5 Most TOXIC Moments from Season 1 | KARAMO

You need to bring it down a few notches and realize that you are the daughter. You my daughter. You ain't my daughter. I don't want to be your daughter because I would've raised you better than she did.

Keani is tired of being fat shamed and called out of his name by his grandmother Sharon. Keani says his relationship with his grandmother Sharon is so bad It was so toxic they even had a fight in the street. I know, that's crazy. But everyone, please welcome Kiani to the show. Hi, Kiani. I'm gonna give you a hug. How are you doing?

Good.

Good to meet you. Take a seat. So Kiani, that's a lot to hear that you're fighting with your grandmother in the streets. I'm new school in the sense of like, I understand like you gotta be respected in toxic relationships, but I'm old school in the sense like you don't fight your grandma. Okay, so what was going on?

So it was like right after my graduation. It was a really hard time for me because I was all on my own. When I needed my grandmother the most, I just felt like she wasn't there for me at all. So the fight happened because She had gifted me $100 for my graduation. Later that night, she took the $100 back because she left her wallet at home. She needed to pay for dinner. So I gave her the money. I gave it back to her. I didn't say anything, just gave it back to her. Then like a week later, I was supposed to give her some money. I was supposed to give her $100. And then I'm looking at my money, I'm like, wait, she still owes me the $50 from that. So I just went, I just went to her, like to go talk to her to see like if she was gonna give it back. At the end of the day, she was supposed to give me the money back. Then the whole situation just turned into something it wasn't supposed to be. She tried to attack me in front of my sister. Not only in front of my sister, in front of my cousin. My cousin had to hold her back. My room got destroyed, my door was broken.

So you told my producers that this is a pattern of hateful things that she does to you. What does she do?

When she's in her mood, she would throw her anger out on the wrong person.

Well, Keoni, it says, you said that your grandma says she fat shames you, calls you the B word. She says all the time that she regrets taking you in.

Yeah.

And she controls you.

Yeah. Well, the regret taking me in part was, it happened one time. It happened during COVID I remember me and my friend was sitting on the couch and she had asked me if I knew where something was at. I said, "No, I didn't." And she just went off from there.

Got it. So how does this all make you feel?

I feel like no matter what, deep down inside, you meant it.

Got it.

If you was to say it, you meant it.

So describe your relationship with your grandmother.

Well, it's like we live together, we with each other 24/7, but we don't have that emotionally, like, relationship. I can't go to her, I can't talk to her about what I'm going through. I'm like all on my own. The only person I could really go to is my aunts 'cause they've been through the same situation I've been going through.

Oh, they feel like they've been through the same situation with your grandmother?

Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah.

But that's their mom. Okay.

Yeah.

So I wanna just clarify, why did your grandmother take you in?

My grandmother took me in because at the age of 6, my mom had passed.

Okay.

When I was 6 years old, she was giving birth. Yeah, that's her.

Beautiful mother.

Thank you.

Yeah.

She was giving birth to my sister and unfortunately she never came back home after that.

What was it like for you growing up without your mom?

I felt lost. When you go through a death, no matter what, it hurts.

Yeah.

But when you lose your mother, that breaks you. That's permanently damaged you. And I feel like no matter what, I will always have that feeling inside. I just felt like a floater. Even though I did stay with my grandmother, she did took me in, I did feel kind of safe. That was home. Nana home was home to me. I still felt like a floater because I didn't have my mother.

My producer said that you've come into some money now.

Yeah.

What happened?

It's just from what happened.

From your mother's death?

Yeah.

Okay. Makes sense to me. So what do you think your Grandma Sharon is mad about the money?

I don't wanna say she's mad.

Okay, what language did you use?

I wanna say she does have some like hatred towards it. That's how I feel.

Okay.

I feel like she has some hatred.

Why?

Towards it. Because I feel like she told me before, she said, I feel like you, she says, she had asked me, she was like, don't you feel like I deserve half of it?

Wow. Because you took care of her.

She said if it wasn't, For her, I would've never had it.

Because she's the grandmother, so since she had your mother and your mother had you, that's why she feels like—

No, well that too, but no, because she went to go through the whole process of getting it.

Oh, she did the lawsuit 'cause you were a child.

Yeah, I was a child. So she went through the whole process of doing it. So I guess she feels like I should give her some of it.

What do you need my help with today with your grandma?

I just need help with like amending our relationship. I feel like I'm at the point of life where to where I want to get past all of this. But in order to get past it, I feel like it needs to be talked about, it needs to be confronted. I can't get rid of the pain or move past the pain until it be acknowledged.

Does she know you feel this way?

No matter how many times I express how I feel, she will always try to throw something in my face to make me feel bad. So like right before coming here, we had a little talk and I told her how I felt. She said to me, she said, "I feel like you're holding a grudge towards me." Like you, she said she feels like I hate her.

[Speaker] Got it. All right, listen everyone, time to hear from Keoni's grandma. Let's bring out Ms. Sharon. [APPLAUSE] Sharon, thanks for being here.

How you doing?

Okay, first of all, Grandma, you look fly. Thank you. Yeah, you do. So I wanna know from you, what is going on with you and your grandson?

Sometimes I feel like nobody understands me. I lost my child and I don't try to be slick or anything like that, but I try to get him to understand that if it wasn't for me, it wouldn't have been no you.

You say that all the time.

I do because it's reality. So the thing is, it's not looking for me doing all this to him. I'm not getting anything back. I feel empty because I done took care of everybody. I had to hold up for everybody. He was 6 years old. I had a 3-week-old baby in my hand. I took my daughter to the hospital. She told me she had a headache. I, I, I—

But don't you feel like if you were my grandma, that's something you were supposed to do?

Of course, because it's not only as a grandmother, but I'm talking about that's my child.

I hear you.

So if my child came to me and said she got a headache, I'm taking her to the hospital. But unfortunately, I had to leave my child there. What parent wanna do that? She's 27 years old. I don't know, you know, like, I am who I am. I'm a dominant woman, I'm strong. I've been through what I've been through.

Are you shocked to hear what your grandson is saying?

Oh, totally.

Why does it shock you?

Because I didn't know.

'Cause I never told her.

I didn't know that he really felt like this about me. I told him the other day that I feel like you don't like me. You love me, but you don't like me.

Yeah.

You know?

He says that you fat shame him. Is that true?

No, I don't fat shame him.

Not now.

No, go ahead.

Back then.

You go ahead.

When we was going through a lot and you would take your anger out on me, you would say things about my weight, about my body. I would get bullied in school and then have to come back home to hear it from you. It would hurt.

But you never told me you got bullied in school.

I will come to you all the time.

You never told me you got bullied in school because you know me, I would've went to the school.

You did go to the school for certain stuff. I was telling you I was getting bullied. I was telling you what they were saying about my mother, about my mother being gone. I was telling you about what they were saying about my sexuality. And I was telling you about what my body shape was.

What did I do when they said something about your mother?

You did go to the school.

I went to the school and I addressed it, right?

Yes.

Yes, I did.

And I am grateful for that.

You know, but my thing is, is that, you know, like, we having this, this little difficult time between me and you. And God knows on my soul, you know I got your back.

I know.

I got you. Did you ever ask me did I wanna do this? Nobody asked me did I wanna do it. You know, family came by and all of this stuff was going on.

But you had to wanna do it in order to do it.

And they say, "Oh, well we got you, we gonna help you." I look up when the smoke was clear, nobody was there.

Do you feel like your grandson is being ungrateful?

No, he's not ungrateful. He's just a child that's been damaged. You know, when he talk about the money, you know what I'm saying? I fought for 5 years because they told me my daughter's death was gonna be in vain. And I said, "The devil's a liar." So when we got to the claim, you know, it was about his sister too. So I was asking my daughter to go with me and nobody went with me. I went by myself.

Nobody else would take it but her. Nobody else is strong enough to do that. To go to court and relive it, rehear it.

And I had to put all my feelings to the side and go fight for my grandchildren. It wasn't even about the money. I wanted my daughter's death not to go in vain.

I hear you, I hear you.

Okay, so when he say things like, when I'm back there and I'm listening to him and he say things like, I think he's, I'm mad because I didn't, you know, I didn't get none and he feels like he's supposed to give me something. I'm broke, I ain't got no money.

When did I say that?

It might look like money, but I ain't got it.

When did I say that?

Okay, but my whole thing is, is that I had a claim with it and I withdrawed my claim.

You told me that you wasn't gonna get none no matter what.

I don't have to tell you everything. All you really have to know is that I have your best interests at heart.

It sounds like to me that you never got a chance to grieve your daughter.

No, I never got a chance.

I don't think none of us have.

Yeah.

None of us have.

No, I never.

None of us have.

I look at my daughter, we are destroyed. But that person there had my back.

I wanna say.

I miss my mother too.

I know you do, baby.

Ms. Sherry, why is it important for you to be here today?

For Keani. Because Keanu want me to show up.

And so you showed up.

That's why I showed up. You know how many times today I said I wanna go home?

And I said, let's go.

Keanu, what is it again that you want your grandmother to hear?

I do love you. And no matter what, I try my hardest to not act the way I do towards you. I have that feeling, but it's hard. The words that you had said said is going to stick with me for the rest of my life.

What are the words that she said to you that you want her to know?

We was arguing, you was trying to hit me with the stick and I was holding the stick from you. You said to me, "You're a bitch." That's not true.

Don't do that. I've never in my 62 years said that to you.

You probably don't remember because of the healing moment I was going through.

I remember. I never said that to my grandson.

I wouldn't just say that.

I never said that.

You did.

You gotta be kidding me. Never. And I'm not gonna deny I haven't said some things. I said some things like, "Stop acting like a bitch." Yeah.

You don't say that to a kid.

I said that. I did. I did say it. But y'all gotta, you know, and I'm not trying to make any excuses for my actions or my behavior. But I'm angry too. I'm angry. I'm angry right now that I feel like I'm losing my grandson.

What do you need from your grandmother right now?

What I need for her to just to be there for me emotionally, 'cause I'm still trying to figure out life. I'm still trying to just figure out everything. I don't have a mother, don't have a father, and you wanna go to the person you live with 24/7. You wanna go to your legal guardian, you wanna be able to go to them. And to not, to feel like you can't, it hurts. And I just want her just to be there for me more. I want us to have a better relationship. I want us to be able to talk to each other, not just talk about drama that's going on for somebody else's drama. No, let's talk about us. Let's talk about how we could better our mental health. Let's just talk about how we could better ourselves.

Ms. Sharon, how do you feel about that?

I respect it 100, but I respect him, you know what I'm saying? And I honestly can say is that I'm gonna work on it. That's my honest truth, you know? But I need stuff too.

What do you need?

I need you to come in the room sometime and say, "Nana, how you feel today?" Yeah.

Okay.

I cry in the night.

I cry in the night.

But you don't even know that I still come in the night, I still come in your bedroom to check to see if you breathing. From the heart attack you had.

I do the same thing to you, don't I? Knock on your door.

Yeah, you do check up on me.

'Cause I don't bust in your door, I knock on your door. You all right?

You saying that I don't come in and talk to you, right?

You don't talk to me.

Yes, 'cause I feel like I can't. Why?

You have to have a breakthrough. You gotta get past the stuff.

That's what I'm here for.

Let me say something to you. You said that you have had so much stuff with me, right? I just don't believe it's all me. You've been through so much.

I do.

At 16 years old, you haven't had a mother or a father.

You want an emotional connection, and what she's trying to do is tell you that she's emotionally feeling this way. Y'all are both in extreme grief. The love you have is mixed with this grief and this fear that we're gonna lose people, that y'all are checking on each other.

Right.

I'm gonna tell you this. When people have trauma and grief mixed together—

Hurt people hurt people.

They see things in their own way. Can you apologize to your grandson right now for the things that he felt you said? I apologize.

I'm really sorry if I hurt you that way. It was not intentionally. Sometimes it's misdirected anger. I don't know where I'm angry at. I don't know what to do sometimes. I'm sorry for we to get here, to have to do this. I am so sorry. That was not my intentions.

Can you accept all that and receive your grandmother?

Yeah, I do.

You can?

Yes.

She wants to be emotionally open to you. You see what you asked for, she's doing right here on the show.

Yeah.

She's showing you she can do it. Can you be a young man that can step into your maturity and do that for her as well? Yes. You can?

Yes, 'cause I need it too.

She needs it too.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just dying inside.

Y'all both are grieving. Y'all gotta be there for each other, all right?

Yeah.

You got somebody who's gonna ride for you for the rest of your life and who loves you.

And that's what I did for 5 years. I did that because—

Break off a coin.

I said it wasn't—

Give your grandmother a hug.

It wasn't about no money. I wanted them to be taken care of in case anything happened to me.

They won't have to go to nobody.

I know, I know. I get it. I get it. All right, everyone, so my next guest, Adrian, she desperately wants to reconnect with her daughter. She admits to abandoning her in the past, but she says she has done everything in her power to repair the relationship. Please welcome Adrienne to the show. How are you doing?

I'm good.

Good to meet you. How are you?

I'm peaceful.

What a pleasure.

You know what?

Amen to that. I'm gonna start saying I'm peaceful, okay? Peaceful. Well, this is heartbreaking from what I've heard so far. So you haven't talked to your daughter in 2 years?

It's been 2 years, yes.

Tell me what happened.

2 years ago, I was told by my daughter that she did not want me involved with her and my grandson because supposedly I had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Why do you say supposedly? Were you or were you not?

Because I have not.

Okay, 'cause you have not, okay.

Yes, sir.

OK, great. OK.

Yes.

So where does she come up with that from?

Well, because of the past. I stumbled. I was introduced to crack cocaine. And of course, it dissolved our family. And unfortunately for me, it was an experience that lasted about 10 years.

Oh, got it.

And—

but fortunately for me, I'm still living. And I lived through it. I've been 23 years clean.

Great job. Good job. Do you think your daughter's a good mother?

My daughter is awesome.

Yeah.

With the exception of me not being in her life and the challenges that we are facing. That was my child. I raised Candace.

Yeah.

Her name's Deekah for stage, but nonetheless.

Yeah.

She's my only child and he's my only grandchild.

Yeah. Did you have a close relationship with Deekah when she was growing up?

Yes, we were, I play a flute. And she and I at one point were hoping to be like the Judds.

Ah, mother-daughter duo.

Yes.

I like that. So when she was younger, you left her with her father?

I did.

Why?

Because of my addiction.

So you say that Deekah tries to act like she's the mother?

Yeah.

Here you go.

She's always been pretty possessive.

Yeah.

She's always wanted to be possessive of me as if she's the mom.

Okay.

She's very independent, very outspoken, and I tend to take the backseat to her.

Okay. I'm still missing what we think the problem is here.

In her mind, she believes that I was diagnosed as being bipolar.

Got it. I wanna be clear, she will not let you see your grandchild at all?

Right. None whatsoever.

And is it because of the fact that she thinks you're bipolar?

Yes.

Got it. So with this diagnosis, What behaviors does she think you're gonna have that's going to make you think that, you know, that's stopping her from letting you see your grandchild?

I'm uncertain why she feels as if I, first of all, have a diagnosis of being bipolar. And I don't know why she feels I, of all people, would not be good for my only grandson.

Well, I think to really help you all, I need to get to the bottom of this story. I think it's time to talk to your daughter, Deekah, and get her perspective on all this. Everyone, please help me welcome DeeKah to the front. Hi, DeeKah.

How are you doing? Hey, Karamo. How you doing?

I'm good. You look great.

I do.

So what do you do? Amen. What do you feel about what you just heard your mother saying?

I feel like it was very entertaining.

Oh.

But she's very good at that.

OK. Y'all, thank you.

OK. Here's the thing. You have a real problem with memory. You have admitted to me before that you have a problem with memory. You seem to forget when you were incarcerated for those 2 years, you came out with a prescription. That's how you had your stuff together so that you could start your little business. You seem to forget that you told me that you had never felt as good as you felt when you were on those pills. You forget that, don't you? You forget all the emails that you sent me at 11:30 when you're exhausted and your brain is tired and you haven't medicated yourself because you don't feel like mental illness is real for some reason. You don't believe mental illness is real, do you?

May I please interject? Yes, go for it, please. Here's the biggest problem. My daughter, Candace, won't leave well enough alone.

What you are is wrapped up in titles, and that's the problem.

Exactly.

I've tried to explain to you. She swear, oh, respect, respect, respect. Baby, you got to earn respect. I am an adult, Candy. Are you an adult? Bring it down a few notches. I am what, an adult? Bring it down a few notches. Okay, okay. This is why I can't see my grandchild. You need to work on you. How am I supposed to reason with a person who has one opinion at 3 o'clock and then has something totally different to say at midnight? We don't even talk to each other. She's talking 20 years ago, people. No, sweetheart, I talked to you 20 years ago. When I was about to get a restraining order against you. You went to her house, back and removed her son from his friend's house, two doors down without asking me. That is kidnapping, Adrian, regardless of whether or not you think you are a responsible adult. You do not act like a responsible adult.

You go off on impulse. I see that there's a lot of pain.

This is what I go through.

There's pain, there's pain.

There's a lot of pain.

But I wanna know something, 'cause I need to know what happened two years ago. What happened with your child?

2 years ago, I was going—

I filed for divorce.

Hi, did you see how he asked me and was looking at me? No, I really wasn't paying attention to who he was looking at.

This is a conversation.

But it's my child, right? And there's more than one person here. The words he used, and this is where we have a problem because words mean something different to you than they do to everybody else. The question was, what happened to my child?

I don't forget what I said about her wanting to be the mother.

Always. Because I'm the one who has understanding.

No, that's not true.

I don't want to be the mother.

That is not—

You have always put me in that position for your entire life. You have made these decisions based on what you wanna do in the moment. You need to bring it down a few notches and realize that you are the daughter. You my daughter, you ain't my mama. That has been your problem all along. Baby, I never wanted to be your mama because I would've raised you better than she did.

You figure out what's wrong, Candace.

I am trying to do all I can.

How was your relationship growing up? How was your relationship growing up?

Up until I was about 9, it was cool.

What happened at 9?

Real life starts happening and—

Her father introduced me to drugs, that's what happened. To break up our family, which she fails to realize.

But here we are 20 years later, still talking about the same stuff because grown people don't know to move on. Because you have children. Because grown people like you don't believe in mental illness and you don't go handle your trauma. So the rest of us have to hear you tell the same stories over and over again because you won't go pay a therapist to listen.

So what issues have you had with your mother regarding your son? I heard you say that she picked him up once.

Yes, she's picked him up most recently, which is why I, I finally had to put my foot down because I had told her very clearly, I wish I still had the text messages, but I told her in very, very clear terms that if you are not going to get help for yourself, then you don't need to be around me and my son.

You said when she came outta jail that they gave her a prescription.

Yes.

She had a prescription.

Yes.

I don't know why she would have a bottle with her name on it and pills if she didn't actually have a prescription.

I've never had a diagnosis.

Of by being bipolar. Candace's problem is that she wants attention. All right, that's her problem.

That's her problem.

And she wants it all to seem like it's me so that it can be as if she's free as a bird. She wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me.

So can we remove her from the stage so I can get my money? She needs to get it right. It's not just her.

I'm tired of hearing both of this.

It's my grandson. She's so stuck on her, she's stuck in the past on what happened. Understand everything she can. What are we doing now?

You were in the hospital recently. Did you visit her?

No.

What were you in the hospital for?

For my heart.

Okay.

She didn't even consider me on my dying bed.

Less than 3 weeks ago.

Yeah, right. No, it's not because that's my abuser.

Whatever.

That's my abuser.

She actually had a better life.

But if I had the email, she could not have had a better life than me. Me and all my friends all kind of, F word. She doesn't blame her father for any of this. 'Cause you've been beating me down for so long. I've been beating you down? You're such a victim, Adrian.

That's right. I got a question for you.

Yeah, sure.

You said you are a victim.

Mm-hmm.

Do you think that your daughter's a victim?

Definitely.

In what way?

From being abused during the relationship that my ex husband and I had.

Abused in the sense of you violating my boundaries over and over and over and over and over and over and over again that I've set for you.

My experience with drugs because of her father, which ruined our family. That was the very beginning.

How long was your father addicted to drugs?

For about, well, 14 years.

14 years.

Yeah.

And so he got sober before you?

Yes.

You don't call her mother, you call her Adrianne. Why?

Because she hasn't been a mother to me in years.

She hasn't allowed me to be her mother in years.

Every time I've given her a chance. She hasn't allowed me to be her mother.

How do you feel about your mother right now?

I feel like she has, everyone in the palm of her hand right now.

I feel like she has played y'all like a fiddle.

And if I was on drugs and broke down in prison, then she'd be happy with that.

Problem, she thinks that she should be on drugs for there to be something wrong with her and the way that she relates. But that's not the— that's not it.

So is there anything in your opinion that you think you could do, Deekah, to salvage this relationship?

The 3 things that she would have to do is seek professional help, stay away until I say so, and take some medication.

The thing with children of addicts is that one of the biggest things is that they need to set boundaries. She's an adult now saying, I don't feel safe and secure around you because of our childhood. But you have to acknowledge that the years of pain, there is almost 15 years of pain that she has went through. That literally, though you've done the work, she is still trying to heal from that pain. And she is telling you directly that the reason that I cannot call you mom is because I didn't feel like you were my mother. Reason that she doesn't want your grandson around you is because again, she's trying to figure out, is he gonna be safe? It all is in line. So even though I do believe in your heart of hearts You want a relationship with her. You wanna mend this. I'm here to be a mirror for you right now and say your actions are actually doing the exact opposite.

I get it.

You see that cycle there? She needs to feel safe. And when she calls you, she's saying that you might be diagnosed with bipolar. It's because she's trying to find something to say this make, to help her make sense in her mind of what's going on. You could have been diagnosed bipolar when you got out. I'm not calling you a liar.

I know.

But I'm also saying that the reason that you're really trying to make sure that you find that out is because it gives her understanding of like, why has my mother been like this to me my entire life?

Why would anybody's mother be like this to them ever?

I don't get it. You know I see you.

I know you do.

I see you.

I know.

Did you hear what I just said? Did you disagree with anything I said?

No.

But you both have to acknowledge what part you're playing in this world right now. Do you want your daughter to feel safe?

God, yes.

I know you do. Can you tell her, "I want you to feel safe"?

Deekah, I want you to feel safe.

And can you say, "I'm sorry that I didn't make you feel safe"?

Honestly, I really do feel bad that I've not made you feel safe.

And even to this day, I know that I'm not making you feel safe.

All of your life, to this day, that I've not been able to make you feel safe.

It's okay that you gonna need time. I get it, but at least she now understands and has the language that your boundaries is not you pushing her away. Your boundaries is saying, I need to figure out if I'm safe around you. This is what I would say. One of her demands was to see a doctor to clarify bipolar. Can you do that with her?

That would be a blessing.

Would you be willing to get her to get this diagnosis so we can see, so you get the answers you need?

Yeah.

You gotta give her time and I will be there to support y'all. She's gonna make some steps and I believe you're gonna make some steps too. I'm looking at the pain in both y'all and I know this can be healed. I know it can be healed. I know it can. Do you believe?

I believe you.

I believe. I believe in you. That's the reason I know it can be healed and I believe in you too. Tion and his dad Raphael fell out 3 months ago when they got into a had a verbal altercation and Tion sprayed his dad in the face with mace. And then if that wasn't enough, Raphael kicked down Tion's apartment door. And I've got to find out what happened next. Please welcome Tion to the show. Hey Tion. Hi.

How you doing?

Come on, shoot.

Oh, I tried. I tried.

Come on, shoot.

You ain't playing. How you doing?

I'm good, how are you?

I am good, but Teon, Teon, Teon, what I just read. So take me back to that night, what happened?

Basically, my dad stays out of town, so he came to my house for the holiday, for the weekend. And I was at a party, don't get me wrong, I was at a party, it was Halloween, and he needed the key to get in the house. But I told him when he came to get my key, Be at home when I get home. My phone was off. I told him I ain't gonna be able to call you when I get home, so can you be home? He wasn't there. I got home at 3 o'clock in the morning.

Okay.

I call him, get next to my Wi-Fi, call him. He answered, "Oh, I'm on my way, da da da da da, I'm sorry." It still took him 45 minutes to get to my house. So I'm standing outside in the hallway drunk. I was lit, I ain't gonna lie.

I was lit. Okay, okay.

So I was ready to lay it down. It was time to lay it down. 3 o'clock in the morning, ain't nothing else to do. He get off the elevator when he finally arrives 45 minutes later, hee hee ha ha and kee kee like it's a joke. And I'm upset now 'cause I had to wait. So I took off on him like, why are you so late? Why are you not here with my key when I told you to be here? And he wasn't there. So we got going back and forth or whatever. I said wait.

But why spray him in the face with mace?

He called me a. I'm gay. You call me gay. Don't call me no.

Got it. So you brought a video here to show me. Let me see the damage that happened that night.

You see like the door is all kicked open, the wood, the door is shut, but if you push it hard enough, you can still get in there. So I had to stay home all weekend with my door kicked in 'cause I had to wait till Monday morning for maintenance to come out and fix my door.

Who kicked this door open?

My dad.

Your dad kicked it?

Yeah.

Okay. And so how did things get that far outta control? I hear like it's Halloween. I understand how liquor played a piece and we'll figure that out. But you go from him being home and then all of a sudden you macing him, him calling you the F word, then y'all, him kicking down doors. Something within that is not tracking with me.

It was an argument. We was arguing in between time and basically I told him, since I have to wait to get in my house, you can just leave and you can just get outta my house. I took his bag and his girlfriend's bag. Y'all can get out. We had a few words and then he like, oh, you acting like a blah, blah, blah. He said it twice. So by the second time, I'm ready.

Yeah.

So I maced him. So I pushed him out. He was on like the little threshold. So I pushed him out, shut my door. When I shut my door, he kicked it. So like when he kicked it, like I tried to like stop it almost so it didn't really like fall all the way down, but it still was kicked in.

That's a lot of strong homophobic language. I wanna understand what was your relationship like before? Did he always exhibit homophobic behavior?

When I first came out, He probably was upset or whatnot, so we didn't talk for a little while, but he came around. And my dad, he turned out to be my best friend. I can call him and say anything. Dad, my boyfriend just cheated on me. And I can talk to him about stuff like that. But then it was just like, he lived with me at a point in time, lived on my couch, had a whole mattress in my living room at my apartment that he kicked my door in. So it was just like—

So y'all were close?

Yeah, that was my best friend.

So y'all were really best friends?

Outta all my dad's kids, I'm the only one that talked to my dad.

It hurts my heart to know that he didn't exhibit homophobic behavior before.

Right.

That y'all were close and that came out. So what's your relationship like right now?

We haven't communicated since then. I blocked him. I haven't talked to him. He doesn't have a really, he really didn't have a number for me to call anyway. We communicated on Facebook or whatnot, but I blocked him. I haven't talked to him and I'm hurt, yeah. I wanna talk to my dad. I want to be, have a good relationship back with my dad again, but it's just, do you still feel that way? Do you still wanna, you gonna get drunk and call me that again?

Listen, well, Teon hasn't spoken with his dad Raphael since the day they fell out after he sprayed his father with mace in the face. And I wanna hear what Raphael has to say about his side of the story. So everyone please welcome Raphael to the show. Hey Raphael, nice to meet you, sir.

How you doing, Karamo?

I'm good. I'm good too. Welcome to the show. There's a lot of tension between you and Tion.

Not really.

Not on your point of view?

He created it all.

Okay. How did I create it?

That night he was drunk. Halloween party.

You wasn't drunk?

The Halloween party. You weren't drunk though? You wanna talk or you want me to talk?

Go ahead, go ahead.

When I got there, I was in the parking lot. He called me, "Where you at? I need my key." I got up there. Soon as I got to the top of the steps, he disrespects me.

You got off like it was hunky-dory. Like I just went out there waiting for 45 minutes for you to come let me in my house. If you was downstairs in the parking lot, it don't take you 40 minutes to come upstairs.

He stays in a high-rise, 13 stories.

Take 5 minutes to get upstairs.

We were in the apartment complex parking lot. We rode up the steps, the elevator, got to his apartment.

It don't take 45 minutes to come upstairs.

When I got there, he said, "You ain't gonna be doing this shit." This, that, and cussed me all the way out. I don't have to wait on nobody to get in my house. I'm your dad, you're not gonna talk to me like that.

Boy, come on.

When you came out, who threw you a party?

It don't matter.

Me.

When I came out, we were not just the closest. It took you a while to come around, Dad. It took you a while.

Tiana, you talked to me in the car.

You sat there and said, "I'm coming out." And I said, "I don't care if you loved me." It took you a while to come around.

Now you're lying.

No, I'm not.

I accepted you from day one.

No, you did not.

I never had a problem with it.

I didn't.

When you sat and told me that—

When you came around, we was close.

What did me and TT and everybody say?

Everybody said we've been through it.

It don't matter.

It's different if you've been through it, then when somebody come out and say it. And I accept it.

Like, what do you mean?

And I accept you.

I love you regardless. So, Raphael, do you feel like Tionne is the reason that there's a problem in your relationship?

He is a spoiled kid.

I'm the only kid on my mom's side.

He's the only kid on his mom's side.

He's spoiled.

Now he's grown, and we're not doing nothing for him no more. Now nobody likes him, loves him.

Say what?

That's it. You grown now.

Well, Tion feels like it's your fault for what happened that evening.

Okay, so what was my fault?

You took forever to come to my house.

So that mean you maced your dad 'cause he took 20 minutes?

Boy, I maced you 'cause you called me a bitch.

Anybody out here would mace somebody who took 20 minutes?

You called me on my name. You disrespected me. That's a derogatory word. Who does that? You don't say nothing like that to me.

And I didn't disrespect you until you maced me.

Okay.

Period.

So why was it important for you to bring your father here?

Because I just feel like It need to be reconciled. It's not, it's not, my feelings is still hurt, to be honest.

I don't care about 'em right now 'cause you maced me.

There's a lot of pain that's going on here. And the pain has started from you from when you were younger and were rejected.

It's been a long while. My pain, my pain.

Hold on, I want you to answer.

He's never been rejected. No, no.

I didn't say from you. Hold on, hold on.

Oh, okay, okay.

I was about to say he's never been rejected.

Karamo, let me get to this. Your experience and his experience are always gonna be different. And for him, his experience gets to be his truth. It doesn't mean that it's your truth, but we have to acknowledge when someone else and how they feel in their truth.

I understand that, but I had to live with him since he was this big. I had to defend it. I didn't live with him since he was this big. I've been defending this boy his whole life.

I understand, but even though you might tell him to be in his corner.

I know my son's truth. I had to deal with that. I had to deal with my friends talking about some, "Why your son over there dancing and playing with the girl?" I had to deal with that. I had to cuss people out.

I understand.

I had to dang near fight my friends.

I understand.

Taking up for my son that I love.

I understand.

Truly.

What I'm acknowledging and talking about right now is his truth.

Let's hear his.

That's what it is. Okay. So when you were younger, you said that people rejected you.

Not necessarily people rejected me. I never even, I don't feel like I ever felt like I was rejected.

What happened with your family when you came out?

When I came out, my mom put me out. I didn't have nowhere to go.

That's called rejection.

I was living with Latia, sleeping on her floor until 2018 when I got my own place and I didn't look back since and I don't.

And so what did other family members do? Did anybody else other than Latia reach out to you?

I mean, a couple did here and there, but—

But no one else did? No. So you felt rejected?

Yeah, basically almost.

A little bit.

Yeah.

But I don't feel like I really don't care for her. My attitude, I have a I don't care attitude. So I don't care if you don't care, if you don't reject.

Let me tell you something. That attitude and that anger—

It's gonna hurt me in 10, I know.

Comes from that place of being rejected. So when people say I don't care, it's because at the end of the day—

I do care, but it's just— You do care.

So then sit in that vulnerability right there. Stay in that vulnerability.

It's hard.

I know it is. So that's why even though y'all have had a great relationship, him saying the F word, whether it was before you maced him or after, that's not my care right now. My care is that that retriggered those feelings of now the one person I thought in my corner is gonna reject me.

Yeah, I don't tolerate disrespect.

I don't care. I know you don't because that's the guard, that's the wall. That's why you said it's hard to be vulnerable because anytime you've been vulnerable, that leaves you open for hurt then. Yeah. So can you acknowledge just before, I'm gonna get to what he did to you, I'm listening to you. So don't think that I'm over here, it's one-sided.

I'm listening to you.

I know you said you protected your son, you were trying to be there for you. But for people who have been hurt and rejected, when someone you trust and love says something that is like, it makes you think, has that always been in there?

Right.

Has it always been something you wanna say?

And vice versa.

No, we can't go vice versa yet. Just stick with me, please. Stick with me. I promise you. If you disrespect your parents that much, I promise you.

Does that mean you never respected me from the start?

Sir, sir, sir, I promise you I'm gonna acknowledge what you went through and been through. I'm asking you, can you understand how the rejection he experienced in the moment as a child has made him feel when you said that word, that it remakes him think like, am I about to be rejected by the person I thought loved me?

I don't care about that night 'cause he makes his father. First off, I don't care because I wouldn't have never said anything. I didn't say anything until he, Maced me in my eye.

Why was that the word that you felt that you needed to use?

Because he was so disrespectful and macing his parent. You wanted to hurt him. For no reason.

You wanted to hurt him.

You hurt me for no reason.

Okay, so lemme tell you something, 'cause as a father right now, my sons have done things to hurt me, but I have to acknowledge that even though they've hurt me.

Do they have to respect you?

My children? Yes. When I give them respect, yes.

Respect is two, it goes two ways.

So before that night, I never respected you?

Two ways. I never said you didn't.

So he has acknowledged that you had a key.

So why disrespect me that night because I'm 40 minutes late with a key?

Who plays that game? Raphael, Raphael, I'm gonna ask you something.

Makes no sense.

Raphael, I'm gonna ask you something. Do you want to salvage the relationship with your son?

No, I'm good. He got about another year before he good with me.

So you don't want to salvage the relationship with your son?

I didn't mess up.

You did mess up.

You right, I was 10 minutes late.

No, because you called your son out of his name.

Yes, after he disrespected his father.

It don't matter if he was 5, 10, or 20 minutes late. I still shouldn't have to wait for my key to get in my own house.

I ain't never grew up where you could disrespect your parents and get away with it.

It don't matter, it's my house.

I don't have to wait for you to get in my house.

I ain't never grew up where you could disrespect your parents.

Well.

Your son called the show to repair your relationship.

I've never been anywhere where you could disrespect your parents.

Your son called the show to repair this relationship. I'm gonna ask you one more time.

He already said no, it's okay. Look, he know me. He already don't talk to none of his kids anyway, so that's why he really don't care.

You want me to call 'em right now?

'Cause you got their number now.

What hurts me about this is—

Now I got their number.

What hurts me about this is because you keep saying that we had the best relationship and all this, and I've seen this a lot on this show. There's something about this arrogance of men that we get into. I've seen this many times where we sit in front of our hurting children and all of a sudden it's like, I'm gonna show you, I'm, no. And say, you know what, I don't care either.

It's not even a man. It's a principle thing.

No, it is a man thing.

You mess up at school, you mess up at work, there's consequences.

You're not gonna disrespect your parent and come back the next day and be like, "Everything cool." If you trust the process and understand what I'm about, what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna see your side and I'm gonna help you to be acknowledged and feel seen. But it is a process that must happen. And you've deterred the process when you said, "I don't care about repairing this relationship." I'm gonna ask you please one more time.

He already said no, Karamo, it's okay.

No, no, no, because I don't believe in that. I've seen this a million one times where I've had men on this show that after they get off this show, they call back and they saying, I'm sorry, I wish I would've listened. I don't want that to happen here. Please, I'm gonna ask you again. Do you want to repair the relationship with your son?

Yeah, where he can become a respectful son like any other son.

Answer, just stick with yes.

That's it. No, it's no yes or no.

No, it's no yes or no. Because I'm going to acknowledge, I'm going to acknowledge.

But no.

I don't.

Jesus.

I'm sitting here trying with him and I love him.

You're not trying, sir.

I love him.

You're not trying. I've done everything. No, no, no, no, sir, sir. No, no, no. Because this is where, again, and people who have come to this show many times have watched this show, this is where I get upset because you're not trying. You're not trying at all.

And I've never been there for him.

He don't know me at all. No one said that. You can play the victim somewhere else, but you can't play with someone who understands how to play language. I don't wanna be the victim.

I don't wanna be the victim.

And no one has said that you did not be there for him. And I'm not playing the victim. You are playing the victim in this moment. What I asked you was if you wanted to repair the relationship with your son and you said no 4 times.

Yeah, 5 now.

Don't make me none. I don't care. 5 now. 5 times.

That, that.

5 now.

Thank you for being on my show.

I appreciate it.

Thank you, sir. Thank you so much. I'm gonna talk to your son.

Okay.

He don't care and I don't care. He don't care, I don't care. 'Cause I'm trying not to get emotional, but—

No, you can be emotional here because I'm sorry. Because I watched what you experienced and I also understand why you are angry because this is deeper than this show.

Yeah, it is.

What do you need to heal in this moment?

Honestly, he don't care, so I don't care.

Can I encourage you to say this just for yourself? Don't say that no more, that I don't care. It's okay that you care. We all witnessed the hurt. We all witnessed it. And no one is gonna sit here and be like, you're wrong for wanting to get some respect. So you don't have to say I don't care. We know you care. We know you care.

'Cause I do.

And we care too. But I really don't.

And like, in the inside I care, but in the outside I don't. Like I gotta—

Well, that's the wall. That's the wall. That's the wall. That's the man that's learned how to protect the kid. That's what that is. And so you do care. And I'm sorry that your father wasn't able to step up in this moment. So y'all need to know that when I worked in social services, I worked primarily with LGBT youth between the ages of 12 and 21 years old. And I understand the damage, especially for an LGBT youth, when you have a parent that's rejecting you and the rejection continues through your life and how it causes anger issues, trust issues, walls going up. And so for me professionally and just personally, I would never re-trigger someone for a television show. I'm sorry that we couldn't get to a resolution here.

I really am.

It's all right.

I really am.

I thought we could. That's why I came to the show.

I know you're hurt. If you really wanna establish a relationship with your father, you gotta find a better way to be vulnerable with him other than through anger. You deserve to have your feelings acknowledged. You understand. You have been rejected from a child And you did not deserve that. The thing that I could only leave with you is I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too.

You know what? So what would you do if you caught your man paying another woman's bills?

I can tell you what I would do, but this ain't me. Now what if the first months of dating, you'd never been to your man's house? And what if you walked into your boyfriend's house and found him naked in bed with another woman? Most women and myself would walk away. But my next guest, yes, yes, but my next guest, with no judgment, Shanice decided to stay. She continued to deal with his toxic behavior. But my question is, why? She says she still loves him and I wanna know what's going on in their relationship. So let's bring Shanice out.

Welcome Shanice to the show.

Oh, Shanice, you cute. You fly. Can I have a hug? How are you doing?

I'm good. How are you?

I'm really good.

This little jacket situation is giving.

Thank you.

It needs to be giving.

All right.

Yes, I'm living. Okay, so now tell me, 'cause we just heard those things in the intro. Which I even said, some of the people would've just walked away, but you decided to stay. So when did the trust first break in your relationship?

So one day we was sitting in the car and he was paying a light bill. So when I looked at the light bill, I'm like, whose name is that? It's a girl. He's like, oh, this is the older couple. So I'm like, all right. I didn't say anything. I'm like, okay. So later on he left his Apple Watch. I went through it. He had a whole roommate, well, girlfriend, not even a roommate, girlfriend.

And how long at this point were y'all dating?

6 months.

So you're 6 months in and you discover not only is he paying someone else's bills, but he's in a full relationship with them.

Yes.

Okay, 6 months in. Okay.

So by then I had feelings, I loved him.

Yeah.

So I stayed.

Got it. And how many times did he cheat on you?

Oh God. A lot.

A lot?

I know over like 12 girls. Probably more.

My producers also told me that he's holding your school books hostage.

Yes, he is.

If you don't, the direct words my producers told me is that if you don't leave here with him, that he's not gonna give you your school books. Okay, tell me more about that.

And he knows my state boards is next month and he's like, if I don't go, like if I don't be with him, I can't have my books. He wants to hurt me like I hurt him. But you hurt me, you damaged me, you broke me as a woman.

Mm-hmm. Okay, well listen, there's always two sides to every story and I think it's time to hear Felix's side of the story. So everyone, let's bring Felix out. Hi Felix.

How you doing?

I'm Karamo. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Yeah, take a seat. So I gotta get right into this. So we heard that you cheated on her several times. Is that true?

Yes, it is.

And why did you want to cheat on Shanice instead of just staying single?

To be honest with you, I don't know why I cheated. I can't really give you an answer about why I cheated, but I did do it at the time and I'm sorry for it. And then for her to keep on bringing the past back, it's just making a strain and that's why we argue.

Well, when is the last time you cheated?

The last time I cheated was a while ago. It's been 3 months since we had our last situation. Our last situation has been 3 months.

And how long have y'all been together?

We've been together almost 3 years now.

So 3 years and from your words, the last time you had a situation or cheated was 3 months ago.

That's the last time we had a situation where we argued and we broke up.

Okay.

Was 3 months ago.

And was that based on you cheating?

It was based on me doing the dumb shit of kicking her out and stuff like that.

Cheating?

Sha, lemme talk.

Cheating though.

You like to talk, lemme talk. Lemme talk, please. All right.

Go ahead.

Karamo, if it's all about cheating, then I'm sorry about cheating. I can't take it back. I can't go back and take myself outta that position. I gave him my camera password, I gave him my location. Every time I go over there—

You turn that off.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

What happens with the books? Because she's saying that you are holding the books ransom if y'all don't leave here together.

I'm not holding the books ransom. I left them somewhere and I was supposed to pick them up. We decided to do this thing and then—

You told me they're in your safe.

Shawndra, you know they wasn't in the house, bro. When the hell did I get them?

Oh my God, the lies do not stop with you.

When did I get them? I told you they wasn't in the house.

Okay, keep going.

So you tell me that if she doesn't leave here today, you're giving her her books?

Yeah, I'll give her books. I don't care about that, bro. I've helped her with her school. That's a lie? You sure about that? What about that project that I did for you?

You helped her?

28 pages.

I did it for her.

I'm your girlfriend.

I designed the project for her. Like, I did it all for you. Like, are you not understanding that? I want you to strive. I want you to be bigger. Like, I wanna get you a store to the forefront so that you be able to do your esthetician stuff.

So you say you want her to strive and you want her to be better, but do you see how your actions could be bringing her down?

But do you understand, Karamo, that my actions is not bringing her down, but does she understand that her actions is bringing me down?

In what way? You tell me how.

In what way is that she never answers my calls for affection. She's never there for me as I'm there for her. Let's talk about the week before. My grandmother passed away about 2 years ago. It was her birthday the week before. I kept seeing timeline, all my grandmother pictures, everything, all of that. All week I was asking her, babe, can you just come by, chill with me, not have sex with me. Can you come by, chill with me, console me because I'm feeling sad. Every single day that week I asked her. Every day she had an excuse. Oh, I gotta go to school. I gotta do this.

I gotta go to work.

That's fine. So come Saturday, which is Friendsgiving, I said, I call her up and she's like, "Oh babe, I'm playing a game with my family. I'll call you when I'm done." 4 in the morning comes, I didn't get a call from her. I look on Snapchat, she's taking pictures on Snapchat all drunk.

Yeah, okay.

And that's my problem. Like she looks at social media.

So has she been like this since the beginning of your relationship? When the beginning of your relationship, were you affectionate?

Yes, very.

Very. What changed for you?

The cheating, the lying.

But my whole thing is Karamo.

Hold on, we have a ping and my producers tell me they wanna bring me my evidence bag because there's something on your phone, Shanice, that you wanna show me. I don't know what this is. What is it that you wanna show me?

A video.

Okay. What is this video you wanna show me? When is this? Okay, so. Sorry, I gotta come up. So this is a video of you having sex with another woman. And why do you have this on? How did you get this on your phone? From his Snapchat. So you got this from his Snapchat?

Mm-hmm.

Why do you have the video?

Oh, 'cause I went through his phone and I went to his pictures and I seen the time he was with her having sex. When I was supposed to be with him.

So what is your thing to that?

I was 100% wrong, Karamo. Like, there's nothing else I can say.

She never left through this whole relationship from the beginning to the end.

There's nothing else I can say, Karamo, is that I was wrong.

She been around.

You need to go be with her.

100%.

But I'm confused because she's showing me a video of, first of all, like the fact that you've seen that video, that would be for me enough to say I'm done.

It broke me.

I get it broke you.

I'm devastated.

I get it broke you. You, but I don't get why you keep going back. I don't understand that.

Me either.

Well, listen, we have Shanice's best friend and coworker Maddie in our audience today. Maddie, um, what have you witnessed?

I've witnessed— I mean, over the last 20, 48 hours, 'cause I spent 2 days with these, with both of them, um, over the last 48 hours, I've witnessed, um, Flex be immensely manipulative with the words that he says. You don't understand, bro, but the verbiage that you use, it don't make you look manly, it makes you look like a punk 'cause it makes you look like you wanna control somebody. And in reality, bro, in reality, no disrespect, but you about to push 40 years old. You gotta grow up, my nigga.

Like, that's just how it is. You really have to grow up.

You treat my best friend like she's like dog shit. Like you treat her, like you dog her out all the time, bro. "And that's not cool. That's my best friend. You a beautiful girl, Shanice. I swear to God, you a beautiful girl and you deserve so much better than he can ever give you. I promise you, baby.

Much love, for real." So he says that your language is manipulative. Are you manipulative in your language?

I mean, I don't feel like I am.

So I can tell you from here, one of the main words I wrote in your communication is manipulation.

Okay.

So there is manipulation in the way that you speak. To say things. Do you see you being manipulative?

I mean, I don't see it that way.

And why don't you see it in that way?

I mean, like, let me explain the situation. Like yesterday, the whole situation that we got into an argument about her staying in the room with me was, so we went out, we went to the mall and stuff, and then we came back, and when we came back, she went to her room or whatever, I went to my room, And she was wondering why I had an attitude. And I'm like, I don't like to be away from you and you know that. And when she came to my room, we talked about that.

But even that, that's part of manipulation and control. To be able to say to somebody, you're going here, because I think language is important. So we must learn the language. So if you're watching this at home, you can recognize this in your own life. If someone says, I'm gonna go to the mall and then I come back and I'm pissed and I got an attitude now, that's a toxic behavior because now it's like, well, you left me for a second. So now I'm manipulating you emotionally to wanna come back to me, but I'm also controlling you to make you feel like you can't leave without me later in the future. That's manipulation and control. Do you see that?

I mean, as you saying it now, I see it.

I think that unconsciously you've always known that you have exhibited this behavior. I think the thing for me, if I'm an outsider, is that you know you're gonna get away with it because she's always going to come back. So when you have someone who's gonna always come back, Why would I ever need to change my behavior? But I will say this to you. I'm listening here and yes, you cheated. Your stuff is laid out. And now that I've given you that language to understand that you are manipulating her and you are controlling her, you get it. But for you, this is the bigger piece for me. You're addicted to drama. Did you realize that? You can be addicted to a negative emotion and that is what you're exhibiting. You are addicted to it. And even though you're saying it is breaking your self-esteem, even though you're saying that it is breaking me, it's hurting me, you are still just like an addict who sees their body deteriorating, they see their life crumbling around them, they still say, I wanna go back for more. The fact that you've done two key things that I wrote down, you call your family members consistently to get validation for the drama you're in and they've told you and set a boundary that they don't wanna hear it anymore. Yet you're still trying to reach out to them. That means you want more of the drama to be around you. The second, the biggest piece is that you're holding onto a video of your man having sex with another woman and it hasn't made you leave. It hasn't made you leave. You are looking at a man that you say you love have sex with another woman and you think that is healthy.

No, I know it's not healthy.

Then why are you doing it? Because you're addicted to it. The only way for you to get over your addiction and for you to actually be able to confront him and say, these are my boundaries, this is what I deserve, is if you are able to say, just like any other addict, that you don't want to be addicted to drama anymore.

I don't, and he knows that.

Okay.

You're saying he knows it. Do you believe it?

I believe it.

Okay then. So if you don't wanna be addicted to drama anymore, first thing is that you need to delete that outta your phone. Because you're looking for validation to say, oh my gosh, look, look, look. Go into deleted, no, go into deleted folder too. Go into deleted folder too. 'Cause I know how that works. So now you said you deleted that from your phone. I'm sure there's other stuff in there that you're gonna need to go through later and to delete.

Yeah.

But the question is, if you're addicted to this negative behavior, do you want to stop being addicted to this?

I do.

Then if you wanna stop, when you know when an addict is addicted to drugs, when someone's addicted to gambling, what do you do to drop the addiction? You have to get the drug out of your life.

Exactly. And he doesn't understand that.

Do you understand it? You keep pointing at him.

I understand.

That shows me the addiction. That shows me addiction. Are you ready to say it's up to you? 'Cause I'm not telling you to do anything. I'm not telling you, it has to be on you.

We came on the show to end this. I love you and I really wanna be with you.

I've been very clear about behaviors, manipulation and control. He told you he's not giving you your books. How much do your books cost?

$500.

I will give you $500 to make sure that just in case he doesn't give you your books, You can still continue your career. So now you have your books. You said, are y'all still living together?

No.

So you're not living with him anymore?

Nope.

So you're not living with him. The only thing he has is your books. So it's up to you now to say whether you wanna be addicted to this or not.

I don't.

I love you. So what do you wanna say to your man?

Listen, I'm willing to change. I'm here on the— I didn't come on this show. I didn't come on this show to, to— I didn't come on this show I didn't come on the show to end this. I come on the show to fix this. Like, I love you. I love you.

You know what's so crazy to me though? You know yesterday at the barbershop, right? When I told them, oh, they can keep you. You told the man that he can have me. And what did he do?

Put his arm around me and took me.

You said that he can keep me though.

Yo, what is wrong with y'all?

Are you dumb?

Are you dumb? What do you want to say? Look at this unhealthy communication right here.

I can't do it.

Do you want to go?

Goodbye.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's part of manipulation. Recognize behavior.

That is not him trying to say I.

He's manipulating you.

I know.

Let me show you.

I'mma leave.

I'm done. So that later on I can say, well, baby, you put me in that situation, on a leave.

That's it.

Are you done?

I'm done.

Can you tell him? Because I noticed there, right there, you couldn't find the words to tell him. You went into another story.

'Cause I want him to know something, that's why.

But see, part of you wanting to know him is part of that addiction. It's part of that feeling of like, let's have one more argument. Let's have one more thing.

I'm sorry.

I just wanted to say. You don't need to apologize. You don't need to apologize. He is verbally abusive. He cuts you off. He's been cheating on you. You know all the things. But there's something about you that's still holding onto this negative behavior. And he's gonna continue to manipulate you, control you, and cheat on you until you make the decision to say enough is enough. And I realized right there that you didn't have the courage to say enough is enough.

No, it is, I'm done. That's it, okay, I am single. Okay.

I am proud of you for ending this. I am proud of you. And I don't wanna diminish the fact that you just ended something,, but I need you, sister, to learn, don't engage anymore. Let me tell you something, somebody who don't want drama does this, boy bye, I'm done. And their friend comes up to them, they be like, what happened? They be like, I'm done, girl, I don't even wanna talk about it. Let's go have a cocktail. Y'all ever been to that place? Y'all know when you get to that place, you are not about the drama anymore. That's the place you need to get to. I believe you gonna get there. I believe you gonna get there. Thank you so much. Yeah, you're welcome. I do love you, I do love you. All right, my next guest, Shamika went viral on TikTok last Sunday after she caught her husband Ifeanyi at a hotel with another woman on their anniversary. Shamika and Ifeanyi are here to get my advice on how to save their marriage. But first, let's take a look at what Shamika posted on TikTok.

This is your brother with another bitch, with another bitch. In his car. Another bitch in his car. Listen to me, don't come back to my house. Don't come back to me.

Part 2 of my cheating ex-husband.

Got a hotel with another bitch. With another bitch. He on a visa, bitch. Guess what? You want back to Nigeria, back to Nigeria.

Many of us have seen that on TikTok. Everyone, please welcome Shamika.

Hi.

Hi, Karamo.

How are you doing, beautiful? Take a seat. All right, so I just wanna start right off 'cause we've seen the video, we know you caught him. Where did he say he was going originally?

He originally told me that he was gonna go to the bank to go get money. For rent and then he said that he was gonna go to the smoke shop and I was like, okay, just, he said he's gonna be right back home and I was like, okay. But it took a little too long so I was like, let me check where he at.

Yeah, so why did you post a video?

I posted a video because I was really upset with him. I initially posted it on his page and then I posted it to my, TikTok account.

Got it. So is this the first time he's cheated on you?

No, it's not the first time he cheated on me. This is the second time that he's cheated on me. The first time was last year during our, well, close to our anniversary, a couple weeks after our anniversary.

And that first time, the first anniversary when you think he cheated on you, did he admit to cheating on you?

He admitted to cheating on me, but then he quickly took it back after I got upset. On set. And then he tried to play it off as a joke. And then I let, I happened to record him that time and I let my friends listen to what he was saying. And they were like, "Oh, okay, he was just joking, he was just joking." But that woman's intuition, baby, no.

So I wanna get a timeline of your relationship. So how long have you been together?

We've been together since the end of 2018. But I've met him since 2016, but we didn't get married until 2019.

Okay, so you knew each other in 2016. Mm-hmm. 2018, you started dating. Mm-hmm. Was he here?

Was he— He was in Nigeria.

He was in Nigeria.

Yes, he was in Nigeria.

So in 2018, you flew to Nigeria to go see him?

In 2019, I flew to Nigeria. I stayed, we stayed at his sister's house. She just got that house and she let us stay. She's a wonderful person. Got it. But she let us stay there. We stayed there for a month and then we decided that we were gonna go ahead and proceed to get married.

And how did you meet in the first place?

We actually met on Facebook. He messaged me and at first I didn't wanna talk to him because I had just got out of another serious relationship. So I told him, we talked, but I told him, I was like, I'm just gonna—

What was it about him that you loved that you said, I wanna do this?

When I first met him, he was sweet, he was kind. He treated me very well.

All right, so we actually have a video from Ifeanyi with his thoughts on your marriage. I wanna take a look at this.

My wife Shamika, she caught me in a hotel with another woman, but I wasn't cheating on her. That was my friend's girl.

She wasn't mine.

At first I didn't know it was her. She just came to me like a wild beast trying to destroy my car and all that. I cheated on Shamika one time, but I had a reason for that. Whenever Shamika is angry at me, You know, she be always threatening me with, "Oh, I'm gonna send you back to Nigeria." Always intimidating me with that, and I don't like it. I'm sick and tired of getting so much disrespect from Shamika and her friends. The way it stands right now, you know, I'm fed up.

I'm fed up. That's the way I feel right now. Shamika, how do you feel about what he just heard?

I feel hurt because like I've told him before, He doesn't give me my time and that's all I ask of him. And like, and a lot of times when I'm trying to talk to him, he's telling me, he's telling me, "Don't disturb my life." And that hurts me and that bothers me. So I'll say little stuff to get back at him.

Such as saying, "I'll send you back to Nigeria." Yeah. I think it's time for all of us to meet Ifeanyi, her husband, don't you think? Everyone, welcome Ifeanyi to the show.

How you doing, man? Good to meet you.

Good to meet you too. So you said you weren't cheating at the hotel, so what were you doing?

Okay, what actually happened that day, I told her, okay, I wanna go make a withdrawal from the ATM and I want to go to the smoke shop and get some smoke. She kept calling me. Like a few minutes later, I picked up the phone. I told her, listen, I'm coming home. Why are you rushing me? I said, I'm coming home. And then when I cut off the call with her, a friend of mine called me. He told me the situation he was in. He said, oh, he have this friend that he was giving a ride. And his car, something happened to his car. Like, could I come? Because he's taking the girl to a hotel. Should I come home? I should come help him.

This story sounds so fishy.

No.

Like all these details. My homie was driving a girl, it broke down, I had to pick her up at a hotel.

That's what actually happened though.

Uh-huh.

Okay, okay.

So, so can I ask you this? When Shamika was calling you, then why didn't you just say, hey, A friend of mine said I need to pick up his friend at, you know, and we're gonna be here. She said she was calling you.

I answered the call.

Yeah, so why didn't you just tell her?

I know the kind of person she is. If I told her, she doesn't wanna like see me with a female or any, like she doesn't wanna hear.

If nothing was going on, most of the time if you pick up a girl that's just a friend, why was she so disrespectful to your actual wife when your wife pulled up? 'Cause normally she would've been like, oh my gosh, there's nothing going on here. I'm so sorry, I know what you're thinking. She was doing like this, she was like in your face. So why would she be doing that if there wasn't something else going on?

That wasn't the first encounter.

Understand?

That was when she just started making the video.

So I wanna ask you this. You admitted to cheating on Shamika once before. What happened in the past?

Okay, to clear that day, that video, I didn't cheat on that girl. If I did, I will let her know.

But you did admit to cheating on Shamika in the past, right? Yeah, yeah, I did. So you say that Shamika listens to her friends and doesn't listen to you? Yes. Tell me about that.

You know, whenever we have issues in our marriage, you know, instead of both of us to like work it out, she be always talking bad about me to her friends. You know, talking down on me. Say, "Oh, he doesn't do nothing for me. He doesn't take care of me. He doesn't love." He doesn't love me, you know, badmouthing me to her friends. So I'm like, why would you be talking about your husband like that? They have their own men. They don't talk to you about their men like that. So what would you be doing, you know, spoiling your man with your friends?

Why would you do that? So my producer said that you're angry at Shamika, why?

Yes, I'm angry at her because I've talked to her in this marriage, you know, I have to bring my own contribution. Our marriage doesn't have a structure yet. We live in a family member's house. We need to get our own place. I told her, let's get our own place. Let's save up and get our own place. I was putting up money. She was working, she earned more than me. She wasn't putting anything out. And I was like—

So do you feel used by Shamika?

Definitely, I feel used by her. She be the one stating that I'm using her because she brought me over here. I'm like, okay, the audience, they could reason. I've been putting money out for us to get a place. She went and take that whole money. Was like $1,500. I have saved it like under 2 months. She went and, wait, let me finish. She went and take the whole money, but she called me at work. She said she needed like $200. I said, okay. She know where I keep my money. I was like, "Don't touch it, but come, I'll give you myself." Then when I got home, I saw that my bag has been ransacked. She took the money, the whole money. And I called her and she was like, she was laughing. She was like, "Oh, I'm in a hotel. Oh, I'm just, so you have that kind of money? If I ask you for money, you'd be like." I was like, "You asked me for $200 and I said when I get home, I'll give it to you. So why would you go take all the money?" Then I cut the call 'cause I was mad.

Were you ever happy in your marriage?

I was at first, but Right now, the way things is going, she's like a dictator in the marriage. She always want me to agree on her terms. If I say, oh, I don't like it like that, she's like, oh, I'm gonna send you back to Nigeria. Like saying it, this is not like the first time.

No, I don't.

What you mean no you don't? That's what you always tell me that. You always say I'll send you back to your country.

No, it's when you, when I'm sitting here telling you that I wanna spend time with you, and then you're telling me to like get outta your face and don't talk to you and tell me I'm disturbing your life. If I was disturbing your life, then why didn't you just stay in Nigeria and leave me alone? Like you don't know how that hurts me. You don't know how that makes me feel. Yeah, that hurts me. This is what he likes to say to me. He says that I can either have money or I can have romance. I can't have both.

He can't give me both.

Because she always ask for money and you ask for both.

Okay, I'll give you everything. I wanna know from you, do you wanna save your marriage?

Not after what she have done to me. She has humiliated me so much. So why would I wanna save a marriage that anytime she get angry, she can't get control of her emotions?

So you don't wanna save the marriage, then what do you want? Tell your wife.

I've told her. 2 months ago, she acted the same way. She was like, I told her, we went to the court, we got the papers, we fill up the papers for the divorce. Okay, let's go to the court and finalize it. I don't know what she do with the paper. She throw it away.

So I'm gonna ask you directly. Yeah. Do you want a divorce?

I do want a divorce.

So you want to be done?

Yeah.

I don't care if she send me back to my country. I just want a peace of mind. I just want a peace of mind. She's not giving me the peace of mind. I'm doing everything for her. You know, I'm not getting that appreciation. You know when somebody do something for you, you give appreciation. That person will want to do more.

So you're hearing this directly. He's saying he wants a divorce. Wants a divorce. Are you processing it? Are you receiving that? I'm processing.

Yeah.

So that is it. I told her what I want. I want a divorce in the marriage because I can't live my life like this. Yeah, that is it.

That is it. All right, well listen, you said your piece. You want a divorce, I hear you. Thank you for telling me your story. I really appreciate you. Yeah, thank you. You stay here for a second. He's telling you directly he wants a divorce. Why is it hard for you to accept that? Yeah, I get it. Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here. Hold my hand. Come. My hand. Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, Come here, come here. I know it's hard. I know, I know, I know. This is killing you. I don't think that you've been in a relationship yet where someone's given you the love that you deserve. I don't think you've been valued yet. And I think part of the reason that this is hitting you so hard is because you're trying with men who aren't worth trying with. Do you think you've ever gotten in a relationship that you deserve?

No.

He admitted that he cheated on you. You caught him cheating on you, you put it on TikTok. He's telling you to your face he's divorced. None of that stuff is about you. You flew across the country to find love. You just flew to a man who wasn't the right man for you. So you can cry, mourn this loss, but after this, the real work has to start. The real work has to start of understanding and rebuilding your self-esteem. You hear me? Do you know how to rebuild your self-esteem? You don't. I don't know where to start. You wanna start? You wanna start building your self-esteem? Then I can help you with it.

Thank you.

Seriously. I wanna make sure after this we gonna connect and I wanna give you some resources to start building your self-esteem because the more you build your self-esteem and the more you recognize what you don't deserve, the things that should not be happening to you, the things that you should be getting, that's the more you're gonna feel lighter, the more you're gonna change your attitude, the more you're gonna know like this ain't right. So you willing to let me help you build your self-esteem?

Yes.

All right, good. I'm gonna be here for you, all right? Thank you. Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.