One Of The Biggest Problems In Our Marriage (this may surprise you)

So here's the deal. Here's the deal. Blair and I have a pretty rock solid marriage, but there is a problem that we have. It's a recurring problem, and it may surprise you. Here's the big question. How are these average, everyday moms getting radical results in their lives? How are they able to transform their health, money, families, homes, and have fun doing it? The trick. We're not average. I'm Hannah Keeley, and I'm going to spill our secrets and answer your questions right now in that mom show. Okay? So the problem, the recurring problem that we have in our marriage, and it's been for as long as we've been married, which has been three years, four years, 27. 27 years. That's right. So the problem is what we like to do for fun.

Right. How we like to spend free time, you know, recreation.

We're so similar, but we're so vastly different.

We love spending tons and tons of time together, but love spending time like.

There'S nothing else we would rather do than to be together. Honestly, like nothing else.

But sometimes she. When she has free time, she likes to spend it, you know, outside. If it's in the spring or summer.

I love spring and summer in the pool.

Or, you know, just, you know, messing around, listening to music, dancing, doing all that kind of stuff. Yeah, I'm. I do a lot more. I like to paint a lot. I like to sort of read books and. And relax that way. I do love. I love sports as well. So I'll. Sometimes I'll, you know, I'll watch a game or I'll go out and play a little bit. And that's never been a big thing. Big. You know, so basically very different things that we like to do.

Yeah. And it's like, hush. It's like a very mismatch when it comes to what we like to do for fun. If it's a hot day in the summer, I'm jumping in the pool and he's skimming the pool to get any debris out, but he's having just as much fun as I am. See, this is one thing, and this is where we want to help you is this. This was a problem that we had. It is a problem that we have, but we found solutions. And here's the solution is I don't have to put my idea of fun on him. Right. And that's totally cool. I can have fun without making him have fun with me, and he can have fun without making me think that what he's doing is fun. Does that make Sense.

Yeah, it does make sense.

It does make sense. Okay. For example, when we were. Before we had kids, when we could actually go out and have fun, was one thing I love to do is I love to go dancing. I love to dance. Like, I'm not saying, like, professional dance, like, I'm gonna do a salsa. I just like to get out on the dance floor and shake my booty. That's all I'm saying.

And sometimes you did this also.

Well, I don't even know what the sauce is, but I'm sure I did moves that look like it. But Blair would not let me drag him out on the dance floor to save his soul.

That's not my thing. It's not definitely not my thing.

But see, when we were first married and when we were, like, first, like, engaged and going out, I'd be like, come on, why don't you want to go dance with me and try to make him have fun the way I have fun when that was really unfair of me? And it's also.

Well, it flipped back the other direction.

Flip back the same direction.

Right?

I mean.

I mean, I love. I could, you know, 20, 25 years ago, I mean, going to. We lived in Atlanta, so we could go see Atlanta Braves games. I could go see a game every single night of the week and sit there for three and a half hours and watch a baseball game, and that would.

I mean, I'm good with nachos.

Right?

That's about as far as it go.

That's as far as it goes. But that would be just as painful for you to have to deal with as, you know, going out dance.

I've gone to games, though, and it's been fun. I don't have to know what's going on.

I've gone to clubs with you, and it's been fun.

He doesn't have to go on the dance floor, and I don't have to, like, actually follow the game and understand what's going on.

Right.

So we can be together in the same space and have a totally different interpretation of fun. And so that's. I think that's really important. So there's two problems that. That we have here. Actually, it's the same problem. It's the. It's areas. Is having fun is our idea of recreation. No. Fitz, come here. Come over here, baby. So it's our idea of fun, and the problem is twofold. One is we don't have the same idea of fun.

Right.

And number two, honestly, with our lives, we don't have time for fun. Well, I'm not going to say we don't have time. We do not choose to. To make time for fun. And that's just being like Josh is being raw and real and honest with you. It's something that we have to do with full intention.

We go six and a half days.

A week and do it on purpose.

Six and a half days a week. We go six and a half days a week. Hard. Very, very hard. And then that half day, Sunday afternoons or whatever, usually it's. I mean, we're together.

It's hard for me to rest.

Yeah, it's just.

It really is.

We try to find places that we can catch up. What did we miss during the week that we can recommend? Can do.

Hey, mama. We'll get right back to the podcast, but did you know there is an entire online university just for moms? If you're ready to get radical results in your life, just go to mommastery.com that's M O M M A S T-R-Y dot com. Make sure you check it out and take your free quiz again. That's mommastery.com M O M M A S T-E-R-Y.com. now back to the podcast.

And that means it's involving our entire family. We are always doing stuff with everybody in the family. We're off at practices or we're taking people to church.

I mean, we live pretty crazy lives.

Yeah. Or doing work in the business. And by virtue of the fact that a lot of our kids are incorporated into our business, which is great. We see them a lot. But we're just very, very busy. We're not off to the movie theater a lot. We're not, but we do, you know, one of the things you don't really like.

You don't like to go see movies? No, I love to go see movies.

Well, I used to love to go see movies. I just think the movie industry is gone. That's a whole nother podcast.

But just enjoy a movie. Okay? Just enjoy a movie.

But the whole. One of the things I think is really interesting about how we spend time, you know, together in sort of a recreation sense, we have look for places that there are common interests. I mean, we do like trying out new restaurants, for example. And that's. I mean, when we find a date night and we, we are very deliberate about that.

And one time, I was actually, one time, I thought, you know what? We're gonna do new fun. Hush. We're gonna do new fun things. And one thing I love to do is go on Groupon, and you can find places local to you, discounts on fun activities. Like, we've gone rock climbing.

We've gone biking at the park.

Yeah, biking. Something like that. But so I thought, you know what? I'm gonna do something unusual because I love to do, like, new, spontaneous things. I love to do that kind of stuff. So I was like, I'm gonna find something new to do that's really fun. So I thought, cryotherapy. That'll be so much fun. I'll get a group on and we'll do cryotherapy. And I told him, and he's like, oh, heck to the no. I am not stripping down naked and getting in a frozen tank. I am not doing that.

Minus 200 degrees or something crazy like that.

Yes. And can I just tell you, my sister went with me. Okay? So I didn't. I didn't pout and be like, I'm in agreement, and you are gonna try your therapy with me. I was like, all right, cool. I'll go freeze my nipples off. You don't have to go do that. So my. Oh, no, you're scratching your head now. Come on, bring it back in. So, honestly, my sister went with me. We had a great time. It was hilarious. We froze our buns off. It was so. It was crazy and weird and fun. So we did that. So always check. Like, it may be fun for you, but it may not be fun for your partner. And. And if it's not fun for you, I'm not having any fun.

Right.

You know, I'm just trying to bring you into my interpretation of it, which is unfair. That's an unfair thing to do, is to project that onto your spouse.

Absolutely.

But there is give and take.

Yeah, you do. And you look for those places, just like I was saying earlier. You look for those places where, you know, there are either commonalities or if it happens to be a place that you're not comfortable with. You love spending time with your spouse and being with them. Try something out that's unusual. And maybe. Maybe the way to get there, just like you said earlier, is to do it in spaces that you've never done anything together.

Yeah. Do something unusual.

Do something, you know, or.

Yeah, there's a lot of cool things, but sometimes I'll throw out ideas. And he's like, I don't think so. And that's cool.

So I've never been a person that likes to go to shooting ranges and shoot pistols, and that's been something. Well, we didn't know, that was one of our new things. We just said we're going to go over to the one in our town here for beautiful facility. And we both had a blast. You know, it was a lot of fun.

Yeah, it was so much fun. And then I got on Groupon the other day and I was like, hey, dude, there's like archery lessons for two. And he was like, I'm down. So there's always things you can do. But that other problem that we need to talk about really quick before we wrap this up is make time for it. That's so important because. And we. This is y', all, pot, kettle, black. Like, I get it. Like, we struggle with this, but that's why we're being raw and real and honest with you. Is this a struggle for us to find the time? So we want to come alongside you and let's hold each other accountable because we have to do that. Like, we have to make it a non negotiable, like, no, this is date night. No, we're doing this. Like, we put it in the calendar and it's like sacred time. And we have to do that.

Yeah, absolutely. It is as important as scheduling, you know, your. Your daily workday and, and scheduling appointments to go, you know, to the doctor or what have you that that is on.

Which you better be doing.

That's on the calendar. You know, and we, we, you know, there are some times where we, you know, it's hit and miss a little bit, but, you know, once a week we try to find a night where we can go out and whether it's have dinner or just sit on. Sit on our dock or to take a walk or whatever it happens to be. And in some instances, sometimes it does get to be those fun things. We'll go to the shooting range or we'll go climb, you know, indoor climbing center or something like that, just to try something different and new.

Yeah. But we just want to encourage you. Like, it is a problem for us, so it may be a problem for you. But remember this, where there's a problem, there's also a new possibility. So don't just look at it like a problem, look at it. Hey, maybe this can open up something brand new that could even enrich our marriage even more. So we love you guys so much. Stay awesome. We got your back.

Bye. Bye.

Are you ready to get radical results in your life? I can give you the jump start you need for massive success as a mom. In fact, I've got that mom show starter kit right here with your name on it girl. And I want to give it to you absolutely free. Just go to thatmomshow.com or text the word kit. K I T to 345345. That's the word kit to 345345. That mom show Starter Kit comes with my best selling time management program for moms, Squeeze the Day, my guided faith based Master Mom Meditation, and a printable copy of the Master Mom Manifesto. Print that baby out. Say it every day. Just watch what happens. That Mom Show Starter Kit is valued at over $300, but I want you to have it for free. Just go to thatmomshow.com or text the word kit. That's K I T to 345345. Again, text kit to 345345. I'll talk with you. Check this out.