Hinesh Chauhan explains how separated parents can co-parent effectively by sharing information about their kids, preventing them from playing one parent against the other, and avoiding conflict over small costs. He estimates parents waste energy fighting over $200-300 a year in minor expenses and shares how coordinated parenting fixed his child's attitude problem.
Questions this video answers
February 10, 2023.
Approximately $20–$50 per item, totaling around $200–$300 per year (speaker's personal average).
Chapters
They know they can play one parent off the other. They're going to create a divide between the two parents because kids will manipulate you. Trust me. They're smart and they're sneaky. Let's get started. Hi, I'm Hanish Chohan. Welcome to decent Divorce Dads. Today we're going to be talking about co parenting and conflict. Let's get started. Having another parent to your children, well it's very necessary because it takes two people to make a child. But when you're not together, your parenting styles are different no matter what. You've got very different parenting styles and each of you has a different effect on your kids and therefore they have a different nature behavior in either household. It's so important to be able to share the behaviors. And the same goes for sharing costs. Not everyone will chase after the other partner to get that cost of the yearbook you just paid for or that field trip or the set of new shoes. And in the grand scheme of things, creating conflict or allowing conflict to happen for maybe 20 to $50 to a grand total of 200 to $300 a year is what I've averaged over the course of my post separation life. It's not worth chasing after them. If you have an agreement and you can get it, that's great. But don't let that stop you from proactively sharing your kids behaviors, understanding what they're doing well or not well in your house, it's important to know to their mom and it's important so that they're not playing each of you. And if they know they can play one parent off the other, they're going to create a divide between the two parents because kids will manipulate you. Trust me, they're smart and they're sneaky. But stop that, prevent that, share that information. And what happens is it creates this dialogue. And despite the stress, tension and conflict that may have existed between myself and my ex wife, that has dissipated over time. And we now have regular conversations and check ins about the kids. Hey, he's doing this at my place. Is he doing it at your place? And just recently I'm really proud to learned that my ex wife called me to say that our boy had less attitude. And he doesn't have that attitude with me because I do not accept a second of it. But when I learned it was happening at his mom's, I had a firm talk with him and said that's how do you feel that's acceptable. And we had a very open conversation about it and I told him to stop it. Or there would be consequences. And it worked. So to share those behaviors, those challenges, both parents can then work together to parent your kids collectively, even though you're apart. So avoid the conflict, pick your battles, and understand what's productive, and go for what allows you to communicate and raise your kids together, yet separately. That's integrity. Lead with integrity. I really hope you enjoyed that, guys. And if you did, please remember to, like, follow and subscribe. And if you found it was helpful, please share it.
