Episode 272: Defying Death: Aidan’s Fight Beyond Terminal Cancer

Never actually being and creating in the moment, but it's this delicate thing going, when will you actually arrive? So you need both. It's like I need the North Star. That's what will drive the focus of the actions. It gives me purpose today. But what can I do with such vigor that actually makes that matter? Because everyone does things every day. Everyone's fucking busy every day. But what can you do actually? Be productive and, and yeah, build the life that outlives you through your children, your grandchildren, so on and so forth. And that's what's inspiring about you, man. You know, and to go from some tough news, palliative care and struggling early this year to starting another business, getting your six pack in full health, like, it's just, mate, unreal. But I want to. If guys haven't listened to the, the first podcast we did with Aiden and you know, there'll be plenty more as well. We'd love a quick recap. You should absolutely go. Go back and listen to that one. I think it might have been May, May last year, 2024. But yeah, absolutely go back and listen to it. But yeah, Aiden, do you want to give us a quick recap, man, of like, because there was a part of you you didn't like on reflection in how you were as a father, as a husband, as a man, although albeit successful in your. In your business beforehand, but what direction.

And try to find better ways to deal with it.

Yes, well, I'm looking at a strong, healthy specimen here, mate, so I'm proud of you, bro. Looking really, really good. We'll talk about the challenges. You've had some challenges this year, no doubt, which you did an amazing share at our Brisbane event. 120, 130 men got to experience what you'd gone through and where you're at and just the, Just the fight. I love that about you, man. Like the people talk about battling and surviving, but you're just. And it's not even fighting for life, just the fight in you to be persistent and, and you're resilient every day, getting up, how can I overcome? And, and then your outlook, mate. The, the amount of messages we got from our first podcast were unbelievable, man, and just so inspiring. Gave me enough rocket fuel, that's for sure. And that's. That's where I feel. Eternally blessed, mate, to have you in, in the community. But looking forward to this one, bro. I'd love for you to give us an update, mate. 15 months. We're talking about this before, like 15 months since our last one, it's gone so quick. We said every year. So sorry, mate, I was three months late.

That's all good. No, no, no worries. Like update, update wise, look as fitness healthy as I've probably ever been. I'm looking really good. Starting to see a bit of, a, bit of a six pack coming through, which is weird when, you know, five, five months ago I went really downhill and was told to pretty much go palliative care. So I've had nurses in and out of my house and you know, there was one day there sort of at the end where they came in and I was doing push ups on the ground and I just sort of laughed at them, they laughed at me and I just said, I don't think we'll be seeing each other again for a while. Which was, which was really nice. You know, they sort of came and just sort of did nothing. The first, definitely the first few months was like really, really hard because obviously you get caught up in your head because you've worked so hard and then they sort of and get told something and it sort of smashes you down a bit. But yeah, other than that. But that was probably the hardest thing, I guess, to get told that again after doing so much work on myself and with everything. But I was really in that moment, you know, I put up a share and I had achieved everything that I wanted to in that space. But then I also added to that and said I've gonna miss out on so much more and I don't really want to go. And that was tough because even though I thought I'd achieved everything that I wanted to, I'm happy with who I am. Like I tell myself I'm proud of myself every day, you know, there's nothing wrong with telling yourself you're the man in the mirror every time you see one, you know, because I'm not the person I was 15 months ago and I'm not going to be the same person, you know, today as I am next week. Because we grow every day. So, yeah, it's just been a bit of a rough challenge, but I got there in the end. I had extra drive to build something for my family at the end of the day. So that gave me extra drive and as you said, resilience. And I just, I get up, I've got this purpose that I just strive for. Like I want to show people that you're capable of anything. Even in your darkest moments, even, even if you can't see or, you know, don't have legs, you can still Achieve something definitely in a short time, too. In a very short time.

So, yeah, nothing short of inspirational. MAN ON what you've done, you know, like, it's. Isn't it a lesson for all of us? It's like, there is no. When do you actually think you'll ever arrive, quote unquote, at life? I remember hearing this saying it was from someone on a podcast or maybe just an Instagram reel was like, life is what happens when you're planning on what you want to achieve next. So it's so funny. Like your life is what's happening when you're thinking about something else. Just, I'll just get this and I'll just have that and I'll just achieve this and then I'll live and then I'll have life and then I'll. It's like, well, man, you've spent 56, you've spent 94% of your life now in that mentality, never actually being and creating in the moment, but it's this delicate thing going, when will you actually arrive? So you need both. It's like, I need the North Star. That's what will drive the focus of the actions that gives me purpose today. But what can I do with such vigor that actually makes that matter? Because everyone does things every day, everyone's busy every day. But what can you do actually? Be productive and, and yeah, build the life that outlives you through your children, your grandchildren, so on, so forth. And that's what's inspiring about you, man. You know, and to go from some tough news, palliative care and struggling early this year to starting another business, getting a six pack in full health, like, it's just, mate, unreal. But I want to. If guys haven't listened to the, the first podcast we did with Aiden and you know, there'll be plenty more as well. We'd love a quick recap. You should absolutely go. Go back and listen to that one. I think it might have been May, May last year, 2024. But yeah, absolutely go back and listen to it. But yeah. Aiden, do you want to give us a quick recap, man, of like. Because there was a part of you you didn't like on reflection, in how you were as a father, as a husband, as a man, on. Although, albeit successful in your. In your business beforehand. But what. Yeah, give us a quick recap, man, of where things were and then. And then what? What happened and then, yeah, mate, what's happened since in that 15 months between our podcast, you being in HPF and today?

Yeah, There's a lot that's happened. I mean, we definitely can't get through it all in one podcast, that's for sure. And it's amazing when you actually reflect and realize how, how fast time flies. So, yeah, a recap for me. I had a very successful business in the flooring industry. We, we had what we wanted. I thought I was a great father by providing money and that's about it. Didn't have a great relationship with my children, with my wife, and it was completely depleted. In the end, even though I was, you know, being told, you've only got a few months to live, my wife still couldn't handle the person I was. So there was years and years of buildup of this. And it does get to a point where even though I'm going through a tough time, she's also got to make a sacrifice for herself and, and the kids to, to get away from that. And maybe that was the shining light for me to join hbf and because, yeah, I had respect everywhere else, but just not at home. But I would always demand respect because of what I brought to the household. But at the end of the day, I didn't bring anything. I brought something that anyone can bring and that's just money. At the end of the day. You know, we've been through a lot. Obviously financially we haven't had, obviously the life we, we used to have and even that adjustment has been incredibly hard. But we've also had the best times, you know, by creating memories through, through the journey that don't cost money and they're, they're lifetimes worth memories. And I, I learned that because I was on my deathbed and the only thing that people talk about is memories. I never brought up the, the things that people bought me or what I had or what people were getting after I was gone. None of that was in anyone's mind. It was just laughter and memories. So, yeah, for those people that are chasing just materialistic things, you're going to keep chasing for a long time and you're gonna never be grateful for the things you've got because you'll want something else, want something more. So I guess being very self aware and complacent has been a bit of a journey as well. So, yeah, I wasn't the greatest person, but yeah, joined HBF and I guess the tools were in place. But then also the, the tribe that was around me at the time, the community, is just absolutely amazing. The tools are there, but it's really, you have to put in the work you have to want to change. And I think that's the greatest thing about hpf. It's everything is there laid out for you in black and white with, with all the resources. But it's until you make that change in yourself and want to pivot yourself to a different life, you're not going to get what you want out of it. And I really had to, I guess, you know the phrase fall on, fall on my sword, I guess, and just go, this is who I am. I'm not great, but I'm going to change. And that was the drive for me because I didn't want my kids seeing a failure in, in life and I failed them in many ways as well as my wife. And that was just communication, that was just presentness, that was just being there. So, you know, I take every opportunity now just to give my, my kids a hug, you know, just to watch them play, laughter, you know, there's also parenting that comes into play. You also got to be stern and, and do things that a parent should be. I'm not, you know, just let loose, be free. I've, you know, I run a pretty tight ship at home, I guess, but that's the respect I've built up over these 15 months. The kids can see me change. They know that this is my word. So they know that if I tell them we're going to go out on the weekend, we go out on the weekend. So, you know, a lot has changed. I've changed so much. Kathy's changed, my wife, you know, and we're still together, which is truly amazing. But yeah, just, there's just been so much, I guess with, with health and going through the journey through hbf. But it's been made easier through the connections I've made, having the resources there, the coaches, the catch ups, I mean the catch ups are just absolutely amazing. I missed the one on the weekend because I had to work, but yeah, it's just been phenomenal. I'm so complacent with myself. Like I don't care about other people's opinions. It's just this is who I am now and I know I'm doing the right thing. And that self confidence comes from me just being aware of myself now. You know, I don't put myself up on a pedestal. I just am confident within myself and with what I know that I can achieve. So it's. Yeah, I don't even know sort of where to keep going. It just, yeah.

What's interesting. Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to catch off but yeah, mate. It's an interesting dynamic because you're. What you're saying is like, I guess you're comfortable in yourself and your identity, but yet I. I hear and see this man speak, and I see nothing but drive and ambition. It's like, man, what. What is. What is that?

What?

Because that's a. That's a pretty ra. Essentially told you're going to die. Relationships all falling down. Thought you were doing the right thing, playing the wrong game, which a lot of us, as men get fallen into the trap of. And I think it was a 36 mil. Was it 36 mil? Brain tumor.

Yeah.

Worked it down, came good. But there's got to be something dry. Like what? Was there an epiphany or a moment? Was it reflecting on your relationship with Kathy, the kids, even. Even though you got told, man, it's like. It's like those. The hourglasses. Like the sand is just pouring through to the other end. Despite that, instead of being bitter cold and turning away like, unfortunately most people do, here you are. And then you've. You've excelled that again in season two and. And beyond. But, yeah, what, What. Yeah, what's driving that, man? Even though you got told aids, you know, time's running out because most men think they've got more time, so they're. They. They. So they will be ambitious but comfortable at the same time. But for you, it's like, yeah, why. Why even be ambitious, man? Because the times you don't have the time, but. But here you are.

Well, I guess I learned about time. I guess I learned that I can have time for myself. And it's okay. My ambition, my drive just comes from. I don't know. It's. It's. It's sort of hard to say, like, laziness kills ambition, but ambition kills laziness. And I've never wanted to be a lazy person. Like, just got this drive that I want to not prove to everyone, but prove to myself that I can control my time on this earth. I can control what I want within reality. And if I have enough drive and enough purpose, that anything's achievable within reason. And it has to be a reality of within reason. I think unrealistic goals. In my head, we all get caught up with unrealistic goals. And that for me, I've learned to block out pretty well. So I just. I want to have more time on this. This earth, I guess, but plant my seed in. In many places and meet more people. So that's just the drive I have. I'M not sure if that makes any sense, but it's. Yeah, it's sort of hard to say. I, I'm so happy with who I am, but I know that if I just keep pushing a little bit, I can achieve more. And, you know, I think you brought it up when we spoke and you're at the Gold coast and you said, you know what, what is your best? And that really stuck with me. It's like, you know, you can pump out 20 push ups and say that's your best, but then you have a five minute break and you can do 12, you know, after the 20 minutes of doing push ups, having some rest, you may be pumped out 50, but you could probably do one more at the end of the day. So what is your best? And I just learned to stop measuring myself against something unachievable. You know, I could, I can compare myself to every other shop out there and say that we're the worst, but we're also the newest, we're also the smallest. So what is our best? We haven't achieved our best yet. And that motivation for me was like, well, I don't even know what my best is, but let's find out.

Yeah, I love that, man. It's so interesting hearing a man talk about goals, within reason, who's outliving the doctor's prognosis by two years. But this is what I love too, right? Like I, I think and tell me if I'm wrong. I'm not here to shift or shape your words, but boys, if you hear the words within reason, I agree with you, man. 100, like the blue sky stuff. Yeah, fine. But for me, within reason is, is it achievable in the sense that something either like it close to it or. Exactly. It has been done before, mate. Like, have people beaten cancer before? Yes. Have people started a new business before? Yes. I mean, I'm looking at fish aquarium now. Looks amazing. Maybe you've shown me your shop and all fitted out looks, looks awesome. So when you look at you look at the goals, fellows, I think when people would take that word within reason or realistic. Aidan. Unfortunately, what they do is they lack the ambition, drive and hunger to explore what has been done to widen or lengthen the horizon of how far they can actually go. So within reason and realistic actually becomes a story, becomes self sabotage, it becomes an emotional state or feeling. Now I can't do that. It's like, well, hang on a minute, has someone else survived from this and done that or created that or. Of course they have. So It's a beautiful. It's a beautiful balance. What is your best, but also within reason, without comparing against other people. You can use the feats of humanity as a great measuring tool to go, wow, it is possible. Might not always be probable, but it's possible. I love that about you, man. The. It was a pretty profound speech that you had at our event in. In Queensland as well, mate. You know, like you. What appeared to be. I wouldn't have the exact timeline, but what appeared to be entering a tougher period or on the. I guess you'd say the decline, but, you know, and then I connected with you a little bit there and offline and online. But I guess what inspires me the most is I remember the phone call we had not that long ago and then the phone calls we've had recently. It's like, wow, the energy, the man, he's back, you know, not that you ever gave up. That's incredible, man. Just. Just in one year. But what did happen? So 15 months since our last podcast, or just the last 12 months. You want to walk us through, I guess, some of the personal challenges where we'll be able to see firsthand what you just described then, is what is your best. What can I do? And maybe you've got more appreciation because time, something that was almost completely taken from you as opposed to working the averages, 80 years, a lifetime, maybe. I mean, that's a valuable thing. But yeah. What's happened the last 12 months, man? Give us a bit of an update.

For the last 12 months. So I've obviously been pretty sick. I think I got down to about 40, 45 kilos, something like that. So I was pretty much skin and bone and, yeah, just started depleting. Memory fog, things like that. So tumor was growing quite rapidly and especially at Brisbane. I was not. Not good. Definitely put on a bit of a brave face in Brisbane, for sure. Even. Even the workout, you know, I was sore for about four or five days after that. I'm pretty sure a lot of people were. That was pretty intense workout. But yeah, it's. This has been. It's been hard. And not to say that I've never, like, I try not to doubt myself. You never say never, but there's always moments of doubt throughout the journey. They're not always, you know, happy times. There's, of course, there's arguments, of course, there's. There's things you get caught up inside your head about, you know, there's always moments there where I say, you know, you're not good enough. For this or you're not good enough for that. But that's just a moment, I guess, that I've learned to just sort of push aside. Thoughts aren't. Yeah, thought. Thoughts aren't fact. It's a thought. So it's. I guess it's been really hard to sort of deal with what I'm going through. Knowing that one day it's, you know, will get me, but also to carry on throughout that is just been a massive journey. You know, Brisbane got pretty much three, three, four months. My doctor said it'd be. You'd be lucky to do three weeks with the size of the tumor. So the tumor gets. Got to about 94 millimeters, which is huge. It's quite a few people don't know about, but that was probably the scariest time that I've ever had. And I guess hearing the guys in Brisbane talk about their, Their struggle and their pain, it made me want to keep. Keep going just to see the end of their journey. Not even mine, because I know the growth that they're going to have throughout it, that was a big drive for me to sort of keep going. But even with the family life and things like that, the last sort of 12 months, you know, the kids have seen me go through so many changes and that's really hard on them because I've done all of this with no medication. You know, I've had a couple of stints of radiation and things like that, but I've done it all without painkillers, pharmaceutical painkillers. And that was a choice that I made for myself. And it was painful at times. You know, I don't. I can't really say how the kids felt, but it wouldn't have been nice to watch me in pain a lot. So I've never really had to watch someone go through sort of pain and watch them die, I guess so, you know, I always used to go to bed after the kids would, you know, give me the biggest hug in the world and say, see you in the morning. And I. I guess to see you in the morning was always a big factor in my head. That was a demon. I used to fight for hours, you know, just to. If I stay awake, then I'll make it till the morning. But that was unhealthy and that's, you know, added to stress and obviously added to me going downhill a lot because I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating properly and I was beating myself up. And it was just had to be happened to, you know, have a conversation with a Few guys through HPF and, and Kathy, you know, Webby, Darren and Nath Inglis and then Kathy, you know, they've all said the same thing over and over again. They just keep saying that, you know, we love you and we're going to be there for you and we'll be there for your family. And that's everyone that I've, you know, had a connection with throughout HPF or people that don't even know me and say, you know, give me Kathy's number just in case anything happens and we're there. You know, the Queensland guys are phenomenal. So that for me was a really, it was a hard time to let go and say, close your eyes, you need sleep, you need rest, it's time to rest. You know, there's some guys got together and did something pretty amazing for us so I could, I could rest, I didn't have to stress, which was phenomenal. But for me to have 500 plus members, you know, going to be there for my family at the end of the day, if something happened, that was enough for me to say, it's, it's okay, it's time for you to shut your eyes and you know, it, whatever happens, happens. So that factor there is sort of probably the biggest one that I learned that I felt throughout, you know, the whole, the whole sort of journey. And that's what has given me the peace and I guess the, not the drive to prove everyone wrong just so they, I don't want to, it's not a burden but you know, I don't want them to have to look after my family. I want to look after my family. So yeah, the, the journey has been a roller coaster, to say the least. Yeah, it's just been so up and down, but at the end of the day I just keep saying one more day, one more day and that's it. And I could have one more Day for 70 years, I don't know. But at least if I keep telling myself for one more day, because what I can achieve in a day is incredible. You know, in the last month I've built a business, brick and mortar business, out of nothing. You know, no loans, no credit cards, nothing. Just pure sweat and tears and blood and that's what we've put into it. That was a final push for me and I posted it up on, up in HPF and I posted this one last push to build something that we love as a family to build, you know, a reef shop, reef aquarium. So for my family, because that's what we love and we can all work together and it's a place where they can remember me. And it just turns out we're the only ones there and it's thriving. So, you know, it wasn't the plan to make heaps and heaps of money, but I guess the goal wasn't money. But it's just a product of what we've achieved. It's just a byproduct of us, and that's fine. You know, you can be wealthy ass, and it doesn't matter. Money's not the root of all evil. It's just literally a tool that you can use to get places and achieve things if you do it right. You know, it's just. It's been beautiful. It's been a calming, this journey, as, as. As much as it's been hard, especially on me. You know, I'm blind in my right eye. My legs don't work sometimes, which is kind of weird. So it's like I'm a pirate at the moment. Kids call me pirate. It's pretty funny. But I can still achieve things. I'm still grateful. Yeah, the journey's been roller coaster, mate. Absolute bloody roller coaster. But I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the men inside HPF doing that for us and our family so I can rest. So, you know, and to even think about. You know, I've always joked about having a living funeral because I just don't know when. But then I'm thinking maybe it's too soon to have one. You know, it's probably way too soon. So it's. Yeah, being a bloody journey, that's for sure. Yeah.

Yeah. Very deep, man. Very deep. Both ways, mate. In be quite a. Cathartic's a word. But it'd be very peaceful, you know, having the. The aquariums there in your shop. You've shown me on a. On a call. We did a video call. Looks. It looks incredible. And at the same time, moments of. Not despair, but for sure, doubt, which would enter any man's head. I just want to stay up till the sun comes because then I've made it to see the kids again. You referenced something earlier about people chasing material, like early. Really early in the podcast. And you know, it's. And then just back that up again, like, great tool, great resource. But the irony is, when you're not chasing it, it doesn't land in your lap. Blood, sweat and tears. But you've created something that'll support your family now, something you and your family are invested in. You're passionate about you love in your business, which, yeah, ironically enough, supply and demand, it's a worthy cause. It's serving the local community. How awesome. That's like. Whereas people are chasing material wealth, they make money greater than, which means they are less than and what a disservice to yourself and your family and humanity. Whereas like you said, we can do so much in one day. We are creating, you're creating every single day. We've got the creator in us, man. That's just, that's so powerful. Yet you look at a piece of paper with a number on it and you value it higher than yourself. Your integrity, your worth. So I love your perspective and position on things, mate. Coming from a place where you were very financially successful, not someone who's on the streets pointing at the elites or like. It's like it actually comes from a very wholesome and grounded position, which I love that about you, man. What, what do you feel was the turning point? So cuz, like I said, you're looking amazing now, mate. And everything's, everything's going. Yeah, it's going incredible. We've got Cozy coming up. I can't wait to be at the top of the mountain with you, mate, and just. Wow, that's going to be just the, the, the energy up there. It's, it is, it is something different. You cannot describe it, especially with the cohort that we'll have up there. It's. Yeah, I think it's very spiritual personally, being up there at that top point, conquering something with a group of aligned men. Can't wait for that, mate. But what do you feel is a turning point, bro? Yeah. Do you remember it? Do you remember the switch where things just started to go in your favor and you started to build brick by brick like there, walk us through that.

So it was on a Instagram reel, this guy in the uk and he has a wild type. Wild type brain tumor. He's still alive. He runs a free program for cancer patients. So he has the same tumor as me, but a wild type, which is the like the rarest one in the world and the most lethal. Now he is same size as me, but he's absolutely shredded. He's still living. And I've followed that program health wise that for me, seeing someone, and we spoke about it before, seeing someone with the worst thing than me still living meant I can do it too. Why not? If it's achievable for someone that's going through something worse, why is mine so bad? Of course I can get through it. You know, of course it's, it's bad, but it's not as bad as his. So I guess that was the, the, the main turning point for me. It was like, you know what? I haven't had a six pack since I was like 13, but that doesn't really count. It's. I, I just wanted to, I don't know, I just got this drive. Like, you know what this, I'm, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna achieve what I want to now, not what anyone else wants. Dude, it's like I'm living for me, I'm living for, for my wife and my kids. But most of all, I'm not missing out on anything. And it becomes a selfish thing. It's really, I, I'm, I'm, I need to be selfish in this moment because I need to take over and that's what I did. So that was a, probably the biggest turning point for me. Seeing someone going through something worse. And here I am feeling sorry for myself and it's fully achievable. You know, there's so many little things in life that we just judge ourselves for, but we just look at the other person that's achieved it. We want, we always want something that's something someone else has. We just got no idea the work he's gone through. Do we really want to have that journey to get to his point? Probably not. Who knows how many marriages he's gone through or how many people friends he's lost along the way. For him being selfish to achieve what he wanted. And I guess that's what I just needed to do. I needed to stop, stop sort of giving and saying yes to everyone and saying yes to my, myself for the, for I guess the three, four months of being on it. And it's just an absolute game changer. Like, you know, I'm feeling good, I look good, my wife says I look good. So it's just like, it's awesome, you know, it's really cool. So yeah, I guess that was the turning point for me.

It doesn't come without the work though, bro. What, what's your normal routine? Like? What do you, what are you currently doing? Like, yeah, take us through I guess a day in the life of Aiden and processes. And.

So at the moment I get up still every morning, 3:30, I have my morning prayer. I do my own meditation, my own sort of self awareness. I like, I sit there in darkness and silence and I'll scan my body, scan my thoughts because I want to be more in touch with Who I am sounds a bit hippie dippy, but it works. You need to be in tune with your body and how you're feeling and, you know, stretching out every day. But then I don't have my first meal until lunchtime so usually it's a pretty big meal at lunch and I only have one meal a day because I've learned that I've got to put my body in a starvation mode. But a sort of happy medium to, to kill off everything in my body. So I just have one massive meal a day. But throughout the day and it's gradually so I just do sets of push ups, I'll do sets of sit ups. So this is while I'm at the shop as well. So I work from 10 to 5 most days at a shop. So while customers aren't walking in and out, I'll get down and pump out some push ups and, and things like that. Hopefully I'm not too sweaty for them. Doesn't matter, it's Queensland.

Whatever.

Apologies anyone, but yeah. And then so I get to take my daughter to school now. So she, she goes to a different school. She was having some really big troubles at school so we've moved her out into a school near us. So I get to spend time with my daughter in the morning, which is something I've never done before. She's incredible. And then in the afternoon she, she walks back to the shop and she helps out there. So I've got time with my daughter now that I've never had. And it's, it's really cool seeing her grow up, you know, becoming a teenager. But yeah, then we sort of come home and we've made it so we, we watch an episode together, one episode of tv of Modern Family we've been watching at the moment and we watch that all together as a family and we just talk, we watch fish tanks. You know, it's just a really, nothing's ever super planned out but I do stick to my routine. So I pretty much work out all day long and I eat one meal a day and I do that seven times every single day. Like I, I've missed a couple of days here and there. I've stopped doing my ice baths just because it was just like, while I was super skinny, it was just like hypothermia mode. It was really bad. So now that I've put on weight again, I did my first ice bath the other day and it was, it's hard getting back. Like, oof. It's really hard getting back. So I started back at 8 degrees even that's still cold. But yeah, I've always try and make sure I get that done because if I don't, I feel like I'm just out of place as a man. I feel like I have to have a routine and I have to achieve that. It's not just ticking boxes. It's for me, if I tell myself something, I'm gonna do it and if I don't do it, I'm falling short in an area, then I need to work on it. So that really made me sort of build up. But that's sort of a day in the life of Aiden. It's nothing. Nothing special. It's really just self awareness and being present with either my customers or, or my family and myself. So it's. It's been pretty good lately.

I'd call that special, bro. What is special? The shiny object or a quick fix? Everything you mentioned that. That sounds may sound sacred. How awesome. It's not to rebuttal your point of view. You're just being too humble, man. That's awesome. That's. You look at life like the greatest things in the world are the fundamentals nailed with purpose and, and people.

That's right. And it's got to be for a purpose, you know, it can't just be anything. It's to be for purpose.

And on your fees now, man, you definitely come across as someone who wants to give as much as he can to others. You mentioned earlier, I just want to meet lots of people and help lots of people and more people. But you don't have to. This podcast is proof of that, man. You've helped so many people you never meet. You don't have to meet them to have an impact. So with this session, with the time that we have left today.

I'd love.

To flesh a bit of that out with you, man. Like wisdom, life lessons, advice, some valuable tools and perspectives. I guess like you, you have plenty of time with people and in solitude. But what does anything come to mind or just thinking through that?

What.

What are some really powerful life lessons and wisdom that you'd love to share? And some golden nuggets for the, for the men listening today. Look, a lot of our men, they've got their teenage sons listening to this now as well. Man. How awesome. It's. I'll have to be conscious of the swears now, but it's. It's just the passion. But I look honestly man, like, it's, it's far reaching your.

Your.

Your life and your legacy already. So I'd love to keep that going with, with getting some of Aiden's, you know, set of Al's insights, Aiden's insights and wisdom. And it's been an awesome session, mate, but I know you've got so much to give, man.

Yeah, look, I wrote something down just as like a. I guess a final thought. You know, you asked me that last time and I said, you know, you got to lift your head out of the sand and lift your head and see the beauty in the world. And that stuck with a lot of people. And that for me was probably the most powerful thing. But I've. Over the journey I've met a lot of guys that just really struggle with just trying to find something, just one direction, just to going. So this is what I've written down and it says if you don't know what to pursue in life right now, pursue yourself. Just pursue becoming the healthiest, happiest, most healed person, most present, most confident version of yourself and then the right path, you will find it. I think that's a big thing because there's a lot of guys out there that just got no idea where to go. They don't know where to start on their journey. But I think the biggest thing that I've learned is if I just worked on myself at the start and pursued myself, then there's so many things that come along with that in a way. So, yeah, that's pretty much what I've written down. I guess the guys that are struggling with, we're trying to find something to do. It's been like, obviously it's been a hard journey for me, but just, I've just learned not to doubt myself. Like we've all got skills that we have acquired over the years. We've had passions and we've had hobbies and we've put them to the side. But for what? Was it for money? Was it for supposed more time with family? I guess Try and bring those passions back into your life and it's going to fulfill your life a lot more. I've just learned to be happy. Just be happy with what you've got. Don't measure yourself against anyone else. Just be you. Like that's the simplest thing. Just be you. You know, we got told that by, I got told that by my mum all, all the time. Just be you. Don't be someone else. And you know, we always put masks on, masks on when growing up and things like that and that. For me it doesn't fly anymore. I am who I am and I'll happily sit down take a phone call from anyone. But then I'm also learned to say no. So you know we talk about the chief, the panda, you know, and the Viking and I think I've achieved all three pretty well. There's probably some things I definitely need to work on especially. Yeah there's definitely, definitely a few things I need to work on there. But nailing those three is, is, is the journey in itself I guess. You know you're never going to achieve all three to perfection. And life isn't about achieving perfection because what is perfection? No one knows. No one can say they're perfect. So yeah, just keep striving for yourself and your world because that's all that matters at the end of the day. I've learned that people don't really care about other people. They don't. You know, we're very sort of cruel beings I guess in a way we're very selfish. But I've just learned to just to love, love myself and love other people. I love listening. So yeah, that's, yeah that's pretty much it. I, yeah just want people to pursue themselves for their own world. It doesn't have to be for anyone but you because at the end of the day it's all that matters. You and your family.

Isn't ironic when it comes from the right place, mate. That's what gives those closest to you loving care about the best anyway.

That's right.

It's so funny you know, selfing. Shannon Brenton calls it. One of our experts. Selfie, not selfish. I was like oh yeah, it's a good one because only because that term selfish has that. But you're right man. Everything we do, we're self centered creatures. What can we do through to doing it for selves to give our family the best of us, not just the.

Rest of us, the scraps just. And he. It can be silent. Put your arm around your child. That alone for that kid could mean so much. You don't know if you don't ask. You're never not going to know what they went through that day. But that, that little bit of touch, that little bit of presentness, it's gonna change, change the world. Yeah. Be a little bit more softer. I guess in a way it's. Well it's softer. I mean I said it the other day perfectly to Kathy. Yeah it was just being like not spatial awareness but feeling awareness, you know what I mean? Just pick up on people's vibes and put your own aside for a second and really feel, you know, other people's vibes because that's when you really start to learn.

Yes, I completely agree. Do you have any poems there as well, mate? You've been writing some of your own poems and I got heaps sharing them with the crew. They are phenomenal.

I got quite a few. Yeah. I'm actually in the. I'm trying to get some enough together to get like a thousand hard copies out. So I've got enough. I've got 45 poems there that we're going to publish. So it's going to be pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be epic. But yeah, it's. I mean, I just love. It's just, it's. And it's a reflection of life, isn't it? That's where my poetry comes from. It's. It's just me expressing life and what I've dealt with, what I've seen and if it can help someone, some words, you know, and I was always scared of writing poetry but I love it so I'll keep doing it.

Poetry is phenomenal, man. I used to write all the time when I was a kid. Yeah, loved it, loved it. Yeah. Really cool. What are you looking forward to most about Cozy, mate? I'm just curious. Yeah, it's. I've spoke about how awesome it'll be. I can't wait to see. And over 100 men up there at the top of the mountain, fist pumping.

How good.

But yeah, what are you looking forward to most men? About Cozy?

To see how far everyone's come. Because there's been a lot of guys there that I wasn't expecting to go to Cozy and they've made the commitment and I really wanted to see how far they're. They're going and the direction they're going in. And just listening to the stories about achievements, you know, we don't get to sort of hear that often enough, I guess, you know, switch on the news and it's always shit. So coming to a place like Cozy, just full of energy, full of, you know, I don't know how much energy that's going to be in that ice river. Then we're going to be few little screaming, screaming women in there. But, you know, everything's achievable. So I think most for me, just. Just the connection just. I get the. I get the buzz from the guys. Honestly, it's not even me going up the mountain. It's seeing other people go up it. I think that's what I get out of it. It's nothing to do with me. It's like, I want to be there during them all. I want to be there at the end four, you know, and then I want to race coach Ed up. So we'll see how that goes.

You'll beat him, mate. If you haven't seen Ed's quads lately, mate, he hasn't been putting the work in. It diminished.

So surprising. I'm not surprised.

Share the podcast Share the podcast with Ed. He'll play this while he's in the gym now, man. He'll leg press, like, probably 400 kilos or something.

Yeah, 100. He will be. That's all right. That's not a problem. But, yeah, look, posy at the end of the day is just going to be phenomenal, isn't it? I mean, it just gets better and better each year. I wasn't there last year, but just the energy from everyone that came back was just insane and it was infectious. And it's like, now I want to go, like, it's. It's the same FOMO that I get, you know, throughout my journey. I don't want to miss out on it. And if this is the opportunity that I get, then scrap it by the balls and just go, you know, a little bit of training, it's not going to hurt. The mountain's probably going to hurt, but it's going to be worth it.

Yes. I've got no doubt, no doubt, mate, that you'll smash it. It'll be interesting, you know, double the men last year. So everything's a lot of planning. Holy moly, man. So much planning and logistics. But, yeah, I'm confident we'll pull it off and it'll be even better than last year. So that's. That, that's nice, because I do feel for the men who, you know, like, you mentioned having a tribe of half a thousand. It's. Yeah, obviously lots miss out and it's. It's a tough one to. People have said before, mate, you could just run back to back. So you could. You could run them. It's like, man, you don't. Like, like I'm cooked, man. Like, it's physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Like, I just wait. We throw everything at it, man. And you just. You can't. You can't do it one week and rest for a few days, then do it again for another week, you know, four, five, six days. It's, it's. And I do. I do it for that reason. I want to put everything into it and then go the full 100, which is why you can't describe It. It's not like a. With respect. It's not a yoga retreat with, with music and stretching and vegan food or like. It's not. It's not that. It's not the. It's not the little things. It's the deeper things that immerse out of it. You know, we nail all that stuff, the. The food, the experiences, the surprises. But it's that collective of men. Men take. Yeah, it's draining and. And exhilarating at the same time.

Oh, yeah. You'd come away feeling extremely physically drained, but then also want to, I guess, a. Just a different. Different frequency to everyone else. You know, you can take all that hurt in, I guess, but then have so much. Yeah. It's sort of hard to explain, isn't. It's a. Yeah, it's a different feeling. But I'm. I'm really looking forward to it. I'll definitely be there, Karen. And run up the mountain.

That's it, mate.

That's it.

Give it a piggyback.

Yeah. Yeah. When his quads fail. Yeah, that's right.

Ed said he was gonna. Ed said he was gonna lunge up the mountain. So was it 14k's up 7 back 2 and a half thousand incline? It'd be right. But no, it's true. Yeah. I grew up, mate. It was so lucky. I'm so glad it ended when it did last year because I ended up just at the start of the morning with the tingles and ended up with a massive cold sore. Like just the. We did the stress, right. And the depletion.

Yeah.

Like the boys lift you up, so it's not like I'm. I'm dragging my feet like we're pumping every day. But then on the drive, on the drive home, I'm literally watching this thing just grow out of my lip as I'm driving. I'm like, oh, man, this is. That was brutal. I get home and Quinn's like, hell, what the. That on your face. But yeah, it's well worth. Well worth it. Can't wait, man. And logistically, if we nail this, yeah, we'll be able to have more of the tribes for next year, which will be even crazier again. But. But what I'm excited about though, mate, is despite it being double the size of last year, with 120 men, it'll. It's actually going to be even more intimate and personal in last year too, which is pretty cool. So that's. That sounds like a bit of a mystery, but. No, it's not. It's not, not a mystery or a trick. It's just how we've, how we've structured things, which would be epic. Be epic. What a session, man. I hope you guys have gotten some. Well, I know you've gotten some inspiration, but I hope you've gotten some really valuable, actionable things too. Even Aiden's routine, even the, the discipline. But discipline long enough until it becomes habit. Knowing habits aren't always 100 executable. But like you said, mate, you miss a day here or there, but the percentages are in your favor. I speak about this with decisive leadership, boys. You know, it's one of the core eights around relationships, especially with your wife. They, they crave that decisive leadership. Even if you're only right 70 to 90% of the time, if you make three decisions, you write two out of three so you're right twice as much as you're wrong. So, so you know, it's a powerful thing. Make decisions, follow through on it. And then as you do that, you carving the path instead of standing by waiting for someone else to show you a path and carve it for you. Which, like I said on last episode, success does not come looking for you. It will not find you. Aidan, you're extremely successful, man. You continue to be nothing short of inspirational in the whole, the entirety of your life, family, self and service. So thank you, man. Thank you for being part of HBF and for being the light and showing the way despite circumstances which others might look and compare to see much worse than theirs. Yet here you are, setting the standard. How cool. But any closing thoughts? Mate yourself as we, as we wrap it up? I really enjoy this, mate. Thank you. It's been, it's been awesome.

I just want to say thank you. Thank you for having me again. Thanks for, you know, bringing me into hpf. I mean, not many people decide to do it with a few months to live, 212 month program. But I tell you what, when you put in the work, this is the rewards you get, then it's that it's not just, you know, money's a factor, but it's life is. Life is so much more, so much more than money. And what you get out of this is absolutely incredible. Like this is life. If you put the work in, you get life back. That's definitely what I've learned. Life within yourself, life within your kids. And you can see it, you can see change and you know, like you said, decisive actions. My wife sees me make decisions in a split, split second now. And that's just What? She. She's like, okay, well, you've been right before. Let's do it again. And that's just how we do. It's. It's awesome. Absolutely awesome. So, yeah, no, thanks. Thanks for having me. Definitely.

Incredible men. Creating something from nothing. Something from nothing, you know, that's what we all have. That's what we all have, that opportunity. Yeah. A few months left and then here you are nearly a thousand days later.

Yeah, statistics. Hey, that's just shows. I mean, we are all individual, but it's. How much are we going to put in to the life that we have now? The question how much are you willing to put in? Because if you're not willing to put in, you'll get the minimum back. So, you know, put in some work. Put in some work even for yourself.

Because it's worth it. This will be our tradition, mate, the first of spring. What do you reckon? Yeah, 15 months. With good reason. We wanted to choose on.

Got the shirts right?

Yes. How good? How good? I won't. Yeah, I won't leave 15 months, mate. We'll pop it in the calendar. I think every year is. Every year, a year, a day later. Other than. So we got. We got five years, mate, before the weekend. And then we'll just look in book in a weekend, mate. Block it out.

That'd be good.

Oh, it's Mum and Dad's anniversary too. I better send him a message anyway. That's right, mate. What a great day to do it. Spring. New life. Every day. Every day, new life.

That's right.

Thank you, mate. Yeah, appreciate it. It's been an honor. And thank you men for listening. I'll see you on the next one.