Kafka and The Doll

Thank you for taking a few minutes to talk about what I think is a really interesting story, especially in these times of change. So today I'm going to tell you a story. I'm going to ask you what the story means to you. And I'll probably do it from a feeling level as well as, you know, a personal, intellectual level. Both things will occur. So we're going to tell you a little story and ask you what it means to you. And without any further ado, I think we can start. In the early 1900s, there was a gentleman that lived in Vienna by the name of Kafka. And he was a writer, poet. And he enjoyed just walking in his neighborhood and watching and observing and got most of the ideas for his essays and the little books that he wrote by observing people. Well, he was in the park right next to his home. And it was a beautiful day, spring afternoon. People seemed very happy, walking around, visiting and talking. And he heard crying. He went over and talked to. The person that was crying, was a little girl. And he said, are you okay? And she said, no, I'm not okay. And he said, where's your mother or father? Well, I live over there, and they're going to come get me in a minute. And he. And so Kafka says, what's the matter? And he said, I lost my doll. I don't know where the doll is. I can't find her. And so he looked for the doll with her. And then he walked her home and gave her to mom and said she lost her doll. And then he said to the little girl, can you stop back by tomorrow? I think I may have something for you from your doll. And they both looked at him like he was crazy. And they went in the house, and the next day they showed up about the time that they agreed upon. And he gave her a letter from her doll which said that when we reach a certain age in our lives, even a doll, we become emancipated and we need to be free. And I've chosen to travel. So I'm traveling, and that's why you can't find me. And I will write you a letter a week while I'm traveling. Well, every week Kafka showed up and met the little girl and her mother and gave them a letter from the doll. And the doll was telling her about her adventures and where she was and where she was traveling and on and on. Well, this went on for a number of weeks until finally Kafka showed up and handed her her doll. And the little girl goes oh, it's not my doll. Oh, yes, this is definitely your doll. Oh, it's not my doll. Look at it. Doesn't look like my doll. And Kafka said, we all change as we grow older and have experiences, and your doll has changed, but this is your doll. She hugged the doll, hugged him, and that's the end of the story. So, Julie, how did that one land on you?

I love the idea that we have choices, that we don't have to always stay where we are. And I also love the opportunity to celebrate the growth and the change so many times. I know as parents, we want everything to stay the same. And, you know, Colle colleague just said goodbye to her son, back to college. And as hard as it is to see them leave, we also know that's a part of their adult growth. And it's important to remember that we can change and we can travel and grow.

And it is those experiences that enable us to be different over time. That's really cool, Julie. Thank you. Vince, what are you thinking?

So as I listened to what you had to say, I had no idea where this story was going, but I was thinking very cerebrally or academically on how to analyze the events that you outlined. But then, very personally, I internalized my own feelings as I was growing, as I was getting ready to leave for college, and I decided to enter the Navy. And that meant leaving my roots and going off and doing things and seeing a place I'd never seen before. And as you talked, I reflected upon where I am today compared to where I began my journey. Yeah, I look different. My experiences are different. I would like to think I'm a little wiser and a little more seasoned. So, yeah, the authority resonated with me, surprisingly, in a very, very personal way, and it caught me by surprise. So thank you for that.

It is interesting how I've read this a number of times, and I've changed over the years that I've read it. And so it landed on me differently this time than it did the other times. And it gave me an opportunity to say, this is great. This is part of our work. This is part of what we do professionally. That was great, Vince. Thank you. Ms. Nicole, what are you thinking? What are you thinking? Feeling, Learning.

Well, at first, the story really resonated for me because I lost a doll when I was young, and my mother tried to replace it with a different doll that I knew was not the same. Do so. It all resonated for me in that way, but also I really started to think about you know, as Vince stated, my own personal journey and how others have reacted to my own changes. You know, sometimes we grow away from people and then when we come back, it's. They tell us we're not the same or they. They notice the differences and it's like you're not the same person. And that's an interesting feeling from both perspectives. You know, to see people in our lives do that, go on their own journeys and come back different and changed, and then to go on our journeys and then see others reactions to how we've grown and changed. And I think just being aware that that happens to us all and kind of that feeling and requirement that to love people is to let them grow in this way and still continue to, like, fall in love with them each time, each version of themselves that they are.

I think that's beautifully stated. So many people would prefer that I behave the way I did 30 years ago because it makes them more satisfied. But that's not who I am now. Life has changed. When the kids go away to college, that is a bittersweet breaking, right? And that was one of the hardest things. My hardest year was my 43rd year on the planet when my kids went to college. And I'm like, I don't know that I can survive this. Right? And then seeing the men that they turned into and watching them change and grow, that was magnificent. It's almost like the people that we coach and care for, what we really do is give them space to change and grow and become more so. That's really good, Colleen. Yeah.

I think it's really interesting. We all heard the same story, and I think each one of us personalized it in a different way, because for me, I went to the part around loss, around this little girl losing something that was so important to her and how we handle loss. And I think that even though, as Julie mentioned, you know, it's so bittersweet, you know, with. When we know this is part of our children's journey, and yet each one of us are sitting home, looking around, going, where'd they go?

So.

Sorry. Seeing as my son just walked out the door, it's. How do each one of us realize the bittersweet moment and then recognize it's an opportunity for us to really celebrate, not to focus on the negative piece, but really to look at that aspirational piece. As you mentioned, Ray, what an incredible young man my son's become.

And what a wonderful journey he's on with a mom that cares about him, supports him, and understands the need to Let go. The danger of wanting things for other people has a tendency to constrict them in their development. And that was just so natural and so real. Colleen, it just makes me love you more. And I get it. We all get it. We all have those incredible places of, oh, this is a loss and an opportunity. I lost my doll. But notice what Kafka did is he gave that little girl a bridge to the transition. And that's what you guys do for all of our clients. You give them bridges to the transition. They would say, well, you guys are experts in change leadership. I go, I don't know about that. What we're really good at is helping people grapple with what it is in the current reality that is going to change and be different in the new reality. So back to what do we work with? We are JLC associates that are in. We work with the conversation in front of us in the current reality. It's a magnificent thing. You guys were wonderful. Thank you for this opportunity. If you guys want to hear more about our work and JLC, hop into www.gojlc.com and you can find us. And I'm going to let each of my buddies say goodbye and state their names. Vince, you start us off.

Sure. So I'm Vince Starks. It's a pleasure to be here with you and I look forward to talking to you more in the future. Have a good evening.

Thank you, Vince. Colleen.

Colleen Sullivan here and looking forward to connecting and supporting people moving forward.

Beautiful, Nicole.

I'm Nicole Lyons and I look forward to seeing you all.

Jules.

I am Julie B. Wise and we all would love the opportunity to create a space for you to just pause and reflect on your own growth and development and how much you've changed and celebrating your successes.

You can see all of you that are listening to our podcast or watching us on YouTube why this company is truly special. And I am so grateful to have these people in my lives right now as I'm going on my journey and transitioning to a new place. And they keep sending me me letters and notes too, by the way, just in case you didn't know that. Thank you so much. And we're out of here right now as a JLC team.