Takeover Tuesday: Allie Casazza

All right, well, I hope you are ready to be blessed like crazy, because if you are like a lot of moms, like I was like Allie was, you may be there right now where you are just surrounded by clutter, overwhelm. It just gets to a place where even, like, outside and inside, it's just too much. You are going to love this episode today because I'm talking with Ali Kate Casaza. I love that last name. I could say I want to make, like, a pasta dish called Casaza or something. I love it. But I've got Allie Casaza with us today. And she was at that point where she was depressed, overwhelmed. Looked around her, she's like, do I really need all this stuff pulling on me? And she does something radical. She does something that a lot of people would consider pretty crazy. And I want her to share her story and what results came out of that, because it's not so crazy when you look at what happened as a result. So, Ally, tell us about that time in your life, because a lot of moms feel like that right now where there is just too much.

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Right? Yeah. So at this time, I had three kids. I have four now. But at the time, I had just had my third. And so it was just an overwhelming time in itself. But I was just really, really struggling. It wasn't like a postpartum depression because I had struggled with that with my firstborn. It was very situational and just very hopeless. I believe in John 10:10 that I am called to live abundantly, and that motherhood doesn't exclude me from that. If anything, I was feeling the Lord pulling me towards. You need to be experiencing that even more in a sweet season that isn't gonna last forever. And I just was feeling like, but how, you know, how do I. And you know how we get in our own heads and try to fix it. I hear from the Lord and I'm like, okay, but let me get in my own head now and try to fix it and figure out how to do what you're calling me to do.

Yeah. It's like, all right, thanks. I'll get back at you when I come up with a solution. So thanks.

Yeah, thanks. So I was just really you know, how do I. What am I missing? Like, why am I the only one that is. Honestly, I was kind of hating the whole thing. I was waking up every morning, tired before the day even started, overwhelmed. I felt like all I do is clean up, change diapers, and make snacks. And I know I'm not even enjoying my kids. It's not like, where I needed to check my servant's heart, and this is motherhood. It was just. It was just resentment and depression and complete and total burden. And so I had this one particular day where I got my kids some snacks and, like, ran upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom and just sat on the floor and just was sobbing and had this moment where I just. I remember very vividly crying out physically. Like, just crying out to the Lord and saying, you know, I don't understand why you. Why what I'm missing. Like, what am I doing wrong? Do I just suck at this?

Like, what.

What am I missing? All I do is clean up, and I can't even enjoy this. Change my heart or show me. Like, I was angry, you know, do something for me. And I. It was like a brick hit me, you know, I just felt like the Lord whispered to me, what exactly do you spend your time doing all day? And I remember being kind of frustrated. Like, I just said, cleaning up. And it was kind of like, well, cleaning up what exactly? And I thought about it, and I had no answer. And I was just like. I remember saying out loud, and it's just stuff. It's just stuff. And I don't even know if we need it. And it was like, boom. That little. Like that epiphany. Not little. Huge epiphany.

Huge.

And I stopped crying immediately. I had this knowing in my spirit that something was about to change. It was just like nothing else I've ever experienced. I knew what I needed to do. I went. I finished my day, got the kids in bed early, and I went straight into the playroom.

Yeah.

Which was the big open room with lots of bins and boxes that were overflowing with toys. And I was stood in there, and I knew, okay, none of this is purposeful. I always really wanted my kids to have a childhood like I did growing up in the 80s 90s of playing outside and roller skating. And I didn't want them to be addicted to the TV like everyone else was. And so all the toys that light up and play for them, I didn't want any of it. So I got rid of all the toys that I didn't feel lined up with my intention for my kids childhood. And that really left nothing. It was like trains and tracks, Legos, a couple of my kids, very, very favorite things. I didn't want to scar them or anything. And then it was giving them a.

Lot to talk about later to their therapist. Well, it always goes back to that day.

Yeah, exactly. So I left their favorite things and then just things that I felt like encouraged imagination and constructive play. And the room was pretty much empty. And I gotta be honest, I was afraid of the next day of what was gonna happen, especially with my daughter, who was like three and a half. And I sent the kids in there to play. After breakfast, like usual, I squeezed my cup of coffee and waited. And I heard her say, mom, you cleaned. I've been looking for this. And they played in that room at age three and two for over two hours without interruption, which is amazing. Alone, but for their ages, it was amazing. And I started researching it and it was because kids play better when they have less options.

Wow.

So that just. I realized I was onto something and it needed to keep going. And I went through the rest of my house from there.

That is amazing. Kids play. I need to camp out there for just a second because I think the Holy Spirit is telling us something there. And kids play better with less options. Allie, I can't help but feel so many moms today in our society where we're glued to this thing. There's fomo, we've got this fear of missing out, and there's all these options. And all of a sudden the dreams and the goals and the plans that God has purposed for you get drowned out. Because all the options, like, we're exactly like your kids. Because all of a sudden we can't get focused on that one purpose in that one chapter of our life, whatever that is. And we're just, I should be doing this, and this person's doing that, and this person's doing that, and all of a sudden, you know, we can't play anymore. Like, we can't rest in God's perfect rest because we think, oh, I'm missing out on all this stuff. And that is the same as with your kids. Wow.

Wow. And I've seen that. I've seen it in my students and my clients. I've seen it in myself after that, you know, I realized this can be carried into other areas of my life. And it did. It allowed more fol. I know now how to sit and just be still instead of doing all the things and being at all the things and cleaning up all the things. And it really was more than being about a clean house and having more time for myself and my family. It was a shift in lifestyle for sure. I just didn't realize until later.

Oh, my goodness. That is amazing. That is so cool. And so you were scared at first. You were like, I don't know how my kids are going to respond to this. But then, what a blessing that is. Like, that's so incredible that out of, you know, just going back to God's direction, there's too much stuff. And when you with boldness and clarity, when you're just obedient, just the blessing that comes out of that is truly remarkable. And as a mom, we have authority over our homes. Like, we set the climate. We set the tone. We set the tone, absolutely. And so our kids will follow suit. Just an example, I decluttered my closet this past week and it was just, you know, you'll get more and more clothes. And all of a sudden, you know, okay, I need to get rid. You would probably be so proud of me because I was like channeling my inner alley and I got rid of 75% of my closet. I'm like, I just. No, I just tossed it. And then two days later, my daughters did the same thing and they came downstairs with like these huge trash bags. I'm like, what is that? They're like, oh, we're cleaning else up. Oh, my God. Thank you, Jesus. It was so good because it just, it frees you up. So that is amazing.

Kids know is what you show them. So this whole thing happened five years ago. So over the last five years, my daughter, the three year old that I was afraid of her reaction, she's now 8 and she is definitely a little minimalist. She's very intentional with what she chooses to keep. It's really, really neat to pass on. You don't need to just have stuff because everyone else does. Why do you want that? Why do you want that for your birthday? And I don't even need to say it. She is that way because that's what she knows. So it's really neat to see.

Oh, that is so beautiful. What a blessing to see that in your kids. For them to make wise choices. Not just because, well, everybody has this and it's popular right now, but to truly value something. And I want to talk because a lot of moms are like, you know what, that sounds really good. Like I could totally do this thing. And I pulled a few tips off of your website that are going to help moms because I Don't like to. I'm like you, and I'd rather empower moms for change. And so I don't want just this to be a good idea and leave it. And they go back to life as usual. I want change out of this, which, you know, that's why we're together. So I'm going to go through some of those, and I want you to share about them. And number one, I love this. These are like how Allie just got started, how she decluttered her home. And number one is I just started. I love that because we wait for the perfect time and the perfect opportunity, and we wait for the stars to line up and the kids to go back to school or something, and we don't just get started. And that's number one. I just started.

Yes, I feel like. And I always, you know, I always want to be gracious, but it breaks my heart on a daily basis that I get these emails from these women who are like, I really want to start this, or, I really want to take your course, but I'm pregnant or I'm moving, which, by the way, is the perfect time to do this. And, you know, my homeschooling right now or something, and it's like, girl, I want to squeeze your face and tell you and look in your eyes, no, it's now or never. Really. Honestly, if something needs to get done, then it needs to get done right now. Especially when it is going to change your entire life, you know? Like, why would you put that off? Like, here's. Basically, I always joke that I feel like I. And it wasn't me at all. It was totally the Lord. But I always joke that I found I tripped over this secret that nobody is talking about. And it's like, oh, my gosh, I need to tell everybody. And it's like, I just told you the secret to all those things you complain about every day to your husband, all the things that are overwhelming you. I just gave you the secret, and you can start right now. And you're like, well, I've been feeling kind of tired, and it's like, you can fix it right now.

I know. Want to do a little more than just gently squeeze the face sometimes. I want to do like that because it's. It's like, you know what? I've been really suffering from this cold. Oh, here, take this. It'll get rid of it immediately. Okay. I'll just wait till I feel better, and then I'll take it. Drives me crazy. There's no perfect time. You just Stinking. Start right here, right now. There's no point.

Just do it. Even if it's a little bit. Yes.

And it's funny because in my reality show where I would go and I would help moms, and they would tell me what the problems were, and there was always something that was cluttered because you have that in your spirit. Whatever is outside of you is also inside of you. So you'd have that clutter in your spirit. I'm like, okay, you know what? We're gonna start right now in that room. They're like, wait, like right now? I'm like, yeah, like, right now. Well, do I need to go change, or do I need to give the kids something to do? I'm like, no, no. Go grab that box right now. We're starting panic. Panic.

Yeah, panic. It's a great idea. But then you gotta clear the things that are holding you back and just start.

Absolutely. Just start now. One thing number two is I asked questions and made decisions about each item, and I like that. And especially if you can make those decisions quickly.

Mm, yeah, absolutely. There are a few ideas floating out around there. Marie Kondo, her book about the magical art of tidying up. Very good book. But I don't have time as a mom of four kids with homeschooling and running my own business to stand there and pick every single thing up and ask myself if it sparks joy. Like, I don't know, right? Like, I don't know. I have a screwdriver, and I need it. It doesn't spark joy. It just doesn't work for me. So for me and how I did this, it was more realistic. And just, you know, what purpose of this is this helping me live on purpose? Is this something that I really need? Could I live for 30 days without it and not go buy a new one? If not, why am I allowing it to be something that I have to pick up? So it was just more of like a realistic, like, wham, bam, let's get this done, make decisions, move on.

Yeah. And I started thinking about each thing, and, like, I am paying rent for this guy. Do I love this thing enough to pay rent for this guy? And so that, like, makes me want to part with a lot of stuff. And it's funny when you mention Marie Kondo, because, you know, and if it was a gift, you're supposed to, like, thank it.

I'm not.

I don't want to thank you. Like, I felt okay.

Yeah, like, no. Yeah, exactly.

I thank you for coming into my life, and I release you but, you know, it does work with your perspective. It was good.

Well, number three, it just doesn't work for me.

Yeah, it just didn't work for you. Number three is I didn't set a time limit, but I had set times. So explain that.

Okay. So a lot of women will write to me and say things like, well, I really want to get this done before blank happens, or whatever. And having that kind of time constraint on yourself is just. You're actually kind of subconsciously procrastinating by thinking, oh, well, I need to set a timeline. I need to have an organized way to do this in a set time. Just do it. And when you start to feel like the momentum wears off, like, you know, when you first start to diet and you have all that willpower and then that kind of fades away and you start in donuts. Yeah. So when that starts to happen, I would set up, like, purging appointments with myself.

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And so I wanted to keep going, but I was just not feeling it anymore. So I started putting it in my calendar. Every Monday and Saturday morning for two hours, I am decluttering this house no matter how I feel or what's going on. And I put it in my calendar like a date. So I would treat it like a real appointment, like I'm not going to cancel it. And that was that. And that kept me going forward.

I like that because I think a lot of people consider decluttering like a one and done thing. Like, I'm just going to declutter my whole house and then live happily ever after. But it's a process because stuff is still coming in and so you have to. I love your idea of purging appointments. That is so cool. Like, you show up to that. And I love that idea because it professionalizes it. It's not just like. Because if you say, yeah, I'll maintain it, that doesn't happen. But I love your idea of those purging appointments. That is so cool. So it's not a one and done. People are listening. Don't think that this is the summer or this is the spring or this is the season that I'm going to declutter. Because you'll have that clutter still. Because, like you said, stuff is still coming in. So you've got to just change your perspective on what do you really need, and then you're able to let go of stuff. And you can think it.

Yeah. If you want.

If you want to. Number four is you started with the toys. I like that.

I personally started with the toys just because that was the area that annoyed me the most, because it was my kids. I had all these toys. You know, we had bought some of them, Some of them were gifts, and I had this whole room for them to play with. And, you know, I was behind on the housework all the time, and that was the whole thing. So I needed them to go play. And they would wander in there, of course, dump every single bin out.

Oh, yes.

That's funniest thing in the world.

That's so much fun.

And then wander back out. Yeah, Then they just wander back out 10 minutes later, asking for a snack when they just ate. So it was, like, not even serving its purpose. And I had to constantly reorganize it for some to come over and play, because that's what moms do. And it just sucked.

Yeah.

And I did start there because it wasn't overwhelming for me, because it wasn't my stuff, and I knew what I wanted for my kids. I was very confident in that room, and it gave me an immediate return on investment. I immediately felt a difference in my time.

I love it. I love it. Now, number five is I tackled things in order of how much time they took up. What if you don't know how much time something's gonna take up, though?

Well, for me, what I mean by that is I knew, and I think most of us is just kind of the same as how it was for me, but I knew that that toy room sucked up the most of my time.

I see. Yeah.

And then I knew that laundry and dishes, those were the biggest time suckers for me. And I wanted to. I needed to see, like, I'm an immediate result kind of person. I needed to see. I needed to feel better immediately because I was really in a bad place.

Yeah.

I was about to go and, like, do the medication thing for depress. And in my spirit, I just knew that's not what you need right now. It's a situational thing. So I needed to see instantly. And by tackling those three things first, it was immediate.

You Know what, Ali? It just reminds me of how much we all need breathing room.

Yes. That's what the whole issue is.

Yeah, it really is. And that's why a lot of people are suffering from anxiety, depression, overwhelm and then medicating that situation when really it's just too much. Have you ever noticed, like, when you, like, painting a room or you're changing around furniture and you move stuff out of a corner, like, say, like, maybe you're replacing a sofa and you move it out, the immediate thing the kids want to do is go to that empty spot and like, I don't know, like, do a little dance or something. Because it's like, it's open.

It's open.

I have room. And imagine if we could live with that open space. It would just be like a big party. We could just enjoy that.

Right? And that's. Honestly, it sounds so funny, but that really is what it was. If you don't tippy toe around this and you really look at your life and say, what is taking up the most of my time or what I was looking to it, like, what do I need more time for? And how can I gain that? And if you're. I do laundry very little now. I do dishes very little now. I just rinse after every meal. It's not. It's impossible in our house to collect the big piles of stuff that you have to catch up on. And so. Oh, that was hours. Freed up hours and started my blog. I mean, it changed everything.

Yeah. By the way, Allie's kids wear the same clothes for a month, so that's. That's fine.

That's how the joke. I'm joking.

I'm joking. Wouldn't it be nice, though, if our kids just, like, had a suit we could, like, zip up. They wear it. It's like repellent of everything, especially for the boys.

They're so messy.

Oh, my word. And like, I don't know, how many boys do you have?

I have three boys.

Okay. So I have three boys. And, you know, you don't pass those clothes down. I mean, they are just like. They are threadbare rags. They're not even fit for the rag drawer. By the time that third boy comes around, he gets all these things. I know.

It's so funny to me when people ask, like, what do you do with hand me downs? And I'm like, come again?

Like girls. It works. The only problem I know, and I.

Don'T have any other girls.

Yeah. So I have four girls and I actually raised five girls. But but they would pass stuff down. And the only problem was it's not fashionable anymore with the boys. It's like they didn't care. It's like if it could squeeze over their bodies or if it flapped around in the breeze, it didn't matter.

Yeah, totally.

So much easier. Okay, so number six was I did it in waves. I like the waves. You can feel it building up and then I'm gonna tackle this thing.

Yeah. And I think it kind of goes back to the one and done idea where, you know, I get. Okay. One of the emails that I get a lot is when people take the course, they're like, well, I still feel like there's more. And I'm like, that's part of the process. The first time you go through your house, you're very scared, you're very timid. You're kind of getting rid of what you feel like isn't on purpose or whatever. And then you go through it and you notice the difference. Your mentality shifts. So of course now you're going to start seeing what a difference it makes and you're going to start noticing, I think I can get rid of that and that and this and more. So that's what I mean by the waves. I found that I had to keep going through. And it wasn't a burden. It was very liberating and exciting because every wave I was getting rid of more and more. You don't. What was important to you and earned a spot on the shelf last month when you went through your living room is like, why would I ever keep that?

Yeah. I was thinking it just reminded me. I don't know why this reminded me of it, but the other day my husband gave me a card and it was really sweet and it was precious. I put it up next to the flowers he gave me on the kitchen counter and then after a couple days threw it away. I mean, I don't. And one of my kids was like, do you not love dad anymore? I'm like, I don't have to keep a card. Like, I received the love, I received the message. I can thank the card.

Yes, thank you. Since that's what we're supposed to do and move on.

Thank you for letting go. Expressing your loves are, you know, important at that time. And then you don't owe it something. You don't have an allegiance to that thing. You can just let it go. So number seven is I got strict with some rules. What were those rules I'm interested in knowing.

Yeah. So basically, I don't Okay. I do not like the idea that's kind of out there and popular right now of following some kind of, like, unwritten minimalist rules of how many of each item. And I just. Honestly, I think it's pointless. I think it's very restricting, and it feels like it's depravity.

And that's like a dust.

Yeah, it sucks. And I. You know, I've got a very close girlfriend who is so minimalist. She lives in a tiny house, and she has this collection of shot glasses, of all things. She doesn't even drink, but it's something that she collected with her adventures around the world with her dad, who's now passed on. So this collection of shot glasses is in her little tiny house, takes up a ton of room. It's very important to her. But she doesn't even have a toaster oven because she feels like she doesn't need one. It's relative to you. So I'm not about following rules with what is important. You can't tell people what's valuable. They need to decide for themselves. But one area that I did find that rules helped me was with. For example, when I was purging the spare room, we had a huge, oversized house we did not need, and there was an empty room that was basically just like a crap holder.

I think most people have that at.

Least like, a cupboard or closet or something. So I was purging that room, and then I made all the piles of, like, keep trash and donate. And then I got tired and walked away. And over the course of a couple weeks, I left it there. The kids had gone in there and undone everything. And I ended up telling myself, okay, this doesn't work. That was a waste of time. One of the rules that I will say that I definitely suggest is when you're purging something, follow all the way through. Take the donation pile, bag it up, put it in the back of your car for the next trip to Goodwill, or call Salvation army and have them come get it. Take the trash into outside of the trash can, away from the calendar. Gone. Find a home for the pile. You're not done with a purging appointment until you are finished. And that one rule, really, when I started doing that, my momentum just, like, got a big shove.

Yeah, because you're wrapping something up, and we all want to get those habits of completion where it's wrapped up and it's done. Number eight is, I removed my crutch. I'm interested. Like, what was your crutch? Were they excuses or what was that?

No, actually it's the room I was just telling you about. I call it a clutter crutch. Because like I said before, especially in your first wave of decluttering, you're a little timid. You're kind of afraid that you might need something later and you're not really sure. You're not confident. And so what a lot of women do and what I had done is as I'm going through things and I'm like, I'm stuck on this thing. This is a sentimental item or whatever. I don't really know what to do. But I had a safety zone where I could put stuff. And then I could say I decluttered my bedroom, but I didn't really because I had put 10 items in my holding cell. And so I stopped and I removed that room. So it was completely gutted out. And I made it into a guest room. And I didn't have a secret hiding place to store stuff that I wasn't sure about anymore. So it forced me to make decisions. And then again, I got like that big momentum shove forward from doing that.

I need to tell you something funny. When I was doing a television special for a network, they wanted me to come in and help this woman declutter her house. She had three sets of twins, if you can imagine. And she lived in a tiny, you know, well, it was a small home, you know, she lived in a small three bedroom home. And so it just held on to everything. It was kind of almost like a hoarder house, you know, I'm talking about where you have to like make a pathway. And it was really gross. It was really gross. And I remember I just pulled all this stuff and she said, I don't need it, I don't need it, I don't need it. I was like, okay, so. So we did that all day and I had to go. And I was like, you've got homework, you've got to get rid of all of this. Like if you want to put it somewhere, if it has a home, if not, I want it outside by the curb. We're going to take it out in the morning. She had nothing. She had taken the little bassinet out of her tiny little baby room, put it in her room, and just threw all the stuff in that room because she didn't want to deal with it. I'm like, you. So we basically wasted all our time. It's like we moved it from this to this. Yeah, you didn't move it out. Like, the point is to get Real estate and move it out. Yes.

And that's. It's so funny because that's my husband. He always, like, he'll move things from one area to another and be like, done. I'm like, no, the mess just relocated.

Yeah.

Like, you know, it's so funny. Like, you don't. And I have done it too, with decluttering. You did? Obviously, I had to fix the problem. But you don't realize when you're stuck in your head, you don't realize what you're doing. You need to make decisions, not shift piles around.

Right, right. Because then you're just making a parallel move. You're not making any progress. So you don't want any other parallel moves.

No. Was your time. We don't have a lot of time. Don't wait.

No. You're trying to create more time, not throw it away. So number nine is I tackle the little things. Oh, I hate this, Allie. Because I hate the little things. It's like, I don't want to do anything with this. Like, what do I do with this? I don't know. I'll just put it down. So many moms are like that. It's like, I won't mess with it because I don't really know exactly what to do. Tell me what to do with the little things.

Yeah, totally. So after I got all the big areas, I started making my purging appointments with myself. Like, about only doing those things, opening drawers and actually taking the time to sit there and put the USB into the computer and see what was on it, upload it to the cloud, get rid of the USB drive. Why do I have this pen that doesn't even work? Like, those little annoying things? But I will say, when I was working through that part of it, I was decluttering for much shorter sections at a time because it was very annoying and hard to do that with little kids at my feet, focusing on what is what. So I would say that took the longest of everything, especially because my home was so incredibly cluttered and it's so tedious.

Well, number 10, and we're going to wrap up with that one. Number 10 is. This is so good. Because this goes into maintenance. So I like that we're wrapping it up with that so people know how to continue. It is. I purged as I went about my day. That's so good, girl. That's gold.

Yeah. Well, because at this point of it, you no longer need to have these big purging appointments. Like, I never do that anymore. That was just for the first few months. And so at this point, it was like, just little things left or just kind of watching. Like, the kids would bring home chick fil a toys, and I'd kind of have to, like, recheck in with them. Like, I had learned things. Like, we now have a plastic bin that's just like a medium size. Like the ones you put Christmas decorations in with the teeth lids. Yeah, one of those. And all the kids toys fit in it now. And now that's just kind of the rhythm. Yeah, that's kind of the rhythm that we've fallen into. And so every just so often as I'm going about my day, you know, we have Saturday morning cleanup. Cleanups where everyone helps and deep cleans together and, you know, the baseboards and the tubs and all that boring stuff. And so while we're doing that, I'll just check in. Hey, guys, what is it in here that you're not playing with anymore? What are you over? What do you love? Let's make piles. And they always declutter more. So just kind of like as we're going about our normal day, we live and breathe. What is it that we can simplify? How can we make this even better? And the kids also, I want to say too, they understand that this is why we're doing that. That we get to take awesome trips and have amaz weeks together as a family because we choose to buy experiences over things. So it's not like a secret. Like, oh, we don't want them to know that other people have more toys. You know, it's like, it's about living and breathing it and teaching them in and showing by example.

Oh, that is so beautiful. I love that. Just that living by example. Because a lot of people might think, well, being a minimalist or getting rid of all this, we want to protect our kids and we don't want to have to defend ourselves. But just when you get them on the same plane as you and to show the value of living on purpose and living with intention, you are doing such a good deed for them. You are blessing them immensely. And Allie, this has been such a blessing. Thank you so much.

Thank you for having me. This is great.

Oh, this has been awesome. Now remember, you can go to alicassaza.com and get. She's got tons of freebies, so make sure you check that out. Love her website. And I just want to remind you, when you are get into this thing, like, don't put it off. Ali said, I'm saying too, don't put this off right now is the time you need to take action. Because when you start living with less, when you start living with intention, when you start letting go, living on purpose, you are going to be blessed like crazy.

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