The 7 Princess Wounds: Part 5

So wouldn't it be nice if you could just have it all? If everything were easy, if we just wish for something and it was right there, wouldn't it be great? Well, actually, that's a wound, and it's a wound that we don't talk much about because it's called the wound of indulgence. It's also nicknamed the golden wound. You never had to work for anything. Everything's just given to you. It's almost like this entitlement. And you don't even realize you have a wound until you get down the road and you find it so hard to move forward. You know, there was an Arabian princess that had that same wound, and it could have held her back from flying on a magic carpet. So make sure you tune in and check out what we're doing right now inside Mom Mastery University. Those seven princess wounds we're talking about. Wound of indulgence. Welcome to MOM Mastery University. Education every mom should have had, but didn't. I'm Hannah Keeley, America's number one mom coach, and class is now in session. Yeah, it's hard to think about a wound of indulgence. You think about wounds as being something very painful. You had to go through some crisis, some trauma. Right. And it left this, like, scar in you, and it's so hard to get past it. We don't think about the wound of indulgence, nicknamed the golden wound. Right. Where you never really had to do anything. You had everything given to you. Like, you are catered to, you're very entitled, and it seems like wonderful life. Right? Yeah. Don't we all want to be born with a silver spoon in our mouth? But what happens down the road can potentially be tragic. So there was an Arabian princess that went through this wound. Check it out. It's story time. Once upon a time, there was a princess. She was the cherished daughter of a great and mighty sultan. He had reign of the land and a castle full of treasures. But the greatest treasure of all was his precious daughter, the princess. He showered her with gifts and made sure that everyone in the kingdom served her to their full extent. But alas, the princess stayed safe, but never got to find out how strong and powerful she actually was. She stayed in the castle, but never got to explore the world. Will she ever fly away? You know, we see this in Aladdin. If you've ever seen that movie, there's Jasmine, the Arabian princess. But actually, this had its root. Aladdin is really an old, old story that has its roots in the story of Aladdin. That was in the Arabian Nights, like long, long time ago, right? Also called 1001 Nights. Now, I'm gonna try to see this name, so bear with me. Okay, the story of Aladdin. There was a sultan, right? And there's also a princess. Now, originally, I can see why she was named Jasmine in the movie, because her real name is Bad Ruler. Bad, Bad Drudelbador. Does that bedroom bedrab Ador. We'll just call her baddie. Okay, she was a baddie, but she was a sultan's daughter. And she also the whole story in Aladdin, where she was trying to be married to the vizier's son and, and all this, but she finally ended up with her true love, Aladdin. But there was a wound there. And she was so princess baddie. She was so protected. She had everything she wanted. She. She would snap her fingers and it was there. And out of that, she learned to be reliant on all of those sources, on all of those resources, on all of those things, right? All of the help in order to make a move forward. Now, what happens when it's not available? Well, you learn to stay stuck. Because in all of that, in all of the indulgence when you're given everything, do you ever have to really know how strong you are? No. You don't ever have an opportunity to feel pain. So it was funny. My daughter and I were texting each other the other day and I sent her this video of this little girl. She was all dressed up for a theme day of school, but she was terrified to get out of the car because she didn't see anyone else dressed up. And she's like, I don't want to get out. I don't want to get out. She likes. It was like, like hundred year old days. So she was dressed like a grandma with the big curlers in her hair and the robe and a cane and all that, and she didn't want to get out of the car. And I said to my daughter, because there were so many times that there were theme days at, you know, their, their homeschool co op or their Bible classes or something, or their church groups, and we would go all out as soon as we pulled out. She's like, all of a sudden she was afraid, right? And she said, oh, my gosh, trauma. When she, when she. I sent her that video, she said trauma. And I just sent her back. Like, it builds character. She's like, absolutely. But that idea of like, this is scary, this is painful, this is hard. And, and the moms are like, yeah, it builds character. Let's move forward. But what about if you don't have an opportunity to build character? What if you don't have an opportunity to exercise those muscles and that you have of confidence? Like, you can't ever experience confidence if you don't have opportunities to feel not confident and move forward. Because confidence is just a muscle that you build up when you don't feel confident and you still move forward. So what do you do? It's like this wound of indulgence. Everything is given to you and, and all of the experience and exposure is. You have allowance in all areas. You, you're kind of entitled. You don't have to push yourself as hard. So understand pain with step number one, the understanding of the experience and exposure. Pain is never something we would choose, ever. And so when they don't, when children are not required to experience pain, they're allowed to bypass discomfort. And if you bypass discomfort, you'll learn that maybe I'm not as strong as I think I am. So when you don't have to experience pain or you don't have to do anything scary, sometimes you're void of the consequences that may turn out not favorable. So think about, have you ever experienced something that was hard and painful and the consequences sometimes good and sometimes bad, but you had to learn through those bad consequences how to do it a different way. So failure, actually, failure is not a real thing at all. Failure is imaginary. The only failure is actually when you stop because you're supposed to learn by getting things wrong, by experiencing disappointment and going back and doing it a different way. That's how everything is learned. Think about it. How does a baby walk? They fall down, right? And how did, how did I learn how to build a business? I failed at several. And so you have to, like, be able to experience when things don't go your way to understand how to develop resilience, confidence, strength, so you can move forward. So let's move on. When you have this experience of exposure, let's move on to step number two, which is defining that core belief that it leaves you with. Now, again, if you don't have to experience discomfort and pain and learn how to flex those muscles, you never know how strong you are. So the core belief becomes I'm weak. So when you. This wound of indulgence, the princess baddie wound, right, the jasmine wound, is that feeling of, I'm weak. Now, how does this, how does this show up in our life, right? You don't want to feel pain in which, which you might Think I'm too weak to. To do this on my own. I need help. I need someone else to come through. I'm missing a resource. I'm relying on something or. Or a solution. Because it can't just be me. I'm not strong enough. You think this isn't fair? You think what fair is, is how it relates to you. Not as. Not as a world judgment affair, but just fair as it relates to you because you become very me centered. Now, it seems like me centered is very prideful. Like, look at. Look at me, right? But sometimes it show up. It shows up like, I'm so weak, I can't do this. That's still pride. It's just pride inverted. It's not pride. And all the wonderful qualities about you is pride on, I'm too weak. Let me focus on me and pull away and look at all the things that are necessary in order that I don't have available in order to move forward. So what does this look like when we're talking about the faith formula? This leads us to step number three, which is the faith formula, and what is the thought? Now, if you're new here with the faith formula and you're like, what is this? What we're talking about is that method of transforming our mind so that we can now move on to a more abundant life. This is what Romans 12:2 says, don't conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our mind so we can test and prove what God's will is. His good, pleasing, perfect will. Now, when you think this thought of, I'm weak, how does it feel? Well, first of all, weak can feel very exhausting. Okay. A lot of times when you have this wound of adults, you do feel it just exhausted by life because you're always looking for someone or something to come to your aid. You can't. You have a very hard time doing things by yourself. You always need, like, you're missing some resource. So you start googling, like, what do I need to do? Or what do I need to buy? Or what do. Who do I need to. To make sure I have on my team or whatever that is that I need to. That I'm missing here because I'm too weak to do it myself. I need to have more things available to me. So it also feels anxious and tight because when you're faced with a challenge and you know that it's up to you to move forward into that challenge, but you feel like you're weak, it can be very anxiety provoking. So a lot of times with this wound of indulgence, you do have anxiety, you become very rigid and inflexible. No, it's got to happen this way. And I need everything to go perfectly. And it's like, it's got to be like top tier and then I'm too weak to do it myself. So you're kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place, right? It's very tense sometimes. You'll notice you have a very tight jaw, you feel tension, there's tension headaches. Also. You can be so scared to move forward and that could result in constipation. Like things like, think about it, you feel frozen, you feel rigid, you're like, I know I want to do this, but I don't think I'm enough to do it. I think I'm too weak to do it. Because all throughout your life you've been supplied with the right people, the right things, the right opportunities and kind of cater to. So it doesn't help you flex those muscles of resiliency, those muscles of confidence, those muscles of flexibility, those muscles of innovation. You haven't had any opportunity to, to really flex those and grow those muscles. So of course it feels like an internal weakness. Now what do we do as a result of this? Well, think about this. Does any of this feel like, does any of this seem to show up in your life? If you've had this wound of indulgence, it's hard to move forward. The path may not be apparent and you want the perfect path and you can't find that perfect path. So you kind of stay frozen, right? You have free floating anger, you're angry and you're not really sure why. Like I don't. And someone can say like, what is wrong with you? You're like, honestly, I have no idea. I'm just like, oh, I'm so frustrated. You get very self absorbed. You're focusing on everything you lack or everything that's not right or everything that, like you're constantly thinking of your resources that are available and what you have or what you don't have. It's very self absorbed. Not necessarily an external focus, it's more of an internal focus. You have a very hard time handling frustration because you haven't again had to handle frustration. So when you're indulged, you get frustrated. Something is fixed like that, right? You don't have to be resilient. So you have a very hard time with frustration. And it kind of like sometimes can develop into rage if you don't Know how to manage frustration. It will, like, explode, Right. Often you can have panic attacks. You feel overwhelmed. It's hard for you to complete tasks. And delayed gratification for a person with this wound of indulgence is very hard. It's almost impossible because everything has been so easy to obtain that when you know there's a time element, you know, you have to, like, go all the way from A to Z. Right? When you know it's going to take time to pay off that debt, or take time to launch that, or take time to get that opportunity, or it's very hard for you to have delayed gratification. You want it right now. And you also have difficulty with urge tolerance. Urge tolerances. You have an urge for something and you just kind of tolerate. All right, I don't have to indulge this urge. I just kind of feel it. Right? But for people with the wound of indulgence, they haven't had to tolerate urges. Think about it. You have an urge and you just, like, get it. You haven't had to have an urge and hold it so very hard time tolerating urges. We could be like, I have, you know, a craving for food or an urge to, like, yell at this person, or I want to buy this thing. It's very hard to tolerate those urges. You want it right away. Now, when this happens and when we. When we do these things, what do we have as a result? Let's wrap up the faith formula. Well, we have goals. Someone who has the wound of adult does have very clear goals, but they don't have the momentum to move forward. They're waiting for the magic carpet. Did you get that? To move them forward. They can't just get out and walk it out. They want the magic car carpet. There's this imaginary future. Like, it'll just happen. It'll just happen someway someday. It's just going to, like, unveil itself and happen. And so these are things that. That's why, typically, the person with this wound, you feel stuck, and it's extraordinarily frustrating. And I want to share something, too. Just because you have been indulged, that doesn't make your wound less impactful. Now, I know sometimes, like, oh, you poor little thing. You've had everything you've ever wanted and life has been easy for you. Yeah, absolutely. Because you don't realize, like, remember, with every single. Like, we are so deep in this series now, guys, this is wound number what? Wound number five. Okay, so we are so deep in this series, and all the Wounds we've seen. It's like, oh, can you. Let's turn around that, that tragic thing that happened into something more positive. This actually is tragic because it can paralyze somebody. I think the most tragic story of all is someone who never gets to realize how powerful they really are. And that's what happens with this wound of indulgence. And unfortunately, we have a lot of people suffering this because a lot of children haven't had to experience effort or, or pain or discomfort in moving forward or disappointment. They've been cushioned and protected. And that is. I mean, I know that sometimes parents are like, oh, but that's. I just love them so much. I want to make everything right for them. When we have to make everything right for our children, what happens when things go wrong? Like, this is a characteristic of a person with the. With this wound of indulgence. When things go wrong, it's just explosively wrong. It's horrible. You can't handle things that. That go wrong. It's like, this shouldn't be right. It makes you so not tolerant of that, which is a tragic crime. So I know it's like, is this really a wound? Yes, it is a wound. It's a tragic wound. So we need to know how to now heal from this and move beyond it. And so how we do that, of course, we're going to move to step four, which is elegant blaming. So here's the beauty of the wound of indulgence is we can know this, okay, that. That we're loved, okay? Maybe we had everything we wanted, but we didn't have everything we needed. The time, the attention, the focus. Maybe we missed relationship because we had everything else, right? But we do know that, you know, what solutions are out there, and I am loved and help is available. And what about this? We really can't know how strong we really are until we have the capacity to understand our weakness. What is this? This wound of indulgence actually sets us up for an amazing healing of intentionally growing our strength like we've never had to before, right? So let's elegantly blame it. If it was like, oh, I had everything I. I wanted and I was indulged, and now I don't know how to experience discomfort, and I blow up at everything, okay? But guess what? I had everything I needed. I was cared for, I was loved. And that is a beautiful starting point for some healing. Now step five is forgiveness. This is sticky when you're talking about the wound of indulgence. It is sticky because people might be thinking Forgive for what? Who am I forgiving and what am I forgiving for? For forgiving, like, for taking care of me, for indulging me, for giving me, like, everything I needed, for not. Not having me experience pain. I'm forgiving someone for that. Here's the deal. Forgiveness doesn't have to make sense, okay? Forgiveness is just an act of obedience to move forward. That's all it is. You don't have to share this with anyone. But, you know, in the extended work that we do inside Mom Master University, in that workbook, is a beautiful prayer. You can say that prayer, sign your name, date it, so, you know, this is done. Now I've cleansed the wound, and I can move forward into healing. So what are we forgiving? We're forgiving the. The oversight. We're forgiving the unintentional behavior. They didn't know. They just were. They just loved you, and they were trying to do everything right. So we're forgiving what was unintentional, and it was actually beautiful. And now we can choose. I'm going to take full responsibility, and I'm going to realize how powerful and strong I really am. Now, we do that by moving on to number six, which is the lie to truth bridge. Now, the lie is always on the part of the princess. And I know you. If you've been with me throughout this series, you know we're gonna make this whole bridge, right? We have to take it from the lie of the princess to the truth of the queen. So that is a bridge. It's not always an immediate thing. I think sometimes in church communities, we think it has to be immediate. You know, we think it has to be like, all right, I've forgiven, and now I feel so happy toward them. No, not necessarily. You still have residual feelings inside. That doesn't mean you didn't forgive. It just means you still have residual echoes of feelings. Sometimes we think, okay, now I know the truth, and I'm totally free from it. Then why am I still thinking these thoughts? Why do I still think I'm weak? Why do I still have rage issues? Why do I still can't handle frustration or can't put off, you know, gratification? Because we're moving on a bridge. The important thing is not that we get to the other side, but that we're always moving in the right direction. Did you get that? The important thing is not that we get to the other side, but that we're moving in the right direction. Direction across that bridge from the lie to the truth. Now the lie is I'm weak. And of course, the truth is I'm strong. Hannah. Is it that simple? Well, let's check it out. Okay. It says here in Joel 3, 10, let the weak say, I am strong. I guess it is that simple. But let me ask you this. If you say I'm strong, can you still feel weak? Yes, you can. But what you're doing is you're speaking the truth that you eventually want to make known to your core. Just because you say it out loud doesn't mean you're going to feel that way sometimes. Remember, we're walking across a bridge from the lie to the truth. But it's important that we learn to say the right things and start to wrap our beliefs around the right concepts. So I want to read this to you. This is 2nd Corinthians 12:10. So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased. And I take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities, and distresses. For when I am weak in human strength, then I am truly strong, able and powerful in divine strength. So what does this mean when you're weak? That means now it is not that I need to muster up strength now. It is I need to allow my weakness to be an open conduit for God to pour his strength in. Okay. It's not that we become stronger physically. It's that we become more trusting. We can move forward into frustration. We can move forward into unfamiliar. We can move forward into insecure because now we know that we have the strength of God in us, operating through us. This is how we cross the bridge, is we. We can allow ourselves to feel weak and still go forward. You don't have to feel confident to move forward. You don't have to feel strong to move forward. You don't have to feel secure to move forward. You don't have to feel smart. You don't have to feel any of that. You can feel weak and say, in my weakness, I'm now leaning more on God than myself. I'm going to become more God focused than flesh focused, more spirit than flesh. I'm going to focus on that, and I'm going to just do the next thing. I may not have the whole thing figured out, but I don't have to because God is in me to do what I can't do, because I just show up the way I am. Now, let's put it all together in step number seven, which is the new faith for formula. So let's start at the very beginning. Right? What is the Thought, I am strong. I am strong. Even if you don't feel strong, the thought is, wait, I'm strong. What if this is an opportunity to feel weak, but yet move forward to discover my strength? What if all I'm doing is just like, I'm working at a gym, I'm working at the spiritual gym, and I'm just kind of doing another rep? I don't even have to have the perfect results. I can let the perfect results go. This is hard for someone with a wound of indulgence because you want everything to be perfect. I can let that go because all I'm doing is the next thing. It could work out. It could not work out. But it is time for me to discover how strong and how competent I actually am. Now, how does that feel? I'm. I'm strong. I'm strong because of who's in me. Not because of who I am, but who's in me. I'm enough right now. I'm strong. I feel it. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'm strong enough to do the next thing. I may not be strong enough to get to the finish. Strong enough to do the next thing. Okay, so we're holding that thought. Right? How does that feel? Does it feel open? Think about it. Does it feel expansive? Does it feel solid? Does it feel like you can just do the next thing? Because that's what the doing is. If you feel open and secure and solid and protected and covered and maybe a bit strong, then you can do whatever the next thing is. Now you're able. Wait. I can feel pain. I can tolerate discomfort. I can be disappointed. I can do all of that. And what will I have as a result? Think about that. What will you have? You'll definitely have more opportunities because there isn't going to be one perfect way. There's going to be the next step. And that means there's so many ways. You have a million ways to get where God wants you to go. All you have to do is feel strong enough because of he who abides in you, just to take the next step. You can do that. So many opportunities. You have more knowledge of yourself, more compassion with yourself. You have confidence because you're starting to practice confidence. Remember, confidence is a muscle. We just have to practice it. Also, more intimacy with God, because it's not going to be your strength. You're not going to learn how to do it in your own strength. This is. Which is very countercultural because there was like, you know, you gotta, like, be strong, be resilient. Yeah. But sometimes when you have this wound. It's very hard to be strong when you feel weak. But when you know that God dwells inside you and he's the one doing the work, that means you have so much greater intimacy with him because you have to rely on Him. So this can be your life moving forward. And I want to share this one thing. I wrote this down right before I. Right before, you know, me filming this right now. And it was that idea of entitlement, like this is often what comes up when you think about this wound of indulgence. They're so entitled. We're so entitled. What if that's okay? Like, I, I want to approach this a little counterintuitive. What if, if you've had this wound of indulgence and entitlement is wrong, I'm about to blow your mind. What if you should feel entitled, not entitled because of your accomplishments, but entitled because of Jesus's accomplishments? Think about if you think entitlement. You think, I should have this. Things should be going this way. I am entitled to everything I desire. Well, when you break it all down, isn't that kind of what the Bible says? That he will grant you the desires of your heart? That we carry the title of God's ambassadors. We carry the name of Jesus Christ. We carry that covenant with God Almighty. That is our title. We are in covenant with God. So I want you to change this idea of entitlement into something that now you can embody because you are, are in a covenant with God Almighty. That is entitlement to the highest degree. Baby. Yes. This is how the world should be going. This is how my life should be going. This is how my money should be going. This is how my relationship should be going. This is how it should be. And I'm going to decree it. I'm going to declare it. I'm going to operate in line with God and believe, trust more in his covenant than I can trust in my strength. Right. And that is beautiful entitlement. And I wanted to share that with you because I want you to, like, embody that. If you have this wound of indulgence or if you do not have this wound of indulgence, I want you to start stepping in to this mentality of being entitled because of who you are as a daughter of the most high God. That's who you really are. So embody that. Own it. Make it who you are. Get into God's word, Discover all of his promises. And he wants to fulfill the desires of your heart through his covenant, not your effort. But through his grace. So now, how do we wrap this up? Well, it's story time. Your magic carpet has truly arrived, Princess. It's time to leave your castle. Step on for the ride of your life. Open your heart. Spread your arms out wide. Flex your muscles and say to the cool night air. I am strong. Shout it out loud. You are the daughter of a king. You can feel pain and use it for your power. You have strength to overcome anything. And when you discover that strength, you will finally become the queen you are destined to be and live happily ever after. Okay, now you know what is next, Master Mom. Make sure you go and do the work inside Mom Mastery. We always have the extended work that we do more. You know, the video, whether you want to watch it, whether or listen to it, whatever you want to do. Get that workbook that we have inside the university and do those exercises so we can get the healing done and move forward. Now, if you're not inside Mom Master University, this is when you get inside. Don't go to bed without becoming enrolled in Mom Master University. It's so easy. Just go to mommastery.com we actually have a dollar trial. You can try out the whole university. All 300 plus coaching programs for only a dollar for 30 days. Like what? Come on, let's get this show on the road. I love you my friend. Be blessed like crazy. So what about you, Mama? Are you ready to enroll in the only school that will not only ch change your life, but also your legacy? Go to Mom Mastery University where we dive deep into the biblical principles that give ordinary moms extraordinary results. Get enrolled today.