The 7 Princess Wounds: Part 7

Did you know that some of the biggest things that are holding us back today are the beliefs that we learned when we were children? Whether you realize it or not, some of these things happen subconsciously. Even if you don't heal from it, you're going to continue to stay in these stuck patterns. And this is what we're talking about here inside Mom Master University. We are wrapping up today a series called the Seven Princess Wounds. And today we're going to talk about the very last princess wound. And this is where our dear friend Cinderella comes out to join us. We're talking about the wound of humiliation today on Mom Mastery University. Welcome to Mom Mastery University, the education every mom should have had but didn't. I'm Hannah Keeley, America's number one mom coach. And class is now in se. Welcome to Mombasa University. I'm Hannah Keeley. I'm your host and I'm going to share with you today about Cinderella, all dressed in yellow, went upstairs, kiss a fella. Well, maybe she didn't do all that. But you know what? I know one thing about Cinderella. She was humiliated. And we're going to talk about that childhood wound here in this series called the Seven Princess Wounds. Now, this is part seven. We are wrapping it all up today here inside Mom Master University. So I want to encourage you, if this is your first time here, awesome. I want you to stay. Now, I also want you to go back and make sure you tune in to parts one through six, because especially part one. I talk a lot about these subconscious childhood wounds and how we. How they happen, what we make it mean, and how we really process information regarding to. To these wounds, how we can stay in patterns that may hurt us later on. So we're healing from all of these princess wounds to become the queens that God designed us to be. So today I want you to stay and hang out with me because I think maybe God has you here for a specific reason. Today we're going to discover that together because this wound of humiliation, it's very real. Sometimes we don't even realize we have experienced this in our life. And we're going to learn how to grow beyond it and heal from it. So let's sit back now and enjoy a little story about Cinderella. Once upon a time, there was a lovely young girl who lived a happy life with her dear father and mother in a kingdom far, far away. Her life was filled with beautiful days and restful nights until the fateful day that her dear mother passed away. And in desperation, her father remarried, but his new Wife was a horribly cruel woman whose true character was revealed when her father sadly pass on as well. The lovely girl, bereft of Paris, was now subject to the humiliation of a terrible mother in law who treated her worse than any slave, not even allowing her a warm bed. The girl was relegated to sleeping by the fireplace to fight off the chill. Will the girl ever declare her true position as queen of the kingdom? Or will she continue to sleep in the ashes by the fire? So what do you think? Think she's going to heal from this humiliation? That was a pretty big wound, right? Humiliation hurts. Humiliation is a belittling of who you are so the other person can feel better about who they are. And you see this in the tale of Cinderella. I remember when I. When I was younger and I watched the movie Cinderella. It made me so angry. I remember feeling so mad because in my mind, and now I know this is just perspective, right? In my mind, I was like, girl, why are you doing this? Like, why are you? Like, you're choosing to be a slave. You're choosing to go and fetch their breakfast, and you're choosing to get up and run upstairs when you hear the bell ring, and you're choosing to sleep by the fire, like, this is your home. I remember thinking that even as a child, I was like, wait a minute. I don't feel sorry for you, Cinderella. You're doing it. You're allowing it to be done for you. I was angry. And when I saw the fairy godmother, I'm going to tell you this. Something just hit inside me. I remember when I watched that fairy godmother, Bibbidi Bobbidi boo herself all over the place and make everything right. I remember thinking, that's my hero. That's. That's who I want to be. Like, I want to be the fairy godmother. I want to be that woman who sweeps in and shows another woman who she really is. Like, get up. Like. Like the angel says to Joshua when Joshua was at the end of his rope, he says, get up. Why are you lying thus upon your face? Like, that's the kind of voice I wanted to be. Is that woman who comes in and says, get up. Know who you are, get dressed like who you know who you are, put on the royal attire and make things happen. Like, that's. That just created something in me. I remember that fairy godmother. She. Yeah, she. She just cast a spell on me because I wanted to be like her. And I would get. I just got so frustrated. And then at the end, I was like, so, all right, you still don't know who you are. Like, the prince had to save you. Come on, this is your house. Like, I wanted her to roll up her sleeves and say, yo, get out my house. I was here before you. This is my house. This is my kingdom. Okay? But that's just me. And I have digressed long enough. So let's talk about this wound of humiliation. Humiliation is where you are. You un. It causes you to underestimate yourself because you have been de. Qualified. You have been disqualified. I should say so you feel that your parents or the people you grew up with or your caregivers, maybe they disapproved, maybe they criticized, maybe they ridiculed you. Maybe it was just you were different and you felt humiliated in those differences. So our step one, we do seven steps, right? Seven steps. Our step one is always looking at. At the experience and exposure we went through that created a belief. Now, the experience and exposure of humiliation, you can think about it. If this is something you went through, look back in your childhood. And as always, I need to clarify. The things we remember from our childhood are not always as it was, but just as we remember it. So a lot of that is distorted. Some information has been deleted and some information has been generalized there. So our brain just processes information and it processes memory according to the belief we hold. So if we hold a belief that, for example, you know, we've been learning all through this series, like, I'm rejected, right? Then when we recall memories in our past, we'll often incorporate some air of rejection in those memories. So our memories are not always accurate. Our memories are there to show us how we processed our childhood, our experience, and our exposure. So understand this is not always objective. It's extraordinarily subjective. So our experience is usually, you feel talked down to. You felt like you were demoralized, humiliated. You often felt less than. Especially in comparison to maybe the other people in your family. You feel like you were less than. Maybe you felt like you didn't measure up, right? Maybe you felt like everyone in your family is the same and you're different. Like you're the. You're the odd one out. You're the ugly duckling, right? And in that position, you perceive humiliation and you felt humiliation as a child. Now, let's talk about this. What core belief comes up when you think about humiliation is usually, I don't measure up. I'm not enough. I'm less things about yourself. Kind of like how we learned that I'm flawed with, you know, that wound of rejection. We're learning here that I just don't measure up. So if we could sum up this core belief in one phrase, it would be I'm not enough. Now think about what that feels like. We're going to move into this faith formula, right? We establish the core belief I'm not enough. How does this feel? Because we're moving into step number three, the faith formula. When you think the thought I'm not enough, how does that feel? Well, have you ever struggled with feelings of scarcity? Feelings of, you know, like a fear of missing out too some FOMO there. That's also stems off of scarcity. It stems off of I'm not enough. Think about it in terms of finances. Do you often struggle with not enough? Right. It's never a problem with how much money we make. It's always a problem with how we manage the money that we make. So we have to look. Maybe my behavior around money could be revealing something inside me that I believe of I'm not enough. I remember feeling as a youngest of five children that I never really fit in. I was always a little different. Could have been because I was placed in special ed in middle school or I don't know, but I always felt a little bit out of place. Like I was really, I was a little different. I remember my, my sisters, my brother would often joke with me and pretend like I was adopted. It's like, oh, we can't tell Hannah, like she's, she's actually adopted kid, like, and they would, you know, pretend to call me by different last names. Oh, no, I didn't mean to do that. But it was a joke, it was funny. But I, in my childhood mind, I could have perceived that as I don't measure up. I'm not like them, I'm different. I'm humiliated. And therefore I struggle with I'm not enough. Now you can say, well, you're enough, you're just different. But the child mind feels the isolation that happens with that humiliation. And that's why they encode it in their mind as humiliation. It couldn't be like you're less than, but you're different. So that kind of means you're less than. You're not like us. So we have to think when we feel that core belief, when it shows up in our feeling. Right? Because that's the faith formula. We, the way we think becomes how we feel. The way we feel causes what we do. And what we do always results in what we have. So we're going to move up here to the thing to the, to the way you think, right? And that thought there is I'm not enough. Now how does that feel? It might feel, it might feel lacking, it may feel tight, it may feel like your brain is always kind of scanning. It's always like running, running, running, running, trying to find what is the next solution. Where's my next resource? Where am I going to get the next idea, the next, the next shortcut, the next resource, like whatever that is. I'm always looking for more. Because if you feel like you're not enough, what do you need? You need more? More of what? It depends. So let's take these. We know what it feels like with finances. What about with relationships? Feeling like I'm not enough in your relationships can easily cause you to push love away from you because you don't feel that you have enough love. And of course, if you don't feel like you're lovable, you can never receive enough love. So a lot of this stems back from do I really love myself? How can you love, how can you love yourself if you're not enough? That's another premise that comes in. It's like, well, as soon as I'm enough, then I can love myself. So you have these like cool qualifying factors over your life. As soon as I have enough money, as soon as I'm pretty enough, as soon as I lose that weight, as soon as I manage that, that habit, as soon as I overcome that addiction, as soon as I. Whatever, whatever, whatever, you fill in the blank, then I can love myself. So we don't really get to practice self love when we suffer from this wound of humiliation because we never measure up. So that shows up in relationships. It shows up with eating behavior a lot of times. So think about, if you feel scarcity, not enough, what is that going to look like? It's going to look like maybe overeating, it's going to look like very controlled eating as well. Maybe even your body. Now here's this crazy thing, okay? Sometimes the, the core belief of not enough, okay, I'm going to try to communicate this the best I can. Shows up in nutritional deficiencies, okay? Because even though you might take in enough macronutrients, vitamins, minerals, all of that stuff, enough protein, enough carbs, enough fat, even though you might take in enough, how your body processes that food is, it's not getting enough nutrients, the core belief of I'm not enough is making the food not fill enough of your hunger or your nutritional needs. Isn't that amazing? Like you, it shows up Nutritionally in your body. So you might be deficient, like in a mineral, in a nutrient and a certain vitamin that you need. And it's all because it's coming from this core belief of I'm not enough. Because the body will always reveal what the mind is thinking. Always. Also, the way this feeling comes up is you have a performance radar. What I mean by that is it's like your mind always has a radar, spinning, looking at what do I need to do next? What am I missing? What do I need here in this space, in this time, in this moment? What is my lack? Because if you're suffering from a not enough, then you're always carrying some sense of lack in scarcity in your life. Enough is never enough. Or if enough is enough, it's only enough temporarily, boom, until the next moment when you need more, right? So when you have this feeling, what does it cause you to do? Well, the behavior is, you're always seeking evidence that you don't have enough. That's what we do. Like if we. Our core belief always results in us is called confirmation bias. We're always scanning our environment looking for confirmation that my belief is true. See, look in my checking account. I don't have enough. See, look in my closet. I don't have enough. See, look on the scale. I'm not, I'm not good enough. So we're always looking for evidence that we're not measuring up. It seems like enough is never enough. And also FOMO big time. The fear of missing out. There's always, you're lacking the next idea, the next product. You're, you're the one that like scrolls and you download this name and email download. Name and email download. You're missing the next template, the next workbook, the next webinar, the next class, the next free giveaway. You have all this free stuff, all this information, but you never use it because you're not lacking information, you're lacking revelation. And the revelation you're lacking is that you're already enough. Now, this behavior, all this doing, what happens? What do you have as a result? What you have is scarcity. You literally don't have enough right in that. Isn't that amazing? Like, this sense of not enough causes you to get more and seek more and have more, but then as a result, you still don't have enough. Like there the Bible talks about a generous man giving, but yet he always has more. And the stingy person who grabs on even that will be. He won't have it anymore. So it's like, we always create what we believe about ourselves. So if you believe you're not enough, guess what you will be creating? That you'll have debt problems, you'll have maybe weight issues or nutritional problems. Maybe you're going to struggle in love relationships, because enough is never enough. Who can measure up? Because I can't measure up. No one else can measure up. So does this make sense? Is it hitting home? You got a little bit of the Cinderella syndrome going here. All right, so let's move into elegant blaming. Now, we know that this is an essential part of healing from those princess wounds. And when we do elegant blaming, what that means is we have to take this truth from Romans 8:28, which is, all things work together for good. To those who love God are called according to his purpose. So we love God. We're all called according to his purpose, which is to create and live an abundant and bring heaven to earth, right? But if we think things are happening against us and we stay stuck in that pattern, we're never going to be able to live out that abundant life that Jesus died for us to have. So if you think about this, all things are working for our good. And even things that we went through, even if you went through humiliation as a child, there has to be good in there or God's word is not true. Because if Romans 8:28 is true, then all things do work together for good. So this is part of that elegant blaming. Let's look at those wounds in our past, look at that humiliation and say, hold on. Could. Does something good come from it? Could something good come out of it? Let's look at that. So think about this. Did it make you work hard? Harder? I bet it did. Because when that engine's running and you're always looking for the next solution, guess what? You're going to learn how to push yourself even more. What if. If you had not gone through humiliation, would you push yourself as hard as you do? Probably not. So you've learned to be a pretty powerful woman. You've learned to. To be resourceful, right? You've learned to seek out and get solutions on your own. You had to do that because you felt humiliated. Or also think about this, this learning. Learning how to tame scarcity, learning how to practice being enough. Would anyone really do that if they were not challenged in this area? Probably not. I have found in coaching hundreds of women over decades that one core belief seems to. Seems. Seems to reveal itself more than any other. And it is disbelief. I'm not enough. And so here's the great thing when we can understand, hold up. I would not be able to work on this belief like beliefs are something we have to work on. The Bible says to labor to enter into the rest. The rest is like being grounded, rooted and solid in a belief that you're enough. But sometimes you have to labor to enter into it. Now, understanding this concept of I'm struggling with scarcity, I'm struggling with thinking I'm not enough could be a great leverage point for you to do the intentional work in the belief realm of being grounded and rooted in Jesus. Because sometimes we just continue to live this way and don't even realize it. But isn't that amazing? Like, it can help you actually do that belief work by knowing, I don't want to stay here anymore, so it can serve you in that way also. Sometimes this wound of humiliation leaves you being a people pleaser. You have to make sure no one is mad at you. Think about it. With humiliation, you don't want people to be angry with you. You don't want people to leave you out. You don't want people to make fun of you or. Or mistreat you. So what do you have a tendency to do in order to prevent that? Make sure they don't. You might go overboard making sure that people are happy with you, that you don't disappoint people, that. That you make sure, like, everything's running on an even level and no one's mad and no one's talking about me, and no one has a wrong perception of me. Why? Well, because of how it makes you feel. Those wounds creep up, those wounds of humiliation. And if someone is unhappy with you, or if they have a wrong idea of you, or if they don't see your true character and they think you're someone that you're not, it can cut you so hard because it brings up those feelings of being left out, of being humiliated as a child. So you have to realize, maybe when you're working really hard to please people and making sure everyone's happy, is it really because you're compassionate and you care about them? Or is it because you're trying to prevent pain and suffering in yourself? Now think about this. There's good and bad. It has caused you to operate with compassion, to be more attentive to other people, even if it came from a place of pain. So now we can just put it in a place of pleasure, right? This beautiful place where like, no, now I can just. I can give people the freedom to be who they are. They don't have to please me, but I can still be compassionate, loving, and kind to them because I've learned how to do that. First, I had to do it as a protective instinct because I didn't want to feel suffering and pain. But now I can do it out of a love instinct and just be kind and compassionate and attentive to other people without making it so critical that they're not happy with me. We can let that go. This is the beauty of understanding. Romans 8:28. We can really position things in a place where we can just move to it, into such a place, such powerful role. Now. Now we get to command it. Just like Cinderella. We get so mad, you know, get up out of those ashes. Now we get to choose to get up out of those ashes. We get to choose to roll up our sleeves not to go and do the menial work, but to go and do the commanding work of operating out of the most powerful place possible. Imagine Cinderella came to her wicked stepmother and said, yo, check it out. I was just going through some of these legal documents that I have, and it says here that this house is my property because I'm the legal heir and not you. So here's what you're gonna do, okay? You and your little girls, you're gonna go pack some bags. Like, imagine if that is what she did. Now, you can argue with me, but I think this is a beautiful parallel to how we could be as Kingdom women. We could do the menial, oh, I'm not good enough. And I need to make sure people are happy with me and I'm so. And I'm fragile. Or we can say, wait, no, no. All of this that I went through, all of this in my childhood has worked for me to this place, for me to roll on my sleeves and step and step to that commanding position of knowing, wait, wait. The kingdom of God is in me. This is who I am. No, Satan, you're not gonna, like, tell me what to do anymore. I don't serve you. I know who I am now. I'm more than enough. And now I can make the best decisions out of the best place possible. That's the beauty of what we have available through Jesus. Oh, I can feel myself starting to preach now. Okay, I need to get back to coaching. Okay, so after this elegant blaming number four, we go to step number five, which is forgiveness. Now, you know, if you've been with me through the series, this is a beautiful decision that you make. It is not a feeling you have. It is a decision you make. And that decision can be made today, this moment. So if you're inside Mom Master University, you know, inside that workbook, I actually wrote up a prayer. You can pray it out loud, you can cite it, you can date it. There's a place there for you to do that. And that way, when you feel these feelings coming back of maybe resentment or bitterness to that, you know, maybe to the family or your caregivers or. Or community that you felt humiliated, you go back to that and say, no, no, no, that's just a feeling. Because according to this day that I signed this paper, I forgave them, and it is gone. So I want to encourage you right now, don't go to bed tonight without just releasing that. That just means you can list whoever it is you felt humiliated you and just say, I forgive them. Whether it was consciously or unconsciously intentional or unintentional, you can just decide they were just showing it the best they can with the skills they had. I don't know why they did this. I mean, think about it. That evil stepmother must have been in a lot of pain in order to treat someone with that kind of pain. So hurting people hurt people. So now we can just look at it through such compassion and say, I forgive them. I let it go. It's done. And know that that is forgiveness. And that's the decision, and we can do that today. Now, step number six is the lie to truth bridge. Now, this has got to be a process. Sometimes when we've been living with a lie for so long, it takes a while for us to deprogram from it. We don't always get a truth from the Bible and it hits boom. And the old is like cast off and the new has come and everything has changed. Sometimes that does happen, but more often than not, it is a process of deprogramming from the lie and reprogramming with the truth. Like when you turn off your phone or turn off your computer and you turn it back on, it takes a bit, right? Takes a bit to get booted up and. And all your apps to get loaded up and. And everything to get restored. It takes a while so you can think about this. Restoration of your mindset could take a while. That's why we're crossing this bridge from the princess to the queen. And that might mean the queen and the princess need to talk with one another. So this is not a bad idea to, as the queen of your life, to imagine yourself as a child, imagine what you went through. Go back to some times when you felt that humiliation and talk to that little girl and let her know that she's okay. She's okay just as she is. She's loved, she's accepted, and she is more than enough. You might need to talk to that princess and let her know that you're in charge now. You're not 7, 8, 9 years old anymore. You're in charge. And you get to call the shots and you get to rise up and you get to operate as a fairy godmother because you've got that magic in you. It's not. It's not magic. It's called the covenant power that is available to you through Jesus. It's not magic. It's miraculous. And so we can change our lives like that, but we have to operate in that power. So this might be a great time to just have that conversation. You might want to write a letter to your younger self. That's a beautiful way to help cross from that lie to truth. And the lie, of course, that we've been holding on to is, I'm not enough. So what. What the Queen is saying is, actually, I'm more than enough. I'm more than enough. Why am I more than enough? Through Jesus. So you get to decide. You get to decide if you're going to cross over that bridge or not. But whenever we get a truth, we always want it to be reflected in a truth, in the word of God, because our truth comes from the capital T, Truth, which is the word of God, we know that that is backed in the blood of Jesus. We know that is eternal. We know that it has stood the test of time. And we know we can bank on that. Right? So here's where we're gonna go. We're gonna go to 2nd Corinthians 9, 8, and God is able to make all grace, every favor and earthly blessing come to you in abundance. Abundance. Sounds. Does that sound like just enough? Nah, man. That sounds like more than enough. Right. So that you may always, and under all circumstances and whatever the need, be self sufficient, possessing enough to require no aid or support and furnish in abundance for every good work in charitable donation. So what does this mean? This means you already have more than enough as far as your health, your money, love, relationships, time, opportunity. You have more than enough of everything, not because of who you are, but because of whose you are. You have the living, eternal King of Kings, Lord of Lords, residing in you. The great I am is in you. This means you don't have to struggle with not enough because you have an inexhaustible source dwelling inside you. That you can tap into at any time. So what does this look like? Well, let's put it into the new faith formula, right? This is step number seven. And the thought, of course is, I'm more than enough. I'm more than enough. Feel that in you. How does it feel? It feels solid, right? It feels safe. You feel grounded, rooted. You're not worried about not having enough because now you. You're more than enough. So it feels expansive, right? You can open up. What does it cause you to do? It causes you actually to give out of abundance, to not because you have a need. Sometimes. I know when sometimes even in tithing, it's like, all right, I'm going to give this because I really need God to supply for me. God's not relegated to your tithe to supply for you. He will supply for you. He is faithful. It's not. He's not like, it's not a game that we play with God. He's not. We don't. And that's like, becomes using him, really. We don't give because we want to make sure we have enough. God's more than enough. We give because we're giving. We give because we already have, like, spiritual blessing inside of us. We give because we already have the inexhaustible source within us. We give because we already have that more than enough overcoming power in us so we can't out give God. So that's giving. Now, when you are doing that, think about it. When you're giving, you're not people pleasing anymore. You're not. You can just be you. You don't have to perform and make sure no one's angry at you. You can do what you love just because you love it, not because you need to make sure it's like covering your butt or it's earning your keep or anything. You can stop looking, scrolling, searching for evidence because you feel like you're missing something. Now you can just be. When you know you're more than enough, you can just be. And check this out. What do you have? Well, if you truly believe you're more than enough, that's going to show up in your life. And you will have more than enough. So, you ready for story time? All right, slip on your slippers, princess. They were made only for you. You are valuable, worthy and beautiful just as you are. Stand up, shake off the dust and wipe off the ashes. You are a daughter of the king and the entire kingdom belongs to you. You are enough, and you've always been enough. This is your party. Let the clock strike 12 because you don't have to go anywhere. Stay solid in knowing who you are because only then can you become the queen you are destined to be and live happily ever after. I have so enjoyed doing this series with you. Congratulations on getting through the entire entire series and I want to encourage you. This is when we go do the work. So if you're already inside Mom Master University, make sure you go and listen to or watch the extended work because that's where we go in and actually execute these strategies. We do the work. We do the deeper thinking and the deconstructing and the reconstructing. That's what we do. See, hearing is not enough. We also have to do it. So if you're not inside Mom Master University, I want to encourage you. Go there right now. Mommastery.com get the trial if you want to try it out. We have a dollar trial. Get the trial, get inside, do this work and see what a difference it's going to make in your life. Be blessed like crazy. So what about you Mama? Are you ready to enroll in the only school that will not only change your life, but also your legacy? Go to Mom Mastery University where we dive deep into the biblical principles that give ordinary moms extraordinary results. Get enrolled today.