Hinesh Chauhan on men blindsided by divorce: women initiate 70% of them, shock scrambles your thinking, and avoidance through alcohol or weed just delays the pain. The way out is talking to coaches, therapists, friends, and staying honest with your ex.
70%
So the story goes, the reality of life is that women initiate 70% of divorces, which means they've had the lead time to process it, to mourn it, to get their ducks in a row. And when it hits us, it hits us. And depending on how you react to these things, your different personality style, personality traits, your various childhood life traumas will impact you and come to the surface. And it's going to be hard because all of a sudden you're put in a situation that you have not been able to prepare for and it's only natural that it's going to be challenging and you won't be able to think straight for some time. That cognitive load on your brain affects how you're able to make decisions. And it doesn't get cleared up in a short amount of time. It doesn't get cleared up with any amount of alcohol or weed. And that pain doesn't disapp either, or that stress or anxiety. Unless you actually deal with that. Process it, face it. And the best way to do that is to lean on people, get the support, short circuit the process to get to where you need to be by getting the help. Seek out a coach, talk to friends, talk to people that have gone through it, talk to a therapist, a psychologist, a counselor, whatever. You need to not stay in that place. Because let me tell you, being in that place is not fun nor healthy. It doesn't benefit you, doesn't benefit your kids, nor does it benefit anyone around you. So when you feel shitty, when you feel overwhelmed, when you're in that situation, seek out the help. And it's okay to say to your ex partner, ugh, this is hard. I don't know where to start. You will get the best results and the best support if you're just transparent and honest with while being respectful and empathetic to others. And share what you need, share what you're feeling so that they also know what you're going through and understand the challenges you're having.
