The 7 Princess Wounds: Part 3

What happens when responsibility is just forced upon you as a child before you're really able to hold it? Before you have the capacity to even manage that amount of responsibility? Well, that's what we're talking about today in Mom Master University. That wound of responsibility, how do you heal from it? Stay tuned and you'll find out. Welcome to Mom Mastery University. The education every mom should have had but didn't. I'm Hannah Keeley, America's number one mom coach. And class is now in session. I am so excited you are here inside Mom Mastery University. We are going through the seven princess wounds. Those wounds we get as children that often prevent us from being the queens we were born to be. So we've talked about the wound of abandonment in part one, we talked about the wound of betrayal. Part two. Now it's part three, we're talking about that wound of responsibility. Maybe as a child, you were forced to carry out responsibilities that were way beyond your capabilities, but somehow you had to hold it together. Well, that's what we're going to talk about. Because that wounded responsibility. If we don't deal with that, if we don't heal from that, well, we're going to suffer the consequences for the rest of our life. That is not you, Master Mom. You are here for it. The healing. So let's go ahead, sit back, because it's story time. Once upon a time, there was a princess. She grew up to honor her family and serve her kingdom. When she was a young girl, enemies came and attacked her kingdom and forced the people she loved to go to war. Because of the law of the land, a warrior was required from every household to come fight against the enemies. But alas, she was the only child, a daughter. And her father had been injured and was declining in his strength every single day. The morning before her father was going off to war, the young princess got up, disguised herself as a male warrior, and joined the troops to represent her family in order to save the life of her father and uphold the kingdom law. Would she survive the battle? Would she ever be able to return home again? Well, that's what we're gonna find out. Because guess what, Princess, you don't have to hold that wound of responsibility any longer. Now, just like we've done in every single part in this entire series, the Seven Princess Wounds, we're gonna go through a seven part process of how to heal from that wound. And guess what? I want you to go ahead. Before we even get started, I want you to decide that this is going to be easy. I know Sometimes, like especially in the, in the mental health world and in the personal development world, we're taught that it's hard work, right? We're taught that you got to really put in all this effort and the whole, your whole life is, is a healing journey. Well, maybe not, because that's not what the Bible says. The Bible says that, well, his yoke, talking about Jesus, his yoke is easy, his burden is light. If Jesus says that his yoke is easy and his burden is light, then maybe we are making something harder and heavier than it really is. So we're going to go ahead and operate in the belief that healing is not only easy, but healing is simple and healing is accessible. All I have to do is step in and follow the plan and that's what we're going to do. Today we are doing a seven part process, just like we've done in every single wound, about how to heal from that. Because that wound is not there for you to nurse the rest of your life or for you to blame the rest of your life. It's there to show you where to begin the process of now leveraging that pain you had to go through to get every goodness that lies in it. Because I believe, just like Romans 8, 28, that all things work together for good. Because we love God, we're called, according to his purpose. And so even the bad things, right, even the things that the enemy chose to try to take us out, really, they're there to move us forward. And if we let that happen now, you can be trapped by it for the rest of your life, or you can allow that, that wound to now become some of the strongest tissue in your body. Like think about it, that that wound, that scar tissue, it's stronger, right, than regular flesh. So it actually helps you become stronger. That tissue is stronger. And, and in that strength is its beauty. So you're designed to be a queen, and queens are strong, powerful women. You can't be strong without a little bit of pain, right? Because pain is what we grow through. Pain is a motivator. Doesn't mean you have to suffer. But none of us are going to live a life that's free of pain, but we can live a life free of suffering because of what Jesus took to the cross for us. So we're going to dive deep into this wound of responsibility because there's a chance many of you are listening or watching. Maybe you were thrust into a situation where you had to handle more responsibility that was not suited to your age and your skill level. I know a Lot of people have to become the parent to their parent. Like think about it, especially if you're, if you're one of your parents had any type of mental illness or maybe an addiction, or maybe a physical illness, in a lot of ways you as a child have had to perform certain duties and fill certain responsibilities that you weren't equipped to do. Okay, but, but it's not to hold resentment and it's not to hold pain. It's now we're going to use that to move forward. So just like FA Mulan, right? If you remember that story of F. Mulan, she had to disguise herself as a male warrior to take the position of her father who was supposed to go to war. So a lot of times out of the love, the loyalty and dedication that we have as people, we will step up to, you know, step up to bat when someone we love can't. Okay, now how does this show up in your life? How do you heal from it? That's what we're going to dive into. So remember, this is seven part process and just a reminder, we do this in real time together in the extended version of this Inside Mom Master University. So if you're not inside Mom Master University, whatever's on your to do list, I want you to put at the top of it. Number one, enroll in Mom Master University because that's where we get the work done. When you choose elite level, that's where you get a one on one coach to actually work with you. And I coach with you live every single Monday. So if you have not done that yet, do that now. Okay, so let's dive into this. Step number one, of course, if you remember from part one and part two, step number one in the healing journey is to come get full awareness, full awareness of the experience you went through and the exposure that you had in your childhood. For example, sometimes it's not always that we personally go through something. A lot of times we carry wounds that just because we were exposed to a certain way of thinking, to certain behaviors, like maybe it's not that you were. Let's just take the situation of abuse, maybe it's not that you were abused, but you witnessed abuse in your family. So we have to, we have experience and we have exposure. So I want you to think about this. Maybe you know, with this wound of responsibility, if you carry this wound, chances are you are forced to hold responsibility that was disproportionate to your capacity. Maybe as a child you had to do certain things, carry, carry a load that you were not fitted for you weren't really, you know, old enough or smart enough or, or had the capacity to take that on. Maybe you had to be the parent to care for your father or mother. Maybe you had to hold the majority of the responsibility. If you were like, maybe oldest child and had to care for younger, you know, your younger siblings, maybe you had to carry that load. Maybe you were in a single parent household and had to fill that other role for your parent. You had to fill, you know, do more of the male duties or do more of the female duties, your home. Or maybe it was that, you know, both parents were kind of too busy. Maybe their, their schedules are crazy. Maybe they weren't available to you as a child and you had multiple siblings, so you kind of had to fill that parent role for your siblings. So a whole myriad of situations, you know, where this could happen. It could be that there was a loss of a parent or maybe a parent was, was deployed, and all of a sudden you had to fill that role. So you can think about the, the experience and exposure and see where this showed up in your life. So you weren't able to be really childlike in your decision, so you kind of had to grow up a little bit earlier. Right. Sometimes you may think, I just grew up too fast, too soon, because the responsibility you had to hold with this wound. So think about it. Mulan took the place of her father. She carried that burden of filling her father's shoes, going to war, fighting for her country, fighting for her family. She wasn't trained for it, she wasn't prepared for it, but out of her sense of obligation, she filled that role. So maybe out of your sense of obligation, you filled that role, and now it's kind of like you're carrying, you know, some of the, some of the effects of that are showing up in your life in certain ways. So let's look at that. Let's look at the core belief that you create as a result of going through and being wounded in this area of responsibility. The core belief you probably hold if you have, if you carry that wound is this. These three words. Ready? I got it. How many times do you say, my dog's stretchy. If you're watching the video, she's getting a good stretch in. So how many times do you say that when you're faced with a challenge, you're faced with a situation, people aren't, aren't coming through, you just say, I got it. I'll take care of it. If it's going to happen, it's up to Me to make it happen. I'm the only one I can depend on. Do you ever see that core belief showing up in your life? Chances are you do if you're, if you have been wounded in this way now. So that's number two. Like figure out that core belief. And now step three is of course the faith formula. If you went through part one and part two, you already know this faith formula. If you've been hanging out with me for longer than five minutes, you probably know this faith formula because it's the root of everything I do. All the coaching inside Mom Master University is based upon this faith formula. Even if you get trained inside Covenant Coach Academy, our life coach training university, that is all based on the faith formula. So let's get this faith formula down. And we know this, that the way you think becomes how you feel. How you feel determines what you do and what you do causes what you have. So it's this. It's this cycle, right? So we have to start always with our thoughts. Even the Bible tells us that above all else, you know proverbs, they were told, above all else, you have to guard your heart, which is your inner being, your subconscious, your core belief. Because out of it flow all the issues of life. So if you're going to change a life issue, don't start with the life issue. Start with your thoughts around the life issue. So let's start with our thought. I want you to get that thought. We know the core belief is probably already the way you're thinking. Excuse me. So let's get that thought. It's all on me. I got it. I'll take care of it. I'm the only one I can depend on. So when you think this, how does that feel in your body? Think about it. Just meditate on it for a minute. I know that sounds counterintuitive because tell you to meditate on something that is not healthy for you. But we have to get awareness around this first. So think about how does that feel in your body? It probably feels a bit heavy now with the wound of responsibility, you often carry around residual grief. What are you grieving? You're grieving the childhood you never got to have. Did you think about that? I hit with some people right there, that hit. That hit hard. There is residual grief that in this, it's subconscious, you don't even really register it, but there's residual grief for you, mourning the childhood you never got to have. And that residual grief carries heaviness like a heavy energy. You might even feel it like in the backs of your eyes. Maybe you have puffy eyes, Maybe your eyes feel heavy sometimes. That's how grief often shows up. Also, you're also mourning that careless nature that you never really got to embody. And. And because you had to carry that responsibility so soon. Also, some other symptoms that show up in your body is chest pain. You often feel pain, like in your heart area, in your chest area, shoulder pain, or this is a big one, shoulder injury. So people who carry this wounded responsibility often have more shoulder injury as well. Also, more issues. If you're a woman, you have more issues with the right side of your body. So carrying pain in the right side of your body, injury in the right side of your body, because that's the masculine side. And so for women, having to carry early amounts of heavy responsibility, that's a very masculine energy. And so that part of your body is kind of spent, it's exhausted, it's damaged because it had to carry that responsibility too soon, too much. So that's why you might say you've had subsequent injuries or illness in the right side of your body. Okay? So think about that. It also seems you're more prone to injury more than other people. It seems like you're more prone to injury. Why? Because Mulan was a warrior, right? When you suffer this wound of responsibility, you become a warrior before you're ready. And that warrior mentality. Think about it. When you go to war, chances are you get injured. And so that's why we have a predisposition to injury, because of the warrior mentality and the warrior identity that we subconsciously hold as a result of this wound of responsibility. I know I'm getting deep, y', all, but this is going to create some transformation, and a lot of people. And I'm excited about it. All right, so when we feel all of this, feel this energy that these thoughts create, what does it make us do? Well, see if this. See if this checklist fits anything in your life. First of all, taking on way too much responsibility, that warrior, right? Just take it to me. I give it to me. I could take it. Like, you take on so much responsibility. You also get angry at people that you feel are not fulfilling their obligation. You kind of have very low tolerance level for people who slack off and don't uphold their responsibilities. Also, you daydream about leaving everything and running away. Like escapism. You spend a lot of time daydreaming about that. You never would, but you daydream about it. Also resentment, subconscious resentment, not really evident toward people who are benefiting from your care, take that and run with it anywhere you want to go. Also, maybe you volunteer yourself a little too much. You overextend yourself a little, you know, too often because you're the one, you know how to handle it, you can take care of it. So you'll just like, if it's not being taken care of, you'll just take it on, you'll take on those responsibilities. Also, if you're a mom, you carry the martyr mom mentality. Now what I mean by that when I say martyr mom mentality, that's that mentality of like, oh, poor me, look at me, I work so hard, no one appreciates me. That kind of martyr mom, you know, I'm talking about. So if you carry this window of responsibility in your mom, it may show up like that. Also over emphasizing how much you do for others, like going down the list, like, I do this, I do this, and no one appreciates it and, and no one's coming through for me and no one's helped me out and I'm doing this, I'm doing this. And kind of you keep this like running tally in your head at all times of everything you're doing. Also rigidity around your methods and your processes. If someone comes in, it's like, oh, well, we can do it this way. Like, no, no, no, no, no. This is how we do it. I've done it this way forever. This is how we're going to keep on doing it. So you might carry some of that also this warrior energy. Now that warrior energy, that's, that's what, that's the feeling. But it's also consuming what you do because you have a nature to attack things that are challenges in front of you because you know you can handle it. Okay, now with all of these things that you do, what do you have as a result? Well, think about it. Projects don't get completed. Why don't projects get completed? Because of the continual rotation of taking on more and more and more. You don't get to complete something before you take on another thing. Also, you have a tendency to build up walls between people because they don't do things quote unquote your way. Also, a lot of people are dependent upon you. Now you may, that may frustrate you and me, you may have this begrudging attitude toward it. However you created it. Now you swear you didn't, but you actually created that because you always were the first to say, I'll take care of it. So you created this dependency in a lot of people. That, that, I mean, you created it, but you can't stand it. That's, that's the, that's the, you know, puzzle of all of this. Like the things we are manifesting are the very things we detest. Right? And it's back to that Job mentality. Job said in the Bible, the very thing I feared has happened, the thing that we most hate the most, we, we resist. We put so much energy toward it that we actually end up creating it. That's how faith works. Faith can work positive, faith can work negative. So we're going to put a positive spin on it today. So also what you may have is your personal needs are not always met. You kind of will overextend yourself to help other people or, or meet demands at a personal price. Like, like you don't take care of yourself enough or often enough. Others always come before you. And yeah, so, so you're always kind of like, it's that self sacrificial mode again. You hate it, but you create it. All right, now let's move on to step number four, which is elegant blaming. This is such a fun part. This is where we start to turn the tide, right? Now that we're aware of the wound and now that we've done the faith formula through it, we're going to elegantly blame it. Because According to Romans 8:28, all things work together for good. So there's got to be good here somewhere, right? We just have to find it. We're gonna find the good right now through elegant blaming. If we blame it for the bad, we also have to blame it for the good. That's how we do things, with elegance. So I want you to think, what did it help me do? What gift? Where's the hidden gift in this wound? And I'll tell you, if you don't already know. It made you into a warrior girl. You're a warrior. You can, you can take on challenges that would send other people running. You can face hard situations that, that other people would, it would turn their stomachs. You're like, nope, I got this. I can take care of it. It's a beautiful, beautiful quality because we're all called to be warriors in God's kingdom. And you have a leg up there. You're already a warrior. You can take on any project and find a way to make it happen, right? You roll up your sleeves, you get the job done. You have that mentality and it has served you so well because you've actually gotten a lot done in your life. Also, you can See very clearly the necessary steps that must happen to go from point A to point B, where some people, like, they just kind of like see the vision and they put the vision out there. You see the vision, but you're also like, okay, in order to execute this, it's going to take 1, 2, 3. You're really good at seeing the pathway to get where you want to go. So awesome. Give that up. Give it up for you. You've done this. Congratulate yourself. That's an amazing thing. Because in every wound, there's also a gift. Discover that gift. Let's meditate on that. Right? It actually did serve you. Now let's move to step five. Essential step in that step is always forgiveness. Just like we can't allow a cut to heal without cleaning, we can't allow full healing to take place in this wounded area of your soul without forgiveness. Forgiveness is the cleanser. Forgiveness is a detox. Forgiveness is, is when you get that scratch and your mama, like, gets a washcloth and soap and cleans it all out. It's so painful. But you know, it has to be done in order for it to heal appropriately, right? So that's what we're going to do, is we're going to allow that forgiveness to happen. And this, everyone remember, forgiveness is not something you do for the other person. It's not something you do for the situation. You're not saying that that situation was okay. It wasn't okay. What you're doing is you're allowing the necessary step of cleansing to release you from carrying the pain. Forgiveness is for you. It's not for them, it's for you. So make the decision to forgive right now and let it go. Now, here's the important thing, and this is what we do. Of course, the extended version, we do more work here. So make sure if you're not inside, Mom Master University, you get inside and do the work. But remember, like, I would write down that date and say I forgave. So even at times when I feel bitter or frustrated about that situation, it's not that I haven't forgiven. It's just that that decision has not made its way through my entire soul yet, right? So. So you have to give it some time. So just like what the next step we're working on is, Step six is the Lie to Truth bridge. Now, a lot of times among believers, among Bible believers, right, we know that the truth of God in his word always can replace a lie from the enemy. We know that. However, why do we know that? But we still Believe lies. And we still let lies determine our thoughts and our behaviors because we haven't realized it is a process. That's why I call it the lie to truth bridge. We need to bridge the gap between the truth of God and the lie that we have believed for decades. Right? We've been, we've been constantly saying, well, I have to, it's all up to me. I have to do it. Like it's not going to get done if I don't do it. And everyone depends upon me. And like lies, lies, lies. You just made them true for you. So the princess always tells the lie because that's the wounded spirit which is staying wounded because they're perpetuating the lie. Now we have to step up. Queen. You are a queen so it's time for you to step up because you're not that little child anymore. You're the queen and now you get to call the shots. So the queen has to look into the truth of God and see what is her truth as a queen that now she can communicate to the princess and let her know, well, sweetheart, that was true and it felt true, but it's not true anymore. Let me tell you what is true. So it's where the queen and the princess have to communicate a little bit. It might be helpful to write a letter even to that wounded princess to let her know that maybe she doesn't have to believe it's all on her anymore. So I'm going to give you a place to start here. The princess lie is if it's going to happen in my life, it's 100% up to me. That's that lie. And it feels heavy. And all the ways we talked about the feeling, what you do as a result, what you have as a result, you don't want that anymore. It's, it's helped you to an extent, but it's not serving you in a way that makes your life abundant and joyful and free. And that's what we're after, is that abundant life. So that's the life. So now the queen steps up and the queen truth is God loves me and he makes it come to pass. So this is now a switch of dependency. When you carry this wound of responsibility, you are very self dependent. You are the, you are very self manufacturing. If it's going to happen, you have to find a way to make it happen. Ultimate dependence on self. The princess is dependent on herself. The queen's like, no, actually I'm going to switch that and I'm going to become dependent upon God. Because I can only carry this so far. And I can only carry this so much God in me is going to do the work. He's going to make it come to pass. I'm going to switch my dependency and I'm going to depend upon God. So the queen's truth is God loves me. He makes it come to pass and I can depend upon Him. He's faithful. He's faithful to fulfill his promises. So we're going to meditate on that queen's promise. And every time the lie from the princess comes up, what do we have to do? We have to remind ourselves of that truth. And we always have to back up a truth that we want to believe, a new core belief with the word of God. So I want to share this with you. This is 1st Peter 5, verse 7. And it says this. I'm reading from the classic amplified version. It says this, casting the whole of your care, all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns once and for all on him. For he cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. Think about it. Remember that daydream we talked about, like, of a carefree life? Like that escapism that's already yours. I remember when my mama, she always tell me whenever I was traveling, she's like, well, Hannah, be careful. And I would always say the same thing. It bothered her every time I would say, no, Mama, I am not going to be full of care because I cast out all my cares at the feet of Jesus. And she's like, hannah, come on, you know what I'm talking about. I'm like, nope, Mama, I'm not going to carry any care. God carries my cares. Jesus carried all my care to the cross. I'm not going to take any in my life. So this is where you have to camp out. That daydream of that carefree life is your reality, if you choose to make it your reality, because God is faithful. We need to switch over our dependence, dependence on God instead of ourselves. As we do that again, we start to cross that bridge over into the truth. So be patient and compassionate with yourself as you do this. Okay, now step seven, and this is our last step, and this is the doozy, is we now put the new faith formula into place. So what does that look like? Well, we always start right with the thought. What we think becomes how we feel. What we feel determines what we do, and what we do creates what we have. So we're always going to start with a thought. So I want you to think, what is my new belief that I want to develop, and that probably is what the Queen's truth is. So you can keep on saying, I got this because it's a pattern that you've developed, but I want you to change it up a little bit. How about if you say, I got this, like you're good at it. So I don't want you to try to stick. Stop saying that altogether because that would be so hard for you. You have a pattern of doing that. So it's actually very like, that's that warrior in you saying, I got this. But I want you to attach something else to it. I want you to say, I got this because of God's power in me. That's all you have to do. We're just going to add a little phrase to it. I got this because of God's power at work in me and through me. So that's how we're going to change it. It's still you being the warrior, but it's now your dependency is no longer self, but God. God's power in you. You can also say, I'm cared for. It always works out for me. I can let this go. God fights my battles. God watches my back. But we're going to camp out in those new thoughts. Okay? Now, if you think that you know where I'm going with this, how's it going to make you feel? Well, think about it. Have you ever heard that warrior pose? You know, where your. Where your feet are kind of shoulder width apart, your. Your hands are on your hips, your chin's up, your shoulders back, you're standing strong. That warrior pose, that's you, sweetheart. How does that feel? When you say, like, I got this because of God's power at work in me and through me. How does that feel? Well, it probably feels, you know, more grounded, loose, or not so tight. Think about it. The. The. The true warrior's power is not in his sword, but it's in his stance. Did you catch that? A true warrior's power is not in his sword. It's in her stance. It's how you're standing. You're grounded and rooted in what, self dependency? No, you're grounded and rooted in the love of God, in the power of God. That's where that strength comes from. So that's that way. That way you can feel, like, plugged into the power of God. Now what does that make you do? Well, you're not going to take on every single thing that gets in your radar. You're going to be like, you know what? I can let that go. I don't have to take care of it. I can let other people take care of it. You may be able to delegate a little bit more. You can allow other people. This is a big one. To face hardship. How did you become such a great warrior? You had to go through pain. Now, why would you prevent the people that you love the most from going through the very pain that could build up their character? I know that's a hard one, but I want you to really meditate on that. Because the pain that when you step in and help people avoid pain, it could be you're also helping them, actually causing them to not step into their power, to not be fully developed, to not rise up and into everything that God designed for them to be. Because sometimes it takes pain. Can you allow people to feel pain when you're grounded and rooted and you can trust God? Yes, you can. You don't have to alleviate every person of every potential pain. You can be present now. Instead of scanning the horizon to see what the upcoming battle is, you can just be present. Even a warrior needs to take a break, needs to take a breather. Okay, you can be present now. When you do that, how is it gonna. What are you gonna have in your life as you start to do more of these things, you're letting the responsibilities lighten up a little bit. You allow other people to feel some pain. You allow yourself to be more grounded, rooted, and trusting in God. It's actually going to show up in a more carefree life. That carefree life that you want, that you daydream about, it's yours. You can have that carefree life more joyous, available to you. Also, people now, instead of showing up and you're, like, seeing everything wrong and what they're doing now, they can just delight you by how they show up. You're not holding a. A criteria over the people that you love. You're not saying, well, you need to perform this way. You need to show up this way. Now you can be lighter in how you manage them so there's more intimacy and more connectivity with your children, with your husband, with the people you love and your family, your friends and everyone. You can start to celebrate these people instead of holding them to the fire to make sure they're performing for you. Your task list gets smaller, Your heart gets bigger. This is a win, win situation, sister. And now the Queen's crowning glory. This is how we wrap up these seven steps. How we wrap up the faith formula is with the cre. The Queen's crowning glory. It's that statement that really embodies the healed whole Queen. And I want to share this with you. Okay, it's story time again. Drop your sword. Princess, you don't have to fight this battle alone any longer. You have proven your strength, your stamina, and your strategies. Now it's time to take off your helmet and put on your crown. Take off your armor and put on his. Breathe it in. It's not all up to you any longer. You fought hard, but now God is stepping in to fight and win all your battles. He goes before you. He backs you up. And nothing would make him happier than to see his daughter embrace and enjoy a carefree life. Only then will you become the queen you are destined to be and live happily ever after. Now remember, if you're inside Mom Master University, go into our university and do the extended work. Get your workbook. It's available to every single Master mom who is inside Mom Master University. And make sure you do the extended work. Play the video. Let's do the work together so that we really make this healing happen. I'll see you inside Mom Master University. So what about you, Mama? Are you ready to enroll in the only school that will not only change your your life, but also your legacy? Go to Mom Mastery University, where we dive deep into the biblical principles that give ordinary moms extraordinary results. Get enrolled today.