12 Workplace Conflict Resolution Techniques for PMs

Hello. In today's video, we are going to be talking about the 12 workplace conflict resolution techniques that you can use as a project manager. It's better to be prepared for resolving these conflicts rather than trying to prevent all conflicts from happening in the first place. Conflicts sometimes are actually a good thing. If no one has any conflicts on your project, it could mean that they are just following orders instead of trying to come up with the best solution. When people have productive conflict, it could actually mean that they're brainstorming for new ideas and it could actually lead to better project objectives. Unhealthy conflict resolution techniques, however, and toxic culture can lead the project to derail and create a culture of mistrust. It's not about preventing conflicts from happening, it's about resolving the conflict in ways that are productive. So let's talk about the 12 ways that you can use to resolve conflicts. So the first technique is forget about winning or being right. You want to check your ego at the door. Working through conflicts in any organization can be intimidating, but it's important that you understand both sides, and the goal is to come to a resolution. It's not about being right. You want to look at the opposition as your friend. You're still on the same team. You don't want to look at the other person as your enemy that you have to defeat. The purpose is that you want to maintain mutual respect while coming up with a conflict resolution that will work for both parties. You'll have a higher chance of reaching common ground with your colleague and deescalating tensions when you see each other with respect. And understanding that you are on the same team. Difficult conversations could be a struggle, especially if you and the other person are known to butt heads with each other and don't see eye to eye. However, you have to learn to navigate through these conflicts with mutual respect. Moving on to strategy number 2, don't look for a person to blame. Look for the root cause. As project managers, it is our duty to observe any errors that occur on the job. Focusing on the individual mistake without placing blame on the individual can be done by understanding each step of the process. Did this person have all of the necessary information to complete their task? Were there any discrepancies between your steps, or did something get lost in translation when passed along? By being thorough and researching every detail, we can ensure that these mistakes don't repeat themselves. Focusing on the process instead of chewing someone up can help prevent mistakes in the future. Also, when you don't focus on the individual, there will be less fingerprint pointing on your team. So strategy number 2 is to not blame the person, but figure out how the problem happened and correct it at its root cause. Now let's move on to strategy number 3, name your emotion before meeting. As humans, we are intrinsically imperfect and often make irrational decisions. One of the most powerful conflict resolution techniques is to take a step back and identify how you truly feel about the situation. This can be done independently. However, talking it through with an impartial friend can also help you gain clarity. Putting a name to your emotion is one of the best ways to identify what's really at its core. So you may feel anger, annoyance, or even betrayal, but if you dig deeper and further analyze these emotions, you're likely to discover that it stems from lack of communication between yourself and your team. There was something that wasn't communicated. There was an expectation that wasn't met. Now, once you understand this, this will help you create an environment for effective dialogue as well as understanding how our feelings are connected to the underlying issues. Naming your emotion will allow you to get closer to the root cause of the conflict and resolving it altogether. Conflict resolution strategy number 4 is collaborating with the other party on how to handle the conflict. Many conflicts in the workplace are caused by misunderstandings, because of diverse communication styles. In today's digital age, we often communicate through messages on platforms such as Slack. Since people are meeting less and less face-to-face, this could mean that there is increased chances for miscommunication. When people can't see each other's body language, it could mean that certain words are misinterpreted. So inviting the other person to collaborate offers them an olive branch, showing that you are open to their needs, you are willing to listen, And that you understand that dealing with conflicts in the workplace is a two-way street. From my personal experience, collaboration is the best conflict resolution strategy. It's about listening to both sides and seeing how you can collaborate together to incorporate everyone's viewpoints. All right, now let's move on to conflict resolution strategy number 5, which is to keep your conversations goal-oriented. Keeping things goal-oriented is second nature to many project managers because it is Inherent in our jobs. We all know that conflict resolution is good, but what are the specific benefits that you can tie to a particular conflict? When assessing how to handle conflicts with a particular coworker, you may want to have more open discussion as to what your goal is. For example, you can say something like this to them, I want to find more collaborative ways for our team To flag issues early in the process. Or you could be more empathetic and say something like, I want to know what I can do better next time in order to catch these problems ahead of time. All of these types of communication can establish a two-way street without pointing fingers. Our next strategy is to meet face-to-face. I actually talked about this a little earlier. For many introverts, this may seem a little daunting. It's much easier to hide behind a screen, but to resolve conflicts, the best mode of communication to do this is to have a face-to-face conversation. When you talk on the phone, a lot of the message is lost because you can't see the other person's body language. Face-to-face conversations are also much better than emails and Slack messages because you can actually hear the person's tone of voice. Something said in another tone could be completely misunderstood. Now be careful though, because in this day and age, people are so used to sending emails and Slack messages that when you ask to meet them face-to-face, it could actually be perceived as a threat. The other party may think, oh, what did I do wrong that you need to meet me in person? So make sure that you approach the meeting with an open, friendly invitation. You want to be the mediating project manager. As a project manager, forcing people to have a conversation can sometimes be perceived as a bad move. They may be pressured to quote unquote kiss and make up without having a real discussion about the conflict. They may also be concerned about keeping their job, and they might just resign to a different solution rather than talking about why they think their idea is the best one. When you are resolving a conflict between 2 team members, it is best to meet with each party separately first. Let them vent a little bit, make sure that they feel listened to, and take emotional inventory. Once you have talked to both parties individually, you can bring them together to talk about the conflict in a productive way. Sometimes it may also be helpful to bring in a third-party mediator To come in and help both parties to deescalate the conflict. This is usually used between your team and the client if there is a disagreement about what the deliverables should be. Now let's move on to conflict resolution technique number 7, which is to legitimize and echo their feelings back to them. When navigating conflicts with your colleagues, it is essential to acknowledge their frustration, by validating what they are feeling. Doing so not only communicates that you are listening to them, but it also shows that you are empathizing with them and you are on their team and looking for viable solutions to this situation. You want to be attentive and show that you are actively listening and can help resolve the current issue while fostering an environment of openness. When you repeat their feelings back to them, this shows them that you are comprehending their viewpoint and you are clarifying any discrepancies between your comprehension and the issue. Let's now move on to conflict resolution technique number 8. This is about finding an opportunity to admit you were wrong and what you could have done differently. Self-evaluation is one of the keys to preventing future conflicts. We create a process to analyze our behavior and those of our team members, and then we figure out a solution to identify those miscommunications and prevent complications from happening again on our project. The truth remains that there's constantly something all of us can do better when it comes to our clients, and our team. Demonstrating an example for better practices could also prevent future misunderstandings from happening. So the goal here is to constantly improve. We want to create a welcoming environment where people can assess their own behavior, admit where they have gone wrong, and build a stronger team culture as a result. We all have our weak points, and when others bring our mistakes and weak points to our attention, We should be able to admit to those weak points and correct them in the future. All right, now let's move on to conflict resolution technique number 9. Never tell someone what they said, how they felt, and/or what they did. Human memories can be unreliable, particularly when it comes to remembering what was said during an emotionally charged conversation that you had with someone in the past. So utilizing phrases such as, you said this, or you did that, could be unproductive. Instead, you could use, I felt hurt, or I felt angry when this or that happened. So it's more about emphasizing your feelings rather than putting the blame of the conversation on the other party. Rather than saying, you shut down the conversation so that developers couldn't discuss those issues. Try saying this instead. When the dialogue concluded, it felt as if the development team didn't have a chance to express any challenges they faced. This highlights that both of our present learnings and how keeping the conversation goal-oriented can benefit everyone in the long run. Moving on to technique number 10, we want to focus on behaviors, not personalities. If you focus on a person's personality rather than their behavior, this could lead to a damaging atmosphere and it could jeopardize every other effort made for conflict resolution. For example, let's suppose that you speak to one of your team members and you tell him that he can be condescending when talking to other team members. This person may automatically start becoming really defensive and He might also press you for the names of other team members who have said that he was being condescending. You don't wanna give out the names of other team members cuz it could create a negative dynamic and it could also ruin your open door policy. So instead of telling this particular team member that he can be really condescending, you can instead focus on behaviors that he could take instead. So you can tell this team member something like, you could ask Your team members if they need any support. You can try giving your team members more time to ask questions, and you can be more patient when you are responding to them. So by focusing on behaviors that this team member can take instead of focusing on the personality trait, AKA condescending, you can actually get to the next step without getting the other person becoming really Furthermore, the absence of examples of behavior creates an assumption that the person is aware of the problematic behavior as it happens, which is often not the case. So maybe this person's not doing it consciously and they didn't mean for the other party to feel like he was, um, talking down on them or becoming condescending. Now let's move on to technique number 11, which is to communicate the takeaways and apply learnings for the next time. What's the purpose of engaging in difficult conversations if we can't take anything away from them that's going to become more effective communications in the future? Pinpointing communication breakdown and their sources is an effective means for bringing siloed teams together. By presenting a plan of action to each party in moving forward as a result of the conversation, everyone on the team are equipped with essential conflict resolution techniques that will make future chats much more comfortable. People can see that you have an open door policy. They can come to you when there are disagreements, and there's going to be a course of action taken to resolve that conflict. This will instill trust for your team in you. You want to create a culture of growth and trust. Conflicts will happen no matter what you do. It's about how you resolve it and how you move forward and how you prevent similar conflicts from happening again. In the future. Lastly, technique number 12 is to create space for conversations and have open channels to address the conflicts. Although it's easier said than done, having the right culture, communication channels, and protocols in place before disputes arise increases the chance of successful conflict resolution. Furthermore, these structures will help to establish expectations for your team on how to tackle these complicated issues. If someone on your team does not feel empowered to raise issues to other peers or managers, the underlying problems and conflicts will continue until things reach a boiling point. You can't just sweep conflicts under a rug. You may also wanna schedule one-on-ones for feedback with everyone across the team so they have a way to tell you about conflicts that are happening in a very secure and private manner. If you wish to tap into insights and true potential of the quieter team members, then providing feedback channels is essential. Many people do not feel confident to voice their opinions, but if they have an opportunity to do so, they will likely do it. Not everyone will have the natural inclination towards addressing conflicts, But you should always have the frequent conversations with every single team member so they are not left alone. So those are the 12 techniques to deal with conflicts. Now, before we wrap up today's video, I just want to say this. As your team grows and develops, its needs will shift. Consequently, you want to craft a work atmosphere where disagreements are settled with clarity and level-headedness. You don't want both parties to be antagonistic towards each other, as this will only ruin the working dynamic. Also, remember that it's not a competition. You have to take a collaborative problem-solving approach, keeping the conversation goal-oriented and focused on the root problem. You should create an environment in which everyone feels listened to, and you want to deliver the message face-to-face whenever possible. By following the 12 tips that I laid out in today's video, you will create an atmosphere where not only listening, but speaking up respectfully is encouraged on your project teams. Conflicts will be handled amicably. Thank you so much for joining me for today's video. Have a great day.