How To Turn Stress Into Your Greatest Strength
After a year of severe anxiety, the host learned that stress is a demand for energy, not inherent evil. She explains two states: Powerful (calm, creative) and Primal (anxious, depleted), driven by the meanings we assign to events. Three steps shift you out: notice your state, recognize limiting thoughts as lies, and reroute your thinking in the moment.
Chapters
Welcome to another episode of Health Goat. Today we're going to journey through something that can be the difference between whether you live a life of misery and unfulfillment and depression and anxiety and hopelessness versus a life that is filled with, uh, delightfulness, fulfillment, hope, joy, calmness, peace, serenity, all of those great things that you want to live through. And I'm going to be very transparent even about my own experience and what I personally went through. A lot of times people feel like just because you are a health expert, or that you understand health to a different degree as maybe the general population, that you don't go through trials. And I want to be honest about a trial that I went through, and it was the worst period of my life. And, um, I, I just want to just share exactly what I did to get out of that situation and how I got to where I am right now. And I'm telling you, you're going to learn something very valuable from this, because if you want to live a life where you experience the peace and the joy that you really long to have, then this is going to be for you. And I'm going to teach you a principle that if you live by for the rest of your life, it will change the outcome and the trajectory of every single thing you do in your life, including your relationships, your money, your health and well-being. Like, all of these different variables that is inclusive of your lifestyle will align in a different way. And, uh, and it's simple, but yet it takes a lot of intentionality. And so let's dive right in because I think you're going to learn something very, very special that you can apply to your life, and we'll journey through it together. So let me just start by saying this, uh, early on, um, the, the idea of, uh, prioritizing stress and prioritizing your understanding of it as it pertains to you, your life, and, uh, how well you're managing it, uh, the state of your emotions, all that is involved in the stress subject in general is going to be targeted. And I have learned— here is a valuable nugget— I have learned to, no matter what comes my way, prioritize my well-being by making sure my stress is manageable and in alignment at the right point. Because when we talk about stress, it's not technically bad in a sense. It just is bad when you don't have enough energy that is required by that stressor. Okay? And so I'll help you to understand what that means. And so stress is something that our bodies, um, deal with in order to conserve us and to protect us and, you know, allow us to overcome the obstacle that we're facing. And so I talk a lot about the sympathetic system, the, um, fight or flight or freeze mode, and that is a part of our mechanism that is used to help to protect us from stressors, from situations that occur where we actually need it. And the problem that we're running into is that so many people are overstressed. They have such a high accumulation of stress that it is breaking down their bodies, quite frankly, and they are not able to heal, and they're not able to restore and to regenerate. And so we have to understand this idea of stress as it pertains to energy demands. There is a demand of energy when it comes to stress. For example, if I am exercising and, um, I'm running on a treadmill, right? Well, uh, that is a stressor to my body. However, it doesn't have to be a bad stressor. It could be a good stressor in a sense of, you know, allowing my body to be able to adapt to this particular stress. And, uh, in the, in the end, it could really benefit me. However, if I am dealing with a lot of other stressors that are happening all at once, that is requiring a demand of energy from my body, and my body is not able to meet the demand of that energy, then it could be a point where that running does more harm to my body than good. Everybody handles stress differently, and for some it could be good, and for others it could be bad. And what I've learned how to do is to prioritize the stress and to make sure that my body has the energy to meet the demand of that stress. In other words, I must prioritize energy over any and everything. And I'll walk you through my personal discovery with this and, um, just, just something very traumatic that I went through. And, um, I don't even know if I can verbalize the amount of trauma that I went through from it because it was, um, it was something that had to be felt and experienced in order to understand. And so there's some of you who may understand because you've gone through the same thing, and maybe others you won't understand because honestly, before I went through it, I didn't quite understand it as much. And so I went through maybe about 5 years ago or so— no, maybe about 7 years ago, it's been a little longer— I went through a very horrible case of anxiety. And again, that could just sound like a simple word to some people, and I'm not talking about a few panic attacks here and there, or, you know, heart racing and everything. I'm talking about 9 to, you know, 11 months of just continual, um, anxiety that never left, that left me not able to sleep, feeling like I was gonna die every time I closed my eyes. Um, I went to I don't know how many different naturopathic doctors and did blood work and wound up in ER rooms, you know, every month, and, you know, on a lot of supplements. Like, I didn't know what was going wrong with me, and, um You know, in hindsight, of course, you know, it was just that my body was overstressed. And guess what? I was doing a lot of quote-unquote healthy things during that time. But I didn't understand the, the equation of energy. All right, I didn't understand that I, I didn't— my body was overstressed, and I didn't have enough energy to meet those demands. And so I went through a really rough time because I have 3 children. And every single night I went to bed at night, I thought I was going to die, and I thought I was going to leave them behind. And it was almost like because of this anxiety, I was aligning my life with that belief system, with that idea that I was going to die. And I'm going to talk a little bit about that because that's important to understand. First of all is that my body was aligning with these belief systems and was manifesting certain things from that belief system. And then that exacerbated the process because now my body's manifesting things and I really feel like I'm about to check up out of here. And so everything I was doing was in alignment with that, just feeling like when I lay down at night I might not wake back up. And, uh, at the time I could just tell you my lifestyle was this, like I was doing a lot of exercising, a lot, a ton, like boxing and high-intensity interval training and, uh, long-distance running and weightlifting and, um, CrossFit. I mean, you name it, I was doing it, and I was exhausting myself. Um, and, and if you ask me, I thought I was pretty fit or whatever, but I remember I started to get heart palpitations. And so that was a sign that probably something was not right, because I didn't have them before that point. The last time I had dealt with heart palpitations was when I was in high school, when I was really unhealthy, and I had, um inflammation of the heart. And so I, I, you know, I, I was doing also a lot of fasting. I was fasting probably, um, every day, and then maybe 3 times a week, or anytime I travel I would fast for like a few days. I was just doing a lot of fasting, meaning I wasn't eating a lot, honestly. And I probably was very restrictive of my calories during that time. And I just, I just thought these were all good things for my body. And, um, I'm not saying that they can't be good things for certain people who have, you know, the, the environment or who have the, the health status where they do have enough energy to operate off of stress hormones. And we'll get into that in a minute. Um, but obviously it worked until it didn't work. And some things work until they just don't work anymore. That's what a lot of people got to realize this, because like we get stuck in this doing the same thing and we might feel a little better but it doesn't mean that we're optimizing the way we feel, right? And so, like, if you have negative emotions, there's like a chain or a level of the type of negative emotions you can have. Like, at the bottom might be like hopelessness or something, but then if you come up a little higher, maybe anger feels better than hopelessness, but anger definitely is not a place where you want to stay. And then maybe feeling bored feels better than feeling angry, but do you really want to feel bored for the rest of your life? You see, so sometimes when we're at a place, like, we'll do something and we'll feel a lot better, right? And so then we just kind of stay there, and we think because we feel a little bit better that this is the ideal place to be at. But that's not how you should look at things. You should continually evolve and try to figure out how to feel better, how to get where you want to get, and Sometimes, honestly, that's the problem with certain diets, is that if you use a certain diet to get certain results, you might get the results, but is that the ideal way for you to live for the rest of your life? That's a different question, and you gotta monitor that. And so you'll, you'll hear me even start to shift with my understanding of certain diets and certain lifestyle habits and things like that, because, you know, I give information independently. Like, this information could be valuable for somebody, but it doesn't mean just because I give it, that that's where you need to be for the rest of your life. There could come a time that maybe a certain way of eating that I might promote because it helps with inflammation or it helps with, you know, reversing certain chronic illnesses— like, there may come a time where that particular information is now more harmful than good, right? So, you know, there's a time where exercise is, is, you know, is really good for you, and then there may be certain times where that particular exercise is not good for you, or There may be times when a relationship is good for you. It's better than where it's— where you were before. But then there's a time where maybe that relationship is no longer serving you and it's actually hindering you or, you know, holding you back or whatever. And so the point is you have to evaluate at every place of your life where you are, and is this the most ideal place for you to be right now? And are there things that you can tweak along the way to make you have a better outcome in life? And so at that point, I had a lot of healthy habits. However, I was, I was just overstressed. Like, there came a point of time where these stress hormones that I was operating under, or that I was operating, um, by, were no longer serving me. And like, I had to now prioritize coming out of stress. And so what did that mean? That mean I had to activate my parasympathetic system. I had to calm down. I had to slow down. And I remember this being very hard for me because I am somewhat addicted to exercise a bit. Like, I'm that person that, like, if I'm exercising and, like, I don't know, I break my knee in the middle of exercise— I know that's really extreme— like, I'm gonna try to finish whatever agenda I had. Like, and I know that's not healthy, I'm just being honest, but I'm a little addicted. I'll never forget, you know, I was running track and I was on a relay team and my hamstring had pulled and snapped in the middle of me running, and I had to get that baton to the next person, so I just, like, ran on a pulled— a fully, fully pulled hamstring. It was very painful. But I'm just saying, I'm just being honest. Like, that's the type of person I am, right? And so, um, for me to slow down with exercising, especially because I've deemed it as like something that I absolutely enjoy doing, and it's just like, it's so mentally refreshing for me. Like, I can't start my day before I exercise. It's just, it's a, it's a part of my identity, actually, guys. It's a part of my identity. Like, And so, um, so it was very hard, you know. I've exercised 99% of my life. I started at 12 years old. I got a gym membership at 12, and I've been exercising ever since. Um, so, and then even before then, I was like competitively running races and stuff like that. And so, yeah, like, I had to go back. I had to go from like working out 6, 7 days a week down to like 2 to 3 times a week. But I did it for my health. And that's when I started to realize that you know, all of these, like, these disciplines that, you know, like, I had to stick to or whatever, like, I had to pull back on some of them. And some of those are good disciplines that somebody on the outside would say, hey, you look like you're disciplined, you're doing this, like, these are really good things. But for a moment, they weren't good for me, right? And so you have to figure that out for yourself. And so I had to pull back, and I had to stop doing the exercising, um, as, as I was doing it. And, um, even when I— one time I had like 3 bulging discs in my, in my neck. And I had to, um, my doctor told me at the time, my physical therapist told me like, don't lift anything like over 10 pounds. Like, that was so hard for me, uh, because I loved lifting weights at, you know, and I still love lifting weights. And so, but I had to pull back for, for my benefit. And so I want, I want to say like, sometimes you just have to pull back and you have to do what you have to do, and you have to prioritize your overall well-being other than like sticking and being like super stoic and just super like strict, basically, and limiting on your adaptability or your ability to change, right? And so, um, at every state we need to, we need to change. So I had to slow down. I had to start walking more, stop doing a lot of high-intensity exercising. I had to cut the caffeine because I was on— I didn't drink a lot of caffeine during that time, maybe, I don't know, 1 cup of coffee sometimes before I work out and sometimes not, you know. So, but I just stopped coffee altogether, um, just because I was trying to optimize my well-being at the time, you know. Like I said, I was running off of stress hormones. So let me just break this down for a minute because a lot of people don't understand that there are certain things that you do that make you run off of stress hormones. And stress hormones are there to conserve you, you know. Um, I'd rather be in abundance right now, like, I, I, as far as like energy, because stress hormones turn on to conserve energy, slow down metabolism, slow down thyroid, slow down, you know, the conversion of T4 to T3. Like, there's a slowing process that happens within your body when you are in conservation of energy mode. And it's good for you, you know, even, you know, with slowing down the metabolism to conserve your energy, to conserve what you have. And that's, that's, again, if you're in, like, say you're trying to survive. Like, you don't have access to food, you don't have access to the things that your body needs. Your body does that out of protection mode, right? And then there's abundance mode, where you have an abundance of energy. And I love to be in abundance mode, but a lot of people don't understand what it takes to get there. And a lot of people are scared to even, you know, switch to the advice that really gets you there. You know, it's slightly controversial, advice. However, you know, I'm not going to go into all of that and the different diets and the different ways that your body can get into abundance. Um, that's something that I'll definitely, you know, continue to talk about in some of the other episodes. But for right now, I'll just stick to this. You know, there's stress hormones of cortisol, you know, to help you. There is glucagon. That is a process where your body, um, gluconeogenesis, where your body turns proteins basically into sugar because your body needs it, right? Your body needs that sugar for energy, for fuel. And whether you feed your body that glucose, the sugar, the carbs, or whatever, or not, your body's still going to turn it into that because your body needs it. There's a demand for it at times. Like, for example, if I'm running, I'm doing high-intensity interval training or working out really hard, I'll notice my, my blood sugar levels go up. Even— it doesn't matter if I'm on a ketogenic diet or low-carb diet or whatever, you know. And I've been on those different type of eating regimens throughout my life. I've been on every kind, so I can tell you about all of them and the highs and lows of all of them. Um, so that's a process that, that happens, and that's considered, you know, like stress to the body. Um, epinephrine, you know, your adrenaline— a lot of people run by that. I noticed that a lot of people who don't get a lot of sleep at night, you know, other than the fact that of course they're going to dope themselves up with a bunch of caffeine, they'll go off of 3 hours of sleep you know, constantly for years and stuff and say they feel okay, or they got the energy or whatever. And I'm like, you're running off of adrenaline, probably because you're not getting enough proper sleep for your body to really be in abundance mode. Like, you're not getting enough sleep. It doesn't take a rocket scientist, doesn't take anybody who's a health expert to understand that if you don't get enough sleep, you're going to affect your body, right, and your brain. And so I have to help them to understand, like, you're probably running off of epinephrine, you're probably running off of extra adrenaline, but it's kind of like you're borrowing energy for tomorrow for today. And so at some point, this is going to accumulate and it's not going to be good for your body, and you're going to start to feel the effects of it because now your body doesn't have the ability to produce energy for other areas that it needs. Like, if you get sick or something could happen, you're, you know, the restoration of your tissues, or, you know, the detoxing of your body, or whatever, like even at the cellular level, cellular repair and all of these things., um, that your body needs energy for, you know, your hair could start falling out, your thyroid could start, you know, wind up, um, being compromised. You could wind up with an autoimmune disease, you know, like these stressors, because our body's running off of stress hormones, can cause a lot of problems that start happening. Anxiety, you know, um, just all of these things. And so when your body's running off of all of these stress hormones, it's just— it can be okay for, for, you know, a period of time. Our body is built to be able to do that, but it's not built to like live off that. And there's like a lot of people living off that. And, um, mind you, like, a lot of times your body will run off of these hormones too if you are fasting too much, because again, this is conservation mode. Your body is switching to this to handle what it is that you're doing. And, and I'm not saying anything's wrong with that in and of itself, but it could be something wrong with that if there is an overabundance of it and you are just not producing enough ATP, not enough energy for your body to maintain this state. And so of course I had to walk through a process where, you know, I had to de-stress, you know, and, um, and do all of the things that could take me back to a place of calm so that I can have enough energy because it— my body was breaking down, you know. And, and on top of that, like I said, I couldn't sleep at night. I'm manifesting like things with irregular heartbeats and heart patterns, you know. I'm getting pains in areas of my body that I shouldn't be getting, you know. It was just it. I, I just knew that this is not a way to live. Like, I knew, like, I just don't want to live like this. And when you're— when your brain is almost like stuck in that anxiety and that fight-or-flight system, it feels like it's real. That, that's the only thing I can tell you is like, if you feel like you're having a heart attack, it really, really feels like you are having a heart attack. And it takes a lot of effort to pull yourself out of that and say, hey, nope, I'm fine, I'm okay, you know, everything's okay. And, and it takes a lot for your body to switch to that place of, of calmness and where you can start activating, you know, the vagus nerve and, and triggering the, you know, strengthening your vagal tone. That's the body's ability to enter into rest, to enter into the parasympathetic system. And the reason why is because you've practiced all this time, like I have. I practice all this time hitting the switch for the sympathetic system, so it became like almost automatic and it was normal, right? And so there's a lot of you who may be experiencing this, and you have to listen to your body. I'm telling you, I don't care what it is that you're doing that you think is the right or wrong thing to do. You know, I've come to a place where I feel like health, um, is like— there are some standards, but it can look different for everybody depending on the season that you're in. Just like the weather looks different if you look outside, winter looks different from summer, summer looks different from, you know, fall. Like, there are different seasons in your life, and you have to open your eyes and really pay attention to where you are, how you're feeling, and be able to, like, do something about that. Because if you get stuck— when it comes to health, in the past I've been very black and white. Like, if I'm in something, I'm all in. But sometimes when you're, like, all in, you can't see other opportunities that are knocking at the door. And then sometimes when you're all in, you're so stubborn that even though you're all in and you're not producing the right results, you still won't change because you're so all in. And all in don't have to look like that. Being all into your health and your well-being can look like, hey, I'm taking things one day at a time, you know, I'm doing what works for this day, I'm recalibrating every day, you know, um, there's no such thing as balance, there's just such a thing as prioritizing. And every day I'm going to wake up, I'm going to prioritize what it is that gets my body well. Like, if, if today I need to rest, then I'm gonna rest. And I just need to walk and just move, and I don't need to do like a high-intensity workout or whatever because I didn't get enough sleep, or I'm dealing with, you know, issues with my kids, or, you know, I'm trying to buy a new house and that's super stressful, or like all of these other things that's happening in your life that's compounding. Like, and you decide, I need to rest today, you know. So It's not about balance, it's about priority. Like, today priority is resting, and tomorrow maybe priority is working hard, is, you know, pushing myself, or whatever that looks like. Your priorities will change every single day. And so you have to be very, very aware. And here's where we'll enter into a little bit more practicalities of this. When you're thinking about the different states that you can be in, there's really only two. Like, it could seem like there's a lot of different states that you can be in on an emotional level. I'm talking about emotional states, but there's really only two different states that you're gonna wind up activating, and you can only activate one at a time. And so you want to pay attention to the state that you're in. And the reason why I say this— please hear me when I say this— the state that you're in is going to dictate the decisions that you make, always. And if you're making poor decisions, you're going to get poor outcomes. Your life is just going to reflect the decisions that you're making. So you have to get a hold on the state that you're in, and you have to regulate it at every point. And I'm going to walk through that so you can understand exactly how to do that. So in the emotional state— and, um, I'm using kind of like the reference of two words that I've picked up on, and that is you have the state of powerful and then you have the state of primal. Now, if you are in a powerful state, then that sounds like abundance, right? That sounds like energy, right? That sounds like, um, being grateful, you know, calm, having peace, feeling joy, feeling bliss, you know, having compassion, having empathy, being able to connect. And even on a productivity level, you are probably, you know, um, experiencing high levels of intuition and inspiration and ideas. And, you know, you're just feeling good, right? And so you're in a powerful state, and this is an abundant state. This is a state of energy. But then there's another state, and that's the state where you are in need of energy. You're lacking energy, obviously, and that's the primal state. And so That is a state where you're going to experience, you know, the stress and the anxiety and feelings of overwhelm and, you know, maybe jealousy. And on a productivity level, you're experiencing, you know, procrastination and the hustle and bustle and, you know, comparison and self-sabotage and all of these different things that's causing you not to be as productive as you need to be. You're either going to be in one state or the other. You cannot be in the same state at once. You cannot be excited and angry at the same time, right? And so you're gonna go back and forth, and there's a way that you can analyze these states, and you have to remember, because your state is going to dictate what decisions you make in life. And I'm going to help you to understand what determines those states. Now, even right now, okay, you can only be in one state, right? And sometimes it's hard to know what state you're in, but you can even ask yourself right now, do you feel good? How do you feel? Are you overwhelmed? Do you feel down? Do you feel depressed? Do you feel anxious, nervous? Do you feel at a low place, you know, lacking energy? Or do you feel, you know, joy? Do you feel peace? Do you feel calm? Do you feel grateful? Right? All of these different emotions can help you to understand what state you're in if you just stop for a moment and ask yourself. Because there's a key to this in overcoming this, and it can feel like it's hard because most people don't know what's determining these states. Like, what is making me feel this way? What is making the state as it is, right? And so This is where I have learned again to make sure that I'm prioritizing energy because this very habit right now that I'm going to talk about and the ability to overcome it, and it's just a few steps. We're going to make sure that you know exactly what you need to do before this is, is over with. But you will know exactly what you need to do. To change the complete outcome of your life. I'm telling you, if you can learn how to do this, it's going to be such a game changer for your life in general, right? Um, so you have to know how you feel first of all. And let's, let's just walk— let's walk through first how to determine what state you're in, right? And so what determines your state? You're going to be shocked. First of all, it's your thinking, okay? That— now there's something else, and that's probably what you're going to be shocked at, but you're thinking. It's not your circumstance. Now that part you might actually be shocked about. It's not your circumstance because you may feel like if you lost a job, then that is the reason why you feel, you know, anxious or nervous or whatever. I lost my job. This is a real thing that I'm having to deal with, is that I lost my job. But it is not the circumstance or what you're experiencing that's causing your state. It is your interpretation of it. It's what that experience means for you. And so it's not, um, and, and it's, and it's hard for some people to understand this because there are some real facts that are happening in their life. If you lose your job, for example, that is a fact. That did happen, but that is not why you feel overwhelmed or anxiety or, you know, feel like you are depressed or, you know, down and out. That's not why. It's not because you lost your job. It's because the feelings and the thoughts that come behind you losing your job. So for example, how am I going to pay my bills? Am I going to find another job? What about my kids? I have so many, so many, uh, things that I have to do, you know. I have debt. I have to pay for my mortgage? Am I going to lose my house? It's those thoughts right there that actually determine that state. And if you can recognize that, then you're going to have the power to change things very, very dramatically. Very, very dramatically. As a matter of fact, when it comes to trauma, it is not about the experience that you had. The experience was in the past and it's over. And that is not to be insensitive at all. I'm telling you the truth, right? This is a fact. If you had something happen to you in 2010 and we're now in a new year way past that, then the experience is all the way in the past. The only thing that connects you from the past to now is the emotions that you attach to that experience that you had. Meaning there is an emotion that you have that is connected to what that experience meant for you. If your father wasn't in your life, what did that mean? I wasn't good enough. He didn't love me. You derive a lot of thoughts and beliefs that are connected to what has happened to you, and those thoughts and beliefs find themselves in the present. And then there are things that are done in life and decisions that's made that is based off of those limiting beliefs And what it does is it causes you to live in a cycle, which means that you continue to live in the past if you're connected to living off of those emotions that were tied to an event that happened a long time ago. That means your body can be in this year, but your mind and your state can be in the past. Arrested development. So you have to understand that the narrative has to be changed concerning whatever it is that happened as far as circumstantial. And you don't want to let your narrative of that experience cause you to be in an emotional state that will now cause you to make very horrible decisions, because then life is going to reflect back those decisions that you make. And you may think that you're making decisions and you're having feelings based off of life, but no, life is reflecting back those emotional capacities that you have at the current moment. The way you are, the way, the way you think, your belief systems, those limiting beliefs, the trauma, all of those different things are actually spearheading you into what life is reflecting back. Because you got to remember, when you look in the mirror, the mirror is not going to smile at you before you smile at it, right? So you gonna smile and the mirror is gonna smile back at you. Based off of what you do and what you choose and the decisions that you make. And that's where a lot of people lose it. That's why it's hard for people to experience better, because you got to understand the groundwork of this and the foundation of this, right? Is that you are not responding, you're initiating. And once you really get that you'll really understand. And don't, and don't say, no, um, I'm not— yeah, I'm responding, but, but this is really happening. Yeah, it's really happening, but it's not the cause of your state. It's not the cause of your depression. If you lose a relationship or something happened, that's not the cause of your depression. It is the meaning of that, what you took from it, what your interpretation was, what you determined about that. Okay, and I know a lot of people may want to fight me on this and say, you know, what about real bad things that happen to people? And I get it, and I'm not saying that, that you should not feel a certain way when really, um, bad devastating circumstances happen. Of course, like death or something. Like, I'm not saying that people shouldn't get sad or anything like that. What's not— I don't want to say it's not normal. What is— what will not give you the best outcomes are if you stay in a place beyond what you should, okay? If you stay in a state beyond what you should. So if you're dealing with grief, you don't want to deal with grief for like 10 years off the same thing. That's, that's not healthy, like, and, and your life is going to reflect that, that state. And so, but I'm not saying that you should not grieve. You should grieve well, right? But what you should do is also know the truth, and that's what I'm addressing here is truth. The truth is, is that the reason that you are grieving is because of not just the experience, but your interpretation and what that experience means for you. If you lose somebody that you really love, then what that means for you is that you're not going to see them anymore. The times that you used to share together are not going to be there. You know, there's a lot that, that comes from that. But what I want to say is that, let's say 2 people, um, they lose a, a parent, right? And one, one child wasn't close to the parent, they barely knew him, and the other child was very close. They both have the same experience happening, but one child is going to grieve more if— because they were connected tighter to that parent, whereas the other person won't. And so that just lets you know that the grief doesn't come from the actual circumstance. The grief comes from what that circumstance meant. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't grieve, I just want you to know where the grief is coming from, right? And so now that's, that's a situation, and I use that situation because it's a real situation, and that's probably an extreme question that somebody would ask. Yeah, well, what about that? You— are you saying we shouldn't grieve? No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that the truth is, is coming from the narrative and If we go throughout life creating these narratives for every single thing that happens, and our thought processes on them are extremely just negative— and when I say negative, I don't— I'm not talking about— I'm not talking about the grieving part right now. I'm talking about like, if we are talking about like situations that, that occur on a day-to-day level, like, you know, being told no for an opportunity or business endeavors, or, you know, relationship status, or just things that happen throughout your life. Because things are going to happen throughout your life, and you want to have enough capacity to where if you should feel an emotion that is not elevated, that is worth it, right? And so you have times where people are feeling these non-elevated, really low places for things that are not worth for people that they don't even know. And that's why social media becomes a huge thing, because a lot of people who do a lot of scrolling and, you know, they are, you know, upset or letting people get to them that they don't even know. Like somebody has a bad comment or somebody says something negative on social media, you don't even know them, right? And so what did that mean for you? Why are you so angry at what they said? It's not about what they said that makes you angry, it's what you took from it. And see, that is where we need to be healed, because sometimes what we're taking from things in our present day are usually things that's connected to trauma. I know this is somewhat a serious conversation and we got a little serious there, but I wanted to talk about real life instances. Like, what do we do about these things that are really the bad cases? But then again, let's revert and just say just the everyday stuff that's happening that's allowing people to constantly be at these low primal energy stages, and that does not make for a happy life. And if you want— this is for those who want a life that will encompass joy and peace and calm, and that has nothing to do with the storm. Think about it. Jesus was sleeping and snoring during the storm. He wasn't thinking twice about the storm. It wasn't about the storm, it was the meaning. What meaning did he have behind it? I'm fine. I'm gonna make it out. And, and that's, that's the idea that he had. And that's why he wasn't anxious or nervous or didn't have a problem. He went to sleep. How many people would go to sleep during a storm in the, in the boat in the middle of the water? Most people wouldn't. Why? Not because of the storm, but because of the fact of this storm, this storm means I might die. It's the meaning, it's the narrative behind it. And, um, and that is a foundation for the rest of your life, whether you need to have that feeling or not. And most of the time you don't need to. Like I said, reserve it for real times where you really need it. If you're going through a loss and you, you have to go, yes, absolutely. But guess what? There are people who are waking up feeling this way from day in to day out, all day. And that is going to drain your energy levels, right? If it's compounding and compounding, it's going to wind up giving you some mental health problems because now you— this, this— the meaning that you take from things, it is now aligning itself with your nervous system, right? And when it aligns yourself with the nervous system, it is going to resonate in a way that is going to deplete you from energy, and it's depleting you from the reality from which you should be living. Meaning, like, God never intended for you to live in a place of deficit, in a place of— in the low place. He didn't. He wants you victorious. He doesn't want you defeated. He doesn't— he didn't design you to live defeated. And so if you are living in that place, then you're living in a design that you weren't meant to live in. You're putting yourself in a place of being limited when you don't need to. And so your energy is going to be destroyed from that, and that's going to be a problem, right? All right, so one, understand that what determines this is your thinking. All right, and it's not the circumstance, but it's the meaning. And your thoughts are always going to reflect the meaning that you've placed behind the circumstance. And that's why I just say thoughts, because your thoughts are going to represent that, okay, either in a good direction or a bad direction. Number 2, and here's, here's where it gets really interesting. You must understand that not only is it your thinking that determines your state state. But you must know that what you are thinking when you are in that low state is a lie. I know I probably lost you there, right? Nope, it's a lie. I, I said that correctly. I didn't mistake that. That's not an error. We won't be editing that. It is a lie, okay? It's not the circumstance that's a lie. The circumstance is a fact. But the meaning that you take behind it that puts you in a low state, a primal state, is a lie. And I just explained why it's a lie, because you were never intended to live a defeated life. You were never intended to live a life of depression and anxiety and hopelessness and jealousy and, you know, uh, self-sabotage. You're not designed to live like that. So any thought that you have that creates a state that makes you live in that place is a lie because you're not designed to live there. Okay? Um, and so you have to understand that. And, um, you know, as I say, like, the energy that comes from the negative energy, the the pulling away of energy because of the stress that comes with that. That's a stressed state. That is a fight or flight state. That is not a rest and digest, a calm state. Anytime you live in a state like that, you will not overcome. You will not excel because in the state of powerfulness, you can make creative ideas and you can allow for yourself to come out of that situation. You have the intuition, you have the ideas, you have the momentum, you have the creativity to come out of that state. And so you must get yourself to a powerful state to even exit out of low places. And that is not easy, but it is doable. And the reason why it's doable is because it's all connected to your thoughts, right? And so honestly, there are 3 quick strategies that you can take to overcome and get yourself into more of a powerful state. And, um, and I'll go over those, uh, 3 things with you so that you can know exactly what you can do and so you don't have any excuse anymore. To not live a successful, fulfilled, delightful, calm, joyful, grateful, peaceful life, which you should be living. Because here's what I want to remind you of: you are a living miracle. The fact that you are breathing, that you are walking, that you are here, everything that you've overcome— if you just stop and just believe the truth for a moment, if you look back at everything you've been through in your life, it is a miracle that you're here. It's a miracle. And what you're gonna discover is that anytime you've ever had anxiety in the past or worry in the past, it was a waste of time because you're here. You've overcome, you've made it through. And even if you are not where you need to be, that's fine, because the truth is you've always had enough, you have enough right now, and you will always have enough. That is actually the truth. However, if you don't align your nervous system to believe that, and if you don't think that, then your life won't express those thoughts. They're going to express the reality of where your thoughts are aimed. It's going to reflect back to you. But I'm telling you, if you could take that approach, you will start to see that the mirror is going to smile back at you when you smile at When you think those type of thoughts, they're going to reflect back in life and people. And I know that's hard to believe because some of you may say, okay, well, people are, you know, people are people. Yeah, they are. But I guarantee you there are some people who treat people differently because of how they are. Their identity makes them treat them a certain way. It's a tool, trust me. Even with your kids, you may sometimes think that it's just them, and you know what, sometimes it is, you know what I mean? Like, there's, there's some variables you can't control, but a lot of times also kids reflect back the seed that was put in them, the environment that they're in, you know. If you are a parent and your kid grows up in an environment of anger and abuse and you know, narcissistic behavior and all of these other things, that's going to affect them. The trauma is going to affect them, and now they got their trauma to deal with in life. Now you already dealing with your trauma, right? So imagine them having to deal with theirs. Now think back, all of the traumatic situations happen when we're young. It's the environment, the culture that we were raised in. It's the belief systems that were planted in us, that were seeded in us. We, we were seeded into by leaders, by uh, parents and siblings and, you know, teachers and Sunday school teachers and pastors and politicians and media. Like, all of the reasons why we believe a lot of the stuff we believe is because of that. So think for a moment how much— if you can grab a hold of this, you can change the outcome of even other people's lives that who are surrounding themselves with you, your friends, your loved ones, your kids, your spouse. Your parents, you know, those who you serve. If you have a business, your clients. This is a game changer, I'm telling you. This is the one thing that has revolutionized my entire life, right? It's okay. 3 things, right? 3 things that you can do. Number 1, notice it. That's it. Notice. Notice what state you're in. Ask yourself, how do I feel right now? Am I low? Am I high? And what scale am I on? Like, like I mentioned before, there's different scales that you can be on, but notice it and start noticing it more because the awareness is really, really going to help you, um, to empower you. All right, this isn't to judge yourself. Don't judge yourself, right? This is to empower you. And then number 2, recognize it's not true. You know what I love about that is that You don't have to know, like, exactly what's true or not. Like, you don't have to try to figure it out. Like, what exact— it doesn't matter. Whatever you're thinking, if it's putting you in that primal low state, that anxiety state, that state of depression— just imagine, like, thoughts that are leading to depression. Whatever those thoughts are, they're a lie. You don't have to assess. You don't have to figure it out. Just know they are a lie. Know that they are not the truth. Because the truth is, you got a lot to be grateful for. And whatever you focus on is going to swell. It's going to enlarge itself. If you can take a moment to reroute your thoughts from the thoughts that are leading to depression or to anxiety or to a place of, you know, overwhelm or hopelessness or sadness or, you know, all of those negative emotions um, or even like the thoughts that are making you procrastinate, like, oh, what if I don't do it? What if I'm, you know, fail? You know, the fear of failure. You know, I don't know how to handle this. You know, the self-sabotaging thoughts. Even the hustle, the anxiety that come from the hustle. Even the binging, because a lot of people binge. They binge on their eating and stuff because of anxiety. I'm, I'm anxious, you know. Um, you got some people who are anxious and they binge because they, you know, are afraid of something. A lot of times the restrictions and the limitations of eating come from anxiety. I don't want to get big. Like, think about all of those thoughts that lead you to that. There's a lot of people who binge because they don't want to get— they're like, what if I gain? I don't want to gain weight. And so they restrict their calories and run off of stress hormones, uh, too much, and then it just gets them deeper and deeper into a hole. That's not the life that you're supposed to live. You just need to know that. And there is a lot of reasons why you should be grateful. And if you take a moment and you just deroute and just go to a different area of focus, focus on the things that you can control, not the things you can't control. Because if you're focusing on the things you can't control, those things that you can't control is going to spiral out of control and you're not going to be able to control it even more. It is the manifestation of where you're putting your focus towards, your attention towards, right? And so you reroute that, you move them in a different direction, and you know, hey, this is not true. This is not true. Even the things that you may feel like you can control, a lot of that is not true. Like, I can't control how much money I make because the boss did this and this person did that and that person did this. And that means nothing for your future, for your life. You're, you're, you're designed to win. You're designed to overcome. You're designed to be the head and not the tail. You're designed to be prosperous. You are designed to live on top of the mountains, not deep low in the valley somewhere at the lowest pit. You're not designed for that, right? Um, and so recognize that it's not true. And then, uh, the third thing is, is very simple: change your state in the moment. Reroute your thoughts. See, the changing of your state has to be done because we're on and off. Like, and let me just say this, I, I get in low states too, right? Um, so I think we all do. So, but it's, it's recognizing it, and the more you can recognize it and change it, because we're moving in and out of states all day long sometimes, or all week long, all month long, all year long, okay? We're moving in and out of different, different states. And so You have to start recognizing exactly what state you're in and take the wheel back and start putting yourself in the powerful state more. And I promise you, life will look different. Give yourself even a month of this. Life will look different. It will feel different, right? I'm not saying that you're going to just make it over the hump overnight, but I'm telling you, you're going to feel different because your thoughts will create different emotions for you and different feelings for you., and then those feelings will create a different state, and then you'll start making different decisions. You're going to make decisions that represent that, that powerful state because you're creative in that state. You have the ability to create, to find solutions. You cannot find solutions in stress and anxiety. That is why people drown when they get anxious. They have to calm down. Swim so that they, they can think clearly, right? Even people who can swim, if they get in a state of anxiety in the pool, they will drown. You cannot make the right decisions when you panic, all right? And so, um, I want you to consider that because you have to make choices in the moment to switch that state. Into the state that you desire so that you can produce. Okay, so, um, you must know that the determination of your state is what you think. And then you must know that if it is producing a low state, if it is producing a stressful, anxious state, then whatever you're thinking is a lie. And then not the circumstance, but whatever you take from that circumstance, whatever you're thinking, what the thoughts that are running through your mind as it pertains to that circumstance or that experience. And then you must know that you have the ability to change your state by changing your thoughts in that moment. And you have to do it in real time. There's no other way. And these are 3 things that I did to break patterns. Because remember, the cycle has to be broken. And really, it's a cycle of being you. Because you are what you think, right? And so if you have these thoughts, these ruminating thoughts that are not producing anything but negative effects in your body and in your mind, and the outcome of your life is reflecting that, then this is really about breaking the pattern and the cycle of being you. And this does require energy, and it does require for you to have the ability to produce energy even in your body. And that's why— and I'm not going to talk about this, I'll talk about this at a later date— but that's why even my, my diet, what I eat— I don't want to say my diet in a sense that I'm on diet, but the way I eat now is geared towards energy abundance. I don't, I don't care what someone thinks is healthy or not or whatever. Like, energy is going to dictate what that looks like, because the moment somebody gets sick, they start to deplete energy. And so a high energy state is a state of well-being. The more your body can produce ATP the more healthier you'll be. Because what it means is that your mitochondria is healthy, which means your engine is healthy and it's efficient and it's producing what it needs to produce. And if you have high energy states like a child, then it's not going to be much that bothers you, right? Like, children have crazy amounts of energy and then they can sleep like a baby. And that's really where you want to be. And so, like I said, I won't talk about the diet part, but You know, I just want you to know that this is about awareness, and I wanted to bring awareness to this because a lot of people are living like this, and I wanted to kind of break it down so that you can understand. And I hope you didn't take any offense to this if you are experiencing any levels of grief or any, um, sad circumstances in life, because life can be devastating, and I never said that it, it, it's not. And I am very highly compassionate and empathetic to those who are going through very frustrating circumstances. But I also love very deeply, and I tend to add value and to want people to have better outcomes. And so I often aim to address truth. And because if we can address truth, and we can bring awareness, then you can feel more empowered. And so my purpose is to always empower you. And so I don't want you to feel like I stepped on any toes if you are experiencing this, if you are experiencing any of the examples that we went over. But I do want to say that I'm here to empower you, I'm here to serve you, and I know what it means to have loss. I know what it means to have devastation. I know what it means to go through a trial and to be at a low place and to have lack and to, you know, um, feel depressed. I've experienced that in my life also, and I know what it feels like to be anxious and, um, you know, to feel overwhelmed. I know all of these low states. I'm sure we all have experienced them. But I just wanted to share how I've gotten over some of the rough places of my life and hope that you'll take the information and that you'll utilize it. And what I want to leave you with is just that I want to empower you to be able to perceive better, to see, to, um, to hear, to understand, to be aware. If you perceive better, then you have the ability to change, to make the changes that's needed. If you can't perceive it, then your perspective will be off in the way you even view life. The, the, the groundwork and the blueprint by which you view life will be heavily affected. And I want you to know, the problem is not the problem, you know, all the time. The problem is perception. And if you change this, I promise you, your life will be better. It will never be the same. You are definitely an overcomer, and I want to empower you towards that truth today. I hope that empowered you today, and I want to ask that if this has been valuable, please like this video and share it with someone who may be going through, um, some things to empower them. And also subscribe to my page. I would appreciate that. I will continue to just get information out that will help to improve your life, your mental health, and your overall well-being. Make sure you put in the comments also, uh, anything that you desire that I talk about and share. I'm here to serve you and try to get information out to you that can really revolutionize your life. All right, this has been another episode of Health Coach, and I'll see you next time.
