Inside JLC: Virtual Meetings: Check-In and Check-Out

Thanks for being with us today. And I really want to do a good job of honoring everybody's perspectives. And we're going to do a check in. So this is an inside JLC podcast. And those of you that are listening, this is how we start our meetings. We generally have a topic or we just say what's on your mind or what's top of mind for you right now that's distracting. You have all kinds of ways we check in. This one is a little different because I'm setting the stage for a podcast we're going to do later on. And the query that is going to go right to the gang and after they say what their answer, they're going to say, I'm in. That's what we do when we do this work. And I may or may not add something to each of the comments. So here is the provocation. Think about a time when you were put into a leadership position and or think about a time that you coach somebody in a leadership position. And the question was, how do we enable trust among the leader and the leadership team? What is the very first thing that you think of that you were. This is something I need to establish right away and very quickly. Who'd like to start?

I'll go. So I just did it today with coaching of Dr. Tim Mitzel. He is assistant superintendent at Littlestown and he has a new assistant. And he said, how do I create this relationship? Right. He was the high school principal, so he saw what was created before and now it's like it's not working. Like you know how. And I said, well, what do you talk about? And he only talks about tasks. This is what I want. And we know with our five success circle, you have relationships, conversations, collaboration, planning in action, and results. And he was only doing the planning and action piece. And so we talked through about how we could have a weekly meeting where he first starts with the appreciation and gratitude and that starts with the relationships. Then also the getting to know each other as leaders, having some type of confessional. This is what occurs for me this week. This was a trigger for me. And then getting to the tasks, I feel like getting to know both personal and professional and making sure that you hit all five of those each time that you interact with or throughout the week that you're intentional. That's one way to establish trust. And I'm in.

That's very beautiful. Thank you so much. Who'd like to add on to what Julie just gave us?

Okay, I'll chime in. So, you know, for me I want to take it to a very personal space on what I actually did as opposed to how I coached someone. I thought it was very important when you're establishing new relationships. When I was a leader in command, I wanted to establish that relationship, that very personal connection with people up front. And so the very first meeting I would have, we would sit and I would ask us to share something about one personal thing about each other as we go around the room, because that relationship and getting to know one another is how you create that environment of trust. So I didn't want to talk about work. I didn't want to talk about their responsibilities. I just wanted to make a connection, a human connection with the people so they could see that I cared about them and that what was important to their lives was important to me. And I wanted to make myself human and vulnerable as well. So just that very first touch, tell me one thing about yourself. And for me, I liked riding motorcycles. That was something that people found very surprising. And we would go around the room and get to know one thing about one another or where are you from? And we would have a conversation about the part of the country you would come so we could make connections in our familiarities. And with that, I'm in.

That's beautiful. And I invite the rest of you to just add on to the previous speaker because Julie and Vince have dropped us down to a beautiful spot. One of my questions that you've seen me use, all of you have seen me do this. What is it about who I am that brought me to leadership and keeps me here? That is such an interesting question. I've actually done that with families. What is it about you as a couple that brought you to the space of becoming parents and then so beautifully keeps you here? There's such power in that ability to build that kind of relationship. Who'd like to go next?

I'll go ahead.

Go ahead, Colleen.

I'm sorry. And just kind of build upon what I'm hearing already is surfacing as a theme. It's, like, really focused on developing the quality. The quality of the relationships, whether it's, you know, whether it's with those you lead or with those you coach. And I would like to give a really good non example because I myself fall into this very frequently. And, Julie, it's a little bit of what you were coaching your client on is, you know, make sure you're just not focused on the tasks and jumping in quickly. And Vince modeled that. He takes a moment of pauses to have a conversation, to get to know them in a personal way. And I am guilty. My son Connor moved back home from college and so. And he's working every single day and the first minute he walks in the door, guess what I'm doing? Focusing on what he needs to do. What about this? What about this? And I feel like I lean back into that task oriented thing. You didn't get this done. You need clean repair. What are we doing after school? And so I need to pause because that is an example of I'm not doing anything to help develop the relationship and the trust. I am actually harming that. So I need to take a breath and relax and, and remember to give him time because he tells me, don't talk to me, mom. I just walked in the door. I just want to be able to walk in and get something to eat and get something to drink and then I'll talk to you, but not now. So just another example, a non example of. And it's a simple thing and I do it with the space of love in my heart and yet it's not getting me what I want. And I'm in.

Yeah, you just shifted us beautifully from that parent child space to one of the books I actually love. I read it. I read snippets of it all the time. It says don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff. And one of the chapters reminds me regularly to simply breathe, breathe before I talk. And I so often want to jump in and tell you something because I got something to tell you. Magnificent. Thank you. And Nicole, you were going to add something, I thought.

Yes. So I think building on what everyone has shared, even just Colleen took us in this different direction, but I think it's still pause. But what I love to do is really let people know what they can count on from you and what they can expect from you. And course correct. When you veer off out of that space for what you want people to be able to count on for you from you and expect from you. So I think it's so important, Colleen, to just have that conversation like, oh my goodness, I just went to this other place and I didn't mean to go there with you and here's how I want to show up for you today and next time. So really just being clear about what people can expect from you and what they can count on from you, I think is so important. I try to infuse that into my conversations that I'm having with my new colleagues and team members because I, I think it's important for them to. They don't know how to show up with me. And I want them to be comfortable, like, yes, please ask me all of those questions. I would love to answer them. I would love to be in conversation with you. So I just think as much as we can just be clear and really express what people can count on and what they can expect, it's helpful to build trust. I'm in.

So you are all talking about building trust, and one of the keys is trustworthiness. You've all seen us work on this to make a promise and keep it in the best interest of the person or persons where you made that promise. That's the definition or mark of a professional. So that was just magnificent. Thank you all. And, Joe, what we're working on is actually recording a little opportunity to think about when we enter a new command or enter a new leadership space or coach somebody in that spot. What do we say to them when we get there? So, Christy, would you like to offer something based on what you heard so far?

Absolutely, yes. So I think I maybe come at this from a different viewpoint and that I'm not out coaching anyone. But one thing that, you know, I do have several clients that I will lead. Try to lead kids, like you mentioned, you know, in different situations. So. But the first thing that I try to remind myself is patience. If I don't have patience, then I've lost it in both arenas with my personal and with my kids and in the business world. So. And it's funny because I don't feel like I have a lot of patience, but I do have to. I do have to put that forward, and I have to make sure that I'm extremely patient. I work with very diverse clients, you know, on different spectrums of technology and of what they do and what I do for them. So, you know, I just really have to come at it. But I love what everyone has said. You know, I also try to include those personal relationships with my clients because, you know, I consider many and most of them friends. I've worked with them for several years. We know so much about each other, our families, and they're there for me in so many different ways when I need them, and I try to do the same. So those relationships are just incredibly important, no matter what, you know, where you're at and what you're doing. But, so I love what everybody, Everyone has said, and I feel like it all kind of comes together, you know, whether. Whether you hear business or personal, and I'm in.

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. And this is very much a loopy to loop. This is what I'm doing and it's going to come back to me again. How do I keep refining the way I do this? What you made me think of Christy, and it's a big one for me, like, what are my triggers? What gets me excited fast, what do I get pissed off about In a heartbeat, right? And working on myself to recognize that the first is awareness, like anything else, and then reshaping how I'm going to respond. It is truly the difference between a reaction. Right. Trigger reaction to a thoughtful response. And of course, if you're all listening to this as a podcast, we have podcasts about that, about how to really work on your resilience, which is the opposite of a reaction, and much more about response. So, beautiful. Joe, Please add your $0.02 here based on what you're hearing.

So, of course, last week I wrote a paper with your help, as you know, and part of it was about this. And I think many times when people, particularly who are new in organizations, think about, okay, how am I going to go into this organization? What am I going to do? I think it's easy to get caught up in kind of big thoughts. Okay, so I'm going to go out and build trust. So let's back up the cement trucks and let's unload all the bricks and they're thinking about some big movement. When I think the truth is it's all small steps. And I think this is part of what Nicole was saying and Julie and others is again, it's to demonstrate from the get go, listening, vulnerability, tolerance of other viewpoints, gratitude, empathy. I mean, all of the things that we talk about in these disciplined conversations. I think the sooner you begin to evidence those things. How many of us have had the experience of having a new person come into our organization or us checking into a new organization and you find somebody who knows everything and they're right about it all in their mind, it's just a huge turnoff. And you immediately, you know, your trust gauges all go to the red immediately because you're like, geez, if that's, you know, I've been here 10 minutes, look at what they're telling me about this organization and about who's in charge and what they do and how they do it. Okay, that's interesting. So I think, keeping in mind that it's small stuff, but. But also to come back to what Nicole said about being present in these functions, showing up in a way that evidences these disciplines, again, it sounds small. I don't think it is small, and I think it requires focused effort, but it's very much worth the journey to build the trust. And I'm it.

That's beautiful, this idea that. And I love the way you articulated that, Joe. And this is really representative of artifacts of a culture. Is this culture a trusting, caring culture, or is this one that's going to kick your ass if you make a mistake? And sometimes those artifacts are so clear, you can see them in the first few minutes of your orientation. And, you know, as Christy was saying, I need to build relationships with people. That's my job. That's what I need to do. And there's always a loop back to you that they'll take care of us when we're in need, and I do my best to take care of them when they're in need. So this sensibility is to practice these disciplines. It's powerful. And the culture of the leadership team becomes clear as we notice how we interact together and build those relationships through disciplined conversation. So, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being with us here at JLC Media. We just had a meeting, and what you heard earlier was us checking into our meeting, and we follow a very, very disciplined practice. We check in. We then set the stage for our meeting. We create the intention. We hold our meeting, and then this is kind of the final space. We've already done commitments to action, and Colleen, who's on this with us, is our chief operating officer, and she makes sure that she holds our proverbial feet to the fire. She writes down the things that we promised, and then we move to this phase in the meeting, which is a checkout. This is so much about our learning, because a checkout gets us to really take a moment and reflect on what happened during the meeting that was really important to me personally and potentially to the entire JLC team. So what you're going to hear here is how we typically work. So this is an inside JLC thing. You're inside our company watching us work, and here we are. So I will create a quick little. The provocation is really simple. You know what resonated most with you today? Why? Now, that second part, if you're listening to us, is really important because typically somebody goes, well, I really like what Julie said. I'm out. And then, no, no, that's not enough. Tell us what Julie said that resonated with you. And then tell us why it resonated with you. What we're really practicing here is team learning and mental models, where, if you tell me why something resonated with you. You are surfacing your mental model about why that was important to me. So that's what we're going to do, and we're going to do it right now. Hope you enjoy it. We have Colleen on with us. We've got Julie and Nicole. So the provocation is very standard and very simple. What resonated most with you today during our meeting, because we had about three or four different topics. What resonated most? And tell us a little bit why that resonated so much with you. And when you're done, of course, you'll hear them say, I'm out. Which doesn't mean they're going to leave. They're not going to turn off their camera. They're going to stay and listen to everybody else's checkout. So who'd like to start? What resonated most with you today? And tell us a little bit about why that was something that was resonant for you.

I'll go ahead and start. I think, you know, we have Joe on the line with us, and I really appreciate. Joe's been very, very busy. He's working very, very hard. He's in support of our Navy Medicine client. And I think the thing that resonated with me most was when he shared what unfolded in those conversations he facilitated last week at Defense Health headquarters. He talked specifically just about the conversations, the fact that they were talking about just freely and candidly and the impact it had on their ability to. To really move the group forward. So sharing his story, I think, is the thing that most resonated and that impact piece on how he said. Even the boss who called him for a debrief said he really was happy with the results of that facilitation and amount.

Yeah, there's a part here. And of course, we are following our coaching certification guidelines. And we won't tell you completely during this checkout what was said or who said what, because we keep those things extremely confidential. We can give you kind of a global, this is what we talked about. This is what was said. But we'll stay away from names and specifics. But that's excellent. And it is in following these guidelines. Our work is about helping people that we serve clarify what their needs are, because sometimes they drift away. Well, we just gotta yell at that guy or support that guy or give this person an award. And it was like, way what? Much more than that. And it was the conversation that enabled it. Who'd like to go next? Thank you, Colleen.

Go ahead. Go ahead, Nicole. Go ahead.

It was interesting because what Colleen shared was almost the exact same thing that really resonated for me. It's that impact piece, like hearing what the conversations were and the impact it had on that leadership team. And I think one of the things that Joe had said is it's really those fundamentals and the disciplines of the conversation that when in practice, can be so impactful. So that was just a really good reminder for me. Like these things that sometimes we think of as basic or what leaders should already know or they should already be doing, just really focusing on the, putting them into practice, making them part of your everyday leadership is so key. To see that transformation, to see the impact that it can have on your team and on your environment is just. Yeah, that was standing out for me today. So I'm out.

So the part he gave and thank you, Nicole. That was beautiful. And what I'm hearing you say is help how Joe helped them recognize that the CPO context, purpose and outcome slide is not for the presenter. It's not for the person that is the, quote, facilitator. It is for the leader. And if the leader doesn't use that verbally say to somebody, this is why we're here. This is what I intend for all of us to understand. And then for each of us to do, it just becomes, okay, here's the slide, move on. And I thought the way he did that, by saying, this is the leader's responsibility to state the intention through the cpo, I thought that was powerful. So that'll be my meaningful part of the conversation today.

Julie, the thing that was meaningful for me was quite simple. It was Nicole. She said, hey, I'm working on this topic and if anybody has any feedback or resources or anything, I'd love to see it. I think that's, you know, goes back to my check in with the five factors that she's not just here, oh, I have this thing I need to do and do it all by myself. She oftentimes, as leaders, we think that we have to do it by ourselves. But by her saying, no, I have the best minds here, why would I do it by myself? You know, so that's collaboration, it's building relationships, it's planning an action so that she gets the best results that she possibly can. So that was the thing that was most impactful to me and I'm out.

That's cool. So I thought. And you used his name Tim, when you were working with Tim, that I love. He's a wonderful gentleman and he's very task focused and oriented toward what's our project. And sometimes if we become over like anything, you know, the yin and yang, we come overly become overly focused on what we're going to do and how we're going to do it. We lose the opportunity to develop those relationships. And as you know and those of you that are listening, the most effective leaders initiate and sustain quality relationships. And what I think you did, Julie, there for Tim was reopened the door. And sometimes to a point you made earlier also, we have to hear things multiple ways. In my wife's tradition, they have to hear for the mind, heart and spirit. Three times. Something has to be stated actually three times in three different ways for it actually to get internalized and embedded. And I think that's at least three times. It may require more. So gang, thank you so much for being today on our team meeting, for being on the team meeting with us today and offering the perspectives that you brought forward. Those of you that are listening. This is what a checkout looks like. This didn't take very long at all. And you can sense there was a lot of strength in this particular checkout. And every time somebody offers something, it's more for me than my mental models pop up. And I recognize what that means to me. I hope you enjoyed this. I sure did. And looking forward to seeing you guys in the future. Please see us@gojoc.com and sign up for a discovery conversation on us. We'd be happy to chat with you about your needs and how we might serve you. And let me be clear about something. If we don't think we're a match, we'll say it. We always do. We don't force ourselves on anyone. And our experience is that people in leadership positions, management positions, there is something in the work that we do that you can grab onto and use. You might get it out of the discovery conversation. Then you had a wonderful coaching call and it was on us. If that's the case, wonderful. In any event, Visit us@gojlc.com and thank you for being part of us today. Take care, folks. Sincerest thanks for listening to this episode of the Everyday Leadership Conversations podcast. The Jorgensen Learning center offers a variety of programs for individuals and organizations to enhance their communication and leadership skills. To find out more about programs and upcoming webinars, check out our events page@gojlc.com.