? You know, God says, be still and know that I am God. But sometimes that stillness for a lot of people is a bit uncomfortable, or maybe a lot uncomfortable. It's disconcerting. You're kind of left with yourself, and you have to do some work around that. And you can only hear your own thoughts. And some people don't like that. So I would encourage you, if you avoid stillness, if you have a fear of stillness and need to always have variety, always something going on, there may be something in that stillness that would bless you if you stayed there long enough to discover it, right? Like if you can sit still, quiet, abide with God. He may want to reveal something to you that you've been praying for, for a long time. He may want to give you wisdom that, that you haven't received yet because you haven't been in a place where you can be open and still to receive it. So sometimes that, that need for variety comes out of the fear of stillness. So I want to encourage you if that's you, face the stillness just for a moment. But how do you do that in a house full of clutter? It's very hard to have the still, sweet moments when you're surrounded by clutter. So how can this need for variety serve us around clutter? Well, think about this. What if decluttering became an adventure in organizing? Could be fun. What if it could be. What if decluttering. I'm gonna say it again. What if decluttering could be an adventure? And what if organizing could be fun? Like, why do they have entire warehouse stores just centered around organizing, like the Container Store? Why do you have an entire container Store? Because the truth of it is, organizing can be fun. So what if instead, like, if you have this need for variety, channel it into decluttering and make it like, face it like, this is an adventure. This is going to be fun. I'm going to get this. First, I'm going to start with this junk drawer. Then I'm going to move to a shelf. Then I'm going to move to a closet. Who knows? By the, by the end of this season, Inside Mom, Master University, even by the end of this coaching series, you could be having. Having entire rooms you decluttered and organized. If you face it in the right way, it becomes a variety, it becomes fun, it becomes spontaneous, because it's an adventure. So I want to give you a thought around this, a heart thought that you can hold close to you that will encourage you. If you're one of those people who are led by a need for variety, and it's this. A life led by God is the greatest adventure, and I can't be held back by cluttering. How does that sit? How does that sit inside your heart? A life led by God is the greatest adventure, and I can't be held back by clutter. I think this is going to open up a lot of adventure in your life, a lot of fun and a lot of variety, too. So let's move on to that third core need. And that third core need is significance. And this comes from a need to feel noticed. So often we keep clutter around. Are you ready for this? Because it makes us feel more important. More stuff equals more significance. And it doesn't even matter if you use the stuff, if you need the stuff, if you wear the stuff, it doesn't matter. More stuff often in your brain equals more significance. So if you have this need, sometimes this distorted feeling of the need comes out of a need, comes out of a fear of rejection or abandonment. If you have felt. Now, if you have ever felt that rejection and abandonment, I want you to go back and look up seven Princess Wounds. Go through that series because we talk a lot about rejection, abandonment, as well as other of those core subconscious wounds that you could have. So if you know that that's present in your life, definitely go and do the work around it. Remember, all your resources are right here inside Mom Master University. But make sure you go do that. But understand it could come out of a fear of rejection or abandonment. So no judgment, no condemnation. Just understand. Maybe, maybe there's too much stuff. Maybe I have felt such a need for significance or to be noticed, to be important. Maybe I felt shut down. Maybe I have felt unimportant. Maybe I have felt, not seen or heard or noticed. And so I keep a lot of stuff and it gives me that feeling. Remember, your brain just does what it does, right? And we're talking about these heart issues that come from your core needs. So let's turn this around, okay, if you have this need for significance, we're going to turn it around and we're going to leverage it in a positive way around clutter instead of a negative way. So instead of keeping more stuff to make us feel more important and more significant, what about this? I'm more selective with what I have because clutter, clutter just makes me look like someone that I'm not. So think about this. This need for significance to Be noticed, to be seen. What if you want to be seen in the highest light? Right. If you want to be noticed in the highest way. What if clutter is actually making you show up as someone you're really not? You're better than that. You operate at a higher level than that. So I am more selective with what I have because I like to feel significant. And living with nice things. Not a lot of things, but nice things, makes me feel more significant. Clutter, it just makes me look like someone I'm not. Now, that may sound a little bit, I don't know, shallow, but remember, these are thoughts we can hold on to, work around our basic core needs, okay? It's not about being altruistic and, and. And. And super noble. It's about how to work with my mom brain to help me create the life I want. So if I have this need for significance, I'm just going to face it. Yes, I do have this need. And it's okay. There's no judgment there. I'm only going to keep the things that make me look significant. I don't need a lot, but I'm going to have the right things, the nice things and clutter. I'm not like that. I'm just not that kind of person. So a thought you can hold around this is, God has made me royalty, and I only keep what is fit for a palace. Oh, doesn't it feel good? God has made me royalty, and I only keep what is fit for a palace. Talk about making the cut. Like that sweater with holes in it. No way, baby. Those mismatched socks, right? Those nasty towels that are threadbare and have the strings that are like you wrap around after you get out of the shower and strings are going down your leg no more. Not me. Think about how this will help you get rid of clutter. Now let's move on to the fourth one. Okay? The fourth core need is the need for connection. Now, this is basically this core need of connection is based upon the need to feel attachment with other people. So believe it or not, clutter does give us the feeling of attachment. How does it do that? Well, there are some moms, some of you right now, who the clutter that you keep is because someone somewhere had it at one time, it makes you feel a certain way. It was my great aunt's dresser. It was my. My mom gave me that sweater. Those shoes were given to me by my sister. When things like that happen, or maybe. Oh, that came from when I was in San Francisco with my friend that time. And we bought those cute vases. And those kind of things make you feel attached. Right. It fulfills that need for connection. And often we don't want to part with those things because they are filling that core need. So what do we do around that? Well, think about it. Usually this comes out of a fear of isolation. So that fear of isolation is that loneliness. Again, we don't want to feel that. So if you have this need to feel attachment, that's showing up as the need for connection, which is showing up as clutter in your life. How do we turn this around? So how can we use this need for connection to serve us around clutter? Well, first of all, I want you to hold this idea. The object does not carry the energy. Think about it. The object, the sweater does not carry the energy of my mom. No, I. I carry it in here in my mind. That's where I store it, not the sweater. The sweater was just representative. It was just representing that love. The vases we got in San Francisco, it was just representing that fun time. I have it all right here. So when we think about the object doesn't carry the energy. Now we can let the object go and we can still have that attachment. I always think about Dolly Parton has a song coat of many colors. And she talks about that coat that her mama made out of scraps and her childhood and beautiful song. Right. She probably doesn't have the coat. She doesn't need the coat. She has the memory of it. So I want you to think it. If something is super important to you, maybe you can journal around it. Maybe you can be like Dolly Parton, write a song around it or a poem around it. But you don't need the thing. We can let go of the thing, but we can keep the attachment. So I want to give you this thought around it that this heart thought. And it's this. I am in God's family, and he is a loving father with a. With an inexhaustible supply. So we're in a family. We're in God's family. And that attachment is on a spiritual level that nothing, no moth or rust can deteriorate that quality of connection. It's beautiful. So we already have that. So if you have this need for connection, celebrate it, journal around it. Call the people you love, if they're still here on this earth, and tell them how grateful you are and tell them how much you love it. Plan for other adventures together, other times shared with people. Plan around some events with your master moms and have a sorority session with them. But we can let the things go. Now there's two more core needs, but we've already covered the four core needs around deficiency filling up. Now there's two more core needs, but those are the plus needs. Those are the above and beyond needs, the growth, the contribution. So after you have this core needs filled, then you can focus on the other two core needs that can take you further. So those are the supplemental core needs, but we're going to talk about these because these two core needs can motivate you to even do some decluttering around them. So the first of these coordinates, actually this is core need number five is growth. And then this comes from the need to feel challenged, right? We. That's why you're here inside Mom Master University come. It could have originally like you could have been rolled in Mom Master University because you wanted to get out of the stress or get out of the overwhelm, right? Or connect with your sisters. But now that you're here, all of a sudden this need for growth has surfaced. Like, oh, I love to feel challenged. I love to grow. I love to reach new standards and reach new goals and get better results in my life, right? So this need for growth, how it can show up and decluttering is growth in your organizing, in your home management. So you can grow as a homemaker, you can grow as a mom, you can grow as an individual by creating a beautiful, elegant home which is free of clutter. Now I want to give you a thought that you can meditate on around this core need. And it's this. God can't lead me to treasure if I'm holding on to trash. Think about that. God cannot lead me to treasure if I'm holding on to trash. Now, not saying that your home is trashy, but if you're keeping things that you don't need or if you're keeping things that. You know what? I could just throw this away. It really wouldn't be nice to give it to someone. It's torn up. It's not. It's not a pretty sweater. It's got holes in it. Like that's not really a nice thing to give away to people. So maybe just goes in the trash. It's funny because sometimes we can part with with stuff to give to other people. But is it really like a gift if it's stuff that you just feel you don't. It's ugly or you don't want it or it's. It's nice dated things like that, it may be better just to let it go, okay, let it go in the trash. But we can't really access all that God has for us if we're filling our lives with anything unnecessary or that is not representative of that life that he's leading us to. Okay, now that core need number six is contribution. Now I want you to think about this. This need for contribution comes from really the need to feel altruistic, feel like you're part of something that you're giving, that you're loving, that you're supporting people so beautiful. And I believe that every single one of the amazing master moms, you do navigate with this, with this need for contribution because there's so much love in you. You always want to give. You always want to serve other people. You always want to show up for other people. So how do we do this? How do we take this need for contribution and channel it into decluttering? So what if you can be a contributor and serve people and love people by giving away your stuff? Now remember, this isn't the trash. You're not going to give away the trash, but giving away the nice things, like, what would it take? I remember one time I had this beautiful purse that a company gave me to promote, and I would have never spent the money on it. It was like, I don't. I don't know, very expensive purse. And I remember I was like, oh, my gosh, this is such a nice person. And I heard God say, I want you to give that purse to this person. And gave me the woman in mind. And it was like, I don't want to. It's like, oh, but this is so nice. He's like, to. I want. I got plenty more for you, but I really want you to be a blessing and let this particular thing give that. Now, he hasn't always told me around that, and I love to have nice things, but every once in a while he's like, hey, this, this right here. I want you to give that away. So in giving that away, she had actually been, like, asking God for a sign around that and said, God, I just want to feel loved. I want to feel that you really hear me and that you're. You really want blessing for me. She was working through a relationship with God about. About feeling like she was actually his child and she wanted. And he wanted to bless her. And that one act just revealed to her, it's like, I can trust him and he's a good father and. And he's. He's a good God and he wants to bless me with nice things. It was Such a beautiful moment. I'm so grateful that I got to play a part in that. But anyway, I want to give you this thought around this and it's this. I am a symbol and a source of God's overwhelming goodness. This is one of my core beliefs that I've practiced over and over. I say it every day. I am a symbol and a source of God's overwhelming goodness. I want you to think about that because then we can hold on to things loosely, even the nice things in our life. We can fulfill this need for contribution by blessing other people with it. So I want you to, you know, do the extended work. This is not enough. Remember, this is just the knowledge part. We have to turn knowledge into action. So, so we get results. Knowledge plus action, faith plus works equals success. So this is just one side of the situation. Make sure you get inside Mom Master University and let's do the extended work. Let's do the work. Let's take action. This is where we really turn the thought work into action. We really do the work. We put the pedal to the metal and we go full speed forward. So make sure you get inside Mom Master University. Do the six day extended work around making the cut in your heart and I guarantee you're going to be that much further to a clutter free home. Be blessed like crazy. So what about you, mama? Are you ready to enroll in the only school that will not only change your life, but also your legacy? Go to Mom Mastery University where we dive deep into the biblical principles that give ordinary moms extraordinary results. Get enrolled today.