12 Times A Cheater, Always A Cheater? | KARAMO

Your boyfriend cheated on you 12 times?

Yeah, that's what I know of. It could be more, but from what I've seen, yeah.

How did you find out the first time that he cheated on you?

Well, the first time I found out, he had a little group chat with his boys, you know? He sends them a video and it's a girl sitting on his lap just chilling.

What hurt you the most? Was it the cheating? Was it the lying? What was it that hurt you?

Well, what hurt me the most was I was actually pregnant at that time. I was 2 to 3 months pregnant and From what I thought, I thought we were good, you know? And so I felt like it was unwarranted and it was for like no reason.

Yeah, got it. Okay. And I understand that you both experienced a loss soon after that. What happened?

Well, we were, that very same baby, like I was 7 months into the pregnancy and she just stopped breathing inside of me. And they said it was due to hypertension and my stress levels had taken a toll on the baby, so.

Got it. Got it. I'm very, very sorry. So when he found out that you lost, both of you lost your child because of the stress, did his behavior change?

No, it actually progressively got worse after that. Like in my opinion, I feel as sad as I was, he didn't feel that same sadness for our baby. And it's like it went downhill from there.

Got it.

Was he supportive during that difficult time?

I could say somewhat. He was in the hospital, you know, you know how somebody's there but they're not there?

Yes.

I was crying. He didn't know how to comfort me, but I understand if you've never dealt with something like that. But he just seemed like he was out of it while he was there.

Okay. And how long have you been together?

7 years.

7 years. And do you two have any kids together?

Yeah, 2 girls, 1 boy.

2 girls. Yeah. Okay. Is there an age gap between you two?

Yeah, we're about 5 years apart.

You're older?

I'm older.

Got it, he's younger.

Mm-hmm.

When was the most recent time that you learned that Marco cheated on you?

I would say the most recent I know of is like June-ish, in that area.

Mm-hmm, June of this year?

Oh yeah.

And what happened in June?

Well, basically in June, I saw he was like constantly searching this one girl into his Facebook. And I'm just like, who is this girl? He keeps searching her page, you know? And so I take it upon myself to get the girl's information and I message her like, hey, how you know my man? You know? And she's like, I don't even know who that is. So I had to physically send her a picture. She's like, oh, he told me his name was this. You know? And so after that, I just, you know, had communications with her back and forth and she was giving me the down low on everything they had going on.

Do you see a future with him?

I mean, I do. I would like to see one, but only if he willing to make the necessary changes.

And what are those changes?

I need like full disclosure on everything, anything. I want him to run everything by me so he can know what I disapprove of, what I approve of. I basically want him to change, do a whole 360, 'cause everything he doing right now is wrong. So I want him to change.

But the first one I'm a little confused by. So you want him to give you, tell you everything he's doing so that you can approve or disapprove?

Well, it's just that it's some stuff stuff that he doesn't consider cheating. And I'm gonna let you know if it's cheating.

We came across this post on your Facebook and I wanted to ask you about what made you post this. You said, "You like my baby daddy, he turn you on, wait till he crack you, want his family back, leave your ass alone." Okay. So you sent that, put that out there?

I did.

Okay.

'Cause I know he be looking.

Okay.

Yep.

Hmm. So our unlock the phone investigator was available before the show and we wanted to unlock his phone, but you were the one who said you don't want us to unlock his phone. Why?

Being that I think he doing a little bit better, I don't wanna tarnish that like by looking at his phone and getting re-pissed off about either old stuff or new stuff that he might have in the phone.

So you wanna avoid it because you're scared you're gonna get hurt?

Mm-hmm.

Okay. Well everyone, I think I'm ready to meet Marco. Please welcome Marco to the show. She said you cheated 12 times.

I ain't trying to lie, but.

But you did.

Yeah. Yeah. And as far as like the washing up every Thursday, I mean, evidently you see what I got on. I mean, that's what she, that's what attracted her to me. You feel me? I look good. You know what I'm saying? Make sure I smell good. So why wash up?

I love how you skirted right past me talking about you cheating 12 times. So we gonna go back. So why did you cheat 12 times?

I don't know. I guess I see something I like, you know? My girl's all right, you know what I'm saying? I ain't gonna say she all right. She like a— she wouldn't be my girlfriend if—

He say I'm all right, but I seen what he was dealing with and they ain't even cutting it close. So he's talking about I'm all right.

And you two have two children together, right?

Correct.

How do you feel you are as a father?

I'm a great father. I didn't grow up with a mother and a father. That probably what it is, you know?

Do you teach your daughters it's okay to be cheated on?

No, 'cause they too young, but they probably see what I do, which isn't right, so.

So if your daughters got cheated on, would you be okay with them staying with the man?

I mean, I wouldn't be all right, but it's they life. But you know, I'm definitely gonna tell 'em what's right from wrong.

I know that you're lying about that.

Feel like man feels.

If your daughter was sitting on this stage, with a man, says she cheated on her, and you were standing in my audience right there, I know for a fact you'd be telling her to leave that man.

I feel that too.

You wouldn't just say, well, it's your life, live your life. And I know you don't wanna give that truthful answer right now because to give that truthful answer, you'd have to reflect on your own relationship. And so by looking at what the future is going to hold, it means you have to look at like really how you acted now and you don't wanna do that yet. But you know for a fact in your heart of hearts, if your daughter was being cheated on by a man 12 times, you know you would take her to the side and say, "Nah, nah, girl, this is not it." And I know you didn't have a father in your life, but just as a human being and as a man, you know you'd take your daughter to the side and say it's not worth it. I'm gonna ask you a second question. Would you want one of your daughters to be with somebody who described them as all right?

Oh, definitely not.

Mm-mm.

Okay. Definitely not, girl. I don't know, I guess I said the wrong word, but. Yeah.

What I'm establishing here is that you do know right from wrong. Correct. You do know that you shouldn't be cheating. You do know because you wouldn't want your daughter to be cheated on and you do know that you wouldn't want your daughter to be with a man who called her all right. Whether it was the right word or wrong word in the moment, you wouldn't want it.

No.

So you do know that it's not good behavior.

Yes, I do.

But you're okay with doing it to your daughter's mothers.

No, I'm not okay with it. I don't know, I just—

Well, rephrase. You are, 'cause one time I might believe you're not okay with it. 12 times, you are okay with it.

I think he—

No?

I don't know, I feel like it's a maturity thing. I don't know, I feel like I'm more mature now than when I was, 'cause she met me, I was like 18, 19. She was 5 years older than me.

Yeah, yeah.

But he really not though, because I—

There's a difference between maturity and right or wrong. Would you stay with her if she cheated on you 12 times?

It wouldn't even be one time.

Mm.

I don't know, my standards are higher.

Your standards are higher?

Yes.

Okay.

And that's a deal breaker for me.

Well, your standards is higher, but you want me to accept whatever you dishing out?

So what happened last February?

She went through my phone and seen a girl text me. I believe I cracked her phone for something she found on me.

You cracked her phone?

Yeah.

'Cause she found something on you?

Yeah.

So what happened, you did a public apology as well to Jocelyn on Facebook? I'm ultimately a good person, but I act off emotion. I owe my mother's kids an apology. I hope in your heart you find a place to forgive, sometimes up the road. So he sent that apology to you publicly?

Yeah.

Okay, and how did that make you feel?

Well, I knew it was just temporary. I can't say I accepted it. I feel he was doing it to save face. He might've been sorry, but I think he did that for show.

It definitely wasn't for show. Everything I do is for me.

No, he said he did it for him.

You just heard him.

He said, "Everything I do is for me." Well, you told my producer that you're ready to change. What do you mean by that?

I wanna be a better boyfriend.

Can you be committed to Jocelyn the way she wants?

I don't know, maybe, 'cause like I'm a go-getter. Maybe if she was more of a go-getter like me, I would be attracted to her more mentally than physically.

What are you going and getting besides sex?

Uh. That's about it.

Well, it looks like we got a ping. My producer's telling me that you met with DeMarco before the show and that you had something that you wanted Jocelyn to see.

Jocelyn, I have a confession to make. Back in August, I had this longtime friend, we rode around downtown, we had a couple of drinks, then you know, we went to a hotel room, we had sexual intercourse. Jocelyn, you always tell me if I tell you the truth, we could turn a new leaf. So hopefully you forgive me this one last time.

No, Rodney. So that makes 13?

Yes.

Okay. And this was in August you slept with this woman? Mm-hmm. Jocelyn, do you know about this woman in August?

No.

Okay. Marco, what you gotta say about that confession?

I don't think he care.

I do care, I do care. I actually do care. I don't know, it's just, I guess like I said, it's the maturity.

Marco, I'm exhausted by you. Can you leave my stage? I've been exhausted the entire time. Sister, we gotta talk. I've been exhausted by this. I don't know if you can catch my body language. I've been exhausted by this entire time. You got this little boy up here playing you and you falling into this because your self-esteem is low. We gotta get to the core of why your self-esteem is low. You got this little boy on my stage telling you that he got higher standards, that he's not mentally or emotionally attracted to you because you don't got no drive. Just telling you again blatantly that he's had a 13th woman. Telling you he know damn well that he would not want his children, your children, to be talked to this way, but he feels like it's okay to talk to you that way. We gotta do some soul searching here, and it ain't got to do with Marco. It got everything to do with you. [APPLAUSE] Like, what is going on? You are a beautiful woman. You clearly are running your household. You are clearly doing things. What has happened in your past or what is going on now that makes you feel like you need to put up with this type of behavior?

To be honest, I have struggled with—

It's okay, talk to me. I'm sorry. It's okay.

With insecurities about my skin tone.

Okay.

And my weight, everything like that. And I just got to a place where I thought I was good with that, you know? And then he comes out here and he tells me, you know, he likes this. So I feel I could never be that for him. I've been talking about like getting surgeries and stuff so I can be like, so I can be what he want, you know? And I think it comes back from childhood, to be honest.

Yeah, okay. This is real. You've lost sight of yourself. And like you said, it could have been from childhood, it could have been before, it could be from now. But what I will tell you is happening right now is that he knows that you lost sight of yourself. He knows it. And he knows that he can manipulate that fact into getting what he wants so that he can have a good time. And he knows you're gonna stay around. And the issue for me is that unfortunately, Unfortunately, you're never gonna be able to see yourself clearly in the mirror and build yourself back up when you have this man blocking your reflection. And what breaks my heart is that you have two daughters. So right now this is not an easy split. And that's the sad part because it'd be easy for me to be like, well, just leave him, girl, build yourself back up. But we know that's not reality. Reality is that that you do have ties with him. And that's the reason why he, even outta your own mouth, you said that every time he says, "Let's be a family," it sucks you back in and you know it. So this is not about some young man who didn't grow up in a household with a father who didn't teach him how to be a man because there's been those situations. He knows what he's doing. He's aware that he's disrespecting you. He's aware that he can get away with it. You said you break up what? 3 times a month. What's making you go back? The family?

Yeah. I just wanted to give myself ample time to situate myself, 'cause right now we are in the same unit, we living in the same space. So I wanted to get outta that space and then be able to work on myself.

So you're telling me because of the fact that you live with him in that apartment building.

Yeah.

Can you afford rent on your own?

I can, yeah.

Okay then. And the thing is that he's never going to be the man that you need him to. He's not. At best you could ask for now is for him to be the father that you need him to be to those girls. That's the best you can ask. He's never going to be the man that you need him to be. And it's not because of age, it's not because he's immature, because again, I've shown you he knows the difference between right and wrong and he knows he's doing wrong and he's okay with it. That's not about maturity. That's not about I didn't have a daddy. That's about I'm going to manipulate and treat this woman this way because she allows me to. So this is what I want you to do for me. When you leave this stage today, I want you to write down first of all what you're worth. And then I want you to make the decision if you really get out that apartment. But these have to be decisions that you're clear on. Because if you stay with this man, he's going to continue to beat you down to the place you wake up and you're gonna be like, I don't even recognize myself at all. And I'm gonna say this last thing to you. Those little girls are watching you. And this is a critical, critical age. They looking to see how mom is gonna handle these men. How mom is gonna handle their father. And if you let them see that mom is okay with daddy disrespecting mom, what you think's gonna happen to them?

I'm gonna be honest. I'll probably, you know, tell her to leave him.

I know.

Yeah.

So you gotta model that.

Okay.

All right? I'm sorry for letting you go through that. All right? Come here, give me a hug. Want more unlocked phones, DNA reveals, and family drama? Then make sure you're subscribed to the Karamo Show YouTube.