Four strategies for coaches to connect on camera: use bullet points instead of scripts, share embarrassing personal stories, stop imitating other speakers like Eric Thomas, and admit your mistakes openly. Authenticity and presence beat polished performance.
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Most business owners want to speak authentically, but the moment they turn that camera on and press record, they start performing as if they're trying to win a Grammy. Now, showing up authentically isn't about showing up perfectly. It's about being present in that moment as you are, and it's not about trying to manage how you're being perceived. So in this video, I'm going to break down the 4 ways business owners can start showing up authentically. Speak more naturally, and build a real connection with their audience. Now, here's the first way: stop speaking with a script. My public speaking journey started back when I was in 5th grade. From 5th grade all the way to my senior year in high school, I was actively involved in public speaking competitions, and we were conditioned to write out our speeches, remember them word for word, and present them just like that. Now, the problem with trying to read from a script is that you're not present in the moment because your brain is too occupied trying to remember what's the next word for you to say. And this is how I tried to create my earliest videos. I would write them out. I would try to remember them word for word, and when I couldn't, I would get disappointed. And because I would try to remember them word for word and I would just try to say what needs to be said, no one was able to build a real connection with me. Why? Because I wasn't in the moment. I wasn't naturally appearing as I am. I wasn't expressing myself as I often am. And that's the problem with reading word from word and trying to script all your videos. Now, the better alternative to scripting videos is to write out bullet points, write out the main points of what you want to say, and attach stories to every main point. The power of storytelling is that it builds connection. Why? Because the more you share more about yourself, the more people realize, oh, I have that in common with him, or man, I went through that as well. Another powerful aspect of storytelling is that you don't have to remember those. You don't have to script them out because you live those moments. So just express exactly what was going on, what you were thinking in those moments, and lessons that you learned within those moments. That is the better alternative to scripting out your videos word for word and trying to memorize them only to come up short because your brain doesn't have the capacity to remember all the information. And it knows that it's no use of trying to remember all the information because it knows that you're not going to use it long enough. It doesn't see the reason to store that information for long term because it knows that that's, that's short-term information that you need to remember. Don't be afraid to show vulnerable. On camera. I often share the story that I wasted 827 days creating excuses, wasting time, and procrastinating before I could get to the point of creating content. And a huge reason was because I feared being judged. And like, can I be transparent with you right now? I feared the judgment of my own family so much that I would go on social media platforms and block them because it felt better to prevent them from seeing those videos and judging me. Now, I often share this story because I understand that me being vulnerable and sharing something that's embarrassing of what I used to do, I understand that people can relate to that, of fearing the judgment of others and making irrational decisions because of that fear. Because if you don't take control of fear, fear will gladly take control of you. With me being more vulnerable and sharing that, sharing that moment and other stuff that I had going on, people are able to realize, oh my goodness, I'm experiencing that as well, or I went through that as well. I thought I was the only one. That builds connection. Vulnerability builds connection because it allows people to relate to you. So it actually works in your advantage rather than being a disadvantage. You see, oftentimes many people afraid being vulnerable on camera. Because they don't want to be judged. They don't want people to talk negative about them. They don't want people to think negative about them. But it takes courage and confidence to be vulnerable on camera and to share your embarrassing moments. And people not only build a connection because they can relate to that, but they also respect that because sometimes people realize that I couldn't say that and admit to that. So that's, that's powerful of him or her to be able to do that, to share what was going on within their lives and the thoughts that they were having and the actions that they were taking. Now, I ain't telling you to tell all your business. Now, you share what you want to share. I ain't trying to tell you to tell Victoria's Secret. Be mindful of what you share, but don't be afraid to be vulnerable and share information that can help build a real authentic connection with your audience. Stop trying to sound like someone else. When you try to show up as someone else, How do you expect to show up and speak authentically when you're not showing up as who you are in the present moment? A few years ago, I had the privilege to be asked to speak at my gym, and in the midst of me speaking, I thought that it would be cool. What if I tried to sound like Eric Thomas? Now, I don't know why that dumb idea came to mind, but I thought that, you know what, in this moment I need to express some power. And how better to express that than to speak? Like one of the greatest powerful speakers of all time. So in the midst of me trying to speak with the power and raspiness of the voice like Eric Thomas, my voice betrayed me. My throat gave out on me and I started choking in the middle of me speaking and I ain't had no water on standby, so I had to swallow my spit to get some moisture in my mouth. Now, that's an extreme example of why you shouldn't try to speak like someone else. But the problem with speaking like someone else is that, like I said earlier, you're not showing up naturally as you are. So with you not being authentic and true to who you are, people aren't able— they don't have the ability to build that real connection with you. If they want to listen to Eric Thomas, they might as well listen to the real thing than the imposter that I tried to be. And oftentimes we try to speak like someone else because we admire the qualities and the aspects of how they speak, and we recognize how they leverage that to be able to speak with power and conviction. Conviction. But the problem is, is that there's, there's a certain group of people that only you can speak to based on who you are. It will be in your best interest to speak to them the way that you are than trying to speak and show up as someone else. When I tried to speak like Eric in that moment, I lost those guys immediately because they can tell that that wasn't my way of talking. And I felt embarrassed within that moment as well. I don't know if you ever seen a show called Game of Thrones. But there's a scene where one of the main characters, she has to walk through the streets, and unfortunately she has to walk through the streets naked. And there's a religious woman behind her with a bell in her hand and saying, "Shame, shame, shame." And that's how I felt in that moment. I was ashamed of myself for trying to speak like someone else rather than who I was. And I missed the opportunity to build a real connection. With those guys who I was presenting in front of. So speak who you are, because that authentic way of how you speak is how you can build that connection, because people will be able to relate to you. Hold yourself accountable. I believe that accountability has become a lost trait amongst humans, and there's nothing that deserves more respect than the individual who is willing to admit that I was in the wrong and I apologize, or I made a mistake. And by admitting to the fact that you're imperfect, you're they're showing up authentically on camera. And that, of course, leads to that connection that you're looking to build. Now, I ain't telling you to admit everything you done did wrong, you know, share what you need to share, what's relevant to your audience, but hold yourself accountable. Admit that you made a mistake. Admit that you're not perfect. Admit that you made a dumb decision. I will admit that it was a dumb decision back then for me to block my family on social media platforms because first of all, I got a big family. And I wasn't gonna get every last one of them. And unfortunately, well, fortunately, I didn't. The family members who did see my videos, they were encouraging rather than discouraging. Also, with me blocking those, blocking them on those platforms and preventing them from seeing my videos, I was doing them a disservice because with me posting self-help and positive content, I was robbing them of the value that could have helped them with whatever they was going through in life. So I will admit, I will hold myself accountable that that was a foolish decision to make. And by me admitting firsthand that I'm not perfect and I made mistakes and I made a huge mistake in it, I won't even say it was a huge mistake. It was more borderline a dumb decision. I can admit to that, that it was a dumb decision. And by me admitting to that, I'm showing up authentically and that allows my audience to build a connection with me. If you want to speak more naturally on camera, if you want to stop showing up perfectly or attempting to show up perfectly on camera, stop using scripts in your video. Hold yourself accountable. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable and stop trying to sound like someone else. If you do these 4 things, you'll speak more authentically on camera and you'll build a real connection with your audience.
