Impacts of Imposed Change: Stories from Gen Z'ers

Welcome, gentlemen. And for those of you that are listening, my name is Ray Jorgensen. This is JLC Media, and our entire set of podcasts now is about change and the essence of change. So those of you that are listening, gonna meet two new members of the JLC podcasting team. And they're gonna meet each other also. Cause they don't really know each other that well yet. And as we go through this, I think you're going to really enjoy this set of perspectives. I spent most of my life working with young people, and so for me, this will be nothing but fun. I don't know if it will be for them. We'll see. But let's get them to know each other a bit more. So how about, Connor, you start us off, introduce yourself, and then tell us something about you that most people don't know.

My name is Connor Sullivan. I really like going fishing, like mountain biking, and like, being outside. Like yesterday, me and my friend went on a bike ride and went and rode around Lake Natomas, and it was really fun.

Yeah, that's really great. Very often that's a way for me to feel better is to get outside and either walk or bike or do something like that. It's a little harder for me now because I live on a mountain, and the mountain just kicks my butt every time I try and get on a bike up here. But it's still fun. All right, Dylan, to introduce yourself and tell us something about you that most people don't know, within reason. Now, my friend.

My name is Dylan. I'm 16 years old and a sophomore. I play soccer, and I've been really into exercise over the past year. I don't know if a lot of people know that. I'm trying, kind of struggling to figure out something not a lot of people.

Know that's good enough. They gave everybody. Listening doesn't know who you are, so you just gave them something.

That's a good point.

Yeah.

They're probably going, oh, I like this guy. Excellent. All right, so the context for this is, the reason why we're having this conversation is my colleagues are all adults, and I'm probably the oldest one. So my perspective on change is very seasoned. Right. But you guys just went through a pandemic. You just went through a change in your life and what's happening with you. And what I would like is, as we go through this conversation, to give each of you an opportunity to let the listeners know what you did, what you personally did, to deal with all the changes that unfolded for you going forward. And that's really the whole context of this. So, Connor, what are you hearing me say? We're going to work on.

Talk about what I did to personally change myself and adapt to the pandemic. And especially since the pandemic hit as my first year in college happened, it was a big change for me.

That's amazing. So there's really two things that are happening that you can help us with. One is a big transition. Leaving home, going to college. Right. And then Here we go. COVID 19 here's a pandemic. And that first year of college probably didn't unfold as you expected it to would be my guess. Am I guessing correctly?

Yeah, it was a lot different than my expectations. But it was fun and it was worth it for sure. I'm glad I got into the dorms and got away.

Yeah. And a good taste of it anyway. See and I think that's the part that's interesting, is that you didn't plan the pandemic. You didn't expect COVID 19 and all the restrictions that came with somebody did that to you. And then, okay, if I choose to change myself, like Dylan said, I want to be a more conditioned athlete. That's a personal change. That's internal, this was external. And what I'm going to tag into in a couple of minutes is have both of you talk a little bit about how that got you. So Dylan, what was your transition? Where were you going? You went from which grade to which grade and then the pandemic hit.

So I mean, definitely one of the biggest things for me was adapting to a different school system as well. So I'm, this is my first year of high school basically because the district I live in, it goes junior high, 7th through 9th, 10th through 12th. So this is my first year at the high school and I didn't really get to go at all. Like I'm just now starting to go back and things are starting to get a lot easier. But over like even just like the grading system changed on online. Like the summative test scores, the test, you know, the test that you take, they used to be weighted at 90% and the busy work, day to day stuff would be weighted at 10. Now it's 65, 45 or 60 40. So I find myself in a lot of positions where I have C's instead of A's now because I'm averaging an A in majority of those, those summative test scores, but averaging like a 30% or something like that in the day to day stuff. And I have like Cs and low Bs instead of as. So that's a big adaptation. School has been a lot harder for me this year also, just with online. I'm starting to get back in person, but for a very long time online was the only thing we had. And during this pandemic I found out ADHD and like, even now, like, I hope I'm not seeming too spacey, but like over. Over video like this, it feels just like really disconnected to me and it's really hard to pay attention and keep a conversation even.

I understand completely and watch some of the little techniques that I use that will allow you to feel a bit more connected. Connor, what did you hear Dylan say and what did that mean to you?

He said he definitely feels a bit more disconnected from school just with like online. And I definitely share that. Especially like moving into higher education and this is my first year in it, and then having to learn basically everything online with the exception of a class one day a week for an hour, like, that doesn't really help me that much because there's really only so much you can put into an hour and it's mainly just review from the online lectures. So I definitely, like, feel the struggle of adapting to the new schooling system and especially because our teachers are adapting to it too. You know, this is probably their first time doing it online and so I feel for them because they're trying to give us the best education they can and we're trying to learn. And, you know, sometimes it's just not as good as I expected. And I was definitely struggling and online too.

Yeah. So there's a piece here that I want you both to react to. So, you know, this. This whole world is about thinking, about feeling, about noticing. And so I'm going to kind of tap into those a little bit and I'm going to do it this way. Let's make believe you have a good friend, Dylan, or you, Connor, and your good friend Dylan has some of the same challenges that you have and they're going to go through this next year. What is something you would tell them? Say, listen, I know it's going to be different and challenging, but as someone who cares about you and as a good friend, here are some recommendations that I would give to you moving forward. I'll start with you, Connor, then I'll go to Dylan. What are some recommendations you would give to this good friend that's heading off to college for the first time? And there'll still be some hybrid stuff going on.

Go ahead Son, I would definitely say, like, organizational skills are very important and keeping yourself disciplined and saying, oh, I'm going to do a certain amount of time today with school, and then I'm going to do the other things that I want to do. But getting the schooling done and that type of thing, like what you actually need to get done first is very important because I feel like I'm more productive in the morning, so I would try to get my sleep schedule right. So that way I'm getting all my stuff done in the morning and then I can have like the afternoon to go hang out with my friends.

So there's something about. And I love that rest and sleep and making sure that I'm going to get my stuff done early. So I feel like I can then spend my afternoon the way I choose or want to spend it. And that's a recommendation. You would tell somebody that's stepping into the same shoes you are this year. That's really excellent. Dylan, what would you tell somebody stepping into the high school environment for the first time?

I mean, yeah, I completely agree with that. Organizational skills are massively important. So I would definitely figure out a schedule that works best for you and just stick with it. And I like how we touched on sleep as well. I feel like that's. That's massively important to anyone's schedule. And for me personally, I. He mentioned how he feels more energetic. He can get more done during the start of the day. I'm the exact opposite. I feel like I get most of my energy towards the later hours of the night and I struggle to sleep for a really long time. And that also hindered me. So find a consistent schedule to stick with or find a schedule and be consistent with it.

Yeah, so that's really good. I don't know how much your moms or dads have told you about the work that I do. I've worked with a lot of companies. One of the ones I worked with was an IT company and those guys that were programmers, they stayed up all night long and they would sleep most of the morning and then they would do the same. They'd have breakfast, like at noon or 1 o', clock, right. And then they'd have kind of a day, then they'd go to work around dinnertime and they would just work all night long. So when they were asking me to help them deal with this kind of life because they're still trying to have a social life, I just said, figure out what's the best opportunity for you to be engaged and really learn Otherwise you have. You really will be in trouble. So organizational skills, making sure I get the right amount of rest with two things. The. So here's another one for you guys just to think about and I want you to just to talk to each other about this one. I'm just going to lean back and listen. So, Dylan, what was your biggest surprise? What surprised you the most in making this transition? And then Connor, you answer him and listen to him and tell him what you heard. Biggest surprise, Dylan.

Biggest surprise. Biggest surprise. I was surprised how difficult it was. I know that probably sounds really generic, but I was really excited about having online schooling, especially because I thought I'd have more free time or I would have to spend less time on school. But it felt like the workload was a lot higher and I felt like I had to teach myself a lot of the time. So it felt a lot harder than in person and I was expecting it to be a lot easier. And I mean, for some people it was like, I've heard a lot of like, there's kids who are in the exact opposite situation that I'm in, that this works way better for them and that their grades are doing a lot better now. But I just happen to be on the other end of that spectrum.

So, Connor, what are you hearing him say? What are you thinking?

I heard you say it was a lot more difficult for you to do online class and like transition. And I definitely agree with that. For me, it's a lot easier to like sit down in class, receive a piece of paper or like the physical aspect of my assignment and then do it then. And then simply put it in a folder and turn it in. And for me, I had the same problem, like just learning the new structure and like how to turn stuff in was such a struggle for me because I had three different websites I'd go to to do my homework on and each one turned it in differently. And there was certain times where I had to literally just email it to my instructor because I had no idea how to turn it in. And yeah, that was definitely like surprising to me by how hard it was. But I think the most surprising thing was just meeting people from everywhere because there's. I met people from London in Montana State, and then I met people from Minnesota, Maryland, Denver, all over the country. And it was just eye opening to me to see like the different type of culture around the nation and like how people react to certain situations just depending on where they're from.

So that's really a powerful sentence that we have a kind of A cultural way in the United States of America to react to change. It's our culture. We kind of know what, like, I had the privilege of working overseas for a number of years on and off. Right. And, boy, they don't see things the same way we do. They don't worry about the same things we worry about. So I think that that was a real wonderful thing about the college environment. Dylan, did you meet new kids this year that you really didn't know about that had different backgrounds?

Not especially. Right now, we're split into different cohorts and I have maybe five of their kids in my classes and they're all spaced out. So I haven't really had much of an opportunity to get to know my fellow students. That's also been kind of a hard adaptation because usually, like, school was an easy time for me to be social and there was a long period of time where, like, we were all staying inside and not doing anything. The lack of social activity was definitely tough as well.

Yeah. So that's another piece of advice to let somebody know that no matter how much you feel locked in, find a way to just talk with each other. Like here, what I'm doing with you is you're just talking with each other, and all I'm doing is adding a little bit to the end of each of the conversations that are going on. So notice what you did. You gave some advice. You gave some surprises, too, about things that have happened to you moving forward. This one I think will be. And I recognize challenges are in everyone's environment. What are you looking forward to after the summer? What are you looking forward to when the summer comes to an end and you get to go to the next exciting place that we're going to go to or not so exciting. What are you looking forward to when summer ends? Dylan, why don't you start us off this time?

I mean, I'm looking for me especially, I'm starting running start. So I'm going to be going to community college my junior and senior year. So I'm excited to start that. I kind of missed out a little bit on my high school experience, but I'm overall pretty excited to start that. And hopefully it'd be a more normal learning environment, but either way, I'm still excited about that.

So stay there with me. When we, you know, your mom, both moms and the team, we studied change and. And lots of times change makes people depressed. And you just said, I am actually looking forward to. Because I pushed that question. But you also immediately found something. And as we get older. As I get older, I need to learn how to adapt to change also. And one of the ways to do that is recognize, okay, this sucks, but I'm looking forward to X. And you just did that beautifully. Absolutely beautifully. Notice that if you a big strength inside of you, you would be somebody that I would say, enjoys and embraces the opportunity that comes with change. Hang on to that for a minute. That's powerful stuff. Dylan. Connor, what are you thinking about this? What are you looking forward to?

I'm really looking forward to moving into a house with some friends in Montana. And then I'm also going to have my own car out there so I can finally drive around, go to the ski slopes when I want to and have some fun, go fishing whenever I want to, too. So I feel like I have a lot to look forward to.

Yeah. See that again. There's two edges. When people are an imposed change happens. COVID pandemic, right? We can sit and be upset and angry and, like, almost depressed over the whole damn thing, or I could recognize I'm going through a depression, sadness, anger. What do I need to do to flip to the other place now? The people that are listening are probably listening to both of you saying, what did you guys do? What did you do inside of you that allowed you to switch from being pissed off and angry about this pandemic? And, Covid, you did something that allowed you to move forward and embrace this positively. Connor, what did you do? What did you think about that enabled you to move forward?

I really thought about what I could do in this situation, what power I hold to change the whole pandemic. And there's really nothing I can do. I'm gonna have to wear a mask regardless if I want to wear a mask or not. So I kind of just like stepped back and look at the whole situation in a whole and said, like, what can I do to make this better for myself and for my friends around me? And it's really just switching your mindset. I feel like, to just accept the fact that you're in a pandemic and there's nothing you can do about it. And just working around, like, all the restrictions that they give you.

I can't tell you how strong that is. Acceptance that this is an external change. I didn't want it. It happened. And I'm going to embrace the change in a way that I can control me. And I think this is something. I know your mom talks about this. I think both your moms do. In all this world, the only thing we can control is our response, nothing else. So how am I going to respond? I thought that was really good. Connor. Did you think it's something else? Me?

Honestly, my head went to the exact same idea. You really cannot fret over something you cannot change. And I feel like that goes for literally anything, especially for me. If I'm doing the absolute best I can with my circumstances, it's really hard for me to feel bad about what I'm doing. So I feel like that's definitely a piece of advice. Just, I mean it's, that's pretty rudimentary basic advice, but just try your best. Make the best out of whichever situation you're in and I'm sure you'd feel a lot better because you really just cannot fret over things you can't change.

You'd be miserable, Dylan. That's magnificent. No one could say it better than that. Just don't do it. Don't sit in that fretful place. I've been there. I have been fretting about, ah, I could lose my job. Oh, I might fail this course. Oh, I've been there. Yeah. One of my sons says, you know, worry is interest on a debt that you haven't really got yet. That's a pretty smart way to think about that, right? So worry, fretting, that's nothing but trouble. This is great. Connor, we're going to come to a close here where you're going to say, this is something I actually got out of this conversation today. This is something I learned today. What would you say you got out of this conversation, Connor?

I would say I definitely learned about you, Ray, because I know you work with my mom and it's nice to speak to you and I would like to see you again. I know you visited a little bit in California a couple years ago, but I also learned just how to persevere through like certain situations and like adapt when even if you don't want to. And you might get to that dreadful place where you're just, oh, why did this happen? This sucks. But to be able to push through is very, very important. For sure.

Yeah, that's really good. So yeah, this sense of really disciplining self not to fall into, right. This space of constant fear, anger, depression, whatever is there really can get you. Dylan, what'd you get out of today? What was good for you today?

I mean like he said as well, it was really good to finally meet you. I'm always hearing my mom talk about her experience with JLC and stuff like that, but overall, like across the whole pandemic, I just kind of want to add, like, something that I've learned from this is I definitely have a much different. My mindset is no longer jumping to what ifs like it used to. I feel like at the start of this, it was all what if this, what if that? And I've kind of developed a mindset that has allowed me to persevere in an environment where I really can't change anything. And I feel like it's a really. I feel like it's a. Going to be a much more beneficial mindset to the previous one I had. So I feel like overall, this has helped me grow as a person. And yeah, that's.

I love it. So you stayed at it. See, the what if is also that change shock nonsense. And I start to go, well, what if this? Or why didn't they do that? I wonder about. You know, we actually begin to create self talk that holds us hostage and that what you just gave us was wonderful. Connor, close us out a little more. What. What is your biggest thing? What are you thinking about and what are you learning just listening to Dylan talk.

Oh, I really like how you changed your whole mindset just through, like, the pandemic, like, because some people could take this completely the opposite way. Oh, like you said, what if. What if the pandemic didn't happen? Then what if? Oh, I'd be doing so much better. All this when it's. They just didn't adapt like you did, you know, change your mindset. So I think that was really good.

Yeah. I love the interaction that you two have had with each other. It almost feels like you knew each other before we started pretty well. And I know that's not true, but it's really pretty. You know each other through the moms, which is another interesting aspect of this conversation today. Well, you gentlemen were wonderful. I thank you both for the time that you've given us, and I really can't tell you how grateful I am that you took some time to talk with me about this. My opinion is the people out there are going to really hear you strongly and think about how they can embrace some of those ideas. Stop that self talk. You know, why me? What if this, that, and just get stuck and actually embrace the change and move forward. You both were magnificent. Those of you that are listening, I hope you enjoyed our little podcast on change today from two really brilliant young men that brought a whole lot of insight into this pandemic and this Covid world that we've dealt with and brought forward the ideas that reflect the essence, the essence of change. Thank you very, very much and I hope those of you will hop on our website and see us. Thank you again listeners. Sincerest thanks thanks for listening to this.

Episode of the Everyday Leadership Conversations podcast.

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