Hinesh Chauhan explains why he regularly asks his kids if he's doing anything that hurts them or if they want him to change. His sarcastic teasing sometimes crosses a line, so checking in helps set boundaries and makes them feel safe reaching out when they need help.
I'm fairly sarcastic and I crack a lot of jokes and I tease my kids. They tease me too. So I don't feel too bad for them. Let's get started. Hi, I'm Hinesh Chohan. This is Decent divorced dads. Today we're going to be talking about checking in with your kids. Let's get started. Your kids are like your clients, right? And you'd like them to be returning clients, referring to others. How awesome is it to know that your kids are telling their friends, my dad is awesome. I love that I get to do this with them or that with them. I don't know if that's true. I'll have to ask my kids later if they do that. I'd like to think they do. But I don't know what I may be doing that's hurting them or that bothers them and is really becomes a harmful act over time. Anything that may break trust or respect is going to damage that dynamic and that relationship you have between you and your kids. For me, that is by far the most important relationship or relationships I have in my life. And I want to have the dynamic in relationship with my kids where they can open up to me at any time, where they're at a party and they're drunk or others are drunk and they want me to come pick them up and they're not scared to tell me that. So I check in with my kids once in a while and I ask them, is there anything I'm doing that you wish I wouldn't do or is there something you wish I would do more of and open up that dialogue. At first when I started this line of questioning, they looked at me weird and is this guy for real? Like does he really want me to tell him this or that? And they did. As one opened up, the other opened up more. And something that comes up kind of regularly, which I'm not proud to admit is I'm fairly sarcastic and I crack a lot of jokes and I tease my kids. They tease me too. So I don't feel too bad for them. But sometimes I take it too far with one of them because one's more thick skinned than the other. And so she, or he, she tells me that I don't like it when you do this and it's important for me to hear at first. It's like really in my head, I don't make that reaction. But I listen and think, okay, I need to stop doing that. I need to be more easy on her. And, and I actually remind her, why don't you just please tell me when I've gone too far with my ridiculous jokes? When it happens so I catch myself. She catches me, and it's cute. It really creates this nice level of trust and openness between us. And I know my boundaries, and it just allows for us to live together in harmony. So I implore you, sit down with your kids, take a quiet moment and share with them. Hey. I hope I'm not doing anything that hurts you. Is there anything I could be doing better? Is there anything I should stop doing? So keep being a good dad. Lead with integrity. I really hope you enjoyed that, guys. And if you did, please remember to, like, follow and subscribe. And if you found it was helpful, please share it.
