Building a Personal Development Plan

Hi everybody. Thanks for taking a few minutes to be with us today. This video is about the closure of effort that you've made taking an in Learning series, a JLC in Learning series focusing on resiliency and change. So we're happy you're here. And to set the stage for our conversation today, you're going to hear from my colleague and friend, Colleen Sullivan, who is truly a superior executive coach and consultant in this work that we do around conversational leadership. So Colleen set the stage for us today.

Sure, absolutely. I think many of us have been in a place where we've attended a training. We've listened to a keynote speaker, even watched a TED Talk or a video done so something to learn a new way to approach a problem or develop our capabilities. And at this point, the focus of this is really to support you because many times we take a training and while we find it interesting and hopefully fun, we, I don't know, we kind of forget that the intention and purpose is to shift and change our behavior and how it is, what it is we're doing in our day to day. So the intention and purpose of this is to really support you in developing a plan, a personal development plan, along with some committed actions. So you are very intentionally taking the theories, methods and tools that you've learned with us over the past several weeks, really embedding them into your personal practical knowledge so you can transfer them into your daily practice. So you see a shift and a change through this program that you've been part of this program and journey that you've been on with us in the last several weeks.

This is really good, Colleen. What has happened to me in my lifetime? And I was a very intentional go to this training, go to this keynote speaker, go hear this person. I did it all the time. And as the months and years went by, I became frustrated because, boy, that was a great talk and boy, those are great ideas and I didn't always transfer those to my practice. So our focus in this last set of sessions that you went to was about how to deal with change and how to deal with the change in a way that you feel resilient even when you get knocked down and even when things don't go exactly as you had hoped. So we thought we'd take a few minutes with you and talk about how to make sure the changes that I want to see happen in myself actually happen. What do I need to do, what will enable that to happen, and how do I practice in a way that I can see progress. So those are really the two big pieces in this part that we're doing here today. Colleen, what are you thinking right now?

Yeah, well, I'm really thinking about the intentionality of keeping what it is I'm trying to achieve top of mind. And so it's, what is it, where am I going, what is it that I'm trying to achieve? And then also thinking about simultaneously what am I doing every day to ensure that I am intentionally doing something different. Otherwise I'm going to hope, which is not a strategy, I'm going to hope that I achieve this change or, or enhanced my capabilities, which is perhaps each person has a different thing, a different reason around change and resiliency, why they chose to attend our session. So whatever that is they're trying to accomplish, how can we support them? And as they think about that, what it is they're trying to accomplish, along with how are they going to stay focused and intentional about their day to day activities to ensure they are making the shifts, they are transferring these things into daily practice.

So I think I need to say this up front based on Colleen's words just then. And you heard this in the course, you heard this in the, in the webinars that we've done. If you want to change something about yourself, you need to spend time in reflection. So this is an opportunity for you to reflect with us about changes that you might make. And I will actually talk to Colleen about that as we go forward. And there's lots of spaces where she can talk to me or I can talk to her about things I've changed in myself and the effort it took to get there. So resiliency is being knocked down and getting up again, having a challenge, having a problem and not becoming a victim of the problem or a victim of the challenge. And recognizing this is part of my journey. And everybody's journey is a little bit different. So when I say this is something we should all change, I don't really mean that it is something that I should change. And I invite you to pay attention to this in the context of what's something about me that I'd like to practice that would enable me to get the results that I want about dealing with myself, changing my own belief system, or making sure that in my next leadership conversation, everybody gets what they want out of that conversation. So that's the intention of this and clear recognition that each of you is on a different leadership journey. You're all not the same. Thank God you bring your own personal, practical knowledge to the game. And that is something I want to Keep reinforcing as we go forward. With that said, our company has a logo. I'm going to use half the logo to kind of hold us together in this conversation right now. So it's a very simple thing, and I invite you to draw it with me. It's a triangle. And when we draw the triangle, we always talk about what's on top of the triangle. On top of the triangle is the result that you want. Some people call it an end state, a success condition. There's lots of ways to talk about it, but it's the result that I want. And then what would be evidence that we got there? So too often people show up saying, show me a technique. Show me a way to do something that I don't do. Now, that's a fair question. It becomes less important and less impactful unless I know where it is I'm trying to get. So we need to be able to say, this is the result I'm trying to. To get to. And this would be evidence that I get there. Colleen, do you have examples of that from your own experience of things you wanted to shift and change?

Sure, I guess I can talk a little bit about. One of the ones that I wanted to shift and change was I wanted to. When I was teaching, I was teaching in the classroom, a K12 environment, and I recognized that I wanted to get an additional certification, and that was so I could teach English as a second language. So what I wanted to do, the result was, you know, I wanted to enhance, really, my portfolio as a teacher, so it would expand my employment opportunities.

So what I'm hearing you say then, is you were teaching, and you wanted to be able to teach in a broader spectrum, teach a larger variety of young people. So the result you wanted was to enhance your credibility as a professional educator. And one of the things that I heard you say, the result of that is to show an additional accreditation. So evidence that you were ready to teach a broader base of kids showed up in the certificate that you were after, is that right?

Yeah, absolutely. And it was a requirement. You want to expand your credibility as a teacher, you continue to get additional certifications to teach a broader spectrum of students.

So, and this is really a harder question, but before you got that certificate, did you have the necessary personal, practical knowledge to teach that larger set of kids, or did you feel that had to be enhanced?

I definitely felt like it needed to be enhanced because there were certain things I didn't know. Right. You develop your receptive vocabulary very quickly, and yet, many times it's difficult for them to begin to speak and engage and speak English. So how are ways to engage to make people feel equal, Students included in the classroom? And I definitely did not have the personal practical knowledge nor the background because my first language is English. So I definitely needed some additional training.

I like that a lot. So here's something, ladies and gentlemen, listening. I want you to notice Colleen established for herself a current reality. This was her current practice and her current ppk, and for her wasn't enough. She wanted more. So she wanted to enhance her PPK and enhance her capabilities to teach young people English as a second language. Okay, so that is where creative tension comes from. And we spoke about that in the seminar. So this is not a frumpy or esoteric idea. It's like, this is the current reality. I know this much. I want to get better so I can actually teach more effectively. So I'm choosing to chase down a certificate that would say to me and to others, Colleen is ready to go to this next level. This is really important to notice that she had some ppk, but in her mind, her personal practical knowledge was not enough to impact kids the way she wanted to. So what she did is she went ahead. The action she took was to go to school, and she went to school in order to produce evidence that her result, the ability to actually teach more effectively, a broader set of kids would be right there in front of everyone, and she would be able to be assigned by her principal or head of school, wherever she was, to a larger group of young people where she could have more impact. Colleen, how am I doing? Am I making sense out of this for you?

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I like that. It's recognizing your current reality and then.

Recognizing you feel that creative tension.

Absolutely. And then knowing that what I have right now is. Isn't getting me what I want. And I think that's the big piece as we fall back into connecting that to our personal development plan. Right. Once again, each person, as you mentioned, has a result they're trying to achieve. That's why they took this course. They recognized within themselves, perhaps I need to enhance my PPK in some areas around change and resilience.

This for me, that you beautifully stated that. So when I was beginning to do this work as a leader, I had an idea about what the right thing was to do, and I developed blind spots towards people giving me ideas that were not mine. So my current ppk, I hung onto it as though it was like the truth. And I didn't let other people. People into my space. So I needed to develop my ability to listen more effectively, look for other ideas, recognize that I am creating a little key truth about what should happen and what should go forward. And the result was I never really moved to a new space when I began to learn how to listen effectively. The simple guidelines that we did with you, if I listen to understand, all of a sudden, as long as my little subconscious doesn't get in my way, I can learn new ways to do things. So I don't necessarily have to go to school to do that. I could go Colleen. I had this client the other day, and I felt like I hit a wall. And here are the things that I did, and I got stuck, and I didn't know where to go. I didn't know how to pivot to something else. And I recognize that's my ppk. My personal practical knowledge allowed me to have my coaching conversation to a point. But then I got stuck and I needed to call you and say, tell you what happened honestly, transparently, with great vulnerability so that you could say, ray, there are other ideas for you moving forward. This is an interaction Colleen and I have had for over a decade because we both go and do work and we both talk to each other afterwards about what to do best, better the next time. And this sense of reflection. I can reflect by myself or I can reflect with a colleague. And Colleen has been a magnificent colleague for me to reflect with because we are wide open with each other. And by wide open, I mean completely vulnerable and completely transparent. If we aren't vulnerable and aren't transparent, then I drop back into I'm ashamed of what I did or I'm fearful about somebody judging my practice rather than wait, I gave them the best I had at the moment. How do I enhance my ppk? By reflecting with another human being. So whether I want to get a new certificate or I simply want to listen more effectively to colleagues and people in my care, I can develop that PPK through reflection by myself and with someone else. Because Colleen says this beautifully all the time. You don't know what you don't know. So I do my best with what I know. I do my best with my current ppk. If I want to get better, I need her. I need Colleen. Listen, this is what I did. What do you think? Because I'm feeling like I did not make any headway with that client, that client wanted something from me and I did not provide support for them. Let's talk this through so I can tell you what I did and what my thinking was behind my Personal practical knowledge so I can make some adjustments and the next time I go and do something, my practice will be enhanced. Colleen, how am I doing explaining this in a very simple way? That's something I could do today after I have a conversation with you. We could do this or the next phone call I'm on. You know, this is something that is very real in personal development, Colleen.

Absolutely. I think you're describing really me calling you with my debrief of, you know, all of the things that I felt like in the session, perhaps where I hit a wall. So I appreciate that though, Ray. And I think it is. I think it's that sense of self reflection generates change. So I think the critical key of any personal development plan is, you know, once you write it down, that you continue to pause, reflect honestly and openly. As you mentioned, by myself, I journal a lot or with a colleague and then being intentional about as a result of those conversations, what am I going to identify? What are my committed actions, of what I recognize that I want to do differently. And so I'll go back to that space of being very intentional. Otherwise I could come to you, as I have many times, for a debriefing a session. And unless I reflect on myself, we have these great reflective conversations. Unless I write something down, unless I not Ray, unless I intentionally go, wow, I am committed to doing these things, to focusing my efforts in these areas now and write them down and continue to revisit them. That kind of keeps it alive. So I'm thinking about the top of the triangle that I want to enhance my capabilities to be the very effective conversational leadership facilitator. I think that's critical, but also I'm keeping that in mind. But I'm also thinking about what are the tactical things? What are the things I need to do every day? Closing the learning loop more frequently, listening truly and staying in the moment with the client versus already my mind's thinking about my response. So those tactical things that I've learned that sometimes we forget that I'm going to focus on in my next conversation.

Yeah, you really made so many incredible points there for me. And I really noticed myself. Somebody could say to me, you do these 45 things really, really well, but there's an area for growth for you. Well, the 45 things went right out the window. And what I focus on is, what did I do wrong? What was my problem? What's my problem? And if we don't practice what you learned in the seminar, that you are enough, you're exactly enough for the people you are coaching and leading and taking care of you are. If you choose to change your personal practical knowledge, that's a choice. I don't want you to drift into this space of shame or fear that I'm not good enough to take care of this next set of conversations I'm supposed to have or this next person I'm supposed to be with tomorrow. This is very important that in our self talk, if we really want to be resilient, we do not want to talk about that which I'm doing. I simply want to say this was my intention. This is what I did to accomplish that intention. This is what I learned, and this is what I need to do differently next time. If we can't have that constant opportunity to reflect in exactly that way. Intention, action, learning, do differently. That is the way to enhance our current ppk. Now, the nice thing that happens for me is I do that. Here was my intention, here's what I did, here's what I learned. I'd like to do something differently. I don't know what to do. That's when I call Colleen. That's when I look up a TED talk. That's when I read a book. That's when I call somebody else that I know can do this well. And in truth, ladies and gentlemen, as leaders, your biggest responsibility is to broker resources for those that you lead. First, develop a culture where they can be totally honest and completely transparent about how they're doing and what they're doing to accomplish the goal. When it is truly authentic and clean and clear, they can then say, I don't know what to do. That gets us out of that space of fear and shame. It gets us into a space of vulnerability and compassion. And all of a sudden, somebody can give me more to do. I can learn. I can't learn if I spend my time being ashamed or fearful because I didn't do it right. This is really critical in the work and you can do this after every conversation. I do coach leaders today that right after they have a phone call that was important or significant, that they stop and breathe. If it's a hard phone call. You know, I always hold my breath through those. Stop, breathe. Okay, what was the intention of that phone call? What did I do? What did I learn? What might I do differently next time? And I may need to reach out to someone or some entity that can give me more PPK for my next chat. But not because I was not enough. It was because I'm interested in learning how to move forward. This is a Discipline of practice. Reflection is a disciplined practice that produces growth. Notice I didn't say perfection. A disciplined practice that produces growth. What are you thinking right now, Colleen?

I like that, that you didn't say perfection, right? You know, say there is no perfect. And you know, second, you just focus on being perfect. You might as well, you know, quit while you're ahead. I like the thought of it. It is intentional. It is an intentional practice. And many times we say it's a dao, it's a way of being, and it is a continual thing. And I think your everyday conversations really reveal who you are as an individual, as a leader, and as a person. And so the more you can pause to reflect on those. And one of the things I do is, even with my kids, help them reflect on how they show up in their everyday conversations as it helps them start to think about their personal growth and their learning opportunities. So I think that's huge, not only in those we lead, but also in those we are in conversations with, especially.

At home, learning how to think beyond. I wasn't good enough. I didn't know enough. I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't fast enough. You know, you are what you are and you are enough right now. And if you choose to be more than you are right now, that's when the discipline practice unfolds. Resiliency is connected because I need to be able to say, I am enough. I am a good person and I would like to get better. I would like to develop some progress in my personal practical knowledge. This is really challenging for moms and dads who are dealing with a technological world where kids get a lot of immediate gratification. Sometimes it takes time for that progress to begin to be seen very clearly by people that are trying to get better. So this is all about personal practical knowledge. How do I change my personal practical knowledge and how do I stay resilient by recognizing I am enough. I have given my best to this situation. I would like to get better, but I certainly was enough in the moment. I can't tell you, ladies and gentlemen, how important that is and how much Colleen and I try and practice that with one another. Final thoughts, Colleen?

Yeah, I would say my final thoughts are just, you know, what the only way out is through embrace the theories, methods and tools. Pick the ones you maybe perhaps feel most comfortable with and begin with those. Continue to self reflect and to think about the application of those in every conversation and continue to kind of be intentional about what it is. As Ray mentioned in your reflection, what it is you learned and what it is you might do differently next time. I think that's the key is giving yourself that sense of, you know, this is the best I'm doing. Everyone does the rest every day. And yet we have an opportunity if we choose to enhance that tomorrow.

I love it. I love it. Colleen. Big takeaways to share with you, gang, is you can change anything you choose to change. Personal reflection produces personal change. You don't have to sit by yourself in an office or a small room and write everything in a journal. Even call somebody if you know somebody. You admire and appreciate their work. That would even be nice to say how grateful you are for their work and then say, I'd like your support on something I'm thinking about. This is so, so, so important. Change and resiliency go hand in hand. As Einstein said, when things didn't work, I found 10,000 ways not to do it. Now I need another way to do it. And this is just what this work is about. So thank you so much for listening to this little end piece. I hope you get yourself a journal that is very much your own. Make it your own. A trip to a nice store that has journals is always recommended. And begin to use that journal as a way to do personal reflection. And the resiliency is to develop a habit of constant, constant, disciplined practice in reflecting that will produce progress in your ppk. Pleasure being with you. Thank you so much. Ray Jorgensen Colleen Sullivan, JLC in Learning Series Be well, my friends. Sincerest thanks for listening to this episode of the Everyday Leadership Conversations podcast. The Jorgensen Learning center on offers a variety of programs for individuals and organizations to enhance their communication and leadership skills. To find out more about programs and upcoming webinars, check out our events page@gojlc.com.