13 Years Together And You Need Anger Management!| KARAMO

So why do you think she is cheating?

Because she's just mean.

Ooh, okay.

You know when somebody change the way that they are with you?

Behavior change. How long has that behavior change been?

Almost a year.

A year, okay then. Did she leave you once for another woman?

Yes.

She did? When? And tell me what happened.

We had just moved in together. Well, she moved from Chicago to be with me in Mount Vernon. And I didn't know, like her mood changed, the way she treated me changed. And she went from bringing flowers and being nice and everything to nothing, to being mean, to being irritated everything I said or just my presence was like annoying to her.

Yeah.

So her sister actually told me about it.

Not the sister?

Yeah.

Oh wow, okay, well sometimes that's all the confirmation you need. Like, does she have a good relationship with her sister?

Yes.

And she, so okay, so this is not So this isn't like a sister that she doesn't talk to. This is somebody that she—

No, they like this.

They're close. So what did you find on her Facebook?

Her talking to other people and her saying a lot of mean stuff.

Okay, like what did she say?

She basically wanna be back in Chicago or she don't wanna be there.

So how long have you two been together?

Off and on for about 13 years now.

13 years, wow. This is why like a year of dramatic behavior change is shocking to you because this is just, this is not what you experienced all this time.

Never.

Does Erica call you names?

We call each other names.

That wasn't my question. I asked you, did she call you names? Yeah. What does she call you?

Not really names. It's more so like, oh, you don't do nothing. You lazy. And lazy, but I work. I just, you know, every 2 weeks I work over 119 hours, 120 hours.

Wow. And she calls you lazy?

Mm-hmm.

Interesting. What else does she call you?

You know, B-words and—

You told my, my producers told me right before I walked out that there's been times that she's called you a fat B-word?

Not to my face.

Not to your face?

Yeah.

So there's something that she posted on social media before you came on the show that I need to see. Jasmine, you posted this. "I might come home from New York single, 100." So you posted this?

Yeah.

Okay, and what did you mean by this?

We was arguing about coming here.

Mm-hmm.

And I felt like if we not gonna take heed of the help that we getting here, then what's the point of going back home to do the same thing?

Got it. This reads to me as someone who's fed up. Are you fed up?

Yes, I'm tired.

You're tired. 13 years. So we're also unlocking her phone, right?

Yes.

Yeah. And so you told my unlock the phone investigators you want to know 3 things. If Erica was calling women when you're at work, if Erica's texting with other women, and if Erica is on social media with any other women.

Yes.

Well, all right, well I think it's time to meet your fiancée. I'm actually gonna go backstage to Erica to speak to her. So we'll be right back. Hold on.

Okay, she works. I understand that. But she uses her job as to why she can't maintain the house.

But with you not having any financial support, you understand why she's probably working those hours, right?

Yes, I do.

Okay.

Our living standards is not the same.

Okay.

I'm a very clean person.

So you feel like she's dirty?

I'm not saying she's dirty. She's just not organized.

She's not organized.

No.

And that annoys you?

Very much.

Okay. So what about the toxic name calling?

We call each other names. I mean, I have an anger problem.

Okay.

And half the anger comes from her. She tryna go against me and I don't like that. You love her? Yes, I love her. If I didn't love her, I wouldn't be with her.

Are you in love with her?

Yes. I proposed to her.

You proposed? Oh wow, okay then. Are you cheating?

I'm not cheating on that woman.

Okay.

I feel like she's cheating too.

Oh, you think she's cheating?

Well, I feel like she's trying to mess around with this one person.

Got it.

Like you think I'm cheating.

So you think all this is a ploy to get you all to break up so she can be with that one person?

That's how I think of it.

Got it. So I really came back here because my producers had told me that you feel like your side can never be heard. And so I wanted to make sure before I brought you out to stage that I could hear your side clearly. There's no rebuttals, but I think it's time to head to stage. You ready? Come on. She said you cheating. Is there someone that you're in a relationship with or trying to talk to?

No.

Okay, then why would she assume that you're cheating as well?

I've never cheated ever.

In your entire relationship?

Never.

Okay.

So what was that on my birthday that night?

How was that cheating, Erica?

What did she do?

The night of my birthday, we went out, boom, she all in the other female face. She don't think I see this. So I kept dragging her out the car, kept dragging her out the car. See what I'm saying? She don't listen. She just, I'm like, okay, what's going on? Ooh. We get back to the house next morning, I grab her phone, I go through it. The girl text like, oh, I thought you weren't with that bitch. Ooh, what?

We in a car together, we all in the backseat. It's me, it's the girl, and it's her. I'm in her face because we having a conversation. Mind you, it was literally a regular conversation and she's right there, like this is right, she's this far from me.

Listen, you know how a person look at your ass intimacy, right? You know if your woman looking at, you know how a woman look at you. I know how the way she looks at me when she like wanna do something. She looks, I'm watching her look at this girl.

I like that.

But she thinks I was just delusional or seeing whatever.

So I wanna go back a little bit because you said when you started telling this story, you said, "See, this is how I can tell she don't ever let me get my point out." But she hadn't said anything yet.

She was fit to.

But you cut her off because even in the dialogue, 'cause I'm just trying to be, hold on, we have a ping really quickly. So we're getting a ping right now from Jasmine's mother, Angie. So what is, let me hear what this has to say.

Hi, I'm Angie, Jasmine's mom. I just wanted to say that I don't want Erica to think I don't like her or I don't want them to be together, but their relationship is so toxic. Erica really needs anger management. And if they want to be together, like I told them, they need a lot of counseling. I love the both of them and I hope they get it together.

So you don't agree with what she said? I don't. That you don't believe you need anger management?

I said I needed therapy. I don't need anger management. I know my anger. I can control my anger.

Okay. Well, if we replay the tape, I just was backstage with you and I actually wrote down here when we're talking about the cleaning, you said, "I get extremely angry." Those were your words.

Who wouldn't? We got a dog and the house be messed up.

Well, I'm saying this is in relation to her saying that you need anger management. You say you don't when you're telling me that you get extremely angry.

But I know how to control my anger. I don't need anger management for me to, I don't need that.

Okay, do you put your hands on each other?

No.

Not anymore, no.

Not anymore?

No.

Okay, when was the last time y'all did that?

About a year ago, we had a fight and we broke up and we said if we get back together, we not fighting no more. And we never fought since.

Okay, but a year ago?

Yeah, when the situation happened for her birthday.

Oh, so that was where it started?

Yeah.

Okay then. Okay, well look, I think it's time that we unlock your phone, Erica, since that's what we're here for, to see if you cheated. Just to remind everybody. Just to remind everybody, you told my Lock the Phone investigators that you wanted to see if Erica's calling other women when you're working, if she's texting other women, and if Erica has been on social media with other women.

But what's the point of checking that? She could've checked it way before we got here. I don't even have access to your phone. I've been told her that. You don't?

I asked you for your password and you said you don't know it.

How the fuck I don't know my password?

You said, oh, I can type it in, but I can't tell you. Like, I can't say it.

I mean, even in that interaction, there was so much telling to me that I had to pick up the card. I had to drop the unlock the phone envelope to pick up my other card and start taking notes on how y'all interact with each other. But let's get to this.

I bet not find nothing in that phone, I know that.

Well, nothing's been found because Erica refused to unlock her phone.

Oh!

Okay.

Of course, like always.

Why didn't you wanna unlock your phone? And you smiling.

'Cause for what? I gave her the permission to go through what we had.

If she got the permission to go through it and it's nothing, Why did I let y'all check it?

This the thing, she wanna look back on that relationship that we went through. She wanna look back on them messages and see what was said. Why do you wanna relive that?

'Cause I'm not over it. And you can't tell me—

So you gonna go back and relive it and get re-hurt over again. That don't make sense.

You can't tell me how to get over something that you did to me.

Do you feel like you've given her the clarity she needs from that situation?

Yes, I'm not cheating on her.

Okay, but the situation that is causing her the pain, do you feel like you've given her the clarity she needs?

No.

So then why don't you give her the clarity so that y'all can move on?

What clarity do she want?

Let me ask y'all again, do y'all think this relationship has run its course?

No.

I feel like if Erica don't get better with her communication and the way she treat me, yeah.

Well, I mean, you came on this show to get better and I'm watching the communication not be any better and I'm watching the way that you all talk to each other not being any better either. I mean, that for me is signs of like when I can't even have a conversation within 2 minutes and you gotta cuss at me this way.

Well, I'm not gonna make excuses. I'm a cursy person. Like she knew the way I talk before she got with me.

I understand, but that is— I'm not gonna change the way I talk Well, see that statement right there in relationships, and let me use you as an example for anybody at home. When someone says, well, you knew what I was before and you can't expect me to change, that's somebody who's not ready to keep growing in a relationship.

No, I'm with you.

And when someone doesn't wanna grow in a relationship, then that relationship has halted. You just said outta your own mouth, she knew that I cussed when I was young. She knew when I cussed when I got together. And so why can't she accept that? No, you should be able to say like, if my cussing and the way we communicate is affecting our relationship, then I have to find a new way to communicate.

No?

I'm an outside stranger and I should never, and this is just the truth, I appreciate you coming on here and being vulnerable enough to share your side of the story. And I literally wanted to make sure that I could hear your side without any interruptions. That's why I went backstage. It was for you so that you can know that like somebody here wants to hear you. But what I'm seeing displayed here is a very unhealthy relationship. And a lot of it has become from your behavior. She's asked you several times, why are you not communicating? And you said, well, why aren't you communicating? She asks you, why are you doing these things? And you've then thrown it back on her and said, well, listen, you get on Facebook, you talk to people. You're still not sharing your feelings.

Exactly. And can I say something?

No. Yes.

Yeah, you right.

Okay.

Can I say something? As far as her saying like, oh, I don't clean up and I'm unorganized or whatever, I do everything else. Let me tell you, me and her have an argument because she feel like, oh, well, you don't clean up the house. She tells me out her own mouth, what type of woman are you? What type of woman don't clean up their house? I will work 19 hours. I will come home for 4 hours to get some sleep and go back to work for 16 hours. I pay the bills, I cook for us, I do every, I work all day, every day. I work 6 to 7 days a week. I don't barely get a break. Yes, Erica. How many times have you been to the hospital?

I don't understand what y'all holding onto. I'm gonna say, I hear both of y'all side. I don't understand what y'all are holding onto. I think that this is two people who got together 13 years ago and y'all are in a different place. And I think that the relationship was fun, it was exciting. It was probably unhealthy back then too, but y'all were young, so you just went along with it.

With it.

And I think that each time you break up, you know in your heart that maybe we've grown apart, but because you're afraid to see what else is out there or afraid to let go of what feels so familiar, you're not moving on. And so what we have here is now you've moved all the way across country to be with her and you're not happy. And the sooner you admit you're unhappy, the sooner y'all two can have a real conversation about the fact that y'all don't need to be together. The fact is you're unhappy. She's unhappy. And when a relationship starts to break you down, it's time to break up. And that's just the truth of it. No, that's not a roommate?

Yeah, it is.

That's a roommate. Wouldn't you like, Erica, for a woman to roll over and say, "Hey baby, you are beautiful," touch you, make you feel nice?

I ain't got no, I don't get that.

You wouldn't like that? You wouldn't want that? Yeah. I know you want it.

I give it to her all the time.

And I know you want that too. You want somebody to roll over and say, baby, you look beautiful, get in the house and be happy to see you.

Yes.

That's why I said y'all not nothing. So what I'm gonna pray for y'all is that y'all find the courage to go find your happiness. That is my ask for y'all. Go find your happiness 'cause you're still young enough to do it. And the only way you're gonna find your happiness until one of you get the courage to break up and end this relationship. 'Cause I promise you, once you do this breakup, you'll have your breakthrough. Promise you that. So I wish y'all the best of luck. That's all the advice I have for y'all. I wish y'all the best of luck, all right? Good luck. All right, friends, stay with us. We'll be right back with more.

Mm-hmm.