Resilience & Rebuilding: Discipline Through Challenge | Ft Trae Frisbee

Welcome to the Optimizing Beyond podcast. I'm Josh Negron, and this show's all about sharing lessons, ideas, and strategies that sharpen your thinking, strengthen your habits, and push you to grow beyond comfort zones. Let's dive in. Today, I've got with me a dear friend of mine named Trey Frisbee. This guy has been a huge part of my fitness, nutrition, and health journey for many years now. And I knew I wanted to get him on the show because when I think optimize and somebody that's helped me over the years, it's been Trey. So Trey, tell us a little bit about yourself.

Man, yeah, so my name's Trey, figuring out life and want to help as many people as I can on the way through it. So yeah, no, I appreciate you saying that about me and you and Ashley both have been great mentors to myself and Haley as well. So I appreciate that.

Absolutely, man. That's how we do it, you know, in community. That's why we talk about who's in your circles is one of the most important things in life. So yeah, absolutely honored to have you as a part of my team, in my opinion.

Appreciate that.

Yeah, boy. So Trey, share with us a little bit growing up, because I find that typically for people who have a lot of discipline or have things that transcend, you know, even especially decades of their life, missions and things that they're passionate about, typically there's things that go way back that are sources of fuel and inspiration for those kinds of things. Can you tell us like your top things as to why this is kind of the field that you're so passionate about?

Yeah, for sure. So I grew up playing sports like very early in life.

Yeah, this guy's a natural athlete, folks. Like this guy can catch anything from anywhere, not even looking like it's infuriating really.

I gotta keep that under wraps. I can't let everybody know, you know?

Oh, that's right.

My bad. I think the first toy that I had when I was a kid was like a ball. I think my dad still has it at his house today. I found it the other day whenever I was up there. So always doing stuff like that. You name it, baseball, soccer, basketball, anything, anything that I could do that had a ball in it, I was all for it. Grew up early playing that. And I think sports really just kind of set a lot of the disciplines that I have now from a young age. A lot of great coaches, the kids that I was in sports with, like all of them hard workers. The town that I grew up in from junior high to high school, there was a park within walking distance from our And a bunch of friends lived close to that. So I mean, just, we didn't know it, but we were disciplining ourselves at that young age to go work on these things. My parents were amazing at, hey, yes, you can go do this, but you need to make sure we've got homework done. Hey, you gotta be here to eat. Hey, you gotta, just all the little things that I didn't know was installing discipline in me from a young age just kind of really is carried over. The more that I become more disciplined with myself, the more I'm like, man, they really had me doing that right when I was younger. Sports, sports, sports, sports like crazy led to tons of injuries with sports. I have had something called Osgood-Schlatter's in my knees. Basically, it's, I hit a growth spurt and my tendons couldn't keep up with my bones growing. So my patella tendon was ripping off the bone as I got older. Tons of— yeah, I know, it sounds grosser than what it really was, but it led to— it looked like I had a second kneecap on there.

Wow.

So it's very painful at that age. It doesn't bother me nearly as much now. Still some sensitivity and things like that, which is from me learning how to be disciplined and not taking care of myself at a young age. No, the sports injuries and my parents, man. Like it was the, it was the golden trifecta really.

So from the injury perspective, I mean, that's what, that's what can stop so many people. So how in such a young age did you not just quit? I mean, you're like, you know what? I think band is cool.

Let's just do that.

You know, what kept you focused on fitness and movement?

Absolutely. So complete honesty, it never made me want to quit. Sports, I really started to struggle in school anytime that I was injured. Like the fun of everything is what I was looking forward to. And school at the time was like an annoying thing that I had to do in order to play sports. So if I couldn't play sports, then like, why should I care about school? Like, I don't care about, you know, my, my language arts essay that I have to write tomorrow. Like, I want to go to the basketball game that we had in 2 days. So having to deal with that and, and I think 6th grade was the first time that I started to have some knee issues.

Mm-hmm.

I never really missed any significant time, but at a young age, like sports is what I love to do. So not being able to do that was just world crushing for me. My mom worked at the school, so grades started to slip a little bit and she was very quick to, come on, you gotta pull yourself out of this. We got some work to do. Remember, if you don't do good in school, you don't play sports. So it'd be a shame for you to let that slip now while you're hurt. Get healthy and then your grades are bad and you still can't play sports. That took me a while to figure out, but it got me motivated again. And it was just up and downs with that from all the way from 6th grade to graduating high school to getting into college and, um, doing those really like, oh, okay, mom, you're right. I'm on it. Get my grades together. Yeah, it, uh, it never made me wanna quit the sports itself, but it made the rest of life pretty hard. Even at a young age. So yeah, I did. If I would've had to figure that out by myself, I don't know if I would've finished high school, honestly. Mom, dad, friends, everyone else was kind of, what are you doing, dummy? Get your stuff together. Let's go.

Yeah. And I mean, it makes sense. You know, you're most motivated by fitness. And so they were, they were in a way positioning that as like the carrot, you know, like, hey, we know how much you love this. You can do it again, but you don't wanna sabotage it and make it to where you can't. You know, that's, that's pretty smart.

Absolutely. Yeah. They, they had that figured out, man. And I didn't for a long time.

Well, that's why they're there, right? To kind of help us out with that. No, I absolutely love that. So, I mean, you and I have also talked in the past about how, you know, we, we touched on physical challenges and injury and getting out of that. And I think that's why when Ashley was hurt, you know, you were such a help to her in like how she could get back into, into some quality movement. But talk to us also about, I mean, you know, life isn't always ideal. And in the episode where I had Eric Dwyer on, you know, we talked about for an hour about how to optimize when life isn't optimal. You faced some tragedies early on, and so emotionally those were really challenging. And so how did you handle not losing your priority of health and fitness and movement in those darker times?

I really, the community that was around me, kept me going straight. So my freshman year of high school, uh, my mom ended up passing away from breast cancer, one strain of cancer. So ignoring like my own injuries and things that I have, her passing away really, really hit me hard. It was right at the beginning of our basketball season and basketball was like the number one sport that I loved to play. She liked to come watch my games. My dad was always at all the games.

Mm-hmm.

So as she got sicker, you know, she had to miss games and practices and things like that. But she passed away 3 days before my first high school basketball game.

Hmm.

That hit me like a ton of bricks. But like at her funeral visitation, everything like that, uh, the whole basketball team came through. Like I was just some freshman high school punk kid, you know, I didn't know anything, but coach made it a point for the whole team to come through. Pick me up, uh, make sure I kept my head up, kept my head on straight and got through everything.

Mm-hmm.

I think like, completely honestly, I think I went back to school too soon. I don't think I took time for myself to kind of process and grieve. Um, and I don't, like, if I take a step back, I don't know if I was there for my dad as much as he was there for me. Like I was saying, there's 3 days before That first game. So the day before, 2 days after my mom had passed, I'm begging my dad to, I have to go to school cuz if I don't go to school, I can't go to this game. Uh, good old Misha, Missouri State High School rules.

Mm-hmm.

And he was, he was very much so like, yeah, cool. Sounds good. Let's get you back in school. Very thankful for that. But that led to, you know, some, some more of my mental struggles and issues. Later down the road, just with grieving and trying to process that, especially at a young age.

Hmm.

The team, the coaches, my dad, all my friends, they're the ones who just kind of kept me, kept me moving the right direction. Focus, get through each day. They were there if I needed somebody to talk to, process, anything like that. Uh, really they were great. So, um, that's why I am a really big person about You're gonna be as good as the people you hang out with. I wanna surround myself with as many successful, positive, like-minded individuals as I can. The more people that I know that way, the more comfortable I feel in my own skin. People that challenge me and push me, that, that's just what I want. So the community and the, the groups that you find closest to you, I mean, I think that's definitely what kept me moving that right direction.

Hmm. No, that makes, that makes total sense. You talked about the impact of coaches in your life. A lot of people in this area, they know you as Coach Trey. And so what led to your transformation and transition from just a normal athlete to the guy who is now that coach for others and can be that role model, that influence, and that guidance?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm not 100% sure. I liked in, in my younger age, like now that I'm older and can think about it, I liked being someone that could step up under pressure. I could help others. Every sport that I played, was a team sport, so I didn't mind being the one to, hey, I'll go first. Like, I can, whatever we're doing, let me lead, let me go, stuff like that. So I think that kind of transitioned into getting into college. Not many high-level college programs are looking for a 5'6 kid that can't jump and dunk, and you're, you're only gonna go so far in sports that way. So. Realizing that, okay, hey, I'm done with my own team sports. I need to find something different. That led me to CrossFit. Uh, getting into that was great because I felt like I was back at sports practice, uh, working real hard, sweating in the trenches with a group of people that were all trying to accomplish the same goal of finish that workout, get healthier, get fitter, all of that good stuff. So that was, that was really cool having that. In finding CrossFit. The coaches that we had there, I was like, man, these guys show up every day and they're not, they're not training pro athletes. They're not like, like coaching, I always thought of somebody trying to level everyone up in a sport to make it as high as you can. Seeing someone coach just your average person to, I want you to show up every day. Hey, I want you to, your goal is to lose the 10 pounds. Like, how can I help you lose that 10 pounds as quick as possible? Like see them coach them in life in that perspective. was kind of like that light bulb moment for me of, oh, there's, there's more to this than just sports itself. Like this is a full life thing. So that was, that was the first real aha, not kid Trey moment, trying to figure out life a little bit. Very thankful to, grew up in a small town. College town I went to was a small town. I got into personal training. You need a certification to do some personal training, uh, just at like the local community center. I didn't know any other form of fitness besides CrossFit, so I was like, well, let's go get my CrossFit Level 1. Found out that was $1,000 to get. Young 19-year-old Trey did not have $1,000 by any means to go do something like that. The coach that was at the CrossFit gym, also the owner, still a really good friend, his name is Alan. He said, hey, if you're gonna go get this, we'll pay for half of it. If you can come up with the other half, um, you'll, you'll coach and pay that back. Once you pay that back, then I can start paying you for it. I was like, yeah, done.

Uh-huh.

Cool. Sounds great. So I think I found a course that was within the state of Missouri in like 2 weeks and basically sat down with my dad and was like, hey, can I have $500? He goes, excuse me, what? For what? So, um, had to kind of run him through, this is what I got going on. This is how quick this is coming up. Like, whatever you need, help on the farm, whatever I can do, like I'm here for it. And, and my dad has installed a ton of great personal traits in me. He saw a dream, he could help out, he helped out. And I'm still to this day very thankful for that. I think if that would've been drug out for another few weeks, few months of me trying to crunch pennies and save some money and Wait on that, I don't know if I would've stuck with it. You know, I, I got a squirrel brain, so I think I would've, no, let's go do this over here instead of that. I think I would've just kept jumping around trying to figure that out. Both of them helped me out, got my level 1, the first class that I got to get in front of and, you know, hey, here's your workout, here's the warmup we're gonna do. Everybody get together, let's warm up. Um, that first class where I really got to lead people. I was, oh man, I left that day with the biggest smile on my face. I was, hey, that felt good. That was fun. I can't remember if I was 19 or 20 at that time, but that was like pure joy to me. Worked, worked really hard at that. And thankfully Alan was very, very gracious at letting me have as many classes as I could handle. I think I was coaching like some, sometimes 3 to 4 classes Uh, a day, 3 to 5 times a week. It felt like I was trying to be there just as much as he was. Uh, and he owned the place, man. He was, he was there. He was the one that unlocked the doors. He was the one that locked the doors when we left. I was trying to coach that first class. I wanted to coach the last class. I wanted the one in the middle as much as I could. I was like, this, this is my thing. I found this. Started sophomore year of college. That's when I started coaching. Uh, and then my brother ended up passing away in a car crash in October, um, of 20— man, I don't even remember what year now. Was it 2016? Maybe 2015?

Hmm.

Something like that. Um, but that was right at that start, sophomore year of college, really starting to coach more and do more. And losing him, man, hit me like a ton of bricks. I was living with him and his wife, uh, and their 3 kids while I went to college. My dad still hadn't retired from his full-time job yet, so he was living in another town, you know, doing his thing, just making it through each day. Losing him definitely, like, I stepped back from everything for a while. I think I missed like 2 weeks of school.

Mm-hmm.

I probably didn't set foot Back in that gym for about a month. I kind of quit doing some CrossFit. I was doing like bodybuilding pro type lifts just at that local community center. And I was, I was waking up and eating and taking a nap and eat again and go back and sleep for the day. And it was, uh, I was very much so as depressed as I had been probably ever. So was still living with Laura, my brother's wife, was still living with them and their kids.

Mm-hmm.

So I was just trying to, hey, if I can run kids to school or help pick 'em up or whatever I could do, I wanted to be there to help. You know, family comes first, always. So trying to help them, trying to help myself, the, the community at that CrossFit gym pulled me outta that. Um, back to what I was saying before, the people that you hang out with, the people that I was closest to, whether it be text messages, whether it be them calling me in the middle of the day, you name it, man, they were reaching out. If they saw me, it was a small town, so usually always run into Somebody that I know somewhere, even if it was gentle nudges out in public of, hey man, I hope things are going good. Hope to see you at the gym soon. Like pulled me back outta that. Yeah. So I think that, you know, those timelines of things and the communities that I was with really made me just want to invest in them as much as I possibly could. Being around them, helping them grow, making sure that they don't slip into any kind of, uh, deep, dark, dirty places that our minds take us sometimes. Um, and that they stay positive, uplifted, and just like I, like I keep saying, just move in the right direction.

Yeah, that's amazing. Now I, I wanna pull on a small thread you talked about there in that the, how helpful the community was in reaching out to you in the dark time. I find that there's, there's somebody that I know that's going through a, a really rough time right now and mentioned Rightfully so, that some people say the stupidest things to you when you're grieving, you know? And so I think—

Yeah, they do.

The consequence of the opposite of that is that sometimes people don't— because you don't have any of the right words, right? And then you're like, I don't want to not say anything, but I want them to know I'm thinking about them. So for you, do you have in your mind, like, the top 2 or 3 things that you found most valuable when you were in that place? Like what people can do? When they know someone's hurting?

That's a good question. And I totally know what they're saying. And I, granted, I'm guilty of this too. You know, the first time that I had to deal with a close friend or family member's tragic loss, it wasn't like a severe loss of my own. I think the first thing I said to someone going into their visitation is I gave them a hug and I said, how are you doing? Like, what do you mean, how are you doing? Like, oh no.

Yeah.

Yeah. It was one of the— I said it, I saw their face and was like, oh, I said that. And I just hugged 'em again and I'll talk to you later, huh? I'm gonna scoot. I don't think there are right words, period. Like, I think just being there and being a sounding board is probably the best that anyone could do. When my mom passed away, friends, family, everything like that came over, and I think the most value I got It was just some friends that just sat with me. Um, I wasn't, you know, bawling, crying, anything like that. But the ones that were just there, like that, I, I knew and felt the, if I need something, I know I can ask 'em. Like just having, having that. I, yeah, I don't know if there are any right words, period. There's no words that I can remember hearing in either one of those times that were the, like, That felt good. I think it was just the continuous efforts, even if, even if there were some that you were like, why would you say that? But the fact that they kept trying or kept saying something, um, yeah, I think those are, those were the biggest things really.

No, that's super powerful.

It is. Absolutely. And I know that I'm guilty too of, like I was saying, somebody that's dealing with something or going through something, having words just period. I think that I'm very much so a, uh, Let me, let me show up and show you that I care. Uh, I can have some powerful words from time to time, but I'm a, if you need help with this, let me go do something for you. I'm a doer. I'll do, do whatever I can for the people that I love. So I don't know, that could just be a me thing too. Like I would just rather have that physical connection, the personal connection versus the text or the phone call or anything like that.

No, I, I think you're actually onto something there because I, I hear this similar thing reflected by people often that, you know, hey, Just someone's presence is more powerful than their words. And there may not be any right words. I think you're right. Because it's— that's— I think that's why we feel that angst. You're like, I want to say something comforting, but I don't feel like— but there are definitely wrong words, right? Like you said, like, how are you? Which I've done at a visitation too. There's also weird, stupid crap. Like anything that starts with at least, you should just Not just keep it to yourself, you know, like, well, at least, you know, no, no, no, stop.

Stop right now.

I do wanna highlight that, that presence is the most powerful thing. I think that's super spot on.

Yep, absolutely.

So you mentioned power of figuring out the license to be able to do something in that arena. And the reason why I wanna pull that out as well is I've had my mentors say before that Some of them believe that mentorship or something that you have to invest in, whether it's financial or from an effort standpoint or both, have more value than something that's given for free. And so the reason why I wanted to ask you about that is because you mentioned like if your dad hadn't helped you and Alan hadn't helped you, that maybe you wouldn't have stuck with it. But I wonder, do you think that if there wasn't a barrier of entry like that, that you had to get some sort of certification or whatever, and you could have just Started personal training, do you think there would've been any difference there?

Yeah, that's a really good question. I do. I think if I could have been able to just get online and take a fitness quiz and pass it and have it have a certification then, um, and be able to do that, I don't know if I would've taken as much pride in it. I think I probably would've still found some passion with leading and coaching and things like that, but I wouldn't be excited to tell someone that, hey, I've got my CrossFit Level 1. Like, I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm saying. No, I don't think I would've stuck with it. Probably any really, I would've, I would've enjoyed the coaching, but I wouldn't have, I wouldn't have cared about a certification or a title or a license, anything like that. Kind of like right now. So I'm in school for massage therapy. I think I've got about 4 or 5 months left and then I'm done with that. Going back to school was really tough. I'm not great at school anyways. Uh, but finding the way to pay for that really made me push myself and work hard. You know, like you were saying, if, uh, If you pay for something, you don't want this to be the main motivation. If there's something, you know, hanging over my head of you're paying this money, or are you gonna let it slip away? Come on, you gotta, you gotta try at least a little bit on here. Now, granted, in the state of Missouri, you need 650 hours through textbook stuff and clinicals and anatomy and physiology, all that stuff combined. In the state of Kansas, you do not need a license to be a massage therapist at all.

Yeah.

I could go find a building to rent, I could throw a table and a room, put a big old sign up that says Massage by Trey, whatever, whatever I want it to be, and start charging and performing massages with no legal repercussions or anything like that. I think that if that was the same thing here in Missouri, I don't think there's any way that I would be doing that. One, I'm, I'm, I'm kind of a squirrel brain, but I know, I know how business and stuff works. If there's no barrier of entry, then the market's probably gonna be oversaturated and a whole bunch of 'em and a whole lot of not good names and things like that. I don't think I would even entertain that no matter how much I do enjoy it. But here, uh, we're real close to Kansas where we're at, where we're located here in Missouri. I know people can drive 15 minutes to go get a massage from somebody over there who may or may not have licenses. And that was a budget thought that came through my head was, hey, if I'm serious about doing this, I can drive 15 or 20 minutes to work every day and just throw up a space and start trying to do some things. But Like you were saying too, and I don't think I would've stuck with it or tried nearly as hard as, as I could. That is tough. Like I, I love giving free information and helping as many people as possible. So like the, like lover in me wants, if somebody wants to learn something or do something, like I want it to be as easy as possible for them to do it. But there has to be a barrier of entry to people that want to, that want to take that and try to help others. I don't know. I know the, uh, barrier of entry and trying to like find ways ways to make those harder are good. Like, I know it, but that still doesn't change it. Like, in my heart, I don't know, I've got some weird, a little bit of a weird mindset on that.

Yeah, yeah. We're reading a book right now on our management team by Brandon Thornhill, and he says there's a lot of value in paid mentorship. He's like, but there are other instances where you can get value from a mentor. And he's specifically talking about mentorship in this case, But he's like, there are other instances, like if you become a friend to the mentor, for example, then that person will want to help you just because of the relationship, because you provide value to them, they'll exchange value back. And so there's some other caveats that I think probably dovetail with why you're feeling that tension. But man, you do totally hit it as far as on the massage side where you're like, no, this has— and the pride that you took in the certification you got back home. They're like, no, this has value. This took me work and intentionality. And it also adds some credit to you. You're like, no, no, no, I know what I'm talking about. Look, this is my, this is what I worked towards. This is what I learned. So by that nature, like for our local listeners, tell 'em where you are, what you're doing, how they can find you.

Yep. So, uh, little plug. I appreciate that. I am a student at Harmony School of Massage in Joplin. It's over real close to 4th and Main. I am in my student clinicals right now, so I am performing massages on people. Uh, you can book through the school's website. If you Google it, the website pops up and then my name's on there. That's right.

We'll put it in the show notes too.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. I do licenses and certifications and things like that. Um, today's day and age, I think that those becoming harder to get are a good thing because I know for my CrossFit stuff, like I used it as some marketing on My social media pages. If I could post that with my name on it and explain kind of what it is or what I do or how I'm doing it, I think that that helped me get into, you know, the, some of the other careers that I've had, whether it be managing at Five Star or working at 24 here in town, or like any, anything that's kind of changed my path, being able to use those correctly, like you were saying, as A credential and credential. Yeah, that's a big word. Credential to, hey, look, I know what I'm talking about and here's proof. Like here, I have this because I need that. I need help with that.

Right, right. So Trey, obviously you've been in the, in the movement space for a long time. I love that you're getting into the massage space now because you're able to help athletes that were like you to move better. So it's just another dimension of what you're passionate about, which is super, super cool to see you do, to be honest, from my perspective. And so I think people get overwhelmed. You know, we talk about the all-or-nothing mentality a lot, you know, how people are like, well, I want to get fit, I have to start moving. And then they start thinking in a frenzy of all the things that they have to do. And they make these drastic goals, overwhelm themselves, they can't follow through, then they just stop. So what is— you know, you've been doing this a really long time. For someone who knows they need to get off the couch, knows they need to get their health in check, but they don't know what to do, what are some of your rapid-fire things that you're like, try this, try that? What are the things you say? Yeah.

In doing personal training, the number one thing that we saw with people is even though you're trying to lose weight, I guarantee you're undereating. Say that again.

What was that? What?

Yeah, exactly. Even though you're trying to lose weight, I can guarantee you you're undereating. Now the FDA, everything like that is all talking about protein. You can't walk around Walmart in any aisle without seeing something with protein on it. Pop-Tarts even came out with a Protein Pop-Tart is there. Oh, hey, we're super deficient in this. Maybe we should eat more of it. Nice. About time. Here we go.

Yeah.

Man, the nutrition is probably the number one thing. And most everyone, I'd never, ever, ever talked about taking food away. We added more food to what they were eating already. It was, hey, I want you, we're going to get a protein shake in a day. I don't care what else you eat. Protein helps you feel fuller longer. Whether it be a shake, eating a steak, having a hamburger, whatever it may be, just protein. It can just make you feel full. So that was probably the number one thing that I talked to people about was that. Other than that was movement. What do you do at work? Do you sit at a desk all day? How hard would it be for you to walk for 5, 10 minutes total in a day? Whether that be send whatever document you're doing, get up, Walk to the bathroom, come back, do that 3 or 4 times. Anything, anything just to get people up. I've even done things of a, hey, you do some good movement throughout the day. I want you to, if you're going to scroll on your phone, you have to be in the bottom of a squat. If you're going to scroll TikTok, Instagram, anything like that, you have to be in a squat position doing that. Some people don't realize how much they scroll Instagram and TikTok till they can't walk our next session. They're, my legs are killing me. Yeah. Steps. Steps are always a good thing. Just get up and move, stretch. If you can do something that will make someone feel better, the likelihood of them doing it more or adding something to that always piles up. If you do something like, hey, I need you to work out 5 days a week starting now, you don't work out at all, that can make them sore and uncomfortable and not feel good. So then they're not gonna—

Mm-hmm.

Why would I do that? Like, I just, I hurt more than what I did before. So anything just to Even if you can get 'em to get up and stretch, they will feel better after that. If they will do, you know, go out and walk for 5 minutes after they eat dinner, they're gonna sleep better, their digestion's gonna be better, like all of those things. So it's really different for each person, but do something to make 'em feel better. Don't take anything away yet. Keep stacking and piling. I just rattled that off. I really had to check myself this year and the end of last year, starting school and everything like that. I fell off. The gym, fitness, health, everything like that hard. School, sitting down to read a book, taking a test, doing things like that are not my strong suit at all. So paying the money to go do that, that was my number one focus. If I would've just stuck with hitting the gym some more and staying disciplined, I'd be in a lot better shape. But I didn't. Almost everyone has a period in life where they fall off of something. This was just another one of mine, just kind of another check on the list. When, when did Trey fall off of fitness again? Here. Perfect. So we're, we're back on it now. I jumped right back in, like I was hitting full-fledged leg days, chest and back and arms. And I was going to go run some more and ran a 5K. And then my body was like, what are you doing to me? So I had to back that up a little bit. And one thing after another, slow, steady progress. So really, I think after years of telling people that, me having to do it again, Kind of backed off that perspective, like the ruthlessness that I was starting to have with some people that I've already told 'em this, if they're not gonna do it, then guess they're not gonna do it. Me having to remind myself countless times, days on end for months at a time. Yeah, stuff's hard, man. Life's hard.

That's right. It's tough cuz it's not, it's not grand, it's not sexy, it's not immediate. Like it's this slow progression. And I think the default mode of most people is they want, they wanna see It's get rich quick. You know what I mean? Like, what's the one pill? What's the one thing I can do? And then, you know, then I won't have to, you know. And so what you're describing is that layered, like create that foundation. Well, you're as a personal trainer background, you're assessing where they're at and then you're like, okay, how is the foundation? If it doesn't exist, build it. If it does exist, reinforce it and then, you know, keep stacking on top. And I love that, you know, you, you were super honest too. Even people who've been in the gym for decades, like you and I, there are always times that you're just not feeling it. And like you said, it kind of humbled you too, because you're not gonna be— it actually makes you a better coach, 'cause you're not gonna be a hypocrite, you know, asking people.

Yep, yep.

'Cause you're like, no, no, no, I remember when I was in a season. And then that translates into your coaching too. So yeah, the consistency beats intensity. I heard that this week and I was like, oh, that's solid. Like, you're gonna see more growth in any area, not just fitness, if you're consistent over spending 3 hours a week in the gym for one session. Like that's just not going to do it for you.

Absolutely. Absolutely. That's, uh, yeah. Say that again. Consistency beats intensity.

That's it.

Yeah. I like that. I need to be on a t-shirt or something.

Get on a t-shirt.

Yeah, right there. Yeah.

Well, Trey, we're really, we're reaching the end of the, of the session. Is there anything else that you can think of that, that you want to share?

No, I mean, I think more, more just kind of like me, anyone that knows me, I'm always happy-go-lucky. Awesome guy. I want to be the person that others want to be around. I want to be the, man, did you see Trey smiling today? Like, that dude's always happy. Like, if, if they see me this way, it's, I want it to be impossible for you to not smile back at me. That type of positivity and energy can spread like wildfire. That's really like my biggest why, like just spread some positivity, spread some good energy, make people smile. One of my favorite quotes is, be somebody that makes everybody feel like a somebody. That's Yeah, like I want, I want people to be heard. I want them to be seen. I want them to smile and I want them to make someone else be heard, feel seen, make them smile.

Yeah, because that spreads. Yeah. And right now it's probably arguably more valuable than it, it ever has been.

Yeah, absolutely. Nothing has ever really tested that. And me and my beliefs, like, I mean, I'm going to say it, I'm like, COVID did, man, that wear the mask and hide your face and don't go out in public. Oh, that was soul sucking for me. I would go to Walmart just to go buy an energy drink cuz I knew I had to walk to the back of the store and hopefully walk past people just to crack a, how are you doing? Oh, sorry, let me get outta your way. Just anything like that to smile and nod. Yeah, man, that, I tested it hard. The change I saw in people once we got to start taking some masks off and smile and, and look at each other and be normal again, that, that reinforced it after that of, okay, hey, you know, my My mind's right on this. Like, you need to keep working, keep trying, keep moving the right direction.

That's it. And I'll tell you guys, I've— I work with Trey at our normal W-2 jobs, and I'll tell you that, uh, it's the real deal. Like, he practices that, um, more than anyone I know, and he, he lives that out. And so just think about that this week. Like, how can you be somebody that people want to be around? And then that old adage of you never know when someone— what You never know what someone's going through. And so be quick to smile, be quick to see people, make them feel seen as well, because you never, like I said, you'll never know what somebody's going through and how one smile or one kind word can leave them feeling so much different, so much better, and can cause a chain reaction in the other way. 'Cause Lord knows we need that right now more than ever in today's age where negativity honestly just spreads so fast, right?

Absolutely.

All right, well, thanks everybody for listening to the Optimizing Beyond podcast. Remember, growth happens When you take action. So subscribe, share this with a friend, and most importantly, go to see Trey at Harmony Massage and put what you learned into practice. Until next time, keep moving forward because as we know, daily anything changes everything.