Takeover Tuesday: Carla White

Here's the big how are these average, everyday moms getting radical results in their lives? How are they able to transform their health, money, families, homes, and have fun doing it? The trick. We're not average. I'm Hannah Keeley, and I'm going to spill our secrets and answer your questions. And right now in that mom show. Okay. The power of gratitude. Let's talk about that. And I'm not the one who's going to be talking about it. I've got a special guest with me today. You are going to love this woman. All right, I've got Carla White with me. She's amazing. I don't even know how we really got connected. I think the stars were just aligned and God said, hey, you two people need to get to know each other. And Carla is the first woman to ever launch an iPhone app. And it's the gratitude app, which is what we're going to be talking about today. She's also a success coach, and one thing I love about her, she grew up on a cattle farm, right?

Happiness. Cattle prod. Yep.

I love it. I love it. You just go zap everyone to their promised land. Get them in there.

Absolutely. Get them in the right direction. You bet.

All right, so, Carla, I want to, like, I love giving moms, like, practical stuff that they can use, like, immediately. And what I want them to understand that gratitude, and I think you and I would both agree to this. Gratitude is not just this feel good emotion. It's like a tool that you can use. I call gratitude the energy of abundance, because it's like this tool that God gives you to use to create the life that he wants you to live. And it's real, it's tangible. It's not just this woo woo emotion, you know?

Yeah. And I even got chills when you called it energy of abundance, because that's so true. Like. Well, let's back up a little bit.

When I first had back up the bus. Let's just get the groundwork here.

Right. So when I first discovered gratitude and kept a gratitude journal and made the app back in 2008. So a long time ago, I had to explain what an app was and what a gratitude journal was. Now today, everybody knows what apps are. Gratitude has become quite a trendy kind of thing, yet I think it's still misunderstood. It was incredibly not even spoken about back then, but it's spoken about now. But misunderstood. Exactly what it is. I think it still has this connotation of sending out a thank you card or like the universe or God. It's like Santa Claus. So if you say thank you, you're gonna be on the good list, and then you're gonna get some more. And it's not like that at all.

Yeah, so talk about, like, this. This common misconception with gratitude, because I just. I just think so many people are missing out on something that could empower them in such an amazing way. You know, it's kind of like how we think something's, you know, oh, the batteries are low. So we go everywhere looking for batteries. Don't realize we have a cord right there that we can, like, plug into a source. It's like, quit busting your butt looking for batteries and spending money on batteries. Like, you have a cord. Just plug in. And that's what I feel like gratitude is. And we. I mean, we overlook it. We really do. It's powerful.

It is. So here's a couple of just really basics. First off, you can. Your brain can't be anxious and grateful at the same time. It just can't. It doesn't have a dual processor like that, so. Wow.

You can't serve two masters, right?

Exactly. Exactly. And with, like, if you want to call it two masters, or if you want to look at a quantum physics sort of way, like, with quantum physics, everything is everywhere, nowhere, at the same time. It only appears when you give your energy and attention to it. So with gratitude, with any situation, you can either feed the anxiousness or you can feed the joyous appreciation of that situation, of that moment, of anything. And why, like, some of the so many gratitude practices out there or tools out there are like the 32nd gratitude journal or, you know, like, super quick and easy.

And I have to do gratitude. Make it easy and make it fast.

Right. We get it over with. Another thing I have to do on my to do list, that's the absolute wrong approach. Because why would you say, I only want to ask for abundance. I only want abundance just like, for two seconds a day, one minute a day, max. Just get it done with. Just. So I am practicing what all these successful people practice. It's not about that. Do it all day long, all day, and be. I want to say greedy, but greedy has a negative connotation to it. But don't limit what the universe wants to give you anyway.

Right, Right, right. That's so true. And I think when we, you know, I mean, I'm a mom and everything I do, I kind of liken it to motherhood. And the way I feel about it, Carla, is like, if my. My kids okay, I'LL give you a perfect example. So recently, I told them they could get some clothes for school, like, before start if they cleaned out all their closets. If they got their room clean, I would get them some clothes. They did it. They cleaned up their room. And now they're like, instead of, I really want some clothes, Mom. They're like, mom, thank you so much that you're gonna give me some clothes. I'm so excited. I'm picking them out. Okay, so which one is gonna make me respond faster than mom, you told me you were gonna buy me clothes. I need clothes, or the mom, you're so awesome, like, thank you that you're gonna buy me clothes? I'm like, let's do online shopping right now. And that's the way I feel like God is. He wants to give us everything. It says all good things come from him, and he wants to bless us. And if we're just like, nothing's ever enough. I just feel like God is sometimes like, girl, just, no, that is not where you need to be. But if we stay, stay in that place of gratitude, then the doors always remain open from the storehouse. Like, he's always able to give us all good things because we already have the energy to expect it. Like, when we're worried, when we have anxiety, we shut the door to it. That very thing that we're worried about. We shut the door, but it will never have it.

Yeah. Because you can't find the solutions in the space of negativity. They are there in that power, positive space. And I'm not talking about, like, going around Pollyanda with the. Your head in the ground like an ostrich and ignoring things.

Right.

How about what if this. What if looking at that negativity, what if watching the news or putting your energy towards the negativity is actually putting your head in the ground? What if it is, like, shutting you off from all that's possible? So another way to think about it is you can rewire your brain. It is scientifically proven. So from a very early age, we don't. We aren't focused on lack. It's something that is taught to us over and over again. And in fact, the top three industries want us to focus on lack, and that is arms, pharmaceuticals, and alcohol, and tobacco. These three industries are built on lack and destruction and not enough fear. Mm. And said to us over and over again. Yeah. So even though, you know, we're waking up, we're starting to have a spiritual awakening. We are eating better, we're going to yoga we're taking care of our health. Yet pharmaceuticals is growing at 6% a year. And eight of the top 10 prescribed drugs are for stress related illnesses. So what's happening is that our body is in a fight or flight mode most of the day. It's got this cortisol going through it most of the day. Now, what if you just interrupted that constantly with gratitude? What happens now? Unfortunately, cortisol is extremely addictive. It is a good chemical to go through your body if you are actually being attacked. So to wean yourself off of that, because it is addictive. So much so that your habitual brain, your subconscious will try to find things for you to have that cortisone spike. It will look for it. So if you aren't finding it, it will look for it because it feels like that cortisol spike is keeping you alive.

Right, right. And so if we didn't have a problem, we would create a problem.

Exactly.

I know people who, if they don't have anything to worry about, they have to invent something to worry about because now they're worried that they don't have anything to worry about. Yes.

The other shoe is going to drop.

Yes, yes, absolutely.

Mm.

But we work, we do this to ourselves. We do all this to ourselves. And it's also a matter of perspective because you think that if I just had this circumstance, if I just had this money, this relationship, this type of house, then I'll be fine. That's never the case because it's always going to be internally driven. So if you did reach that, there would be another target because you haven't solved what's going on inside. And that is exactly what you said. That fear and that lack that drives you. And so when I think about gratitude, I think it's kind of like slamming the brakes on that stress and moving in the opposite direction. And now you're moving into abundance. You're moving into. You know, God says in proverbs that the blessing of the Lord makes rich rich. And he adds no toil to it. Like that stress, like that's not how we're supposed to be living. That toil, that stress on our body. Just like you were talking about our bodies and our brains. Because our bodies and our brains are not designed for long term stress like that.

And nobody teaches us this in schools. Like this isn't something grow up learning.

How many times did you use pre algebra last week, Carla? Just wondering, how many times, how many times did you use algebra? And then how many times did you work with your thoughts to try to get them in a positive place.

Right?

Oh, I don't know.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. So you're absolutely right. This has to come from a place of habit, like, all the time. This is a habit. Now, I'm not talking about strapping a notebook around your neck and writing down everything that's good in your life every minute that it happens. But, like, starting out your day with huge appreciation can drastically shift the energy of your day. And same with ending your day. So just like a bookends, you know, like, what do you want the. You know, like, you can write the pages in your book, but what do you want the COVID to look like? And that's what gratitude is. How do you want the front of you to look? And how do you want the back of it to look? And if you aren't having. If you don't have a gratitude practice today, I always recommend, like, just. It's like a rubber band pulling back and just let yourself fly with it.

Yeah.

I recommend at least writing down at least eight things a day. A lot of other practices, say, three other practices say, just recap it in your mind. You know, that's better than zero. But if you can actually write it down and go deep, go deeper into the layers, because then you're really discovering new levels of what you are capable of achieving.

Right.

Right.

So good. Now, what I'm hearing from moms, and I can hear them, they're listening to this podcast and they're thinking, carla, Hannah, that's awesome. That's so good. But I need real help. Like, you don't understand. Like, I want to kick my husband out of my bedroom. I don't know how I'm gonna afford groceries and up. Because I've been there. Like, I know. Not with the husband thing, with the money thing. I am struggling with my kids. My kids don't obey me. I've got one who's rebelling against the family. I've got, like, I've got real problems. Like, keep your gratitude. That's awesome. It works for you. But I need real solutions. Like, I can hear it right now.

Yeah.

Because I remember thinking, I just need more money. I just need a bigger house. I just need someone to help me get organized. I just need to lose 30 pounds. Like, I remember thinking that, like, that won't help me. I just need. I just need to get this weight off. And it wasn't until I learned to switch that access, this power that I was able to get out of debt and make money. And I was able to get in shape and lose weight. And I was able to organize my home. So what I want moms who are listening to this. I want. Cool concept, right? This is a real strategy. Like, talk about the reality and the impact of this strategy and what it can do in a life.

Yeah. So a lot of us, well, everything we do is defined by the stories we tell ourselves, the identity we have in those stories. Who am I? What am I? What am I capable of? What am I worthy of? And so many people out there can accept criticism so much better than they can accept a compliment. When it comes to criticism, they'll be like, yeah, bring it on. But when it comes to a compliment, they like, yeah, but, you know, this old thing, I don't know. And if that sounds like you, and you imagine in your mind how many times you're criticizing yourself instead of complimenting yourself. And so where are you putting that energy into and what are you focusing on? And so what this does is all that stress, all that craziness that goes on in your head again, you can't have that in your head if you have this focus on, yeah, I am nailing this. I got this. I am doing great. I mean, I am sure when you were going through those troubles and same with me, I went through the exact same thing. I was like, broke, I was overweight. I was like pushing almost 200 pounds. I had insomnia, I had ulcers. I ended up in the hospital. Double pneumonia. I mean, girl, I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah. I was wreck. And there was a time when we were driving down the interstate going pretty fast, and I just was looking out the window going, all I have to do is open up this car door and that's it. Ok. Now here's what happened. I ended up in the hospital. Double pneumonia. The doctor says, here's something for your pneumonia. Here's something for your depression. And never before has anybody labeled it as depression. Nobody even knew it because I kept joking, I kept smiling, I kept being part of the crowd. I hid it very well. So I went home. Yeah, and I went home. And that's the first time I heard about writing things down in a journal. So I started keeping a gratitude journal. Like just, okay, this is what's good that happened that day. Although at the time, I was in a downward spiral of something bad's gonna happen. Because prior to all that, my dad had suddenly passed away. So I was extreme alert for the next shoe to drop. Something bad is going to happen. And so I interrupted it. I kept a gratitude Journal. I am about two months into keeping this gratitude journal out for a walk, recapping what I could put in the journal that night. Like, oh, I lost weight. I am sleeping better. I got some job offers. I am doing really good. And then it hit me. What did I do? Just two months ago, I was in the hospital now, feeling good. Like, I feel really good about my life. And when it connected that it was a gratitude journal, and I tell you, it was too. It took me two months to realize that, but I was receiving the rewards from keeping that journal way faster than that. So how it works is if you take a penny and you put it in a jar today, and every day, you double that penny. So day one, it's a penny. Day two, it's two, then four, then eight. Right. By day 18, you don't have a lot of money in the jar, and you're kind of about ready to give up. It's like a few hundred bucks, and you're like, okay, this is a joke. But all of a sudden, that doubling and doubling and doubling compounds. This is compound interest compounds. And by day 31, you have over $3 million in that job. Wow.

Yes. Cool.

So when you start these new habits, like, a couple weeks into it, you might be like, okay. She said her whole life changed. I'm still, like, scrounging for a quarter under my sofa. Yeah, it's push on through and keep going.

What I like to say is, trust the process. Yes, it works. It works. You just have to trust the process. And that's the thing that the Bible says, that the kingdom of God works by sowing and reaping. And so we can't sow gratitude and come out the next day and say, why don't I have a harvest? I said, thank you, like, six hours ago. Why don't I have a harvest? Like, we would never go through, plant a sunflower seed and, like, look at it an hour later. We're like, well, that's not working, and throw it out. We give it time. It works by sowing and reaping. So you sow and then it grows. And that's the part that we don't have to worry about. We just get the gratitude in the ground. We just sow it. And then all of a sudden, you're out there one day, and you're like, just, like, you, like, going for a walk. Two months later, you are like, oh, my gosh. Like, I feel really good. Like, I've got energy, I've got joy. I'm sleeping better. And that's the harvest. And the harvest will come if we don't lose hope and abandon the gratitude and go for the next solution. We've got to work the process, because the process always works by sowing and reaping.

Yes. And it's that energy. If you're giving your energy and trying to chase two different rabbits in two different directions, you're saying, thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh, but my husband got the toilet seat up. He said this to me. He didn't even acknowledge my new dress or whatever. You know, like, those things hurt.

It's true.

And again, I'm not saying not to feel that pain, but then also, like, but is there something that you can be grateful for? So, like, for example, one of my customers, she was going through an estrangement with her husband. He was a pilot. He just didn't speak to her for weeks. They were having a very rough patch in their marriage. And so I said, what I want you to do is to go home and write as many things that you're grateful for for him in your life. Not to get a noose around his neck, but just to shift that energy in your relationship, all those things that you're grateful for. And so she wrote out, like, 500. Then she wrote out another 500.

Wow, wow, wow.

And they ended up splitting. But now they're really good friends. Now, could you imagine, like, somebody not talking to you, your husband, how angry and like. And you have to go through all those emotions to even get to a friendship which may come 10 years down the road. But, yeah, she was able to get to that right away.

Yeah, you can't. I was speaking the other day for a group of women, and one of the moms was like, we were talking about things that we have to do that we never feel like doing that's hard for us to get to do. She said, mopping my floors. I hate my kitchen floors. And I said, would you rather have dirt floors? And she's like, no, no, no. I'm like, but you hate your kitchen floors. Like, wouldn't you rather have dirt floors? No, I wouldn't. Oh, so you're telling me that those floors actually serve you right?

Yeah.

And so she was, okay, yeah, you're right, you're right. Like, she didn't realize that the energy she was putting toward that task was making her push it away. And it was creating all this drama, which we don't need the drama. We can just see it for what it is and add the gratitude to it. And all of a sudden, Our life becomes so much easier when we take all the negative drama out of it and we can add the gratitude. It works and we can't. And if we, like, like you said, if we put out the gratitude and then put out the negativity, it's like we plant the seed and then we dig it back up.

Yes.

Like we're not allowing it to grow.

Yes. And it's all about perspective. Like you said. Is it a. Is it a dirty. Like, is it a bad floor? Or like, is it like, holy cow, this is really awesome because again, we from a very young age are programmed what that we should compare ourselves to some sort of standard. So there's a book called Winning the Story wars, which is all about marketing and stories and marketing. And way back in World War I, when the second industrial revolution came about, and so we had our first one and we had World War I and we needed all those supplies. But then after World War I, we had all these supplies on the shelves, all the goods on the shelves, because, you know, our great great grandparents, they loved making their own soup. They had the same soup for years because it just held up. You know, they pride themselves on their family bread recipe. And so they weren't buying all this stuff in the shops. So what the government did is they went to marketers and they said, let's redefine what it means to be American. And American was like driving a Cadillac, having that white picket fence, you know, happiness in the bottom of a Coke bottle, all these things buying stuff was where you found happiness in America. And what they discovered was that the happiness just didn't go up. It plateaued and then it went down. I mean, we're more drugged up now than ever for stress related illnesses because we love to create. We love creating. We like to define ourselves. It's not this instant gratification that we were trained to believe. We don't need to compare ourselves to the Joneses. That's not, you know, like, when you tap into your individuality, the, you know, the uniqueness that God made you because God does not make any mistakes. Not a mistake. And your life isn't a mistake, and your journey isn't a mistake. It's just understanding that we are taught from a very young age to compare ourselves to others and that we will find happiness in purchasing stuff.

Yeah, it's true. That's so true. And one tactic that I often help my clients with is, for example, if they hate their body, I'm like, if you were the only person on this earth, no one else was here. How would you feel about your body? Like, the only reason we develop this negativity is that we're looking around and seeing how valid is our discontent. And we'll always find what we're looking for. Always?

Always. Yes.

Whether you're looking for the negative or the positive, you will always find it. Your brain will just gravitate to that thing that you're focused on. So focus on gratitude and watch more come into your life. It's really not that hard.

Well, and be really picky. Be really picky. Be a snob about your mind and your heart and what you're letting go. That's good, because, like, imagine it like that white, pristine, beautiful carpet, you know? And then all of a sudden, you watch the news and that's somebody trudging their mud and their dirt from the farm all the way through your white trudge. Then it's up to you to go through and clean that all up. It's not up to anybody else. It's not up to your husband, your kids, or anybody. That's your cause. You let that mud in, you got to clean it up.

That is so good. Proverbs says, above all else, go guard your heart. For out of it flows all the issues of life. So you've got to understand that that inner consciousness, that's what you got to guard. You don't have to. You have to guard that more than your guard your bank, because that is your mental thought account. And whatever you're doing inside of that, that's going to determine your life circumstances. So above everything else, that's why the Bible's so adamant on this guard what goes into your heart, what's going into.

Your mind, your sacred heart. I just. I absolutely love those photos of Jesus standing there with the energy coming out of his heart, because that's where it's coming from. You know, they say your thoughts make your life, but really it starts in the heart. And that's what's driving every. That's what's in the driver's seat. Okay? Your subconscious has a large play in it. What are the habits that you keep doing over and over and over again? Right?

And we'll do what we believe and.

Grant yourself grace, because you do what you believe will keep you safe. Your habits, your subconscious will either take you to pleasure or away from pain. And so if something is perceived as scary, we'll stay away from it. You know, if it's uncertain, we stay away from it because we have a story in our head. We have a belief and that story and belief has probably been passed down for generations. And like Chinese whispers, so much of that story is not even true. So you're basically not even true. Yeah.

Brilliant. I feel like we could talk about this forever. What if you're going to tell moms, look, take this one thing away from this podcast interview. What would that one thing be like? Take this one thing away. What would it be?

Start counting your blessings. Start keeping that gratitude journal.

I'm gonna break into a southern gospel song in a minute. Count your blessings. Name them one by one.

Yeah, baby.

Yes.

And think of it like if you're thinking of it, because so many women, especially if you're a mom, you feel guilty for taking that time for yourself. So think of it like this. You're creating a memoir of your life's best moments for your children. And let that be your legacy.

That'll preach, girl. Thank you so much. Okay, so people, now they got a taste of Carla. They got to get some more Carla. Where are they gonna go?

Sure. So if you want to get my gratitude app, it's called my gratitude journal, go to my gratitude journal or the gratitude app, sorry, thegratitudeapp.com that'll take you straight to the download. Or you can go to carlawhite.org and you can find all my offerings and how to contact me there.

Awesome. Carla, thank you so much.

You are absolutely welcome. This is a great conversation. Thank you so much.

We'll keep it going.

We'll keep it going.

Thanks so much.

Bye. Bye.

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