30 October 2025

So a lot of the women that I speak to who are dating men or married to men who are not emotionally available ask me, how do I get my man to open up? And usually what I uncover is it's the way they're trying to invite or get their man to go deeper is actually creating the opposite. It's making him shut down more. And let me explain to you why and what you can start to do instead to support your man in going deeper. Got to remember, he most likely grew up in an environment where he was shamed, rejected, or told off for being too loud to be expressing his emotions or his vulnerability. So when you start saying to him, hey, why don't you just tell me how you're feeling? Why can't you just open up? It creates this mother energy, this control energy, which again triggers his upbringing in his relationship with his mom, which does the opposite. He wants to push those people away. He wants to push you away when you do that. So the best thing you do is give him respect, honor his process, but also create the conditions of safety. Men need safety as well to go into these areas. So you can create that by being secure within yourself, by being relaxed in your expression. Let your body language invite him in rather than pressure him. Emotional safety for a man looks like when he does open up or say you're not correcting him, interrupting him, or judging him. Another thing is you're not going to use what he says against him later. That's really important. And of course, if he it up or says it wrong, still accept and celebrate his effort. You don't have to agree with what he's saying, but you get to be patient and present and connected with yourself as he works through his own process.