Sexy Back: Part 1

So I'm talking all the married mamas out there. Has your sex life kind of fizzled out a bit? I got you, sister. What we're talking about is how to bring that sexy back. I guarantee you this coaching series is going to give you a whole new glimpse of sexuality, and I think you're going to like it. Welcome to Mom Mastery University. The education every mom should have had but didn't. I'm Hannah Keeley, America's number one mom coach, and class is now in session. Hey there, Master Mom. I'm so happy you're here, and I'm so excited about what we're talking about. Now. Most of my coaching, I know a lot of moms listen to it with their kids, with their families, and. And just make it like a whole, like, home event. This is not one of those coaching series. So if you're listening to this with your kids, you might want to stop it and put on something different because we're going to go into some territory, and if you want to label it explicit, is going to be explicit, because we're going to get into all the details and all the things that people don't talk about, at least in faith circles a lot of times around sexuality. Because I believe sex is a gift from God. And as always, Satan can twist that and get us a little misaligned. And. And I see so many times where, I mean, this may be your story, maybe not, but we're a lot of moms just in the busyness of life and everything we have going on, like, sometimes satisfaction sex gets down on the. The bottom of the list. And I've even heard some moms, like, they're writing and. And talk to me, and they're like, you know, Hannah, if I never had sex again, that'd be fine with me. Okay. That shows me that we are under a very misguided view of sexuality, and something very powerful and transformational can happen in your life, not just in your marriage, but in you. When you start to kind of align your view of sex with God's view of sex. So this whole thing is about getting your sexy back, and it's not just about, like, how to increase intimacy in your marriage. We're going to go into some really deep territory. I'm so excited about this. I love talking about things that people often don't talk about, because if you notice, like, Jesus had no problem talking about things that really, like, made people uncomfortable. Even the disciples when he was talking about, you know, unless you eat of my flesh and drink of my Blood, you can enter the kingdom. The people were like, the disciples said, jesus, this is a really hard teaching. And he said a lot of people left after that. That didn't bother Jesus. He didn't try to like go back and oh, wait, wait, this is what I meant. Or let me explain this or let me make this okay for you. I. A lot of his teachings held deeper meaning that if you just hung out with him for a while, you could see what he meant from that. But he always gave us like a taste of it so we would draw in closer and then know more of the truth that he was trying to share with us. So in this three part series, Sexy Back, we're going to go into sexuality and I believe it's going to be in a, in a way that most people have never talked about this, at least in Christian circles. And just please, I tell everyone, if you're gonna come to a coaching with me, okay, if you're listening to this podcast or watching this YouTube show, or if you're inside Mom Master University, you know the two things you have to wear to a coaching series with me? Your steel toed boots and your big girl pants. So that's what we're gonna put on. And it's about sexuality so you don't have to put on anything else. This is gonna be fun. All right, so this is part one of this three part series and we're gonna talk about thieves and liars. That's the seven enemies of desire. So I know that, you know, we all know what desire feels like. We all know that sexual urge that we have, we all know that. Why does it wane? Why does it sometimes fizzle out? Why do we lose that desire? I mean, our mind is still the same mind, our brain is still the same brain, our body's still the same body. Well, okay, maybe not. Maybe not in all respects because my body before 7 kids sure isn't the same after 7 kids, but were still the same person. What happened to the desire? It wasn't just a hormonal explosion. There was a real reason or a real purpose behind that desire. So we're going to, hopefully in part one, we're going to find out what's really standing in the way. Okay? That's how I always do my coaching is first we have to find out where's the lie. Because if you notice every single place in our lives where we're having pain, it could be financial pain, it could be a pain in a relationship, it could be an emotional pain, it could be a bodily Pain. It all started with the lie somewhere. So if you're inside Covenant Coach Academy, you already know this, but a lot of us are not. So we have to understand the basic principles of how a lie, once it takes root in the soil of our mind, can produce a toxic circumstance in our life. Now, we can try to change the circumstances. That never works. It might work temporarily, but it doesn't. It isn't sustainable. So what we're going to do is we always go back to the lie. That's how we do all the coaching inside Mom Master University. And that is what works so well with the mom brain. So all of my coaching is for the mom brain. I was talking with this. This man the other day. He's like, well, why does it work so well for me? Because it always works. But with the mom Brain, it's like, I just know how to work with that wiring. So this is how we do all of our coaching. We find the life first. So we're going to talk about thieves and liars, the seven enemies of desire. Now. We're getting right into it. Hopefully you've already downloaded your workbook. If you're just listening to this podcast or you're just watching this, please know that if you're not already inside Mom Master University, why not? I don't understand. Like, you literally get access to over 400 coaching programs, the whole vault right there. You get $5,000 in bonuses right there when you enroll. So don't let anything stand in the way of you enrolling in Mom Master University and taking this to the next level. This is not enough. This is just a teaching. This is just a coaching. It's not enough. You got to take it further. You got to do the work. Faith without works is dead. Like, you want to be living faith. You want to have it show up in your life. And that means we do the work. So if you're not already inside, get inside Mommass University and download that workbook. So you could follow along here and do the exercises that we all do inside mmu. Because this is just a touch, like, get inside mmu. And that's where we do the real work. So let's talk about these seven thieves and liars, right? What does the thief do? They steal. What does a liar do? They distort truth. Now, thieves and liars, these are those things that have happened in your life or in your mind that have robbed you of your sexual desire and your pleasure and the joy and the power that can come from, like, vibrant sexuality. And also they're the liars that have distorted the truth of God's design for sex. So we're diving right into it. Number one is the analyzer. The analyzer. Okay, tell me if this is you. The analyzer is that part of your brain that when you're having sex or when you're making out, there's foreplay, whatever that looks like for you. Teach his own right. When you're in the middle of. Of having sex, is the analyzer part of your brain kicks off and it's, am I doing this right? What does he think? What does he think of my body? What is he looking at? Am I pleasing him? Am I being pleased? Where's his hand going? What am I doing? Did I pick up those? Did I make that? Return to Target. What am I getting from the grocery store tomorrow because I'm in charge of dinner? And do you know what I'm talking about? Some of you, some of you women are saying, a to the men, A to the men. I know what you're talking about. Like that analyzer kicks off. And what has happened when the analyzer kicks off? You have disassociated from your body. Now, there may be reasons why you're disassociating from your body. We can talk, we're going to be talking about that throughout the series. But with every one of these enemies, I'm going to give you a truth move, something. We're not going to go deep into these, okay? Because this is a three part series. We got a lot to cover, A lot to cover. So I'm not going to go deep into each one of these. I'm just going to show you what that is, okay? And how to overcome it. Now, the analyzer is disassociating from your body. What if you could stay in your body, draw it back in? And I like to imagine that as everything I'm thinking. The analyzer, everything the analyzer is thinking about is out there outside of your body. When you feel that analyzer kick off, what if you could intentionally draw back in and center yourself? I like to think about it as like, if my heart is my home, I'm coming home. I'm going to center. I'm going to pull into my body and I want you to think about this truth move right here. Just practice this. If you are stuck with the analyzer, practice. What if this is for my pleasure? What if this is for my body? Pull back in, pull back in. Like, imagine like taking all this energy that's out there. If you're watching the video I've kind of got my arms out here taking all the energy out there and just pulling it back in. And this feeling, okay, turn on the feeler, not the doer, the feeler, and just into your body and allow yourself to feel. Okay. I know that, like Hannah, that's easier said than done. Maybe not, because throughout this whole series, we're going to get into some pretty deep territory about why the analyzer kicks off, what made that analyzer get there in the first place. But right now, I want to give you a move to help you, like, start getting results from session one of the series. So imagine pulling back into your body and just saying, right now all I have to do is feel. Okay. Number two is the body Bandit. Now, if you have ever given birth to children or if you've ever been pregnant, and the likelihood of you ever giving birth to children, being pregnant, since you're listening to Mom Mastery University, is pretty high. So we're going to assume that your body's been through some things. Okay? I have been pregnant 10 times. I have given birth to seven babies. I got four waiting for me in heaven, set of twins and two other babies. My body has had seven pregnancies, given birth to seven children, carried full term. I have nursed three, seven children. And so your body is not the same post child as it was pre child. So our body does change. And for some of us, that results in a lack of confidence around your body. So this is why I'm calling this the Body Bandit, because it will if you allow it. It's kind of a like second cousin to the analyzer, because you're like analyzing your body. Oh, is he, is he looking at my cellulite? Oh, I got stretch marks. Oh, I've got a, I've got a muffin top. Oh my. I just saw my, like in the mirror and my, my belly was shaking. Like that kind of stuff, you know, we start to lose confidence in our body and we let that inhibit us. And what happens when that occurs? What happens is now we don't disassociate from our body. We disassociate from the connection that we're having with our husband. Okay? Now we've become so body conscious that we're not sex conscious. We're not intimacy conscious, we're not connection conscious, we're not his body conscious. Right? And so that, that consciousness, what if we can replace it with right now? I don't care. Here's the truth of it. Your hyper consciousness over your body is an energy that can actually Affect your husband. Like, I'm serious, guys. Energy is contagious. Have you ever, like, been with someone who's like, super down in the dumps, and before you know it, you're kind of slumped over and you're talking lower and you're like, what is wrong with me? You've been hanging out with this person too long and their energy, like, infected you. Or have you ever been with someone who had, like, a super strong energy and they're all excited and they're motivated and you're like, whoa, I'm just feel like I can conquer anything now because their energy infected you. The strongest energy in the room always wins. You can quote me on that. Say it all the time. The strongest energy in the room always wins. So the strongest energy in the bed always wins. Not that you always have to have sex in the bed. Try all different places. But understand, if your body consciousness is so strong that it starts to affect sex, he is picking up on the energy that you're putting out there. He probably doesn't care about your body, but he start. He might even start to care or be more conscious because he's picking up on your energy because it's so strong. You might be like, putting your hand over your belly or maybe like, oh, turn off all the lights or something like that because you're body conscious. So the truth move here is, I love my body like it. Maybe it's not in the best shape, but you know what? It's moving me through life. Okay? What if I could just experience vulnerability? And here's the crazy thing. What if vulnerability is actually pretty sexy, right? What if. What if confidence is the sexiest attribute in the world? And what if your body consciousness is starting to decrease your confidence so you're not able to enjoy sex and it can inhibit both of you from enjoying sex? So the truth move is I love my body. Like, yes, it's been through some stuff, and guess what? It's supposed to go through stuff. This is the vehicle that is driving you through life. So, yes, it's supposed to get stretch marks and it's supposed to have bulges and it's supposed to be imperfect. Whoever said perfection is beautiful? What if imperfection can be beautiful? And what if you can just love your body? What if you can just experiment? Okay, Next time you have sex, practice, like, fake it till you make it. You've heard that a lot of times. I don't believe in fake it till you make it. I believe in practicing a thought till it becomes manifest, because that's how the Bible says we do it. Everything that is unseen. I mean, everything that is seen, comes out of that which is unseen. Right? We bind and loose in heaven before we can bind and loose on earth. So what if you just, like, operate in the supernatural? And what if you just play pretend. I'm going to pretend that I love my body, that I'm super confident. I'm just going to play pretend. I'm going to pretend like I'm somebody else who loves their body. Just see if that affects your sexual experience. I bet you it will. Okay, so the third thief and liar. Those thieves and liars, we gotta kick them out of our bedroom or wherever you plan to have sex, because we don't have to limit it. Okay, so the third one is the tool. Okay, let me explain this. Let me explain this enemy here. A lot of times we see sex as a tool. It's a tool to relieve anxiety. It's a tool to boost my. My man. It's a tool to connect us. It's a tool to. Because we're married and we're supposed to, like, practice it, whatever. Like, the thing is, if it's a tool, it no longer becomes an experience. And I want you to think about that. Like, think about a tool is an experience. A hammer is a hammer. And you use a hammer when you have to drive in a nail or other purposes. But, Wow. So a hammer is a hammer, you use it as a tool, it drives in a nail. And it's not like an experience. You're not gonna have an experience with a hammer? Well, that would be kind of weird. Okay, weird. It's okay. But what I'm saying here is sex isn't always the tool to do something. Sex can be an experience to embrace. And I want you to think about that. If you have that tool mentality of like, oh, well, this is good because it performs this function. You're forgetting that your sexuality is a vibrant part of who you are. It's not just a tool you have. It is a vibrant part of your psyche. It's a vibrant part of your body, is a vibrant part of your energy field. And so we have to understand that is more than a tool. It is an experience. So here's the truth. Move. Okay? You're going to love this one. What if sex is a way of life? Think about it. Your sexuality is how you express yourself with another person. How you connect with another person. The intimacy, the vibrancy, the. The. Even the climax, like embracing the fullness of life. So what if sex, instead of like being partitioned into a portion of your life, into a tool. Here's what we do in the evenings at this time, and we do for 20 minutes or whatever. What if sex was now a way of life? Because sex is an expression. Sex is also a receiving. Sex is an exchange of energy. Sex is a way you. You present yourself to the world. Your feminine energy. So what if sexual could be a way of life? That energy, that vibrancy, that voluptuousness, living a juicy life, take it out of that. That compartment you put it in and let it touch every portion of your life. And we're going to go more into that. So stick with me. I know it might sound a little weird, might sound a little out there, but I promise you, it's going to help you, like, embrace sexuality. Like, you never breathe sexuality turned you into such a powerful woman. I'm serious. It works. So number four, the fourth enemy of desire is the necessary evil. Oh, this is so sad. This breaks my heart when we see sex as a necessary evil. And I told you, there are some women I've talked with who said if I never had to have sex again, I would be perfectly okay with that. Not so here, sister. Because sexual. And for a lot of people who have experienced trauma or pain, anything like that. Yeah, it feels like, well, I. I have to do it. Like, it's part of my role as a. As a wife, as part of my role as a woman. Like, no, no, no, baby. Sex is not a necessary evil. It is not your duty. Sex is your privilege. It is your privilege. Not just your husband's, but it is your privilege. And what? So here's the truth move. We could go deep into this because there's a reason it turned into a necessary evil and not this, like, insatiable thing that you could barely, like, hold yourself back from. Like, you did have desire at what time? What happened? Right? If it became a necessary evil, something happened in your mind, not in your body. So we have to think if it became like this necessary part of my life because I'm a wife and mother, we're going to erase that and we're going to replace it with this truth move. Sex is good for me. Just think about it. Sex is good for me. It's not just something I have to do, something I have to perform. It's something I have to get over with. Sex is good for me. It makes me more open, it makes me more vibrant, it makes me more confident, it makes me more energetic, it makes me more authentic, it makes me more flexible. We're going to talk about all this, but I want you to hold that idea. Like, what if sex was not just for your husband, but it was just as much for you to help you, like plug into your energy source, try it out. You never know. Number five is trauma drama. Now a lot of us have been through trauma around sex and it could be we're going to talk about that, but a lot of it could have been around abuse, misuse, religious trauma. Like, there's a lot of trauma that we kind of internalize in our bodies. And sometimes it may not even been sexual trauma. There could be trauma where you just learn to not trust my body. I don't trust my body because that's what trauma comes down to. Right now. If you have gone through any sexual trauma at all, I want you, I'm pretty sure if you have access to Mom Master University and if you don't go get enrolled right now. But you can even do a trial membership like get inside Mommaster University. There is a coaching series in there called Shh. Don't talk about it. You can just search for it. Go to that coaching series and go through it. If you have had any sexual trauma at all that addresses that in detail. We go deep into the healing process from sexual trauma. But I want you to understand, sometimes we just don't trust our bodies. It could have been around sexual trauma or it could have been around inappropriate touching. It could have been around something that we even did to ourselves, you know, that we kind of lost trust with our body, lost confidence with our body. So the, the one truth move we can make when it comes to sexual trauma, the, the, the trauma drama is I'm safe. I'm safe in this moment. Like, we don't have to like, look at the grand scale of, of our sexuality, but we can look at, in this moment of having sex, of intimacy. I'm safe. Now if you don't feel safe, that's another issue where you definitely need to, you know, if, if you need coaching around that and you are not an elite, get inside elite because you'll be assigned and a personal coach that I have trained that is certified to work with the mom brain, certified as a Covenant coach that can help you walk through that. So if you don't have a personal coach or I mean anyone who you got to have a personal coach, get signed up for the elite level Inside Mom Master University and you will have a personal coach. So that idea of I'm safe, I want you to again, if you have to play pretend, play Pretend. But hold that idea of right now. Just right now I'm safe. I'm safe. Because think about it. Sex requires vulnerability. How can you feel open and exposed and vulnerable if you don't feel safe first? So that is a. Safety is a necessary requirement in order for you to be open and vulnerable, which is necessary for intimacy. So a lot of times that. That may be standing in the way of intimacy. It's. I just don't feel safe. So we're going to practice that. Remember, if you have gone through trauma, go. Make sure you go through this. Don't talk about it. Get your personal coach. Let's get past that so we can enjoy sex. Now, number six is the one and done. Okay? This is like another. This is like another second cousin to the tool. Okay, the one and done. This is. It's an end in itself. Sex is the end in itself. Okay? The is finished. It was a work that we had to do and it's done. Okay. I don't believe sex is the end act. Just like I don't believe in orgasm is the goal of sex. A lot of people, like, equate, okay, well, sex. Sex happens and it's categorized as success if there's an orgasm. Not necessarily because we're adopting that same mentality of our sexuality. The sex act is an end in itself. And that's where it's done. The one and done. So I want you to hold this idea. What if it's actually work with me here. I know it's different, a portal to a more powerful version of you. What if sex is not the end of the. It's not. It's not. The goal is actually part of the whole journey. Your sexuality is the energy that you walk through life with. Your feminine energy is a sexual energy. And so if you think about it instead, like, make that truth move. Be sex is a portal to a more vibrant me. So it's not just like, okay, we had sex check done, cool, finished it. Like, I've heard of people, you know, doing these, like, sex challenges and sex schools. Like, let's have sex, you know, five times a week. Like, personally, that would. That would not be enough for me. But. And after this is over, it's not going to be enough for you too. But I want you to think about this. Sex is actually a portal. Like, it's not the end game. It's a part of the journey to just becoming a more vibrant person, more powerful in my sexual energy. And the energy that how I. How I process everything, how I walk through life. As a woman. So sex is a portal to a more vibrant me. And then the last one, number seven. Okay, I didn't have this on here at first, but I had to put it on here. The politician. Okay. It's like, Hannah, why would you put a politician under thieves and liars? Oh, I don't know, just kind of seemed a little, you know, fun. But. So let's go into this. The politician. Now I want you to think about this. Sometimes we will pick apart the sex act to see like, like we have it on a scale, right? Well, well, he doesn't do this enough. Or I do this all the time. Or, or he's saying, well, she doesn't do this and I do this and it becomes like this political game of who's doing what. He doesn't do this enough. She doesn't do this enough. Well, he does this. Well, he likes this. Well, he wants this, but I want this. You may as well have a debate. Okay? And, and that's not going to be any fun for anyone, especially not you. So think about this. Instead of sex being a transactional thing where you pick it apart, you have to have even scales. What if sex can be something for your pleasure? Now this is, it feels so counterintuitive because we've been taught, especially as good Christian girls and that sex is for like to serve the other person and make sure they're satisfied and oh, are you enjoying this? And there's so much joy in serving the other person. I'm not saying there isn't, but I don't think we can fully embrace our sexual energy if we're so preoccupied with making sure we're pleasing somebody else. Now you can test me in this, but when you turn your mind inward and just entertain the idea, what if it's for my pleasure? What if this could be a potentially, I only like to the term selfish because we're taught to like put ourselves last and moms always put themselves last. So trust me, this is the most counter intuitive move for you to make is to make selfish a pleasurable, personal, selfish act. It's going to feel so selfish for you, but I want you to entertain this. What if the next time you had sex, instead of saying, well, I do this, he does that, he doesn't do this, what if you say, you know what, I'm just going to like open myself, release and dive into my pleasure. Now if you have a problem with this, if sex isn't like super pleasurable for you again, go into mom Master university and search it's my pleasure. It's all about making sex pleasurable for you because you have sex drive, you have desire, you have a beautiful sexual energy. And we're going to celebrate that by calling attention to the thieves and liars and kicking them out. Now, this has been part one of the Sexy Back series, but this is just a little fraction. Make sure you get inside Mom Master University. Get that workbook, go through the exercises, and make sure you tune into the video or just the audio, whatever's convenient for you. Where we dive into actually putting these, putting these, putting this lesson here, this coaching series into practice. Okay? That's such an important part. Do not neglect that, because this isn't going to be as powerful as you actually putting action to the coaching. And that all happens inside the extended work in Mom Mastery University. So I will see you there. So what about you, Mama? Are you ready to enroll in the only school that will not only change your life, but also your legacy? Go to Mom Mastery University, where we dive deep into the biblical principles that give ordinary moms extraordinary results. Get enrolled today.